Fight In The Wolf

Lyrics: I got the mind I'd left behind It's not in rhyme But has the rhythm I wandered blind To learn insight I'm not alright But that's a given XXX Spooky dreams Haunt my rest And glitch my programs Through the tears I've suppressed I'd sink five oceans Lucid screams Not expressed Dictate these vocals Souvenirs In my head Inflate emotions XXX I got the mind Hard blows designed All rotten files Need overwritten I'm caught in tides That slow my strides Forgotten smiles Leave holes within me

Time goes fast But the emotions last They seem a chore to master Let them lead you They'll leave you hanging Climb the mast And steer us from the past We've leaked from shore to harbour Let the sea through Then seal the damage XXX I've wished and bowed and prayed Pity sounds delayed Drink these sour grapes Squished into lemonade I'm wilting by the flame I think myself insane I sit mid deck in waves Wishing for better sails But XXX Time has crept Here in its arms I've slept I'm in the prime of death Peering through curtains At what I've spent I climb the steps Of sadness and regret I paid each bill direct Secrets and burdens I pay by cheque XXX Time demands Banned feelings bind both hands They breed like spores in dampness Wade in deep boots To heal that sadness Life seems harsh Bad dreams rewind sore pasts They squeal like moles in darkness Bathe the deep wounds To reach that madness XXX I've missed the brighter days Things that life forbade Imprisoned in the shade Enclosed in anger's cage So I'm clinging on in vain Insisting life must change I itch inside my brain Which lotion calms this rage? XXX Time has crept Hearing its chimes I've wept I'm in the prime of death Nearing destruction Behind on rent I climb the steps To pay my last respects I have defined myself Repeating functions My mind has learnt XXX

Cradle my head just right Make shapes by the bedroom light Be patient and well tonight Take care that my health’s alright Tuck in my teddy tight And dust where the bed bugs bite Please say one last precious rhyme And waken me when its time XXX Sketch lines I’ll fill with joy Tell me I’m your little boy Protect me from hurtful words And shelter me from the world Soothe me til I’m at ease Good roots build the highest trees With you here I’ll never fear We’ll shoot beasts with silver beads XXX Mend this gown with broken scissors Upend my frown with smoke and mirrors I tend the mound where hope still withers I fed the hound my only slivers By roots I’m bound in earth malicious The wolf now growls at any issues He chews on doubt, finds stress delicious And looks around with tense suspicions XXX Place gratitude in my hand And my heart will understand We’ll pray for that second chance Create a new circumstance We’ll paper the cracks and scuffs And tape up the damaged stuff We’ll shake out the tarnished rugs Replace all the shattered bulbs XXX Send the clown back when I falter And let me down with threads I altered I pencilled out what pen had ordered So when I drown drop cents in water My heart stopped cold to kill what’s rotten I glanced below at things forgotten A cache of gold that sinks to bottom My hands let go and swim the torrent XXX

Lyrics: I am the seed that struggled Sewn by the trees I smothered So shy with weeds for brothers CO high as breathing suffered I have belief things might change Harsh winds will reveal my place Past things did not seal my fate Reengineer this nightmare XXX Prick the ground for life’s endurance Every cloud holds vital fluid Sinking down I’ve primed my roots I didn’t sprout but time grew shoots whoa! In the mud I’ve gleaned a truth Belief in something out of view Guess feeling hurt caused something new When thunder stops I’ll fucking bloom so XXX Soldier on I will see the dawn I’ve been trampled on I’m still bleeding, cut up on the thorns Soldier on Everything was wrong All my hope was gone But it feeds me, the hunger is strong XXX I am the seed that surfaced Patiently seeking purpose Fated to be malnourished Hating my peers who flourished Slow tide, cold breeze above me Low flying bees just stung me No mind should feel unworthy Coax my beliefs to love me XXX Crown the gaffes and frame the madness Doubt will pass, just bear the sadness Every lapse brings wisdom’s chances Ditch the past’s grim circumstances Train the mind to dodge the bullets Cross the mines and wander through it Take the time to start a new you Stop the vices that consume you XXX Soldier on I will see the dawn I may hit the wall I’m resilient, so I will respawn Soldier on Everything was wrong I’ve been shit upon Hasn’t killed me, and that’s why I’m strong XXX

Save me from all that ails me I’m always failing My tangled blooms need a paring Lately my mind is racing I’m sideways facing This parachute needs replacing XXX Why aren’t my options open? Why is my conscience crowing? I’ve docked, the water’s frozen I’m not alarmed I’m irate All the best words are spoken All of these rungs seem broken I’m swapping fun for boredom Caught in a harsh mental state XXX Talk to me Or take a shot at me Just like a lottery My life’s a crazy cacophony Pray for me Or stay away from me Just dig a grave for me And I will lay here with all my dreams XXX Wake me When life’s less crazy When light leads day here When heavy moods don’t impair me Fate seems To fucking hate me Give me a break, dear I pressed reboot while still saving XXX Why are my spikes ferocious? My grasp at life’s atrocious Space blank for diagnosis I’m not insane but I’m close Why isn’t silence golden? Sipped hell now I am choking Tripped, fell, now lie here broken I got the pain that I chose XXX Caution me Do what you want with me Break the monotony My life’s a crazy cacophony Pray for me Or stay away from me Just dig a grave for me And I will lay here with all my dreams XXX

Please enjoy my latest track which is available as a free download! Lyrics are below: I’m not ok My palette’s black, white and grey Sadness fills up my day Chances spit in my face Sadly I know despair Madness sits second chair I grapple with fear and shame Got the wrong DNA Badly XXX I wander in mist And I punch walls with my fist I’ve drunk poison for my thirst Empty space fills my lungs daily I keep logs and long lists Of my deep flaws and wrong twists It just feels wrong to exist I behave how the world made me XXX Pour me A magic potion Apply some lotion Soothe the pain I suffer Throw me To the ocean Calm my emotion Put my brain together XXX I am enslaved I carry more than I weigh I’m startled and feeling scared Habits call out my name Loudly I’m firing flares I think my mind needs first aid A three month line for the pain Ease the anger I wear Proudly XXX I’m not quite convinced Got a fine frog from a prince Tend to jog more than I sprint Out of breath still I get nowhere I’m awkward at things And I can’t stop catching sins I just bob up then I sink In my head I’m distressed mostly XXX Pour me A magic potion Apply some lotion Soothe the pain I suffer Throw me To the ocean Calm my emotion Put my brain together

Make me numb Fill my glass up with rum Many hands have turned Can’t forget what I’ve done Fucking pound the drum Turn the volume right up Let the horsemen come Can’t correct this with words uttered XXX My deeds won’t let me go They’re feasting on my soul They’ve seeped inside this hole Can’t get clean from all this soap The seasons come and go But leaves still clog the flow They’re reaching from below Cut me free or hoist the rope XXX The storm won’t rest And I can’t pay my debt Here in this sea I’m wet And I think such heavy thoughts I keel The river gleams Here in my wildest dreams But I can’t be redeemed My God I’d tell you I’m sorry if you could hear XXX Make it stop Make the blood in me clot Pick apart the knots Let the maggots fall off Still my conscience rots I am haunted by thoughts My tomorrow’s robbed And I’m tangled in thorns stinging XXX I’m feeble, weak and slow And reaping what I sow I’m teaching grief to grow Can’t be healed of settled woe My feelings eat me whole They tease apart my soul Chase peace I’ll never know Can’t be cleared of what I owe XXX The storm won’t rest And I can’t pay my debt And both my feet are wet And I think such heavy thoughts I scream The river gleams Here in my wildest dreams But I can’t be redeemed Oh God I’d tell you I’m sorry if you were here XXX

I trample through a wilderness Where nothing soothes me of my stress Might something cure these twitching nerves An ampule full of happiness please XXX Laugh if you’ve gotta I’m drowning in vodka Weighed down to the bottom Rocks in pockets deep Seems I’ve forgotten Each thing I’ve been offered It’s yours if you want it So rock me off to sleep XXX So will you take me to Wonderland? I’d like to escape Yeah well that’s the plan But poke me or shake me if fun turns bad And if I go crazy Please make me calm, man XXX I’m trapped behind a wooden fence Where nothing happens that makes sense Could someone tell the universe These circumstances cause distress XXX Can’t cope with my problems I’m choking on vomit I know I’m neurotic There’s bedlam in this head I wept through the beatings And slept through proceedings Suppressed my true feelings I’m seldom not depressed XXX So will you take me to Wonderland? I’d like to go play In another land I make these mistakes so I’ll understand So close all the drapes and untuck the latch now XXX

Baby I miss you daily My symptoms vary But I think you’re the one for me And lately been feckin’ crazy One-petal daisy I’m just this fool who runs from fear XXX The direction I’m facing And grenades I’ve been placing Leave the walkway unstable So I freeze and cannot move I’ve been contemplating These mistakes I’ve been making The missteps that I’ve taken They still lead me back to you XXX So let me hit pause ‘Cause I’ve done everything wrong And I’ve waited too long And my best chances are gone, fucking blew it Show me my flaws I’ll strive to change them No matter the cost I’ll make repayments Hit a brick wall I’ll try to scale it Show me the way to come home XXX Baby I’m such a failure Scold my behaviour I’d be a fool to part with you I’m faithful And my body’s grateful So don’t make this painful I gotta lose this attitude XXX In a bad situation I succumb to temptation Try to vent my frustration But crawl back to what I know Keep me under sedation Dreaming for the duration Pleading for that sensation I’ll be back before you know XXX So let me hit pause ‘Cause I’ve done everything wrong And it wasn’t my fault But my best chances are gone, fucking blew it Show me my flaws I’ll rearrange them No matter the cost You keep the change then Give me the choice I’ll try to make it Show me the way to come home XXX

Part of the "Whatever Happened To Candy Cane?" rock opera, this song is by Cindy/Candy Cane XXX I stuck a chord with Orcus cheering Sank the yacht I crossed his stream in All my options disappearing Fucked my problems with no feeling Thoughts grow spiteful with the seasons Got an eyeful of my demons All my rivals now are bleeding Fuck that guy I once believed in XXXX I’m a sick bitch! You can lick this! Check my hit list You might be on it! I’m a sick bitch! Twisted princess Mind your business This child has fallen XXXX I fell right in the empty ocean Jettisoned pesky emotion Mom and dad have since disowned me Drugs and violence kept me going I sank beneath disaster slowly I won’t be my father’s trophy Chased that rabbit down its hole These shameful habits now console me XXXX I’m a sick bitch! You can lick this! Be my witness Sign my warrant I’m a sick bitch! Twisted princess Keep your distance I’m abhorrent! XXXX

This is my latest song for the "Whatever Happened To Candy Cane?" album, it is a duet between Max and Cindy (a brother and sister) who are trying to find each other in the post-acopalyptic wastelands of Fallout New Vegas. Any volunteers to sing the part of Cindy please get in touch! I am currently working on her side of the story so I'll have that up soon! Lyrics: (Max) Tonight Under this moonlight I’m just a fool right? I hear the mirth and the laughter (Cindy) Tonight I miss those good times I’m Miss Can’t-Do-Right I’m here a pretty disaster XXX (Max) Barefoot I crossed a dessert to find her The pain in my sole An ever-present reminder (Cindy) Hate looked and saw a perfect disciple The space in my soul Makes being unpleasant delightful XXX CHORUS (Max) Sister, I miss you sister I hear you whisper Like you were here Oh (Cindy) Brother, I miss you brother There is no other Would search for me Ooh XXX (Max) Victims Since we were children This murky system Just suffocates your desires (Cindy) Kid in A world forbidden This rusty cistern Just flushed my veins, got me higher XXX (Max) Hard beds, mean men in filthy bordellos I’ll still bring you home No matter what the expense is (Cindy) My head’s bereft of all my mementos The girl from the cove Now carries sad consequences XXX

I wander far from safety Walk corridors that scare me My thoughts harangue me daily My problems stack high My conscience drives me crazy I’m tortured by my failings I’m running out of patience I’m not a bad guy XXX Drive the demons from me Time’s not healing my grief Starve the fever in me Can you hear me? Knife the creature in me Life’s great heel’s upon me Bribe the dealer for me Light the beacons now XXX My choices liberate me And almost vindicate me But voices still berate me Snap that padlock Walk water when the sail’s bent Cut corners on the pavement Take drugs for entertainment Strike the matchbox XXX Drive the demons from me Time’s not healing my grief Starve the fever in me Can you heal me? Knife the creature in me Life’s great heel’s upon me Bribe the dealer for me Light the beacons now

She left our home and crossed hot land For reasons most don’t understand Her son won’t know his mum or dad That kind of hole tears you in half We can’t be whole with broken parts The sun sets cold on unloved hearts My father told me I’m no man Look dad, I’m roaming the mojave My stomach churns My flesh turns to dust In the burning sun But I press along Somewhere past the hurt My sister lurks And while this body works I’ll never give up Hail Caesar! Hail Caesar! They can’t warp her mind so they criticise her Hail Caesar! Hail Caesar! She’s one of a kind so they ostracise her Hail! XXX We live a culture built on sand At 4 a sword placed in your hand And no one knows just who you are We hold The Fort in fucking sandals Our fighting comes at cost We bind our problems to the cross If mighty Rome falls we are lost When light is bold we snuff the candles I’ve got prickly heat My spirit is beat And my blisters bleed I’m sniffing up tears But Each day gets worse My sight is blurred But I do it all for love Tell Cindy I’m coming! XXX Hail Caesar! Hail Caesar! I’m heading through towns where they all despise her Hail Caesar! Hail Caesar! I’ve known all along that I’m going to find her Hail

Though the storm keeps blowing Though the rain keeps flowing I will grow old knowing I led the fight Though the days get colder Though I've got no soldiers I will not stop holding My head upright When my cries don't find an ear I see the darker side of humanity I feel it rise inside of me My army of one will always fight for me Though my mind is racing With the bind I’m facing I will not stop tracing This masterpiece Though my grip is failing While the winds are wailing I am not complaining Still standing fierce

This is the third track from a rock opera I'm writing based in the Fallout video game universe which you can read here: Part 1 https://aminoapps.com/c/falloutamino/page/blog/whatever-happened-to-candy-cane/1JRS_6u063naBGoBD2LpwwVJvPPlovZ Part 2 https://aminoapps.com/c/falloutamino/page/blog/whatever-happened-to-candy-cane-part-2-ubi-est-ea/8BYT_mu2MzD5V1or2pW8Nmxx2n0PYD6 It's about a boy called Max looking for his lost sister - part 3 is nearly finished and that's going to conclude Act 1 which is Max's story. Act 2 is going to be about his sister Cindy's story. So in this song he has travelled through the desert and is questioning why his God is testing him. I think these are my best vocals to date, I've improved on my technique a lot. Lyrics: I said my prayers On a broken heart Is he even there? Half my hope is shattered I cry for help Just to lift this burden Ask why the hell Must I receive this punish-ment? My lightning bolt He’s my shining father I’m clothed in smoke As he lights the arrow When the door is closed He’s the silver handle The mighty oak With a frightening shadow I make my way I resist the carnage He doesn’t care He’s on a different channel My feet are bare Lord I’ve truly suffered The meat is scarce Oh won’t you be my nourish-ment? My lightning bolt He’s my shining father I’m a broken soul Tide has washed the fragments When I’m having doubts Won’t you lift me skyward? When the light goes out Guide me towards the harbour

Version 1.1, featuring key change, slight lyric change, improved vocal and general bug fixes Part of the musical/rock opera I'm working on called "Whatever Happened To Candy Cane" - a Fallout fan fiction about a boy looking for his sister, you can read the story here: Part 1 https://aminoapps.com/c/falloutamino/page/blog/whatever-happened-to-candy-cane/1JRS_6u063naBGoBD2LpwwVJvPPlovZ Part 2 https://aminoapps.com/c/falloutamino/page/blog/whatever-happened-to-candy-cane-part-2-ubi-est-ea/8BYT_mu2MzD5V1or2pW8Nmxx2n0PYD6 Free to download - please let me know if you like it! Lyrics As the day sips on night And the pain grips on tight All my patience subsides Fast she fades from my sight I cast despair from my mind Recite my prayers one more time Ask for bravery tonight Let me save her my sire XXXXX They got me by the ankles, oh Got me chained like a dog Took my sword from my scabbard, bastards! Now my back’s to the wall Cindy, oh Cindy darling Where could you be? I’m here with my limbs in shackles But who’s looking for me? XXXXX Far away, trapped in time Lies a place left behind Anger shaped anxious lives Love was vacant or silent Born to bolster the name And raised to know every prayer Swaddled in endless shame How they drove her away XXX I see you in the shadows, oh I see you in the light I see you though my eyes are blackened Tell me we’ll be alright Cindy, oh Cindy darling Where could you be? I followed my intuition No one’s looking for me

This song is based on a Fallout video game themed story I wrote called "Whatever Happened To Candy Cane" which can be read here: Part 1 -https://aminoapps.com/c/falloutamino/page/blog/whatever-happened-to-candy-cane/1JRS_6u063naBGoBD2LpwwVJvPPlovZ Part 2 -https://aminoapps.com/c/falloutamino/page/blog/whatever-happened-to-candy-cane-part-2-ubi-est-ea/8BYT_mu2MzD5V1or2pW8Nmxx2n0PYD6 Lyrics: She is splitting from a small close-minded home and He’s Admitting what his gospel can’t condone When no one’s listening all your problems start to grow And life’s a prison, you’re an inmate on death row Now Father’s livid With his fiendish temperament And Mum’s insisting They receive strict punishment But they’re your children They just need encouragement So where’s your pity? Why’d you keep your love from them? Now where is Candy Cane? Oh where is Candy Cane? She left behind her name And brought her family shame So “Ubi est ea?” Her brother says She caught her true reflection When she smashed the pane What a shame She’s been missing for so long he mourns her face And he’s got issues of his own but no one cares His heart’s dysrhythmic from the hole she bore away He starts to whisper “Cindy, just show me the way” Now Max has scribbled down a note that says “Goodbye” He’s half convinced he’ll bring her home by late July It’s not that simple Mother’s still dissatisfied And Dad’s indignant He still wants her crucified Now where is Candy Cane? Oh where is Candy Cane? She left behind her name And brought her family shame So “Ubi est ea?” Her brother says She found a cruel redemption In a fucked-up place What a waste

The forest is ablaze again And I'm fanning the flames again I mimed the morning prayer today Three decades of the rosary The weather forecasts rain again The moon is in its wane again There's madness on my brain again No OTC shall mask this pain And my, what a lovely time I'm having How am I to pull a rabbit Out this hat? Chop a shelter with a blunt axe? Grapple in the dark Light a fire with a spent match? Being alive makes me sick Tie my foot to a brick / Life is sucking a dick I'm extremely convinced All my dreams turn to shit Prior deeds hold me still Milk I needlessly spilt This ain't the life I ordered Grit my teeth, hold my breath I can't cheat on this test I'm a 'B' student at best And in need of a rest I’m severely depressed And can't deal with this stress This ain't the life I ordered There's thunder on the way again And lightening near the hay again There's tension in the air today We're verging on a hurricane That vulture's stalking prey again I'm running round the maze again Obstruction's blocking play again Stuff’s rushing through my veins again I'd cry but I'd hate to waste the fluid All my crimes leave me in ruin Fuck the past Give me sea air hard to starboard People hold you back Leave those feelings in the harbour Being alive makes me sick Life is sucking a dick I'm extremely convinced All my dreams turn to shit Prior deeds hold me still Milk I needlessly spilt This ain't the life I ordered Grit my teeth, hold my breath I can't cheat on this test I'm a 'B' student at best And in need of a rest I’m extremely depressed Up to here with this stress This ain't the life I ordered

I cast a lonely shadow but that's alright My shoulder cramping through the darkest night I've been slowly gathering my armaments To be a force withstanding all the harm I sense Seems the only way to beat it Is to see it through And the only way to heal it Is to feed the bruise And the only way to freedom Is jumping through the hoop I don't jump so good Don't jump so good No more living in la-la town Where the only person happy is yet to be found No more passing/pissing my heart around What about me? Sanctuary I spent a long time screaming with both fists clenched I'll spend a long time dealing with the consequence I spent a long time hearing words that made no sense I learnt a lot whilst steering through the bitterness The only words worth eating Have no crumb of truth Only voice worth believing Is the one in you And the only fucking easy path Does not bear fruit I don't bear fools Do not bear fools I keep peering behind me I fear I’m unwinding The state of my mind is frightening My thoughts undermine me My mistakes mount up But they don’t define me

Death didn’t come with bombs I’m turned to goo inside Tread in a muddy pond And I’m starting to lose my sight Flesh starts to crack and peel Veins an unhealthy grey Friends turn their backs on me Help! I’m watching myself decay Tell me what’s happening to me! I’m sick like a dog in the street Eyes glow And blood pressure’s low My whole head’s itching Eyeballs twitching Someone fix me I noticed today My nose is rotting away Looking foolish Bones are bending Someone mend me I’m growling my vowels And I’m sour in the bowels Getting ghoulish My skull is visible And both my cheeks have holes Life’s fucking miserable And I’m sporting a greenish glow I’ve just been cast aside Eyesore in savage lands Features like cattle hide And I smell like a garbage can Bit into tough Brahmin beef I chewed it and I spat out some teeth Got pale mouth And my hair’s falling out Hell I ain’t pretty Eyeballs twitching I need fixing The doctor I paid Turned and ran right away Couldn’t cure this My bones are bending I need mending I’m strong as a horse But I look like a corpse Getting ghoulish

Give me poison in my veins Spray some toxins in my lungs I need some ointment for the pain Some soporific for my blood   Got the caps let's make the purchase No I can't escape its clutches I go round on makeshift crutches Worship daily in its churches   I need that buzz I need that release I'll chase that rush Until I'm deceased   Make me feel nice I’ll have no regrets I'll pay the price Still be in your debt   Sins and needles I need that hit to just feel normal Help me contemplate tomorrow Chase away the day's real sorrow Give a strong template to follow   This endless war shall have no victor In hell the contraband flows quicker I cleanse my thoughts with chems and liquor  My medicine just gets me sicker I need that buzz I need that release I'll chase that rush Until I'm deceased   Just lift me up ’Til both pillars collide Don't lift this curse Until I get high   Sins and needles   Waken me up Then put me to sleep Prescribe me a drug To cure my disease   Sins and needles

A Fallout inspired track set during The Great War Lyrics: The papers say The bombs are on their way The diplomats have failed If you've a rad-x then take it I close my eyes Before we're vaporised And all that's sacred dies And quickly haver my last goodbyes It's over I'm frozen How long before that final explosion? An army poster said "It's all ok" And that "The bad man's joking “Only trying to scare us" But Grandma told me "Time to say your prayers" "Pandora's box has opened" "Only God’s grace can save us now” So many ways I threw my time away And on my final day I'll watch what's mine disintegrate Bright tears light eyes I hear my mother cry I’ll see these people die My fears are keeping me silent I’m afraid and Unprepared and On this day we’ll all be ghosts in a wasteland The commander spoke and said "We’ll save the day“ "We’re going to guard our shores" "And in the battle we’ll prevail” But Grandma told me "Time to say your prayers" "Pandora's box has opened" "Only God’s grace can save us now” When the missiles launch And all the cities fall Those in their pretty vaults Will have to bury our corpses One minute war Is going to kill us all And then our little rock Will get so sick in the fallout I’m frightened I can’t hide it My life is going to end in the lightening We gather knowing this will be our grave And in this anxious moment We hold onto one last embrace For Grandma told me "Time to say your prayers" "Pandora's box has opened" "Only God’s grace can save us now”

I'm a loner, far from home My serotonin's running low I'm doped up to keep my hopes up So far I can't be consoled Been a' roaming past this nowhere Show me more than what there is Now my soul has been exposed I've started foaming at the lips Woah! Listen carefully please Stay away from me You don't want this disease You'd better still get tested I'm not quite myself And I may bite when stressed I'll list the side effects Have penicillin ready Where do you go When you're broken-hearted? Out on the boat Can't get the motor-started I've been alone Throughout this whole debacle Been diagnosed It seems this wolf is rabid Oh! I am prone to being no one Self-control is fucking shit I'm a crewman missing movement Go on, throw me in the brig Been a' floating in this ocean In which everyone has pissed Growing cold as I get older Letting go the more I drift Woah! Life's a mystery That I don’t wish to keep Seems I’ve lost the receipt But can I get store credit? Life’s a piece of shit And I can’t deal with it Me, I’m a realist Now give me something better Where do you go When you're broken-hearted? Out on the road Without a coat of armour Get on all fours When life’s excruciating Turn off the hose It seems this wolf fears H2O

I cast a net and fret that I will not be eating I’m not blessed with sense Everyone finds so easy Well I try to press ahead The water's freezing Been a better person Since I stopped believing Thank god I wish this fear was less frightening My best years weren’t behind me Wish my tears were inspiring Wish these feelings were silenced I wish this man was an island I’m trapped in an asylum This disease has gone viral Fire a mayday flare, cause I just don't know what tomorrow will hold But who knows some days I just can't seem to care I'm going to row 'til I've worn down the oars I don't want a place in the madness parade I don't expect to get the answers That I plead for In the end I'm sandwiched Between bad and evil Can't express the dissidence Inside myself I made a mess of everything To find the centre I did I hear a screaming inside me Like the screech of a siren My the demons are biting Can't mask feelings with violence My inner beast’s something phallic Don’t tell me not to panic Won a seat on Titanic Iceberg dead ahead!

When they fill in my grave And the people walk away I don't want them to pray Just do not forget my name! When my coffin's been laid And the writing's been engraved I don't want to rot away I've got people still to save (save me) I want you passers-by To acknowledge I'm alive To be someone desired Be fantastic in your eyes I want to be the guy For whom, no obstacle's too high Has no teardrops in his eyes Takes bad fortune in his stride I want to fly But my heels just drag on the pavement I want to inspire Be admired and celebrated I'm Mr Hyde Because of these concoctions I’m taking I want to be the doctor Not the abomination I cry But wait til nobody's near though I want to be a hero But I'm just plain superzero Ka-Blam! I'll never Be the man of the people I want to be a hero But I'm just plain superzero God damn! I try to live day to day Keep the cracker on the plate Try to fill up my brain With distractions from the pain Every slit in my mind Lets the darkness seep inside Tangled weeds creep up the vine Vultures eat me from inside out I want to live a life I don't have to cloak in lies What I've got will suffice Don't need pills to crack a smile I want to have a place That's not covered by the shade At my crux be unafraid Be the captain of my fate but Time robs me blind And I just crumple the pages I'm standing in line Though I have run out of patience I lost my pride My self esteem is still vacant Chances come my way But I don't know how to take them I cry Don't feel like showing the tears though I want to be a hero But I'm just plain superzero Ka-Blam! I try But they know I'm just a weirdo I want to be a hero But I'm just plain superzero Fuck that!

For every ugly little act For every word that won't take back For every something there's a reason And a someone feeling bad For every day that falls to waste Let there be something in its place Let me know somewhere I can see There's fate that I can contemplate Oh How I’m nothing if not useless There’s a gulf inside I wander shoeless Every argument is fruitless Someone tell me why I must go through this Love me I'm your son Love me Just this once For all the love that don't take place For every clumsy, cold embrace For every blunder digs a crater The subconscious fills with hate For every foot that's out of step And every excuse that don't make sense For all the hurt that just won't mend That's catastrophic to the health Take me somewhere with no bruises Where there’s someone proud and no one stupid Some day I will do a good thing Maybe be the person that I should be

Something's soured in the night We must purge the rye and rice There's an outage for tonight Slowly snuff the pilot light Bring all the power you can find There are scoundrels taking sides A thousand cowards fled the fight In no towers shall they hide Torch them Smoke them out, shoot the stragglers Catch the spider in its web Whack the viper on the head then March them out to their parapets Line them up and point them out Strike with courage kill the doubt then Kill the boy Don't think, just snip the chord Give him a quick send off And throw his baggage on the pyre Kill the boy Go on and prick the boil Strike swift and twist the coil And watch the man rise from the fire Something's rotten in the broth We must upturn the whole damn pot Cut a bandage out some cloth Amputate above the clot Turn the water into wine Scrub the paint with turpentine Numb the pain with something white Stun your brain a couple times Tonight Hit them now while the lights are dim We'll outflank them in the dark Quickly shank ‘em in their backs then Slit their throats while the tide is in Throw the bodies to the waves Let the water wash away then

I see home As a dot in the horizon Sea waves foam And the salt makes my eyes run Torpedoes Hit the last boat, the skies burn From every side they come God damned if the tide won't turn I can't rest Lullabies cannot soothe me Overhead Summer skies hang on loosely Playing with death One more time he just might choose me I threw everything away And curiously I gazed Into the abyss I've seen what I had to see While it was gazing in me I'm being all I can be Life's got it in for me I'm just rifle infantry Into the abyss I learned from all it could teach My grasp exceeded my reach Now I sleepwalk rather than dream Life's squeezing the joy from me Prefrontal lobotomy My feet hurt I can't stand being this useless Stomach churns Darkness dilates my pupils The tears run Like a tap that's been loosened Searching for love and hope Mending the hurt with dope I ask too much I'll never know what the truth is The past sucked Let me contemplate the future Giving a fuck Is nothing more than a nuisance Stupid indeed, but brave Furiously I gazed Into the abyss It gave me just what I need My cradle fell out the tree My instincts told me to flee I went where I had to go Right down the rabbit hole Into the abyss In chains when I should be free My spirit wants off the leash I'm sick of trying to please Life makes me want to die Wave every cunt goodbye

I'm a rogue with baby face I sober as I age Some bones I just can't chase This cold, bad world I cannot face My dreams keep me awake But lead me to nowhere A bleak and bitter place My love, my spirit's going to waste Far, far away I want to fly Spread these wings and say goodbye Medicate the pain til it's benign or til There's silence in my mind Help me doctor, make me better I've got problems that need dealt with I am sorry if I'm selfish But I am seeking the cure for wellness Help me father give me penance I am in an awful mess and Ever since I can remember I've been seeking the cure for wellness I have paid your every price The little wolf inside me bites So slay me for my crimes But don't confine me to this life I can't contain what is inside Please drain away this tide Prescribe me something nice That takes away the stars at night Past a heart of shame I want to glide Hide the pain from prying eyes Lie down in vapours til I'm high Above the chains that hold my mind Help me seer, I am anguished I have demons that need vanquished Give me answers, tonic, spell For I am seeking the cure for wellness Help me master, make me perfect I have been a faithful servant Tell me what it takes to get there I am seeking the cure for wellness

Tonight I'm displeased My hurricane starts with a breeze now This life force beneath me Is nothing more than broken pieces I hold back, frustrated Try to reel in all that hatred Sick of all those smug faces Going to go where madness takes me Why I tried I'll never quite decide I hate you No knight in armour ever by my side I hate you This life disaster still torments my mind I hate you I'd like the rapture to commence tonight I hate you I'm sore and I'm livid I think of all that was but isn't Caught in a spring blizzard Wish I could pay one more visit My head's out the haze now I've been clean for 7 days now Now life has no pleasure Slit my wrists please, with a razor I'm freaking On the rooftops Shouting and screaming For the very last time That I'm leaving My knuckles white And I'm seething I am not fine Not really

What's wrong with me? Oh I was born in silence Help me see Remove this thorn with pliers The storm's in me And I am worn and weary I'm all at sea All hope is disappearing My life's a gripping book No one will read A silver hook Where hand should be A filthy noose Slung from a tree This isn't who I was supposed to be I try to kill the truth Before it speaks Patch up the roof Before it leaks Walk miles in shoes On different feet A little tune that I composed with dreams On Help me move on Help me be strong I promise I didn't mean to start this siege inside myself Gone Where have I gone? Everything's wrong I wander in a field where I can't see where's safe to step I took some hits And now my life's gone septic Been through some shit But I can't find the exit I'm on my own I think my soul has left me I'm torn with holes And I am so damn empty Well I've grown disaster Like a boil I've thrown a match Towards some oil This phoney mask Just won't come off Danger's sweet and I've acquired the taste I'm trying to Connect the dots To separate the True from false Ineptitude or minor flaws? I cannot dream while I'm still wide awake On I can't go on I'm not that strong I promise I didn't mean to start this siege inside myself Gone Where have I gone? I don't belong I'm sorry I can't seem to start believing in myself

Would you believe I strike the heart of the beast I light up fires with such ease I'd like so bad to succeed But I have doubts Caught in the breeze My frown it gives me a crease I'm down but not yet deceased I've got a sting like a bee So pull it out It's been an unforgiving journey It seems I can fly oh my But I insist on running Don't die! I hear the avalanche a' coming I'm shrieking inside Well call an ambulance or something! Been piling brick upon brick Til I'm sure it will crumble Wading through the shit Trying to find a way to under Stand Are we there yet? Can't go back Are we there yet? Hold my hand Are we there yet? No! Well just keep on running man Count out my tears I've got a lion by the ears My fucking life's in arrears I'm a disciple of fear So let us pray Come take a peek My circumstances are bleak I'm switching sadness for grief I'm sick with bad BPD So get away! Think there's a goblin in my corner I'm days from shore And taking on a lot of water Oh crap! I wake with problems every morning If prayers could float Still wouldn't say a bit of gospel

Through The Looking Glass by Daniel Reilly

When I renew Begin again I walk down a new road With the same old way stops I try to choose I try to change All I seem to be doing Is rearranging chaos Scrub my neck Cancel all my cheques Sand down new decks Tie up all the little loose ends Rhyme off regrets Like the alphabet Make new promises Grow new skin over the old flesh Wherever I go I take the same old steps When the tide gets low It drags in all the same mess The demons know When I'm in distress Let their faces show When I hate myself Like this: Every bad move I recreate I crawl back in through the grate That I refuse to cover Inside this tomb I suffocate I wallow in self hatred While I slowly smother Not going well Still I'm undeterred Have the room swept Have the pressure and the fuel checked Pull up my belt Tie a tourniquet Have some new cards dealt Toast the launching of a new wreck

Break The Curse by Daniel Reilly

I'm thinking of the past too much King of the class too much Linking the paths and structures The future I cast a glance too much It passes by too much I cannot pass this juncture I long for where the wind's not blowing The air is stale and the rain's not flowing I long to see the grass not growing I want to seize the day but I can't hold on I'm dissatisfied I just can't fake a smile when it’s bad inside I can't be pacified while the sands of time simply pass me by I'm halted by my heart too much I get entrapped too much I'm far too fond of darkness This world needs a firmer hand too much I'm in the stands too much I'm far too far from calmness I open doors that won't stop closing Hold onto dreams I can't see unfolding I crawl out every day half broken I hate each face I find myself clothed in

Here I am The task was far from easy Yet here I stand So take me as I am I've travelled far A trampled path beneath me I'd give a damn But I am on my last Night and day Til the cut up ends are frayed Light my rage With a burning trebuchet Strike the cage When the storm comes Hide in the shade I don't care! Don't wanna Don't wanna break! The monster's wakened And it is breaking all its chains Must go tell Satan That I have taken many names Crying now when the cow is milked Won't squeeze it back inside I'm not proud of a lot of things To which my feelings are inclined Fuck life Here I am No manmade cell can keep me No key can bind This fucked up state of mind Through tears and angst I tried to find some meaning But here's the catch There just is none to find Life goes on And my inner voice grows stale Time don't stop While I sit and sob and wail Prime the walls And I'll crawl out Gasping for air I don't care! Don't wanna Don't wanna break! The monster's wakened And it is breaking all its chains Must go tell Satan That I have taken many names Crying now when the cow is milked Won't squeeze it back inside I'm not proud of a lot of things And my demons come in lines Paid the fine ha-ha!

When the night has come And my strength has failed Help me fire my gun So I can fight again At the final charge When I cry in despair Won't you take my hand And guide me through the fray Don't let me go (let me go) If I want to stay Don't lie to me (lie to me) If I ain't going to make it Don't leave me naked in the dark (in the dark) Be at my side tonight Don't let me mourn (let me mourn) My past mistakes In my last moments (my last moments) Let me be brave And when my flame has got no spark (got no spark) Then be my friend And let it end When they come for me Won't you be my shield If I cannot flee Oh will you carry me Where my body falls Let them bury me When the tears are gone Will you remember me? Don't let me go (let me go) If I want to stay Don't lie to me (lie to me) If I ain't going to make it Don't leave me aching in the dark (in the dark) Just one syrette, I beg Don't tell me no (tell me no) If I want to pray In my last moments (my last moments) Let me be brave And when I've played my final part (final part) Then be my friend And let it end

Download the full album free here http://fightinthewolf.wixsite.com/fightinthewolf Lyrics: I've been caught in a spin Lost in time and space In a choppy sea I drift Trying to find my bearings Hit the wrong kind of wind To align my sails and Being cautious leaves me nauseous Deep within I'm flailing Got to stop what I'm doing Before it leads me to ruin There's no real future In the path I'm pursuing There's no point brooding When there's no one looking I set fire to the hoops Before I crash in to 'em Send the boats back Because there's someone alive out here Send the boats back Yes, I was under, but still I breathe Send the boats back Guess there is one more fight in me I was going down, going down But I won't let go I've faced storms worse than this Getting wet hasn't killed me Was born amidst circling fins Resurrection is my instinct I've given up and given in Yet something special persisted Can't extinguish what's within you Give em hell, go with it Got to give it all I've got While my lungs are still breathing My spirit took a knock But clung on, wouldn't leave me Invincible or not I've got to keep on believing There's life still in me yet Better get on out there and lead it Send the boats back Because there's someone alive out here Send the boats back Because I was someone I couldn't be Send the boats back Send warmth before I fucking freeze I was going down, going down But I won't let go

Download the full album free here http://fightinthewolf.wixsite.com/fightinthewolf Lyrics: I can see no win I can see no friend Where do I begin And where do I end? What have I achieved What do I believe? Am I under siege When will I be free? Silence from bullets The blood won't wipe away Scars, scrapes and bruises The blood won't wipe away Pulled up from the roots The blood won't wipe away Under the duvet The blood won't wipe away It stains my soul It takes its toll It shakes my core It makes me cold It drains my ammo Maims and harms It pains my heart It breaks my camouflage Where do I fit in How can I find peace? Will the pain desist Will the memories cease? How can I atone Would I retrace the steps? Could I break the mold Can I retake the test? Silence from bullets The blood won't wipe away Scars, scrapes and bruises The blood won't wipe away Pulled up from the roots The blood won't wipe away Under the duvet The blood won't wipe away It hurts to think I pause I sink Can't trust instinct I'm spread too thin In days of war I gave my all Now in the dawn Into my grave I fall

For Snape Download the full album free here http://fightinthewolf.wixsite.com/fightinthewolf Lyrics: Fate had us meet And I thank him for it I felt my heart beat In ballad and sonnet The world conveniently Made somebody just for me For me She showed no fear And harpooned my heart I was out at sea I saw harbor at last Like every good dream I didn't want to know It wasn't real Not real They ask me "After all this time?" And I don't Hesitate or lie I've ached Since first she caught my eye Oh why, oh why, oh why, oh why Even spurned I couldn't let it be I felt love Knock me on my knees I wait for her Underneath our tree Always I will keep your memory Always You'll be safe in my dreams Always My dear we're one forever You'll always be my flower And I your weed The days felt heavy And turned to years I held her memory In my tears I drowned in envy While she found her inner peace When she was taken My life turned hollow I won't awaken From this sorrow I'd give anything Just to give her one more tomorrow Bereaved of What would not be mine In grief I embalmed her in my mind Stay here Til the end of time Please bind me, deep inside me, find me Could some trick Obliterate my mind Let me think She loved me deep inside Love is something That shouldn't be one sided, no no Always I will keep your memory Always You'll be safe in my dreams Always Our deer will run together You'll always be my flower And I your weed

Download the full album free here http://fightinthewolf.wixsite.com/fightinthewolf Lyrics: I feel so lost On the cross I bleed Every one of my dreams Stopped across the street And I screamed and called To get off this leash Much I struggled With my burden But could not get free Uh-oh Nightmares in the darkness Nightmares when I wake Every time I close my eyes My whole world starts to shake Oh There's something in my heart here That questions every beat Scrutinize me Exorcise me From what's haunting me I fear I'll never be whole That I'll just never quite be right I'm just stuck here in the doorway Slowly fading out of sight Are my days no roller coaster Did I just waste my time Losing marbles by the jarful I need a paper bag to breathe I fear I lost On the battlefield Every one of my bullets Had poor accuracy Now my inner demon Just won't part with me I'm insane But well aware I'm a catastrophe oh yes I'm frightened of the summit I'm frightened peering in I don't know where to put the bucket To catch all these leaking drips Oh There's something in my wiring That blows a fuse each day Can't slow down Or I'll be mown down By this passing freight I fear I'll never be whole That I'll just never quite be right That I'm a sinking vessel floating Getting broken by the tide Because my days are cold and boring And I've yet to taste the wine Losing marbles by the jarful I'm a section 8, goodbye

Download the full album free here http://fightinthewolf.wixsite.com/fightinthewolf Lyrics: I rode a long way for happiness Disaster at my heel I chose to move on through the crappiness Make madness work for me Each time I lose control I've nowhere to go And no way to show how it feels Each time the dice are rolled My composure holds Like an airbag torn at the seams You'll be fine kid Just fine kid You'll make it on your own Take your time kid You'll find it You'll find your own way home I can't understand all the intricacies My life's a tangled web Can't reconcile all my differences Hope I've learned from all this mess When one door closes Another closes There aint no roses In this bouquet My how I've suffered Has it been worth it? Still taking umbrage Still room for cake

Download the full album free here http://fightinthewolf.wixsite.com/fightinthewolf Lyrics: I close my eyes And the memories are muddled I'm so damn tired All my senses are dulled My hope has died My extremities are numb I fear my time will soon be up God forgive the horror I have witnessed The evil I have known Oh what I'd give to hear the clock that ticks So sweetly back at home The unburied fallen rot and stink Becoming heroes caved in stone Will the wicked ever be forgiven Will we reap what we have sown? I hope my words can make it out of hell Wish me well I've lost my mind I'm sick with trench-foot and despair If there's a god he's blind We've filled a cesspool in which to bathe We've crossed the line The kiss of death is in the air Their silhouettes are everywhere My soul is forfeit, black as hell from the Deeds that I have done All I know is torment, my heart is dead Yet it beats on to the guns Broke my body for a god damn medal Where they've pinned it on it hurts I've grown a conscience and it's got too heavy Deep in sin I further plunge Remember who I was and not what I've become All my love They shipped me here to fucking die! To struggle for this plight Made a killer of me, I'm disgusted by The ugliness of life The futility it numbs the mind The suffering is rife But despite the tears I somehow cry I will burn for every crime It's better that I don't come back Don't be sad Fold the flag Send love to my mum and dad

Download the full album free here http://fightinthewolf.wixsite.com/fightinthewolf Lyrics: Deep down in my soul A little crack's become a hole A bitter man has sunk quite low Ripped a patch that's poorly sewn Deep down far inside There's a fear I tend to hide There are tears I never cried Can't believe I never tried When you left The door swung open In words unspoken I was bereft Now you're gone I have no focus Got heavy shoulders I can't move on It's hopeless I just want you to know You were right I loved you so My heart is yours to own Forever I just wanted to say The chance I didn't take Will always haunt my days Forever Seeing you walk away Eats into me night and day Keeps me fooling my own brain An IOU that won't be paid Seeing you with someone else Makes me feel a fucking mess Has me seeking out revenge Trying to even out the debt When I think My thoughts they shame me Subconscience blames me I'm on the brink Now and then Wish I could glimpse you Tell you I miss you Spend My whole life with you I just want you to know You were right I loved you so A dream I couldn't hold Forever I just wanted to say That path I didn't take Will always haunt my days Forever

Download the full album free here http://fightinthewolf.wixsite.com/fightinthewolf Lyrics: A bullet skimmed my head I suppose I pulled the trigger Well the temptation was too high They say the skin must shed Before it gets thicker Got to keep waiting, roll the die Recount my problems I never asked that I be special I'm so crestfallen Give me anodynes to take the edge off My mood swings swoop like fighter jets I lose myself in dreams That flicker into nightmares I medicate but still fall ill Hard truths with chems I ease They sicken and excite me I hesitate but can't resist Recount my problems I guess I hoped that things be perfect I'm so crestfallen Where's the antidote? I'm infected Have the jury reached a verdict? It jumps from a spark so small Soon my soul's firewood for the inferno I'm alive in the flames but so cold in the dark It rushes, carpet to wall In the glow I'm infused but it's hell though I can't silence its name, can't let go in my heart I'm ripped by the jagged edge Every cut is a gush that I worsen Every stitch I unpick is a thorn in my side I continually stab that nerve Every rupture inside I'm the culprit It's a glitch, like an itch I unhinge my own mind

Download the full album free here http://fightinthewolf.wixsite.com/fightinthewolf Lyrics: From you I cannot hide I've shown you every side You're there from spring til fall Through sickness mind and body You've been there when it hurt You've seen me at my worst Cared in my hour of need Been there when I've bared my teeth I don't know what I'd do without you When I self destruct you help improve my outlook You're always there when I need a shoulder And you know I care Even when I do not show it You can pull the reins and tame me When I'm fairly sane Or when I'm acting crazy You can stop the beast getting free You forgive all that I've done You fill the night with sun When mist rolls in at dawn Your light I count upon You read me fairytales You've wept when I've been strange I've caused your heart to ache You've watched me fan the flames You drag me back when the world consumes me When my darkest thoughts scare me and confuse me You give so much that I could not repay When the darkness falls I know you'll keep me safe You can pull the reins and tame me When I chase my tail Or when I growl at strangers You can love the beast that is me

Download the full album free here http://fightinthewolf.wixsite.com/fightinthewolf Lyrics: I think of words to say And though they always sound cliche They put a smile on you And when I hold your hand in mine I remember all the times I've been beguiled by you My days would stop, my world would end If I could never spend another night with you I love you more than I could ever say or shout or scream You are my daydream I numb my mind with drugs Because being alive just sucks And I can see that But when I think of you I could live on a day or two So I go to rehab Woo! When I look into your eyes I know that I could not deny how much you mean to me I love you more than I could ever say or shout or scream The night is young we’ve danced our song And nothing could go wrong the sky it seems so blue You say my name and nothing’s changed I’m feeling so in love With you, my daydream

A revamp of my first album. Download the full album for free here: http://fightinthewolf.wixsite.com/fightinthewolf Lyrics: I start to bite my nails and feel sick When I think back to '96 Demons I'll never stop burying Coming up faster than I can fill them in Wrap the bandage tight so I can't feel Tight so I can't feel I look down, rub my face and hold my ear Self comfort gestures 'cause no one comforts me A troubled time calls from the past A poisoned ring deep in the bark All blacked out but still a part of me Still a part of me I slept like a baby back then: Woke up crying every hour A great time of fun when kids will be kids Here's to the class of '96 To the class of '96 I start to speak about it but I stop I can't make eye contact, can't maintain my voice I sit in darkness lost in thought Remembering what they have forgot Wrap the armour tight so I can't feel Tight so I can't feel I start to bite my nails and feel so mad When I think back to the year of rat Demons I'll never stop burying Coming up faster than I can fill them in Wrap the belt real tight so I can't feel Tight so I can't feel

A revamp of my first album. Download the full album for free here: http://fightinthewolf.wixsite.com/fightinthewolf Lyrics: Alone since last whatever No phone, texts, cards or letters It plays like chess for lovers Kings, queens mess with each other How did we lose our grip When did the "love you"s slip Where did the thunder hit Why did it turn to shit Sometimes I break down and cry Sometimes I try to deny Sometimes I'm sad but I smile Sometimes I want to unite We haven't talked I know we've both cried It's not what we want But what has transpired And all of those days When things just went right Seem so far away Like some other life Somehow the fog of war decended Though the pain's remembered Whose damn fault's this sadness How do we sort this madness out? I don't care for this bullshit Laid bare I want the truth It's too damn hard to guess It proves too hard a lesson Walking too fast through the maze Turning our backs to the pain Dragging our anchors away Desperately trying to be brave Sometimes I just want to stop Sometimes I just hit a rock I just don't know what to do I'm tired of waiting for you We've had our fights And we've thrown our mud And though it's not right We have drawn blood And all of those nights When I've dreamed of you Stay fresh in my mind Like unyielding glue

A revamp of my first album. Download the full album for free here: http://fightinthewolf.wixsite.com/fightinthewolf Lyrics: Well I can't tell if my lungs are breathing I know I'm not the one who's leaving Hearts in love can be so naive, man Where's my doctor, think I'm OD'ing I can't tell all the things I'm feeling My outer shell is all cracked and peeling My happy place is booked up this evening Sanity isn't persevering I want to tell you I want you to know There's no way in hell I'd ever Want you to go Don't pack up your cases Don't head for the door There are so many places But there's only one home Please Stay Please say you'll be patient Please stay Please stave off temptation Please stay Well I fear I'm not all that you dreamed of You might have other needs to speak of I don't want to deny you freedom I cannot be the ledge you leap from I can update and grow if needed I can land on my own two feet and I can plow on through cold and freezing 5 months clean, taking anti d's now I want to help you I want you to grow There's a whole lot more left you never Got round to showing Open the drapes And we'll confess all we know There's so much time still to waste And there's no lock on my door