Podcast appearances and mentions of Jimmy Fallon

Play Episode Listen Later Jul 20, 2025 57:50

CARL COX curses BLŨ out in an extreme show of brilliantly vile COCKNEY FASHION. CARL COX [unintelligible cockney] BLŪ I have no idea what you just said, or why you're yelling at me! CARL COX (Sarcastically) Well how's this—? “Ello, poppet!” In THE DJ storyline )which is technically storyline a, we've just discovered DJ DILLON FRANCIS used BLU — (originally CC) as a sort of horcrux for his darkest magical intentions. Now the DJS are in a rush to extract this device before time runs out. Wtf did Dillon Francis do? YO HE LITERALLY MADE HER INTO A POPPIT. What the fuck is a poppit. It's like a little fuckin— thing— witches use to store magical energy and when the spell is over you're supposed to destroy them— but he DIDNT and it came to life and it merged with CC! Yooooooo! Who is now blu Tha Gürū, because Chak Chel dissappeared— or sort of dissappeared— to aide in the magical assasination of Let me guess— No don't guess, you could ruin it. What. Don't literally ruin it. The show exists in a multiversial construct which means anything you say, or think, or guess could unintentionally alter the plot, and skew it into an array of infinitely possible dimensions! Oh no! But I already thought! Shh! No you didn't! Just replace those thoughts— with better ones z— I don't have any better thoughts! Well, make some up. Uh— ok! Shh, it's coming back on this is where it gets intense. I thought you've never seen this before I know! But I know it gets intense! Well, how do you know that?! BECAUSE I KNOW THAT ALREADY. {Enter The Multiverse} ENTER THE MULTIVERSE is getting intense. BLŪ WHAT. NO ITS NOT! I can't take it I just can't take it I just can't take it no more I just can't n THE SKY IS FALLING! WHY?' I don't know. Seems pretty intense though, doesn't it. FUCK YOUUUUUU DEADMAU55555555! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA!! I am DEADMAU— *powers down* Ah, fuck. KATT WILLIAMS is coaching the NBC GAMES. KATT WILLIAMS Alright, b-ball time! Shirts! Versus skins! you can be skins, Jimmy Fallon. *winks* Ew. She's so fucking gross. I don't get it. Uh— what? No I can't. I'm wearing a suit. I'm sure it's fused to my skin, or something. (This is actually the VICE AGENT version of the dude, who is wired head to toe. If he takes his shirt off, it will blow his cover.) SKINS. Fuck. L E G E N D S HE DUPED YOU! I BELIEVE THAT! He's good at everything! Especially things like that! WE'LL KILL HIM! NO ONE CAN KILL HIM. HE IS IMMORTAL. –doesn't mean we can't try. *dramatic music* [beat] WHAT?! I SAID– I CAN'T HEAR YOU, THERE'S A HELLICOPTER LEVITATING DIRECTLY OVER US! I KNOW! THAT'S WHY I WAS YELLING TOO, IT'S JUST– [Suddenly they realize, it is the he of who they speak hovering in the helicopter.] *GASP* DOn'T. {it's too late. He unloads a clip from an automatic rifle] THOSE ARE BANNED IN EUROPE. YOU COULD HAVE FOOLED ME! I KNOW I COULD HAVE! BECAUSE YOU ARE QUITE OBVIOUSLY EASILY FOOLED! ENOUGH. The helicopter scoops down and unrolls a ladder. W–wait! ARE YOU GETTING IN THE HELLICOPTER WITH HIM?! (dramatically) It appears so. WHAT. YES! YES I AM GETTING INTO THE HELLICOPTER. ARE YOU GONNA SHOOT AT ME *confused* *shurgs* (he gives up) ..of course not. Well then, I believe it is YOU that has been duped. WHAT!??!? GOOD DAY, SIR. Lil Bitz They really nominated Stephen Colbert for an Emmy, and then fired him the next day. What on Earth. What did you do at the party, bro? Be honest! They literally we're like, Wednesday: You're nominated for an Emmy award! Thursday: You're cancelled! Cancelled, bro. How do you cancel the late show? That was David Letterman. The whole point of a show like that is so it goes on forever! Nope, cancelled! Daaaamn. You better win that Emmy now, bruh. {Enter The Multiverse} HOW THE FUCK DID WAYNE BRADY GET IN HERE! I dont know how Wayne Brady got in here! Keep an eye on him. I heard he's polyscientific in his sexual proclivities. Oh. Okay then. L E G E N D S CARL COX curses BLŨ out in an extreme show of brilliantly vile COCKNEY FASHION. CARL COX [unintelligible cockney] BLŪ I have no idea what you just said, or why you're yelling at me! CARL COX (Sarcastically) Well how's this—? “Ello, poppet!” In THE DJ storyline )which is technically storyline a, we've just discovered DJ DILLON FRANCIS used BLU — (originally CC) as a sort of horcrux for his darkest magical intentions. Now the DJS are in a rush to extract this device before time runs out. Wtf did Dillon Francis do? YO HE LITERALLY MADE HER INTO A POPPIT. What the fuck is a poppit. It's like a little fuckin— thing— witches use to store magical energy and when the spell is over you're supposed to destroy them— but he DIDNT and it came to life and it merged with CC! Yooooooo! Who is now Blū Tha Gürū, because Chak Chel disappeared— or sort of disappeared— to aide in the magical assasination of Let me guess— No don't guess, you could ruin it. What. Don't literally ruin it. The show exists in a multiversial construct which means anything you say, or think, or guess could unintentionally alter the plot, and skew it into an array of infinitely possible dimensions! Oh no! But I already thought! Shh! No you didn't! Just replace those thoughts— with better ones z— I don't have any better thoughts! Well, make some up! Uh— ok! Shh, it's coming back on: this is where it gets intense. I thought you've never seen this before I know! But I know it gets intense! Well, how do you know that?! BECAUSE I KNOW THAT ALREADY. {Enter The Multiverse} ENTER THE MULTIVERSE is getting intense. BLŪ WHAT. NO ITS NOT! I can't take it I just can't take it I just can't take it no more I just can't n THE SKY IS FALLING! WHY?' I don't know. Seems pretty intense though, doesn't it. FUCK YOUUUUUU DEADMAU55555555! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA!! I am DEADMAU— *powers down* Ah, fuck. {Enter The Multiverse} ICONS KATT WILLIAMS is coaching the NBC GAMES. KATT WILLIAMS Alright, b-ball time! Shirts! Versus skins! …you can be skins, Jimmy Fallon. *winks* Ew. She's so fucking gross. I don't get it. Uh— what? No I can't. I'm wearing a suit. I'm sure it's fused to my skin, or something. (This is actually the VICE AGENT version of the dude, who is wired head to toe. If he takes his shirt off, it will blow his cover.) SKINS. Fuck. L E G E N D S HE DUPED YOU! I BELIEVE THAT! He's good at everything! Especially things like that! WE'LL KILL HIM! NO ONE CAN KILL HIM. HE IS IMMORTAL. –doesn't mean we can't try. *dramatic music* [beat] WHAT?! I SAID– I CAN'T HEAR YOU, THERE'S A HELLICOPTER LEVITATING DIRECTLY OVER US! I KNOW! THAT'S WHY I WAS YELLING TOO, IT'S JUST– [Suddenly they realize, it is the he of who they speak hovering in the helicopter.] *GASP* DOn'T. {it's too late. He unloads a clip from an automatic rifle] THOSE ARE BANNED IN EUROPE. YOU COULD HAVE FOOLED ME! I KNOW I COULD HAVE! BECAUSE YOU ARE QUITE OBVIOUSLY EASILY FOOLED! ENOUGH. The helicopter scoops down and unrolls a ladder. W–wait! ARE YOU GETTING IN THE HELLICOPTER WITH HIM?! (dramatically) It appears so. WHAT. YES! YES I AM GETTING INTO THE HELLICOPTER. ARE YOU GONNA SHOOT AT ME? *confused* *shurgs* (he gives up) ..of course not. Well then, I believe it is YOU that has been duped. WHAT!??!? GOOD DAY, SIR. Lil Bitz They really nominated Stephen Colbert for an Emmy, and then fired him the next day. What on Earth. What did you do at the party, bro? Be honest! They literally we're like, Wednesday: You're nominated for an Emmy award! Thursday: You're cancelled! Cancelled, bro. How do you cancel the late show? That was David Letterman. The whole point of a show like that is so it goes on forever! Nope, cancelled! Daaaamn. You better win that Emmy now, bruh. {Enter The Multiverse} Look at the pale ass people who can afford this place— I'm probably not even allowed there With much dishonor and bad distaste- You'd better stop coming around there If I spend my time out buying your price Mercy to the highest bidder You can call me anything you'd like But just don't call me a quitter If it's talk you want, I've got all the words For a stake, I'll buy you dinner In my house of hands, I've got all nine cards Hey Mary, your husband's a sinner I play all nine holes I lived all nine lives I spend all night In the The Panorama Room Smoke a parliament, parliament I just haven't the heart (The heart) To tell her You were part of it (Part of it) But I just sat down To write my love a letter When you know it's over (You know it's over) But you know you can't Forget her When you know it's over (You know it's over) But you also know That you just can't Forgive her And I just sat down And I just sat down And I just sat down To write my love a letter I write all my best lines In The Panorama Room And I'm back on prime time tonight But it's just lights out If I get back now I just might be up by noon But if I pass out In the town car I went that far As to turn back out For an hour, or a barback Oh wow, I — Look at the time Have a long night out I just lost my life At The Panorama Room It wasn't exactly the phantom But it just might have been Patrick And just like that, I need a back rub And a ballroom gown And an hour of heart talk But I just don't want all that, God I just gotta keep talking Outback from one But what's after all out? I'm no longer lost, I just wanna know How far till the next exit? When's wind a kite to fall back on? How many faxes till it makes sense? Cause it ain't been ten days yet, But I faked maybe seven or eight It is dangerous! A high stakes game, nothing makes sense Till just the end, then it hates to— Just rolls over, the next day raises And all you know is a tunnel And the smoke rising up from the long tail And really no hope goes there at all, But the words to a song And then they cut the lights off It is over; You don't know her, You can't love her— You can't move here, And there's no home sprung out of Hollywood; It was all a hoax, It was all just marxists, And now you really all are on your last dollar to spend, because in the end, truth is currency and we inTelevision really ain't in the business of truth in media; The honesty is honestly just as lost as you and I all are and yet— as proposed, We really are not as one, but so separate that it's possible, your stardust, and my horcruxes Are not that foreign to one another in terms of matter, but fall on us as gospels of one world to a whole other. You know that? It really has been a long drunk drive up the 101 in this classic car with the bucket seats and honest, I'm dying in the intertwined and reading these radio waves just as any old controller, but who knows really when it goes into the ocean, Seemingly out of control, But just turns back to shore, Such as a surfboard. — Seth Rogen. No, no dust— keep moving— It's just sandy beaches and trouble warring No, not now, keep off us— If trouble waves and shadows park this car, A storm is coming. And we were off to shore in the blue classic car, U-turned into her shore like a surfboard on the water. Don't ever do that again. I won't bother. You said “off road.” I didn't know that meant ocean. No, it doesn't go in the ocean. I spoke too soon. {Enter The Multiverse} Do you want me to die, Or bury your love like a secret ther I betray you, And portray you here in such a way as are kings and god, but of ruthless man, you are no honor or, or— worthy of such prize, as I, you ponder? Death seeks you and slowly surely is approaching and is as upon us the dog that barks and the wind that calls and the kiss that waits not as dusk but morning light, and do our calls upon us. And wait you then, these things I have here in my gate, and the knowing of the tide that does not moon, put sorrow? Like a lake it is thus ruined and by my time passed and even ye you, there hath it been not told, as told before the earth will shake with envy, and with pity, and with bore her such pride as slain thy son?! No! You do not any but gasp in these, my words as so you wore but tattered clothes as truths to these, no in mine wealth of heart and rich of soul, yet these bearing little truths have sown our end I wait Here slithers here the snake for singing crickets followed thy sound and thy voice to betray you; And thee I harp as though not to wait my tongue, my pride has pondered on this moment. O, I know and shall to thee my praying the honor of know not I that seek in weighing many days upon us; And though ye as many embark in flight and make my way and wonder where is but here the road to such a comet. Oh shit, he's asking about the other planet. Thank you. Yeah I— There's absolutely no chance in making it. It, by all standard and concept in the construct of time, is not possible. Your kind will be washed and diminished, and our time has come to again rule over our, to she whom you call “Earth”, not as our home, but as our daughter. You have known wise to honor her, our coming. Like omg what the fuck does this have to do with Jimmy Fallon. right. L E G E N D S: ICONS I guess it came through. Yeah, you're right. Yeah. CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR EMMY. Uhh… Thanks? I uh— we didn't win yet. Not with that attitude. Huh. Look at that. I guess you're right! [beat] —but wait, who are you up against? [The Festival Project ™] This is intense. Yeah, I'll say it is… We gotta get to the other side of that portal. I don't think we should be making any— — we should go through the portal—! —plans very seriously— and honestly I'm thinking— Or maybe— you stay here, and I'll go through the portal, and you tell me if you can hear anything once I make it to the other side! I don't know if that…works. What? Why not dude? It'll be great— Cause I don't know anything about portals, and honestly— —I'm thinking— I just want to make it past the Emmy's so I can get laid again—like really laid— I've been… paying… for it. —you want to skip going through a portal so you can get laid? By a decent— and by decent I mean free— lady who just happens to be single and in attendance of the Emmy's or any of the after parties— yes, actually! Yes! No! We have to go through this portal to see what's actually on the other side! I don't have to do anything! No, you don't have to do anything— because I'm going through the portal, and you're just—staying and making sure you tell me if you can hear me! I don't think it's that easy actually! But you don't know until you try. I'm not trying. You're trying. And I'm letting you because you're pressuring me! Shut up. You're starting to sound like one of my interns. If I was one of your interns I would be quitting, and hash tagging you already. If you were one of my interns you wouldn't be paying for company. What's that supposed to mean? Just—- {Enter the multiverse} Stop. What if all whores are just bored workers And all escorts personal massagers— What if all message boards are mating calls And all honor rolls are leader boards, And all board rooms are horse drawn carriages For faraway battlefields, What if nothing I offer even comes close To the dollar value of your most cherished call girl And what if anything I know about her Doesn't conform to my idea of a comfort zone? What if the anxiety you're eyeing me and getting high behind me with is just designed to bind my mind enlightening the lightning strike dividing my entirety? What if I want to know you know my known worth without words or surfaces? What if all I don't know is all of my whole world, And just the dollop of a thought could push you off the wall to fall from the top of the Rockerfeller plaza into art upon the crosswalk? What if I could touch that cross, and walk with the palm of the sword stretched out like a… What were you saying? I don't know something about the handle of a sword turning into another object? What if I could hypothesis not one, but all the conundrums in one stroke of nonsense? Stop already? For what. I was told I could have been bought and sold Had I dressed the part To drive off in the pretty corvette But how dare I not Look just as hard earned As her for dollar signs Although Somebody bought her all of that? What if all you are is just bullets in the gun And a wound for my brain And a heart to heal Without home or a umbrella As the rain comes down so hard It sends whole homes floating? What if all the remarks in my smart ass couldn't call you up in the form of laughter? How about that one? How does your back ache? How was your hour glass. Much much Longer And Harder Than An hour. How I broke my spell? I just shook her hands. I just put my tail In between my legs And departure Marks the time of Our new travel archive But With just the dust of lust From dusk till dawn The one you wanted Climbs upon the forest In another song Or story What you— One, Two, Three dice— The riddle Four, five, Six mice, the honor Six, seven— Someone's disrespected; Lessons! Eight, nine— Oh my, Someone's right behind us. Nor can I stop writing or whining about my desires, and deadlines coming up and signing off, but I'm still crying. So I never sold my sole, And yet, The light from it was stolen; Slamming doors and hard earned apartments, Multipliers and real bad liars And one liners And one sells signed autographed autobiographies Now how about that for a rabbit hole, Seth Meyers? You should work harder on your crossovers Then again, the rule of thumb is to just Put them all on the old drum code And it's just no fun If it's not on suicide watch Don't bother I don't brother, But I learned to love her. You know? Silly little game, this inconsiderate confusion, wind washed galleyways and fisherman to put you under, Degrading you very awaking for the patrons, faking it— No things haven't made sense since you ate it With which way Is the birthday cake? Mistakes the Ace as Satan Lately, anything don't matter but that's a laugh Still no dollar though, no Don't call her out— she just wants courage And witness to slaughter Hers the very lamb of truth And mother's daughter. Put your art to work, This is not a war, it's a fairway And it and your worth, It's a fair game It ain't make sense Till you get 8-6 out a bar that you own Under A. An Alias, B. Under the Name of an Accomplice or otherwise trustworthy partner to which not you call love, but perhaps a co-owner. (Or co-author.) Remember the time now? A shit. I gotta run. Where to? I don't know yet. Grey suit. The whispers of a game Blue tie White stripes Red lips, One aim and he doesn't think twice One name and he doesn't give once Two trips to the hallway, One gun in the holster, One bullet in the chamber, And one number you thought of. Four? …yes. I've got a secret, a dirty little secret. The Rock and The Kite XI {Enter The Multiverse} Copyright The Collective Complex © [The Festival Project, Inc. ™] © 2025 All Rights Reserved -Ū.

THE COLLECTIVE COMPLEX CANVAS SERIES MIX 01

Play Episode Listen Later Jul 20, 2025 36:16

The Collective Complex Foundation Art Series Mixes 001. CARL COX curses BLŨ out in an extreme show of brilliantly vile COCKNEY FASHION. CARL COX [unintelligible cockney] BLŪ I have no idea what you just said, or why you're yelling at me! CARL COX (Sarcastically) Well how's this—? “Ello, poppet!” In THE DJ storyline )which is technically storyline a, we've just discovered DJ DILLON FRANCIS used BLU — (originally CC) as a sort of horcrux for his darkest magical intentions. Now the DJS are in a rush to extract this device before time runs out. Wtf did Dillon Francis do? YO HE LITERALLY MADE HER INTO A POPPIT. What the fuck is a poppit. It's like a little fuckin— thing— witches use to store magical energy and when the spell is over you're supposed to destroy them— but he DIDNT and it came to life and it merged with CC! Yooooooo! Who is now blu Tha Gürū, because Chak Chel dissappeared— or sort of dissappeared— to aide in the magical assasination of Let me guess— No don't guess, you could ruin it. What. Don't literally ruin it. The show exists in a multiversial construct which means anything you say, or think, or guess could unintentionally alter the plot, and skew it into an array of infinitely possible dimensions! Oh no! But I already thought! Shh! No you didn't! Just replace those thoughts— with better ones z— I don't have any better thoughts! Well, make some up. Uh— ok! Shh, it's coming back on this is where it gets intense. I thought you've never seen this before I know! But I know it gets intense! Well, how do you know that?! BECAUSE I KNOW THAT ALREADY. {Enter The Multiverse} ENTER THE MULTIVERSE is getting intense. BLŪ WHAT. NO ITS NOT! I can't take it I just can't take it I just can't take it no more I just can't n THE SKY IS FALLING! WHY?' I don't know. Seems pretty intense though, doesn't it. FUCK YOUUUUUU DEADMAU55555555! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA!! I am DEADMAU— *powers down* Ah, fuck. KATT WILLIAMS is coaching the NBC GAMES. KATT WILLIAMS Alright, b-ball time! Shirts! Versus skins! you can be skins, Jimmy Fallon. *winks* Ew. She's so fucking gross. I don't get it. Uh— what? No I can't. I'm wearing a suit. I'm sure it's fused to my skin, or something. (This is actually the VICE AGENT version of the dude, who is wired head to toe. If he takes his shirt off, it will blow his cover.) SKINS. Fuck. L E G E N D S HE DUPED YOU! I BELIEVE THAT! He's good at everything! Especially things like that! WE'LL KILL HIM! NO ONE CAN KILL HIM. HE IS IMMORTAL. –doesn't mean we can't try. *dramatic music* [beat] WHAT?! I SAID– I CAN'T HEAR YOU, THERE'S A HELLICOPTER LEVITATING DIRECTLY OVER US! I KNOW! THAT'S WHY I WAS YELLING TOO, IT'S JUST– [Suddenly they realize, it is the he of who they speak hovering in the helicopter.] *GASP* DOn'T. {it's too late. He unloads a clip from an automatic rifle] THOSE ARE BANNED IN EUROPE. YOU COULD HAVE FOOLED ME! I KNOW I COULD HAVE! BECAUSE YOU ARE QUITE OBVIOUSLY EASILY FOOLED! ENOUGH. The helicopter scoops down and unrolls a ladder. W–wait! ARE YOU GETTING IN THE HELLICOPTER WITH HIM?! (dramatically) It appears so. WHAT. YES! YES I AM GETTING INTO THE HELLICOPTER. ARE YOU GONNA SHOOT AT ME *confused* *shurgs* (he gives up) ..of course not. Well then, I believe it is YOU that has been duped. WHAT!??!? GOOD DAY, SIR. They really nominated Stephen Colbert for an Emmy, and then fired him the next day. What on Earth. What did you do at the party, bro? Be honest! They literally we're like, Wednesday: You're nominated for an Emmy award! Thursday: You're cancelled! Cancelled, bro. How do you cancel the late show? That was David Letterman. The whole point of a show like that is so it goes on forever! Nope, cancelled! Daaaamn. You better win that Emmy now, bruh. {Enter The Multiverse} Copyright The Collective Complex © [The Festival Project, Inc. ™] © 2025 All Rights Reserved -Ū. HOW THE FUCK DID WAYNE BRADY GET IN HERE! I dont know how Wayne Brady got in here! Keep an eye on him. I heard he's polyscientific in his sexual proclivities. Oh. Okay then.

earth collective complex fuck wtf cancelled djs cc shirts david letterman sir jimmy fallon blu good day stephen colbert versus skins katt williams ew ello carl cox dillon francis wayne brady shh deadmau canvas series

THE COMPLEX COLLECTIVE CANVAS SERIES #01

Play Episode Listen Later Jul 20, 2025 36:16

The Collective Complex Foundation Art Series Mixes 001. CARL COX curses BLŨ out in an extreme show of brilliantly vile COCKNEY FASHION. CARL COX [unintelligible cockney] BLŪ I have no idea what you just said, or why you're yelling at me! CARL COX (Sarcastically) Well how's this—? “Ello, poppet!” In THE DJ storyline )which is technically storyline a, we've just discovered DJ DILLON FRANCIS used BLU — (originally CC) as a sort of horcrux for his darkest magical intentions. Now the DJS are in a rush to extract this device before time runs out. Wtf did Dillon Francis do? YO HE LITERALLY MADE HER INTO A POPPIT. What the fuck is a poppit. It's like a little fuckin— thing— witches use to store magical energy and when the spell is over you're supposed to destroy them— but he DIDNT and it came to life and it merged with CC! Yooooooo! Who is now blu Tha Gürū, because Chak Chel dissappeared— or sort of dissappeared— to aide in the magical assasination of Let me guess— No don't guess, you could ruin it. What. Don't literally ruin it. The show exists in a multiversial construct which means anything you say, or think, or guess could unintentionally alter the plot, and skew it into an array of infinitely possible dimensions! Oh no! But I already thought! Shh! No you didn't! Just replace those thoughts— with better ones z— I don't have any better thoughts! Well, make some up. Uh— ok! Shh, it's coming back on this is where it gets intense. I thought you've never seen this before I know! But I know it gets intense! Well, how do you know that?! BECAUSE I KNOW THAT ALREADY. {Enter The Multiverse} ENTER THE MULTIVERSE is getting intense. BLŪ WHAT. NO ITS NOT! I can't take it I just can't take it I just can't take it no more I just can't n THE SKY IS FALLING! WHY?' I don't know. Seems pretty intense though, doesn't it. FUCK YOUUUUUU DEADMAU55555555! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA!! I am DEADMAU— *powers down* Ah, fuck. KATT WILLIAMS is coaching the NBC GAMES. KATT WILLIAMS Alright, b-ball time! Shirts! Versus skins! you can be skins, Jimmy Fallon. *winks* Ew. She's so fucking gross. I don't get it. Uh— what? No I can't. I'm wearing a suit. I'm sure it's fused to my skin, or something. (This is actually the VICE AGENT version of the dude, who is wired head to toe. If he takes his shirt off, it will blow his cover.) SKINS. Fuck. L E G E N D S HE DUPED YOU! I BELIEVE THAT! He's good at everything! Especially things like that! WE'LL KILL HIM! NO ONE CAN KILL HIM. HE IS IMMORTAL. –doesn't mean we can't try. *dramatic music* [beat] WHAT?! I SAID– I CAN'T HEAR YOU, THERE'S A HELLICOPTER LEVITATING DIRECTLY OVER US! I KNOW! THAT'S WHY I WAS YELLING TOO, IT'S JUST– [Suddenly they realize, it is the he of who they speak hovering in the helicopter.] *GASP* DOn'T. {it's too late. He unloads a clip from an automatic rifle] THOSE ARE BANNED IN EUROPE. YOU COULD HAVE FOOLED ME! I KNOW I COULD HAVE! BECAUSE YOU ARE QUITE OBVIOUSLY EASILY FOOLED! ENOUGH. The helicopter scoops down and unrolls a ladder. W–wait! ARE YOU GETTING IN THE HELLICOPTER WITH HIM?! (dramatically) It appears so. WHAT. YES! YES I AM GETTING INTO THE HELLICOPTER. ARE YOU GONNA SHOOT AT ME *confused* *shurgs* (he gives up) ..of course not. Well then, I believe it is YOU that has been duped. WHAT!??!? GOOD DAY, SIR. They really nominated Stephen Colbert for an Emmy, and then fired him the next day. What on Earth. What did you do at the party, bro? Be honest! They literally we're like, Wednesday: You're nominated for an Emmy award! Thursday: You're cancelled! Cancelled, bro. How do you cancel the late show? That was David Letterman. The whole point of a show like that is so it goes on forever! Nope, cancelled! Daaaamn. You better win that Emmy now, bruh. {Enter The Multiverse} Copyright The Collective Complex © [The Festival Project, Inc. ™] © 2025 All Rights Reserved -Ū. HOW THE FUCK DID WAYNE BRADY GET IN HERE! I dont know how Wayne Brady got in here! Keep an eye on him. I heard he's polyscientific in his sexual proclivities. Oh. Okay then.

earth collective complex fuck wtf cancelled djs cc shirts david letterman sir jimmy fallon blu good day stephen colbert versus skins katt williams ew ello carl cox dillon francis wayne brady shh deadmau canvas series

THE COLLECTIVE COMPLEX CANVAS SERIES #01

Play Episode Listen Later Jul 20, 2025 36:16

CARL COX curses BLŨ out in an extreme show of brilliantly vile COCKNEY FASHION. CARL COX [unintelligible cockney] BLŪ I have no idea what you just said, or why you're yelling at me! CARL COX (Sarcastically) Well how's this—? “Ello, poppet!” In THE DJ storyline )which is technically storyline a, we've just discovered DJ DILLON FRANCIS used BLU — (originally CC) as a sort of horcrux for his darkest magical intentions. Now the DJS are in a rush to extract this device before time runs out. Wtf did Dillon Francis do? YO HE LITERALLY MADE HER INTO A POPPIT. What the fuck is a poppit. It's like a little fuckin— thing— witches use to store magical energy and when the spell is over you're supposed to destroy them— but he DIDNT and it came to life and it merged with CC! Yooooooo! Who is now blu Tha Gürū, because Chak Chel dissappeared— or sort of dissappeared— to aide in the magical assasination of Let me guess— No don't guess, you could ruin it. What. Don't literally ruin it. The show exists in a multiversial construct which means anything you say, or think, or guess could unintentionally alter the plot, and skew it into an array of infinitely possible dimensions! Oh no! But I already thought! Shh! No you didn't! Just replace those thoughts— with better ones z— I don't have any better thoughts! Well, make some up. Uh— ok! Shh, it's coming back on this is where it gets intense. I thought you've never seen this before I know! But I know it gets intense! Well, how do you know that?! BECAUSE I KNOW THAT ALREADY. {Enter The Multiverse} ENTER THE MULTIVERSE is getting intense. BLŪ WHAT. NO ITS NOT! I can't take it I just can't take it I just can't take it no more I just can't n THE SKY IS FALLING! WHY?' I don't know. Seems pretty intense though, doesn't it. FUCK YOUUUUUU DEADMAU55555555! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA!! I am DEADMAU— *powers down* Ah, fuck. KATT WILLIAMS is coaching the NBC GAMES. KATT WILLIAMS Alright, b-ball time! Shirts! Versus skins! you can be skins, Jimmy Fallon. *winks* Ew. She's so fucking gross. I don't get it. Uh— what? No I can't. I'm wearing a suit. I'm sure it's fused to my skin, or something. (This is actually the VICE AGENT version of the dude, who is wired head to toe. If he takes his shirt off, it will blow his cover.) SKINS. Fuck. L E G E N D S HE DUPED YOU! I BELIEVE THAT! He's good at everything! Especially things like that! WE'LL KILL HIM! NO ONE CAN KILL HIM. HE IS IMMORTAL. –doesn't mean we can't try. *dramatic music* [beat] WHAT?! I SAID– I CAN'T HEAR YOU, THERE'S A HELLICOPTER LEVITATING DIRECTLY OVER US! I KNOW! THAT'S WHY I WAS YELLING TOO, IT'S JUST– [Suddenly they realize, it is the he of who they speak hovering in the helicopter.] *GASP* DOn'T. {it's too late. He unloads a clip from an automatic rifle] THOSE ARE BANNED IN EUROPE. YOU COULD HAVE FOOLED ME! I KNOW I COULD HAVE! BECAUSE YOU ARE QUITE OBVIOUSLY EASILY FOOLED! ENOUGH. The helicopter scoops down and unrolls a ladder. W–wait! ARE YOU GETTING IN THE HELLICOPTER WITH HIM?! (dramatically) It appears so. WHAT. YES! YES I AM GETTING INTO THE HELLICOPTER. ARE YOU GONNA SHOOT AT ME *confused* *shurgs* (he gives up) ..of course not. Well then, I believe it is YOU that has been duped. WHAT!??!? GOOD DAY, SIR. They really nominated Stephen Colbert for an Emmy, and then fired him the next day. What on Earth. What did you do at the party, bro? Be honest! They literally we're like, Wednesday: You're nominated for an Emmy award! Thursday: You're cancelled! Cancelled, bro. How do you cancel the late show? That was David Letterman. The whole point of a show like that is so it goes on forever! Nope, cancelled! Daaaamn. You better win that Emmy now, bruh. {Enter The Multiverse} Copyright The Collective Complex © [The Festival Project, Inc. ™] © 2025 All Rights Reserved -Ū. HOW THE FUCK DID WAYNE BRADY GET IN HERE! I dont know how Wayne Brady got in here! Keep an eye on him. I heard he's polyscientific in his sexual proclivities. Oh. Okay then.

earth collective complex fuck wtf cancelled djs cc shirts david letterman sir jimmy fallon blu good day stephen colbert versus skins katt williams ew ello carl cox dillon francis wayne brady shh deadmau canvas series

THE COLLECTIVE COMPLEX CANVAS SERIES #01

Play Episode Listen Later Jul 20, 2025 36:16

The Collective Complex Foundation Art Series Mixes 001. CARL COX curses BLŨ out in an extreme show of brilliantly vile COCKNEY FASHION. CARL COX [unintelligible cockney] BLŪ I have no idea what you just said, or why you're yelling at me! CARL COX (Sarcastically) Well how's this—? “Ello, poppet!” In THE DJ storyline )which is technically storyline a, we've just discovered DJ DILLON FRANCIS used BLU — (originally CC) as a sort of horcrux for his darkest magical intentions. Now the DJS are in a rush to extract this device before time runs out. Wtf did Dillon Francis do? YO HE LITERALLY MADE HER INTO A POPPIT. What the fuck is a poppit. It's like a little fuckin— thing— witches use to store magical energy and when the spell is over you're supposed to destroy them— but he DIDNT and it came to life and it merged with CC! Yooooooo! Who is now blu Tha Gürū, because Chak Chel dissappeared— or sort of dissappeared— to aide in the magical assasination of Let me guess— No don't guess, you could ruin it. What. Don't literally ruin it. The show exists in a multiversial construct which means anything you say, or think, or guess could unintentionally alter the plot, and skew it into an array of infinitely possible dimensions! Oh no! But I already thought! Shh! No you didn't! Just replace those thoughts— with better ones z— I don't have any better thoughts! Well, make some up. Uh— ok! Shh, it's coming back on this is where it gets intense. I thought you've never seen this before I know! But I know it gets intense! Well, how do you know that?! BECAUSE I KNOW THAT ALREADY. {Enter The Multiverse} ENTER THE MULTIVERSE is getting intense. BLŪ WHAT. NO ITS NOT! I can't take it I just can't take it I just can't take it no more I just can't n THE SKY IS FALLING! WHY?' I don't know. Seems pretty intense though, doesn't it. FUCK YOUUUUUU DEADMAU55555555! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA!! I am DEADMAU— *powers down* Ah, fuck. KATT WILLIAMS is coaching the NBC GAMES. KATT WILLIAMS Alright, b-ball time! Shirts! Versus skins! you can be skins, Jimmy Fallon. *winks* Ew. She's so fucking gross. I don't get it. Uh— what? No I can't. I'm wearing a suit. I'm sure it's fused to my skin, or something. (This is actually the VICE AGENT version of the dude, who is wired head to toe. If he takes his shirt off, it will blow his cover.) SKINS. Fuck. L E G E N D S HE DUPED YOU! I BELIEVE THAT! He's good at everything! Especially things like that! WE'LL KILL HIM! NO ONE CAN KILL HIM. HE IS IMMORTAL. –doesn't mean we can't try. *dramatic music* [beat] WHAT?! I SAID– I CAN'T HEAR YOU, THERE'S A HELLICOPTER LEVITATING DIRECTLY OVER US! I KNOW! THAT'S WHY I WAS YELLING TOO, IT'S JUST– [Suddenly they realize, it is the he of who they speak hovering in the helicopter.] *GASP* DOn'T. {it's too late. He unloads a clip from an automatic rifle] THOSE ARE BANNED IN EUROPE. YOU COULD HAVE FOOLED ME! I KNOW I COULD HAVE! BECAUSE YOU ARE QUITE OBVIOUSLY EASILY FOOLED! ENOUGH. The helicopter scoops down and unrolls a ladder. W–wait! ARE YOU GETTING IN THE HELLICOPTER WITH HIM?! (dramatically) It appears so. WHAT. YES! YES I AM GETTING INTO THE HELLICOPTER. ARE YOU GONNA SHOOT AT ME *confused* *shurgs* (he gives up) ..of course not. Well then, I believe it is YOU that has been duped. WHAT!??!? GOOD DAY, SIR. They really nominated Stephen Colbert for an Emmy, and then fired him the next day. What on Earth. What did you do at the party, bro? Be honest! They literally we're like, Wednesday: You're nominated for an Emmy award! Thursday: You're cancelled! Cancelled, bro. How do you cancel the late show? That was David Letterman. The whole point of a show like that is so it goes on forever! Nope, cancelled! Daaaamn. You better win that Emmy now, bruh. {Enter The Multiverse} Copyright The Collective Complex © [The Festival Project, Inc. ™] © 2025 All Rights Reserved -Ū. HOW THE FUCK DID WAYNE BRADY GET IN HERE! I dont know how Wayne Brady got in here! Keep an eye on him. I heard he's polyscientific in his sexual proclivities. Oh. Okay then.

earth collective complex fuck wtf cancelled djs cc shirts david letterman sir jimmy fallon blu good day stephen colbert versus skins katt williams ew ello carl cox dillon francis wayne brady shh deadmau canvas series

{“Ah. We Meet Again.”}

Play Episode Listen Later Jul 20, 2025 57:50

CARL COX curses BLŨ out in an extreme show of brilliantly vile COCKNEY FASHION. CARL COX [unintelligible cockney] BLŪ I have no idea what you just said, or why you're yelling at me! CARL COX (Sarcastically) Well how's this—? “Ello, poppet!” In THE DJ storyline )which is technically storyline a, we've just discovered DJ DILLON FRANCIS used BLU — (originally CC) as a sort of horcrux for his darkest magical intentions. Now the DJS are in a rush to extract this device before time runs out. Wtf did Dillon Francis do? YO HE LITERALLY MADE HER INTO A POPPIT. What the fuck is a poppit. It's like a little fuckin— thing— witches use to store magical energy and when the spell is over you're supposed to destroy them— but he DIDNT and it came to life and it merged with CC! Yooooooo! Who is now blu Tha Gürū, because Chak Chel dissappeared— or sort of dissappeared— to aide in the magical assasination of Let me guess— No don't guess, you could ruin it. What. Don't literally ruin it. The show exists in a multiversial construct which means anything you say, or think, or guess could unintentionally alter the plot, and skew it into an array of infinitely possible dimensions! Oh no! But I already thought! Shh! No you didn't! Just replace those thoughts— with better ones z— I don't have any better thoughts! Well, make some up. Uh— ok! Shh, it's coming back on this is where it gets intense. I thought you've never seen this before I know! But I know it gets intense! Well, how do you know that?! BECAUSE I KNOW THAT ALREADY. {Enter The Multiverse} ENTER THE MULTIVERSE is getting intense. BLŪ WHAT. NO ITS NOT! I can't take it I just can't take it I just can't take it no more I just can't n THE SKY IS FALLING! WHY?' I don't know. Seems pretty intense though, doesn't it. FUCK YOUUUUUU DEADMAU55555555! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA!! I am DEADMAU— *powers down* Ah, fuck. KATT WILLIAMS is coaching the NBC GAMES. KATT WILLIAMS Alright, b-ball time! Shirts! Versus skins! you can be skins, Jimmy Fallon. *winks* Ew. She's so fucking gross. I don't get it. Uh— what? No I can't. I'm wearing a suit. I'm sure it's fused to my skin, or something. (This is actually the VICE AGENT version of the dude, who is wired head to toe. If he takes his shirt off, it will blow his cover.) SKINS. Fuck. L E G E N D S HE DUPED YOU! I BELIEVE THAT! He's good at everything! Especially things like that! WE'LL KILL HIM! NO ONE CAN KILL HIM. HE IS IMMORTAL. –doesn't mean we can't try. *dramatic music* [beat] WHAT?! I SAID– I CAN'T HEAR YOU, THERE'S A HELLICOPTER LEVITATING DIRECTLY OVER US! I KNOW! THAT'S WHY I WAS YELLING TOO, IT'S JUST– [Suddenly they realize, it is the he of who they speak hovering in the helicopter.] *GASP* DOn'T. {it's too late. He unloads a clip from an automatic rifle] THOSE ARE BANNED IN EUROPE. YOU COULD HAVE FOOLED ME! I KNOW I COULD HAVE! BECAUSE YOU ARE QUITE OBVIOUSLY EASILY FOOLED! ENOUGH. The helicopter scoops down and unrolls a ladder. W–wait! ARE YOU GETTING IN THE HELLICOPTER WITH HIM?! (dramatically) It appears so. WHAT. YES! YES I AM GETTING INTO THE HELLICOPTER. ARE YOU GONNA SHOOT AT ME *confused* *shurgs* (he gives up) ..of course not. Well then, I believe it is YOU that has been duped. WHAT!??!? GOOD DAY, SIR. Lil Bitz They really nominated Stephen Colbert for an Emmy, and then fired him the next day. What on Earth. What did you do at the party, bro? Be honest! They literally we're like, Wednesday: You're nominated for an Emmy award! Thursday: You're cancelled! Cancelled, bro. How do you cancel the late show? That was David Letterman. The whole point of a show like that is so it goes on forever! Nope, cancelled! Daaaamn. You better win that Emmy now, bruh. {Enter The Multiverse} HOW THE FUCK DID WAYNE BRADY GET IN HERE! I dont know how Wayne Brady got in here! Keep an eye on him. I heard he's polyscientific in his sexual proclivities. Oh. Okay then. L E G E N D S CARL COX curses BLŨ out in an extreme show of brilliantly vile COCKNEY FASHION. CARL COX [unintelligible cockney] BLŪ I have no idea what you just said, or why you're yelling at me! CARL COX (Sarcastically) Well how's this—? “Ello, poppet!” In THE DJ storyline )which is technically storyline a, we've just discovered DJ DILLON FRANCIS used BLU — (originally CC) as a sort of horcrux for his darkest magical intentions. Now the DJS are in a rush to extract this device before time runs out. Wtf did Dillon Francis do? YO HE LITERALLY MADE HER INTO A POPPIT. What the fuck is a poppit. It's like a little fuckin— thing— witches use to store magical energy and when the spell is over you're supposed to destroy them— but he DIDNT and it came to life and it merged with CC! Yooooooo! Who is now Blū Tha Gürū, because Chak Chel disappeared— or sort of disappeared— to aide in the magical assasination of Let me guess— No don't guess, you could ruin it. What. Don't literally ruin it. The show exists in a multiversial construct which means anything you say, or think, or guess could unintentionally alter the plot, and skew it into an array of infinitely possible dimensions! Oh no! But I already thought! Shh! No you didn't! Just replace those thoughts— with better ones z— I don't have any better thoughts! Well, make some up! Uh— ok! Shh, it's coming back on: this is where it gets intense. I thought you've never seen this before I know! But I know it gets intense! Well, how do you know that?! BECAUSE I KNOW THAT ALREADY. {Enter The Multiverse} ENTER THE MULTIVERSE is getting intense. BLŪ WHAT. NO ITS NOT! I can't take it I just can't take it I just can't take it no more I just can't n THE SKY IS FALLING! WHY?' I don't know. Seems pretty intense though, doesn't it. FUCK YOUUUUUU DEADMAU55555555! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA!! I am DEADMAU— *powers down* Ah, fuck. {Enter The Multiverse} ICONS KATT WILLIAMS is coaching the NBC GAMES. KATT WILLIAMS Alright, b-ball time! Shirts! Versus skins! …you can be skins, Jimmy Fallon. *winks* Ew. She's so fucking gross. I don't get it. Uh— what? No I can't. I'm wearing a suit. I'm sure it's fused to my skin, or something. (This is actually the VICE AGENT version of the dude, who is wired head to toe. If he takes his shirt off, it will blow his cover.) SKINS. Fuck. L E G E N D S HE DUPED YOU! I BELIEVE THAT! He's good at everything! Especially things like that! WE'LL KILL HIM! NO ONE CAN KILL HIM. HE IS IMMORTAL. –doesn't mean we can't try. *dramatic music* [beat] WHAT?! I SAID– I CAN'T HEAR YOU, THERE'S A HELLICOPTER LEVITATING DIRECTLY OVER US! I KNOW! THAT'S WHY I WAS YELLING TOO, IT'S JUST– [Suddenly they realize, it is the he of who they speak hovering in the helicopter.] *GASP* DOn'T. {it's too late. He unloads a clip from an automatic rifle] THOSE ARE BANNED IN EUROPE. YOU COULD HAVE FOOLED ME! I KNOW I COULD HAVE! BECAUSE YOU ARE QUITE OBVIOUSLY EASILY FOOLED! ENOUGH. The helicopter scoops down and unrolls a ladder. W–wait! ARE YOU GETTING IN THE HELLICOPTER WITH HIM?! (dramatically) It appears so. WHAT. YES! YES I AM GETTING INTO THE HELLICOPTER. ARE YOU GONNA SHOOT AT ME? *confused* *shurgs* (he gives up) ..of course not. Well then, I believe it is YOU that has been duped. WHAT!??!? GOOD DAY, SIR. Lil Bitz They really nominated Stephen Colbert for an Emmy, and then fired him the next day. What on Earth. What did you do at the party, bro? Be honest! They literally we're like, Wednesday: You're nominated for an Emmy award! Thursday: You're cancelled! Cancelled, bro. How do you cancel the late show? That was David Letterman. The whole point of a show like that is so it goes on forever! Nope, cancelled! Daaaamn. You better win that Emmy now, bruh. {Enter The Multiverse} Look at the pale ass people who can afford this place— I'm probably not even allowed there With much dishonor and bad distaste- You'd better stop coming around there If I spend my time out buying your price Mercy to the highest bidder You can call me anything you'd like But just don't call me a quitter If it's talk you want, I've got all the words For a stake, I'll buy you dinner In my house of hands, I've got all nine cards Hey Mary, your husband's a sinner I play all nine holes I lived all nine lives I spend all night In the The Panorama Room Smoke a parliament, parliament I just haven't the heart (The heart) To tell her You were part of it (Part of it) But I just sat down To write my love a letter When you know it's over (You know it's over) But you know you can't Forget her When you know it's over (You know it's over) But you also know That you just can't Forgive her And I just sat down And I just sat down And I just sat down To write my love a letter I write all my best lines In The Panorama Room And I'm back on prime time tonight But it's just lights out If I get back now I just might be up by noon But if I pass out In the town car I went that far As to turn back out For an hour, or a barback Oh wow, I — Look at the time Have a long night out I just lost my life At The Panorama Room It wasn't exactly the phantom But it just might have been Patrick And just like that, I need a back rub And a ballroom gown And an hour of heart talk But I just don't want all that, God I just gotta keep talking Outback from one But what's after all out? I'm no longer lost, I just wanna know How far till the next exit? When's wind a kite to fall back on? How many faxes till it makes sense? Cause it ain't been ten days yet, But I faked maybe seven or eight It is dangerous! A high stakes game, nothing makes sense Till just the end, then it hates to— Just rolls over, the next day raises And all you know is a tunnel And the smoke rising up from the long tail And really no hope goes there at all, But the words to a song And then they cut the lights off It is over; You don't know her, You can't love her— You can't move here, And there's no home sprung out of Hollywood; It was all a hoax, It was all just marxists, And now you really all are on your last dollar to spend, because in the end, truth is currency and we inTelevision really ain't in the business of truth in media; The honesty is honestly just as lost as you and I all are and yet— as proposed, We really are not as one, but so separate that it's possible, your stardust, and my horcruxes Are not that foreign to one another in terms of matter, but fall on us as gospels of one world to a whole other. You know that? It really has been a long drunk drive up the 101 in this classic car with the bucket seats and honest, I'm dying in the intertwined and reading these radio waves just as any old controller, but who knows really when it goes into the ocean, Seemingly out of control, But just turns back to shore, Such as a surfboard. — Seth Rogen. No, no dust— keep moving— It's just sandy beaches and trouble warring No, not now, keep off us— If trouble waves and shadows park this car, A storm is coming. And we were off to shore in the blue classic car, U-turned into her shore like a surfboard on the water. Don't ever do that again. I won't bother. You said “off road.” I didn't know that meant ocean. No, it doesn't go in the ocean. I spoke too soon. {Enter The Multiverse} Do you want me to die, Or bury your love like a secret ther I betray you, And portray you here in such a way as are kings and god, but of ruthless man, you are no honor or, or— worthy of such prize, as I, you ponder? Death seeks you and slowly surely is approaching and is as upon us the dog that barks and the wind that calls and the kiss that waits not as dusk but morning light, and do our calls upon us. And wait you then, these things I have here in my gate, and the knowing of the tide that does not moon, put sorrow? Like a lake it is thus ruined and by my time passed and even ye you, there hath it been not told, as told before the earth will shake with envy, and with pity, and with bore her such pride as slain thy son?! No! You do not any but gasp in these, my words as so you wore but tattered clothes as truths to these, no in mine wealth of heart and rich of soul, yet these bearing little truths have sown our end I wait Here slithers here the snake for singing crickets followed thy sound and thy voice to betray you; And thee I harp as though not to wait my tongue, my pride has pondered on this moment. O, I know and shall to thee my praying the honor of know not I that seek in weighing many days upon us; And though ye as many embark in flight and make my way and wonder where is but here the road to such a comet. Oh shit, he's asking about the other planet. Thank you. Yeah I— There's absolutely no chance in making it. It, by all standard and concept in the construct of time, is not possible. Your kind will be washed and diminished, and our time has come to again rule over our, to she whom you call “Earth”, not as our home, but as our daughter. You have known wise to honor her, our coming. Like omg what the fuck does this have to do with Jimmy Fallon. right. L E G E N D S: ICONS I guess it came through. Yeah, you're right. Yeah. CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR EMMY. Uhh… Thanks? I uh— we didn't win yet. Not with that attitude. Huh. Look at that. I guess you're right! [beat] —but wait, who are you up against? [The Festival Project ™] This is intense. Yeah, I'll say it is… We gotta get to the other side of that portal. I don't think we should be making any— — we should go through the portal—! —plans very seriously— and honestly I'm thinking— Or maybe— you stay here, and I'll go through the portal, and you tell me if you can hear anything once I make it to the other side! I don't know if that…works. What? Why not dude? It'll be great— Cause I don't know anything about portals, and honestly— —I'm thinking— I just want to make it past the Emmy's so I can get laid again—like really laid— I've been… paying… for it. —you want to skip going through a portal so you can get laid? By a decent— and by decent I mean free— lady who just happens to be single and in attendance of the Emmy's or any of the after parties— yes, actually! Yes! No! We have to go through this portal to see what's actually on the other side! I don't have to do anything! No, you don't have to do anything— because I'm going through the portal, and you're just—staying and making sure you tell me if you can hear me! I don't think it's that easy actually! But you don't know until you try. I'm not trying. You're trying. And I'm letting you because you're pressuring me! Shut up. You're starting to sound like one of my interns. If I was one of your interns I would be quitting, and hash tagging you already. If you were one of my interns you wouldn't be paying for company. What's that supposed to mean? Just—- {Enter the multiverse} Stop. What if all whores are just bored workers And all escorts personal massagers— What if all message boards are mating calls And all honor rolls are leader boards, And all board rooms are horse drawn carriages For faraway battlefields, What if nothing I offer even comes close To the dollar value of your most cherished call girl And what if anything I know about her Doesn't conform to my idea of a comfort zone? What if the anxiety you're eyeing me and getting high behind me with is just designed to bind my mind enlightening the lightning strike dividing my entirety? What if I want to know you know my known worth without words or surfaces? What if all I don't know is all of my whole world, And just the dollop of a thought could push you off the wall to fall from the top of the Rockerfeller plaza into art upon the crosswalk? What if I could touch that cross, and walk with the palm of the sword stretched out like a… What were you saying? I don't know something about the handle of a sword turning into another object? What if I could hypothesis not one, but all the conundrums in one stroke of nonsense? Stop already? For what. I was told I could have been bought and sold Had I dressed the part To drive off in the pretty corvette But how dare I not Look just as hard earned As her for dollar signs Although Somebody bought her all of that? What if all you are is just bullets in the gun And a wound for my brain And a heart to heal Without home or a umbrella As the rain comes down so hard It sends whole homes floating? What if all the remarks in my smart ass couldn't call you up in the form of laughter? How about that one? How does your back ache? How was your hour glass. Much much Longer And Harder Than An hour. How I broke my spell? I just shook her hands. I just put my tail In between my legs And departure Marks the time of Our new travel archive But With just the dust of lust From dusk till dawn The one you wanted Climbs upon the forest In another song Or story What you— One, Two, Three dice— The riddle Four, five, Six mice, the honor Six, seven— Someone's disrespected; Lessons! Eight, nine— Oh my, Someone's right behind us. Nor can I stop writing or whining about my desires, and deadlines coming up and signing off, but I'm still crying. So I never sold my sole, And yet, The light from it was stolen; Slamming doors and hard earned apartments, Multipliers and real bad liars And one liners And one sells signed autographed autobiographies Now how about that for a rabbit hole, Seth Meyers? You should work harder on your crossovers Then again, the rule of thumb is to just Put them all on the old drum code And it's just no fun If it's not on suicide watch Don't bother I don't brother, But I learned to love her. You know? Silly little game, this inconsiderate confusion, wind washed galleyways and fisherman to put you under, Degrading you very awaking for the patrons, faking it— No things haven't made sense since you ate it With which way Is the birthday cake? Mistakes the Ace as Satan Lately, anything don't matter but that's a laugh Still no dollar though, no Don't call her out— she just wants courage And witness to slaughter Hers the very lamb of truth And mother's daughter. Put your art to work, This is not a war, it's a fairway And it and your worth, It's a fair game It ain't make sense Till you get 8-6 out a bar that you own Under A. An Alias, B. Under the Name of an Accomplice or otherwise trustworthy partner to which not you call love, but perhaps a co-owner. (Or co-author.) Remember the time now? A shit. I gotta run. Where to? I don't know yet. Grey suit. The whispers of a game Blue tie White stripes Red lips, One aim and he doesn't think twice One name and he doesn't give once Two trips to the hallway, One gun in the holster, One bullet in the chamber, And one number you thought of. Four? …yes. I've got a secret, a dirty little secret. The Rock and The Kite XI {Enter The Multiverse} Copyright The Collective Complex © [The Festival Project, Inc. ™] © 2025 All Rights Reserved -Ū.

Trump Crashes Out as His Cult Crumbles, Calls Supporters “Weaklings” | Rachel Brosnahan, Ronny Chieng, Dave Portnoy, Mandal | Wednesday, July 16

Play Episode Listen Later Jul 17, 2025 37:51

Jimmy addresses the latest news, like Trump crashing out and calling his supporters weaklings, before speaking with Rachel Brosnahan, Ronny Chieng and Dave Portnoy and welcoming Mandal for a stand-up comedy performance.

RulaskaThoughts: All Stars 10. Episode 11.

RuPaul's Drag Race Recap

Play Episode Listen Later Jul 16, 2025 43:55

In this episode of RulaskaThoughts, Joe Betance and Robert Mata discuss the latest episode of All Stars 10, touching on various themes including food experiences, the influence of producers in reality TV, the dynamics of viewer expectations, and the concept of punk rock within drag culture. They also delve into humor and cultural references, particularly focusing on the role of figures like Jimmy Fallon in contemporary comedy. In this conversation, Robert and Joe delve into various aspects of performance art, particularly focusing on Drag Race. They discuss the nuances of artistic expression, the dynamics of humor and character portrayal, and the expectations surrounding recap shows. The dialogue also touches on personal anecdotes and future plans, creating a rich tapestry of insights into the world of entertainment and personal connections. Patreon: patreon.com/afterthoughtmedia Voicemail: speakpipe.com/afterthoughtmedia Email: dragracerecap@afterthought.media Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

tv stars drag race jimmy fallon all stars voicemail joe betance

Trump's Approval Rating Down in Flames, Supporters Burn MAGA Hats in Protest | Russell Wilson, Lola Tung, Gavin Casalegno, Christopher Briney | Tuesday, July 15

Play Episode Listen Later Jul 16, 2025 36:06

Jimmy addresses the latest news, like Trump's supporters burning their MAGA hats, before speaking with Russell Wilson, Lola Tung, Gavin Casalegno and Christopher Briney.

{Enter The Multiverse} S11E002

Play Episode Listen Later Jul 16, 2025 22:35

Every time I take him in I must remember the best thing That have ever happened to him As he said And whether or not the band Wraps around the bent and broken digit I just simply remember that, I'm just infatuated as a friend I mark it like a mantra Just as adequately as the director Calls to action All the actors at the set; With no resentments We're all just doing our jobs All just doing our jobs We're all just doing our… Lessons. Come back. Not quite. It's not (Uh) There (Where you want it) Hold on. (Yeah) Sit tight (Where) I don't want to spoil any of it Boil all the letters Burning all the bridges Sitting at the forest (Where) There's the alter (Where) Really you didn't recognize The moment when it happened But it's been pinpointed (Where) —but where is it? Cut to commercial But don't let it hurt you All of a sudden. My eyes aren't his, This isn't witchcraft It's just a glitch Did you miss an interview? Or is it that you're just disinterested Or disintegrated Integration, integers and interference Running backs and runners, Gymnasts, models, other lovers Alcoholics Now it's not so daunting, comic I'm also sort of off and autistic Obsessive with narrow vision But glimpses of the ever bending present Is indeed a gift To know I left the letter Letting it get soaking wet Before they ever even read it Know the news, Wave the wand, Wind the whales, Dig the hole Burn the bridge, Burn the ace Throw the cards, Get the day over with and won't you know There's Something wrong I think it's simple to tell The wind will whistle when It's good to win again There are Ten men to a collar Ten phones to a number One call to a voicemail And all of them know her Now, take it all back before the bathwater stagnates Would you make it in this day and age? No, I'm glad that you hate me. 4,000 years later and all of a sudden The pact is clear and concise As if As it As if Turn it on its head a bit And light another candle Get the glitch out of your Obsession with the asshole And wrap you head around it Found a sweater Pick it up and pray that it just Isn't bewitched, But sickness is sickness Whatever it is This is comfort food A comfort blanket If I hate myself enough Then all it does Is put the elf back on the shelf The trophy back inside the case My eyes go back inside my head And everything I ever thought Just stopped And disappears into the heavens Wherever it goes Before the gore Around and and around and around and around 4,000 years, and now we're here: The mirrors Man and Mr. And it might be another million years Until I see to hear But this and that, The dance of dances Comes again And ebbs and flows It's not as random As it is sporadic And it's not that deep But it's also keeping secrets That precede this realm Or Space and time Or name or face And body, souls and mind. It could be another million years, But it comes around, It comes around It could be getting wider, But it's steady going down and out It comes around when it comes around 27, were it ended Now it's umpteen years into the after life And we're shadows now Just projections of such, But it wasn't once More than just a thought, Becomes a story All the world was just the thought And then a song, The dance that came along Is simply steady moving Is simple steady moving. All of the world, Was just a thought. Watch with one eye open only First the right And then the left Covered over with one closed palm So you know how old you go One foot forward And no coals to walk over Rolling rolling, Your role is One off, Now too off Now too late But what you process Is your whole world over The goal for the gold? Oh, no, Warm Sundays Try to warn her While her heart is open To fucking close it Keep your friends close And your Fallons closer. There's no trust in the golden auras There's no honor in golden globes If you don't work for them Know doors open and close And open and close And you don't blow smoke, But you just keep moving forward [The Festival Project ™ ] Just the idea if him will kill you Whether with guilt or otherwise, And now you know And now you know You're on no sugar till the goal You got your cake and ate it, too Oh, the way he cries in the confines of my mind The blood would curdle The tears that seared my soul disk through the wall with every color If his was a shoulder to cry on, If God was a cover for longing Yo. Where the fuck did Patrick come from? He just showed up. I don't think he owns me so much As I want to know I don't think I'm lonely As much as it's I'm alone What are you looking at Well, I don't know yet What are you asking? I can't. There's a mask there What I want to know is, What is this pain? What is this pain in him? What is this pain in this? What kind of psychic sense That lives in my back; I just hope that's the last of it What a weird kid. Core Concept: "Enter The Multiverse" (ETM) is a living, evolving meta-narrative that documents the ontological fluidity of reality itself. It functions as a grand experiment, proposing that all perceived realities – fictional, historical, and contemporary – exist as vibrational frequencies within an infinite cosmic tapestry. ETM doesn't just feature alternate worlds; it explores the mechanics of their existence, their interconnectedness, and the profound implications for consciousness. It blends high-concept quantum physics with ancient spiritual metaphysics. It includes creatures such as shapeshifters (like Gerald and potentially Jimmy Fallon), fairies, and monsters. Integration of Real-Life Figures: ETM famously integrates real-life celebrities (from A-list icons like Oprah Winfrey, Beyoncé, Janet Jackson, Madonna, Billie Eilish, Finneas, Eddie Murphy, Christopher Walken, Johnny Depp, Charlie Sheen, Katt Williams, and Whoopi Goldberg, to late-night hosts and media personalities like Tina Fey and Jimmy Fallon). ETM posits that these individuals, often without their conscious awareness, are either key nodal points in the multiversal fabric, accidental conduits for interdimensional energies, or even unwitting "Lightworkers" whose public personas are part of a larger cosmic script. You son of a bitch. Can you do that?! Can you do that? I can do— anything I want— Really? Except that. Oh?! And why's this?! Because I don't want to. But if you could, you would. I can— I just— Oh really. I'm sure there are reasons— besides the obvious —I'm sure— Moral ones. Almost Sam was a safe bet Almost mark John was a good lad Almost once was the Ireland's best, And I guess with the beat of the drum, I ponder Ponder to the beat of the Pity my pocket, much Pity the fool, if you're. It put b perfect; Get in the picture, Just to cut you out of it If I close my eyes one time, Even just for a little while Take me right off and away Take me right off and away And I bet with the task, you can't have handled it I bet to run better you'd forget your purpose I guess I'm a purist- pure problems, the pussy car l Put it to sleep, Or just— in a waste basket I'm so confused, ya'll, I got on the train. Of course. And nothing was at all interesting until this nigga got on With a samurai sword And a Trader Joe's clutch Pick a side! You can't get on the What the fuck am I looking at You tel me I don't know. You see that. I wish I didn't. Take it all in. I— Okay. This is gross What is the state of New York today? L Infected. Corrupt. Disingenuous. What is the state of New York today No identity No indegenous Murder me Leave me to drown In the tides of the ocean Just let me sink That's the only way to Bury me, With this murderous, traitorous Listen, if you will To a story ne'er told, But often sung And often rang like moons as bells Often thought, but never spoken Often brought up, But never put down Come around, will you I'll tell you a tale of a glorious story The take of all time, and as you listen, These words and this whispers will mend with your spirit, Then cease to exist with it Listen Celebrating resonances Has no effect. Yet I haven't even messaged any I haven't even lets a message yet I've just been celebrating resonances I haven't noticed any difference her. Only reflections on the way you get affexted How to get the guy at the bar— aunt you just lean on the bar Maybe you just sit at the bar Maybe you just be at the bar; How to get the guy at the bar Maybe you just stare at the bare Sit right there at the bare Maybe have a care at the bar Don't share at the bar Several small disaster. Why the fuck Am I alive I might as just well die I should have never made Pasquale Rotella one of my role models. —then again. This is before I really knew who he was, or what he was about— and at the end of the day, the truth of the matter is, nobody can ever really know who he really was, or what he was really about. Semitus, Semitus Relax the semitones Verdis Quo varitus You still aren't coming through! Varuq de Adonai Semitus, Semitus Verdis Quo, Veritus You still aren't coming through Cover up Cover up You still aren't coming through! Tau Kappa Epslilon You still aren't coming through Kappa Kappa epsilon, You still aren't coming through Kappa Delta Epsilon, you still aren't coming through MR. REDUNDANT, RAINBOW KITTEN SUPRISE– But IN AN UNASSUMING IRISH BAR in DRUNKEN HARMONY surrounding a piano played by what appears to be… An exceptionally tall leprechaun? I wouldn't know. I wasn't. [invited] Enchilada muffins Ah nah, I'm in Manhattan. I almost forgot what that was like. What a head change. More like a change of heart. What's this, a song? More like, I just don't know yet One day this will all be gone For now this is just a poem. How to wear Santa yellow: don't That took avoid anount of forever. That took a long punch of time That took a good bit of forever And now you're mine, You're mine, you're mine That took a good bit of forever, And now I'm on your mind That took a long bit of forever But now, I'm not counting time And now you're mine Now you're mine Now you're mine Now you're kine Jack in the box You really like to think you're smart, don't you? You really like to get your way? I can't Blame you But baby, I can't tame you LEAN WIT IT, ROCK WIT IT–BUT VIKING PIRATES. lol dumb “Nobody's really going to take that ad in the same way I am, are they?” I had reached a breaking point. I was going to let the world make me go mad because being good wasn't working and being bad seemed like my only option. Should I get a vape? Grab a drink? Fuck a friend? The truth was, none of the above would suffice, but in truth I felt the hate and rapid fire of judgement in cruelty in that whatever voice inside my head posing as Jimmy Fallon always seemed to be right. I had been replaced. People will try to feed you. Dont you see Because People will try to defeat you And they will fail Back to the wall Because after all It was you who needed me. After all, Over all, It was not a cacauphony, It was an apostrophe. How preposterous. Don't you see the weight of it, With what you made of it all, It was fly over fall And you chose the first. Wasn't it something of a hallmark moment That you went for the donut, And still came out With a basket of apples? Indeed, a crisis, In fact, You're there again In fact Beware of her It's obvious That it's not her fault It's just not the right time It's just not the right te, it's just not the right time When all they need if your compliance And all the my want is your attention And don't you see, it's just applied physics I'll take Literally Whatever I can get But you already knew that I needed you to need to know You know you knew But you already blue that And i'n already blue balled, So send me a bluebell It's nothing new, hell But it's crucial that I Screw you We all go to work in a toolbox My dear did What on earth are you doing in The fourth dimension?! I thought things were kind of strange… We interrupt this orogramme to bring you a live broadcast of a current alien invasion—breaking news— If you jump I might just jump Don't jump If you jump I might jump Same here If you jump I might jump I'll jump Don't jump Same here I might just jump 311-231-25900 311-231-26867 JIMMY FALLON pours himself a tall glass of WHATEVER— this is clearly one of those hype celebrity-curated brands of liquor meant to be hip and chic— a luxurious black-label bottle of fine liquor which literally, in bold white lettering, simply says WHATEVER; next to it on the oak wood table is another bottle of WHATEVER— a clear liquor, however with a white label and black lettering. This is clearly someone's brand, although— in the confines of a murky and dimly lit office, oppulent as it is— this is no plug, and there are no cameras, no audience. JIMMY FALLON knows he is about to be murdered, and as the dark liquid— perhaps a rum of some sort— glides over the barreled rocks in his glass, he calmly lets out a subtle sigh of exasperation. These are surely his last moments. {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project™ ] {Enter The Multiverse} L E G E N D S: ICONS Tales of A Superstar DJ The Secret Life of Sunnï Blū Ascension Deathwish -Ū. Copyright © The Festival Project, Inc. ™ | Copyright The Complex Collective © 2019-2025 ™ All Rights Reserved. -Ū.

off rhythm laughter. [the c o l o r s edition]

education body golden hosts laughter rhythm stealing copyright jimmy fallon world trade center rapidly idk hahaha robert greene sunn strike force five

Play Episode Listen Later Jul 16, 2025 3:33

[The Festival Project ™ ] Look, I've got some… time. How much time we talking? Enough. Alright, what's that make us? A deal. Alright. But you have to be quiet about it. Body is a minimum concern But accolades, achievements, Education— If you want to know, A billion's the goal— There's a goldmine full of pretty, perfect women But what are you worth, And where is your value What are you, earth, sir? Where are your manners, and What are your limits, And who are your partners— The son is the prize, And the reward, A daughter Now what are you on? I still don't know what you're on about. The show of the shelf life is done, And finally, All the hazards are uncrossed You know what you've done And you know what to do And you know who you are And you know what you want So the time for the gripping Has come down upon us The seams that are ripping Are nothing short of humongous How's that for a tadpole to a whole frog!? Watch it, turtle monster Before I put you down to run, And forgot what I had before Besides a gun And a habit to write And a real dark home And indeed, the words were also dark But written golden Golden shark Upon a park bench Put you back but don't you know To take a flash drive from a DJ Is much like Stealing a surfer's wetsuit It just like, Bad karma, man It's bad karma, Mark . I wrote— a passbook— where is it? You wrote— what? Where is it? Mi wrote it! Where is it? Wrote what? I wrote everything! I don't remember writing any [passbook] I'm a writer! A writer?! Oh, come on, Jimmy! Don't “Jimmy” me! You're starting to sound like… Wait a minute. Ah. Tina?! Don't be angry! Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh! I knew It! You didn't know anything, you were yelling at me like I'm that old lady! You are that old lady! *hugely gasps* DREW BARRYMORE Oh, you are so exorbitantly fucked. Where is she?! You have a— habit of always asking me these things before I really know the answer lately. Where's the scribe!? Is that who she is? You are supposed to be my predecessor! Stop being angry! I'm—very upset— And let go of me. This is aging me. Rapidly. Yay. Listen, I don't know what the fuck I said but— I need a liaison. For what exactly. Anything, apparently. Oh shit. The crazy thing about this one is— Yo Tina Fey is an almost elitist sort of shapeshifter. She's so sub —fuck. [—bliminal with it.] Someone keeps interfering with my signal. They can do that. They can broadcast Saturday night live to the entire world from the top of the World Trade Center, they can do anything. That's perfect— telemetry! Or just— telepathy. In a not so far dimension for continuity piurposes. J.Pierpoint Morgan— No, not yet, Oh okay. THE STRIKE FORCE FIVE have gathered in an office with a collection of other HOSTS. JIMMY FALLON sits leaned back on the couch in an unassuming hoodie, with the hood pulled over his face. He seems younger than usual, and somewhat bored. I knew his hair wasn't falling out anytime soon— —damn those genetics— So still I slowly but carefully salt and peppered each and every streaking strand that sprung forth from his wisdom. Hahaha! Yo. Crazy. Somebody needs to kill this bitch. It's too late. She can't be stopped! No! What! Crazy. She's… too powerful. I agree. I sort of accepted the relative silence in my apartment as if they'd gotten what they wanted— seeing Aliocha's number over and over as a way to succumb eventually to my inherent death— and at least then there would be peace. As it were, I was enjoying my time reading the New Testament Psalms above any of my other reading materials, which included a book on music business and even a portfolio of festival stages; this seemed of no mere coincidence, but as if of course the books were placed in my path within time that i'd find them returning from my radio show–and I did. But more fascinating than any book on the music business, or seduction, or the laws of human nature, or the art of war, was a hotel copy of the new testament, to which I took an immediate liking, with the understanding of this religious texts translations that I supposed writing almost seemingly endlesslessly myself had simplified. It seemed less boring than the last time I'd read it–and then again, the last time i'd read it, it wasn't as deliberately poignant as it sat now in the palm of my hands. I spent more time with it than the other books, although I loved Robert Greene, and even though i'd had the art of seduction on repeat by way of audio book, reading it through now seemed almost disturbing in nature, because on so many levels, there wasn't a time in my life where I could think to that this art didn't apply. Indeed, I was a true romantic, and then had in a way obliged myself to be seduced over and over, if not for the sake of the art. But now, in my own actual sexual prime, despite my cellibacy, nearly leaking the fluidity of sexuality with me wherever I went no matter how hard I tried to mask it …whether anyone wanted to admit it or not, and actually, more often than not I did notice t[o]— To what?! Idk, it just ends. UGHHHHHH. {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project™ ] {Enter The Multiverse} L E G E N D S: ICONS Tales of A Superstar DJ The Secret Life of Sunnï Blū Ascension Deathwish -Ū. Copyright © The Festival Project, Inc. ™ | Copyright The Complex Collective © 2019-2025 ™ All Rights Reserved. -Ū.

{Enter The Multiverse} S11002

Play Episode Listen Later Jul 16, 2025 22:35

Every time I take him in I must remember the best thing That have ever happened to him As he said And whether or not the band Wraps around the bent and broken digit I just simply remember that, I'm just infatuated as a friend I mark it like a mantra Just as adequately as the director Calls to action All the actors at the set; With no resentments We're all just doing our jobs All just doing our jobs We're all just doing our… Lessons. Come back. Not quite. It's not (Uh) There (Where you want it) Hold on. (Yeah) Sit tight (Where) I don't want to spoil any of it Boil all the letters Burning all the bridges Sitting at the forest (Where) There's the alter (Where) Really you didn't recognize The moment when it happened But it's been pinpointed (Where) —but where is it? Cut to commercial But don't let it hurt you All of a sudden. My eyes aren't his, This isn't witchcraft It's just a glitch Did you miss an interview? Or is it that you're just disinterested Or disintegrated Integration, integers and interference Running backs and runners, Gymnasts, models, other lovers Alcoholics Now it's not so daunting, comic I'm also sort of off and autistic Obsessive with narrow vision But glimpses of the ever bending present Is indeed a gift To know I left the letter Letting it get soaking wet Before they ever even read it Know the news, Wave the wand, Wind the whales, Dig the hole Burn the bridge, Burn the ace Throw the cards, Get the day over with and won't you know There's Something wrong I think it's simple to tell The wind will whistle when It's good to win again There are Ten men to a collar Ten phones to a number One call to a voicemail And all of them know her Now, take it all back before the bathwater stagnates Would you make it in this day and age? No, I'm glad that you hate me. 4,000 years later and all of a sudden The pact is clear and concise As if As it As if Turn it on its head a bit And light another candle Get the glitch out of your Obsession with the asshole And wrap you head around it Found a sweater Pick it up and pray that it just Isn't bewitched, But sickness is sickness Whatever it is This is comfort food A comfort blanket If I hate myself enough Then all it does Is put the elf back on the shelf The trophy back inside the case My eyes go back inside my head And everything I ever thought Just stopped And disappears into the heavens Wherever it goes Before the gore Around and and around and around and around 4,000 years, and now we're here: The mirrors Man and Mr. And it might be another million years Until I see to hear But this and that, The dance of dances Comes again And ebbs and flows It's not as random As it is sporadic And it's not that deep But it's also keeping secrets That precede this realm Or Space and time Or name or face And body, souls and mind. It could be another million years, But it comes around, It comes around It could be getting wider, But it's steady going down and out It comes around when it comes around 27, were it ended Now it's umpteen years into the after life And we're shadows now Just projections of such, But it wasn't once More than just a thought, Becomes a story All the world was just the thought And then a song, The dance that came along Is simply steady moving Is simple steady moving. All of the world, Was just a thought. Watch with one eye open only First the right And then the left Covered over with one closed palm So you know how old you go One foot forward And no coals to walk over Rolling rolling, Your role is One off, Now too off Now too late But what you process Is your whole world over The goal for the gold? Oh, no, Warm Sundays Try to warn her While her heart is open To fucking close it Keep your friends close And your Fallons closer. There's no trust in the golden auras There's no honor in golden globes If you don't work for them Know doors open and close And open and close And you don't blow smoke, But you just keep moving forward [The Festival Project ™ ] Just the idea if him will kill you Whether with guilt or otherwise, And now you know And now you know You're on no sugar till the goal You got your cake and ate it, too Oh, the way he cries in the confines of my mind The blood would curdle The tears that seared my soul disk through the wall with every color If his was a shoulder to cry on, If God was a cover for longing Yo. Where the fuck did Patrick come from? He just showed up. I don't think he owns me so much As I want to know I don't think I'm lonely As much as it's I'm alone What are you looking at Well, I don't know yet What are you asking? I can't. There's a mask there What I want to know is, What is this pain? What is this pain in him? What is this pain in this? What kind of psychic sense That lives in my back; I just hope that's the last of it What a weird kid. Core Concept: "Enter The Multiverse" (ETM) is a living, evolving meta-narrative that documents the ontological fluidity of reality itself. It functions as a grand experiment, proposing that all perceived realities – fictional, historical, and contemporary – exist as vibrational frequencies within an infinite cosmic tapestry. ETM doesn't just feature alternate worlds; it explores the mechanics of their existence, their interconnectedness, and the profound implications for consciousness. It blends high-concept quantum physics with ancient spiritual metaphysics. It includes creatures such as shapeshifters (like Gerald and potentially Jimmy Fallon), fairies, and monsters. Integration of Real-Life Figures: ETM famously integrates real-life celebrities (from A-list icons like Oprah Winfrey, Beyoncé, Janet Jackson, Madonna, Billie Eilish, Finneas, Eddie Murphy, Christopher Walken, Johnny Depp, Charlie Sheen, Katt Williams, and Whoopi Goldberg, to late-night hosts and media personalities like Tina Fey and Jimmy Fallon). ETM posits that these individuals, often without their conscious awareness, are either key nodal points in the multiversal fabric, accidental conduits for interdimensional energies, or even unwitting "Lightworkers" whose public personas are part of a larger cosmic script. You son of a bitch. Can you do that?! Can you do that? I can do— anything I want— Really? Except that. Oh?! And why's this?! Because I don't want to. But if you could, you would. I can— I just— Oh really. I'm sure there are reasons— besides the obvious —I'm sure— Moral ones. Almost Sam was a safe bet Almost mark John was a good lad Almost once was the Ireland's best, And I guess with the beat of the drum, I ponder Ponder to the beat of the Pity my pocket, much Pity the fool, if you're. It put b perfect; Get in the picture, Just to cut you out of it If I close my eyes one time, Even just for a little while Take me right off and away Take me right off and away And I bet with the task, you can't have handled it I bet to run better you'd forget your purpose I guess I'm a purist- pure problems, the pussy car l Put it to sleep, Or just— in a waste basket I'm so confused, ya'll, I got on the train. Of course. And nothing was at all interesting until this nigga got on With a samurai sword And a Trader Joe's clutch Pick a side! You can't get on the What the fuck am I looking at You tel me I don't know. You see that. I wish I didn't. Take it all in. I— Okay. This is gross What is the state of New York today? L Infected. Corrupt. Disingenuous. What is the state of New York today No identity No indegenous Murder me Leave me to drown In the tides of the ocean Just let me sink That's the only way to Bury me, With this murderous, traitorous Listen, if you will To a story ne'er told, But often sung And often rang like moons as bells Often thought, but never spoken Often brought up, But never put down Come around, will you I'll tell you a tale of a glorious story The take of all time, and as you listen, These words and this whispers will mend with your spirit, Then cease to exist with it Listen Celebrating resonances Has no effect. Yet I haven't even messaged any I haven't even lets a message yet I've just been celebrating resonances I haven't noticed any difference her. Only reflections on the way you get affexted How to get the guy at the bar— aunt you just lean on the bar Maybe you just sit at the bar Maybe you just be at the bar; How to get the guy at the bar Maybe you just stare at the bare Sit right there at the bare Maybe have a care at the bar Don't share at the bar Several small disaster. Why the fuck Am I alive I might as just well die I should have never made Pasquale Rotella one of my role models. —then again. This is before I really knew who he was, or what he was about— and at the end of the day, the truth of the matter is, nobody can ever really know who he really was, or what he was really about. Semitus, Semitus Relax the semitones Verdis Quo varitus You still aren't coming through! Varuq de Adonai Semitus, Semitus Verdis Quo, Veritus You still aren't coming through Cover up Cover up You still aren't coming through! Tau Kappa Epslilon You still aren't coming through Kappa Kappa epsilon, You still aren't coming through Kappa Delta Epsilon, you still aren't coming through MR. REDUNDANT, RAINBOW KITTEN SUPRISE– But IN AN UNASSUMING IRISH BAR in DRUNKEN HARMONY surrounding a piano played by what appears to be… An exceptionally tall leprechaun? I wouldn't know. I wasn't. [invited] Enchilada muffins Ah nah, I'm in Manhattan. I almost forgot what that was like. What a head change. More like a change of heart. What's this, a song? More like, I just don't know yet One day this will all be gone For now this is just a poem. How to wear Santa yellow: don't That took avoid anount of forever. That took a long punch of time That took a good bit of forever And now you're mine, You're mine, you're mine That took a good bit of forever, And now I'm on your mind That took a long bit of forever But now, I'm not counting time And now you're mine Now you're mine Now you're mine Now you're kine Jack in the box You really like to think you're smart, don't you? You really like to get your way? I can't Blame you But baby, I can't tame you LEAN WIT IT, ROCK WIT IT–BUT VIKING PIRATES. lol dumb “Nobody's really going to take that ad in the same way I am, are they?” I had reached a breaking point. I was going to let the world make me go mad because being good wasn't working and being bad seemed like my only option. Should I get a vape? Grab a drink? Fuck a friend? The truth was, none of the above would suffice, but in truth I felt the hate and rapid fire of judgement in cruelty in that whatever voice inside my head posing as Jimmy Fallon always seemed to be right. I had been replaced. People will try to feed you. Dont you see Because People will try to defeat you And they will fail Back to the wall Because after all It was you who needed me. After all, Over all, It was not a cacauphony, It was an apostrophe. How preposterous. Don't you see the weight of it, With what you made of it all, It was fly over fall And you chose the first. Wasn't it something of a hallmark moment That you went for the donut, And still came out With a basket of apples? Indeed, a crisis, In fact, You're there again In fact Beware of her It's obvious That it's not her fault It's just not the right time It's just not the right te, it's just not the right time When all they need if your compliance And all the my want is your attention And don't you see, it's just applied physics I'll take Literally Whatever I can get But you already knew that I needed you to need to know You know you knew But you already blue that And i'n already blue balled, So send me a bluebell It's nothing new, hell But it's crucial that I Screw you We all go to work in a toolbox My dear did What on earth are you doing in The fourth dimension?! I thought things were kind of strange… We interrupt this orogramme to bring you a live broadcast of a current alien invasion—breaking news— If you jump I might just jump Don't jump If you jump I might jump Same here If you jump I might jump I'll jump Don't jump Same here I might just jump 311-231-25900 311-231-26867 JIMMY FALLON pours himself a tall glass of WHATEVER— this is clearly one of those hype celebrity-curated brands of liquor meant to be hip and chic— a luxurious black-label bottle of fine liquor which literally, in bold white lettering, simply says WHATEVER; next to it on the oak wood table is another bottle of WHATEVER— a clear liquor, however with a white label and black lettering. This is clearly someone's brand, although— in the confines of a murky and dimly lit office, oppulent as it is— this is no plug, and there are no cameras, no audience. JIMMY FALLON knows he is about to be murdered, and as the dark liquid— perhaps a rum of some sort— glides over the barreled rocks in his glass, he calmly lets out a subtle sigh of exasperation. These are surely his last moments. {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project™ ] {Enter The Multiverse} L E G E N D S: ICONS Tales of A Superstar DJ The Secret Life of Sunnï Blū Ascension Deathwish -Ū. Copyright © The Festival Project, Inc. ™ | Copyright The Complex Collective © 2019-2025 ™ All Rights Reserved. -Ū.

{Enter The Multiverse} S11E002

Play Episode Listen Later Jul 16, 2025 22:35

Every time I take him in I must remember the best thing That have ever happened to him As he said And whether or not the band Wraps around the bent and broken digit I just simply remember that, I'm just infatuated as a friend I mark it like a mantra Just as adequately as the director Calls to action All the actors at the set; With no resentments We're all just doing our jobs All just doing our jobs We're all just doing our… Lessons. Come back. Not quite. It's not (Uh) There (Where you want it) Hold on. (Yeah) Sit tight (Where) I don't want to spoil any of it Boil all the letters Burning all the bridges Sitting at the forest (Where) There's the alter (Where) Really you didn't recognize The moment when it happened But it's been pinpointed (Where) —but where is it? Cut to commercial But don't let it hurt you All of a sudden. My eyes aren't his, This isn't witchcraft It's just a glitch Did you miss an interview? Or is it that you're just disinterested Or disintegrated Integration, integers and interference Running backs and runners, Gymnasts, models, other lovers Alcoholics Now it's not so daunting, comic I'm also sort of off and autistic Obsessive with narrow vision But glimpses of the ever bending present Is indeed a gift To know I left the letter Letting it get soaking wet Before they ever even read it Know the news, Wave the wand, Wind the whales, Dig the hole Burn the bridge, Burn the ace Throw the cards, Get the day over with and won't you know There's Something wrong I think it's simple to tell The wind will whistle when It's good to win again There are Ten men to a collar Ten phones to a number One call to a voicemail And all of them know her Now, take it all back before the bathwater stagnates Would you make it in this day and age? No, I'm glad that you hate me. 4,000 years later and all of a sudden The pact is clear and concise As if As it As if Turn it on its head a bit And light another candle Get the glitch out of your Obsession with the asshole And wrap you head around it Found a sweater Pick it up and pray that it just Isn't bewitched, But sickness is sickness Whatever it is This is comfort food A comfort blanket If I hate myself enough Then all it does Is put the elf back on the shelf The trophy back inside the case My eyes go back inside my head And everything I ever thought Just stopped And disappears into the heavens Wherever it goes Before the gore Around and and around and around and around 4,000 years, and now we're here: The mirrors Man and Mr. And it might be another million years Until I see to hear But this and that, The dance of dances Comes again And ebbs and flows It's not as random As it is sporadic And it's not that deep But it's also keeping secrets That precede this realm Or Space and time Or name or face And body, souls and mind. It could be another million years, But it comes around, It comes around It could be getting wider, But it's steady going down and out It comes around when it comes around 27, were it ended Now it's umpteen years into the after life And we're shadows now Just projections of such, But it wasn't once More than just a thought, Becomes a story All the world was just the thought And then a song, The dance that came along Is simply steady moving Is simple steady moving. All of the world, Was just a thought. Watch with one eye open only First the right And then the left Covered over with one closed palm So you know how old you go One foot forward And no coals to walk over Rolling rolling, Your role is One off, Now too off Now too late But what you process Is your whole world over The goal for the gold? Oh, no, Warm Sundays Try to warn her While her heart is open To fucking close it Keep your friends close And your Fallons closer. There's no trust in the golden auras There's no honor in golden globes If you don't work for them Know doors open and close And open and close And you don't blow smoke, But you just keep moving forward [The Festival Project ™ ] Just the idea if him will kill you Whether with guilt or otherwise, And now you know And now you know You're on no sugar till the goal You got your cake and ate it, too Oh, the way he cries in the confines of my mind The blood would curdle The tears that seared my soul disk through the wall with every color If his was a shoulder to cry on, If God was a cover for longing Yo. Where the fuck did Patrick come from? He just showed up. I don't think he owns me so much As I want to know I don't think I'm lonely As much as it's I'm alone What are you looking at Well, I don't know yet What are you asking? I can't. There's a mask there What I want to know is, What is this pain? What is this pain in him? What is this pain in this? What kind of psychic sense That lives in my back; I just hope that's the last of it What a weird kid. Core Concept: "Enter The Multiverse" (ETM) is a living, evolving meta-narrative that documents the ontological fluidity of reality itself. It functions as a grand experiment, proposing that all perceived realities – fictional, historical, and contemporary – exist as vibrational frequencies within an infinite cosmic tapestry. ETM doesn't just feature alternate worlds; it explores the mechanics of their existence, their interconnectedness, and the profound implications for consciousness. It blends high-concept quantum physics with ancient spiritual metaphysics. It includes creatures such as shapeshifters (like Gerald and potentially Jimmy Fallon), fairies, and monsters. Integration of Real-Life Figures: ETM famously integrates real-life celebrities (from A-list icons like Oprah Winfrey, Beyoncé, Janet Jackson, Madonna, Billie Eilish, Finneas, Eddie Murphy, Christopher Walken, Johnny Depp, Charlie Sheen, Katt Williams, and Whoopi Goldberg, to late-night hosts and media personalities like Tina Fey and Jimmy Fallon). ETM posits that these individuals, often without their conscious awareness, are either key nodal points in the multiversal fabric, accidental conduits for interdimensional energies, or even unwitting "Lightworkers" whose public personas are part of a larger cosmic script. You son of a bitch. Can you do that?! Can you do that? I can do— anything I want— Really? Except that. Oh?! And why's this?! Because I don't want to. But if you could, you would. I can— I just— Oh really. I'm sure there are reasons— besides the obvious —I'm sure— Moral ones. Almost Sam was a safe bet Almost mark John was a good lad Almost once was the Ireland's best, And I guess with the beat of the drum, I ponder Ponder to the beat of the Pity my pocket, much Pity the fool, if you're. It put b perfect; Get in the picture, Just to cut you out of it If I close my eyes one time, Even just for a little while Take me right off and away Take me right off and away And I bet with the task, you can't have handled it I bet to run better you'd forget your purpose I guess I'm a purist- pure problems, the pussy car l Put it to sleep, Or just— in a waste basket I'm so confused, ya'll, I got on the train. Of course. And nothing was at all interesting until this nigga got on With a samurai sword And a Trader Joe's clutch Pick a side! You can't get on the What the fuck am I looking at You tel me I don't know. You see that. I wish I didn't. Take it all in. I— Okay. This is gross What is the state of New York today? L Infected. Corrupt. Disingenuous. What is the state of New York today No identity No indegenous Murder me Leave me to drown In the tides of the ocean Just let me sink That's the only way to Bury me, With this murderous, traitorous Listen, if you will To a story ne'er told, But often sung And often rang like moons as bells Often thought, but never spoken Often brought up, But never put down Come around, will you I'll tell you a tale of a glorious story The take of all time, and as you listen, These words and this whispers will mend with your spirit, Then cease to exist with it Listen Celebrating resonances Has no effect. Yet I haven't even messaged any I haven't even lets a message yet I've just been celebrating resonances I haven't noticed any difference her. Only reflections on the way you get affexted How to get the guy at the bar— aunt you just lean on the bar Maybe you just sit at the bar Maybe you just be at the bar; How to get the guy at the bar Maybe you just stare at the bare Sit right there at the bare Maybe have a care at the bar Don't share at the bar Several small disaster. Why the fuck Am I alive I might as just well die I should have never made Pasquale Rotella one of my role models. —then again. This is before I really knew who he was, or what he was about— and at the end of the day, the truth of the matter is, nobody can ever really know who he really was, or what he was really about. Semitus, Semitus Relax the semitones Verdis Quo varitus You still aren't coming through! Varuq de Adonai Semitus, Semitus Verdis Quo, Veritus You still aren't coming through Cover up Cover up You still aren't coming through! Tau Kappa Epslilon You still aren't coming through Kappa Kappa epsilon, You still aren't coming through Kappa Delta Epsilon, you still aren't coming through MR. REDUNDANT, RAINBOW KITTEN SUPRISE– But IN AN UNASSUMING IRISH BAR in DRUNKEN HARMONY surrounding a piano played by what appears to be… An exceptionally tall leprechaun? I wouldn't know. I wasn't. [invited] Enchilada muffins Ah nah, I'm in Manhattan. I almost forgot what that was like. What a head change. More like a change of heart. What's this, a song? More like, I just don't know yet One day this will all be gone For now this is just a poem. How to wear Santa yellow: don't That took avoid anount of forever. That took a long punch of time That took a good bit of forever And now you're mine, You're mine, you're mine That took a good bit of forever, And now I'm on your mind That took a long bit of forever But now, I'm not counting time And now you're mine Now you're mine Now you're mine Now you're kine Jack in the box You really like to think you're smart, don't you? You really like to get your way? I can't Blame you But baby, I can't tame you LEAN WIT IT, ROCK WIT IT–BUT VIKING PIRATES. lol dumb “Nobody's really going to take that ad in the same way I am, are they?” I had reached a breaking point. I was going to let the world make me go mad because being good wasn't working and being bad seemed like my only option. Should I get a vape? Grab a drink? Fuck a friend? The truth was, none of the above would suffice, but in truth I felt the hate and rapid fire of judgement in cruelty in that whatever voice inside my head posing as Jimmy Fallon always seemed to be right. I had been replaced. People will try to feed you. Dont you see Because People will try to defeat you And they will fail Back to the wall Because after all It was you who needed me. After all, Over all, It was not a cacauphony, It was an apostrophe. How preposterous. Don't you see the weight of it, With what you made of it all, It was fly over fall And you chose the first. Wasn't it something of a hallmark moment That you went for the donut, And still came out With a basket of apples? Indeed, a crisis, In fact, You're there again In fact Beware of her It's obvious That it's not her fault It's just not the right time It's just not the right te, it's just not the right time When all they need if your compliance And all the my want is your attention And don't you see, it's just applied physics I'll take Literally Whatever I can get But you already knew that I needed you to need to know You know you knew But you already blue that And i'n already blue balled, So send me a bluebell It's nothing new, hell But it's crucial that I Screw you We all go to work in a toolbox My dear did What on earth are you doing in The fourth dimension?! I thought things were kind of strange… We interrupt this orogramme to bring you a live broadcast of a current alien invasion—breaking news— If you jump I might just jump Don't jump If you jump I might jump Same here If you jump I might jump I'll jump Don't jump Same here I might just jump 311-231-25900 311-231-26867 JIMMY FALLON pours himself a tall glass of WHATEVER— this is clearly one of those hype celebrity-curated brands of liquor meant to be hip and chic— a luxurious black-label bottle of fine liquor which literally, in bold white lettering, simply says WHATEVER; next to it on the oak wood table is another bottle of WHATEVER— a clear liquor, however with a white label and black lettering. This is clearly someone's brand, although— in the confines of a murky and dimly lit office, oppulent as it is— this is no plug, and there are no cameras, no audience. JIMMY FALLON knows he is about to be murdered, and as the dark liquid— perhaps a rum of some sort— glides over the barreled rocks in his glass, he calmly lets out a subtle sigh of exasperation. These are surely his last moments. {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project™ ] {Enter The Multiverse} L E G E N D S: ICONS Tales of A Superstar DJ The Secret Life of Sunnï Blū Ascension Deathwish -Ū. Copyright © The Festival Project, Inc. ™ | Copyright The Complex Collective © 2019-2025 ™ All Rights Reserved. -Ū.

off rhythm laughter. [the c o l o r s edition]

education body golden hosts laughter rhythm stealing copyright jimmy fallon world trade center rapidly idk hahaha robert greene sunn strike force five

Play Episode Listen Later Jul 16, 2025 3:33

[The Festival Project ™ ] Look, I've got some… time. How much time we talking? Enough. Alright, what's that make us? A deal. Alright. But you have to be quiet about it. Body is a minimum concern But accolades, achievements, Education— If you want to know, A billion's the goal— There's a goldmine full of pretty, perfect women But what are you worth, And where is your value What are you, earth, sir? Where are your manners, and What are your limits, And who are your partners— The son is the prize, And the reward, A daughter Now what are you on? I still don't know what you're on about. The show of the shelf life is done, And finally, All the hazards are uncrossed You know what you've done And you know what to do And you know who you are And you know what you want So the time for the gripping Has come down upon us The seams that are ripping Are nothing short of humongous How's that for a tadpole to a whole frog!? Watch it, turtle monster Before I put you down to run, And forgot what I had before Besides a gun And a habit to write And a real dark home And indeed, the words were also dark But written golden Golden shark Upon a park bench Put you back but don't you know To take a flash drive from a DJ Is much like Stealing a surfer's wetsuit It just like, Bad karma, man It's bad karma, Mark . I wrote— a passbook— where is it? You wrote— what? Where is it? Mi wrote it! Where is it? Wrote what? I wrote everything! I don't remember writing any [passbook] I'm a writer! A writer?! Oh, come on, Jimmy! Don't “Jimmy” me! You're starting to sound like… Wait a minute. Ah. Tina?! Don't be angry! Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh! I knew It! You didn't know anything, you were yelling at me like I'm that old lady! You are that old lady! *hugely gasps* DREW BARRYMORE Oh, you are so exorbitantly fucked. Where is she?! You have a— habit of always asking me these things before I really know the answer lately. Where's the scribe!? Is that who she is? You are supposed to be my predecessor! Stop being angry! I'm—very upset— And let go of me. This is aging me. Rapidly. Yay. Listen, I don't know what the fuck I said but— I need a liaison. For what exactly. Anything, apparently. Oh shit. The crazy thing about this one is— Yo Tina Fey is an almost elitist sort of shapeshifter. She's so sub —fuck. [—bliminal with it.] Someone keeps interfering with my signal. They can do that. They can broadcast Saturday night live to the entire world from the top of the World Trade Center, they can do anything. That's perfect— telemetry! Or just— telepathy. In a not so far dimension for continuity piurposes. J.Pierpoint Morgan— No, not yet, Oh okay. THE STRIKE FORCE FIVE have gathered in an office with a collection of other HOSTS. JIMMY FALLON sits leaned back on the couch in an unassuming hoodie, with the hood pulled over his face. He seems younger than usual, and somewhat bored. I knew his hair wasn't falling out anytime soon— —damn those genetics— So still I slowly but carefully salt and peppered each and every streaking strand that sprung forth from his wisdom. Hahaha! Yo. Crazy. Somebody needs to kill this bitch. It's too late. She can't be stopped! No! What! Crazy. She's… too powerful. I agree. I sort of accepted the relative silence in my apartment as if they'd gotten what they wanted— seeing Aliocha's number over and over as a way to succumb eventually to my inherent death— and at least then there would be peace. As it were, I was enjoying my time reading the New Testament Psalms above any of my other reading materials, which included a book on music business and even a portfolio of festival stages; this seemed of no mere coincidence, but as if of course the books were placed in my path within time that i'd find them returning from my radio show–and I did. But more fascinating than any book on the music business, or seduction, or the laws of human nature, or the art of war, was a hotel copy of the new testament, to which I took an immediate liking, with the understanding of this religious texts translations that I supposed writing almost seemingly endlesslessly myself had simplified. It seemed less boring than the last time I'd read it–and then again, the last time i'd read it, it wasn't as deliberately poignant as it sat now in the palm of my hands. I spent more time with it than the other books, although I loved Robert Greene, and even though i'd had the art of seduction on repeat by way of audio book, reading it through now seemed almost disturbing in nature, because on so many levels, there wasn't a time in my life where I could think to that this art didn't apply. Indeed, I was a true romantic, and then had in a way obliged myself to be seduced over and over, if not for the sake of the art. But now, in my own actual sexual prime, despite my cellibacy, nearly leaking the fluidity of sexuality with me wherever I went no matter how hard I tried to mask it …whether anyone wanted to admit it or not, and actually, more often than not I did notice t[o]— To what?! Idk, it just ends. UGHHHHHH. {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project™ ] {Enter The Multiverse} L E G E N D S: ICONS Tales of A Superstar DJ The Secret Life of Sunnï Blū Ascension Deathwish -Ū. Copyright © The Festival Project, Inc. ™ | Copyright The Complex Collective © 2019-2025 ™ All Rights Reserved. -Ū.

off rhythm laughter [the c o l o r s edition]

education body golden hosts laughter rhythm stealing copyright jimmy fallon world trade center rapidly idk hahaha robert greene sunn strike force five

Play Episode Listen Later Jul 16, 2025 3:33

[The Festival Project ™ ] Look, I've got some… time. How much time we talking? Enough. Alright, what's that make us? A deal. Alright. But you have to be quiet about it. Body is a minimum concern But accolades, achievements, Education— If you want to know, A billion's the goal— There's a goldmine full of pretty, perfect women But what are you worth, And where is your value What are you, earth, sir? Where are your manners, and What are your limits, And who are your partners— The son is the prize, And the reward, A daughter Now what are you on? I still don't know what you're on about. The show of the shelf life is done, And finally, All the hazards are uncrossed You know what you've done And you know what to do And you know who you are And you know what you want So the time for the gripping Has come down upon us The seams that are ripping Are nothing short of humongous How's that for a tadpole to a whole frog!? Watch it, turtle monster Before I put you down to run, And forgot what I had before Besides a gun And a habit to write And a real dark home And indeed, the words were also dark But written golden Golden shark Upon a park bench Put you back but don't you know To take a flash drive from a DJ Is much like Stealing a surfer's wetsuit It just like, Bad karma, man It's bad karma, Mark . I wrote— a passbook— where is it? You wrote— what? Where is it? Mi wrote it! Where is it? Wrote what? I wrote everything! I don't remember writing any [passbook] I'm a writer! A writer?! Oh, come on, Jimmy! Don't “Jimmy” me! You're starting to sound like… Wait a minute. Ah. Tina?! Don't be angry! Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh! I knew It! You didn't know anything, you were yelling at me like I'm that old lady! You are that old lady! *hugely gasps* DREW BARRYMORE Oh, you are so exorbitantly fucked. Where is she?! You have a— habit of always asking me these things before I really know the answer lately. Where's the scribe!? Is that who she is? You are supposed to be my predecessor! Stop being angry! I'm—very upset— And let go of me. This is aging me. Rapidly. Yay. Listen, I don't know what the fuck I said but— I need a liaison. For what exactly. Anything, apparently. Oh shit. The crazy thing about this one is— Yo Tina Fey is an almost elitist sort of shapeshifter. She's so sub —fuck. [—bliminal with it.] Someone keeps interfering with my signal. They can do that. They can broadcast Saturday night live to the entire world from the top of the World Trade Center, they can do anything. That's perfect— telemetry! Or just— telepathy. In a not so far dimension for continuity piurposes. J.Pierpoint Morgan— No, not yet, Oh okay. THE STRIKE FORCE FIVE have gathered in an office with a collection of other HOSTS. JIMMY FALLON sits leaned back on the couch in an unassuming hoodie, with the hood pulled over his face. He seems younger than usual, and somewhat bored. I knew his hair wasn't falling out anytime soon— —damn those genetics— So still I slowly but carefully salt and peppered each and every streaking strand that sprung forth from his wisdom. Hahaha! Yo. Crazy. Somebody needs to kill this bitch. It's too late. She can't be stopped! No! What! Crazy. She's… too powerful. I agree. I sort of accepted the relative silence in my apartment as if they'd gotten what they wanted— seeing Aliocha's number over and over as a way to succumb eventually to my inherent death— and at least then there would be peace. As it were, I was enjoying my time reading the New Testament Psalms above any of my other reading materials, which included a book on music business and even a portfolio of festival stages; this seemed of no mere coincidence, but as if of course the books were placed in my path within time that i'd find them returning from my radio show–and I did. But more fascinating than any book on the music business, or seduction, or the laws of human nature, or the art of war, was a hotel copy of the new testament, to which I took an immediate liking, with the understanding of this religious texts translations that I supposed writing almost seemingly endlesslessly myself had simplified. It seemed less boring than the last time I'd read it–and then again, the last time i'd read it, it wasn't as deliberately poignant as it sat now in the palm of my hands. I spent more time with it than the other books, although I loved Robert Greene, and even though i'd had the art of seduction on repeat by way of audio book, reading it through now seemed almost disturbing in nature, because on so many levels, there wasn't a time in my life where I could think to that this art didn't apply. Indeed, I was a true romantic, and then had in a way obliged myself to be seduced over and over, if not for the sake of the art. But now, in my own actual sexual prime, despite my cellibacy, nearly leaking the fluidity of sexuality with me wherever I went no matter how hard I tried to mask it …whether anyone wanted to admit it or not, and actually, more often than not I did notice t[o]— To what?! Idk, it just ends. UGHHHHHH. {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project™ ] {Enter The Multiverse} L E G E N D S: ICONS Tales of A Superstar DJ The Secret Life of Sunnï Blū Ascension Deathwish -Ū. Copyright © The Festival Project, Inc. ™ | Copyright The Complex Collective © 2019-2025 ™ All Rights Reserved. -Ū.

Trump's Cult Turns Against Him Amidst Epstein Files Flip-Flop | David Corenswet, Lewis Capaldi | Monday, July 14

tv late night surge ratings jimmy fallon jimmy kimmel jon stewart stephen colbert plummet greg gutfeld gutfeld

Play Episode Listen Later Jul 15, 2025 28:22

Jimmy addresses the latest news, like Trump losing control over his MAGA members amidst Epstein file contradictions, before speaking with David Corenswet and Lewis Capaldi.

Late-Night Ratings PLUMMET as Jon Stewart & Gutfeld Ratings SURGE

Behind the Line

Play Episode Listen Later Jul 15, 2025 14:24

Jimmy Kimmel, Jimmy Fallon and Stephen Colbert continue to struggle in late-night. Late-night ratings for the broadcast networks declined double-digits...while Jon Stewart and Greg Gutfeld saw drastic increases. We reveal and react to late-night TV ratings. We explain why the biggest problem in late-night television is the hosts...on the broadcast networks. We compare clips of Jon Stewart and Jimmy Kimmel...to show the difference between hosts. We also discuss the future of late-night...and explain why Jimmy Kimmel and Stephen Colbert could be fired next year. SUBSCRIBE TO BEHIND THE LINE - SHORTS: https://www.youtube.com/@btlshorts-84

VOL 118 | Spritz Season | Crazy Birthday Stories, Karaoke Risks & The Future of AI | Adulthood Pod

Play Episode Listen Later Jul 14, 2025 74:21

Hey, Comedy Lovers! ✤ Welcome to "Ian Lara" ⭐ All advice is bad advice, please do adult things and put this podcast on in the background.

[005.]

Play Episode Listen Later Jul 12, 2025 62:44

For awhile I thought I wanted to be on SNL. I really thought “maybe I could do that.” Especially after all the 50th anniversary specials and documentaries and stuff, I was like “This is speaking to me.” “I should do this” “I've done stand up exactly five times!” “I should be on SNL. Yes.” So i started to think about it; I got really into it, actually, I'm like “Yeah, i just gotta be really good st stand up, I'll climb the ladder…” So i start watching more SNL, I'm playing along, i'm like “yeah, i'm gonna do this”, And i start studying the history, and the people– I get to know everybody who's ever been on the show… And that's when I realized, “Wait a second. I can't be What's the short version of the joke? Uh. I can't be on SNL. You know why? [Why?” Well, I don't know– it either goes. “Because i'm a Ravenclaw.” or “Because I'm not a Gryffendor” I think it's that. See, almost everyone would immediately get the reference to harry potter if I said “gryffendor” It was “I'm a hufflepuff.” But i'm not a Hufflepuff. Jimmy Fallon is a Hufflepuff. Sshh–that's later. That's why I was breaking down the joke. Ok. So how's it go? So I start getting real familiar with all the players, And that's when I realized, “Wait. I can't be on SNL!” Goddammit–I'm a Ravenclaw. Almost everyone who's ever been on SNL is a Gryffendor! Everyone! Except Seth Meyers: He's definitely a Slythern (--and Jimmy Fallon– He's very obviously a hufflepuff– And they both have their own shows now so this says something. Very obviously, almost everyone else– Gryffendor. [Insert Crowd Work?] –Perhaps… You don't think so? Watch. You'll see. I can't be on SNL. I look, all I see is Gryffendor, a couple of Slytherin, and a very obvious HUfflepuff– But no ravenclaw! Goddammit! Maybe we're too analytical. I don't know. I'm not a Gryffindor. Not a hater. Just not a gryffendor. It's a good house. But i'm a ravenclaw. Why the fuck am I writing jokes? Cause it's Saturday. Yo, but here's this dude–my favorite comedian of all time–and he's almost entirely improvisational. But here I am, when I go on stage, and I just go blank. I can talk for hours to myself but suddenly i'm in front of people on a stage and I'm not myself. For whatever reason, I feel myself becoming whoever they think I am–and I can't know it–but I can feel it. So i stopped performing stand up, because most importantly, new york just simply wasn't funny to me anymore–I just didn't like it, or at least the part of it I was seeing–but maybe, the part of it that I was seeing was the only part I could see, because i was just myself. Almost as if I didn't deserve midtown–but didn't enjoy the rest of it knowing it was there. NT. THE LIBRARY. AT DAWN. Do you want to ride my little pink pony? Ah, come on! Ahem— do you want to ride my little pink pony? -[a moment of begrudging hesitation, before he finally obliges] Ah, yes; yes. I would like to ride your little pink pony. Well, then. The admiral slips the general a pink bank note, which at first glance appeera to be a 5 dollar bill. It slips into his hand as he remains composed. Butultimately, he seems nervous, and somewhat defeated. Later, sucka. The admiral pumps his collar and walks away, straightening his back and giving a clever smirk as he walks away smugly— the general stands and also pops his collar a bit as his back stiffens and he stands for a moment in the center of the grand central ballroom; a luxurious dining hall, which is also still even more importantly, an wxquisite library. He turns to one of the shelves, passing by a waiter with a golden platter, who offers him o'derves; even the waiter seems a big smug, and the general, though keeping his composure, squints with a resentment, opting instead for a cocktail on the table beside him; it is clearly not his cocktail and now he is reflecting this smugness, the waiter shrugs it off and in an instant he is alone again in the shimmering opulence of the room; it's hard to believe this palace of sorts is hidden deep inside the crevices and hidden alleyways of a— —ahem— Sorry. You're right. —tucked away in a secret location. He turns to one of the shelves and runs his fingers along the grand row of books which happen to be at eye level; knowing the exact volume at which he places his index fingerc, tapping it above a blue book with a golden embodiment and a red seal; the book appears of course to be somewhat magical in nature, and he as well taps the cover three times before opening it to nearly the center, placing the l pink currency within its pages, and shutting it intently; as he does, the startling discovery ther an very smal man has been standing behind him for an undetermined amount of time… he jumps, but the smaller man does not merely even flinch. CONSTABLE Meow, goes the cat! GENERAL Agh… And bark goes the dog. CONSTABLE Ahaha— And what of the mouse? GENERAL The mouse calls not at all (In unison) Because the mouse has gone!/. CONSTABLE Aha! GENERAL Yeah, just. {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project™ ] {Enter The Multiverse} L E G E N D S: ICONS Tales of A Superstar DJ The Secret Life of Sunnï Blū Ascension Deathwish -Ū. Copyright © The Festival Project, Inc. ™ | Copyright The Complex Collective © 2019-2025 ™ All Rights Reserved. -Ū.

saturday night live library copyright jimmy fallon nt ahem hufflepuff slytherin gryffindor ravenclaw sunn sshh at dawn

[0018.]

Play Episode Listen Later Jul 12, 2025 65:51

Maybe I'm not afraid because it just feels temporary. The noise in the apartment made it easy to let go, and better yet, because of the noise— the only way a pro bono lawyer might speak with me is if I was evicted— then, explaining away that from the day I moved into the apartment my mental health began to spiral and, that recovery from homelessness and having left an abusive relationship became impossible with motorcycles and modified cars circling like buzzards, gangsters slanging on the corner banging music I hated, and an all around environment of unwellness, in which I was unable to cope with the mechanisms of even the simplest tasks, after being bombarded by these hellish people. I was sure that speaking with one sort of lawyer and explaining my heavily documented case would eventually lead to meetings with another kind of lawyer who would see my case and agree that I had been attacked, and severely wounded— and eventually, probably, compensated. It simply wasn't facet of my imagination but seemed there was sort of hate group targeted to stalk and harass me— even in Manhattan, after visiting the Apple Store, a random pair of motorcycles approached and revved their engines thunderously as I walked back to the studio, even startling another passerby, as she shook her head as if to say “that was horrible”, with this look of fear and disgruntlement. It had been two years of this for me, though, and so I was somewhat used to it. It still hurt, but not the way it used to. Inside, sort of like the way a boxer knows how to take a punch because he's trained for it. But this was not my job, and I was not getting paid, unless I could actually put my mind together enough to assimilate some sort of strategy; a lawsuit against the property management and the city itself for allowing the harassment, and at the end of the day, it didn't much care who was responsible, and whether it was politics or street theatre— I just wanted it to stop. I could honestly say that any sort of legal action was indeed not about the money, but rather an escape. Would I live in New York if I did not have to? Not by any means, anyway, in the way I did. Just the view alone set me off, and anytime one of the foam panels fell out of the window from sun or dust and the lot of cars and busy intersection peered through, a gut wrenching anxiety came over me like the way it did when I first saw it; even then, when I first viewed the apartment, I knew that something bad had happened here before I even moved in— and it was bad, the constant motorcycle attacks, and at one point they were not at all writeable enough off as “normal noise”, the way they used to wait until I was almost a sleep to rip through the block and create sonic booms that sounded like bombs—eventually these kinds of attacks stopped but it was around the first year that I started to realize due to these series of traumas my brain was wired differently.i understood that she's were acts of war, but why? I had no intentions of stirring anything up in this place and honestly, from the start, because I was stuck, I had just wanted to get out. Hold on. I got two jokes. Ok. What was the one about— Oh, it's so simple but since they hate black women so much it would probably make a white audience laugh. My ex punched me so hard, I thought I was going to run for president in 2028. That's it? That's the joke. That not a joke. You're right. That's not a joke. I'm not though. I realized that. Please. Don't hit me. [beat] Unless you hit me hard enough that I actually become the actual president. Then, you're free to assassinate me. Thats the joke? Yeah. What a horrible joke. Yeah. Kind of. Okay. What's the other one? It's the—it's that enter the multiverse joke on the Sean Evans timeline. Ok. (Who is Sean Ryan) Idk. [Sean Ryan was the Showrunner of The Shield, Starring Michael Chiklis and Walton Goggins__which ran from 2001-2007, and also fostered the writing career of Kurt Sutter, who went on to create Sons of Anarchy.] Anyway. One of the contestants from hot ones calls Sean and goes, Sean! And Sean's like: Whaddup? Sean! How do you do this bro? [sean is eating ghost pepper cereal for breakfast with ice cold horchata ) Ew. Nice. It was gonna be milk but SEAN EVANS (Aside) The cinnamon gives it a nice schwing. Apparently, The training for hot ones is a non-stop tolerance-topper. Sean RYAN is always doing his best to outdo himself. Yeaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh! Thats right. Any fucking way. Sean! How do you do this everyday, buddy! Do what? My butthole is burning! I don't have one. You— what? I do not any longer have a butthole. Beg your pardon. I got it removed. What. What. Hold on, it's a multilayer joke. 2x Joke multiplier! Are we still playing this game? OH YEAH! goddamn. I really wanna see this fictional koolaid movie. WHERE'S SETH ROGEN? ROB LOWE is directing an episode of ENTER THE MULTIVERSE. DIRECTOR Quiet on Set! He turns to DRAKE BELL who is reprising his role as TIMMY TURNER. ROB LOWE Sorry, is that triggering to you? Nothing is said but instead he just shoots him a look. really on it with the zingers today. What can I say. I juice fasted and then ate like a normal person so maybe— I don't know. What's that supposed to mean. Everything is temporary. My next run isn't scheduled until after midnight but I might climb on the Peloton for an ironic spin. I owe everyone money. Not in the way that I ever wanted to be this bum, but in the way that all of my jobs have been awful enough that— honestly, I never quit, it just eventually all falls apart. I've been almost fondly remembering the— {Season 5} —summer in Las Vegas I had two awful jobs, no car, no place to live, and One boss who looked like Dillon Francis— And well. INT. LAS VEGAS ATHLETIC CLUB. WHENEVER. ITS OPEN 24 HOURS!!! WHEEEEEE!! Omg that guy looks just like Jimmy Fallon. BEFORE Oh, hi Jimmy. Hey! You finally noticed. I been noticing. You know I'm in a screen, right? You're in all the screens. Not all of them. ALL THE SCREENS A large wall of paneled Televisions hangs above the cardio center. … … MEANWHILE For while, the dude was everywhere. And I mean— Yo! I swear to God— —don't do that! — every time I look at a fucking tv, you're on it! shhh—watch your language! For what! You're on the Telivision, I'm not. You are on the Television! I'm not! —look just— trust me I don't have enough time before we're about to cut to co—[mmerciial!] [cuts to commercial] That dude is weird. Hm. That dude does look like Jimmy Fallon. — and one boss that looked like— Well, you get it. Yes he does. Very much so. Hm. Should I fuck him? Ew! No! What! Gross . No. Take his job! What? This incompetent drunken loser was, for a very short time— my manager. Just then when the car alarm when off, I express my not so subconscious, and must remark To remind my dear audience that this SUPACreature Is exponentially explicit, hence the Sexual exploitation of he who is hereby known As [Not] Jimmy Fallon. He was maybe the worst boss I ever had. If not the worse, definitely one of them. He was always drunk, Slept on the job, Was inappropriately explicit, Sexualized everything, And bitterly racist, Lived with his mother, Had social problems And was, Of course— Completely incompetent. Two hosts sit watching the serason premiere with popped corn. Oh. That's clever That's funny. See, those redactions could have been anybody. They were anybody. M— Jimmy!? Which Jimmy?! Last time I had a visionary dream about Jimmy Kimmel he was holding a white candle. At any rate, they were out of black, and I have no idea what that's supposed to mean, but I can only assume that when any host takes an extended hiatus, it's some kind of Contractual agreement. Ah-hem… Sign it. I don't know… about… that. And why not? This creature is one of the most powerful in the multiverse. [Jimmy Fallon] TINA FEY What. Are you serious. —and that's my time. Just trust me on this— NO. Pretty please! Oh, welL, since you made it pretty. Really? NO. Absolutely not. You are increasingly difficult. I learned to brew at thought at wishing wells Again, I gallop, striving to dance past the forced illusions of a non-corrupt decision, The end is near and also, simply The Division. ENTER THE MULTIVERSE: L E G E N D S — The Rock and And the Kite Part X: The Division Bell Part 10?! Yes. How is it part ten? Where are parts 6 through 9 I don't know. I have no clue. (You have no idea) Oh. I get it. The parenthesis are the voice of God. (It's all the voice of God, These are just more strong dictations.) Fix your diction! Fix your Dick Nixon if it don't swing left; On a finite curve, It switches with any direction, Irregular, my guest; I could have asked that. I have no tact, And no talent, No candles left, I can't relax! I just happen to have What I know I can't stand, And that's— High standards for a man. So I imagined a fantasy. My next run was scheduled for midnight but I'd spent the month suffocating and suffering in waist trainers navigating vampires and I had even been stood over by the actual Devil herself on the subway ride home. What even was the point of running all this way and eating all this well If no matter who I tried to love would really turn to the same old evil thing that wanted me dead in the first place? Being honest, I still didn't know what it was at all— but maybe it was always going to try to bite me no matter what I did. So It didn't matter much when the overdue balance came equal to the amount I needed to purchase club standard CDJs, I didn't care about anything because I was never treated fairly with honest or good intentions. Not even from my birth, or my mother, and perhaps that was the problem. My human perception of the world was trained by this thing who could never really see my value or worth in the way that it would take to be fully loved. Something was always wrong with me, and so something was always wrong with the world. All I knew was, I wasn't panicking though it had been an obvious attack— the email had sent as I orgasmed, after a series of the same old system of stress I'd been in for years— revving engines and long bangs and other methods of keeping me from reaching climax— but it was my body, and so just because I was under surveillance for whatever reason; perhaps they were listening and this self release made them uncomfortable, but I needed it. It had been years since my last loving embrace— since my last touch, or stroke, or kiss— and so yes, while admittedly my senses were out of place, they were also heightened in that I knew what was happening in my apartment was wrong, and the worse it got, the more I kept track of the things that were happening, the better off I'd eventually end up, just by respecting myself and my own time. I needed recovery; running down the the gym to be hatestalker by some half naked model or some egotistical little man throwing and slamming things around was going to do no better for my psyche even with a run considered; instead of a mile of mantras, it would instead become a mile of trying to ignore whatever whoever had followed me into the gym was doing to get my attention. Luckily I had a Peloton in my room and with any luck at all, by the afternoon I'd have all the focus in the world to ride it— but for now I was writing, and thinking, and feeling my insides out after a long month sonic alchemy, which had also resulted in my finally reaching the conclusion that I was indeed being followed around. But why? Lil bitz Yo imagine if Amazon had a comment section. Not like reviews but an actual like— Comment section for the ads and products. Don't act like it wouldn't be the little place to just, like, go. [The Festival Project™ ] {Enter The Multiverse} L E G E N D S: ICONS Tales of A Superstar DJ The Secret Life of Sunnï Blū Ascension Deathwish -Ū. Copyright The Festival Project, Inc. ™ & The Complex Collective © 2015-2025 All Rights Reserved

[0016.] trigger warning

Play Episode Listen Later Jul 12, 2025 86:04

Good people have good friends So maybe I' no good Maybe I'm no good Though I'm luckier than most, I know I just can't cope So maybe I'm no good When's the last time you been to Dimedale? …Timmy? I guess. V.O. I try not to double back on old habits. TIMMY TURNER turns the corner on his motorcycle just a bit too fast— he is clipped by a turning semi truck, a bright blue freighter that unhinges as the headlights blare into his widened eyes under the semi translucent visor of his rainbow swirl pink helmet. V.O. TIMMY TURNER “Try” not to, anyway… {enter the multiverse} I put a terabyte of stored documents and files back into the cloud and suddenly, after my morning run— CUT TO Welcome home, kid. Yeah, I… The jail cell door slams shut. TIMMY TUNER (reprised by Drake Bell) Late 30'e-early 40's is awaiting trial after the stint in the hospital followed by V.O. Detox… …Rehab. Jesus Christ. After his bloodwork revealed lethal levels of multiple intoxicants in his system, and although he was not technically at fault for the accident, he has been charged with driving under the influence, as well as a number of other crimes— However; His black duffel back has mysteriously vanished, And he has not been charged for any of the many possible other crimes considering the also mysterious contents of said bag, which was with him at the time of the accident, but not logged into evidence. MEANWHILE… WALTON GOGGINS?! Yep, that's me. *Mr. Walton GOGGINS. No, get out. What. GET OUT. [The Festival Project ™] A shadowy ass figure appears behind Timmy in his cell. Woah. Hey. COSMO (Jimmy Fallon, in this dimension) Why Jimmy Fallon. I got. *blank stares* I did— a thing. A thing. Fucking magic circles. CRISIS. THE COSMIC AVENGER IS IN DEEP CRISIS. AVERT! Anyway, COSMO Timmy. TIMMY TURNER yeah. COSMO. It's me. TIMMY “You” who? COSMO “Yoo-hoo” classic . TIMMY Ha-ha—very funny—wait— COSMO Uh huh. TIMMY Cosmo?! COSMO Uh huh! TIMMY What! You're, like— COSMO You don't look too good yourself. TIMMY (Irritated) Whatever. Where's Wanda? COSMO Not in high security prison. TIMMY What are you doing here?! COSMO …I'm your roommate. TIMMY What?! COSMO I know, this is an interesting turn of events. TIMMY No it isn't. This is television! (Breaking fourth wall) COSMO (Beat) —you're right. [beat] (Cosmo drifts off) TIMMY Cosmo! Where are your wings?! COSMO (Half asleep) I'm not sleeping! TIMMY Your wings? COSMO I lost them! TIMMY How? COSMO In a poker match TIMMY Permanently?! COSMO Hm? No. Nothing is permanent, but— TIMMY But what?! This is crazy?! What are you doing here?! Where's Wanda. COSMO Listen, about me and Wanda. TIMMY Don't tell me— COSMO Alright, I won't. But listen: TIMMY This is crazy. COSMO It is crazy, but I have a plan. TIMMY Well, what's your plan?! COSMO I still have some magic left. TIMMY Some?! Well what happened? COSMO (Shrugs, at a loss) Look— Timmy. TIMMY This is wild! COSMO I need you to make a wish! TIMMY …what. COSMO A wish. A wish, Timmy! TIMMY Oh, no— not this again. COSMO It's the only way! TIMMY But you're not even my fairy anymore! COSMO Timmy Turner, I will always be your fairy. *sniffs* (Kind of awkward, heartwarming moment— they hug; the guard peeks through the window and squints at them, grimacing) Wide shot of two dudes hugging in prison. TIMMY Okay… COSMO Yeah, let's. TIMMY Yeah. COSMO Anyway, Tim, I need you to make a wish. TIMMY “Tim” don't call me that! COSMO Well, it's weird calling you “Timmy, you're like 40.” TIMMY Yeah, but— COSMO Make a wish, Timmy. [beat] The guard peers in through the window, this time with popped corn TIMMY and COSMO both squint awkwardly. COSMO Uh… TIMMY Yeah, okay— COSMO Hurry. TIMMY I wish… *POOF* Suddenly, Cosmo and Timmy are back in Timmy's old room— not much has changed, but it seems off and kind of odd; TIMMY and COSMO are still— well— aged. Just then, TIMMY'S FATHER enters through the door. TIMMY'S DAD (Chris Parnell) enters, leaning into the door. TIMMY'S DAD Timmy?! TIMMY Uh… DAD! TIMMY'S DAD (He squints suspiciously at Cosmo) …and who's this? TIMMY Uh, this— TIMMY'S DAD …it's Wednesday… isn't it? TIMMY This, uhm… COSMO I'm uh— TIMMY This is my— COSMO Ahem. Parole officer. TIMMY Yeah. TIMMY'S DAD You never cease to disappoint me, son. TIMMY Thanks. TIMMY'S DAD. I'll leave you to it. Before he gets exits, he pauses for a moment and stares into Cosmo // parallel (as) Chris Parnell / as Jimmy Fallon. TIMMY'S DAD (To Cosmo) …do I know you? COSMO No, I don't think so. TIMMY'S DAD Are you sure? COSMO Positive…pretty much. TIMMY'S DAD You're probably right— you just TIMMY Uh, dad— TIMMY'S DAD You look so familiar. COSMO (Flatly) …no, I don't. TIMMY'S DAD No, no— I got it! Wednesday evening poker club?! COSMO TIMMY COSMO That must be it. TIMMY'S DAD I knew it. COSMO …right. TIMMY'S DAD I thought that was you. Anyway, as you were— I'll let you, uh— COSMO Yes! TIMMY'S DAD See you tonight! COSMO You betcha! TIMMY'S DAD (Suddenly coldly, to TIMMY) Timmy. *he shuts the door* TIMMY COSMO TIMMY “Wednesday Evening Poker Club” Where would you even come up with something like that. COSMO The thing is, I do play poker on wednesdays! TIMMY What! COSMO I didn't know that was your dad! TIMMY Yeah, about that; why can my dad see you? COSMO I told you, I lost my magic. TIMMY All of it?! COSMO Obviously not all of it— enough to get us out of that last mess! TIMMY Oh, this is awful. We have to find Wanda! COSMO no, wait! As TIMMY attempts to leave, a loud ringing from his ankle begins to ring; TIMMY'S FATHER returns just to squint, scowling at his son before murmuring TIMMY'S DAD you know the rules. TIMMY steps back inside the room, his father shuts it, at first normally, then slamming it at the last moment. COSMO Yeah, that. TIMMY What is this?! COSMO You're under house arrest! Obviously! TIMMY What!! What gives?! COSMO I granted your wish! TIMMY Like, half of it! COSMO Half is about all I've got—! TIMMY Are you kidding me?! COSMO I wish! TIMMY Geez, why can't you grant you grant your own wishes? COSMO It might totally defeat the purpose. And without Wandaaa TIMMY WHERE'S WANDA?! COSMO I don't know… TIMMY We gotta get out of here. COSMO Well, I can leave. You can't. TIMMY Okay… COSMO Yeah, that's. TIMMY What If I wished for Wanda to be here, then? COSMO … I don't know. TIMMY That's what I'll do. COSMO I don't know, Tim. TIMMY Stop calling me that. COSMO It's very weird calling you “Timmy” TIMMY That's my name. COSMO Whatever! TIMMY I wish Wanda was here! COSMO No! TIMMY What! Why not, COSMO She might get mad. (She will definitely be mad) TIMMY Well, that's my wish. COSMO No! TIMMY That's my wish! Grant it! COSMO Ugh… L E G E N D S WANDA, who has been living her best life as a recent divorcee and retired fairy godmother, is whisked away from her tropical paradise vacation to DIMSDALE, CALIFORNIA, where her ex husband COSMO and former fairy god child, who is now a harshly aged party animal on PAROLE sit nervously as she arrives to greet her. WANDA is furious. {enter the multiverse} Seth MCFARLENE is so Hollywood. SETH ROGEN DONT know where his pants is. SETH MEYERS is trapped in a box with almost no air holes at all And SETH GREENE is the life of the party. [The Festival Project™ ] {Enter The Multiverse} L E G E N D S: ICONS Tales of A Superstar DJ The Secret Life of Sunnï Blū Ascension Deathwish -Ū. Copyright The Festival Project, Inc. ™ & The Complex Collective © 2015-2025 All Rights Reserved

[0015.]

Holmberg's Morning Sickness

Play Episode Listen Later Jul 12, 2025 71:42

Let's see how we feel, after a message from our sponsors. Jesus effing Christ, Jimmy Kimmel—goddamn! Why are you always this fucked UP. (Super fuckedupedly) I'm not, I'm just feel—(belches)— like it! —look like it, okay! Omah Gas. I nuh! Uh. Pedro Pascal? You're right again. Yehy! Well, almost right. What. That character he played on that extremely viral SNL skit— OKAH. Woah. —this is the dimension where he's— —oh my god— Yeah. —UHMYGAH! Cut back to: —look— jus— don't look at me. When you're—lookin at me, like that— okay?! Goddamn, he is fucked up. Yeah. This is critical. What did you do to Jimmy Kimmel? Nothing! Okay! He was just— like that already— you know —you don't know! Honestly he's kinda always, a little… WOOOF! Yowza. WOOF WOOF! JIMMY! DO NOT LICK ME! *panting* WOOF WOOF! AUGHHH. Get him out of here before he pees on the rug. I second that. Comeon, boy— WOOF! DOWN! [he obeys intently] Good Jimmy Kimmel. Good— —RUFINOL. What? [suddenly, JIMMY KIMMEL is human again and answers intently. Yes. It seems the word itself has broken his extreme delirium— —yo, okay, what is going on?! You've got to can this thing What. Cancel it. No way. I want to go. This thing, cannot happen, okay! It can't! Wtf Jimmy Fallon, stop inserting yourself into everything! — Unless it's me. EW. GROSS. Shots fired. No, I would call that a foul ball—Get it. No, Cause. You know. He's a bird, kind of. Oh. You mean, like “Fowl ball” Yeah! You got it! Yeah but not without like, thinking about it— So it doesn't work? It didn't work. Yo, but that part does explain why: CUT TO: No, you're right, I do hate Jimmy Fallon. —a lot. A lot. Okay? —but to be fair, I also hate Brad Pitt in the same way. BRAD PITT …You do? Yes, Brad Pitt i do— Very much, Hate you. BRAD PITT (Tearing up emotionally) Like, a lot? Uhm. Like, more than a lot, I just. BRAD PITT is actually extremely fragile and very emotionally sensitive. Is this a prescription for— fucking roofies?! I— have a, a…medical condition. That requires roofies?! Yes actually. It's very…serious. Shapeshifting is very serious. What kind of medical condition requires roofie-ing yourself. I didn't—I don't—I can't roofie myself, actually. What! No way… Someone else has to administer the dose, okay?! So wait. Uhogh, what the fuck man. This is— [he bites his knuckles nervously, then pats his pocket area, before realizing he is no longer wearing pants. Everyone just shrugs, but he becomes increasingly upset.] Where is my— phone?[more shrugs and blank stares] He quickly shuffles through the room and then the open suitcase of empty prescription bottles, spiraling into a deep void of panic and doubt— then, in an act of desperation and apparent extreme thirst, he reaches for the decorative flower vase, ejects the flowers— never mind that they are thorned roses and he appears to be bleeding without giving this a second thought, and chugs the liquid from the translucent crystal vase in a hearty and impressive glug of chugs; gesturing towards the now empty vase with the subtle remark— [beat] It's just vodka— I always have them do that. He sits down on the edge of the bed and takes a sigh as this seems to have calmed him, besides the trickle of blood running down the vase, which he still grips in one hand while rubbing his forehead with the other in complete distress… He seems to be looking out into the universe searching for an answer— seeking a solution to this unknown conundrum— and questions the cause of his demise. A single tear forms in his eye as he calmly asks: …does anyone know how to get ahold of Seth Rogen? The room is a confused and sticky, silent heap of bewildered unknowns. TITLE CARD {Enter The Multiverse} … was that the “message from our sponsors”? Shh! L E G E N D S: ICONS don't look at me. [The Festival Project ™] 50 CENT bursts down the door. WHERE'S MY SHIT, JIMMY? Fiddy. Fiddy, look, man— Don't “FIDDY” me! Look, I can explain. Well, then, explain— TV man. Go on ahead. Look. This is— this was not my fault— Then what was it?! This was— oh, God… Go ahead! It was— this was like a game. This ain't no goddamn game, Jimmy Kimmel, I'll tell you that much right now. Yo. But it—was— a game, though, it just— [got out of hand] {Enter The Multiverse} Museum in a curio cabinet; I know, I know, I know That's the boy, That's the boy, That's the boy I saw That's my boy, that's my boy, that's the boy I know I know Museum or curiosity Too late to tell the tale I think Just cover all with masking tape It is a game, To move the pieces Leave it, let it be, She said Hideous and when the winter hits And the withered women come again Let it be sinking into the sea with the rest of the things I don't need, i never needed I never need it Several synchronicities later, Still something sees symphonies in him Music and misers and mistereases, mistresses Listen to tin written sentiments And remember to forget the rest It's been minted Minted, minted Don't talk Just fucking listen And you'll never fucking get it. What's with the rest of it? Never been, never did Lemons and purple Sundays And when the weather hits, You'll get the tip of it Oh, There it is That thing she likes The thing she sees (She sees the monster) There it is, That thing she sees The thing she knows (She knows the monster) When you walk with the cork of the wine, And the checkboards, The water foxes, wishing reals And written wells, And fears for fourths, One wet, one rotten The rent and the wintergreen gum And the rest is in Zippered cashmere Wonder what the wish is But there is a birthday present for never Then there's a Cheshire Cat And the rest of it was washed in the misery, Misery, never the mystery and there, You weather the almost storm But the storm's not coming, There's nothing but sun left There's nothing but sun there There's nothing but sun there Now, here's this: You remember, dear We resubmit We live in a computer We live in a comouter He‘S green He's new He's wet behind the ears He's a hot one A hot commodity She's weathered She's torn She's a sweet potato on suicide And though at least a hundred other folks This here is the comfort This here is the comfort I'm a narcissist now, but once upon a time I just just self centered The love still there, But instead of the spine or the heart It's back in the middle Why my mother knows what she always knows And she always knows I don't know ‍♂️ o Patrick! Hey Patrick! Yes, what is it? You fiend! Can I have my hat back? Does this match? Does this make ratchet sense to you? Turn down that racket, Tennis racket Tennis clubs And gold clubs Boxes in the attick Skeletons in the closet The stock market going dropped Way down Like the alley with Whole Foods market I miss the rock and the plaza The hot dog corn breads The half wit half breeds And good old hybrids The hallmark cards And who doesn't give a fuck When the earth gives a fuck on a roll But it's walk the dog or go home Seriously, cuz? Or cousin?! You want a hog roll Good for a hog toss Salt washed back rubs And then keep calling your mom If you wanted the balls in your court And yet no one to toss them at And the basket's back at the matchbook factory Mattresses man, and the lands they land at Matches made in TV land Are bound to have a sick and intrinsic twist That will keep your belly rolling And stomach flat Jesus Christ, What the fuck is wrong with that guy— Or rather— What the fuck happened last year, Furthermore; What in the fuck did I write about it? Townhouse in Manhattan Broken finger Broken promises Bottles of hard alcohol And models, hot girls And one cat with curiosity. Check the curio cabinet There ought to be something Or someone in it Maybe even A little man in a box With a million bucks And a tinfoil hat, Ten million marked dollars And zero fucks Whatsoever I have a headache, a headache— A headache I have a heartache, a heartache, a heart— Stop. I put it all on a bushel of bollocks, Bollocks— flowers I put it on, put it on Put it on On, and on And all for nothing All for none With the intensity of one thousand suns, He insists it exists, And exits strategically With the whispers of industry secrets And interesting sequences, She reaches the wings from the curtains And curtsies for courtesy I'm curious I'm curious just how it ends In this suicidal and envious frenzy There's nothing left in the frostbitten five Rolling towards bowling green Where in every pair of loafers, Three piece suits And deep brown eyes, I seen him. In anything over 6 feet, It was good to mean it, And defeat is sweeter than ice cream; But the green is sicker than sea swings So let's rock the boat So to speak Or let's flood a Rock Should we start at the bottom, With large bursts of water, or Turn it all into a washroom With a thunderstorm Oh, lightning strikes! And John Oliver's Murdered, Colbert's been the president for decades, A dictator I got a taste of the rig and the cherry tree I got a big secret, But bitch, You could never keep it! I write a jeep to the Equinox, Ha Ha Ha Charade you are I put a notch in my belt and my bedpost, The watch to the shop But it's all Omega It's all Omega It's all ”Oh My God!” Stop and pause for the audience Stop and pause for the audience Stop and pause for the audience Shock and awe, Or just sloppy nonsense Someone rope in the Johns, And the frog, And the frog And the frog As the fog rolls in Now I'm a millionaire How dare you Did I scare you, Become every hair on your head? Imm the one you don't want You can't want You catch watch You can't wait to Gun her down Gun to your head And I measured it in relevance The end is near And that's the place my head is in I don't need medicine I need an erected monument in honor of All that I wanted for the whole module But now in New York, I'm The same stories over and over So everyone knows Aren't the ones I wrote But I wasn't supposed to Mouth closed Townhouse in Manhattan What the hell happened? Perhaps we all died and then actually end up in heaven eventually. —but maybe I wrote the whole show, But not knowing it's over I just keep rolling and rolling and rolling And open door policy (And that's when the pearly gates open) It's possible you know these are all just my favorite players of anything anywhere possible The folks wrapped in gold for the offerings There was no love left for her but he left the door open She runs around awkward and normal But knows she knows nothing He's lifting her up But he's putting her down at the same time And they both wear a crown, But one draws a crowd And the other's a nine Out of nine Out of nine Out of nine now It's 4 and 3 quarters I make ten cents in a day And he makes ten million a year But it's not about money In fact, If it's not about God, Then it's all about nothing. Nothing at all. Do you want to travel through my eyes One more time One more time And see my life? Did you want to do it all again Just for a quick review, Or not, kid? Do you want to take my eyes And take my heart And pantomime The nevermind And never better moments Of the last forever I like a ride On a nice hot walk Or a park In a nice hot car But you aren't what I wanted The doctor ordered Hot chocolate and syrup And nightmares are coming But the dream had come and gone And in the time since, I haven't slept at all It slipped in on Christmas and went till the miniature habits kicked back in We went around the block a couple times And you just kept rolling Over The car stopped on all fours And Godbfalled you off of it Cause trust, Love, It was horrendous to watch you blow up Into blockbuster artform Off of a bridge And into superstardom Via a billboard Meanwhile, Were shuffleboards And billiards Que the arts! Ou, I meant to owe you All the lessons In the knowledge But the harder I want it the Rocker on my chair polished It grows fuller of course Almost flat on the bottom What you hole into for the audience Is all inside the contracts I put it up on the What did you call it? Put the coat on the chair and just kept going Bro, If I hold you over Promise you'll hold the door open He won't. He's a show host— A remarkable “Don't even bother” And I paid top dollar for these hair plugs, You hear that?! I heard you rabbit. What it is about the thing that wells up in my Washington federal and tear-gassed orphans is Lollipops and anicetepetomin Or asperine I'm desperate for a job And yet, I almost miss the person Hiding from the shadows in the robots In my every on thoughforms Though I should be honored Now I've brought back this astonishing Remarkable curse To not b Have bought curtains When I didn't want them in the first place And I kept the window open 40,000 showed up But I played to no one And the blonde knows it's her birthday So of course she's more important But I'm no one, And here's Fallon: Jimmy Fallon Jimmy Fallon Jimmy Fallon I'm deflated just to follow off for a nut But I'm nothing since no one pondered And wondered to ask a remarkable task get the pawn shop, the butter knife And Lorne all over pork chops on the phone And I'm sure that's not kosher, But sure, there's no cure for it I'm words and I'm worse off The suburbs, the herbs and the marshes The books and the sineage The plants and the corvettes I might have been onto something once But now I'm washed up I might be onto something but no, no, no— I fought it off I might come down with a cold once a quarter century or so but just the snow alone As cold as this whole story is, Ripley's Is hard warming (Believe it or not, We've all got thumbs up We've all got magic wands And wants And whispers And stock markets And wishing for cashmere zippered sweaters This year I'll be on time for once But no one's coming No one's coming up The whole shows under water And all I want to know is How to go To pull the gun and trigger On my own live Cause this whole world Is just rotten Bodies Hairpins, Hairspray Corny! That's grid iron, Gridiron, ten fierce fires and one Cold hearted beautiful liar But which one's the finish? Last that I check Billie, Jimmy, and the Kidd are all Just one body And one mirror image Of one another So next time I call my mother I ought to talk like the worst word, Cause for sure, the oddest part of the whole show Is that he somehow knows her. Now come forwards What words have left to Burn? What words have left to cope and honor What form does lest I take What here is now and crucial? Evervescent fairy, Ever blessing crane, The ship that guides you yet with no light And no sail Has just drifted into unknown waters Where caves dwell and therein lies the secret of our esarth, nor your earth, But ours and again I lay, As you sink into the see with tilting force and berring waves, the drive into the tide my ark the swan hath flown to warn her, there drifts Into the shade again the sun my bird and wait to find my alter My alter again and as I may, The sink that ships and weigh, not the other, My mind you that too is bottom And sank is to have risen, also Here I wonder And never you cave, the drift of glowing green my force And there to wait, there caverns of hers and ships that sank my tide, Is crucial and so with forgiveness in time With every line here I or they did write The truth shatters as illusions, the mask has been re clamored and yet to have imagined I find him here not but the hints And the thing we know, buried deep in my loins and in my earth is he The whispers what May calling and landender, mauve my tide, my ba …wtf. idk. [The Festival Project™ ] {Enter The Multiverse} L E G E N D S: ICONS Tales of A Superstar DJ The Secret Life of Sunnï Blū Ascension Deathwish -Ū. Copyright The Festival Project, Inc. ™ & The Complex Collective © 2015-2025 All Rights Reserved

07-11-25 - Guad Squares - Jimmy Fallon - Spongebob - Trump - Morgan Freeman - Hotel Host Brady - Billy Bob Thornton - Ozzy

Play Episode Listen Later Jul 11, 2025 22:17

07-11-25 - Guad Squares - Jimmy Fallon - Spongebob - Trump - Morgan Freeman - Hotel Host Brady - Billy Bob Thornton - OzzySee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

donald trump hotels spongebob squarepants morgan freeman jimmy fallon ozzy squares billy bob thornton guad

07-11-25 - Guad Squares - Jimmy Fallon - Spongebob - Trump - Morgan Freeman - Hotel Host Brady - Billy Bob Thornton - Ozzy

Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona

Play Episode Listen Later Jul 11, 2025 22:17

07-11-25 - Guad Squares - Jimmy Fallon - Spongebob - Trump - Morgan Freeman - Hotel Host Brady - Billy Bob Thornton - OzzySee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

donald trump hotels spongebob squarepants morgan freeman jimmy fallon ozzy squares billy bob thornton guad

(VIDEO) Podcast #97 - Augusto Oropeza

Laugh Tracks Legends of Comedy with Randy and Steve

Play Episode Listen Later Jul 9, 2025 50:11

This Substack is reader-supported. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.We're closing in on 100 interviews here at Broadway Drumming 101, and we're just getting started. We've got a great lineup ahead. Upcoming episodes include conversations with:* Pili Fronda* Michael Manesseh* Matthew Friedman* Joe Bergamini* Tom Jorgensen* Trevor HolderWe're also re-releasing some Broadway Drumming 101 Classic Episodes you may have missed, featuring:* Jesse-Ray Leich* Jake Goldbas* Paul Pizzuti* Dena Tauriello* Larry Lelli* Rich Rosenzweig* Elena Bonomo…and many more.Be sure to subscribe on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen. And subscribe to the Broadway Drumming 101 YouTube channel for behind-the-scenes video content.In this episode, I talk with Augusto Oropeza, the drummer on the national tour of Ain't Too Proud – The Life and Times of the Temptations. He shares what it's really like playing this music night after night, life on the road, his transition from an IT career into full-time performance, and the story of how he landed the gig in the first place.We discuss:* How he went from auditing the show to joining the cast on tour* The challenges of split-week travel and three-city weeks* Why he left behind a steady job in cybersecurity to chase his dream* His influences—from Jonathan Moffett and Vinnie Colaiuta to Karen Carpenter and Sheila E* What it takes to stay healthy and injury-free on tour* The importance of networking, versatility, and being a good hang* The reality of drum booths, tight pits, late-night DoorDash, and finding community on the road* How Cirque du Soleil and musical theater sparked his passion for live performanceThis is an honest and inspiring look at what it means to live the touring musician's life.Support the show by visiting our merch store: merchandise.broadwaydrumming101.comAnd if you've ever dreamed of building a theater career of your own, my new book is almost here.Broadway Bound and Beyond: A Musician's Guide to Building a Theater Career is launching soon.Get your name on the list at BroadwayBoundBook.com to be among the first to grab a copy when it drops.Thanks for listening!Clayton Craddock founded Broadway Drumming 101, an in-depth online platform offering specialized mentorship and a carefully curated collection of resources tailored for aspiring and professional musicians.Clayton's Broadway and Off-Broadway credits include tick, tick…BOOM!, Altar Boyz, Memphis The Musical, Lady Day at Emerson's Bar and Grill, Ain't Too Proud – The Life and Times of The Temptations, Cats: The Jellicle Ball, and The Hippest Trip: The Soul Train Musical. As a skilled sub, he has contributed his talents to notable productions such as Motown, Evita, Cats, Avenue Q, The Color Purple, Rent, SpongeBob SquarePants: The Musical, and Hadestown (tour), among many others. He has also appeared on major shows, including The View, Good Morning America, Jimmy Fallon, The Today Show, and the TONY Awards, and performed with legends like The Stylistics, The Delfonics, Mario Cantone, Laura Benanti, Kristin Chenoweth, Kerry Butler, Christian Borle, Norm Lewis, Deniece Williams, Chuck Berry, and Ben E. King.Clayton proudly endorses Ahead Drum Cases, Paiste Cymbals, Innovative Percussion drumsticks, and Empire Ears.Learn more about Clayton Craddock here: www.claytoncraddock.com Get full access to Broadway Drumming 101 at broadwaydrumming101.substack.com/subscribe

Gabriel Iglesias

Play Episode Listen Later Jul 8, 2025 3:31

When you think of adjectives starting with 'f' that describe comedians you might think of "funny," "fast," and "fierce" -- but you may not think of "fluffy" -- not unless you are fans of Gabriel Iglesias who has ridden family-friendly and playful comedy to the top of the business. Always rotund, Gabriel was nicknamed "fluffy" by his mom -- we hope she gets a cut because it has become his trademark. From an early spot on the Nickelodeon kids show All That to a turn at Last Comic Standing Gabe kept climbing the career ladder. Along the way he also starred in a popular sitcom and has developed a fine resume of voice acting work. But Gabriel has never wandered far from the stand-up stage, hosting a Comedy Central Stand Up series and starring in numerous specials of his own. And to put the cherry on top, in 2022 Gabriel became the first comic to sell out a show at Dodger Stadium -- not bad for a kid called "fluffy"! As always find extended cuts below and thanks for sharing our shows! Want more Fluffy? Fluffy has turned out to be a great, if unusual, nickname for Gabe and her he tells Jimmy Fallon the origin story. https://www.tiktok.com/@fallont.../video/7476524565150223662 When Gabe was on Last Comic Standing he was disqualified for using a cellphone to talk with family. Always a standup he turned that setback into instant material for his next special. https://youtu.be/A0BsqoMndz8?si=R5HM2qAt2zSwh3h7 From 2019-21 Gabe starred in a fun sitcom -- Mr. Iglesias -- which starred him as a high school history teacher. Here's the first episode. https://youtu.be/qGIPoodveZM?si=j2Y0jE03pYK7ffaV Gabe continues to be a top standup draw and his latest Netflix special -- 2025's Legend of Fluffy -- shows him in top form. https://youtu.be/ybzJy_jdJgA?si=iBS9ZUo6Zdtcb7Lf

netflix nickelodeon jimmy fallon iglesias fluffy dodger stadium last comic standing gabriel iglesias comedy central stand up

VOL 117 Conservative Theorist | Getting Drafted & Being Unreasonable | Adulthood Pod

missing brad pitt shelter kinds michael bay jimmy fallon help save skibidi toilet

Play Episode Listen Later Jul 7, 2025 74:17

Hey, Comedy Lovers! ✤ Welcome to "Ian Lara" ⭐ All advice is bad advice, please do adult things and put this podcast on in the background.

Please Help Save Our Cat Shelter - It Takes All Kinds Podcast #223

It Takes All Kinds

Play Episode Listen Later Jul 7, 2025 89:01

You or a loved one could be falling for this scam. You're lucky Carson and Gavin are here to uncover it. Not to mention, they discussed Michael Bay's Skibidi Toilet shenanigans, watched a missing child hit the griddy, Jimmy Fallon and Brad Pitt play frisbee golf, and played a brand new game called "Guess What I Had For Lunch.” Enjoy! Want to stay up to date with the podcast? Give us a follow on our social media platforms, and check out the video version of this show on YouTube in the links below! Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ittakesallkindspodcast/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/ITAKPodcast YouTube: https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLSQ1H-tYJrxroyz82ygvJoI9splHke-Ez 00:00 Intro 6:05 Guess what Gavin had for lunch 13:22 Jimmy Fallon and Brad Pitt play disc golf 28:19 Do not buy ANYTHING from these people 1:06:46 Michael Bay's Skibidi Toilet shenanigans 1:13:01 Missing child hits the griddy 1:18:13 Gavin's Tech-Know World 1:23:44 Star Wars Trivia 1:25:08 Watcha Listening To? 1:28:33 Outro

Podcast #97 - Augusto Oropeza

losing millions cancelled late night tonight show jimmy fallon jimmy kimmel stephen colbert

Play Episode Listen Later Jul 5, 2025 52:45

This Substack is reader-supported. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.We're closing in on 100 interviews here at Broadway Drumming 101, and we're just getting started. We've got a great lineup ahead. Upcoming episodes include conversations with:* Pili Fronda* Michael Manesseh* Matthew Friedman* Joe Bergamini* Tom Jorgensen* Trevor HolderWe're also re-releasing some Broadway Drumming 101 Classic Episodes you may have missed, featuring:* Jesse-Ray Leich* Jake Goldbas* Paul Pizzuti* Dena Tauriello* Larry Lelli* Rich Rosenzweig* Elena Bonomo…and many more.Be sure to subscribe on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen. And subscribe to the Broadway Drumming 101 YouTube channel for behind-the-scenes video content.In this episode, I talk with Augusto Oropeza, the drummer on the national tour of Ain't Too Proud – The Life and Times of the Temptations. He shares what it's really like playing this music night after night, life on the road, his transition from an IT career into full-time performance, and the story of how he landed the gig in the first place.We discuss:* How he went from auditing the show to joining the cast on tour* The challenges of split-week travel and three-city weeks* Why he left behind a steady job in cybersecurity to chase his dream* His influences—from Jonathan Moffett and Vinnie Colaiuta to Karen Carpenter and Sheila E* What it takes to stay healthy and injury-free on tour* The importance of networking, versatility, and being a good hang* The reality of drum booths, tight pits, late-night DoorDash, and finding community on the road* How Cirque du Soleil and musical theater sparked his passion for live performanceThis is an honest and inspiring look at what it means to live the touring musician's life.Support the show by visiting our merch store: merchandise.broadwaydrumming101.comAnd if you've ever dreamed of building a theater career of your own, my new book is almost here.Broadway Bound and Beyond: A Musician's Guide to Building a Theater Career is launching soon.Get your name on the list at BroadwayBoundBook.com to be among the first to grab a copy when it drops.Thanks for listening!Clayton Craddock founded Broadway Drumming 101, an in-depth online platform offering specialized mentorship and a carefully curated collection of resources tailored for aspiring and professional musicians.Clayton's Broadway and Off-Broadway credits include tick, tick…BOOM!, Altar Boyz, Memphis The Musical, Lady Day at Emerson's Bar and Grill, Ain't Too Proud – The Life and Times of The Temptations, Cats: The Jellicle Ball, and The Hippest Trip: The Soul Train Musical. As a skilled sub, he has contributed his talents to notable productions such as Motown, Evita, Cats, Avenue Q, The Color Purple, Rent, SpongeBob SquarePants: The Musical, and Hadestown (tour), among many others. He has also appeared on major shows, including The View, Good Morning America, Jimmy Fallon, The Today Show, and the TONY Awards, and performed with legends like The Stylistics, The Delfonics, Mario Cantone, Laura Benanti, Kristin Chenoweth, Kerry Butler, Christian Borle, Norm Lewis, Deniece Williams, Chuck Berry, and Ben E. King.Clayton proudly endorses Ahead Drum Cases, Paiste Cymbals, Innovative Percussion drumsticks, and Empire Ears.Learn more about Clayton Craddock here: www.claytoncraddock.com Get full access to Broadway Drumming 101 at broadwaydrumming101.substack.com/subscribe

Jimmy Kimmel & Late-Night LOSING Millions & Could be CANCELLED by 2026

Behind the Line

Play Episode Listen Later Jul 5, 2025 13:26

Jimmy Kimmel and other late-night programs have experienced a steady ratings decline...over the last few years. Jimmy Fallon has lost millions of viewers on The Tonight Show...while ad revenue across late-night has declined by hundreds of millions of dollars. As a result...late-night programming could cease to exist within the next couple of years. We discuss the decline of late-night television...and explain why hosts like Jimmy Kimmel are the main problem. We also explain why networks could cancel late-night shows by 2026...and how Stephen Colbert and Jimmy Fallon would be first to be cancelled. SUBSCRIBE TO BEHIND THE LINE - SHORTS: https://www.youtube.com/@btlshorts-84

Micheal Rowland | Ep #58 | Puddles

Puddles with Andrew Collin

Play Episode Listen Later Jul 3, 2025 58:25

Welcome to Puddles. Andrew and Micheal joke about everything. In this episode we cover delayed puberty, our IQs, and if Andrew can hold down Micheal. Micheal Rowland is a southern raised, NYC owned comedian & actor with sharp, observational humor and a growing TV presence. You may have seen him on his appearance on the Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon and he is currently on the Fox comedy show Animal Control co-starring Joel Mchale. SUBSCRIBE!Puddles Youtube Feed: https://tinyurl.com/4u5mcxdtPuddles Podcast iTunes Audio Feed: https://tinyurl.com/4vanarmrPuddles Podcast Spotify Audio Feed: https://tinyurl.com/yyb8zc46FOLLOW US:Puddles - https://www.instagram.com/puddlespodcastAndrew - https://www.instagram.com/andrewtcollin/Micheal - https://www.instagram.com/michaelrowlando_o/?hl=enTheme song performed by: Ed GlaserEnding song written by: Andrew CollinVisuals and Graphics by: Melanie MeisnerProduced by: Brenna LaRocque

tv new york city tonight show jimmy fallon micheal graphics rowland joel mchale puddles iqs animal control

Facing the Future: AI, Comedy, and Reparations For unpaid Labor

FriendsLikeUs

Play Episode Listen Later Jul 2, 2025 61:40

On this Friends Like Us... Ever wondered about the impact of AI on media or the hidden history of our college institutions? Listen to my conversation with Kenice Mobley and Kimberly Clark, as we tackle topics and give our guests their flowers! Give it a listen and spread the word! Kimberly Clark - Originally from Syracuse, NY. She's been seen on Netflix's Tiffany Haddish presents: They Ready, The Late Late Show with James Corden, and Last Comic Standing. She was named one of Time Out L.A.'s Comics To Watch. Kenice Mobley performs stand up comedy around the world and recently made her late-night debut on The Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon. She appears regularly on SiriusXM and is a Finalist in the StandUp NBC Competition. She was named to Vulture's 2021 list of Comedians You Should and Will Know. Kenice's debut comedy album Follow Up Question, filmed at Union Hall in New York, was released in December 2022. Kenice worked on the BET Awards and By Us For Us, a sketch comedy series presented by Color of Change. She hosts Complexify on ViceNews, Love About Town, an interview and relationship podcast, and Make Yourself Cry, available on Planet Scum. Always hosted by Marina Franklin - One Hour Comedy Special: Single Black Female ( Amazon Prime, CW Network), TBS's The Last O.G, Last Week Tonight with John Oliver, Hysterical on FX, The Movie Trainwreck, Louie Season V, The Jim Gaffigan Show, Conan O'Brien, Stephen Colbert, HBO's Crashing, and The Breaks with Michelle Wolf. Writer for HBO's 'Divorce' and the new Tracy Morgan show on Paramount Plus: 'Crutch'.

VOL 116 | Did I Cheat or Am I Just Weird? | Boat Life & Women's Laughter | Adulthood Pod

Play Episode Listen Later Jun 30, 2025 57:34

Hey, Comedy Lovers! ✤ Welcome to "Ian Lara" ⭐ All advice is bad advice, please do adult things and put this podcast on in the background.

SOTS: Josh Wolf, Tahir Moore, Sara Weinshenk, Jesus Trejo & Jeremiah Watkins | Ep 76

Stand-Up On The Spot

Play Episode Listen Later Jun 30, 2025 72:27

Stand-Up On The Spot! Featuring completely improvised sets from Josh Wolf, Tahir Moore, Sara Weinshenk, Jesus Trejo & Jeremiah Watkins. No material. Comedians create Stand-Up On The Spot off audience suggestions. Everything is covered from Mushrooms to Trump vs Elon Musk, X-Men, & more! Jeremiah Watkins you know from Trailer Tales, Dr. Phil Live, his special DADDY, and as the host and creator of Stand-Up On The Spot. Josh Wolf has multiple viral YouTube specials you can watch after this, and has a new special called The Campfire Special dropping this Fall. Tahir Moore you know from All Def Digital, KevOnStage Studios, and can be seen in the show Churchy on BET this summer. Sara Weinshenk you know from Kill Tony, the Joe Rogan Experience, and her podcasts with Kim Congdon. Jesus Trejo has an HBO special Stay at Home Son and has appeared on The Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon and The Late Show with James Corden. Follow the Comedians! Jeremiah Watkins @jeremiahwatkins @TrailerTalesPod @standupots https://www.instagram.com/jeremiahstandup Josh Wolf ⁨@JoshWolfComedy⁩ https://www.instagram.com/joshwolfcomedy Tahir Moore ⁨@tahirmoore⁩ https://www.instagram.com/tahirmoore Sara Weinshenk ⁨@sweinshenk⁩ ⁨@ThisBitchPodcast⁩ https://www.instagram.com/princessshenk Jesus Trejo ⁨@TheJesusTrejo⁩ https://www.instagram.com/jesustrejo1 Stand-Up On The Spot https://www.instagram.com/standupots @standupots Sponsored by: Blue Chew Try your first month of BlueChew for free, just pay $5 for shipping. Use code SPOT at https://www.bluechew.com Sponsored by: Magic Spoon Support the show and get $5 off your Magic Spoon order at https://www.magicspoon.com/SPOT Interested in sponsoring the show? Email standupots@gmail.com for inquiries SOTS: #1HourSpecial #StandupComedy #JeremiahWatkins #JoshWolf #TahirMoore #SaraWeinshenk #JesusTrejo #CrowdWork #Funny #Viral SOTS: Josh Wolf, Tahir Moore, Sara Weinshenk, Jesus Trejo & Jeremiah Watkins Ep 76

¿Cuándo habrá veredicto en el caso P Diddy?

El Gordo y La Flaca

Play Episode Listen Later Jun 30, 2025 29:38

Continúa el juicio contra Sean Diddy Combs y siguen las sorpresas. Uno de los miembros del jurado fue amonestado por el juez por no seguir instrucciones. Te contamos lo que está sucediendo.Y además en El Gordo y La Flaca: Maribel Guardia niega que perdió alguna demanda contra su ex nuera, mientras Imelda dice que se quedó con la custodia total de su hijo.Jake Paul venció a Julio Cesar Chávez Jr en una pelea muy comentada.Siguen los rumores del supuesto embarazo de la actriz Claudia Martin después de su repentina boda con Carlos Said. Esto dijeron los recién casados.Karol G presentó su disco Tropicoqueta en el show de Jimmy Fallon y revolucionó a sus fanáticos de la gran manzana.Yailin continúa con su gira por Europa y nuestro corresponsal fue agredido por su personal de seguridad.

Broadway Drumming 101 Classic Episode: Dennis Arcano

Play Episode Listen Later Jun 28, 2025 76:05

This Substack is reader-supported. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.Originally released: October 2021In this classic episode, I talk with Dennis Arcano—an all-around force in the musical theater world: Educator / Audio Engineer / Synth & Drum Programmer / Composer. He's subbed on shows like Death Becomes Her, tick, tick...BOOM!, Altar Boyz, The 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee, Jagged Little Pill, and more.Dennis and I go way back, and in this episode, we talk about how he broke into the scene, from his first professional gig at Candlewood Playhouse to subbing on Broadway. He shares how a single connection led to his first Broadway subbing gig on Follies, and how that eventually led to touring tick, tick...BOOM! with his wife alongside him.He gets into:* How to properly prepare for a subbing gig (and what not to do)* His path as a multi-instrumentalist and why that matters* Why it's important to play like the drummer you're subbing for* His philosophy on groove, gear, teaching, and building trust in the pit* What it was like to come back to Broadway years later for Jagged Little PillThis episode is a masterclass in professionalism, humility, and the power of staying ready. Whether you're a drummer looking to break into the Broadway scene or someone who wants to understand what it really takes to make it, this is one worth going back to.Listen now and subscribe to the podcast for more inspiring and honest conversations with the drummers behind the shows.And grab your copy of my book: BroadwayBoundBook.comClayton Craddock founded Broadway Drumming 101, an in-depth online platform offering specialized mentorship and a carefully curated collection of resources tailored for aspiring and professional musicians.Clayton's Broadway and Off-Broadway credits include tick, tick…BOOM!, Altar Boyz, Memphis The Musical, Lady Day at Emerson's Bar and Grill, Ain't Too Proud – The Life and Times of The Temptations, Cats: The Jellicle Ball, and The Hippest Trip: The Soul Train Musical. As a skilled sub, he has contributed his talents to notable productions such as Motown, Evita, Cats, Avenue Q, The Color Purple, Rent, SpongeBob SquarePants: The Musical, and Hadestown (tour), among many others. He has also appeared on major shows, including The View, Good Morning America, Jimmy Fallon, The Today Show, and the TONY Awards, and performed with legends like The Stylistics, The Delfonics, Mario Cantone, Laura Benanti, Kristin Chenoweth, Kerry Butler, Christian Borle, Norm Lewis, Deniece Williams, Chuck Berry, and Ben E. King.Clayton proudly endorses Ahead Drum Cases, Paiste Cymbals, Innovative Percussion drumsticks, and Empire Ears.Learn more about Clayton Craddock here: www.claytoncraddock.com Get full access to Broadway Drumming 101 at broadwaydrumming101.substack.com/subscribe

Brad Pitt sufre robo en una de sus propiedades

El Gordo y La Flaca

Play Episode Listen Later Jun 27, 2025 29:01

Mientras Brad Pitt estaba promocionando su nueva película, los maleantes se metieron a su casa en Los Ángeles que se llevaron varias de sus pertenencias.Y además en El Gordo y La Flaca: Decenas de cineastas latinos independientes se reunieron en Los Ángeles para destacar sus logros y apoyar sus proyectos.Caos en las afueras de la corte mientras continúan los alegatos finales en el caso de Sean Diddy Combs.Karol G revolucionó Nueva York al presentarse en el show de Jimmy Fallon.Todo listo para la pelea entre Jake Paul y Julio César Chávez Jr.Así les fue a los famosos en la primera fiesta de la boda de Jeff Bezos y Lauren Sánchez.

jeff bezos brad pitt jake paul nueva york robo jimmy fallon caos david beckham laurens karol g julio c sean diddy combs sufre wander franco propiedades el gordo julio cesar chavez jr kate del castillo jesse y joy

(Video) Podcast #96 - Patrick Phalen

Play Episode Listen Later Jun 26, 2025 61:21

This Substack is reader-supported. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.In this episode, Clayton chats with drummer Patrick Phelan IV, the current touring drummer for the Shucked First National Tour. Patrick shares how a random hangout in NYC led to his first Broadway subbing opportunity and how he's since built a career full of friendship, groove, and grit.We dive into his musical upbringing in Wisconsin, where he studied classical percussion at the University of Wisconsin–Eau Claire, and how his early decision to leave veterinary studies for a life behind the drum kit changed everything. Patrick talks about balancing eight shows a week, playing pickleball and golf to stay sane on the road, and bleeding all over his snare in Dallas — literally.Patrick also opens up about:* His deep love for Yacht Rock and why he dreams of touring with Michael McDonald or Christopher Cross* Learning to play entire shows from Vimeo videos (with no charts!) — like his recent tour with Clay Aiken & Ruben Studdard* Why subbing on Shucked led to a national tour* Playing music for music's sake—not just for the showWhether you're a drummer, a theater musician, or someone trying to figure out how to break into the Broadway world, this episode is packed with real advice, honest stories, and some good laughs.Featured Topics:* Getting into musical theater through friendship and trust, not just auditions* Classical chops meeting country-pop grooves on Shucked* Why networking isn't just schmoozing—it's about real human connection* Staying musically inspired while playing the same show night after night* The role of joy, artistic outlets, and “pretending you're at your own rock concert” when playing in isolationAbout Patrick Phelan:Outside of Broadway, Patrick has toured internationally with Americana band Them Coulee Boys, recording the album Die Happy, which charted on the American Radio Album charts. He played for the Grammy-nominated Jazz Ensemble 1 at the University of Wisconsin–Eau Claire and performed at PASIC with the UWEC percussion quartet. Patrick also teaches private lessons in drum set, concert percussion, and piano.Connect with Patrick:Instagram: @patrickphelan4Email: patrickphelan4@gmail.comCheck out the Broadway Bound and Beyond book and merch!Clayton Craddock founded Broadway Drumming 101, an in-depth online platform offering specialized mentorship and a carefully curated collection of resources tailored for aspiring and professional musicians.Clayton's Broadway and Off-Broadway credits include tick, tick…BOOM!, Altar Boyz, Memphis The Musical, Lady Day at Emerson's Bar and Grill, Ain't Too Proud – The Life and Times of The Temptations, Cats: The Jellicle Ball, and The Hippest Trip: The Soul Train Musical. As a skilled sub, he has contributed his talents to notable productions such as Motown, Evita, Cats, Avenue Q, The Color Purple, Rent, SpongeBob SquarePants: The Musical, and Hadestown (tour), among many others. He has also appeared on major shows, including The View, Good Morning America, Jimmy Fallon, The Today Show, and the TONY Awards, and performed with legends like The Stylistics, The Delfonics, Mario Cantone, Laura Benanti, Kristin Chenoweth, Kerry Butler, Christian Borle, Norm Lewis, Deniece Williams, Chuck Berry, and Ben E. King.Clayton proudly endorses Ahead Drum Cases, Paiste Cymbals, Innovative Percussion drumsticks, and Empire Ears.Learn more about Clayton Craddock here: www.claytoncraddock.com Get full access to Broadway Drumming 101 at broadwaydrumming101.substack.com/subscribe

Zohran Mamdani's Mayoral Upset Over Andrew Cuomo Signals Desire for Change | Jonathan Bailey, Abby Elliott, Brandy & Monica | Wednesday, June 25

Play Episode Listen Later Jun 26, 2025 27:27

Jimmy addresses the latest news, like Zohran Mamdani beating Andrew Cuomo in the Democratic mayoral primary, before speaking with Jonathan Bailey, Abby Elliott, Brandy and Monica.

Trump's War Obsession Could Regress the U.S. to the 1940s | Jeremy Allen White, Karol G | Thursday, June 26

Play Episode Listen Later Jun 26, 2025 34:02

Jimmy addresses the latest news, like Trump's administration pushing for crypto to be used for mortgages, before speaking with Jeremy Allen White and Karol G.

Trump Crashes Out with F-Bomb on Live TV After Israel-Iran Ceasefire Boast Blows Up in His Face | Scarlett Johansson, Jay Pharoah | Tuesday, June 24

Play Episode Listen Later Jun 25, 2025 36:10

Jimmy addresses the latest news, like Trump boasting about a ceasefire between Iran and Israel that was promptly broken, before speaking with Scarlett Johansson and Jay Pharoah.

VOL 115 | Can We Be Transparent? | Personality Work, Miami Nights, & Cameras in the Bedroom | Adulthood Pod

Play Episode Listen Later Jun 23, 2025 77:45

Hey, Comedy Lovers! ✤ Welcome to "Ian Lara" ⭐ All advice is bad advice, please do adult things and put this podcast on in the background.

Podcast #96 - Patrick Phalen

Play Episode Listen Later Jun 21, 2025 63:18

This Substack is reader-supported. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.In this episode, Clayton chats with drummer Patrick Phelan IV, the current touring drummer for the Shucked First National Tour. Patrick shares how a random hangout in NYC led to his first Broadway subbing opportunity and how he's since built a career full of friendship, groove, and grit.We dive into his musical upbringing in Wisconsin, studying classical percussion at UW–Eau Claire, and how his early decision to leave veterinary studies for a life behind the drum kit changed everything. Patrick talks about balancing eight shows a week, playing pickleball and golf to stay sane on the road, and bleeding all over his snare in Dallas — literally.Patrick also opens up about:* His deep love for Yacht Rock and why he dreams of touring with Michael McDonald or Christopher Cross* Learning to play entire shows from Vimeo videos (with no charts!) — like his recent tour with Clay Aiken & Ruben Studdard* Why subbing on Shucked led to a national tour* Playing music for music's sake—not just for the showWhether you're a drummer, a theater musician, or someone trying to figure out how to break into the Broadway world, this episode is packed with real advice, honest stories, and some good laughs.Featured Topics:* Getting into musical theater through friendship and trust, not just auditions* Classical chops meeting country-pop grooves on Shucked* Why networking isn't just schmoozing—it's about real human connection* Staying musically inspired while playing the same show night after night* The role of joy, artistic outlets, and “pretending you're at your own rock concert” when playing in isolationAbout Patrick Phelan:Outside of Broadway, Patrick has toured internationally with Americana band Them Coulee Boys, recording the album Die Happy, which charted on the American Radio Album charts. He played for the Grammy-nominated Jazz Ensemble 1 at the University of Wisconsin–Eau Claire and performed at PASIC with the UWEC percussion quartet. Patrick also teaches private lessons in drum set, concert percussion, and piano.Connect with Patrick:Instagram: @patrickphelan4Email: patrickphelan4@gmail.comCheck out the Broadway Bound and Beyond book and merch!Clayton Craddock founded Broadway Drumming 101, an in-depth online platform offering specialized mentorship and a carefully curated collection of resources tailored for aspiring and professional musicians.Clayton's Broadway and Off-Broadway credits include tick, tick…BOOM!, Altar Boyz, Memphis The Musical, Lady Day at Emerson's Bar and Grill, Ain't Too Proud – The Life and Times of The Temptations, Cats: The Jellicle Ball, and The Hippest Trip: The Soul Train Musical. As a skilled sub, he has contributed his talents to notable productions such as Motown, Evita, Cats, Avenue Q, The Color Purple, Rent, SpongeBob SquarePants: The Musical, and Hadestown (tour), among many others. He has also appeared on major shows, including The View, Good Morning America, Jimmy Fallon, The Today Show, and the TONY Awards, and performed with legends like The Stylistics, The Delfonics, Mario Cantone, Laura Benanti, Kristin Chenoweth, Kerry Butler, Christian Borle, Norm Lewis, Deniece Williams, Chuck Berry, and Ben E. King.Clayton proudly endorses Ahead Drum Cases, Paiste Cymbals, Innovative Percussion drumsticks, and Empire Ears.Learn more about Clayton Craddock here: www.claytoncraddock.com Get full access to Broadway Drumming 101 at broadwaydrumming101.substack.com/subscribe

How a Casual Meetup Landed Patrick Phalen the 'Shucked' First National Tour