Manfulness Men

In Melbourne, we have recently re-surfaced from our fifth lockdown and I feel that this one has hit me the hardest. I had to cancel my 40th birthday party and the Manfulness Masterclass, and I feel frustration and irritability confined to my home. This stasis of isolation can bring on many different emotions for people and they can be challenging to handle as the lockdown is out of our control. In this episode, I examine the feelings that are generated from being in lockdown and how media outlets are using these feelings to consume our attention. Fear draws us in and fine tunes our senses, so when we are bombarded with news programs, press conferences, and social media posts, we are stuck in a cycle of dread and negative energy. I will talk to you through my strategy of disengaging from news programs and social media posts to disconnect from the onslaught of constant fear to give yourself the opportunity to recentre and come back into homeostasis. Use laughter as an important tool to clear your body of stagnant energy and improve your mental health. Bring your level of consciousness and awareness to what you are viewing and it will bring an incredible difference to your health and wellbeing.   LINKS: Sign up for my free meditation course here Follow me over on Instagram here

I'm about to turn 40, which feels like a pretty big milestone for me. I've been reminiscing about the last 10 years of my life; how much has changed and how much I've grown. I wanted to share my reflections with you as I unpack a few of the lessons I've learned and things I've journeyed through over the last decade. I look back at 30 year old me and feel so grateful for that man who said yes to embarking on the journey into the unknown. I faced some real challenges and painful moments, but they all led me to this place of deeper authenticity and greater joy and fulfillment. If you're struggling right now or facing something really challenging, I hope this episode is an encouragement to you to hold on. If you could have the perspective of hindsight, you would know that whatever you're going through right now, your suffering isn't in vain. Embrace where you're at, find the greater purpose inside the suffering and use it for your transformation.   LINKS: Sign up for my free meditation course here Follow me over on Instagram here

It has just ticked over to a new financial year here, and I find this is a great opportunity to really reflect on the past 12 months in business. When I look back at all that Erika and I have achieved in our businesses this year, I feel grateful and proud of what we've been able to do. We've grown so much not only professionally, but personally and when I think about how the end of financial year used to feel for me, there has been such a shift in my mindset. When I was first starting out in the fitness industry, I was really struggling financially. My gym wasn't making money year after year, and I couldn't figure out what I was doing wrong. I was tired all the time, stressed beyond belief and everything felt really hard. I realised that I wasn't being honest with myself. I wasn't really looking at the numbers and the reality of where my business was sitting. Once I started being honest about the situation, I could finally start to turn it around. This isn't just something that applies to your finances either. It applies to everything in your life. If you are truly honest with yourself and the situation that you're in, coming to it with an open mind, you can make positive changes.   LINKS: Sign up for my free meditation course here Follow me over on Instagram here

My life completely changed when I started getting deep into personal development. I began unravelling the unconscious habits and patterns in my life, I worked through painful realisations and started taking responsibility for where I was at. Then I had the audacity to tell everyone else what they should be doing to change their lives too. I see a lot of people doing the same thing lately. When you start doing the work and bringing awareness to the darker areas of your life, it's a natural temptation to want to preach positive thinking and gratitude to everyone else. But no amount of positive thinking will ever heal trauma in someone's life. That requires much deeper work. In this episode I want to share with you some of the journey I went through and how I eventually realised that it wasn't my job to tell someone else how to change their life. I share my thoughts on toxic positivity and why it will never replace the deeper, and often challenging, work when it comes to healing trauma. I also talk about what a good coach should do in supporting you in your personal journey.   LINKS: Sign up for my free meditation course here Follow me over on Instagram here

In today's episode I'm going to tackle a taboo topic: porn addiction. Pornography can be a difficult area for men to traverse because it's something we're incredibly shameful of. Most men don't even want to admit they view porn. It's also a common thing for men to struggle with, especially in our younger years when feelings of arousal are high but our understanding of sexuality hasn't fully developed. It's an easy way to deal with built up sexual energy but also boredom, frustration, and other negative emotions. Society as a whole can view men as being driven to sex from a purely animalistic level. This mentality has become so ingrained that many men view themselves this way and perpetuate it in their own lives. Because of this, many men miss out on love and sex at their optimal levels, which is really tragic. Porn makes this problem even worse as it gives us a very mechanical, emotionless portrayal of what sex is. We need to overcome the shame and the guilt in this area so we can reach out for help and begin improving our lives. Take a few steps back and look at your life as a whole. Are you bored? Do you lack creative outlets? Are you nervous? LINKS: Sign up for my free meditation course here Follow me over on Instagram here

I try to be purposeful with the guests who come on the Manfulness podcast. The men I look for are doing something different, who are courageous and sharing parts of themselves that are usually hidden. People who role model a different way that manhood can express itself. Today's guest Christian O'Connel is definitely one of those men. He's recently released a book “No One Listens to Your Dad's Show” that explores his career in radio and shares some deeper parts of his life. He talks to me about his family's recent shift to the other side of the world. What led up to that, what struggles it caused, and how he feels in hindsight. We discuss how parenting has forced him to reassess his perspectives and just hold space for his daughters. Christian is equal parts hilarious and honest, which made this conversation a delight. I hope you enjoy listening as much as I did. Sign up for my free meditation course here Follow me over on Instagram here

I've had many men come to me in sessions who want to improve their life but have no experience working on themselves. It's a harmful block that prevents many people from reaching the life they desire. We all face challenges in our lives that shape us but the outlook we hold determines how much control we can take over our own lives.   People tend to fall into one of two main mindsets here. One mindset believes they have no power to change the things that happen to them and that they are how they are because of the inevitable . The other mindset acknowledges that  things happen in life they have no control over, but also that they can choose how to show up in life regardless. You cannot begin to work on yourself if you are stuck in the first mindset, you need to be open and willing to change. I've dealt with it myself, which is how I know just how worth it the work will be. In today's episode I'll talk about where to start when you want to work on yourself.   Sign up for my free meditation course here Follow me over on Instagram here

Making decisions is a natural part of life. We make hundreds of decisions every day, what we’re going to wear or eat for dinner. We also make bigger decisions over our lifetime like where we’re going to live, what we’ll do for a living, or who we want to be with. These bigger choices often cause us trouble because we can often fool ourselves into thinking we’ve made a decision, while we’re actually sitting in indecision. I had a client come see me recently who suspected his partner had cheated on him. She outright denied this and the two ended up choosing to stay together, but he hadn’t actually decided to forgive her and was just stuck. In today’s episode we’ll dive into his journey and also a broader look at making decisions. What exactly does it mean to decide on something and how can you get there?   contact me via instagram or email: manfulnessmen@gmail.com.

  Some people are charged with energy when they spend time with people, others find themselves drained no matter how much they enjoy it. As an introvert, if I spend too much time in a social situation it can become too much and I’ll start shutting down. I become moody, grumpy, critical and I know I need to leave the situation asap. As a nurturer, I love to support the people around me but if I don’t take time for myself it begins to feel like an obligation and I’ll start to resent them. Recently, I’ve had a lot of clients come to me with this same problem. They feel unappreciated, overwhelmed, tired and are left thinking “what’s the point?” We’ll dive into this in today’s episode and talk about the importance of being able to say no to your partner. If you are an introvert and a nurturer, you need to communicate your limitations with the people around you so that you aren’t pushed too far. Sign up for my free meditation course here Follow me over on Instagram here  

  In today’s episode I want to talk about something that affects everyone, limiting beliefs. Limiting beliefs are thoughts you continuously have so often they begin to structure your reality. In the early years of a child’s development their brains are very susceptible to the environment around them. The situations we are born into, parents, brothers and sisters, culture, religion, all these things heavily impact out development and so the beliefs we carry with us through our lives. This works because our brains need to find the best ways to survive and thrive in the world, but it can’t filter between healthy and unhealthy situations, so we are often left with beliefs that limit us. We all have limiting beliefs, thoughts that hold us back from living our best possible lives, but we don’t have to stay stuck. If we learn to challenge our limiting beliefs, we can move beyond previous limitations. I hope you enjoy this episode, if you want to reach out you can contact me via Instagram or email: manfulnessmen@gmail.com.

Last week I ran my first manfulness masterclass just for men. It’s something I’ve wanted to do for a long time but haven’t been able to until this year.  I was incredibly nervous about running this class because I wasn’t sure how many men would open up or even show up. Many men are ashamed to work on themselves, there’s embarrassment to reach out for help or learn from other people. It actually went really well; we had fifteen guys who were incredibly receptive, and we got a lot of great experiences out of it. In today's episode I want to discuss the lack of existing framework for supporting men, the way men can uniquely support each other, and why I believe the tides are turning and more men are reaching out despite the stigma. Follow me over on Instagram here. Find more information on my website here.

Women are often at a loss for how to help a man in their life to begin to work on themselves. Their efforts can be met with him becoming defensive, shutting her out, or even aggression. Most men struggle to open up about their situation and struggles, so this discussion needs to be done with care. You’re not going to get a man to do anything by forcing him, giving him an ultimatum, or going in guns blazing because this feels like an attack and will provoke a defensive state of mind. In order for emotions to be processed, we need to be out of a state of fight or flight. Feminine energy is often resisted by men, but it is key to understanding and processing emotions. We are not masculine, or feminine, we are a balance of both. Learning to become fluid in these energies will allow men to open themselves up to more joy from life. If you want your partner to work on themselves, you need to learn how to balance your energies. If they are closed off or defensive, use your femininity to hold space for them and allow them to open up. I hope you enjoy this episode. If you would like to dive deeper into the chakras with me, contact me via instagram or email: manfulnessmen@gmail.com.

When we’re in an argument with someone and we start using phrases like, “You never support me. You always put me down. You never listen to me…” If we really thought about it before coming into the conversation, how much truth is there to those statements? Does the person really never do what you’ve said, or is this a generalisation that you’re making to get your point across. Using words like “never” and “always” in my opinion, can start some of the biggest arguments. Instead of coming to the conversation ready to address the issues with truth and respect, we come ready to go to war with the other person and make them feel terrible. If you’re trying to form a stronger bond in your relationship, you have to look at the way you’re communicating and the words that you’re choosing to use. Sign up for my free meditation course here Follow me over on Instagram here

How do we help men open up? I get asked this question a lot from women waiting for the man in their life to talk about their feelings. Often out of frustration, women start nagging to get their man to share more about their inner world and needless to say, nagging isn’t the answer. In this episode, I talk about how you can help the man in your life start opening up and feel safe doing so. I share some of what I do in my men’s coaching sessions and practical tactics I use to help men share what’s going on in their lives. This will be really helpful for all relationships and help you navigate some of the difficulties that can arise when communicating with the people you care about. Sign up for my free meditation course here Follow me over on Instagram here

I've crashed Erika's episode this week as it was such a good conversation and I wanted to share it with you guys here too. We got a lot of questions from you all about how Erika and I set our goals and intentions for each new year, and we wanted to give you the actionable steps that we take to refine how we want to approach a new year. In this episode Erika and I talk through our personal goals and intentions for 2021. My word for 2021 is BREATHE, and so when I look back on the year that was 2020, I can be sure of what I want to take with me into 2021 to accommodate more conscious breath and simplicity. From reflection I’m also able to look at what I want to leave behind. We provide so much value in this episode today, so be sure to grab a pen and paper and take some notes. Sign up for my free meditation course here Follow me over on Instagram here

What I’ve noticed through the work that I do, especially when I’m working with couples is that the female of the relationship is good at dreaming big, setting goals, thinking about all the things that could be achieved, and the male in the relationships is more rigid. Men struggle to dream and they almost assign themselves the role of being the rational, logical one of the relationship to allow their partner to have the big dreams. I can resonate with this as this used to be the case with myself and Erika. She is the big dreamer and the action taker, and I was bringing her back down to earth sometimes with the rational, logical steps that were needed. So I found myself not dreaming of anything for myself. When I started to practice dreaming of all the things I could achieve, I really started to see the power in it, and this is what I want to share with you guys today. In this episode I give you some practical tools that can help you dream bigger for yourself. It’s not easy and you may feel a bit silly to begin with, but the more you practice, the better you will become and the possibilities will start to feel more endless. Sign up for my free meditation course here Follow me over on Instagram here

As we come towards the end of 2020 after what has been a very strange year, I wanted to share with you the questions that I like to ask myself at the end of every year. I think it’s important to ask yourself questions so that you’re able to push towards the life that you want to create for yourself and those around you over the next 365 days. So today I’m sharing with you the questions that I ask myself, in the hope that you will create questions for yourself and contemplate what 2020 has looked like for you. Sign up for my free meditation course here Follow me over on Instagram here

The way I was brought up was that in order to get money, you needed to work really, really hard. You needed to get a good education and then find a job where you could work your way up, work hard and the result would be lots of money. I tried that for a long time and it never really worked out very well. Not because I wasn't earning enough, but because my money mindset was bad. I wasn't treating money with the respect that it deserved. I wasn't looking at the true value exchange that money is. In this episode today, I talk about how my concept of what money is has changed, what my life looks like now and how I approach my career. There are two books that I've read that have changed my life and mindset around money, which I highly recommend you check out if you're struggling with money. Profit First Barefoot Investor   Sign up for my free meditation course here Follow me over on Instagram here

I have something on my mind that's bothering me, and to be honest I don't have the answer to it. But I feel it's important to voice these thoughts and perhaps start up a discussion. What's triggered me is I saw a post the other day about Harry Styles wearing a dress on the cover of Vogue and the backlash that was received. There were comments effectively saying, "Bring back the manly man". This really bothered me because it creates confusion and an intolerance that we really don't need. From the work that I do with my clients, a lot of men struggle with the idea of what it means to be a man. Men are confused about how they are supposed to show up in the world, and comments like the one I've mentioned don't help. We've come so far in encouraging men to embrace the feminine side and allowing themselves to feel more emotions, and then comments like this saying that we should bring back the manly men, just completely derails the whole conversation. I don't know what the answer is here. Tolerance is important but of course I realise that we can't be tolerant of every behaviour because there are plenty of behaviours and actions that are deplorable, but intolerance on something like this seems counterproductive. I'd love your thoughts. Reach out to me on Instagram!   Sign up for my free meditation course here Follow me over on Instagram here

I have another interview coming up for you today and I have to say, I’m loving these sessions. It’s so great to connect with other men and have those deeper conversations. On the podcast today I’m joined by Tim Morrison. I’ve been following Tim for some time and I have been very impressed with the incredible work he is doing for men in the personal development space. Tim began his journey as a personal trainer at the age of 17 and fell in love with deep, transformational work, coaching people from the inside out. During this time, Tim was dedicated to his career as a Thai boxer, competing at high level which saw him win the State and Australian WKN lightweight title, fighting within Australia and also Russia and Thailand. After a severe career ending neck injury, Tim went into his own deep transformational space, losing himself and life as he knew it. He went from a life of passion and purpose to a dark depression, suicidal instincts and what felt like no reason to live, after losing what mattered most to him. After combating a number of mental health issues, Tim vowed that if he ever got through this then he would share how with others. We touch on so many fantastic topics today such as: Masculinity and this idea of hurt masculinity Improving our relationships Shamanic work The power of breathwork The wounds that are birthed in us as children, and how we can heal from those Releasing our traumas to become happier, healthier individuals. You can follow Tim here: https://www.tim-morrison.com/ https://www.instagram.com/timmorrison__/ https://www.instagram.com/timmorrison__/ -- Sign up for my free meditation course here Follow me over on Instagram here

At the moment I'm seeing a lot of the same patterns through the work that I'm doing with my clients. A topic that seems to be a common struggle is boundaries, or the lack thereof. It got me thinking about the fact that as men, we're generally pretty easy going. We don't tend to think too hard about creating space for ourselves or our deeper needs. We go with the flow more, but this can cause issues because it can be misconstrued as us not needing time to ourselves. A lot of the men I'm working with at the moment don't have any boundaries in place for their friends and family and it can be difficult to figure out what your boundaries should be. The way I like to think about it is taking the time to acknowledge what is negotiable for you, where compromises can be made, and what is absolutely non-negotiable. Once you have established your negotiable and non-negotiable requirements, you can start to set up boundaries to support this. Sign up for my free meditation course here Follow me over on Instagram here

This is part two of my chat with Adam Edwards. If you're just tuning in now, I highly recommend starting with part one so that you get the full picture of who Adam is, what he's been through and what he has been able to achieve for himself and for those he's worked with. I absolutely love chatting to Adam and I'm thrilled to have him on the Manfulness podcast.   Find Adam Edwards: Website - Instagram

I used to be out and partying all the time in my hey day and during that time, I came across Adam Edwards. he owned a bars and clubs throughout Melbourne and I always found him to be really genuine, kind and a great person to be around. You can imagine, in the world of clubbing you come across a lot of superficial people, a lot of bad behaviour and not the best atmosphere in a lot of ways, but Adam never came across like that. After many years in the club scene, the industry was wearing thin on Adam. He was suffering from poor mental and physical health, and knew it was time to make a change in his life. Since then, Adam has been on his own spiritual journey that has lead him to his work as a life coach today. In 2016, Adam started a 2 year Life Coach apprenticeship under Carl Massy, ex-army major, and a 20 year Master Coach and Strategist. It was one of the hardest challenges of his life. Since that day Adam has been 100% committed to transforming lives. Victims of trauma and people looking for spiritual healing, guidance and direction in their lives. This is a massive episode guys, so we've split it into two parts. Stay tuned for part two next week.   Find Adam Edwards: Website - Instagram  

Welcome back to the second part of my chat with Dr Jimi. If you're tuning in now, I would suggest going back and listening to part 1 first (my previous episode) so that you get the full picture of our chat!   Sign up for my free meditation course here Follow me over on Instagram here   Where to Find Dr Jimi Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DrJimiWollumbin/community/ Website: http://www.doctorjimi.net/ One Health Website: https://onehealthorganisation.org/ One Health Twitter: https://twitter.com/one_healthorg

This was a really interesting conversation and I'm thrilled to introduce you to my guest today, Dr Jimi. Jimi is not a GP or an MD but a Doctor of Traditional Chinese Medicine. He is one of those rare individuals that is an expert in his field that also knows how to teach others. He has spoken at the United Nations, opened for Deepak Chopra and has even been personally insulted by the Dalai Lama. He teaches integrative doctors across America, sits on the faculty of the America Integrative Health and Medicine Association and is a lifetime member of the Tibetan Medical Institute's 'Friends of Tibetan Medicine'. We touched on so many topics in this conversation that I have split the episode into two parts to give you time to digest it all and enjoy it! We dive into what masculinity really means, the issues surrounding the "woke" movement, how we live with suffering and what it means to be a parent. Jimi was full of so much insight into what the world needs right now so that we can work towards serving each other and our planet in a more meaningful way.   Sign up for my free meditation course here Follow me over on Instagram here Where to Find Dr Jimi: Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DrJimiWollumbin/community/ Website: http://www.doctorjimi.net/ One Health Website: https://onehealthorganisation.org/ One Health Twitter: https://twitter.com/one_healthorg

You may not know this about me, but I am a massive fan of horror movies. I believe it dates back to that Michael Jackson film clip for his song Thriller which was really iconic at that time. There is an interesting side to this horror genre that I wanted to talk about today. If you’ve seen horror films before, you’ll know they follow a pretty similar path. Everything always seems to be going well, the situation is fine and then just at that moment where something exciting or good is about to happen, a monster or a killer bursts in and the madness ensues. The interesting thing that I’ve noticed here within myself is that I used to live my life like this. I wouldn’t want things to be too good, or I wouldn’t allow my relationships to feel really comfortable because I was too scared of what I thought would be the inevitable demise. I didn’t feel like things could ever just be going well. I was always thinking about the catastrophe of what might come next. This sent me down a path of anxiety and depression and really, not feeling like I was enjoying life very much. I feel as men, a lot of us live like this and I want to challenge you on that. Why do we feel that there has to be a negative coming if we’ve been enjoying good fortune or positive experiences. Allow yourself to sit with that and really feel into the moments that you’re creating in your mind. Once you can let the negativity go, you’ll feel a lot more free. Sign up for my free meditation course here Follow me over on Instagram here  

We often talk about how men struggle with expressing their emotions. Or that they don't have the broad range of emotions that perhaps our female counterparts do. That we don't feel as much, we're not as sensitive and we don't really need to work on ourselves. I'm calling bullshit on that. I believe Men are sensitive beings with just as much emotion to work through, but our problem a lot of the time is that we don't really have an understanding of how to deal with our emotions. One of the most common emotions that we see as men, is anger. We get frustrated, we're upset and as a result the first emotion we tend to go for is anger. But how do we move through this emotion? How do we acknowledge where that anger has come from and what other emotions we could use instead to get our point or feeling across. Today on the podcast I go through quite a specific situation that I worked through with a client recently. The realisations were so profound that I felt it was a great opportunity to talk them through with you here.   Sign up for my free meditation course here Follow me over on Instagram here  

I’ve never been that great at playing video games. My brother on the other hand, was a massive gamer. He was really good at figuring them out, and could sit there for hours really going deep into them. I’ve always loved them though and recently we bought a Nintendo Switch for the family to enjoy together. We bought a game that I remembered as a kid, Zelda. It’s obviously changed quite a lot since I was a kid, but the overall feeling of the game hasn’t changed. It’s still quest based. You’re exploring the narrative and you can really go anywhere and do anything in the game. So I had been playing the game for awhile and was getting quite into it. But then, after a while I started to lose interest. It didn’t feel like I was getting anywhere and I was bored with it. When my brother asked me how I was going, I told him that I wasn’t getting anywhere and he helped me find the right quests that got me back on track. Once I was back on track and aligned with the core purpose or directive of the game, I started to get really into it again. I had found the purpose. I find this a really great analogy for life. Often life can get really quite mundane and we become quite bored. We get up, go to work, do the same routine, have a couple of drinks on the weekend, watch the footy...and then we do the whole thing again. It can start to feel like there’s not a lot of purpose because nothing is ever changing. It’s not until we start to explore what else there is, chat to different people, find a mentor (like my brother was for me with this game) that our minds can open up and we can re-ignite or find a new purpose in our lives. I’ve found this to be extremely powerful and I hope you enjoy this episode. Sign up for my free meditation course here Follow me over on Instagram here

I've been working on a framework around what causes us to seek validation and Erika and I decided to sit down together and record the longest podcast episode ever (it was totally worth it!) to talk through it. Erika has also shared this episode on her podcast, The Confidence Chronicles this week. There have been so many lightbulb moments as I've been delving into work around validation and the interplay between the feminine and masculine energies. I challenge you to observe your behaviour and see where you are still looking for validation. Are you working yourself into the ground because that's what your father did, and in his eyes you feel as if you're never doing enough? Are you moving from relationship to relationship trying to fix your partner, being the provider, the nurturer and ultimately not getting what you need? There is so much to unpack from this episode and I'm excited to share more content on this topic with you.   Power Couples Masterclass Sign up for my free meditation course here Follow me over on Instagram here  

I love to read, and during this time I've been able to get back into reading a bit more. It's been really fulfilling and I have found myself coming back to some books that I've read almost 10 years ago. It's common for me to want to re-read books because I find that when I do that, I'm able to find new meaning within the pages, based on where I'm at currently in life. So there are a few books in my repertoire that I've read a few times that I really find to be like works of art. One of which is The Book Of Secrets by Deepak Chopra. It took me a few goes to understand this book as the concepts are quite deep, but lately I've pulled higher meaning from this one and I wanted to share this with you today. Deepak discusses the spiritual life of the cells in our body and I can see a correlation between the role of our cells and the way that we should live our lives. So here are my 10 principles to live by based on the work of Deepak Chopra. Sign up for my free meditation course here Follow me over on Instagram here

What an incredible conversation this is and I’m thrilled to be introducing you to my guest today, Michael McPherson. I have been wanting to dive into the topic of sex on the Manfulness podcast for quite some time, but I wasn’t really sure on the best way to go about it. Then I came across Michael McPherson and I knew he was going to be the perfect person to help explore this topic with you all. Michael grew up in a typical midwestern American household; church on Sundays, meat and potatoes for dinner, and sports as soon as he was old enough to walk. As a child, Michael was sensitive to the energies around him. Because his family was so emotionally and sexually repressed, he grew up thinking that there was something wrong with him that made him different from the rest of his family. In his young life, when it came to sex, Michael was both paralysed with fear yet desperate to learn more. That fear drove Michael to explore his sexuality “behind closed doors” and adopt shame as a form of self-punishment, a burden he carried well into his late twenties all because nobody was brave enough to have an open conversation with him about sex. All of that changed when Michael met his partner, Mackenzie and through many years of exploration and with the help of plant medicines, Michael was able to unlock the true power in sexual energy that goes behind how most of us perceive it. We touch on a lot of fantastic topics in this podcast today, so make sure you stick around until the end! Where to find Michael: Website: https://www.michaelmcpherson.co/ Michael’s Book: https://www.michaelmcpherson.co/book Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/humanity.media/

There's no doubt that during this time life is tricky. Especially for those of us in lockdown, being around our partners all the time if we're not used to it can be a hard thing to navigate. Through the work that my wife and I do, we've been we've witnessed a lot of people in relationships that are struggling and it all comes down to communication. When we first get into a relationship with someone, how many of us sit down with them and really talk out all our values? Talk about the things that are important to us and our aspirations for the future? We might on a more surface level, but going deep enough is often what's missing. As time moves on and we're through the "honeymoon" phase as they call it and move on with life together, we slip into these roles. Roles that we often didn't speak about properly to asses what the other one needed or wanted, and life just starts to happen. We have kids, we buy a house, we move up in our careers and if we don't take the time to regularly chat to our partner about how it's all going, resentment can start to creep in and our relationships start to suffer. Today I want to give you some tips on how to improve the communication and work through any resentment you may have, to find a way forward that is positive for everyone involved.   Sign up for my free meditation course here Follow me over on Instagram here

I went for a walk the other night, and it got me thinking about how much I love the dark. I love the feeling of almost blending into my surroundings and being alone there in the dark. The more I thought about this, the more I started to see that we're always pushed towards the light and to avoid the dark. From a young age, some of us are scared of the dark. We're scared of what we might find in there and so we avoid it. We only want to be play in the light. But the dark is so important. Feeling comfortable enough to go into the dark physically and metaphorically is where great change and comfort can be found. We recently completed a three month mastermind with couples and it was very interesting to hear the difference between the females in the group and the males. The males were all adverse to the idea of this couples work. They didn't think they needed it, that things weren't that bad, they could figure it out and push through. They didn't want to play in the darkness of these underlying issues. Allowing yourself to explore the darkness has huge benefits and true growth. Don't be afraid to go there and see what you can find.   Sign up for my free meditation course here Follow me over on Instagram here

I was watching a documentary recently and they were talking about plant medicines and how they are going through a bit of a resurgence as further research and development has been published around the positive benefits to help heal and support people in a number of ways. There was one point that was made around the importance of dose, setting and mindset when working with plant medicines to ensure a positive experience. That got me thinking about how this idea of dose, setting and mindset could be applied in other areas of our life to achieve positive outcomes. In the case of communication, let's say you're upset with your partner or friend. You want to talk to them about it but you come in way too strong. You're angry, frustrated and the way you've approached the conversation is negatively impacted. They might become defensive, unwilling to talk to you and you get nowhere. If you dial down the "dose" of the anger and frustration and approach it with a more gentle lens, you're going to achieve a better result. You're going to be able to communicate more openly. The same thing goes for setting and mindset as I go into in this episode today. I invite you to really think about the conversations you're having right now and how you approach them. If you use this simple tool to ensure that you're always thinking about your dose, setting and mindset the outcome will always be more productive.   Sign up for my free meditation course here Follow me over on Instagram here  

When I was growing up, the words "I love you" weren't really in my vocabulary. I didn't say them to my parents, to my brother, to my friends, or even really to my girlfriends. That phrase just really made me feel uncomfortable. My wife on the other hand, tells everyone that she loves them and she really, truly means it. It has been such an interesting thing to witness over the years. This got me thinking about those three words and why we hold onto them so tightly, as if we can't say them to anyone unless it's really "important". What does that even mean? When is it important really? I find men especially have a really hard time expressing these kinds of feelings unless it is to their romantic partner. Saying it to their friends and acknowledging how much they mean to them, for some reason feels too open. It's hard to be so vulnerable and I absolutely understand it. I've been testing this out lately and put forward a challenge to myself to tell those around me that I love them, and it has made such a profound impact. Not just on me (because it makes me feel good), but you can see the change in the person that you're telling, "I love you," to. There's a softness, a vulnerability that creeps in and it's such a wonderful feeling. So give it a try. Tell someone you love them, and don't worry about whether they say it back. Just let them know that you value them and don't be attached to the outcome.   Sign up for my free meditation course here Follow me over on Instagram here

Since the start of lockdown 4 months ago, there has been a 30% increase in deaths by suicide. This is a staggering number and there's no doubt that all this isolation is causing a lot of issues for humans as we're such social beings. It got me thinking about men in particular and the conversations that I have with those that I work with. The most common struggle we have as men is that we don't feel heard. So many men tell me that they struggle to communicate how they feel. Perhaps it's because we've never really been taught how to communicate our feelings properly. We seem to struggle to create a space where we can be heard and feel safe doing so. Then it got me thinking - not only do we struggle to show our emotions, so many of us really struggle to cry. Crying is such a great outlet to express yourself. To get rid of pent up anxiety, rage, frustration, exhaustion, whatever it is. Allowing yourself to cry is a great way to release the tension. So I wanted to share with you today moments when I've cried in the hope that it will help you feel my vulnerability and help you feel okay about sharing yours too.   Sign up for my free meditation course here Follow me over on Instagram here

I feel as if guys really struggle to look at ourselves fully and recognise when it's time for us to make a change. Not just the superficial type changes like getting new clothes, getting a haircut and things like that, but the deep change from within. We're not great at recognising when we need to do that deeper excavation, look at where we're at and decide whether its serving us. There have been a few moments throughout my life where I've gone down a path that really wasn't good for me. I was drinking too much, partying too hard and being a real dick to people. Nothing was really going well for me and when I lost my shit at my boss and quit my job, I knew I needed to do something drastic. So I flew to Greece to meet my brother and this is where the introspection really began for me. I looked at myself, looked at where I had been and decided to transform myself. I'm not saying it was easy - it was terrifying to think about the prospect of starting again essentially and wiping the slate clean. But it needed to happen. As guys, we don't do this enough. In fact, we really suck at it. We hold onto a version of ourselves that we've had since we were young a lot of the time, and it's impossible to really achieve true growth without being open to change and reinvention.   Sign up for my free meditation course here Follow me over on Instagram here

We all have these transitions and transformations throughout our lives and if we don’t stop to reflect on how we’re feeling at any given time, how are we supposed to work through it? The fact is that a lot of us don’t really ever delve into why we’ve become stuck in a certain way of thinking, a pattern or a behaviour. We don’t stop to think about whether we really like that job, love our partner or are happy with how our lives are turning out. We go through the motions and as a result, we don’t really ever evolve. This is an area that I’m very passionate about, and to help me understand it I became quite interested in the chakras and the role that they play in the transformations that we go through during our lives. I feel as if there are a lot of men out there that aren’t open to spiritual concepts, and I’d like you to put your judgements to the side for a moment and open your mind to the possibility of a different way of thinking. I hope you enjoy this episode. If you would like to dive deeper into the chakras with me, contact me via instagram or email: manfulnessmen@gmail.com.

When I was back in my twenties I had left a corporate job and had decided to pursue a career as a personal trainer. Starting out in a whole new career I obviously didn't have a lot of money, but I had made a promise to myself that when I was in a better financial position I would buy my dream car. The dream car was a Golf R32 and I had wanted that car for so long. I looked up all the reviews, I watched the videos and I thought about it all the time. After around 2.5 - 3 years, I finally had enough money to buy the car and it was such a momentous occasion. I remember going to the dealership and picking it up and I was so excited. It felt amazing to be able to purchase this car and I felt really happy. The thing is though, after a couple of months the novelty wore off. I found myself unmotivated and sad again, and I couldn't really understand why. As I started delving more into self-development, I came across the work of Deepak Chopra and his teachings changed my life. It was through his work that I came to realise that I was relying on things outside of myself to make me happy. I was always looking for the next challenge, the next materialistic object to give me that sense of fulfilment. It wasn't until I started to go inward and look to my inner thoughts to provide the happiness that my whole world changed. Other links: Abraham Hicks: https://www.abraham-hicks.com Join my free meditation course here

I've got to be honest with you, this week I really struggled. I struggled with motivation, I was tired all the time and I really felt like I wasn't achieving anything. It was causing me to feel depressed and anxious and just not feeling like myself. Even though sometimes you may feel as if from the outside those that you follow have it all together, I want to let you know that none of us do. None of us have it all together all the time, and that's totally okay. So after a few days of feeling uneasy, I really acknowledged that I needed to stop and just breathe. Just to be still. You'd know by now if you've been following the podcast for awhile that I am a firm believer in the power of meditation, but this technique I'm sharing with you today isn't even as far as meditation. It's literally just focusing on your breath, being mindful of your surroundings and emotions, and bringing yourself back to a state of calm and presence. Let me guide you through the simple breathing technique that I use to calm my thoughts and my body when I'm feeling anxious and overwhelmed and I hope this helps you too. Join my free meditation course here  

There's no doubt that there has been a lot of emotion this year. I've found it really interesting to see how society has been forced into a time of reflection not only due to the isolation that coronavirus thrust upon us, but then with the death of George Floyd causing the whole world to take a look at where we're failing each other. The institutional racism that has been brought to all of our attention thanks to social media has been heartbreaking, but it has also forced us to think about how we can do better. How we need to do better. It has also got me thinking about why we always seem to need a "good guy" and a "bad guy", just like we see in the movies. Where do these judgements come from, how are they part of our learned experience and what can we do to shift them? I’m Sri Lankan and I have had my own experience with racism of which I wanted to share with you today. In most schools that I went to, I was the only Sri Lankan kid. Now I want to be really clear here, I love Australia. I love my country. If it wasn’t for the opportunities that my parents were given, I wouldn’t be in the position that I am today. I am well educated, I have a great life and I have been supported throughout my journey. This episode is just to share some insight into where I have come from, what I have encountered and how it has shaped me today. Head to my website for more.

The relationship that we have with our siblings is often quite tricky. No matter your upbringing, there are always moments where you don't quite understand them, you wish they'd leave you alone or you want them to behave differently. My relationship with my younger brother, Matt was no different. In fact, there is a lot about our upbringing that created tension, uncertainty and situations that left both of us feeling as if we didn't quite know where we belonged. I was always the "hard worker", the structured and competitive soul that wanted to be the best. I felt like I had a direction and had this "go-getter" spirit within me. My younger brother on the other hand, spent a lot of his upbringing really uncertain as to who he was, what he wanted to do with his life, and where he truly fit in. This lead to rebellion, acting out and eventually escaping the life that he felt trapped in to find himself in a whole new world. This is the first time that I've had Matt on the podcast and I'm so grateful that he is here with us today to share his story. I learned a lot about his life that I didn't know, and it has provided valuable insight into the specific struggles that he faced. We hope you enjoy the brotherly banter! You get extra points if you can decipher who is who in this conversation. We sound super similar! Follow me over on instagram @manfulnessmen

It's common for us to hear about a man cheating on a woman, and there's a certain stereotype, certain expectation perhaps that this is something that men do. It doesn't mean it's accurate, but you can probably agree that this is a more common conversation to have. But what about when a woman cheats on a man? Why do we not talk about this as much? Do we feel as if the man can "take it" more? That they don't have the same feelings that a woman has when their partner has cheated? I find this topic very interesting and obviously it's a very complicated one to really break down. There are many reasons why infidelity occurs, and I want to talk you through some ways to deal with this situation if it arises for you. From the male perspective, I want to let you know that you're allowed to have emotions and you're allowed to be vulnerable. If you do decide to take your partner back after an infidelity, you're allowed to need time to process.

What do women want? Well as a man, I don't feel I'm really qualified to be able to answer that and it's a question I'm sure a lot of you men out there ask yourselves. To give us some insight into how a woman thinks, what she needs, how she communications and all the things us men really don't seem to understand, I've invited my wonderful wife Erika Cramer onto the show to break it all down. There are so many great moments throughout this episode. We touched on what "love languages" are and how to figure out what your partner's language is. You don't need to take a quiz either, it's more about taking the time to notice how your partner behaves. Erika and I also spoke about the importance of communication and not getting stuck in the blame game or the negative energy. Releasing is so much better than keeping our emotions bottled up, and I know that's tricky for a lot of men. A lot of us aren't great communicators, so we really have to practice if we hope to change. It's not all about us changing for the woman either guys. Both parties have to come to the table here. There needs to be compromises, supporting each other and true honesty with one another. We hope you enjoy this episode. As we mentioned in the episode, if you're interested in watching the replay of our Couples Masterclass, head here for more info: https://erika-cramer.mykajabi.com/pl/155970 Where to Find Erika: Instagram: @thequeenofconfidence Website: thequeenofconfidence.com Join The Sistahood (for the ladies): https://thequeenofconfidence.com/onlinesistahood/    

I’m a massive fan of personal development as you probably already know. My wife and I combined have probably spent over $100,000 in personal and professional development. It’s been something that has been a part of my life for a very long time. Physical fitness is also a huge part of my life and I’ve always loved competing. From a young age I loved pushing myself, and I figured out fairly early on that not only did you need physical strength or endurance, the mind played a massive role. For many of you, I know that you’re on your own personal development journey and this idea of managing your mind, but we sometimes forget that it’s not just your mind that needs managing. What you’re putting into your body, what your body is using is fuel plays just a big of a role, if not bigger to be honest. If you’re not treating your body kindly by eating well and sleeping well, then your ability to managing your mind will be diminished. Your mind needs fuel, and it needs the right fuel in order to operate at the optimal level. So that’s what I’m chatting about today on the podcast. I hope you enjoy it. As I mentioned in the episode, if you’d like to go deeper with this, I’d recommend checking out Grow A New Body. Following me over on instagram and DM me if you’d like any help.

The other night I put on this movie for the kids called Outward. The basic premise of the film is that magic used to be prevalent in their world, and then with all the advancements in technology over the years, magic became obsolete and was largely discarded. While I was sitting there watching the film, it got me thinking of the parallels it was highlighting to our use of technology and all the convenience this has afforded us. But at what cost? We've chosen the convenient route more and more as time has gone on. Doing less laborious tasks, avoiding pain wherever possible and looking for any possible way to minimise our output to get a result. Now there are lot of examples where this is a very good thing, but there are also a lot of examples where this reliance on technology and things that are convenient is killing us. Killing our creativity, killing our ability to interact socially, killing our desire to get out into the world and do things. It's an interesting conversation and I hope you enjoy it. Follow me over on instagram to continue the conversation.

I want to share with you this concept of left brain and right brain thinking because I feel like it's really influenced me to become the person that I am today. This concept states that we predominantly use the left or the right side of our brain, and depending on how we're wired, this informs our personality. If you're a left brain thinker you're more interested in logic, mathematics, planning and strategy. The right side thinkers are more working from a place of imagination, creativity, rhythm and intuition. From a young age, I felt as if I was very much a left brain thinker. I always had to have a plan, a goal and something that I was working towards. There had to be a reason behind my actions and the thought process was very structured. My father is the same. He is great at anything pertaining to logic, but when it comes to social cues or creative pursuits - this was never his strong point. My mother on the other hand has always been a very creative thinker, intuitive and feeling more than thinking, as is my brother. What I wanted to explore was whether you could incorporate both sides to achieve more balance and tap into the areas that perhaps you're less inclined to follow naturally. In this episode I talk you through the journey that I've taken to find the areas of myself that I knew could be unlocked but required exploration in order to develop.  

A lot has changed very quickly. The world has been thrust into an unprecedented crisis and we’re all doing our best to cope with the changes. As much as we’re rising to the challenges, I’m sure we’ve all been experiencing difficulty with life at the moment. We are stuck at home and somehow we have to balance work, family and household responsibilities all at the same time without our usual ‘releases’ of gyms, cafes, parties, parks... It’s a unique challenge. Communication has always been a fundamental part of a successful relationship, but all the more now. With the forced confinement of social isolation, we find ourselves experiencing more of the little things we don’t like in our partners - things we would either usually just shrug off or see so infrequently that it wouldn’t matter. These little annoyances fester in our minds and without proper communication, can quickly lead to resentment and animosity between you and your partner which can spiral into conflict and arguments. Generally speaking, communication does not come as easy to men as it does to women hence why I am targeting this podcast to the men out there finding it hard to share feelings and issues during COVID19 and beyond. Follow along on my journey: Instagram: @manfulnessmen

We are living in crazy times. At the time of this recording we are dealing with a pandemic virus know as the the corona virus. It has caused so many of us to go into fear and worry and behave in ways we wouldn't expect. Here I offer my perspective on fear

Being angry and sometimes violent used to make me feel powerful. It wasn't until a good friend of mind sat me down and show me something that was much more powerful. That insight changed my life forever and I began on a totally new path.--- Send

Today's podcast is emotional. Ive wanted to do this one for a while but would always get distracted. But after hearing about the tragic death of Kobe Bryant and his daughter, I felt like the time could not be better. This is a podcast for my boys. I have