Political satirist Mark Whitney audits every episode of every American late night show and reports back to you!
Late Nite Last Nite · Bill Maher, Real Time, Samantha Bee, Full Frontal, Colin Jost, Michael Che, Weekend Update, Saturday Night Live, SNL, James Corden, The Late Late Show, Carpool Karaoke • Stephen Colbert, The Late Show, Jimmy Fallon, The Tonight Show, Seth Meyers, Late Night with Seth Meyers, Jimmy Kimmel, Jimmy Kimmel Live, Trevor … Continue reading [Best Of] Admissions Impossible [Complete] · Rick Singer · Felicity Huffman · Lori Loughlin · Olivia Jade →
“LOOK CLOSELY INTO YOUR PHONE · LOOK AT ME · BLONDE HAIR, BLUE EYES AND NOT GUILTY SKIN PIGMENTATION · I HAVE THE RUN OF THE COUNTRY · I CAN ATTEND A TRUMP RALLY WITHOUT FEAR. WHAT FUNDAMENTAL PRINCIPLE OF CIVIC LIFE IS AT STAKE WHEN MARK WHITNEY HAS THE RUN OF THE COUNTRY AND … Continue reading 161 · Neo Nazi Letdown By Trump · Ilhan Omar · Ayanna Pressley · Rashida Talib · AOC →
“Want to know a fun parlor game? Next time you’re chatting it up with your friends at a dinner party, say: “Been talking to my friends. Can’t get a consensus. Maybe you can help,Mary. What should the consequences be for free speech?'” It’s idiot bait. Enjoy! [SCRIPT]
“Open your Bible to the Book Of Episiotomy: Jesus sayeth unto the Fallopians, ‘Let she who is without child worketh two shifts a day with no dental!'” [SCRIPT]
“Nothing unites people who never say: Private companies can do whatever they want” like censorship they agree with. [SCRIPT] Late Nite Last Week · Bill Maher, Real Time, Samantha Bee, Full Frontal, Colin Jost, Michael Che, Weekend Update, Saturday Night Live, SNL, James Corden, The Late Late Show, Carpool Karaoke • Stephen Colbert, The Late … Continue reading 158 • Citizenship Not Censorship · Zuckerberg Cedes Free Speech Mantle To Trump →
“Over the break I turn sixty. Wife says: “From now on I’ll be living with an old guy!” I’m like: “Really? What’s his name?” [SCRIPT] Late Nite Last Week · Bill Maher, Real Time, Samantha Bee, Full Frontal, Colin Jost, Michael Che, Weekend Update, Saturday Night Live, SNL, James Corden, The Late Late Show, Carpool … Continue reading 157 • Did Joe Biden Have A Stroke? · Vir Das · Jay Leno · Lenny Marcus →
“Steve likes meat. Zach likes meat. They like it hot, tender and attached to the bone. They have that entire massacre in common! So, what do they do? They conflate the condiment?” [SCRIPT] Late Nite Last Week · Bill Maher, Real Time, Samantha Bee, Full Frontal, Colin Jost, Michael Che, Weekend Update, Saturday Night Live, … Continue reading 156 • Why Conflate The Condiments? · Ilhan Omar · Pete Buttigieg →
“Joe’s tactile. Trump’s erectile. Maybe that’s a political strategy. I’m tactile. Vote for me because he’s erectile. So, whodaya want, Ladies?” [SCRIPT] Late Nite Last Week · Bill Maher, Real Time, Samantha Bee, Full Frontal, Colin Jost, Michael Che, Weekend Update, Saturday Night Live, SNL, James Corden, The Late Late Show, Carpool Karaoke • Stephen … Continue reading 155 • The Fondler Of Our Country · Joe Biden · Lucy Flores · Bill Burr · Kenny Deforest →
Can the immediate reaction to a failed joke be more predictive of electoral success than the most sophisticated polls? [SCRIPT] Late Nite Last Week · Bill Maher, Real Time, Samantha Bee, Full Frontal, Colin Jost, Michael Che, Weekend Update, Saturday Night Live, SNL, James Corden, The Late Late Show, Carpool Karaoke • Stephen Colbert, The … Continue reading 154 • Avocados & President Pornstar · Tiffany Haddish · Tracy Morgan →
“Not guilty and exonerate are not the same. Jury says ‘not guilty’ you are not exonerated. Sure, you cut your husband’s dick off. But the evidence is, let’s say, razor thin!” [SCRIPT] Late Nite Last Week · Bill Maher, Real Time, Samantha Bee, Full Frontal, Colin Jost, Michael Che, Weekend Update, Saturday Night Live, SNL, … Continue reading 153 • Russian To Judgment And The End Of Mueller Time →
“Imagine being Stormy’s mouthpiece?! Lotta gargling involved.” [SCRIPT] Late Nite Last Week · Bill Maher, Real Time, Samantha Bee, Full Frontal, Colin Jost, Michael Che, Weekend Update, Saturday Night Live, SNL, James Corden, The Late Late Show, Carpool Karaoke • Stephen Colbert, The Late Show, Jimmy Fallon, The Tonight Show, Seth Meyers, Late Night … Continue reading 152 • Pornstar Loses Mouthpiece: The Trials Of Michael Avenatti →
Late Nite Last Nite · Bill Maher, Real Time, Samantha Bee, Full Frontal, Colin Jost, Michael Che, Weekend Update, Saturday Night Live, SNL, James Corden, The Late Late Show, Carpool Karaoke • Stephen Colbert, The Late Show, Jimmy Fallon, The Tonight Show, Seth Meyers, Late Night with Seth Meyers, Jimmy Kimmel, Jimmy Kimmel Live, Trevor … Continue reading 151 • Admissions Impossible [Complete] · Rick Singer · Felicity Huffman · Lori Loughlin · Olivia Jade →
“Is it any wonder these students are hypervigilent when, since the Infant Program, Mom gets a text every time they shit themselves?” [SCRIPT] Late Nite Last Nite · Bill Maher, Real Time, Samantha Bee, Full Frontal, Colin Jost, Michael Che, Weekend Update, Saturday Night Live, SNL, James Corden, The Late Late Show, Carpool Karaoke • … Continue reading 150 • Why Trump/Cohen Stormy Cover-up Is Not A Crime • Admissions Impossible Act 3 · Why Lori Loughlin & Felicity Huffman Are Presumed Guilty →
“A Gap year Kid is a white eighteen year old who travels overseas to visit diversity. Not for a year. For two weeks. Spends the other fifty weeks playing video games and jerking off to midget porn!” [SCRIPT] Late Nite Last Nite · Bill Maher, Real Time, Samantha Bee, Full Frontal, Colin Jost, Michael Che, … Continue reading 149 • Why Trump/Cohen Stormy Cover-up Is Not A Crime · Admissions Impossible Act 2 · John Oliver v Olivia Jade · Lori Laughlin · Martha Stewart →
“Tough raising kids these days. Any idea how hard it is to find a tutor who will launder your bribe?” [SCRIPT] Late Nite Last Nite · Bill Maher, Real Time, Samantha Bee, Full Frontal, Colin Jost, Michael Che, Weekend Update, Saturday Night Live, SNL, James Corden, The Late Late Show, Carpool Karaoke • Stephen Colbert, … Continue reading 148 • Why Trump/Cohen Stormy Cover-up Is Not A CrimeAdmissions Impossible Act 1 · Rick Singer · Felicity Huffman · Lori Loughlin →
“Many committed listeners saying: ‘Where’s the college bribery show, Mark?’ Some things it makes sense to just let it play out a little bit. Whole thing just pisses me off. Spend all this money bribing my kid into USC. Then he shows up to water polo with a horse!” [SCRIPT] Late Nite Last Week · … Continue reading 147 • Why Trump/Cohen Stormy Cover-up Is Not A CrimePresident Pornstar, Jay Leno, SNL, The 1st Amendment & The Duty To Impeach →
“President Rickles is a racist, facist, career criminal owned by Puting who should not be impeached. And another thing: What’s this shit about Carrie Underwood being a pedophile?” [SCRIPT] Late Nite Last Nite · Bill Maher, Real Time, Samantha Bee, Full Frontal, Colin Jost, Michael Che, Weekend Update, Saturday Night Live, SNL, James Corden, The … Continue reading 146 • Why Trump/Cohen Stormy Cover-up Is Not A CrimeFor Pete’s Sake: Davidson & Buttigieg and The Perfect Age →
“The more you call Trump a racist, the better he polls with white people.” [SCRIPT] Late Nite Last Week · Bill Maher, Real Time, Samantha Bee, Full Frontal, Colin Jost, Michael Che, Weekend Update, Saturday Night Live, SNL, James Corden, The Late Late Show, Carpool Karaoke • Stephen Colbert, The Late Show, Jimmy Fallon, The … Continue reading 145 • Why Trump/Cohen Stormy Cover-up Is Not A Crime →
Late Nite Last Nite · Bill Maher, Real Time, Samantha Bee, Full Frontal, Colin Jost, Michael Che, Weekend Update, Saturday Night Live, SNL, James Corden, The Late Late Show, Carpool Karaoke • Stephen Colbert, The Late Show, Jimmy Fallon, The Tonight Show, Seth Meyers, Late Night with Seth Meyers, Jimmy Kimmel, Jimmy Kimmel Live, Trevor … Continue reading 144 • Best Animated Short? Kim Jung Un · American Diversity Council →
Late Nite Last Nite · Bill Maher, Real Time, Samantha Bee, Full Frontal, Colin Jost, Michael Che, Weekend Update, Saturday Night Live, SNL, James Corden, The Late Late Show, Carpool Karaoke • Stephen Colbert, The Late Show, Jimmy Fallon, The Tonight Show, Seth Meyers, Late Night with Seth Meyers, Jimmy Kimmel, Jimmy Kimmel Live, Trevor … Continue reading 143 • #AOC On False Political Choices · Desus & Mero · Mo Amer · Paul Shaffer →
“Ask Hillary: “Bernie stays in ’til the end and does not pull out!” [SCRIPT] Late Nite Last Week · Bill Maher, Real Time, Samantha Bee, Full Frontal, Colin Jost, Michael Che, Weekend Update, Saturday Night Live, SNL, James Corden, The Late Late Show, Carpool Karaoke • Stephen Colbert, The Late Show, Jimmy Fallon, The Tonight … Continue reading 142 • Sanders Tosses His Teeth In The Ring · Kamala Rubio · Late Night Agrees: Sanders Old →
Late Nite Last Nite · Bill Maher, Real Time, Samantha Bee, Full Frontal, Colin Jost, Michael Che, Weekend Update, Saturday Night Live, SNL, James Corden, The Late Late Show, Carpool Karaoke • Stephen Colbert, The Late Show, Jimmy Fallon, The Tonight Show, Seth Meyers, Late Night with Seth Meyers, Jimmy Kimmel, Jimmy Kimmel Live, Trevor … Continue reading 141 • Netfucked: Mo’Nique · Steve Harvey · Dave Chappelle · Colin Kaepernick →
“Harken back to my sons coming of age. Remember telling them: ‘If Microsoft Internet Explorer is brave enough to ask to be your default browser, you can damn well take a breath and ask that girl out!” ~Mark Whitney Late Nite Last Nite · Bill Maher, Real Time, Samantha Bee, Full Frontal, Colin Jost, Michael … Continue reading 140 • Bill & Melinda Gates · Steve Martin Short · Joe List · Richard Kind →
“President Rickles passed his physical. Totally aced the mammogram!” ~Mark Whitney [SCRIPT] Late Nite Last Nite · Bill Maher, Real Time, Samantha Bee, Full Frontal, Colin Jost, Michael Che, Weekend Update, Saturday Night Live, SNL, James Corden, The Late Late Show, Carpool Karaoke • Stephen Colbert, The Late Show, Jimmy Fallon, The Tonight Show, Seth … Continue reading 139 • Trump Physical: President Aces Mammogram →
“It’s Blackface History Month! Or, if you prefer ‘Partial Birth Of A Nation’! Committed listeners know when it comes to abortion, my record is clear: ‘Abortion should be legal until the fetus is eighteen!” ~Mark Whitney [SCRIPT] Late Nite Last Nite · Bill Maher, Real Time, Samantha Bee, Full Frontal, Colin Jost, Michael Che, Weekend … Continue reading 138 • Blackface History Month · Partial Birth Of A Nation · Killing Tom Brady →
“Conan Christopher O’Brien. Easy guy for me to relate to. Fellow fifty-something. Born in New England. Former altar boy turned recovering Irish Catholic and podcaster. My understanding is that like me, Conan still reads the bible for the laughs. Take Matthew Chapter 22 Verse 39: ‘Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself.’ So, I gotta’ … Continue reading 137 • Certified Black Weed · Viola Davis · Ellen Page · Rosie O’Donnell · Killer Mike · Bill de Blasio →
“Christie’s experience as a presidential candidate in 2016 foreshadows what I believe we’re going to see this year with Sanders. Look for Sanders to announce in front of a crowd of fifty to a hundred thousand people, thereby imposing the same dilemma faced by monied Republican insiders when the populist outsider secures an early lead.” ~Mark … Continue reading 136 • Christie On Trump Campaign: “Whole thing was a joke.” · Nation’s Coldspot? The Ed Sullivan Theatre →
“That’s right! Howard Schultz is running as an independent. Said Schultz: “I am not a Republican. Not a Democrat. I’m half-n-half.” ~Mark Whitney [SCRIPT]Late Nite Last Nite · Bill Maher, Real Time, Samantha Bee, Full Frontal, Colin Jost, Michael Che, Weekend Update, Saturday Night Live, SNL, James Corden, The Late Late Show, Carpool Karaoke • … Continue reading 135 • Howard Schultz Roast: Better Latte Than Never →
“Government of course is re-opened for bribery. Cloak room fully stocked with Vaseline, Crisco and KY, for when the lobbyists pop by for a filibuster. That’s what they call it. Filibuster. Latin for handjob!” [SCRIPT] Late Nite Last Week · Bill Maher, Real Time, Samantha Bee, Full Frontal, Colin Jost, Michael Che, Weekend Update, Saturday … Continue reading 134 • New Deal Or No Deal: #AOC On The Morality Of Billionaires · Kamala Harris Is Marco Rubio · Government Open For Bribery →
AMERICAN HUMORIST ERMA BOMBECK WRITES: “ANY MAN WATCHES THREE FOOTBALL GAMES IN A ROW SHOULD BE DECLARED DEAD.” [SCRIPT Late Nite Last Nite · Bill Maher, Real Time, Samantha Bee, Full Frontal, Colin Jost, Michael Che, Weekend Update, Saturday Night Live, SNL, James Corden, The Late Late Show, Carpool Karaoke • Stephen Colbert, The Late … Continue reading 133 • Trump’s White House: Home Of The Whopper! · Note To Gillibrand: Stop Wasting Our Time →
“If people are going to be offended by ten year old tweets, I am going back to telling retard jokes · beginning with people who are offended by ten year old tweets.” Late Nite Last Week · Bill Maher, Real Time, Samantha Bee, Full Frontal, Colin Jost, Michael Che, Weekend Update, Saturday Night Live, SNL, … Continue reading 132 • Kevin Hart Transcends “The Community” →
Late Nite Last Nite · Bill Maher, Real Time, Samantha Bee, Full Frontal, Colin Jost, Michael Che, Weekend Update, Saturday Night Live, SNL, James Corden, The Late Late Show, Carpool Karaoke • Stephen Colbert, The Late Show, Jimmy Fallon, The Tonight Show, Seth Meyers, Late Night with Seth Meyers, Jimmy Kimmel, Jimmy Kimmel Live, Trevor … Continue reading 131 • The Wall Joke: Democrats Bring Facts To A Comedy Show →
Late Nite Last Nite · Bill Maher, Real Time, Samantha Bee, Full Frontal, Colin Jost, Michael Che, Weekend Update, Saturday Night Live, SNL, James Corden, The Late Late Show, Carpool Karaoke • Stephen Colbert, The Late Show, Jimmy Fallon, The Tonight Show, Seth Meyers, Late Night with Seth Meyers, Jimmy Kimmel, Jimmy Kimmel Live, Trevor … Continue reading 130 • Killing The Old Machine: Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez · Ethan Hawke →
Categories, Nominees & Results Stand-up Of The Year Nominees: Sean Donnelly, Sam Morrell, Mark Normand, Aparma Nancheria, Michael Palascak (winner), Kiry Shabazz Interview Of The Year Nominees: Drew Barrymore, Lady Gaga (winner), Nikki Minaj Guest Of The Year With A Penis Nominees: Kevin Nealon (winner), Seth Rogan, Tom Segura Guest Of The Year With A … Continue reading 129 • 2018 Sis Boom Baa Late Night Comedy Awards · Joke Of The Year →
Late Nite Last Week · Bill Maher, Real Time, Samantha Bee, Full Frontal, Colin Jost, Michael Che, Weekend Update, Saturday Night Live, SNL, James Corden, The Late Late Show, Carpool Karaoke • Stephen Colbert, The Late Show, Jimmy Fallon, The Tonight Show, Seth Meyers, Late Night with Seth Meyers, Jimmy Kimmel, Jimmy Kimmel Live, Trevor … Continue reading 128 • Regrifting: Trump’s March Of Crimes →
Late Nite Last Week · Bill Maher, Real Time, Samantha Bee, Full Frontal, Colin Jost, Michael Che, Weekend Update, Saturday Night Live, SNL, James Corden, The Late Late Show, Carpool Karaoke • Stephen Colbert, The Late Show, Jimmy Fallon, The Tonight Show, Seth Meyers, Late Night with Seth Meyers, Jimmy Kimmel, Jimmy Kimmel Live, Trevor … Continue reading 127 • Kevin Hart and Princeton’s Tigertones Self-Censor · ADL Awards Tim Cook For Censorship →
Late Nite Last Nite · Bill Maher, Real Time, Samantha Bee, Full Frontal, Colin Jost, Michael Che, Weekend Update, Saturday Night Live, SNL, James Corden, The Late Late Show, Carpool Karaoke • Stephen Colbert, The Late Show, Jimmy Fallon, The Tonight Show, Seth Meyers, Late Night with Seth Meyers, Jimmy Kimmel, Jimmy Kimmel Live, Trevor … Continue reading 126 • Sorkin’s Mockingbird: Can America Grow Into Its Face? →
Late Nite Last Nite · Bill Maher, Real Time, Samantha Bee, Full Frontal, Colin Jost, Michael Che, Weekend Update, Saturday Night Live, SNL, James Corden, The Late Late Show, Carpool Karaoke • Stephen Colbert, The Late Show, Jimmy Fallon, The Tonight Show, Seth Meyers, Late Night with Seth Meyers, Jimmy Kimmel, Jimmy Kimmel Live, Trevor … Continue reading 125 • “The McSupial” →
Late Nite Last Nite · Bill Maher, Real Time, Samantha Bee, Full Frontal, Colin Jost, Michael Che, Weekend Update, Saturday Night Live, SNL, James Corden, The Late Late Show, Carpool Karaoke • Stephen Colbert, The Late Show, Jimmy Fallon, The Tonight Show, Seth Meyers, Late Night with Seth Meyers, Jimmy Kimmel, Jimmy Kimmel Live, Trevor … Continue reading 124 • Dolly/Aniston Threeway? →
Late Nite Last Week · Bill Maher, Real Time, Samantha Bee, Full Frontal, Colin Jost, Michael Che, Weekend Update, Saturday Night Live, SNL, James Corden, The Late Late Show, Carpool Karaoke • Stephen Colbert, The Late Show, Jimmy Fallon, The Tonight Show, Seth Meyers, Late Night with Seth Meyers, Jimmy Kimmel, Jimmy Kimmel Live, Trevor … Continue reading 123 • A Pardon Model For Trump By H.W. Bush →
Late Nite Last Nite · Bill Maher, Real Time, Samantha Bee, Full Frontal, Colin Jost, Michael Che, Weekend Update, Saturday Night Live, SNL, James Corden, The Late Late Show, Carpool Karaoke • Stephen Colbert, The Late Show, Jimmy Fallon, The Tonight Show, Seth Meyers, Late Night with Seth Meyers, Jimmy Kimmel, Jimmy Kimmel Live, Trevor … Continue reading 122 • ·Julia Louis Dreyfuss Takes 2018 Mark Twain Prize →
Late Nite Last Nite · Bill Maher, Real Time, Samantha Bee, Full Frontal, Colin Jost, Michael Che, Weekend Update, Saturday Night Live, SNL, James Corden, The Late Late Show, Carpool Karaoke • Stephen Colbert, The Late Show, Jimmy Fallon, The Tonight Show, Seth Meyers, Late Night with Seth Meyers, Jimmy Kimmel, Jimmy Kimmel Live, Trevor … Continue reading 121 • “Cunch!!!” · Phoebe Robinson · Two Dope Girls →
Late Nite Last Week · Bill Maher, Real Time, Samantha Bee, Full Frontal, Colin Jost, Michael Che, Weekend Update, Saturday Night Live, SNL, James Corden, The Late Late Show, Carpool Karaoke • Stephen Colbert, The Late Show, Jimmy Fallon, The Tonight Show, Seth Meyers, Late Night with Seth Meyers, Jimmy Kimmel, Jimmy Kimmel Live, Trevor … Continue reading 120 • Rakish Trump Crosses The Finnish Line →
Late Nite Last Nite · Bill Maher, Real Time, Samantha Bee, Full Frontal, Colin Jost, Michael Che, Weekend Update, Saturday Night Live, SNL, James Corden, The Late Late Show, Carpool Karaoke • Stephen Colbert, The Late Show, Jimmy Fallon, The Tonight Show, Seth Meyers, Late Night with Seth Meyers, Jimmy Kimmel, Jimmy Kimmel Live, Trevor … Continue reading 119 • Mary Poppins: How Disney Sells Disney · Emily Blunt →
Late Nite Last Nite · Bill Maher, Real Time, Samantha Bee, Full Frontal, Colin Jost, Michael Che, Weekend Update, Saturday Night Live, SNL, James Corden, The Late Late Show, Carpool Karaoke • Stephen Colbert, The Late Show, Jimmy Fallon, The Tonight Show, Seth Meyers, Late Night with Seth Meyers, Jimmy Kimmel, Jimmy Kimmel Live, Trevor … Continue reading 118 • The Barefoot Executive · Kurt Russell · Dick Cavett · Demetri Martin →
Late Nite Last Week · Bill Maher, Real Time, Samantha Bee, Full Frontal, Colin Jost, Michael Che, Weekend Update, Saturday Night Live, SNL, James Corden, The Late Late Show, Carpool Karaoke • Stephen Colbert, The Late Show, Jimmy Fallon, The Tonight Show, Seth Meyers, Late Night with Seth Meyers, Jimmy Kimmel, Jimmy Kimmel Live, Trevor … Continue reading 117 • Beat The Press • Jim Acosta • Bob Woodward • Pete Davidson →
Late Nite Last Nite · Bill Maher, Real Time, Samantha Bee, Full Frontal, Colin Jost, Michael Che, Weekend Update, Saturday Night Live, SNL, James Corden, The Late Late Show, Carpool Karaoke • Stephen Colbert, The Late Show, Jimmy Fallon, The Tonight Show, Seth Meyers, Late Night with Seth Meyers, Jimmy Kimmel, Jimmy Kimmel Live, Trevor … Continue reading 116 • Jeff Sessions Out! And Just In Time For Elf Season! →
Late Nite Last Nite · Bill Maher, Real Time, Samantha Bee, Full Frontal, Colin Jost, Michael Che, Weekend Update, Saturday Night Live, SNL, James Corden, The Late Late Show, Carpool Karaoke • Stephen Colbert, The Late Show, Jimmy Fallon, The Tonight Show, Seth Meyers, Late Night with Seth Meyers, Jimmy Kimmel, Jimmy Kimmel Live, Trevor … Continue reading 115 • Red, Blue & Orange • Sacha Baron Cohen →
Late Nite Last Week · Bill Maher, Real Time, Samantha Bee, Full Frontal, Colin Jost, Michael Che, Weekend Update, Saturday Night Live, SNL, James Corden, The Late Late Show, Carpool Karaoke • Stephen Colbert, The Late Show, Jimmy Fallon, The Tonight Show, Seth Meyers, Late Night with Seth Meyers, Jimmy Kimmel, Jimmy Kimmel Live, Trevor … Continue reading 114 • Voice Your Choice · Dave Chappelle · Pete Davidson →
Late Nite Last Week · Bill Maher, Real Time, Samantha Bee, Full Frontal, Colin Jost, Michael Che, Weekend Update, Saturday Night Live, SNL, James Corden, The Late Late Show, Carpool Karaoke • Stephen Colbert, The Late Show, Jimmy Fallon, The Tonight Show, Seth Meyers, Late Night with Seth Meyers, Jimmy Kimmel, Jimmy Kimmel Live, Trevor … Continue reading 113 • “Stacey? This Is Oprah!” →