Just Talking to the Cornfield

Is anybody out there? Is this on? Yes...it has been a while since The Colonel and Earl have graced the airwaves and tickled your auditory senses (eww). But in honor of, well nothing really, they are back with one of their old favorite games. This time we are re-casting the 1998 film "The Big Lebowski" with baseball personalities, and it's gonna be really stupid. I mean dumb beyond belief. But hey...that's how we do! So join us on the live stream or listen in the comfort of your jail cell or closet at a later time. We're not the bosses of you!

Is anybody out there? Is this on? Yes...it has been a while since The Colonel and Earl have graced the airwaves and tickled your auditory senses (eww). But in honor of, well nothing really, they are back with one of their old favorite games. This time we are re-casting the 1998 film "The Big Lebowski" with baseball personalities, and it's gonna be really stupid. I mean dumb beyond belief. But hey...that's how we do! So join us on the live stream or listen in the comfort of your jail cell or closet at a later time. We're not the bosses of you!

We're baaaaaaaaaack! After a long break due to unforeseen circumstances, Earl and the Colonel are back with their own special brand of stupidity. Tonight they introduce a new segment. What's my line/12 questions. What is it? Tune in to find out. Bitches.

Here are a few things that are painful. A messy divorce, oral surgery, a tattoo on your private parts and watching Jered Weaver pitch in 2017. My dude can't break the speed limit with his fastball, or so it appears. His fastball is so slow that CC Sabathia beat it in a footrace. I'm talking slow. So join Earl and the Colonel as they list their roster of players that really just need to go away now. For the good of everyone involved.

Happy Mother's Day to all in the Cornfield. In honor of the ladies, we will be make a return to the movie re-casting game and this week it's "A League of Their Own". Wait...is re-casting a mostly female film with mostly male baseball personalities the wrong take here? Screw it. Doing it anyway.

There are certain truths we don't mess with. Don't tug on Superman's cape. Don't spit into the wind. Shit like that. Tonight The Colonel attempts to delve into the twisted mind of Earl. When you dance with the Devil, the Devil doesn't change.The Devil changes you. Be afraid...be very afraid.

That title sounds dirty. Let's ignore it for the moment. What we are going to discuss is the Shohei Otani revolution. Hitters who can hit. Pitchers who can hit. It's baseball the way baseball was meant to be! Join the premier two-way hosts in the business as they discuss this and so much more. We may even introduce a new segment or two. It's gonna be _____.

So we have a bunch of shit to get done tonight. Trivia, injuries, suspensions. dips and mWAR. Dips are dips. mWAR is something totally different. Are you confused? So am I. The Colonel is in charge tonight. Be afraid, be very afraid.

"Oh Star Wars, Nothing but Star Wars, Give me those Star Wars, Dont let them end. Oh Star Wars, If they should bar wars, Please let these Star Wars Stay. And hey, how 'bout that nutty Star Wars Bar,Can you forget all those crazy creatures in there? And hey, Darth Vader in his black and evil mask, Did he scare you as much as he scared me? Oh Star Wars, Those near and far wars, Oh STAAAR WAAAAAAARS!"

So here we are. A week into the season and the Yankees suck. Goddamit! But enough negativity. Join Earl and the Colonel as they run down the week that was and the weeks that shall be. We are also going to get downright goofy by naming our 7 Dwarfs of Baseball. The Colonel is Snow White in this scenario. He has the dress and everything. True story.

This is officially the Colonel's favorite show of the year. It's like Christmas morning wrapped with Happy Hour wrapped with discovering a new BBQ joint. Or something like that. I'm not very good with similes. Is that a simile? I'm not very good with knowing things either. Except for baseball. So join us tonight and see what has us jazzed to be baseball fans in 2017. It's gonna be like...good. See? Not so much with the similes.

Well last week's NL Preview was a hoot. And I'm using that term loosely because it was actually kinda boring. In a "predicting the NL this year is easy" kinda way. We did try to jazz it up with our unique blend of humor and advanced stats (yawn), but there's only so much one can do with boring material. But this week? This week we look at the wide-open American League. Our picks for playoff teams, award winners and nose-pickers. This one is guaranteed to be a hoot. A real hoot. Yeah...

Earl and the Colonel preview the 2017 National League and make their picks for playoff teams, MVP, Cy Young and Rookie of the Year. We always come up with the correct predictions. It's true. Bet on it. No seriously...

Really feels like mid-Winter here in the frigid Northeast. My phone's weather app says it is 19 degrees out right now and to expect 12-18 inches of snow on Tuesday. Fuck. That. Noise. It's Spring and baseball has sprung. Spring training games, WBC games, Tim Tebow sightings...it's all good. So join us in the Cornfield and forget about the weather. It's always Spring in here.

A blast from the past. Or ya know...a couple of lazy baseball fans chatting about baseball. You decide?

It's officially Summer and we officially are too fucking lazy to set up an agenda for a show. So you get...jazz. That funky improv that Earl and the Colonel do sometimes when life intervenes. Join us for a show about nothing. What else are you gonna do on a Saturday night?

Here we are, back on Saturday night after a one-week audition in the morning. So that means that we'll have our cocktails on once again. Good thing too, because we are going to continue with the weird. This week's agenda includes our normal (heh) baseball discussions, trivia, a brief chat about drinking games (games? Shit...that's serious business!), a continuation of our All-Ugly All-Stars and a return to our movie re-cast game. This week's sacrifice is Goodfellas. I can't wait to see what the Colonel has in store for us on this one. All I know is that it has become his all-consuming passion since I mentioned it. Weirdo.

This one is gonna be weird. Uh, weirder. Maybe weirdest. Due to our overwhelming schedule of social engagement, ahem, we are hosting our first ever Saturday morning show. We won't even be drunk. Maybe. But we may discuss that one time in college when the Colonel played that weird drinking game and wound up in the closet with his cousin. I hear that Tim was an excellent kisser. Oh, and we'll continue fielding our All-Ugly team because a show where we don't get mean just isn't a show. And we'll play one of our movie/baseball games to lighten things up. We are just gonna assume that you're yawning because it's early. Okay?

This just keeps getting sillier and sillier. This week, Earl and the Colonel begin a new segment. In which each of them will nominate a couple of players to the All-Ugly Team. AKA The Don Mossi All-Stars. Because we clearly haven't been mean ENOUGH in the past few episodes. And we will continue our movie re-cast game. This time up? Die Hard. Yippee-ki-yay, motherfucker!

So this Kershaw guy is pretty good, amirite? We might be chatting about that this evening. We might also be talking about boobs and ham sandwiches. That's the point. One never knows. Here's one thing that Earl and the Colonel will be discussing. Baseball's Mt. Rushmore. Both historically and active. George Washington wouldn't stand for this kind of shit. Oh, and we will continue on with our movie/baseball games. Because it just keeps getting funnier EVERY SINGLE TIME I SEE IT!

This business will get out of control. It will get out of control and we'll be lucky to live through it. Join us this week in the Cornfield for our very first show where Earl and the Colonel will be face-to-face. There's a reason for that, but we'll save that for the show. And we continue with our super-fun game of recasting classic films with baseball personalities. This week will be Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. There's no earthly way of knowing, which direction we are going...

This is gonna be a weird one. Join Earl and the Colonel as they discuss the week that was, ridiculous trade scenarios and hear them recast The Wizard of Oz with baseball personalities. Earl's gonna be drunk. The Colonel would be wise to be wasted as well. So should you. It's Saturday night, fer crissakes!

Wherein the gentlemen, Earl and Thine Colonel, discuss moments of Sacred Excrement. Holy shit moments, in today's parlance. Maybe a great throw or play or walk off HR that had the gentlemen jumping from their seats and exclaiming out loud "HOLY SHIT!". So yeah...it should be craptastic.

This Saturday night thing seems to be sticking. Because who goes out on Saturday nights anymore? And now I'm sad. Join Earl and the Colonel in their sadness as they discuss Jackie Robinson, all these fucking celebrity deaths, over/unders for the MLB season and a return to our movie re-cast game. Because this is what it sounds like...when doves cry.

Episode 102 saw the Colonel list his BOLD predictions for the year. And Earl tore him a new asshole on every one of them. This week the tables are turned as Earl takes his shot at some BOLD predictions. We'll also be talking movies and Jackie Robinson. It should be a hoot.

It's BOLD PREDICTION time here in Cornfield. Earl and the Colonel will give you their outlandish predictions for the coming year. Trevor Story hitting 200+ HR will not be one of them. We also will have some fun with casting classic movies with current and former MLB players and coaches. Or it could suck. You decide!

Another Saturday, another Saturday Night Special visit to the Cornfield with Earl and the Colonel. This may very well be our 6th Annual (!!!) show that highlights the Top 25 Things We Are Excited About in MLB for the upcoming season. I could probably check by simply reviewing our show database. But I don't feel like it. So let's just call it our 6th Annual Show, shall we? Join Drunk Earl and drunk Colonel as they get jiggy wit it about what they are looking forward to the most in the upcoming season. It should be shartastic!

We did it! We made a poopie! Ahem...sorry. We made it to 100 episodes of this lumbering hunk o' crap show. Through sheer will and booze. Join Earl and the Colonel for a Saturday Night Special show where we run down the season that is to be. It's gonna be shartastic!

Earl and the Colonel are goddamned ninjas! That's right. They are doing a ninja show on a ninja Saturday where they are going to do some ninja shit. You wouldn't want to miss a show that had some ninja shit going down, would you?

Well, it's 2016. How the hell did that happen? Earl and the Colonel have been remiss in their Cornfield duties (He said doodies). Hopefully they can make it up to you with some mild Winter Jazz out in that barren Cornfield. Join us if you are as bored with life as we are.

It's always scary when Earl and the Colonel get to thinking. You never know what atrocities they are going to come up with. For this edition of Just Talking to the Cornfield, they have come up with a little game for themselves. Maybe you'd like to play along? Each of them will be creating their ultimate 25-man roster based on what they would like to see from their own twisted perspectives. What's going to be the core philosophy on hitting and lineup constructions? What about the bench? Starting rotations? Bullpens? All that shit, tough guy! And then they will fill out that 25-man roster with real players that they have actually seen play in their lifetime. And to make it less interesting, we put a limit on the number of Hall of Famers (or likely future HoFers or SHOULD BE HoFers) at three. At some point in the future, the Colonel's son will run some simulations to see which team is better over the course of a full season. So join us in the Cornfield Sunday evening and prepare to be underwhelmed by their choices.

How are we kidding? No deep thoughts have ever entered the minds of Earl and the Colonel. Let's just say you may find out some things about our intrepid co-hosts that you may not have feared before? Intrigued? Bored? Horny? Whatever emotion you are feeling right now...it's the wrong emotion. Join us for the show and we may even talk some baseball.

So last week, Earl and the Colonel previewed what they determined was an extremely boring American League. How boring? They picked the same postseason winners and were pretty close on MVP, Cy Young and RoY picks. But the NL is much more interesting. Or is it? Tune in to find out.

So...neither the Colonel nor Earl are exactly prepared for this, but we are gonna do it anyway. A preview of the American League with literally no show prep. We might even remember that Houston is in the American League Central now. Um...right?

I said it. This winter came in like a lamb and going out like a fucking rabid snow leopard. Made it through most of January with no snow and mild temps, but February kicked our ass. And March, thus far, eats a bag of dicks. The entire bag. The Colonel and Earl can't wait for Spring and the start of the MLB season. Even those three little words (pitchers and catchers) couldn't bring us out of our frigid funk. Maybe today's show can. Probably not. Fuck you, Winter!

We've got nothing going on. Neither do you. So why not join us while we blather about baseball and crap? Really...why not?

"It breaks your heart. It is designed to break your heart. The game begins in the spring, when everything else begins again, and it blossoms in the summer, filling the afternoons and evenings, and then as soon as the chill rains come, it stops and leaves you to face the fall alone. You count on it, rely on it to buffer the passage of time, to keep the memory of sunshine and high skies alive, and then just when the days are all twilight, when you need it most, it stops." - A. Bartlet Giamatti