Things Joe Hates

Here is an episode about something Joe loves but Lisa absolutely HATES, Cicadas.  Brood X Cicadas are out in full force at our house and Lisa is really wigged out by them.  Good thing this only happens once every 17 years.  We have a couple of good cicada stories and if you listen all the way to the end you can hear what they sound like.  The recording doesn't really do these bugs justice I have measured their sound at about 70 dB with my phone but some friends have measured it at closer to 80 dB.  

Here is a bunch of things that Joe hates about sayings and malapropisms.  You know normally, I listen to these episodes before I upload them.  But not this time.  And that bit me in the but.  I already fixed one blooper where I cussed.  It's a good episode as I recall.  Please enjoy.  

Wow 28 grab bag episodes.  Joe hates a bunch of random things and Jake loves the non sequitur nature of these episode.  This week Joe talks about being asked, "Where you goin' with that gun in your hand?"  You know I actually did take a survey of Joes in college.  It was a small sample size but I found that 4 out of 5 guys named Joe do, in fact, hate being asked, "Where you goin' with that gun in your hand?"  So it's not just me.  We have a bunch of episodes saved up so there may be a second episode later this week.  Imagine that! Two episodes in one week.  Ok enjoy this episode.  See you soon.

This week Joe, Lisa, and Jake talk about their trip to Texas.  There are tons of things that Joe hates about traveling but traveling during a pandemic provides many more opportunities to hate.  We also talk about the great parts of this trip like a wedding (congratulations Rachael and Jamison), a visit to Harry's of San Saba (https://harrysboots.com/) and more.  Do you like the picture for the episode.  We talk about this in the episode.  I couldn't recall it on mic but they are called Team Ghost Riders.  Are you still reading these, Kirk?  Anyone else?  Let me know.  BTW I think this is one of our better episodes.  Enjoy.

This week, Joe lets everyone know why he hates working from home.  It's the constant interruptions from the dogs or being asked to kill a spider.  It's a good episode.  Hey, did you notice that there was no episode 144?  Well, we did record one but it needs a little more work.  It will be out later but I think I'm going to keep the episode numbered 144 then just release it as "the lost 144th episode."  Anyway, one person did reach out to me about these descriptions but it was Kirk from episode 141.  Hi, Kirk! I assume that you are reading this one too.  We talk about you in this episode.  Kirk doesn't count because he's not just a listener but he has been a guest on the show.  If you are reading these you can be the second person to let me know or, as I prefer to think about it, the first person who has never been on the show that sent me an email about the descriptions.  I guess this also excludes Andy and Dave.

Joe has grown to hate winter and this year he has had enough.  The rage from this recording was so fierce that Old Man Winter packed up and left.  You're welcome, listeners.  Yes, that's how I'm spinning the untimely release of this episode.  It's technically still winter so, shut up.  It will be winter until the vernal equinox.  There's a fifty cent word for you to use on March  20th, vernal equinox.  Oh, by the way, I'm sure you noticed this but I'm still doing the thing where I ramble on in my episode descriptions.  Well, that's it from me for now.  Don't forget to send me an email if you see this.  You'll be the first.

Here is a small sampling of the things Joe hates about being himself.  One of those things is writing these descriptions for the episodes.  Remember last episode when I said I would be surprised if anyone read these?  Well, I have had no feed back on my previous episode description.  Thus, I have decided that I am going to keep doing these non-sequitur descriptions for the time being.  Maybe I will do some coded messages or something.  I don't know.  Anyway, there is not a lot of listener hate this episode.  It seems no one else hates things about being Joe so please enjoy our final "Being Joe" episode.

It's an episode with a guest again.  Joe and Lisa's friend Kirk joins us this week to talk about kitchens.  It's a good episode.  You know, I put a lot of thought into these episode descriptions and I don't think that anyone reads them.  Are you reading this?  Let me know if you do.  I'm not going to make mention of it.  I just want to see if I'm wasting my time.  Well, maybe I will mention it later if no one says anything or if I get a bunch of people that tell me they do read them.  You see, I think that people just look at the title of the episode and make a decision on whether they are going to listen to it or not.  I think our loyal fans listen to every episode and I totally love you guys for that.  Anyway, Joe hates stuff about his kitchen, so do Kirk and Lisa but not Jake.  Jake's kitchen is great.  There's listener hate too.

It's our COVID-19 Episode.  Yea, we tried to not do one of these episodes but Joe finally cracked.  He's had enough.  Naturally we start this episode off with Joe's hate for Ford Motor Company and their design and packaging decisions (It's fresh in his mind so he had to talk about it).  Then it's on to the COVID-19 hate.  Joe hates that he hasn't been to the gym in about a year, not seeing people, and the slow rate of vaccine rollouts.  All this and a ton of listener hate. 

We are back with our first episode of 2021 and we have a guest.  Joe's college buddy Andy joins us on the show this week.  Joe hate a random assortment of things including the way Andy pronounces "nuclear," and painting.  Plus there is a ton of listener hate.  

2020 was tough.  Mistakes were made.  Here they are.

On the 13th day of Christmas Joe did finally  Drop the Christmas Special Regretting the lateness It's pretty good You should give a listen Ok enough of that, it's late but it's here.

Part 9.  Can you believe it?  Joe and Lisa talk about a "quick stop" at the yarn shop.  Then it's on to how it seems everyone has forgotten how to drive, large trucks, and people that NEED to park next to you.  All this and a bunch of listener hate too.

This week we continue with the topic of writing.  Joe has a bunch of clichés and tropes that he hates including his distain for the weak writing practices of "endangering the bah-bee" and "killing the parents" to engage the audience.  Joe also hates Deus ex Machina, romcoms, and more.

Joe discusses some of his least favorite authors in this episode.  Joe hates the works of John Steinbeck, the style of George R.R. Martin, and the Horror of Stephen King.  Joe goes on to add his distaste for long drawn out stories in fantasy books.  All this and a ton of listener hate too.

Joe Hates the earbuds he earlier praised, no shave November, a lack of paper towels, and more.  Plus, Joe learns that no shave November is no longer a thing and Lisa reaches her limit. All this and a pile of listener hate.   We are working on the audio quality but it’s better to release an episode than miss another week.   https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCK3wYmx-gG5_-RzAvBCZzfw   https://podfixnetwork.wordpress.com/

It’s the first episode we recorded in our new studio.  We start with some listener feedback then it’s on to the video game hate.  Joe hates some things about Fortnite, PUBG, other Battle Royal games, and so much more.  Don’t forget to hit us up for an invite to the discord channel.   https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCK3wYmx-gG5_-RzAvBCZzfw   https://podfixnetwork.wordpress.com/

Here it is, our first Halloween episode in 2 years and it is NOT TO BE MISSED.  Joe hates that we didn't have a Halloween episode last year, but you know, Lisa died.  Joe also hates the early Halloween candy and the late specials from The Simpsons.  There's more and a bunch of listener hate too.  Check it out.

We open this episode with a big announcement.  Then it's on to the rest of this phoned in half-assery.  It's a good episode thanks to our listeners and we wrap up with an explanation of the difference between "Karening" and "Joeing."

Joe rants about CBS all access running ads in a premium service, not being able to see everyone's tweets and one more thing that makes sense because it's Joe, but there is no way you will see this coming.  All this a plethora of listener hate.

  What better way to celebrate 1 year from Lisa’s event than to complain about getting old?  This week Joe hates the music in ads, aches and pains. And reading without bifocals.  What an old man he is.  Plus there is a ton of listener hate.     Happy 1st Rebirth day to Lisa.  Listen to the Hell we went through 1 year ago here:   https://thingsjoehates.com/e/lisas-story-why-we-have-been-away/  

This is a new topic, things Joe hates about being Joe.  It's pretty self explanatory.  Joe hate the social awkwardness that occurs when he waves back at someone who is not waving at him, being the last to know something, and when people get his name wrong.  All this and a ton of listener hate.     Support Jen here: https://ote4victory.org/jen-fackler/

Hey! Want to hear a veteran podcaster talk into the wrong side of the microphone for the entire episode?  Honestly, I debated uploading this episode at all but here it is.   This week Joe hates his cell phone (and his whole family is sick of hearing him complain about it), having to replace something that should have lasted longer, and consumer grade PCs (read as: a PC Joe didn't build himself).  All this and a ton of hate from our listeners.

It’s another grab bag episode (Jake’s Favorite).  Joe hates sweaty phone screens, sand, dropping stuff and more.  As usual, there is a ton of listener hate as well.   https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCK3wYmx-gG5_-RzAvBCZzfw   https://podfixnetwork.wordpress.com/

It’s another driving episode.  This time, Joe hates stupid bumper stickers, parking, an more.  Plus you get to hear Joe’s favorite parking story (everybody’s got one) where Joe takes a car airborne.  All this and a ton of listener hate.

We start this week with some follow up and a shoutout to one of our young listeners.  Then it’s on to the hate. Joe hates mowing the lawn, ill-tuned lawn mowers, falling off ladders and more.  As always we rate a ton of listener hate.   https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCK3wYmx-gG5_-RzAvBCZzfw   https://podfixnetwork.wordpress.com/

WE ARE BACK!! Jake is all graduated, the stay at home order is lifted and we can record in person again.  Did you miss us?  Because, we missed the hell out of you. This week Joe hates COVID-19 Commercials, Hollywood's lack of creativity, and having a doppelganger.  The episode picture is not Joe.  Seriously, it' a guy named Cory Thompson who works at Metro Ford in Kansas City.  Plus we rate a bunch of listener hate and Jake hears a first hand account of Joe being called Satan(ic).

This week we start off with a story of Joe’s trip to the ER.  Don’t worry. He risked his life going to a hospital for something that turned out to not be that big of a deal.  Then it’s on to the hate. Joe hates mashed potatoes, that vile water that separates from ketchup and mustard, buttering bread and more.  All this and the usual ton of listener hate.  https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCK3wYmx-gG5_-RzAvBCZzfw https://podfixnetwork.wordpress.com/

Joe found something new to hate, bad design.  Joe hates products that are designed to benefit the company at the expense of the customer’s experience and products that are engineered to break.  Plus we rate a ton of listener hate where Joe spends too much time on the topic of salad tongs. https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCK3wYmx-gG5_-RzAvBCZzfw https://podfixnetwork.wordpress.com/  

There are things that people do that Joe hates, like spitting, posting stupit stuff on social media, pandering and more.  Then we rate a bunch of listener hate. All this and another one of Joe’s dreams.     https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCK3wYmx-gG5_-RzAvBCZzfw   https://podfixnetwork.wordpress.com/

Right now, every podcast is a COVID-19 podcast and Things Joe Hates is no exception.  This week it’s a grab bag and Joe hates some tangentially related stuff like working from home, remote podcasting, and coughing so hard he “pulls a diaphragm.” (Yea, he actually says that, like he has more than one diaphragm.  He doesn’t). Then it’s on to the listener hate and a really good Rant of the week.   https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCK3wYmx-gG5_-RzAvBCZzfw   https://podfixnetwork.wordpress.com/

It’s been 6 months, but Lisa is back on the road. To celebrate we have an episode on driving.  Joe hates ambulance chasers (people who advance their position in traffic at the expense of those who have pulled over, not the lawyer types), staring into the sun, not having a convertible, and riding in the car with Lisa.  Plus we rate a ton of listener hate.   https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCK3wYmx-gG5_-RzAvBCZzfw   https://podfixnetwork.wordpress.com/

This week we ask for your feedback in the form of polls.  Please vote on Facebook and Twitter. Then we find out that Joe’s hate is by no means permanent. Then it’s on to the hate.  Joe hate missing key ingredients, cereal that scratches the roof of your mouth, the pressure of making fried eggs and more. Then it’s on to the listener hate where we have to warn you, we talk about foods you don’t typically see, i.e. it gets a little gross.

This week we hear from Lisa first.  Lisa hates loud chewers and blinking loudly.  Then we move on to Joe’s hate for mumbling, non-learning, and unhelpfulness.  Speaking of being unhelpful, this episode has some very good advice from Joe on the topic of public speaking.  Then it’s on to a bucket of listener hate. https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCK3wYmx-gG5_-RzAvBCZzfw https://podfixnetwork.wordpress.com/

We are in a new studio and we start this week with some terrible podcasting advice.  Then we get into the hate about, what else, moving. Joe hates all the crap that is left over, people who ask you to help them move rather than hire movers (yep, he’s a jerk), and moving a piano.  There’s lots of fun recaps of the move in this one, plus a bunch of listener hate. https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCK3wYmx-gG5_-RzAvBCZzfw https://podfixnetwork.wordpress.com/

  We start off with some logistics, then we talk Sportsball!  THEN it’s on to Joe’s hate. This week Joe hates smudged glasses, underpowered water fountains, the malice of his daughter, and bad exposition.  The discussion of exposition leads to a discussion of Netflix’s “The Witcher.” Then Joe rates a ton of listener hate and tells the touching story of the time his son caused the evacuation of an elementary school.   https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCK3wYmx-gG5_-RzAvBCZzfw https://podfixnetwork.wordpress.com/  

This week we open with Jake's hatred for Verizon and dealing with their customer service after they screw up his move date.  Then Joe hates cutesy naming conventions, web browser tool bars, and more.  No episode is complete until Joe sounds condescending and Joe does that here as only he can.  Finally, we rate a bunch of listener hate.

This week it’s one of our favorite topics, Driving.  Joe hates having to chauffeur Lisa everywhere. Lisa hates having to be driven around but she doesn’t mention it.  Joe also hates having to chauffeur the dog as well. The dog also hates this, but like Lisa, makes no comment to that effect here, though she is quoted by Joe.  There’s more too, plus a big pile of listener hate.  A quick question, dear listener, do you read these descriptions?  Let me know on twitter. https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCK3wYmx-gG5_-RzAvBCZzfw https://podfixnetwork.wordpress.com/

This week, Joe hates some movies he has never seen, some with good reason (Cats), some with not so good reason (Star Wars Episodes VIII and IX) as well as a movie he did see (Star Wars Episode VII).  Joe "critiques" Jimmy Fallon too.  Then there's a ton of listener hate.    Don't forget about our YouTube Channel:  https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCK3wYmx-gG5_-RzAvBCZzfw   https://podfixnetwork.wordpress.com/

We open this week with a big announcement, our new YouTube Channel.  Then we get into the hate. Joe hates chargers, incorrect button clicks, ferns, and more.  Plus we rate a ton of listener hate this week.   https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCK3wYmx-gG5_-RzAvBCZzfw https://podfixnetwork.wordpress.com/

2019 is in the rear view mirror.  Please enjoy these mistakes we made in 2019.  We'll be back to our regular episodes next week.  Happy New Year Everyone!!!https://podfixnetwork.wordpress.com/

This is a little different Story Time with Joe.   Joe starts out by answering some listener requests and going over the entire spreadsheet he keeps for weird foods.  Then Joe relates a story about his dearly departed dog, Kevin.

Joe loves Christmas Time but there are some things that Joe hate about this time of year.  Joe hates Peppermint, food overdoses, his failure to send out Christmas cards, and more. We learn about an odd spreadsheet that joe keeps.  Then we rate a ton of listener hate. Merry Christmas and Happy Hanukkah.   https://podfixnetwork.wordpress.com/

Joe, a morning person, has some things he hates about mornings.  Joe hates dirty coffee mugs, deviating from his routine, the aftermath of Lisa’s nightmares, and more.  Plus we hear a tale from early in Joe and Lisa’s marriage. Then Joe rates a some listener hate.   https://podfixnetwork.wordpress.com/

This week, Joe gets hateful about his aging.  Joe hates forgetting stuff, losing stuff, and forgetting about meetings and making unnecessary commutes.  Then we rate a ton of listener hate and no episode is complete without going down a rabbit hole or two.   We passed 50,000 downloads last week.  Thanks for listening, everyone.   https://podfixnetwork.wordpress.com/

Joe demonstrates how much of an ingrate he can be by complaining about Thanksgiving, not the holiday itself but the things that come along with it.  Joe talks about traveling, turkey, and the simple fact that there is too much food. Lisa and Jake share what they hate about the holiday but we all agree that we actually like it.  Then Joe rates a bunch of listener hate.     Have a happy Thanksgiving.   https://podfixnetwork.wordpress.com/

Joe complains about stuff he has no business complaining about, the little things.  Joe talks about throwing away plastic wrap, Hulu, and that stupid slot between the driver’s seat and the center console.  Lisa hates BJ’s Brewhouse. Plus Joe rates a ton of listener hate. https://podfixnetwork.wordpress.com/  

First a little follow-up as we examine the impact of “Lisa’s Story.”  Then it some other incidental stuff and we announce that we are now part of The Podfix Network.  We follow up on our purchases from ALDI and then we get into the hate. Joe hates nose rings, hanger mishaps, and choking on stuff.  Jake and Lisa are merciless. Then it’s a ton of listener hate.   https://podfixnetwork.wordpress.com/

Joe and Jake are big fans of Aldi.  The German efficiency has them enamored.  Lisa is not so impressed. You need a quarter to get a cart?  Yes but the carts always wind up where they are supposed to be (almost always). They don’t have the brands you like?  Most of the time no, but they will always have what you need.  Do Joe and Jake make an Aldi Fan out of Lisa?

First a Lisa update, then we get started with our trip to Boston Market, a restaurant Joe hates but hasn't been to in about 2 decades.  See! Joe has an open mind and is willing to give it another try.  We are without Jake this week so Kayla takes his place and Joe did the editing.  We dine in and you get to hear us be food critics.  Joe ordered the ribs, Lisa and Kayla ordered chicken dinners.  Then it's off to Jake's place to let him try the cornbread.

Joe, Lisa and Jake take this opportunity to give you the story of Lisa's event that has kept us away for the past 4 weeks.  It has been a terrible experience for all of us and for our family and friends, but we are all very glad that Lisa is, miraculously, okay.