Kiss and Tell

We’re back for a new episode and are unbelievably rusty—probably because Scott hasn’t spoken for six months. We talk about bodies and sex and sex with bodies and more, but mostly it’s just a bunch of the long, strange digressions that you know and love (or tolerate). We also talk about… Body Integrity Identity Disorder, […]

Scott and Maré talk about kissing, lying, drinking blood, foreskin presents and so much more. We also talk about… Ten Thousand, an xkcd comic about not being a jerk Wizard People, still the best thing ever Little Monsters, a movie in which bullies drink pee Animated GIF, internet history is cool Furry Fandom, as if […]

Scott and Maré talk about virgins, long distance relationships, long distance relationship virgins and more! We also talk about… Jams, fancy old shorts Pop Rocks, a legendary candy Mentos and Diet Coke, an explosive combination The Immaculate Conception of Little Dizzle, a film Juli Odomo, Maré’s brother is on Twitter Infinite Jest, a wonderful, crazy […]

Scott and Maré regroup in Seattle to discuss poetry, swimming pools and, of course, blow jobs, because we can’t go a single episode without talking about them. We also talk about… Soul Patch, an unfortunate facial hair choice. How Tipping Works, a complicated issue. How to Get the Girl, the numbers don’t lie. Texas State […]

Maré’s back to discuss adult braces, custom dildos and American Apparel underpants. We also talk about… Kony 2012, a helpful campaign crushed by cynical people? Dave Matthew’s Band, the world’s greatest band? Honey Cocaine, a rap star with adult braces? Make Your Own Dildo, an inappropriate gift for coworkers? Stuff You Should Know, how Scott […]

Scott is joined by the lovely and talented Mika Parades to discuss grandmas, tattoos and Carl Sagan’s infinite blow job theory. We also talk about… Can’t Stop Me From Dreaming, an old Robin Luke song Many-worlds Interpretation, a view of quantum mechanics. Carl Sagan, the smartest man in a turtleneck. Sasha Grey, a talented young […]

We’re back for season two! Or whatever it is we’re calling this… Learn about furniture sex, missing girlfriends and the mysteries of the vagina. We also talk about… Future Thoughts, a Brad Neely cartoon involving couch sex. Chungking Express, before there was Amélie. Jonathan Strange & Mr. Norrell, a magic book that Maré likes. Oliver […]

In the twilight of our teenage years we cover first times, black belts and more. Also, there are poems! We also talk about… Uh Helloooooo, “The Scott Garner Techno Experience” Thinspo, pro-anorexia photos? Dijeridoos, tools to save people from dingos The Vampire Chronicles, sexy vampire books by Anne Rice Fist of Fury, a tough Bruce […]

It’s Episode 18 and Scott doesn’t care what Maré thinks about that. We talk about man melons, semenarche and the complex physics behind mother-in-law attraction. Gender Identity, your heart need not match your parts Semenarche, a blessed event Behind Closed Doors, a song by Charlie Rich

We finally freed Cory! At least for the first 30 seconds of the show. After that, we talk about mom seduction techniques,  tree pervs and all of the people that apparently have sexual fantasies about us. We also talk about… Stuff You Should Know, another favorite podcast Permanent Midnight, a crazy memoir by Jerry Stahl […]

It’s our sweet sixteen and everyone is invited, including anal surprise guy, a time traveler and a magical talking wallet. We also talk about… David Sedaris, an upsettingly warm and funny fellow Radiolab, one of Scott’s favorite things Demolished Chair, a sexy installation by Lan Hungh Love Liza, a sad movie starring P.S.H. Sleep Paralysis, […]

The lovely and talented Elissa Ball joins us for Episode #15. We cover tickling, milkshakes and the most desirable side effects of medication. We also talk about… Conditions Of Love, by John Armstrong Letters to a Young Poet, by Rainer Maria Rilke Existentialism from Dostoevsky to Sartre, by Walter Kaufman A Confession, a book by Leo Tolstoy […]

Our progression through podcast puberty continues with Episode 14. Learn about everything from super crushes to baby Maré’s boner. Also, infinite thanks to Bass Millionaire for the new theme song! We also talk about… Stand by Me, a great movie Different Seasons, a story collection by Stephen King Darkon, a larping documentary One Piece at […]

Somebody’s a teenager! Hear from old friends, new heros and a special guest, the footsteps of Scott’s loud upstairs neighbor. We also talk about… The Mail Scene, from Miracle on 34th Street Hair, a really, really stupid musical 2005 Stanford Commencement Speech, by Steve Jobs The Star-Nosed Mole, how Maré imagines a certain thing Orc […]

Welcome to Episode 12 in which we learn about hot teachers and mean girls and hear Maré confuse a corsage with a corset. We also talk about… A Good Band is Easy to Kill, a documentary about Beulah Don’t Forget to Breathe, Scott’s favorite Beulah song Mare’s Voice, artwork by Sarah O’Donnell Snuff, a novel […]

We’ve made it to 11 and are officially tweens. This week we cover hating friends, fellatio problems, and crushing hard on teachers. We also talk about… 43 Things, a place to list your goals Porn Star: The Legend of Ron Jeremy, a documentary Harold and Maude, a love story Ellen Forney, an enchanting cartoonist Citric […]

Our ten-year anniversary extravaganza! Enjoy secrets about kissing, dirty photos, Dad’s porn collection and the fact that apparently everyone is gay. We also talk about… Independents, a documentary about creating comics Candide, a novel by Voltaire Heartache as a Masterpiece, Scott’s Thesis American Psycho, a novel by Bret Easton Ellis Tim I Wish You Were […]

The fabulous Jen Sembera joins Scott in beautiful Austin, Texas for our first remote podcast. Episode 9 features a myriad of fantastic secrets and terrible, terrible audio quality because Scott didn’t pack a mic. Sorry! We also talk about… Evette, a really rough demo of a ridiculous song by Scott Evilyn Machine, a porn star […]

We’ve somehow managed to make it up to 8 episodes! This time we talk about roommates, porn, sex at school and more! We also talk about… Status Anxiety by Alain de Botton Lolita by Vladimir Nabokov Conditions Of Love by Armstrong John Choke by Chuck Palahniuk Letters to Myself by Scott and Maré

In episode Lucky Seven, we learn about lightsabers, yoghurt, Maré’s love of chocolate cake and so much more.

Cory’s back with an idea for a new hit film starring Emma Watson and Gwen Stefani continues to make sexual advances at Scott. And, of course, there are secrets about everything from trampolines to ugly girlfriends.

Welcome to our non-Valentines, non-extravaganza! Learn about statues, washcloths and the Dutchess of Football. And Dan Nguyen? We’ve got some news for you, mister.

Old friends and new friends alike gather to hear High Hat finally apologize for being a bully and learn about the intricacies of love hiccups. (Sorry about the quality. GarageBand tried to ruin EVERYTHING.)

Breaking records left and right, we’re back with episode three. Featuring the Huxtables, orgasm athletes and the triumphant return of Butter Sprinkles Handjob Guy.

We’re back for Episode 2 with a new batch of secrets that covers everything from sprinkles to pushups.