What We All Want

This week's edition of WWAW is sponsored by Four Seasons Total Landscaping and has the spirit of “Chippa” Masinga and the love of the South Stand, “Pelt-it-Away” Lee Peltier as co-hosts.   There's emotional tears shed as the lads relive historic Leeds games' they wished they'd been at while pondering if it's a coincidence or just funny how 3 of their Top 5 are from 1972. Marcelo Alberto Bielsa Caldera has halftime team talks which are legendary but Don must have had something special when you see what we did to teams in the second half of the games the lads picked.  There's also the first Zoom Edition of Readers Letters as Mick Zooms in from the beach in Cyprus with drink in hand. He promises not to expose himself on Zoom calls and appears to turn down a job offer in Wuhan which he received via a Readers Letters. He's a man in demand. Barnsley's Pochettino!  Enjoy.

This week's edition of WWAW is sponsored by Morrisons Personal Shoppers all over the world and is the Bonfire Night Edition that has the pleasure of John “I'm-not-a-supermodel' Pearson and Richard “into-the valley' Jobson as hosts.   The lads have insight from a Fly On The Wall in the dressing room at Half Time during the Leicester game. It's a rare look into Bielsa's tactical genius that has caused so many top coaches wax on lyrically about how great he is. And he is. Don't miss it. There's also a review of some CV's submitted for Mick's Resident Reader job if he can't drag himself away from the girls in bikini's in Cyprus and we have our first experience of ‘tech-hacking' as some podcast try's to silence the lads opinions. Not on our shift was heard.  Enjoy.

This week's What We All Want hosts are Luke “take-a-dive” Varney and the player with the turning speed of the Lusitania, Scott Wootton. The lads discuss whether the King of Corn should have got an MBE when he was handing out Meal Deal Vouchers to the South Stand or was he just a ‘twat' imposing a Pie Tax? They also chat about other gloomy things that made him qualify for abolition of his Corn Monarchy. And it wasn't that long ago. The conversation also takes in dating strategies in the 80's before online dating let us expand our search radius and date someone more than once and some other Fake News stories permeated by Gormless-Gobby-The-Whore. Did he say Bielsa-roid or Hemma-roid Mick is in to read his selected readers letters making sure not to mention his ex-wife's name so she has no rights to any of his fish cake and chips and we get his perspective on the pricing strategies for ‘ladies of the night'. Enjoy.

This week we're not in costume at Leeds City Varieties Music Hall but we're honoured to have 2 clowns that used to crop up in pub quizzes somewhere in the country at least once a week under the question ‘name a pair of Leeds players who were so bad they didn't score a goal between them in 4 years', Paul ‘The Kit Man' Beesley and Jordan ‘Honest I'm a Footballer' Botaka.  The lads discuss the good old days of home-grown players and the production line of quality players who've come through the ranks at Elland Road. They chat about some who came through and were part of the Revie Regulars as well as players who came through and went plus todays players coming through the ranks who represent the future. They even take it to the limit and mention some WWAW Ex-Hosts which means they've not all been winners. The conversation also leads to suggestions that Cellino had a recruitment strategy that took in pizza makers, gondola drivers and Italian criminals on parole. After looking at the players he brought in, I'm not too sure the lads are wrong. Was Silvestri a vampire with a hate of crosses or was it the fact he just had flour on his gloves. It's all here with the usual crap. Oh except, Well-In-Dowd who had to go to Pizza Express with some young kids. Enjoy.

This week's What We All Want guest hosts are Keith ‘PC Plod' Parkinson, a 10yr servant at Elland Road and the ‘1yr Wonder' Mikael Forssell.  The lads discuss what's got us all baffled…….who best represents the modern day football professional, Filthy Phil Foden or Kinky Kyle Walker. It so happens that during the discussion a couple of other contenders come in to play. Who would have thought? The conversation also takes in why a country with 1/6th of the world's population can only look to Michael Chopra as their footballing mentor.  Turns out Michael quite liked a ‘flutter' but did he make it to Paddy Power in time to lay off a bet on him scoring the fastest goal by a substitute in the Premier League in 2006?  We also learn that Well-In-Dowd isn't just a figment of WWAW's imagination, although we were beginning to wonder ourselves. His late show for the show was put down to his IT skills. We can't lie, some think he was sat by his fax machine in his garage while some think his late show might have been due to his Stella consumption. Who cares, it was worth the wait.  Enjoy.

This week's What We All Want guest hosts are the Majestyk nightclub brawler Michael Duberry and the player who Sniffer Clarke reckoned was a natural goal scorer, Lurpak himself, Aiden Butterworth.  The lads have a good old chat about not-so-cheap holidays in other people's misery and what NOT to do when you're on holiday in Greece with your little sister. A real public service announcement.  They also give notice to all the idiots who said Patrick Bamford wasn't good enough for Premier League football and didn't pick him for their Fantasy Football Team. All you Toss Pots who picked Chris Wood, Nketyiah, Che Adams or Vydra instead. All 4 of them combined have only 5 points more than Paddy.  There's also a serious question raised that needs answering. Has anyone seen Mesut Ozil and Gunnersaurus at the same time? Could the lads be right in believing its the same person!!!!  It's all here along with your usual favourites of Rate Your Hate and Readers Letters, aptly selected and read for your pleasure by the WWAW Resident Reader. Who, by the way, is pushing for a 20-year old research assistant and thinks the Fuck-Up Jar should be contributing to her wages.  Enjoy.

This weeks' What We All Want guest hosts are the Glaswegian Goal Machine, Derek Parlane and the player who's name was first on the team sheet every week, Tom Lees.  Little did we know though that if you took Derek out of Glasgow he couldn't score with Ronaldo in a nightclub and the manager putting Tom Lees name first on the team sheet every week was the Sunday League pub team manager, Neil Warnock. The boys gives us their thoughts on the Judas players who sold their souls for 30 pieces of silver and the movement at the IFAB to change the rules of the game so you get a free shot from 12 yards if you get the ball inside the 18 yard box.  Its all here along with your usual favourites of Rate Your Hate and Readers Letters, aptly selected and read for your pleasure by the WWAW Resident Reader  Enjoy.

This weeks' What We All Want guest hosts are Darren Huckerby aka Forrest Gump and Andy O'Brien aka P.J O'Brien, the man responsible for all those shitty fake Irish pubs serving food cooked in burnt fat.  Forrest & PJ introduce us to some podcasts and Youtube shows not worthy of the Leeds association and suggest you get in touch with your MP's to take them off the air as a public service duty.  Sipping on WWAW Home Brewed Gin, they re-visit the run to the chippy on a Friday and give us their wisdom on how there's no need to learn how to spell as long as Graham doesn't mind you calling him Gary. They give their Rate Your Hate Scores to Lyndsey DePaul, who has to be the grandma of Rodrigo DePaul, and jimmy Summerville, who must be the uncle of Crysencio Summerville. They also manage to get Dean Smith in there too because anything Aston Villa should be hated. There's also an interesting, behind the scenes look into the WWAW recruitment strategies and some great readers letters selected and read out by the WWAW Resident Reader. Can you identify the theme? Enjoy.

If you failed ‘A' level Spanish that's WHAT WE ALL WANT Premier League.  Kicking off a new season after we got What We All Want last season.  The podcast introduces some new signings and brings Sean Gregan and Michael Ricketts back to life as the boys challenge you to understand why so many ex-Liverpool players own the pundit airwaves and Scouse Sports. Why Phil Fodden & Mason Greenwood like grocery shopping at Iceland Supermarkets. And why Kyle Walker is tossing his EUFA Badges.  During this episode the boys also manage to ask if John Stiles was funnier as a Leeds player or stand-up comedian and if the money in the WWAW Fuck-Up Jar can be used for Icelandic Prostitutes.  It's all here as the boys come to terms with Ben White going from a Rolls Royce Centre Back to a Hyundai and dogs being banned in Iceland (the country……not the supermarket).

The final episode of Season #1 of the What We All Want Podcast is hosted by striker and Republic of Congo native, "Tresor Kandol", and no-nonsense defender "Robert ‘The Terminator' Molenaar". Tresor and The Terminator have a good time discussing: the return of some sports leagues; the notorious players, managers and owners who should NOT RETURN to Leeds, ever; the global spread of Captain Toms; and their levels of hate for various personalities and rock bands. The ex-Leeds lads finish with juicy responses to listener mailbox questions, including best wishes to Aussies as they head into flu season. Thanks to you all for listening to Season #1 and remember What We All Want is... Leeds promoted back to the Premier League!

This week's WWAW guest hosts are "Richard 'bam-bam' Naylor" and "David ‘Enrico' Somma". Richard and David reflect back on their days defending the team's honour and attacking the enemy, then take a long look at past managers, good and bad, and assess the team's all-time Top 10 transfers out, good and bad. And they also provide a very entertaining Rate Your Hate Musical rundown and answer questions from an overflowing Mailbox.  

This week's What We All Want Podcast guest hosts are the bandage-headed Aussie centre back Paddy Kisnorbo and former Leeds top-scorer Red Card Ray Hankin. Paddy and Ray sip on their branded WWAW gin and give you their wisdom on the Leeds' Team Heaven selections for the God Cup, the naming rights for the WWAW Podcast, and the things they miss in Football. They then give out their Rate Your Hate scores for: Boris Johnson, Justin Trudeau, Covid-19 and Brendan Rodgers. And they finish with - of course - their legendary Mailbox. Who knows what the WWAW Mailbox will yield this episode?

This week's What We All Want co-hosts are the late Byron Stevenson who Skypes-in from heaven and prolific Leeds striker John Hawley who calls-in from his antiques shop in Hull. They talk about Victor Orta's great and not-so great signings, Bielsa's impressive coaching staff, and give their Rate Your Hate takes on John Terry, celebrities who give tributes to Capt. Tom and people who say the football league should be voided. And the mailbox segment inspires them to launch yet another branded product - WWAW Cigarettes.

Today's WWAW “guest hosts” are former Leeds players “Roque Junior” and “Billy Barndoor Paynter”…   WWAW - Where every host is a guest host who is just passing through…   Roque one of the worst Leeds signings   Roque boasts about his World Cup medals from his homeless shelter in Brazil.   Tribute to legendary Leeds centre back Norman Hunter.   Wanting to have a go at Mesut Ozil and Neymar.   It's doesn't matter how the season ends. All we want at What We All Want is that Leeds gets promoted.   The alcohol content in WWAW hand sanitizer.

This week's WWAW hosts:  “Martin Dickinson” and “Enoch Showunmi”.   Legal: We aim to entertain, not educate.   Sending Norman Bite Your Legs Hunter best wishes for a speedy recovery from Covid - and a complimentary bottle of WWAW Gin.   Rate Your Hate: Kyle Walker 1/10 for bringing in 2 prostitutes during Covid isolation; Jack Grealish 10/10; Drake 10/10 for inauthenticity; and more!   44:00 First use of the C-word.   WWAW Coaching Tip: Players who hit poor corners should have to run a lap immediately after - yes, during the game.   Bielsa doesn't need God, he is God.   No returns on WWAW merch - even when we fuck up.   Get your WWAW PPE - while it lasts.   Special Announcement: WWAW pivoting from breathalyzers to ventilators. ... That's Entertainment - The Jam What We All Want - Gang of Four

This episode is hosted by former Leeds players, centre back "David Rennie" and striker "Ian Thomas-Moore".   1:00 Sponsorship announcements include Depends.   4:00 Shout-out to Scottish listeners.   6:00 Pouring WWAW Gin (TM).   7:00 Announcing WWAW Hand Sanitizer (TM).   9:00 Bielsa getting off the bucket.   10:00 The Pea Pulling Bus.   12:00 “Do You Want to Win?” documentary.   13:00 WWAW Bielsa Notebook (TM).   14:00 Sgt. Wilco & Bielsa - bringing the city back to life.   20:00 Bielsa's salary.   25:00 Players taking 30% pay cuts.   28:00 Furloughing non-playing staff.   31:00 Kyle Walker: “I'll take a bag of white flour and two prostitutes."   33:00 Rate Your Hate (RYH).   35:00 WWAW Fuck Offs (TM)   38:00 RYH: Frank Lampard   39:00 ***Special Announcement*** Introducing the WWAW Breathalyzer (TM).   40:00 The WWAW Mailbox.

The What We All Want boys return in the characters of former Leeds United centre back Peter “the Fish” Haddock and Frank “the King of Norway” Strandli. They discuss their continuing refusal of a DAZN sponsorship, the club's new Adidas sponsorship deal, Leeds win over rivals Huddersfield, their dream of travelling to Elland Road for the final match of the season and provide updates on their product line of WWAW Gin, WWAW Cook Book, and Bielsa Fit clothing.

In Episode 3.1 the pod is recovered when former Leeds centre back Neil Aspin travels across the ice cold terrain of Toronto to record again at former Leeds striker Brian Deane's after losing the original pod to a system crash. That crash had nothing to do with Neil being out on a bender the night before. But Brian, like devout Catholic Bielsa, forgives Neil and they reflect on Leeds 4-0 win over Hull and past glories - to the extent that their addled brains allow them. ... "This wheel spins, let me off It's not for lack of trying Can't put my finger on it"

John and Steve return to the pod studio and bring Steven Caldwell and Imre Varadi back to life as they discuss the Leeds win they were not able to see on Duh Zone. During this episode the boys also manage to fire their sponsors and announce their forthcoming WWAW Cookbook and WWAW branded Canadian Gin.

Steve and John meet after Leeds' big win over Bristol City, meaning that Steve will not have a heart attack during the very first episode of the show.