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*Episode Replay from September of 2019.* The White’s are back and on fire in this new episode of the Date Your Wife podcast. Inarguably one of their spicier therapy sessions yet, in addition to today’s theme of the Karmic Loop, Garrett & Danielle delve into the topics of parenting, fitness, dating, the art of seduction, sex, and have a candid conversation about the loop Garrett has been stuck in for the past two weeks.  Click here to watch this episode on YouTube Every week married couple Danielle and Garrett J White share insights and perspectives from within their own lives regarding the following topics discussed each month: Week 1: Sex Week 2: Money Week 3: Parenting Week 4: Communication In This Week’s Podcast…. Communication Point #1: The Hamster Wheel When artists inside of Danielle’s programs tell her they don’t have time to do the work required to make the changes they want to see inside of their business and life, she describes that as being on a hamster wheel. “You say you don’t have time and you’re extremely tired…but you’re not actually going anywhere, you’re literally just looping and looping. You can’t afford NOT to have time. When people say they don’t have enough time, it gives them an excuse not to try something new.” QUESTION Where in your world are you making excuses instead of making time?   Point #2: False Lift When you’re going along in life, and you suddenly get triggered about something, you begin to drift into a series of feelings of anger, blame, guilt, and shame, aka the Pit. Once inside the Pit, you want to fix things, but you’re not sure how. You begin thinking, “If only I could go back to how things were before.” As you fall and drift down from the peak to the Pit, you find yourself inside a false lift that takes you back to the peak where you were before…but no change has actually taken place, and nothing is ever fixed. QUESTION What area of your life do you continuously have the same arguments over and over and over again? How is that working for you? Point #3: Collision The only way to change this is to identify that you’re in the loop. If you find yourself repeating the same arguments over and over again, arguing about the same shit, in the same way, that’s a telltale sign you are stuck inside the Karmic Loop or on the never-ending Hamster Wheel. Once you identify that you’re in the loop, you’ve got to collide. The first collision is with yourself, and the second collision is with your spouse. It’s about taking responsibility for where you are. QUESTION Inside your relationship, what are you afraid to have a conversation about with your spouse?   Point #4: Shut Down Garrett is experiencing a loop where he has shut down sexually. He has the drive and yet lacks the hunt for Danielle. “I will sit and wait for Danielle to jump on me, which she literally does.” Garrett feels he created a pattern after years of rejection and trained himself not to go on the hunt. “I don’t do the weird thing, I don’t go pouty, I just do nothing. It’s shut off.” QUESTION Identify a loop you currently find yourself in. What is the first step you can take to begin changing that?   Point #5: The Stack Using the Warrior tool called the Stack, Garrett takes himself through a series of questions and answers about this loop he currently finds himself in with regards to shutting himself down sexually, even though it is very clear Danielle is “open for business.” During the process of asking himself what it is that he wants, he reveals, “I want Garrett to become a sexual hunter again in his marriage like he was in the first year of his marriage. I want Garrett to break the chains of sexual dysfunction in the game he is playing.” QUESTION How willing are you to dive deep into questions of self-inquiry? Communication Challenge: Identify one area in your relationship where you have the same argument in the same way over and over and over. Using the art of collision, begin taking steps to move forward. Date Night Topic:  Talk about things you like your spouse to do that turn you on. Quote of the Week:  “If you don’t have a relationship with your spouse, and all your energy is poured into your kids, it’s gotta be a pretty depressing day when your kids leave.” —Garrett J White  “I have to walk by damn near naked and be like, “We’re open for business!” —Danielle K White      warriorgreens.com dkwstyling.com

  Every week married couple Danielle K and Garrett J White share insights and perspectives from within their own lives regarding the following topics discussed each month: Week 1: Sex Week 2: Money Week 3: Parenting Week 4: Communication In This Week’s Podcast…Communication Point #1: People Pleaser or Conflict Avoider? Danielle believes women typically aren’t people-pleasers, they’re conflict avoiders. Some women are so afraid of confrontation that they always try to make peace. “But ultimately it’s not because we’re trying to please people,” offers Danielle, “it’s because we’re trying to avoid conflict, which later on actually causes us more harm.” QUESTION How does this play out in your marriage?   Point #2: On the Hunt As Garrett reflects this topic of conflict, he realizes that “Danielle is a conflict avoider at the highest level. If you go through what has happened with us in the past seventeen years, she has NEVER been a conflict person.” “The only way we could ever have a real conversation was if I brought the collision to her, and then inside of it, I would actually hunt her down and force her to have a serious conversation with me.” QUESTION Who is typically the “hunter” inside your marriage? Point #3:  Hot-Headed When men become hot-headed inside of a conversation, many women refuse to continue on with that conversation, thus making it appear to the men that women are in this place of avoidance. From Danielle’s perspective, “Women recognize when a conversation or argument isn’t in a logical place and is going nowhere. When Garrett flips his lid, and I feel like I can’t reason with him because the conversation is not in a healthy place, I will refuse to continue, knowing that in this state, nothing is going to get solved. QUESTION Who is typically the hot-headed one in your relationship? How does this affect your communication? Point #4: Initiate or Avoid? Garrett admits being more emotional than Danielle, and one who desires to get into a fight and collide. Speaking to Danielle, “You were never an initiator of any type of hard conversation. Your mode was to just swallow it, ignore it, reframe it in your mind, let it go and move on…and pretend like it never happened.” Danielle: I was avoiding confrontation, and was thinking, “Oh, it will go away, it’ll quiet down. I also came to this place where I didn’t know how to have direct conversations with you. QUESTION Inside conflict within your marriage, who typically avoids, and who typically initiates?” Point #5: Therapy After six years of behaviors and patterns that were not serving the White’s, everything came to a head one afternoon during a huge argument in their kitchen where an ultimatum was issued by Garrett: either we’re going to therapy, or we’re done. Danielle: Going to therapy, we both had a logical sounding board to hear one another’s feelings. It helped me open up and communicate better, and I feel like Garrett was able to go deeper into the story or conflict without hitting his tipping point. QUESTION What has been your experience inside the conversation of therapy? Communication Challenge: Have a conversation around the topic of “Avoider or Initiator.” Date Night Topic: During Date Night, have a conversation about the possibility of inserting Therapy into your lives. Quote of the Week: “Therapy gave us a better chance to pull off conflict and be in a conversation that would require both of us to own our shit.” —Garrett J White “In relationships, I think we argue to be right, not to get what we want. I think we both realized that there’s submission in getting what we want which makes us less willing to be right and more willing to get what we want.” —Danielle K White

* New Episode* The White’s are back and on fire in this new episode of the Date Your Wife podcast. Inarguably one of their spicier therapy sessions yet, in addition to today’s theme of the Karmic Loop, Garrett & Danielle delve into the topics of parenting, fitness, dating, the art of seduction, sex, and have a candid conversation about the loop Garrett has been stuck in for the past two weeks.    Every week married couple Danielle and Garrett J White share insights and perspectives from within their own lives regarding the following topics discussed each month: Week 1: Sex Week 2: Money Week 3: Parenting Week 4: Communication In This Week’s Podcast…. Communication Point #1: The Hamster Wheel When artists inside of Danielle’s programs tell her they don’t have time to do the work required to make the changes they want to see inside of their business and life, she describes that as being on a hamster wheel. “You say you don’t have time and you’re extremely tired…but you’re not actually going anywhere, you’re literally just looping and looping. You can’t afford NOT to have time. When people say they don’t have enough time, it gives them an excuse not to try something new.” QUESTION Where in your world are you making excuses instead of making time?   Point #2: False Lift When you’re going along in life, and you suddenly get triggered about something, you begin to drift into a series of feelings of anger, blame, guilt, and shame, aka the Pit. Once inside the Pit, you want to fix things, but you’re not sure how. You begin thinking, “If only I could go back to how things were before.” As you fall and drift down from the peak to the Pit, you find yourself inside a false lift that takes you back to the peak where you were before…but no change has actually taken place, and nothing is ever fixed. QUESTION What area of your life do you continuously have the same arguments over and over and over again? How is that working for you? Point #3: Collision The only way to change this is to identify that you’re in the loop. If you find yourself repeating the same arguments over and over again, arguing about the same shit, in the same way, that’s a telltale sign you are stuck inside the Karmic Loop or on the never-ending Hamster Wheel. Once you identify that you’re in the loop, you’ve got to collide. The first collision is with yourself, and the second collision is with your spouse. It’s about taking responsibility for where you are. QUESTION Inside your relationship, what are you afraid to have a conversation about with your spouse?   Point #4: Shut Down Garrett is experiencing a loop where he has shut down sexually. He has the drive and yet lacks the hunt for Danielle. “I will sit and wait for Danielle to jump on me, which she literally does.” Garrett feels he created a pattern after years of rejection and trained himself not to go on the hunt. “I don’t do the weird thing, I don’t go pouty, I just do nothing. It’s shut off.” QUESTION Identify a loop you currently find yourself in. What is the first step you can take to begin changing that?   Point #5: The Stack Using the Warrior tool called the Stack, Garrett takes himself through a series of questions and answers about this loop he currently finds himself in with regards to shutting himself down sexually, even though it is very clear Danielle is “open for business.” During the process of asking himself what it is that he wants, he reveals, “I want Garrett to become a sexual hunter again in his marriage like he was in the first year of his marriage. I want Garrett to break the chains of sexual dysfunction in the game he is playing.” QUESTION How willing are you to dive deep into questions of self-inquiry? Communication Challenge: Identify one area in your relationship where you have the same argument in the same way over and over and over. Using the art of collision, begin taking steps to move forward. Date Night Topic:  Talk about things you like your spouse to do that turn you on. Quote of the Week:  “If you don’t have a relationship with your spouse, and all your energy is poured into your kids, it’s gotta be a pretty depressing day when your kids leave.” —Garrett J White  “I have to walk by damn near naked and be like, “We’re open for business!” —Danielle K White     dateyourwife.com, warriorgreens.com becomeaking.com, dkwstyling.com

A picture-perfect sunset by the sea is the backdrop for this week’s Date Your Wife podcast with married co-hosts, Garrett J and Danielle K White. We discover why Danielle has stepped away from her salon earlier than anticipated and what that has to do with Garrett overcoming his aversion to needles. The topics of sex during pregnancy, surrogacy, and favoritism are also part of today’s conversation. This episode is all about life transitions and how the entire White clan is doing their part to make this transition as smooth and as seamless as possible. Every week married couple Danielle and Garrett J White share insights and perspectives from within their own lives regarding the following topics discussed each month: Week 1: Sex Week 2: Money Week 3: Parenting Week 4: Communication In This Week’s Podcast….PARENTING Point #1: Change of Plans At the time of recording this episode, Danielle is 33 weeks pregnant with seven weeks to go until the arrival of their daughter, Isla. A visit to the ER reveals some news that requires Danielle to alter her plans for the next seven weeks. “I stopped working a little bit earlier than anticipated, and I’m just trying to take it easy. But mentally, it’s a little bit torturous. Yesterday, I went to CVS, and I’m literally standing in line chatting with a bunch of eighty-year-olds while I wait for my prescription and look for compression socks.” QUESTION Where in your world have new circumstances required you to alter your original plans? Point #2: Letting Go While at the ER, Danielle was on the phone conducting business with her team members finalizing details of a huge event coming up. When her lead trainer caught wind of where Danielle was and what she was doing, her message to Danielle was, “Let go!” Danielle: “There comes a point where your health is involved that puts things into perspective. I need to slow down, I need to let go, and I need to trust that my teams have this. Sometimes in life, we have to understand that people may not always do things as you would, but we have to give them the opportunity to rise.” QUESTION Inside your world, where has the ‘letting go’ opened up your world and given people inside of your life the opportunity to rise? Point #3: Favorites Bailee, the White’s twelve-year-old daughter, makes a guest appearance on the show and adds her two-cents when it comes to baby Isla possibly being the “favored” child. “I’m really good with babies, but I already know the main focus is going to be on the baby… and Ruby’s gonna have a tantrum about that. You can already tell Isla is the favorite. She has a hair brand named after her and she has her own cool room with everything new.” QUESTION What are your experiences with the “favored child syndrome?” Point #4: The Sex Game Garrett brought up the fact that there’s not a manual for the guys when it comes to having a pregnant wife. Men have a lot of questions and go through transitions of their own during this time. “The moment this is brought up,” Garrett remarks, “you’re thrown into the blender of you’re a pussy.” “What do the guys do when their sex drive is extremely high? What about sex during the third trimester? What does it mean when you’re not getting laid? What do you do when the sex game completely disappears? If we do have sex, will I hurt the baby?” According to Danielle, “There’s not a guy on the planet who is long enough to poke his baby in the head!” QUESTION How are you and your partner handling this transition from the male’s perspective? Point #5: Seasons of Life Garrett: You’ve got these transitionary moments of up and down and up and down; seasons of one thing, and seasons of another. Things are constantly evolving and changing as a couple, and you’ve got to be ok with the fact that they’re changing. Right now, we’re in a big-ass transition. I look at the fruit of what this time gives us, and it’s giving us an opportunity to slow down. It’s giving us an opportunity to look at things from a different angle, and it’s giving us, as a couple, an opportunity to connect in ways we maybe wouldn’t normally connect. And, it’s giving our family a chance to have a different focus. QUESTION What lessons have your life transitions taught you? What opportunities have they brought into your life? Communication Challenge: Do you have a focus on a vision beyond the transition? Date Night Topic: Consider what transition you’re in and have a conversation about it over a bowl of ice cream. Quote of the Week: “As a couple, if you don’t stay open in the transition, you’re never going to see the window to the next play. It’s very easy to close it down and to want to go back to the way things were.” —Garrett J White “I’m going to be smarter this time. I’m going to enjoy my kids AND keep my sanity. I’m going to be with them, and I’m also going to allow help to come in to help me transition through this period of my life. As moms, we’re human… and we also need our space.” —Danielle K White

Welcome to this episode of the Big Money Stylist with your hosts Danielle and Ani who can hardly contain themselves as they share all of the new things happening inside the beautiful world of BMS and NBR. They also engage in an in-depth conversation about the role of egos and the slippery slope of entitlement. In Big Money Stylist, we go over the following formula each month: Week #1: Power Week #2: Production Week #3: Profit Week #4: Protection In This Week’s Episode…..Power Point #1: ISLA The unveiling of Danielle’s much-anticipated hair line, ISLA, is just around the corner and is only going to be available for the students inside of BMS Mastermind. The quality of the hair is top-notch and has been tested and rested by Danielle herself to ensure quality. It’s also going to make an artist’s jobs easier. There are twelve essential foundational colors where everything is pre-rooted, pre-toned, more grams per weft, and less silicone. In laymen’s terms, it’s the best of the best. QUESTION What are the issues you’re having with the hair currently available to you? Point #2: Get Off the Fence The doors of BMS (Natural Beaded Rose education) are closing in April for the rest of 2019 to any new students, so if you’re on the fence, now is the time to take action. Among the other benefits of being a student, with the shortage of hand-tied hair, not only will you have access to ISLA, but you will also get it at the wholesale cost. QUESTION Where are you in the qualification process? Point #3: BMS = Business, Marketing & Sales BMS is the acronym for Big Money Stylist but some students inside the program are referring to it as Business, Marketing, and Sales. “Everybody has a preconceived notion about what is possible to make, or where they need to live in order to make this work,” but BMS blows the lid off those stories. Ani: One of our platform artists who works five days a week, has one employee, one assistant, 2-3 chairs, and a tiny salon did $75k of her own sales in February. QUESTION How has your income changed since incorporating NBR and BMS into your business? Point #4: You’ve Been Declined In order to be admitted into BMS Mastermind, one of the requirements is to fill out an application, each of which is individually read by head trainer, Ani. She’s the one who gives either the stamp of approval or the letter of denial. Grounds for denial include: 1-you are not currently licensed 2-you’re currently not doing hair or 3-how you respond to the questions. While it might be perfectly natural to have the thought that you already know all there is to know about hair and business, placing that on an application is not the way to get your foot in the door. QUESTION Inside your world, what has been your experience when you have had the attitude of knowing it all? Point #5:  Show Me the Money As an artist inside a salon, if you find yourself at a crossroads and are trying to do things differently, the best way to approach your boss is to show them the numbers. Don’t just tell them your vision, SHOW them the numbers and the potential. In the long run, egos and entitlement can only serve you to a certain point. If you’re that person that says it’s not possible to make “that kind of money,” you’re selling yourself short. If you don’t have an open mindset, that leaves you stuck in your beliefs of what you think is possible. QUESTION How has expanding your vision of what is possible opened up your world? Quote of the Week: “As business, hair, and marketing evolve, you also have to evolve if you want to keep up with this game.” —Danielle K White “Our artists are having massive results, ranging anywhere from $10k up to $75k per month!” –Anianne Rivera

This week’s Date Your Wife podcast comes to you via the White’s actual Date Night where Garrett and Danielle explore the topics of conflict and avoidance inside their relationship. They reveal patterns and behaviors that did not serve them for years, which could have led to the demise of their marriage were it not for an ultimatum and decision during a huge argument – which ultimately created an opening that changed the trajectory of their marriage. .  Every week married couple Danielle K and Garrett J White share insights and perspectives from within their own lives regarding the following topics discussed each month: Week 1: Sex Week 2: Money Week 3: Parenting Week 4: Communication In This Week’s Podcast…Communication Point #1: People Pleaser or Conflict Avoider? Danielle believes women typically aren’t people pleasers; they’re conflict avoiders. Women are so afraid of confrontation that they always try to make peace. “But ultimately it’s not because we’re trying to please people,” offers Danielle, “it’s because we’re trying to avoid conflict, which later on actually causes us more harm.” QUESTION How does this play out in your marriage? Point #2: On the Hunt As Garrett reflects this topic of conflict, he realizes that “Danielle is a conflict avoider at the highest level. If you go through what has happened with us in the past seventeen years, she has NEVER been a conflict person.” “The only way we could ever have a real conversation was if I brought the collision to her, and then inside of it, I would actually hunt her down and force her to have a serious conversation with me.” QUESTION Who is typically the “hunter” inside your marriage? Point #3:  Hot-Headed When men become hot-headed inside of a conversation, many women refuse to continue on with that conversation, thus making it appear to the men that women are in this place of avoidance. From Danielle’s perspective, “Women recognize when a conversation/argument isn’t in a logical place and is going nowhere. When Garrett flips his lid, and I feel like I can’t reason with him because the conversation is not in a healthy place, I will refuse to continue, knowing that in this state, nothing is going to get solved. QUESTION Who is typically the hot-headed one in your relationship? How does this affect your communication? Point #4: Initiate or Avoid? Garrett admits being more emotional than Danielle, and one who is desires to get into a fight and collide. Speaking to Danielle, “You were never an initiator of any type of hard conversation. Your mode was to just swallow it, ignore it, reframe it in your mind, let it go and move on…and pretend like it never happened. Danielle: I was avoiding confrontation, and was thinking, “Oh, it will go away, it’ll quiet down. I also came to this place where I didn’t know how to have direct conversations with you. QUESTION Inside conflict within your marriage, who typically avoids, and who typically initiates?” Point #5: Therapy After six years of behaviors and patterns that were not serving the White’s, everything came to a head one afternoon during a huge argument in their kitchen where an ultimatum was issued by Garrett: Either we’re going to therapy, or we’re done. Danielle: Going to therapy, we both had a logical sounding board to hear one another’s feelings. It helped me open up and communicate better, and I feel like Garrett was able to go deeper into the story or conflict without hitting his tipping point. QUESTION What has been your experience inside the conversation of therapy? Communication Challenge: Have a conversation around the topic of “Avoider or Initiator.” Date Night Topic: During Date Night, have a conversation about the possibility of inserting Therapy into your lives. Quote of the Week: “Therapy gave us a better chance to pull off conflict and be in a conversation that would require both of us to own our shit.” —Garrett J White “In relationships, I think we argue to be right, not to get what we want. I think we both realized that there’s submission in getting what we want which makes us less willing to be right and more willing to get what we want.” —Danielle K White  

Coach Sam welcomes special guest, Ravi, to the show today. One of the main entertainers inside the game of Warrior and the Warrior’s Way, Ravi is all about energy. He joined the Brotherhood in August of 2018 during a time when his life was a mess. “Everything was fucked up. My wife hated me, I hated her, and literally, everything was a disaster.” Warrior turned that all around for him. Parable #1: WC3 During the three day WCON3 in December 2018, Ravi was an integral part of creating and driving the energy of that experience with over 1200 men. “It was fucking spectacular and unbelievably inspiring!” “Ravi has an extensive background in performing on world stages with all of the big names in the entertainment industry. Yet WC3 was an experience that stands out because “it meant so much to me. The energy was so intense, and everyone was on fucking fire to win!” QUESTION What was your experience at WC3?   Parable #2: The American Dream Ravi’s father sailed from India to America in the early 1960s with $8 in his pocket and a desire to live the American dream. Within three years, Ravi’s father was able to become established and sent for his wife to join him in America and began raising a family. At a very young age, Ravi was obsessed with the drums and used anything he could find to beat on, resulting in a lot of breakage around the house. At age 10, at his father’s insistence, Ravi began working odd jobs to earn money for a drum set. QUESTION What is a passion had as a child that has carried on throughout your life? Parable #3: Trifecta of Insanity One could say Ravi is living the American dream. He met his wife at the Playboy Mansion and got married on the beautiful beaches of Malibu, he’s the father of two children, and a musician in the entertainment industry. “My life is a Trifecta of Insanity.” Coach Sam: One of the biggest fucking poisons inside the industry are the lies and cover-ups. Being a celebrity today has so many waterfall effects where everything you say – even your intentions –  can get edited. QUESTION Inside your world, where are you noticing the lies and cover-ups?

*This is an encore presentation of a previously published episode.* The Kosher Warrior, Dr. Adam Splaver,  joins Coach Sam in this week’s episode to talk about the most incomprehensible experience a man will ever have to go through. The message of Warrior was completely against most of his cultural and spiritual beliefs, but Dr. Splaver’s leadership within the Orthodox Jewish community and as a cardiologist in the medical community was in actuality a merging of multiple beliefs to help him deal with the pain of his wife’s illness.   Parable #1: What’s Your Story? Dr. Adam Splaver’s journey into Warrior began when his interest was piqued by the ads showing up in his Facebook feed. The experience of Warrior spoke to him, yet as a leader inside the Orthodox Jewish community and a highly respected Cardiologist in the medical community, he was nervous as to how these two traditional worlds might collide with the message of Warrior. The biggest issues he had were the stories he was telling himself. He wondered, “What the fuck am I doing as a religious cardiologist going into a program very foreign to my community and background where I’ll be stepping into a boxing ring, climbing up a mountain and swimming in the ocean?” Unbeknownst to him at the time, Adam would eventually discover for himself that Warrior Week was not a physical event but rather a powerful and painful spiritual journey.   QUESTION Where in your life are the stories you are telling yourself preventing you from acting on a decision you feel deeply inspired to take action on? Parable #2: Tap Into Your Natural Gifts In 2012, while at the top of his game personally and professionally, tragedy struck out of nowhere for Adam’s family when his wife, believed to be in top physical form, collapsed and was unresponsive. With one look at her x-rays, he realized there was a hell of a lot of blood where it didn’t belong, sending him to the ground in a heap of emotions and uncontrollable screaming. Within six months of being told to prepare to lose Shaani, the love of his life, she began improving and Adam believed the worst was behind them as he prepared to enter Warrior Week 28. While there, he realized he has been playing too small in his life and afterward began tapping into his natural gifts of teaching and speaking, appearing on television, inside periodicals, and makes appearances in various public venues. QUESTION Where in your life are you playing small?   Parable #3: Truth Is No Respecter of Persons Coach Sam: So you come to Warrior Week finding something that is actually giving you joy and is feeding your Certainty and Purpose. Life has been numb and it almost took a tragedy for you to wake the fuck up. All your life you have been living by the book and following the rules, yet you weren’t finding happiness and joy in doing that. As you started living your truth, you began colliding with an army of opinion within your professional and spiritual community. Adam: While at Warrior, I came to realize that the message of “stop lying and start telling the fucking truth” was the only way worth living. I had an incident with a Rabbi in my community while I was president of the synagogue, realizing that the rabbinic staff was not living up to their role as a spiritual guide and leader. I confronted them about it, and needless to say, it was not well received. What I learned from this experience is that I have the key, the access, and the ability to make my own connection with God and that I don’t have to go through anyone else for that. QUESTION What adds to your joy, certainty and purpose? How do you experience and express that in your life?   Parable #4: All We Have Is Now Adam: The brain tumor returned with a vengeance in 2016, robbing Shaani of her short-term memory. When we were originally presented with this entire situation, I was absolutely paralyzed thinking what the fuck am I going to do… until I surrendered. I surrendered to the idea that the only thing that I could control was now, so let’s make this the most incredible now that we can. Coach Sam: Every piece of wisdom that you read says don’t live in the fucking past, live in the present, and the future doesn’t exist; the truth is not in the past, the truth is in the now. Your wife didn’t remember the past, she had no power to live in the future, so she was forced to live in the now; and inside of this, you found beauty, love, intimacy, sexuality, and power. QUESTION Inside of tragedy, what does it look like to surrender to the gifts? Parable #5: It’s A Matter Of Heart   Coach Sam: Every single piece of emotion you have felt has been a gift from Shaani to you; gifts that you can use in your teaching as you heal men with the expression of their feelings. It’s coming from a place of experience, and it’s always been a part of who you are. Adam: At the end of the day, my understanding is that our souls are here for expansion: to get better, to get stronger, to get bigger than where we were before. And if that’s the case, then for some reason that I will never understand, God determined that our souls needed to undergo prolonged, prolific loss in order to perfect ourselves. I think this journey that my wife took me on has been an eye-opener, a heart opener; something I’m forever grateful for. And for that, I consider myself lucky, probably the luckiest man alive. QUESTION How many emotions do you allow yourself to feel and express?   Parable from the Pit: “Shaani left this world for an unknown reason. You learned to surrender to what is. She left you many gifts, and each of those gifts come into play in your leadership. You would have never been the man sitting here today carrying so much power and respect if she had not been building your life with you. What the fuck are you going to do with the tremendous amount of gifts Shaani left for you?” –Coach Sam Falsafi “What happens when shit goes sideways? Are we prepared to deal with it? The bottom line is this: having the structure of the Warrior’s Way empowered me to continue on and just keep moving forward in order to tackle – to embrace – this huge problem in my life. If we can fortify ourselves to become stronger, then all of this other stuff becomes easier to tackle. Despite your darkest hour, despite the pain that you have, you are not alone. If you can lean on your Brothers and the people around you that really have your best interest at heart, then you can get through anything.” –Dr. Adam Splaver  

Inside the topic of Power, today’s conversation is all about standing up for yourself. Coach Val and Coach Ani share personal and professional experiences which demonstrate the absolute necessity of standing with confidence and certainty in your power. For Big Money Stylist, we go over the following formula each month: Week #1: Power Week #2: Production Week #3: Profit Week #4: Protection In This Week’s Episode…..POWER Point #1: Brooklyn, the Nose Picker Coach Val describes her eight-year-old daughter, Sawyer, as “the best student and a really good girl who never goes against the grain.” Recently, Sawyer’s fellow classmate made fun of her new braces. Val’s husband’s response to Sawyer when hearing about it was, “Fuck Brooklyn, she’s probably in her room picking her nose.” After more rude comments the following day, Sawyer repeated this to Brooklyn and got written up by her teacher. QUESTION Inside of your “stand up for you” moments, why is it so important for you to have those “fuck you” moments? Point #2: Clarity vs Chaos It’s so important to have exact, clear paths and systems inside of your business, otherwise, you run into chaos, misunderstandings, and confrontations. It’s easier to push things off onto others rather than having those direct, hard conversations where you get to stand inside of your power and value your worth. QUESTION How clear are the systems inside of your business and family?   Point #3: Blowing Your Top? Coach Val: In reality, it’s not about yelling and screaming, it’s about having a conversation about the facts, feelings, and details in order to be crystal clear. Coach Ani: If you are not able to have a direct conversation with others, nothing is ever going to get solved. Your feelings will bubble up, fester, and get 100% worse. QUESTION What happens when you keep putting off talking about something? Point #4: The Power of  No Part of standing in your power is not giving in to what a client says they want when, in your experience and heart of hearts, you know it’s not in their best interest. Your opinion as a professional is valued and trusted. You stand in your power as a professional when you guide your clients with confidence and certainty, while at the same time validating their feelings. QUESTION How do you feel when you stand in your power as a professional?   Point #5: Go to Battle Coach Val: Anytime you absolutely know something is right and will benefit everyone, that’s when you have to stand in your power, go to war, and fight for it. By course-correcting, having conversations and adjusting things, these serve to validate you and give you the strength to keep moving forward. It has a positive trickle effect in every aspect of your life. QUESTION Where in your world do you know you need to have a conversation that you’ve been putting off? Quote of the Week: “Nothing resolves itself by not doing anything; there has to be some sort of a solution. Have that conversion, stand with integrity, and move forward with clarity.” –Valerie Plunk “At the end of the day, one of the reasons why you’re avoiding conversations is because you have a story in your head that says this: If you say something, everything is going to go sideways and be a fucking shit show. As you open up and move forward, you will be surprised by the outcome.” –Anianne Rivera

The Kosher Warrior, Dr Adam Splaver,  joins Coach Sam in this week's episode to talk about the most incomprehensible experience a man will ever have to go through. The message of Warrior was completely against most of his cultural and spiritual beliefs, but Dr Splaver's leadership within the Orthodox Jewish community and as a cardiologist in the medical community was in actuality a merging of multiple beliefs to help him deal with the pain of his wife's illness.   Parable #1: What's Your Story? Dr. Adam Splaver's journey into Warrior began when his interest was piqued by the ads showing up in his Facebook feed. Although the experience of Warrior spoke to him, as a leader inside the Orthodox Jewish community and a highly respected Cardiologist in the medical community, he was nervous as to how these two traditional worlds might collide with the message of Warrior. The biggest issues he had were the stories he was telling himself. He wondered,"What the fuck am I doing as religious cardiologist going into a program very foreign to my community and background, where I'll be stepping into a boxing ring, climbing up a mountain and swimming in the ocean?" Unbeknownst to him at the time, Adam would eventually discover for himself that Warrior Week was not a physical event, but rather a powerful - and painful -  spiritual journey. QUESTION: Where in your life are the stories you are telling yourself preventing you from acting on a decision you feel deeply inspired to take action on?   Parable #2: Tap Into Your Natural Gifts In 2012, while at the top of his game personally and professionally, tragedy strikes out of nowhere for Adam's family when his wife, believed to be in top physical form, collapses and is unresponsive. With one look at her x-rays, he realizes there is a hell of a lot of blood where it does not belong, which sends him to the ground in a heap of emotions and uncontrollable screaming. Within six months of being told to prepare to lose Shanni, the love of his life, she begins improving and Adam believes the worst is behind them as he prepares to enter Warrior Week 28. While there, he realizes he has been playing too small in his life and afterward begins tapping into his natural gifts of teaching and speaking, appearing on TV, in periodicals and making appearances in various public venues. QUESTION: Where in your life are you playing small?   Parable #3: Truth Is No Respecter of Persons Coach Sam: So you come to Warrior Week finding something that is actually giving you joy and is feeding your Certainty and Purpose. Life has been numb and it almost took a tragedy for you to wake the fuck up. All your life you have been living by the book and following the rules, yet you weren’t finding happiness and joy doing that. As you started living your truth, you began colliding with an army of opinion within your professional and spiritual community. Adam: While at Warrior, I came to realize that the message of 'stop lying and start telling the fucking truth' was the only way worth living. I had an incident with a Rabbi in my community while I was president of the synagogue where I realized that the rabbinic staff was not living up to their role as a spiritual guide and leader. I confronted them about it, and needless to say, it was not well received. What I learned from this experience is that I have the key, I have access, I have the ability of making my own connection with God and I don’t have to go through anyone else for that. QUESTION: What adds to your joy, certainty and purpose? How do you experience and express that in your life?   Parable #4: All We Have Is Now Adam: The brain tumor returns with a vengeance in 2016, robbing Shanni of her short term memory. When we were originally presented with this entire situation, I was absolutely paralyzed thinking what the fuck am I going to do… until I surrendered. I surrendered to the idea that the only thing that I could control was now, so let’s make this the most incredible now  that we can.  Coach Sam: Every piece of wisdom that you read says don’t live in the fuckin past, live in the present, and the future doesn’t exist. The truth is not in the past, the truth is in the now. Your wife doesn’t remember the past, she has no power to live in the future, so she’s forced to live in the now, and inside of this, you found beauty, love, intimacy, sexuality and power. QUESTION: Inside of tragedy, what does it look like to surrender to the gifts?   Parable #5: It's A Matter Of Heart Coach Sam: Every single piece of emotion you have felt has been a gift from Shanni to you, gifts that you can use in your teaching as you heal men with the expression of their feelings. It’s coming from a place of experience, and it’s always been a part of who you are.  Adam: At the end of the day, my understanding is that our souls are here for expansion - to get better, to get stronger, to get bigger than where we were before. And if that’s the case, then for some reason that I will never understand, God determined that our souls needed to undergo prolonged, prolific loss in order to perfect ourselves. I think this journey that my wife took me on has been an eye opener, a heart opener; something I’m forever grateful for. And for that, I consider myself lucky, probably the luckiest man alive. QUESTION: How many emotions do you allow yourself to feel and express?    Parable from the Pit: "Shaani left this world for an unknown reason. You learned to surrender to what is. She left you many gifts, and each of those gifts come into play in your leadership. You would have never been the man sitting here today carrying so much power and respect if she had not been building your life with you. What the fuck are you going to do with the tremendous amount of gifts Shanni left for you?" --Coach Sam Falsafi   "What happens when shit goes sideways? Are we prepared to deal with it? The bottom line is this: having the structure of the Warrior’s Way empowered me to continue on and just keep moving forward in order to tackle - to embrace - this huge problem in my life. If we can fortify ourselves to become stronger, then all of this other stuff becomes easier to tackle. Despite your darkest hour, despite the pain that you have, you are not alone. If you can lean on those around you, lean on your brothers, and lean on those that really have your best interest at heart, then you can get through anything." --Dr. Adam Splaver