Young, Brown & Not Entirely Free

In Episode 16, Zam is all fired up to talk about a common problem in our Brown communities: staring. Ruhi and Zam share their uncomfortable stories of being stared at from instances that were just plain ridiculous and laughable, to situations that were scary and even dangerous. After Zam's admission in Episode 14 about her intense need for sharing eye contact with others, Ruhi begins to question whether her best friend has turned into one of those aunties who can't shake a staring habit. Keep listening to find out.How do you deal with others staring at you, be they aunties or random men on the street? Share your tips in our closed Facebook community.For news on upcoming episodes and to let us know what you want to hear more about, head to our Facebook page. Co-hosts: Zam & RuhiMusic composed by: Aman DemblaProduced by: Ruhi Lee

In Episode 15, Zam and Ruhi discuss their struggle to trust their mothers with the personal details of their lives, for fear that the information will be passed onto others. Then they talk about how they manage the relationship with their mums knowing that it's not a safe space to divulge everything in confidence (as much as they wish it were otherwise).For news on upcoming episodes and to let us know what you want to hear more about, head to our Facebook page. If you'd like to continue the discussion after today's episode, request to join our closed Facebook community. Co-hosts: Zam & RuhiMusic composed by: Aman DemblaProduced by: Ruhi Lee

In Episode 14, Zam and Ruhi talk about how they were 'disciplined' as children. Often, the lines were blurred between discipline and punishment. And unfortunately, such frequent and intense punishment has had lifelong effects. Ruhi and Zam then discuss how they are trying to replace the negative internal dialogue that was cemented in their minds as children; turning down the volume of that crazy-loud inner critic that sounds like our parents and dealing with the damaging effect of perfectionism.There are countless people around the world recovering from trauma in their childhoods, Brown or not. But it can often happen in quite a specific, yet widespread way in Brown families. Not all, but a lot of us are familiar with shaming and physical punishment, for example. If this is you, please reach out for help. We've now created a private Facebook group so that listeners can interact about sensitive things and support each other. It's free to join and be a part of this community. We'll try and put up a few links to online, international resources that might be of assistance as well, both on our page and in our community.For news on upcoming episodes and to let us know what you want to hear more about, head to our Facebook page.As with the previous episode, there were a few mentions about love languages in this episode. If you're unfamiliar with the concept of love languages, here is the website for more information. Take the online test to find out what your love language is.Co-hosts: Zam & RuhiMusic composed by: Aman DemblaProduced by: Ruhi Lee

Over the holidays, Zam attended a wellness retreat in New Zealand while Ruhi travelled to Bali for some time off. Both came back with some new self-care rituals they were keen to implement into their routines. But two weeks later, it all went out the window as they came to terms with 'real life' again. In Episode 1 of Season 2, they talk about the ways they are trying to find a balance between the zen and the hustle. They also talk about how, like many other brown women, they were raised to sacrifice any preoccupation with their emotions and/or to sacrifice their individual pursuits of enjoyment, apart from their families; they weren't exactly given the space to enjoy themselves or care for themselves on their own terms. Lastly, Zam and Ruhi discuss moving beyond self-care and asking someone else to care for you, which is especially helpful when, at times, you suck at self-care as much as they do.Let us know what you do for self care. And do you find it hard to ask someone else to care for you? Why? Let us know on our Facebook page.Also, there were a few mentions about love languages in this episode. If you're unfamiliar with the concept of love languages, here is the website for more information. Take the online test to find out what your love language is. Co-hosts: Zam & RuhiMusic composed by: Aman DemblaProduced by: Ruhi Lee

A big thank you to our dear listeners! We have some exciting episodes lined up for Season 2, coming out in 2020. We'd love your input. Head to our Facebook page - tell us your topic ideas and questions! If you have a minute, please rate this podcast and we'd be so grateful if you could leave a review. In the meantime, we wish you happy holidays. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year! Co-hosts: Zam & Ruhi Music composed by: Aman DemblaProduced by: Ruhi Lee

In Episode 12, Zam and Ruhi talk about how they are pushing through the barriers that were set up during their childhoods to push them into careers relating to Maths, Science or other paths their parents deemed appropriate. If this is something you relate to, we hope you feel encouraged after listening to the episode. We can break through these walls together people! Come chat with us in our Facebook community.Note: We are still working on the quality of our audio during long-distance recording. Bear with us. We'll get there!Co-hosts: Zam & Ruhi Music composed by: Aman DemblaProduced by: Ruhi Lee

In Episode 11, Zam and Ruhi talk about how they were pushed to study Maths and Science related subjects in school, at the expense of being able to explore their more creative interests.Have your parents pushed you to study certain subjects that you are not interested in? Or have they been super supportive of your choices? We'd love to hear more from you. Come chat with us in our Facebook community.Note: We are still working on the quality of our audio during long-distance recording. Bear with us. We'll get there!Co-hosts: Zam & Ruhi Music composed by: Aman DemblaProduced by: Ruhi Lee

In Episode 10, Zam and Ruhi talk about how they can't help but be impatient and snappy with their mums. They are both trying to be kinder, after years of having extra short fuses when it comes to their dear mothers. They look at why this might be the case and possible solutions. Clue: Empathy is a big one.Apologies for the shocking audio quality everyone! Hopefully this is just a once-off. Do you feel this way about someone you're in a relationship with? Come chat with us in our Facebook community.Co-hosts: Zam & Ruhi Music composed by: Aman DemblaProduced by: Ruhi Lee

In Episode 9, Zam shares helpful tips that have worked for her on how to have a successful family meeting about an issue that matters to you. Ruhi loves her advice but also acknowledges that in some families, you can try as hard as you like and still not be heard. What then?How have you approached tricky topics with your family? Do you have tips you can share with the community? Maybe you'd like to share your success story or your ongoing struggle in this area. Maybe you've given up. Come chat with us in our Facebook community.Co-hosts: Zam & RuhiMusic composed by: Aman DemblaProduced by: Ruhi Lee

In Episode 8, Zam and Ruhi talk about how they took on the role of parenting their younger siblings and how they are just trying to be big sisters instead of 'little mothers' now. Head to our Facebook page and let us know if you struggle with leaving the parenting to your parents and why. It's more common than you think.Co-hosts: Zam & Ruhi Music composed by: Aman DemblaProduced by: Ruhi Lee

In Episode 7, Ruhi talks about being frowned upon by her father when she breastfed her baby in front of his guests instead of going into a different room. Zam and Ruhi then discuss the wider cultural issue of hostility at worst and discomfort at best when brown women show skin.Head to our Facebook page and let us know if you've ever been confronted by a family member when showing parts of your body that are expected to be hidden.Co-hosts: Zam & Ruhi Music composed by: Aman DemblaProduced by: Ruhi Lee

In Episode 6, Zam & Ruhi share their 'getting my period for the first time' stories. They were unprepared and ill-informed to say the least. They then talk about how they each went about de-stigmatizing menstruation in their own families. If your mother organised a party when you first got your period, you are definitely not alone. And if she didn't, feel free to listen for the laughs! Unbelievable.Did you endure a period party? Head to our Facebook page and have a whinge with us. #solidarityCo-hosts: Zam & RuhiMusic composed by: Aman DemblaProduced by: Ruhi Lee

In Episode 5, Zam and Ruhi talk about some of the ridiculous superstitions they have been told to live by in their childhoods. They also take a look at the serious side of superstitions and how damaging they can be at times. Ever been told by your parents not to laugh too hard during the day or else you will cry in the evening? Well, be prepared to ball your eyes out later today after you listen to this episode.Head to our Podcast Community on Facebook to let us know about the superstitious beliefs that have had an impact on your life.Co-hosts: Zam & Ruhi Music composed by: Aman DemblaProduced by: Ruhi Lee

In Episode 4, we talk about where the pressure comes from to get married. Zam shares about how she has dealt with the immense pressure her parents have been putting on her to find a life partner for the past 8 years. Though there's no hurry, she still doesn't have a man but what does have, is peace of mind (in spite of the continuing noise from her family).Head to our Podcast Community on Facebook to tell us about the struggles you or someone you know has faced when it comes to marital expectations.Co-hosts: Zam & Ruhi Music composed by: Aman DemblaProduced by: Ruhi Lee

In Episode 3, we talk about our exasperation at the beauty standards imposed on brown women by our culture and in particular, our mothers. Ruhi tells us how she got her mother to stop obsessing over her appearance and how she is going to take a different approach with her own daughter.Head to our Podcast Community on Facebook to tell us about the beauty standards you've felt pressure to measure up to.Co-hosts: Zam & Ruhi Music composed by: Aman DemblaProduced by: Ruhi Lee

In Episode 2, Zam talks about how she recently started seeing a Psychologist when she noticed that she was feeling down more often than not. The first session was life-altering. It became clear that the reason for her emotions was a major disconnect between who she felt she was deep down and the identity she was projecting to please those around her.Head to our Podcast Community on Facebook to let us know about the ways you've felt you have had to perform for someone else's approval.Co-hosts: Zam & Ruhi Music composed by: Aman DemblaProduced by: Ruhi Lee

In Episode 1, we introduce ourselves and invite you to join our Podcast Community on Facebook, Young, Brown and Not Entirely Free. Pop in to say hello. Can't wait to meet you!Co-hosts: Zam & Ruhi Music composed by: Aman DemblaProduced by: Ruhi Lee