Big Dumb Ten

The Biggest, Dumbest season yet has come to an end, and we're here to solemnly discuss Ohio State's defeat at the hands of the Alabama Crimson Tide. Also, Travis gets to see how much Ian and Stephen know about metal.

It’s the Big Ten bowl recap and WHAT YOU GONNA DO WHEN BUCKEYE MANIA RUNS WILD ON YOU

We recap a bizarre "championship week" and preview the Big Ten's abbreviated bowl slate while also getting into obscure X-Men, the history of Jacksonville sports, and Illinois hiring Bret "Bert" Bielema.

The Boys discuss Bruce Spingsteen, The Cleat Yeet game, the stupidity of the playoff rankings, big ten coaching hiring and firings, oh and also they review the final regular season of Big Ten football and preview CHAMPIONS WEEK

As we reach the end of the strangest Big Ten season in history, the conference has become ensorcelled by the power of Two. Also Travis and Stephen are beefing with Finland, we give our dream gameday guest pickers, and talk about the time the president of the United States shittalked Rice in front of their own students.

Stephen has been buried in a box in the Sahara so Ian and Stephen recap last week's action, preview games that have already been canceled, match Big Ten programs to Simpsons kids and take aim at Adam Schefter for being such a shill.

Penn State and Nebraska continue spiraling out of control while Minnesota is gifted a victory over Purdue. Illinois ran an all-time great fake punt. OSU is still unbeatable.

Welcome to the Michigan and Penn State Schadenfreude Hour

A wacky week in the Big Ten confirms what we knew all along: Indiana is the best team in the league

Jim Harbaugh royally fucks up; Rutgers has the play of the year even if it doesn't count; Ohio State is going to destroy everything in their path; Wisconsin's season is in serious danger; Columbus remains a nightmare for Ian

INDIANA FINALLY DID IT IN THE MOST INSANE WAY POSSIBLE

Against all logic, Week 1 of Big Ten football is here, and we're here to preview it for you.

It's Big Ten East preview time. Ohio State prepares to run roughshod on the division with their superior talent, but can Michigan and Penn State challenge them in a weird year? Is Michigan State going to be awful or just regular bad? Can Indiana defeat a ranked team, ever?

Well, I guess we're doing this after all. It's the Big Ten West preview. Will Wisconsin be Wisconsin as usual? Is Minnesota for real? How much do you know about corn?

We hated Ballers but we had a week to fill so we're bringing you a backdoor pilot for our yet-to-be-named new podcast where we will be discussing shows based solely on their premieres and series finales. Does Ballers manage to have even lower stakes at the end than it did at the beginning? Or did it mature beyond just showing boobs and scenery as much as possible? The answer is somewhere in the middle.

BIG TEN BACK. AGAIN. We're really doing this shit huh. It's gonna be stupid. This sport is very bad.

With (at the time of recording) no Big Ten season to talk about, we dove into and quickly abandoned HBO's Ballers, aka Sports Entourage. Somehow this awful show lasted five seasons.

With no Big Ten football this year and Friday Night Lights done, we find ourselves discussing other football media. We start with The Waterboy, the second most famous college football movie, and also one of the worst.

Welcome to the preview of the season that won't happen. We live in hell.

Our post-finale character review extravaganza, featuring Geoff, Audrey and Jill!

It all ends. Is Coach actually the villain of the series? Should Matt and Julie get married? Does Stephen know what "in-laws" are? Find out as we reach the series finale of Big Dumb Ten Gaiden: Big Dumb Lights.

The Lions march toward State, but distractions arise when the school district randomly decides to cut football and Tami gets a job offer from a school in Philadelphia. We yell at Matt a lot for his bad takes.

We connect remotely on the chiral network to discuss the Lions' first loss of the season, Julie and Matt's romantic reunion in "Chicago" (known for its "bagels"), a variety of FCS mascots, and peak Buddy Garrity.

The 100th episode extravaganza! We all get to prove Stephen wrong about stuff, but in between those moments we discuss East Dillon's crime-based football skills, Julie's ongoing terrible plotline, and how much better served the Epyck story would be if it were a horror movie.

The Lions have a REVENGE game versus a team they previously forfeited against and get up to a bunch of shenanigans. Meanwhile Julie gets busted by the predatory TA's wife and returns to Dillon in our pick for the show's worst plot. More importantly, Coach is cooking bacon in his office???

Buddy Jr. returns to Dillon to ogle Tami, steal a car and join the football team. Julie starts boning her TA, much to the chagrin of everybody else. There are school-wide consequences for making a drunk girl dance like a puppet. And Vince's dad gets out of jail.

We have made it to the final season of our beloved FNL and the Lions have new expectations--a state championship. Tami has a new problem child to deal with, we finally get a wide receiver character, and Julie has possibly her worst plot line of all time. We also say goodbye for now to Landry and Tim.

Are Billy and Mindy prepared to raise a child? Will Tami "Babykiller" Taylor keep her job? Can the Lions upset the Panthers? Will Vince kill a man? Will Matt and Julie get back together? Find the answers to all these questions as we recap the last two episodes of season 4.

Characters' moms have big time meltdowns in this pair of episodes, as Becky's abortion sends Luke's mom on the warpath while her own mom flips out on Tim because reasons. Vince finds himself entangled with Crimey McThief while the Riggins bros try to dispose of car parts in the least stupid way they can muster. Stephen does not know that he is on the call for the first part of the recording.

There's a toilet on the field! Becky's pregnant! Coach is going to turn the lights on at the park! Luke gets addicted to painkillers!

Stephen teaches us about meditating away the coronavirus and also learns what goatse is. The Lions finally earn some respect by playing good defense that is never shown or discussed. Glen returns for some extreme cringe. Tim beats up a man whose wife he had sex with, and this is a positive.

The Big Dumb Boys must wrestle with their feelings and their urge to riff while discussing FNL's most emotional episode, The Son. We apologize to BTS army for Stephen. Please do not harm him.

The fine folks at UNDER ARMOUR present this pair of season 4 episodes, in which Matt starts his art "internship," Buddy and Tami both get all time great scenes, Luke Cafferty joins East Dillon, Mike Leach has a Lynchian cameo and UNDER ARMOUR provides excellent new uniforms to the Lions after being nice enough to delay cashing Coach's check for them. WE MUST PROTECT THIS HOUSE

We wrap up season 3 and move onto season 4, the beginning of the East Dillon years. Lyla and Tyra depart the show but Tim abandons college after like a week and Matt sacrifices his dreams. Also Landry and Julie are still in high school somehow.

The Panthers continue their road to the state championship game despite Joe McCoy losing control and attacking his son in a parking lot. Stephen didn't realize which episodes to watch so hear him react in real time to the title game!

Tyra has a bad experience on the rodeo circuit while Coach tries to get laid again. Buddy goes beast mode on a strip club and costs Lyla her college money. Crucifictorious plays their first show since changing their sound.

Buddy Garrity's horrible gremlin children come back to Dillon to inundate their father with their liberal values. Then Jason and Tim go to NEW YORK BABY GO METS

Jason Street returns! So do the meth dealers! The podcast is almost torn apart over jelly preferences! Check out Brad Leland on Cameo!

In this episode, we discuss the McCoys’ 10th circle of McMansion Hell, Dark Matt Saracen, Hey Arnold and Yes Dear.

Big Dumb Lights returns to discuss the final three seasons of beloved football soap opera Friday Night Lights! At the beginning of season 3, Smash has somehow lost his scholarship, a new QB arrives in town, Coach is mad about smoothies and Tim eats rare squab at a bad fine dining restaurant.

On the season finale of Big Dumb Ten, Stephen is overwhelmed with grief after attending Ohio State's playoff loss to Clemson. Can he comfort himself by winning Better Know a Big Ten player or observing Michigan's continued failures? Is Justin Jackson the leftist icon we need right now? Is the Big Ten any good? All this and more at the end of BDT S3.

Ohio State survived a scare in Indianapolis to ensure their place in the playoff. Now it's time to preview their matchup with Clemson as well as the Big Ten's other "exciting" postseason contests this bowl season.

Our conversation about rivalry week is slightly delayed because we have to explain the details of Yu-Gi-Oh to Stephen, but rest assured we will talk about Michigan getting destroyed yet again, Illinois losing the hat to a terrible Northwestern team, and Rutgers rekindling an old flame.

Chase Young and the Buckeyes took care of business against Penn State while Minnesota and Wisconsin beat their opponents to set up a HATE WEEK for the ages. Also Maryland is the worst team that nobody talks about.

We postpone Death Stranding chat to talk about Pokemon instead. Please do not look up sexy Galarian Weezing. Football happened also, including Indiana's accidental fake punt and Michigan State's endless personal fouls.

Ah fuck the episode is out late again. Shit. Our predictions were better this time though!

Finally all three of us are on the pod again (and Stephen is back in the states) but none of us watched any of this week's bad football so it's tangent city! Discussion includes but is not limited to: Death Stranding, Rutgers coach Luigi, the world's largest money line, the football version of That Don't Impress Me Much, and coaches' favorite music acts.

Travis is back but Ian is gone, so we're a little bit more football-focused as Nunzio Campanile gets his (probably only) win, Michigan blows out Notre Dame, and Wisconsin shits the bed in Columbus.

Travis was waiting in line at Cedar Point all day and unable to record so Ian and Stephen did some dumb bullshit about which coaches are Metal Gear Solid villains or whatever. Stephen's Jim Harbaugh knowledge is pitiful.

We open this week's episode by talking at length about an SEC game, but eventually we get into The Saddest Rutgers Stat Ever, Michigan in panic mode at 5-1, and future Rose Bowl participants Minnesota. Also Marina Abramovic, again.

Michigan and Iowa played the most boring game of all time so we'd rather talk about wrestling.