In The Midst ...

Frank and Jenifer discuss their talk at St. Bernard Catholic Church this past weekend as well as an inspiring story they were told by two grieving parents.  

It took 3 attempts but we finally recorded this episode! Podcasting with a family is not easy. LOL! But we were determined to sit down and discuss what it has been like the past year trying to grow an apostolate. We were prompted to have this discussion by a big milestone. We reached 1,000 likes on our Facebook page!  We talk about how Maggie's witness is inextricably bound to our family life. We also talk about what it means to have a living witness; one not bound to a moment in time, but one that lives, grows and perseveres each day, week, month and year by the power of the gospel of Jesus Christ. We also have a fairly in-depth conversation about how the gospel brings victory in the very relationships between Christians by making these relationships unbreakable and metaphysical. Christian relationships are not defined by or bound to the earthly and physical, but actually reach into heaven.

Elizabeth and I talk in more detail about Padre Pio's stigmata; specifically about the medical examinations he was subjected to as well as those done by church authorities sent by the pope. We also talk about the 10 year persecution Padre Pio faced by those within the Church, including within the Vatican, and the death of his sister Felicita and his mother. 

In this new series, my daughter Elizabeth and I discuss a few saints that we have been reading about, beginning with Padre Pio. Padre Pio was a Franciscan priest and monk from Italy who bore the stigmata (i.e., the physical wounds of Jesus Christ) for 50 years and performed many miracles. Both his stigmata and many of his miracles were subjected to scientific and medical scrutiny, and Padre Pio himself faced strong opposition from high-ranking members of the Catholic Church.

A letter from one wounded heart to another. The darkness of the cross and the hurricane of suffering, and the hope of a single brick. 

A letter from one wounded heart to another. The stillness, the quiet, the darkness - is this death or new birth?

A letter from one wounded heart to another. The birds sing their morning song while you sing your mourning song. 

A letter from one wounded heart to another. There is one who reaches out to you in the midst of your suffering who bears a wounded hand.

A letter from one wounded heart to another.  One day your avalanche of sorrow will melt and water your flower of hope.

In this episode, we discuss an article written by a father who lost his child and who lives with regret because he sacrificed too much time away from his family for his career, and who struggles with going back to work. We give our two cents based upon our own experience. We also talk about the challenge of having to rebuild yourself, even as people of faith, after such a devastating loss. 

Frank and Jenifer discuss how authentic parenting does not mean perfect parenting, and how humble parenting is heroic parenting. They also discuss a Dear Abby column and the need for heroic friendship and grief education. 

A brief introduction to our daughter Maggie.

Prepare for death as you may, you can never prepare for your child’s death. I could never have imagined that Maggie would be leading us to the Altar of the Lord to say her eternal vows. I wasn’t ready to walk down that aisle and give her away. But there she was, at her funeral Mass, surrounded by the Stations of the Cross, where she had followed Jesus. https://joyfullikemaggie.com/

Everyone gathers at the hospital to say good-bye to Maggie. Upon her departure, circled around her body, we sing the chorus to Matt Maher’s Lord, I Need You, and then we chant “Holy, Holy, Holy” in recognition of God’s presence and glory. What happens when your daughter dies of a brain tumor? What happens when miracles don’t happen? Everyone Jesus healed still died. There must be something more to faith than miracles. Indeed there is, Maggie’s death offers to us a witness that death genuflects before the Easter proclamation, “Christ is risen!” and responds, “He is risen indeed.”

Having received the news about our daughter's fate, I now have to go home and tell my wife and kids and everyone else. We go back to the hospital with family and friends to say good-bye to Maggie. Our daughter Nicaea declares that the devil has no power over us, which we demonstrate at the hospital when we gather around Maggie to praise God in the recitation of the Gloria in excelsis Deo. 

In this episode, I talk about the wait after Maggie’s surgery. We wait in the eye of the storm as the doctors try throughout the night and twilight hours to get Maggie stabilized. It became clear that night that Maggie’s condition was far worse than we had realized. Here, in the eye of the storm, Easter is alive. I say to my wife, “We are an Easter people. We rejoice differently, and we mourn differently.” In the twilight of the night, Maggie receives the Sacrament of Confirmation.   In the morning, the neurosurgeons tell me there is nothing that can be done to help Maggie. She is going to die. As our daughter prepares to leave us, she does so in the context of the greatest act of worship of God by His people – the Easter season.

In this episode I talk about how, as our daughter laid in her hospital bed, sedated and hooked up to machines and a tube in her mouth, my wife sings to her the chorus to Matt Maher’s “Lord, I need you.” In her last two weeks of life, Maggie would sing this chorus and even hum it to herself because she said it comforted her in her suffering. I also talk about Maggie's life-saving surgery and the doctors' plan of action.  Maggie's death has been the greatest challenge to my fundamental belief in the real presence of God in the world and in my life. I've been painfully reminded that the reality of the Gospel does not remove the crucifixion; rather, it hangs on it with you. I have to be born again - again. But how? What is it that will rebirth you in your darkest hour, in your brokenness? 

In this episode I narrate the beginning of Maggie’s death. She wakes up from a nap crying with a severe headache. My wife takes Maggie to a different hospital this time. On the way, Maggie blacks out and then, at the hospital, has a seizure. As I’m speeding to the hospital, I sense the darkness of the evil one and declare in the Holy Spirit, “I will never surrender my faith!” I talk about why this happened to our daughter and why she couldn’t grow up and be a nun, or baker, or singer. Maggie was planted in the midst of a fallen creation to be the littlest flower and witness to supernatural goodness, beauty, truth and joy.

In this episode I talk about the three weeks leading up to Maggie’s passing. During this time, my wife and five kids got sick. They all got better except Maggie. We took her to what would be her first ER visit, where she was examined and released in good condition. Only, Maggie wasn’t in good condition. She ended up missing her last First Holy Communion class and it began to look as though her lifelong preparation for Holy Communion was becoming something very different. In the background, I’m working long hours, helping to lead a men’s ministry, taking Maggie to Holy Communion class on Mondays, leading our family in celebrating the saints’ feast days, and interceding for Maggie’s well-being.

In this inaugural episode, I talk about my solidarity with those in the midst of hardship and suffering. I know what it’s like to be in the midst of pain and hurt, affliction and suffering, fear and anxiety, despair and weakness; to go between no faith and little faith, to fall underneath the weight of the cross and be pushed into the ground by it. I know what it’s like to give up, tap out, throw in the towel, get up, walk out and slam the door. I know what it’s like to bury one’s 10 year old daughter. In the midst of my darkest hour, I found myself hanging on a cross ready to die. I looked over and saw God crucified next to me. He said, “I know the ugliness of this broken creation, Frank, and I’ve come to make all things new. Follow me to the empty tomb, and there you will see all of the weapons of the evil one displayed as my trophies, testifying to my victory over sin, death and the devil.” In this moment I found hope.