Four Bad Pitches Podcast

Hello girls and boys. Are you sitting comfortably? Then we'll begin. Also, James very kindly came back bringing that older brother, big dick energy! In which we discuss gunk, bogies and the tubby hellscape

Hold our hands up, we missed last week. In that spirit of timekeeping - HAPPY HALLOWEEN! It's a monstrously good episode. Scarily funny. Frighteningly arousing. A real audio treat. Ghosts and shit. In which we discuss 21st Century icon Osama bin Laden; the benefits of living in a foggy hellscape; and Rasputin (not that one)

In 1952 experimental composer John Cage composed 4'33". It is a score for any combination of instruments, with the players being instructed not to play and instead the audience spends the duration of the piece listening to the sounds of the environment around them. All this is to say that there is 10 seconds of silence at the start of this episode; deal with it. In which we discuss vampires, pirates and a 10-year-old boy.

MAXIMUM ROM! MAXIMUM COM! In which we discuss lengthy sex scenes; my consort! and tennis boners.

The hottest new talent in Hollywood, Brandon Matthews (stage name) popped in and cast us all in his new blockbuster. I'm sure you'll agree, we crushed the audition. In which we discuss the solitary cow punch, lift ignition (remix) and An Obama Barman

Guess who's back, back again? Sam is back! Tell a friend. Guess who's back? Guess who's back? Guess who's back? Guess who's back? Guess who's back? Guess who's back? Never thought about it before but he tells you who is back and then keeps asking you to guess. Seems a bit sadistic. In which we discuss primary and peripheral grievers; the best time to network; and meet M Boo-boo

Far be it from us to suggest that Matt uses gimmicks in his pitches, but my God if this isn't the best gimmick he has ever used in a pitch. He will go bankrupt if it gets him those sweet, sweet votes. In which we discuss; infidelity, magic chicken and decide just how much our integrity is worth in the face of bribery.

In a move that will surprise nobody, there is a metric fuck tonne of singing in this episode. Good job we all have angelic voices. Unfortunately those angels smoke 40 a day and drink battery acid. Also they are dead. Molly came back though so that was nice. In which we discuss barista cats, bun kissing and what a swell guy Meatloaf is.

[Harry, don't forget to complete this before we go on holiday] It gets crazy in this one. I can't believe (insert) said (insert). What are they like? How about when we learnt that (insert) went to prison for (insert)with a (insert)and (insert). Gnarly. If you like (insert) this is the episode for you! In which we get serious, get a little less serious and, of course we (insert)

Hello, Dragons. We are Four Bad Pitches and we are looking for an investment of £100 000 four a 10% stake in our company Very Good Inventions Ltd. We currently have two products in our range: The MB69 (complete with a four pack of antennae) and our patented colonoscopy app. Thank you. We were joined by very special guest, and moulder of minds, Andrew! In which we discuss a food designed to guzzle, letting the bull down and glasses that definitely aren't a scam.

Please continue listening to this podcast. The experiment requires that you continue. It is absolutely essential that you continue. You have no other choice, you must go on. In which we discuss nasty boys, wicker suitability, and say hello to an old friend.

Wake up, sheeple! The man has been lying to you your whole life and you've just been taking it like a big dumb baby. Is that what you are, a stinky idiot in a smelly nappy? I didn't think so. So open your ears to this and it just might open your eyes. Lucrative. In which we discuss the link between the deaths of JFK and Alfred Hitchcock, hear the first (and possibly last) episode of a brand new podcast and find out why the answer is Joel Dommett.

We had a new friend round to play so we did what we always do and talked about which Disney character we would most like to be a freak in the sheets with. Weirdly, she had already given it some serious thought. Thanks Katy! In which we dicuss serious smouldering, full-body sex armour and doing 'research'

Christ we had a lot to live up to with this title. Luckily we came at it from wildly, wildly, different directions so there should be something for everyone. We are joined by special guest Rhys who went H.A.M. In which we discuss New Jerseyans, Punk'd and Aristocrats

Numbers, huh? What are they like? Some people would tell you they are one of the fundamental building blocks of everything we know and understand, but what do they know? Anywho, this is my way of saying that there are only 3 Four Bad Pitchers this week. Deal with it, Punks. In which we discuss, fat war criminals, STATS! and sweet things wrapped in bile.

It's wall to wall dicks in here! I'm talking pitchers, I'm talking content, I'm talking tone. In which we discuss dicks, dicks and dicks. (There is a brief detour into ball territory) Also, Matt's brother James came round to play

Us pitches are a bunch of first class males but to tamp down the astonishing levels of testosterone we pulled in a random woman off the street. It turns out she was called Molly and she was an absolute delight. Frankly, things got fabulous. In which we discuss Hip-hoperas, harmless Richard van Dyke and going to the cinema with an agenda

There are some interesting deep dives in this one. Who knew we had so much to say about toast, choking a turtle (not a euphemism) and scat? In which we discuss the brownness axis, individually wrapping sausages and the fact that sometimes ships sink. With very special guest @hazelchard1993 !!

It's Brexit Day!! What a time to be alive. In that spirit we have taken some countries, boiled them down to a few basic elements and pitted them against each other to find out which is the best. Bigger decisions have been made on less information. In which we discuss the dos and dont's of being a country, moving islands and the wide array of delicious KKs. Featuring very special guest @jonglxy

The effects of the sexy voice demon have bled through into this episode as well. Will we ever escape its sexy grasp? All we can say for sure is this podcast has got at least 13% sexier. Mmmmm. In which we get real sexy and also a little uncomfortable.

We cannot state strongly enough that you should not listen to the podcasts we talk about in this episode. We've got all the audio entertainment you need right here. In which we tell some definitely true stories, invoke some sexy-voiced demons and make a welcome return to Scat Chat.

Everyone is essentially wasting money all the time. I'm wasting it right now by not being out on my corner showing off these sweet buns. It's not a sex thing, it's just to get their attention, then I sell them religious paraphernalia. Anyhow, I digress, let's find out what the biggest waste of money is. In which we invent a new breakfast cereal, discover we might need to stage an intervention and get surprisingly deep. Twice.

This episode we discover an unexpected origin of one of TV's most annoying jingles and the unexpected names of two of TV's most annoying advert characters. In which we discuss; Email slam poetry; hacking an Early Learning Centre telescope and; 18 pens, a toothbrush and a pregnancy test.

With over 8000 Marvel characters to choose from, it's hard to know where to start when picking your favourite. Don't make your own decision based on personal taste, who's got the time? Let these chucklefucks figure it out for you. In which we discuss Adamandtheantsium, discover a secret ghost watcher and create a brand new hero.

It's 2019 and what better way to celebrate a fresh year than taking sitcoms, shows designed to bring joy and mirth to the world, and highlighting the bits we hate. In which we play a game, have our shortest pitch yet, and learn the importance of being jerk-strong

It's Christmas time and we deliver pitches the same way Santa delivers presents, drunk and covered in rice pudding. In which we festively discuss a solitary nut, defend mince pies and learn about Matt's strange Christmas rituals.

We are finally getting the hang of this podcasting thing as shown by the drastic increase in quality of this episode. Not the content obviously, just the audio. In which we summon Dan Brown, put shoes on our knees and, most importantly, reach out to Jake.

Somebody call the Olivier Awards and the Grammys, we have a hot new contender for best musical performance in a podcast. Move over Hamilton, there's a new sheriff in music-town. In which we sing. A lot. (And discuss Bananko)

I'm not going to lie to you, there are some more terrible accents in this one: Lets just get it out of the way and apologise to the French, the Americans and Dogs right now. In which we start with a song, find out about Harry's 11kg heart and learn how many times you can list 'carnivore' in a top 10 fact sheet.

You should know going into this one that accents really aren't our thing. You would have learnt for yourself pretty quick, but it's good to be prepared. Also, this one is (almost) 100% Bible free! In which we discuss the creative potential of a wife's incitement to murder, the importance of a west country accent, and big old chunky zombies.

Our beef from last episode has settled nicely but we're still hungry. Time to grab some FO2D and buckle up for another journey. Now with added testicular imagery! In which we discuss the LeBron of rhyme, the LeBron of Catholicism and the very special piece of paper Harry keeps in his wallet.

It's taken three episodes, but we have our first beef! We see you Ja Rule, we see you. Keep your eyes peeled for the two times we thoroughly fail to zing one another In which we discuss frog genitals, the invention of dubstep, and just how far you would be willing to drive somebody home.

Did you know 1 in 4 people don't understand multiple adjectives? In which we discuss Spoofception and learn all about Gerald Butler.

What is the best nineties video game? That isn't for us to say, but that didn't stop us. In which we discuss trams and say wub wub a lot.