Lox and The Bagel

So we started off talking about the loss of kindness in our world today and veered off into the apparent death of democracy and our way of life, so there's that!

The wait is finally over. The boychiks are back in town. In this week's episode, we talk about everything from the growing coyote invasion fear to the new Netflix sensation, Bake Squad. And why does Joshua hate cats? And I tell Joshua about a very intimate conversation I had with his wife Jennifer about the Western Bacon Cheeseburger!

That among these are Life, Liberty, and the pursuit of Happiness. What were those old white privileged revolutionary dudes getting at when they wrote that phrase? Were they describing the happiness of the modern Kardashians lifestyle of private jets, random sex, and puffy lips, or were they talking about a kind of happiness that is more about virtue, one that is rooted in the values of meaning, relationship, and connection? Which kind of happiness lasts and sustains you through challenging times?

As we continue our conversation about Our Fathers, we delve deeper into how our fathers shaped our identities and our lives. We explore pivotal moments in Kenny's life, like the time his father went to federal prison for 10 months and Kenny got divorced, quit his business, and became a stay-at-home dad to his then 18 month-old daughter. And how the shame he felt manifested itself is his complete withdrawal from society except for the time he spent with his child. And we discover how Kenny learned from his father to keep his feeling and emotions to himself and, as a 10-year-old boy would spend time crying on the floor of his shower with the water on so nobody would hear him.

What was your relationship like with your father? Was he your hero? Was he the villain in your story? By all accounts Joshua's father was a self-absorbed narcissistic who was often mean and cruel, and yet, Joshua will tell you that his father always loved him. On the other hand, Kenny's father was kind and generous and treated him with apparent respect. Both men had a profound impact on their son's view of themselves and their place in the world. In part I of Our Fathers, we focus on Joshua's experience dealing with a father who tried to control him and who punished him for not being the son he wanted. Even as Joshua tried to protect his father from tragedy, he was subjected to rejection and disapproval and vowed to become a different kind of man.

Can we separate art from the artist? What level of bad behavior makes it impossible to see the work without seeing the actions of the artist? We know that we can no longer watch Woody Allen movies and that feels sad, like a death in the family, as Woody Allen was formative in our experience of comedy and Jewish humor. Maybe before social media and our knowledge of people's private lives, it was possible to separate art from the artist, but today, it is where we are as a culture and there is no escaping that reality. Because ultimately it's about whether we want to be in a relationship with that artist and the values that artist holds.

Like most Jewish men in their 50's Joshua and Kenny were in Fiddler on the Roof together in high school. Strangely, Kenny the lesser talent of the two had a lead role, Fyedka, whereas, Joshua, the much greater talent, had the tiniest of roles as, The Rabbi. But Kenny's role (And I can say this because I am Kenny) was not memorable…O, he looked good, but the acting…meh. On the other hand Joshua's 2 minute role turned into a show stopper! Damn, he was good! Joshua went on to star in his own network TV show called, The Marshall Chronicles, for 6 episodes at least.As 14 years old kids Joshua and Kenny met in the Intro to Performing arts class in 9th grade at Beverly Hills High School. Two kids from different sides of the tracks found a community and forged an enduring friendship. Join us as we reminisce about our highs and lows, the lessons we learned, and the people who made it all so special. (Mentioned in this episode: Kevin Goldberg, Mark Kaplan, Amanda Sutton, Zina Goldrich, Crispin Hellion Glover, Marsh Monroe, Janet Kurtzman, and Nicolas Coppola/Cage)

Do you remember when being an expert meant that you were an EXPERT in something through study or experience or lived history? Who is an expert today? And what the f*ck is an INFLUENCER? Is yesterday's expert, today's influencer? From 1970's TV icon, Rodney Allen Rippy to current “Man About Town” Stanley Tucci, join Kenny & Joshua as they explore what is lost and what is gained in today's world of information and influence.

Did you grow up loving your birthdays? Did your family make a big deal out of holidays? Did they make you feel special? And did you continue those rituals into your adulthood or create new ones. Join Kenny & Joshua (Or Ezekiel and Jedidiah) as they tell their own stories of celebration and ritual and why it all matters so much.

The old adage says that breakfast is the most important meal of the day. But why? Because breakfast is about a feeling, a sense of wonder and joy, and a memory of comfort and connection to childhood and family. Nobody has “dinner for breakfast” but millions of grown-ups enjoy “breakfast for dinner”. There is a feeling that you're doing something sneaky or mischievous. Join Kenny & Joshua as they explore the value of blintzes, bacon, bagels, and the bounty of breakfast bliss.

Travel allows us to see the world through different eyes. As Americans, we've been taught that this is the greatest place in the world and what we do here is the only way to do it. But there are so many ways to see the world and so many fascinating people to meet along the way. Join Kenny and Joshua as they share their perspectives and experiences from around the globe. Joshua and his very human bathing experiencing with that man in Tunisia and Kenny with his sweet connection with the red-headed Italian goddess.If you have a question you'd like us to answer on the air, or you'd like to make a comment, or you have a show idea for us, please leave us a voice message at 503-770-0263.

In this 1st episode of season 2, Kenny and Joshua explore the myths, promises, and hopes of Romantic Love. Are they real or imagined? And is everything we've been taught about love and romance just a bunch of unhelpful, unfortunate, and unfriendly pop psychology with a large sprinkling of disnification? God, I hope not!!!!!

How do we co-exist in a country that has two fundamentally different ideas about being a country? How do we talk to each other when one side believes in crazy conspiracy theories? Do we need a third party? Is that even possible? Can we move on without accountability and justice? And what about those pesky bears???

Does God exist? Do we need God to exist? Is he an old bearded man or woman sitting in a cloud somewhere all omniscient and omnipotent? Or is God an idea representing something greater than us? Is God a helpful or harmful idea? And what about the avocado and that damn large pit? Join us as we try and figure it all out. (Spoiler Alert: We don't!)

What does it feel like to be Jewish in America today? What role does anti-semitism play in your daily lives? As a Jewish kid, did you want to sit on Santa's lap at the mall? What are your feelings about Israel today vs. when you were kids? Do you have to believe in God to be Jewish?Joshua and I answer these and many other questions.

Why does the thought of going to therapy make men “Crazy?” It's a question women have been asking for years. Joshua and Kenny explore the confines and constructs of masculinity and shame and how that has men thinking that the values of vulnerability, openness, and sharing are not only off-limits but dangerous to our identities. That's a mouthful!

Why do 90% of all New Year's resolutions fail within 2 weeks of having been made? And are resolutions a good idea anyway? In this episode, we explore why resolutions fail and what is needed for them to succeed. And there is a wild chat about Nelson Mandela and Mahatma Gandhi too. Happy New Year!

Relationships are the building blocks of our lives. They allow us to feel seen, valued, and heard. They provide us comfort, joy, safety, and connection. And they take many forms. Sometimes we form relationships with characters in books, movies, video games, and television shows and these relationships can be just as meaningful and helpful as any other. Also, who remembers TV Trays? And is texting really chatting or is it really texting???

From the 1970's to our current time technology has impacted us in increasingly meaningful ways.For Joshua and Myself, our memories of “Pong” and “Cable Boxes with Chords Attached to the TV” are profound, and yet, they never changed our lives the way today's smartphones and video chats have radically altered the very nature of how we interact with each other. We look at what was lost and what has been gained. And we throw in a few nice memories of our old friend Brad Fuller's dad.

What were the movies and tv shows from your childhood that shaped who you are or who you wanted to be? Who remembers the Six Million Dollar Man or the Fonz? What about the movies that defined your generation? Do you ever go in the ocean again after seeing Jaws? Was childhood ever the same after Star Wars? And of course there were a whole host of things that drove us F**king crazy this week!

There is no right way to grieve. There is only what is meaningful to you at the time. We continue our conversation about losing our parents. For Joshua, building his mother's coffin was one last gift he could give her. So, we, his friends, joined him in some booze, some pizza, some carpentry, and a celebration of the life of a kind, caring, and loving woman, a mother to Joshua and a second mother to Kenny. We also talk a bit about the election, what drives us crazy, and we answer the 4 questions.

Is blood really thicker than water? For some people maybe it is but for some of us it surely was not. Losing your parents is never easy, especially when they are still alive. When you lose a parent to death in their 90's, there is a sense of normalcy to it, a function of the circle of life. But, losing a parent to emotional pain, divorce, or an inability to find a way to communicate at age 10, 20 , 40, or 50, feels anything but normal. In this very personal episode we explore what it feels like to experience both those kinds of losses.

Everything is political. In this episode we talk about finding your political voice. The voice that connects to your WHY. The voice that says this is what I value and this is why that matters. Kenny found his voice out of the pain and loneliness of feeling unseen as a child. Joshua found his voice, in opposition to a father who sucked out all the oxygen from the room. And of course there are many West Wing references and the obscure childhood magazine erotic story references. So, there's that!

Lox and The Bagel is a story of a friendship forged in the crucible of adolescence some 40 years ago between two nice Jewish boys from the opposite side of the tracks who both had daughters, became Marriage and Family Therapists, and share a love of food, language, film, and humor. In this podcast they have conversations about the things that bring them joy and the things that make them crazy!Please join us every Friday wherever you listen to podcasts.