Virgo – Stoner Astrological Horoscope

Stoner Virgo, have you ever heard the phrase, ‘It was written in the stars'? Well, I think they meant planets, and boy do you have a book to read this month! One of your largest character traits and strengths will put you at the mercy of planetary alignment in June. You have a great ability to be stable while also being flexible. This key characteristic will be tested in June as you can expect to be pushed and pulled in multiple directions by cosmic influence. Your cannabis prescription this month is EVERYTHING! Fill your stash jars with a plethora of cannabis species and strains. From high CBD to blended hybrids, and even some pure breads for sure. Believe in yourself stoner Virgo. Arm yourself with the right cannabis tool for the correct moment. The shifting landscape of cosmic influence will require an ability to remain stable while bending with flexibility. But remember my stoner Virgin: This ability is within you. There will be moments of extreme confidence wrapped in resolve. Select a hybrid for these extreme moments to soften the edges of cosmic influence. There will be moments of danger within communication conflict. Sense these moments stoner Virgo. Select a more contemplative Indica strain to help yourself think before speaking. There will be moments of raw emotion from internalizations. Find a Sativa dominant hybrid to soften the raw edges of powerful growth and remembrances. I cannot say if this will be a positive or negative month for the stoner Virgo.  I can say that you have everything you need to make it a month of progress and great growth.  Pay attention to your personal environment, and adjust accordingly.

Stoner Virgo, the final Spring month may set up as a battle of ideas. Perhaps a conflict between natural traits and cosmic influence. Maybe even a debate between planning and action. The great news is that there is no better stoner star sign to have a contemplative debate with themselves more so than the stoner Virgo. My sweet Virgin you will feel at home in May. Inward contemplation assisted by your cannabis copilot will come easy, and provide sparks of inspiration for action. However, use caution with high minded communications. These self reflected marijuana musings might not be ready for smoke circle consumption. If simple conversations take a defensive or heated tone, step out to toke time to reflect. You are highly capable stoner Virgo, but an endless argument leads to a dead end of frustration every time. Thus the debate of the month becomes like that stoney Clash classic, Should I Stay or Should I Go. Your natural trait, and universal influence, will favor a contemplative stoner Virgo with planning smoke sessions in solitude. But a brisk cosmic breeze of social energy will tempt the Virgin to the flame of smoke circle dynamics. There will be times to share a joint, and a philosophical exploration. There will be times to forgo challenging topics with cannabis companions. And there will be times to jump into the smoke circle, but keep your secrets and plans to yourself. It's all up to you stoner Virgo. Trust yourself. Trust the sacred herbal influence. And trust your connection to the universe.

What stoner Virgo doesn't like a good puzzle or a complex game? The April time period will present challenges and obstacles synonymous with these methods and concepts. Buckle up my valiant Virgin. Before the big match, or when the puzzle lay in pieces, the forthcoming challenge can seem daunting and intimidating. Trust and Courage will be required to complete the challenge. The month begins without warning of the start time as the New Moon falls on March 31st. Toke time in the first few days of April to meditate with the sacred herb. Just you, your favorite piece, and some cosmic cannabis. Focus your medicated meditation on Trust and Courage. Trust yourself stoner Virgo. You have all the tools required to solve any dilemma that comes your way this month. Cannabis helps us see ourselves. Take a mindful note with your third eye gazed within. You have great strengths and wonderful attributes. Acknowledge them. Empower them. The universal puzzle or the cosmic game presented this month are yours, and yours alone. Steady your nerves throughout the month with high CBD rich cannabis strains. You have entered a fluid period where options and obstacles must be addressed with confidence and Courage. One aspect of April that will be less murky and opaque is the sphere of love. The planets have aligned in your favor my vivacious Virgin. Perhaps this cosmic warm breeze will be enhanced by the early smoke session focused on confidence? No matter the sphere of influence or the cosmic conundrum presented, toke time with your cannabis copilot to instill Trust in yourself, and Courage to smoke the competition.

Stoner Virgo, did you miss Valentine's Day in February? Perhaps the calendars are off. The New Moon on March second is possibly your second chance at Valentine's love. For partnered Virgos this means a chance at rekindling that old spark that lit the flame of the relationship. Toke the opportunity to burn a bowl with your love. Light the cannabis connection that assisted companionship. For single Virgos this New Moon marks a moment for new possibilities. You are entering a phase of opportunity for cannabis companionship. Inhale the positive machinations of the sacred herb, and blow out the spark of manifestation. Perhaps the February time period was more stagnant than you would prefer my lovely Virgin. March will be the month of self motivation, and you are certainly capable of this task. There are times to burn philosophical sacred bowls, and contemplate free-will versus destiny. And there are times spark-up the divine inspiration contained within the magic of the sacred herb. Get up and get moving stoner Virgo! It's all up to you right now. Enjoy the month. It gets off to a memorable emotional tone. But then the bounty of benefits throughout the month all fall within your sphere of understanding and motivation. Associate action with smoke sessions. Focus on health and body more so than heady contemplations of life, the universe, and everything. As all things fall into place by month's end. Perhaps you will truly be able to question if your conscious actions got you there, or if it were destiny all along.

Stoner Virgo, in January you might have broken down with a tear or two; all within the same motion of flipping into a joker meme. What a wild ride January was. What a blessing it is to feel all those emotions. What a time to be alive. Maybe you look back at January as grabbing a hold of a lightning bolt, and channeling the power. Maybe you see it like peeing on an electric fence, and feeling the power! No matter what you think about the first month of 2022; that bowl is cached. Slow you roll early in the month. Toke time for a solo smoke session with the sacred herb. A nice balanced hybrid should do nicely. Don't go too deep with this meditative smoke session stoner Virgo. Keep it light. Focus on navigation my stoner Virgin. Catch your bearings. Coming out of a period like the one you just passed through is destabilizing. You will need to be kind to yourself, and allow your internal systems to balance. This initial light medicated meditation is so important to set the tone for February. You have so much skill, discipline, and tenacity stoner Virgo. You will only need a little nudge from a nug to get you back into the groove. Finally, take close care of loved ones in your immediate family.  In this day-and-age doctors appointments can bring anxiety, but neglecting health concerns only passes the bowl.  In the smoke circle of life, the bowl always comes back to you.

Stoner Virgo your natural state of being is on-point and on-mission.  Of all the stoner star signs, possibly you know best that manifestation only occurs with action.  December will be a comfortable period as universal influence coincides with your stoner directives. Those words may seem sweet like the sticky icky, but a lot can pass … Continue reading Virgo Stoner Horoscope December →

Stoner Virgo the clouds of Fall have fully set in.  Not just within the terrestrial climate, but within astrological realms as well.  Not doom and gloom, but more like a boring haze. But there is a bright side within this dense and dull period.  The stoner Virgo is naturally built for this mundane drudgery. What … Continue reading Virgo Stoner Horoscope November →

Stoner Virgo, hi-ho hi-ho, it’s off to work we go.  Is that the mantra that keeps you safe, happy, and pushing progress?  In October there will be an opportunity to squeeze more out of life than tangible project manifestation. With the season of Libra, celestial influence brings balance and opportunity for the stoner Virgin. Sure … Continue reading Virgo Stoner Horoscope October →

Stoner Virgo the month of August will be similar to that time you hit the pipe, or joint, one time too many in one session.  Crashing waves of stoned paranoia followed by troughs of paralyzing deep contemplative thoughts all leaving you beached on an island within yourself.   We’ve all been there, my logical Virgin.  The … Continue reading Virgo Stoner Horoscope August → The post Virgo Stoner Horoscope August appeared first on Stoner Astrological Horoscope.

Stoner Virgo, your Zodiac peers often look enviously to your example:  An easy breezy, go-with-the-flow kind of stride that keeps everyone wondering, “How DO they do it?”  As nice as it is to recite mantras like, ‘keep calm and puff on' or ‘light up and let go', you know the truth stoner Virgo: It takes … Continue reading Virgo Stoner Horoscope July → The post Virgo Stoner Horoscope July appeared first on Stoner Astrological Horoscope.

Stoner Virgo, get ready for an intriguing June.  Mercury and Saturn are in retrograde this month, and the effects could be more dramatic for the hard working Virgin. You must find your inner chill stoner Virgo.  Seek out an Indica dominant hybrid cannabis strain to utilize as your daily driver for the month.  Wedding Cake … Continue reading Virgo Stoner Horoscope June → The post Virgo Stoner Horoscope June appeared first on Stoner Astrological Horoscope.

Stoner Virgo, you are the kind hearted organized ally of the stoner Zodiac.  So much of your terrestrial mission is in service to others, particularly your close cannabis companions within the smoke circle.  The month of May brings with it an uncomfortable selfish breeze from the universe.  But don’t fret my analytical Virgin, the selfish … Continue reading Virgo Stoner Horoscope May → The post Virgo Stoner Horoscope May appeared first on Stoner Astrological Horoscope.

Cosmic vibes in April favor the natural traits of the stoner Virgo.  Ah yes my helpful Virgin, it will be nice to have a cosmic breeze at your back while you traverse the terrestrial plane.  But this warm influence will amplify all of your stonerific qualities, maybe even the ones that can cause friction with … Continue reading Virgo Stoner Horoscope April → The post Virgo Stoner Horoscope April appeared first on Stoner Astrological Horoscope.

Stoner Virgo the transition to Spring will find a wonderfully positive influence from our grand celestial bodies.  The particular positive push from the universe will combine well with your natural stoner tendencies and traits.  Compounding this positive combination will be the impact felt in both the personal and work spheres. Alright my practical stoner Virgin, … Continue reading Virgo Stoner Horoscope March → The post Virgo Stoner Horoscope March appeared first on Stoner Astrological Horoscope.

Stoner Virgo can you direct change within a consistent routine?  Can you build a house within a home?  The February time period will flow naturally toward your stoner strengths:  Consistency, Diligence, and Heart.  Keep the stash jar loaded stoner Virgo.  This month is full of complex puzzles you are sure to enjoy, especially with your … Continue reading Virgo Stoner Horoscope February → The post Virgo Stoner Horoscope February appeared first on Stoner Astrological Horoscope.

Stoner Virgo you are a unique terrestrial astronaut flying through the galaxy on our cosmic spaceship.  You are a hard worker; organized in your routine and ambitious undertakings.  This month will provide a break from routine.  Prepare to feed your head instead of the to-do list in January.  There may be uncomfortable aspects to the … Continue reading Virgo Stoner Horoscope January → The post Virgo Stoner Horoscope January appeared first on Stoner Astrological Horoscope.

Stoner Virgo the month of December sets up like an older stoner classic, the peanut butter and jelly sandwich.  Two opposite worlds will combine for straight fire this month.  And, as with the sandwich, the ingredients and process will be easy to procure and execute. First the peanut butter, the foundational glue to the delicious … Continue reading Virgo Stoner Horoscope December → The post Virgo Stoner Horoscope December appeared first on Stoner Astrological Horoscope.

Stoner Virgo not all periods of Mercury retrograde are created equally.  As you have learned in the past couple weeks, perhaps you are well equipped with cosmic traits that can thrive during such periods.  Inhale the calming nature of the sacred herb.  Recent frustrations and communication breakdowns will twist like a finely rolled joint into … Continue reading Virgo Stoner Horoscope November → The post Virgo Stoner Horoscope November appeared first on Stoner Astrological Horoscope.

Stoner Virgo October brings influential and impactful influence from the universe.  As the seed transforms into the flowering bud, there are many crucial actions and moments along the path.  The second Fall month is a potentially transformative period with long-term impacts for the stoner Virgin. Stoner Virgo a grand harvest always starts with a seed.  … Continue reading Virgo Stoner Horoscope October → The post Virgo Stoner Horoscope October appeared first on Stoner Astrological Horoscope.

Stoner Virgo September brings cosmic blessings the likes of which have not been seen all year.  Yup, it will be a heaping bowl of green powered positivity this month. A shifting landscape may throw others off their feet, but not you, not this month stoner Virgo.  Herbal wings of positivity will keep you upright and … Continue reading Virgo Stoner Horoscope September → The post Virgo Stoner Horoscope September appeared first on Stoner Astrological Horoscope.

Stoner Virgo the month of August sets up to be quite a wonderful period filled with cosmic progress and stoney companionship.  But the best news is this:  All that is required from the universe is within you my stoner Virgin.  Your cannabis prescription for August is open, so long as your natural traits, and wonderful … Continue reading Virgo Stoner Horoscope August → The post Virgo Stoner Horoscope August appeared first on Stoner Astrological Horoscope.

Stoner Virgo the greenest gardens do not happen by luck.  It takes effort and considerable care if you want those big, dense, and frosty buds when harvest time comes.  The same applies to any other project and goal; whether you are planting this season’s crop, or planning the rest of your summer.  Embrace the process … Continue reading Virgo Stoner Horoscope July → The post Virgo Stoner Horoscope July appeared first on Stoner Astrological Horoscope.

Stoner Virgo, what goes up must come down, that much is known.  The true test of grit and determination is remembering that even if we fall, we can get back up again; and in most cases, make it to greater highs than you were before the fall.  You may feel discouraged during the first weeks … Continue reading Virgo Stoner Horoscope June → The post Virgo Stoner Horoscope June appeared first on Stoner Astrological Horoscope.

Stoner Virgo May promises to be a time of uncertainty:  Cosmic rain, followed by sun rays, followed by cloudy chaos.  But you wouldn’t have it any other way, would you my rambunctious Virgin.  After all, you relish the prospect of a good challenge.  Instead of taking this as an opportunity to flex, use this unique … Continue reading Virgo Stoner Horoscope May → The post Virgo Stoner Horoscope May appeared first on Stoner Astrological Horoscope.

Stoner Virgo April is going to be a time potentially marred with ambiguity. Winter has melted away, but we are not quite yet to the burning days of summer.  This somewhere-in-between feeling can be overwhelming if you do not find some way to release the pressure. Don’t let uncertainty get the best of you! What … Continue reading Virgo Stoner Horoscope April → The post Virgo Stoner Horoscope April appeared first on Stoner Astrological Horoscope.

Stoner Virgo the first Spring month will be like our favorite plant.  More precisely, like a cannabis garden. It may sound cliche when we say things like, “Life is a garden, dig it.”  In March the comparison runs deeper. You can expect to experience it all stoner Virgo: The struggle of seeding, the restless hopefulness … Continue reading Virgo Stoner Horoscope March → The post Virgo Stoner Horoscope March appeared first on Stoner Astrological Horoscope.

Stoner Virgo, if you take time to reflect on the closing months of the past year, you are likely to find yourself feeling more bumped and bruised than you remembered.  Your ceaseless grind kept you moving forward during this time, but perhaps not always in the direction you intended. January was a time for you … Continue reading Virgo Stoner Horoscope February → The post Virgo Stoner Horoscope February appeared first on Stoner Astrological Horoscope.

January will be a fresh start for some, but for you stoner Virgo, it will be a time when seeds long ago planted finally coming to fruition.  Most of December you may have felt stagnant, existing in a primarily vegitative state. But, good things take time to mature; while it may seem like it has … Continue reading Virgo Stoner Horoscope January → The post Virgo Stoner Horoscope January appeared first on Stoner Astrological Horoscope.

As 2019 comes to a close, there is more than retrospective meditation required for the stoner Virgo.  The final month of the year will offer support and opportunity for investment in self. No, my introspective Virgin, the cosmic investment opportunity in December won’t necessarily have monetary gain, or deep mental progression at its core.  It … Continue reading Virgo Stoner Horoscope December → The post Virgo Stoner Horoscope December appeared first on Stoner Astrological Horoscope.

Stoner Virgo look out for strange coincidences and happy accidents during the final Fall month. These minute, but meaningful, interactions can result in bursts of breakthrough in understanding, and subtle symbiotic cannabis connections. While it will serve you well to pay attention to the little things, avoid over analyzing and cultivating unnecessary feelings of paranoia. … Continue reading Virgo Stoner Horoscope November → The post Virgo Stoner Horoscope November appeared first on Stoner Astrological Horoscope.

Stoner Virgo you can only control your actions and reactions within a changing terrestrial landscape. Cosmic influences in October will bring another class in communication studies. You will never be able to control the action or reaction of a cannabis companion, but you can always take responsibility for yourself within a debate or conversation. Toke … Continue reading Virgo Stoner Horoscope October → The post Virgo Stoner Horoscope October appeared first on Stoner Astrological Horoscope.

Stoner Virgo the month will start with your head high in the clouds. However, your feet will be firmly grounded. You should be on maximum grind mode in the early days of September. Sunny afternoons should be spent soaking up, and smoking up the last days of summer. Toke time for musing with the marijuana … Continue reading Virgo Stoner Horoscope September → The post Virgo Stoner Horoscope September appeared first on Stoner Astrological Horoscope.

Stoner Virgo the current planetary alignment will focus on you with a blinding magnification. This intense influence will accentuate all the attributes of the stoner Virgo. Both positive and negative attributes will be exposed to the terrestrial world. Know thyself stoner Virgo. Toke time to medicate and meditate with the sacred herb early in the … Continue reading Virgo Stoner Horoscope August → The post Virgo Stoner Horoscope August appeared first on Stoner Astrological Horoscope.

Stoner Virgo let’s employ the Atari video game Pitfall to fully understand the traps and opportunities of the month. Your path may not be predetermined, but walk the path you must. There will be sturdy rope swings to take you safely across obstacles; and there will be hidden traps that set you back on your … Continue reading Virgo Stoner Horoscope July 2019 →

Freedom! The first summer month will bring a cosmic lubricant to any stoner Virgos stuck in the grind of life. Romance, business, all spheres will be affected by this cosmic blessing. Put on your cannabis club kicks; your dance card with the sacred herb is wide open. Any, and all, strains can be considered during … Continue reading Virgo Stoner Horoscope June 2019 →

Stoner Virgo, the final month of spring will be marked by a rain of positivity from a supportive celestial alignment. In order to make the most of these benefits, you must stay active. Avoid couchlock and putting off tasks for later. While it may always be nice to get high, those who remain ‘high minded' … Continue reading Virgo Stoner Horoscope May 2019 →

For the stoner Virgos that felt last month's challenges with intensity, you'll be pleased to know that Mercury's current alignment will minimize both the positive and negative aspects of April. You could say the cosmic house is empty, so this would be the perfect time to throw on your favorite dancing skivvies and let loose. … Continue reading Virgo Stoner Horoscope April 2019 →

Stoner Virgo the first spring month will bring a break in negative storm clouds brought by Mercury during 2019. The month should be positive and bright, but only for an attentive stoner Virgo. March will require a combination of already held talents, and newfound patience, to conquer important obstacles. Critical decisions must be assessed and … Continue reading Virgo Stoner Horoscope March 2019 →

Stoner Virgos can expect to feel a magnetic pull from both negative and positive forces this month. Some would say it's like being stuck between a rock and a hard spot. Or, like having some sweet, frosty nugs, but no way to smoke them. Maybe a giant plate of medicated brownies, but no fellow cosmic … Continue reading Virgo February 2019 →

Stoner Virgo as the New Year gets underway, you are likely to feel like the cosmic currents are pulling you in conflicting directions. Unfortunately, the planetary positions will affect your own inner alignment during this period. You may notice this dampens your self confidence and belief in your own abilities. Stoner Virgo the important thing … Continue reading Virgo January 2019 →

What's the rush stoner Virgo? Wait, that's right, there isn't one. This December you should expect to move along at a slow, but steady burn. Stock up on any smoking supplies you may need early in the month, and make sure your nug jars are full. Your main goal will be to recharge the body, … Continue reading Virgo December 2018 →

Stoner Virgo whether or not you practice yoga, or make a weekly trip to the gym, it will be important for you to remain flexible this month. Just like the seasons, your surroundings are constantly changing. As long as you are willing and able to adapt, you will be ready to handle any curve ball … Continue reading Virgo November 2018 →

The month of October will bring out the most Virgo-like qualities in you. Your attention to detail will prove to be of great assistance to you during this time. Plan execution and task mastery will be at an ultimate peak, but be wary of potential buzz kills trying to crash your productivity party. In your … Continue reading Virgo October 2018 →

From the slow uneventful to the fire Stoner Virgo! September will give you a chance to blaze your path to glory. But be ready! Protect yourself from whiplash, as positive movement and the momentum it gains will amaze you. From time to time our lives can feel like a stuck bolt. Regardless of wrenching, oiling, … Continue reading Virgo September 2018 →

Know thyself stoner Virgo. July presents an interesting challenge. Cosmic winds will be swirling in an unpredictable manner. Internal conflicts must be addressed to receive blessings from the universe. Pitfalls and traps lie in wait, but not from external sources. Many Virgos find unsettling paranoia from some smoke sessions. In the second summer month it … Continue reading Virgo July 2018 →

Stoner Virgo June presents a familiar challenge. Although the old adage “Let it Be,” can sound easy enough, it may require an active effort on your part this month to fight the urge to try to solve everyone else's problems. Some things are simply out of your control, and your efforts will be better spent … Continue reading Virgo June 2018 →

Stoner Virgo, you may think the universe is conspiring against you, but realistically you will feel everything more deeply this month. But, this is not necessarily a bad thing as these magnifications will be just as noticeable with positive emotions. Following your heart will be the precise recipe required to overcome any and all obstacles … Continue reading Virgo May 2018 →

No one’s saying you should be a homebody this month, Stoner Virgo, but you will benefit from focusing the majority of your attentions to your home-life.  In the hustle and bustle of the daily grind it can be easy to neglect particular facets of our many responsibilities. Especially this month, it is important you do … Continue reading Virgo April 2018 →

Stoner Virgo, we are aware of the old adage: sharing is caring. It will be important to remember this phrase in March. This does not only apply to celebrating the good times, as you are likely to be called upon to help lift those nearest to you in their time of need. The good news … Continue reading Virgo March 2018 →

Stoner Virgo, this month will be all about the long game and a slow roll. This does not mean you should settle in on the couch or try to avoid tasks on your to-do list. To the contrary, you want to make sure you are moving forward at a deliberate and determined manner, otherwise you … Continue reading Virgo February 2018 →

Stoner Virgo you powerful, beautiful creature, the beginning of 2018 promises to be a magical time. The only requirement to receiving the positive cosmic vibes will be trust and confidence in yourself. Combust the sacred herb and meditate on your internal abilities. Your analytical nature helps you understand and know things not easily available to … Continue reading Virgo January 2018 →