Podcasts about convincing

On this episode, Harry Symeou looks back over Everton 0-1 Arsenal in the Premier League. We'll discuss some individual performances including those of Viktor Gyokeres, Martin Odegaard, William Saliba, Bukayo Saka, Declan Rice & more. It's an important three points, were you hoping for more though in terms of the performance? Is the online reaction slightly misleading, we'll cover all that and lots more on today's podcast. Sign up to support us on Patreon: https://patreon.com/thechroniclesofagooner?utm_medium=unknown&utm_source=join_link&utm_campaign=creatorshare_creator&utm_content=copyLink

Stevie B and I talk about limbo land,  that murky space so many people end up in early on in dating. The situationship. Not quite together. Not quite nothing.We talk about how any interaction between two people is a relationship, whether you label it or not. And how often one person is being clear about what they want, while the other is quietly hoping it'll turn into something more.We get into wishful thinking. Reading into moments. Convincing yourself that chemistry, closeness, or intimacy means commitment even when the words say otherwise.I share honestly about our early days and how easy it is to override what's being said because you want a different outcome.This episode is about:The cost of staying in the greyWhy clarity matters more than potentialHow self-respect gets eroded in limboAnd why honest communication is the only way outIf you've ever found yourself waiting, hoping, or trying to make something become what it isn't this one will land.Read my book, Authentic - coming home to your true self - AUS, EUR, USAAuthentic The Program - sign up hereCoach with me 1:1 - Book a 20-minute call nowThe Good Life - sign up nowOne-day retreat - March 20th, 2026Write into us - let us know what you want to hearWelleCo - use code KAT15 for 15% off welleco.com.auwww.katjohn.com.auSupport the show

Send us a textAre you stuck in the question that never seems to get answered: Should I stay or should I go?Some days your relationship feels warm enough to keep trying. Other days it feels so lonely you can't believe you're still sharing the same space. If you're in that place right now, you're not alone, and you're not broken.In this special rebroadcast of one of our most impactful episodes, we dive into what we call the Land of Maybe: the exhausting in-between where couples linger for years, hoping things will change, while quietly running out of emotional gas.Here's the truth most people don't hear soon enough: couples wait an average of six years to get help. By the time they do, it's not just about conflict anymore, it's about exhaustion, disconnection, and not knowing what to do next.In this episode, you'll learn:What the Land of Maybe actually looks and feels like inside a relationshipWhy “some days yes, some days no” is emotionally unsustainableHow blame, avoidance, and waiting it out keep couples stuckWhy relationship struggles are almost always skills problems, not love problemsHow to slow down instead of making fear-based decisionsSimple ways to “switch it up” so you can get new information and clarityHow one person can begin changing the dynamic, even if the other is hesitantIf you're navigating space or separation, this episode is especially important. Space can be a reset, or it can quietly become a slow exit, depending on what you do during it. We'll help you understand the difference and show you how to move through this season with intention instead of panic.Whether you've listened to this episode before or you're brand new to Love Shack Live, we invite you to listen with fresh ears. You're not the same person you were the first time you questioned your relationship, and your relationship isn't the same either.This conversation is about clarity. About skills. And about helping you stop spinning so you can start moving forward in a way that honors you, your partner, and what you truly want next.Need Support?If this episode stirred something in you and you're tired of carrying the “maybe” alone, you don't have to figure out your next step by yourself.Tom offers a free clarity call to help you slow things down, get grounded, and see your situation more clearly, without pressure or pushing you in any direction. Whether you're trying to repair, navigating space, or simply need help deciding what you can't keep carrying, this call is designed to bring calm, perspective, and direction.Couples wait an average of six years to get support. If you're already here, questioning and exhausted, the time is now.You can book your clarity call at stacibartley.com/apply.Clarity comes before big decisions. Support comes before repair.Timestamps: 02:03 Navigating the Land of Maybe06:34 Client Story: Janet and Rich09:07 Understanding and Changing Behavior16:27 The Importance of Practice and Support28:23 Convincing a Resistant Partner28:55 Blame and Guilt in Relationships29:35 The Impact of Physical Attraction31:13 Effective Communication Strategies31:58 Personal Experience and Real-Life Examples34:32 Navigating Conflicted Feelings36:43 The Importance of Slowing Down38:31 Switching Things Up in Relationships40:00 The Catalyst Effect in Relationships45:04 The Power of Humor and Fun51:32 Final Thoughts and Resources

12-19-25 - Convincing Brady To Not Help Family Beggars And Grifters That You Haven't Seen Since Your Teens - 12-17-24 - BOSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

12-19-25 - Convincing Brady To Not Help Family Beggars And Grifters That You Haven't Seen Since Your Teens - 12-17-24 - BOSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Carl and Mike open up the show with Falcons talk as they discuss what the potential future of Raheem Morris may be with the team to which Carl believes it will be a hard argument for Morris to convince Arthur Blank to bring Morris back as head coach.

Remember when Brandi called us and asked for tips on how to convince her husband to move to Kentucky? Well we have an update!

Mark Connors is a veteran credit analyst and macro thinker who's spent nearly four decades on Wall Street, from the bond desks of Solomon Brothers to the hedge fund trenches. What makes Mark unique is his ability to pull the lens back—connecting regime changes in global finance to bitcoin's rise as the asset with true integrity.In this episode, Mark joins The Bitcoin Frontier to share how his career shaped his understanding of risk, why bitcoin is the next monetary regime shift, and how Wall Street is still missing the plot. We dig into why bitcoin's volatility is actually a superpower, how financial plumbing is breaking beneath the surface, and why institutions will eventually be forced to adopt bitcoin as pristine collateral.SUPPORT THE PODCAST: → Subscribe → Leave a review → Share the show with your friends and family → Send us an email: podcast@unchained.com → Learn more about Unchained: https://unchained.com/?utm_source=you... → Book a free call with a bitcoin expert: https://unchained.com/consultation?ut...TIMESTAMPS:0:00 – Intro & Mark's 40-year Wall Street journey through credit and crisis3:15 – Lessons from Solomon Brothers to Bitcoin Park: where integrity lives6:05 – How bitcoin fits into the third monetary regime since Bretton Woods8:00 – The “hacks” that brought bitcoin into Wall Street's line of sight10:00 – Bitcoin as collateral and the coming collateral crisis12:20 – Understanding volatility: why bitcoin's risk is asymmetric17:00 – The myth of volatility and the truth about upside variance21:00 – “Good vol” vs “bad vol”: how bitcoin surprises to the upside25:00 – Why rebalancing into bitcoin beats traditional 60/40 portfolios29:00 – Can Wall Street co-opt bitcoin through paper markets?31:00 – The importance of holding your own keys and verifying collateral35:00 – Convincing older investors and rebuilding credibility post-FTX37:00 – Regime changes, Bretton Woods, and how history rhymes43:00 – How the dollar was “saved” by energy and the petrodollar system46:00 – Hidden cracks in the financial system and repo stress explained49:00 – How new liquidity facilities show a fragile, patched-up system52:00 – Will Wall Street adopt bitcoin for safety or profit?55:00 – The slow cultural shift toward integrity in finance57:00 – The ultimate incentive: clients demanding bitcoin exposure1:00:00 – Risks to bitcoin: mining centralization, paper supply, and innovation1:02:00 – Where to follow Mark and how he's educating advisorsWHERE TO FOLLOW US: → Unchained X: https://x.com/unchained → Unchained LinkedIn:   / unchainedcom  → Unchained Newsletter: https://unchained.com/newsletter → Mark Connors's Twitter: https://x.com/riskdimensions  → Timot Lamarre's Twitter: https://x.com/TimotLamarre 

Bob and Nolan listen to what John Harbaugh had to say at his Monday afternoon press conference. The head coach got a little testy when asked about their losing record at home this season.

Albeit against outmatched competition, Purdue bounced back from its loss to Iowa State with a pair of 20-plus-point wins over Minnesota and Marquette. Host Jordan Jones looks back on the week that was with his takeaways, including promising signs on the defensive end and dominance from Oscar Cluff. He then looks around the Big Ten at Purdue's conference title outlook after two league games. Can Purdue enter 2026 with a 12-1 record with two non-conference games to go? He then wraps by answering your questions on Omer Mayer and Purdue volleyball.

This week is our annual holiday episode, Convincing Christmas (#6)! In our main topic we give our individual versions of ‘A Christmas Carol!' Who are our ghosts of Christmas past, present and future? What do they show us? In our main”Ask An Idiot” segment, we discuss some toys we had on our Christmas lists as kids that we didn't get + if we'd still want them today!Pop Culture Headlines includes the bidding war between Netflix and Paramount for Warner Brothers/HBO Max; An actual teacher gets a role on ‘Stranger Things' final season; Jimmy Kimmel gets an extension and pet cloning?! Warning as usual for some explicit language & content from us Idiots!Have a drink with us and listen weekly for pop culture talk, nerdy debates, personal insults & questionable jokes on your favorite podcast platforms including Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Overcast, Pocket Casts, Amazon Music, iHeart Radio, Vurbl, Goodpods, Podvine & more! Watch us on our YouTube channelhttps://youtube.com/@convincingidiots?si=SWpsPG0wUhBwr-UkShow info can be found on our website: Convincing Idiots – We are a podcast of pop culture talk, nerdy debates & personal insults!Find show links on our Link Tree:https://linktr.ee/ConvincingIdiotsEmail us at ConvincingIdiots@gmail.com. Main Podcast Page:Convincing Idiots • A podcast on Spotify for CreatorsEnjoying the show? Consider becoming a Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/ConvincingIdiots Show merch store here:https://www.teepublic.com/stores/convincing-idiots?ref_id=33680Come be dumb with us! Listen and subscribe!

Miracle On Route 34: Part 1 Ginny gets a wonderful Christmas surprise. Based on a post by BiscuitHammer, in 3 parts. Listen to the Podcast at Steamy Stories. Author's Notes: Someone asked me to write a funny and erotic Christmas tale, but since I can't be normal, it is taking on a radical twist that I hope people will find amusing. I've tried to make Santa awesome but also give him some flaws that the ladies will find both charming and irksome all at once. I wasn't going to call it anything lame like 'Here Cums Santa Claus' (in spite of my love of Elvis) so I eventually settled on ripping off a classic and beloved Christmas movie, naming it 'Miracle On Rural Road 34'. Couldn't help myself with the 'Yes, Virginia' quip, of course. As for Superman, Oatmeal and the Easter Bunny, well, get used to more groaners like that, because I like them. Merry ho-ho and keep your stick on the ice! , Management Chapter 1. Ginny Hale sighed forlornly as she sat on her chesterfield in the dim room, the only light provided by the crackling fireplace and some scented candles spread around to make the house smell like gingerbread. She'd made gingerbread cookies earlier, but they were predictably burnt and now her kitchen smelled like a Christmas elf's ass. She took another sip of red wine from her oversized glass, unable to decide who or what to be mad at, the weather, for bringing this god-awful blizzard on Christmas Eve, her so-called friends for ditching her after she'd gone to all this work to put together a nice party, or herself for going crazy and buying this (admittedly nice) chateau way out here in the boondocks. Still relatively new to her negotiator position, Ginny had landed a huge deal for the company she worked for and the payout bonus was one of the biggest ever seen in-house. Though she had an office, she had often worked from her cramped apartment downtown, where a glorious chaos only she understood reigned. But the payout had been large enough for her to purchase a very pretty home in the country, not more than ninety minutes from work. Her boss was so pleased with the deal that he said she only had to come in once a week, to pick up whatever she needed to work on. It had seemed like a great idea at the time, but now she found she was quite lonely. Few people were will to put forth the effort to come out and visit her. In fact, only three had since the summer when she bought it. Hell, even her boy-toy, Chad from Accounting, could not be bothered and was now just fucking Lily in the secretary pool instead. Bing Crosby was singing 'White Christmas' to her while she moped. The big bay windows to her back porch showed the fury of the storm outside. Driving snow had been battering the countryside for two days now and her boss had called her to just stay safe and not try to come into the city. He was a nice old man and she liked him. He'd actually taken a chance and given her the job, after she'd fucked him. She hadn't invited him to her little soiree, because his miserable old bat of a wife was hovering around him constantly these days, certain he'd been tipping on her. But even without Old Man Reese, she'd invited upward of twenty people and none of them had shown. Not even Claire, her best supposed friend, had made it out. She was probably too busy being pinned and screwed by her boyfriend anyway, Guido or Nunzio or whatever his name was. Dean Martin came on, singing 'Marshmallow World'. Normally this was one of her favorites, but tonight it just reminded her that she was alone for Christmas. Again. With another sigh, she drank the rest of the wine in her glass and reached for the bottle, turning it over. It was empty. Damn. She'd have to open another one. She walked slowly into the kitchen, wearing her ratty old fox-themed footie pajamas, having decided that if she didn't have to dress up for anyone, she was dressing at all. She took a deep drink of spiked egg nog from the jug of it she'd prepared while she found another bottle of zinfandel and burped very loudly. She wrestled the cork off of the bottle and poured most of the contents into her oversized glass, muttering that she didn't have to answer to anyone about what she did, she was a big girl. She slumped back down on the couch while John Lennon asked her what she'd done for Christmas from the stereo system. "Up yours, John;" she said testily as she drank more wine. She stood unsteadily, blinking for a moment to try and clear her head. She might have had a bit of a wine fog going on, since she'd nearly polished off two bottles of Old Vine Zinfandel in under two hours. Convincing herself that walking was not a bad idea, she tottered over to the bay windows, reaching a hand out in front of herself to make sure it encountered the glass before her face did. "Will you look at that shit out there;" she muttered to no one in particular. After all, there was no one around to hear her. Well, almost no one. "Hi, Oatmeal," she said sweetly, grinning lopsidedly at the bearded dragon that sat in a terrarium near the bay doors. "Looks like you're my Christmas date; again;" The tiny lizard said nothing but assumed a darker shade of purplish brown. "Same to you too, bugface." Ginny muttered sourly, annoyed at being spurned by a reptile with a brain smaller than a sugared peanut. She lumbered back to the kitchen, trying unsuccessfully to eat several pieces of the Turkish Delight she'd tried to make, but they were sticky and runny, most of the reddish-pink mess ending up stuck to the front of her pajamas. "Son of a fucking reindeer!" she spat, attempting to remove the pajamas, her sticky fingers having trouble with the zipper. She finally kicked the thing off and left it in a corner of the kitchen, now wearing nothing except her panties and a halter top. She stomped back into the spacious living room, thoroughly annoyed. While the music played, she looked around for something to do, taking another pull from the egg nog jug she'd brought with her. The hot tub. It sat near the bay windows, set into the floor and was large enough for five or six people. She'd been hoping that maybe a few people of the dozens she'd invited would show and maybe they could have a fun pool party. She'd even told everyone in the invitations to bring their swimsuits. But of course, no one showed. She was beginning to suspect she could live in Buckingham Fucking Palace and still no one would come to see her. This was, literally, the fifth Christmas she'd spent by herself. The timing for friends never worked out and her parents were always off in Monaco or some such place, avoiding the weather. Her mom had already called earlier that night, so she wouldn't hear any more from them for a few days now. She sighed yet again and pulled off her underthings, stepping into the water. She was drunker than she wanted to admit, though, missing her footing, squealing and tumbling into the tub with a splash. Ginny came to the surface, sputtering and hissing in outrage. Why couldn't anything work out? Oatmeal just stared at her impassively. "You win this time, gravity;" she growled, displeased with her inelegant entrance. Well, at least she'd been smart enough to put down the jug of nog before trying to get in. She turned on the jets and retrieved her beverage, taking another big pull as the tub rumbled to life. Ginny laid back her head against one of the padded rests and tried to relax, to let her frustrations go. She turned on the jets and allowed one to massage her lower back while sipping at a glass of wine. She tried to put the frustrations of the holiday behind her, to let go of the feelings of rejection and somehow not belonging. "Why did I but this new fucking home if no one was interested in visiting? Everyone said they thought it was so great, but months later, still no visitors. Do I really not matter that much?" It annoyed her to think not only that she was alone, but that doubtless most of the people who had ditched her were at home getting laid. Claire was doubtless face down and ass up on her bed, getting plowed from behind by Guido. Even Mr. Reese, the old geezer, was probably getting some, either from his wife or maybe one of his secretaries. She sighed heavily and sat up, putting her now-empty wine glass aside and deciding that just because she was alone on Christmas Eve didn't mean she wasn't owed at least one good orgasm. She leaned forward and rested her forearms on the padded edge of the hot tub, positioning herself so that one of her jets, the one she'd named 'Juan', was right behind her. She felt the flow of water begin to caress her and she rested her head on her forearms as she wiggled further back, feeling the jet more strongly now as it pushed against her ass and her cunt. With a sigh, she found the perfect distance and pressed her face down into her arms, letting Juan work his magic. Water pressure massaged her cunt lips, strong enough to part them and to tease her clit, sending thrills through her. She shuddered and sighed loudly, forgetting, for now, how much men sucked. She bit the knuckle of her index finger, lost in reverie. God, if only it were a man fucking her. "Alone; on fucking Christmas; where's, ah!, where's the justice in that?" She was sweating now and panting as the relentless jets battered her nether tinglies, the sensations overwhelming her steadily. She clenched her teeth and her fists, straining as she fought to hold on a little longer. She moaned very loudly, her whole body shaking as Juan delivered a wonderful orgasm. She panted and groaned shamelessly, knowing that no one was around to see her in her pent-up, frustrated lust, expending it on her Jacuzzi jets. The scintillating lights behind her eyes, however, were over all too quickly and the climax subsided, replaced by a juddering sensitivity that made Juan's caress too much to bear. She collapsed against the edge of the hot tub, moving her ass away from the jet. "Alone; again;" She may have needed the orgasm, but it did nothing to improve her mood. It didn't help that the song 'This Christmas' by Shoes had begun playing as the cumming ended. When it finally felt like her legs would work again, she turned around and slumped into a corner of the tub, as far from Juan as possible. Ginny stayed still for some time, until her feet and fingers felt that annoying level of pruny that made everything awful to touch. With the heat of the water and all the alcohol she'd drunk, she was feeling rather light-headed, so she turned off the stereo and shut off the lights. She found a plate of her fucked-up and burnt gingerbread cookies and left them on a table near the fireplace along with the jug of nog before beginning to head upstairs to bed. "Yeah. Fuck this day. And fuck tomorrow too. Maybe if I stay drunk enough it'll just fly by. Fuck Christmas." The second floor was an open space in the middle, looking down onto the main floor. A set of stairs led up on either side and the bedrooms were spaced around the gallery. She'd loved the design when she bought it, but this only increased her frustration when no one ever came to visit. "Gorgeous fucking house; ten acres of beautiful nature filled with deer and ugly-ass wild turkeys; a fucking pond people could skate on; shit, I even found a patch of landrace back there! What's not to love about my new home? Why aren't people shitting themselves in jealousy?" She reached the master bedroom, sighing at how big it felt since she had no one to share it with. She stood in front of the mirror, looking at her naked body and sighing. She was trim and fit, with nicely-sized boobs, she kept her cunt shaved smooth and her full lips were simply made to suck cock. Her skin was fair and even and her dark brown hair was long enough to pull on if you were fucking her ass or taking her from behind. So what the hell was wrong? The bed was certainly big enough for two (or maybe her and two guys who didn't mind getting close), but she plunked herself down into it and stared at the ceiling, waiting for the room to stop drunk-spinning. It took longer than she wanted it to, but things finally slowed down an she breathed deeply. She reached over with her hand and fumbled around inside the drawer of the nightstand. She finally withdrew an elegant glass dildo, a barely opaque white with bright red stripes curling around it to simulate a candy cane. It had been a Christmas gift from Claire, who had jokingly given it to her until she found a man for herself. That bitch. "Well, Frosty," she sighed, examining him. "Looks like it's you and me tomorrow. I promise to not get out of bed except to go to the bathroom or get more booze, okay? Because I'm here for you;" And with that she kissed the dildo and put it aside. She turned out her lamp and sighed deeply as she lay in the dark, waiting for sleep to take her. "Fuck Christmas;" A noise from downstairs. Her eyes snapped open. She was sure she'd heard something. Her heart pounded in her chest. She took deep breaths to try and calm herself, reasoning that she'd been drunk and it might just be hangover noises. Maybe just something like branches scraping on the roof or across the walls? Ginny felt a flush of anger and slowly rose, getting out of bed and putting on a plush yellow robe. There were definitely sounds downstairs. She grabbed her rape whistle and her high-school field hockey stick off the wall before quietly opening the door and proceeding out of the room. Her cheeks flushed with fear and anger. How dare someone invade her house? And in this fucking weather! "Burglars? Ruffians? Escaped cons?" "Well, at least if they see you they might have their way with you and break your dry spell." She shook the vile notion from her head, wondering where the hell that'd come from. Could she be that desperate to get laid? Ginny walked as quietly as she could, hearing noises on the roof. Raccoons? Looking to get in from the cold? Fucking trash pandas. She rounded the corner of the gallery and put her foot on the top step, her hockey stick ready. She crept down the stairs, still hearing the noises. They seemed to be coming from her living room. Her eyes narrowed as she tried to identify anything that might be amiss. Then she saw him, a symphony of red trimmed in white, the huge ass swaying back and forth as the intruder was bent over her at the base of her Christmas tree, doing God only knows what to it. He seemed to be humming to himself. She walked up silently until she was maybe ten feet away from him, her hockey stick over her shoulder, ready to swing. He didn't hear her or took no notice of her. "I don't want to hurt you," she growled through clenched teeth. "But you'd best get the fuck out of my house or I'll hit you so hard Google won't be able to find you." The person in red paused in their activities and then stood up slowly. After another moment's pause, they stood up and turned around slowly. He was slightly taller than average and quite a bit fatter than societal norms allowed. He had a fat face with dancing blue eyes and red cheeks. Beneath the tapered red hat was long, silvery-white hair and a very full beard and moustache. The intruder looked at her and grinned. "Shouldn't you be in bed?" he asked with a voice that could only be described as jolly. Ginny said nothing. She seemed to be rooted to the spot. She wanted to say something, anything, but she seemed to have been robbed of the power of speech. "W, who;" she finally managed to stammer. "Yes, Virginia," the visitor said quietly but pleasantly in a soothing voice. "There really is a Santa Claus." She blinked and shook her head, trying to articulate a coherent thought. The big man in red chuckled, clearly amused by her predicament. "Your egg nog was very good," he mentioned as he walked forward a little. "Your cookies needed a little work, but I appreciate the effort. Maybe a cookbook next year?" "Stay still!" she snapped, suddenly coming out of her stupor and holding the hockey stick behind her head as if she was winding up for a hit. "I'll deck you, old man!" "Oh, there's no need for that," he said cheerfully, totally unconcerned by her threat. "It's been a rough year for you, hasn't it, Ginny?" "Why do you know my name?" she asked, her eyes narrowing in suspicion. "Of course I know it," the man claiming to be Santa said jovially. "I'd be pretty lousy at my job if I didn't, right?" "If you're really Santa," she said tightly, still not understanding why she hadn't knocked this guy's head off his shoulders yet. "Then what was I doing the night of October seventeenth last year?" He tilted his head to the side a little and pursed his lips. "Are you sure?" "C'mon, you haven't got all day." "Very well," he said, sighing. "You were sitting in McPhearson's Pub, waiting vainly for Greg from IT to show up, because you'd given him a blowjob in the bathroom earlier that day and promised him more. But he went off with Becky from Accounts that night instead of meeting up with you." She blushed furiously at the memory. "I; that wasn't the day I meant! I meant the sixteenth!" He shrugged. "You had the day off and were really frustrated. You slid a condom over that very field hockey stick and used it on yourself, just to see what it was like." Ginny dropped the stick very suddenly. "How the hell do you know that, you perv?" The man shrugged. "I know all about you, Ginny. And every other boy and girl in the world" "Don't give me that horseshit!" she hissed, glaring at him. "I had too many Christmases where I didn't get what I want to buy into that cockamamie story!" "Well, you weren't exactly the most exemplary child, were you?" he reasoned. "I mean, you weren't horrible, it's not like you were out kicking puppies into woodchippers, but you spent more time in the naughty column that the good column, didn't you?" "What did I ever do that was so naughty?" she demanded hotly, her fists bunched up at her sides. "You and your brother could get rather friendly, couldn't you?" the man calling himself Santa pointed out. She faltered for a moment. "Lots of siblings play doctor. And those atomic booty bombs where I kept jumping in the air and landing on him were just playful." "While naked?" Santa asked, raising a bushy white eyebrow. Ginny blushed. "But that wasn't what landed you on the naughty list," he added. "What got you blacklisted was that you lied about doing your homework or cleaning your room while you were messing around with your brother. Your mom and dad would ask you to do your math and you'd slip away to play doctor instead and tell them you'd finished your homework after. Lying is naughty, right?" "Woah, hold the phone here," she said loudly, holding her head as if she was suddenly dizzy from a revelation. She didn't seem to notice that her robe had opened slightly, exposing her cleavage. "Are you fucking kidding me? Fibbing to my parents kept me from getting the gifts I wanted?" "Were the rules unclear?" Santa asked. "I thought the songs on the subject were so easy to follow." Ginny pinched her eyes in exasperation and then scowled at him. "I'm drunk," she concluded, trying to convince herself none of this was real. "I'm drunker than Sarah Palin and you're not really here. I'm still in bed and this is all bullshit." Santa shrugged. "I was putting stuff under your tree until you arrived and enjoying the nog. I won't mind if you go back to bed." "No, you're not getting off that easily," she said in annoyance. "You broke into my house in the middle of the storm of the fucking century and I want answers, dammit!" He shrugged. "Fair enough. Ask away." Her eyes narrowed again. "Aren't you on kind of a time crunch? Unless I'm the last person on your delivery list, don't you still have a shit ton of houses to visit? Say, a few hundred million?" He waved it off. "I've got it covered, I promise. I have all the time in the world for you, Ginny. I always have." "What, so you sub-contract out?" she said snidely. "Got FedEx making the rounds for you? Or maybe your 'Elves'?" She mentioned the last bit with air quotes. "Goodness, this has been a bad year for you, hasn't it?" he said sympathetically. "But to answer your question, I am capable of being many places at once." "Oh, so now you're the Kwizatz-Haderach?" she asked archly. "Hey, it's not just cinnamon I put in my Christmas cider." Santa chuckled. "It's rather complicated to explain." "So do you, like, clone yourself?" she asked, her guard seeming to slowly come down. "No, not at all," he said, shaking his head. "It involves Cherenkov Radiation, a Holmes field, a Gellar field and, to quote a friend of mine, 'a lot of wibbly-wobbly, timey-wimey; stuff.'" "So it's some sort of deep quantum shit?" she asked, her body finally relaxing. He nodded, smiling. "Yes, it's very temporal and quantum. I can be many places at once. It's why I don't have to pay for billions in window repairs every year by going supersonic around the world." "So even while you're talking to me, you're delivering presents?" she asked, the sheer depth of the conversation hitting her now. She walked over to a stool and sat on it. "Like I said, it's difficult to explain without breaking out the chalkboard and calculator," he answered. "The magnetic lines between the poles help, especially the one that emanates from the Fortress of Solitude." Ginny blinked. "Fortress of Solitude? As in Superman? You're friends with Superman?" "Of course not!" the jolly man laughed. "There's no such thing as Superman, silly, he's a comic book character. Had you going, though." "Holy shit, Santa's a troll," she exclaimed, looking at him in bewilderment. "Well, okay, let's assume that this is all real and not a vivid hallucination resulting from a brain tumor. If I've been such a brat all these years, how do I make up for it? How do I get off the naughty girl list?" "Well, a little restraint would be a start," Santa suggested. "I'm not saying go out and become a Carthusian nun or a Buddhist priestess or anything, but you might try laying off the rampant promiscuity." "Why is that so bad?" she demanded. "What's so wrong with wanting to get banged?" "Nothing," he said simply. "But inevitably you get yourself into some kind of weird situation and end up lying your behind off and lying is a naughty thing to do. So try keeping your legs bolted together a little more." "Really;" she said, clearly not impressed. "Celibacy lessons from Santa Claus. Now I've heard everything." "According to my report here and speaking frankly, it's taken guys a lot less attractive than me a lot less effort to get you out of your clothes." Santa mentioned. "This coming from a guy who could clearly use a few P90-X sessions!" she shot back hotly, standing up, her robe opening further as she stomped toward him. He looked down at himself for a moment and guffawed. "Oh, right, I keep forgetting about that; hang on;" The man held his hands out to his sides and began to glow. The luminous display lit up the room progressively and Ginny held her hand in front of her face when it became too bright to look at for several seconds. When the light finally died away, leaving them once again in the softly lit living room, Ginny gaped in shock at what she saw. He was tall, powerfully built, with chiseled muscles, an eight pack and flawless, healthy skin. He'd removed his coat but the red pants remained, stretched tight over muscular thighs. Long, wavy, copper-colored hair fell past his shoulders and the full beard was reddish-gold. The sapphire-blue eyes stared down at her, still glittering with mirth. "Holy Jesus on a pogo stick;" she breathed, her voice little more than a whisper. "You're a total lumbersexual;" "This is what I really look like," he said, spreading his hands out to the sides and showing her his body. His chest rippled as the muscles flexed with the motion. "But kids react to the fat old man disguise better." "I'll bet mothers don't," she murmured, coming forward as if compelled and reaching out to touch his chest and washboard abs. "It's like you're Photo-shopped." He smiled as her hands caressed his abs. "You make me want to not get off the naughty list." "I think I know what you really want for Christmas;" he said slyly. Ginny paused and looked up at him in disbelief. "Are you kidding?" "No, I can't lie." the man in red pants replied. "I thought it was Superman who couldn't lie." "Well, the writers had to get that idea from somewhere, I guess." Santa mused. "In any event, if you want, you could end up on the good girl list by being rather naughty." She stared at him. "So; get laid by Santa for Christmas?" He shrugged. "There might be some other goodies in the bag for you, but I think we both know what Ginny really wants and needs for Christmas." "This is crazy, this is crazy, this is crazy!" she thought to herself, wrestling with her sensibilities. "If this is all just a dream, then I can fuck hunky Santa and have no regrets. If this is real, I can fuck sexy Santa and remember it in the morning! It's win-win!" "Well, this is super-easy," she declared. "Santa, I want you to fuck my brains out for Christmas." "With pleasure, Ginny!" he said, laughing merrily. "Whatever you like, however you want it. I have to keep the kiddies happy." "Good, but just don't say 'kiddies' anymore, because that's kinda creepy," she said, throwing her caution to the wind. She knelt down in front of him, putting her hands on the oversized silver belt buckle and undoing it. Letting it drop, she put her fingers on the front of his pants, caressing them over the crotch. Her mouth went dry. "That'd better not be a secondary present sack you're teasing me with;" Ginny hooked her fingers into the top of the velvety pants and pulled them down, revealing his cock. She drew in her breath slowly, her eyes widening. "Jesus," she muttered. "You're hung like a fat kid's Christmas stocking;" "Thanks, I make due." Santa said cheerfully, watching her admire his cock. "By the way, shouldn't I call you something else?" she asked, looking up at him while her hand reached up to take his huge shaft, wrapping around it, barely. "I mean, most people call you Santa Claus, but isn't your name Nick or Kris or something?" He shrugged again, grinning. "Nick, Kris, Klaus, Pelznickel, Joulupukki, Kanakaloka, Dun Che Lao Ren, Weihnachtsmann, Swiety Mikolaj, Hoteiosho, Jultomten, I don't mind, Ginny. I just like hearing you say my name the way you think of me." "Hmm, Santa;" she replied, smiling as she stroked her hand along his shaft, eyeing it hungrily. How the hell was she going to fit that all in her mouth, forget her aching cunt? "Ah, don't use that word," he chided, holding up a finger. "Some words are still naughty, even when you're an adult." "Stay out of my mind then, creeper." Ginny said as she leaned forward and swirled her tongue around the fat head of his cock. She flicked it around the tip and then slowly took it inside her mouth, tongue rolling against it. "The hell? How can his cock taste like mint?" "Just wait til you taste my cum." Santa said, leering. "Fine, but it better not taste like turkey gravy or we're gonna box." Ginny said as she pulled her mouth back for a moment. She pumped her hand gently along the shaft, studying her quarry intently. It was definitely the biggest cock she'd ever taken on, and the best-tasting. She'd been experiencing trippy magic all evening, maybe she could fit this monster in her mouth this one night; She put the head back in her mouth and relaxed, slowly pushing down the shaft. She moaned as she felt him slide to the back of her mouth and then to her throat. She felt him tremble and lay a huge but gentle hand on the back of her head. "Holy shit; I'm deep-throating Santa Claus;" Ginny took a deep breath through her nose and then tried to relax. Her whole body was tingling with excitement and the whole minty cock thing was throwing her off. Her tongue undulated along the underside of his shaft while the fingers of one hand formed a ring around the base of his cock and the other cupped his balls, fondling them. Ginny was proud of her cocksucking skills and if there was anyone she ever needed to impress with them (aside from her 11th Grade math teacher), it was probably Santa. She calmed herself and began pulling her mouth back along his length, humming and letting her lips vibrate softly on his sensitive skin. "Now I know why Mister Bondi gave you that A in math," Santa chuckled. "You're a very naughty girl, Virginia." "Hmm, only for you, Santa baby;" she cooed as she pulled her mouth off his cock long enough to respond, stroking slowly and swirling her tongue around the head again. She then slid back down the entire length, moaning in pleasure. She could feel her nipples getting hard and her cunt was very, very wet beneath her robe. Both his hands were on the back of her head now and holding her gently but firmly. She began to slowly bob back and forth, thrilled at how she was able to take this enormous beast of a cock all the way in her mouth. Sure, maybe there was some weird physics involved that compressed space and time or some shit, but she didn't care and he certainly didn't seem to mind. "Hmm, very good, Virginia;" he said softly, stroking her hair. No one ever called her Virginia and she didn't know why it gave her a tingle when he did. His cock was very full and very hard now, like a pulsing iron rod covered in mint-flavored velvet. She almost giggled at the thought of how crazy this all was. She really hoped it wasn't a dream. Her thumb began to squeeze along the underside of his cock as her hand followed her mouth up and down his length. The shaft glistened wetly and the mint was making her drool. She undid her robe and let it fall away, the air of the room kissing her flushed skin. Her hands now took hold of his powerful thighs and she began moving back and forth along his cock more quickly. She could feel his hands flexing in her long, dark hair, caressing her skin. Breathing through her nose, she moaned as she sucked ardently, her cunt almost aching with desire. She was hoping he would last long enough to fuck her when he went rigid suddenly and groaned, gripping her head tightly and his hips shuddering. Ginny's eyes widened as she felt him began to cum inside her mouth, spurting strongly. She began swallowing hastily, almost in a panic as Santa pumped his hips against her face. "Holy shit! Fucking eggnog?" He kept cumming and she was sure she might actually drown when he pulled his huge cock out of her mouth and pumped it furiously in his hand, spattering her tits and stomach with his glistening load. She'd never seen so much cum in her life. It tingled on her skin. Finally, Santa relaxed, allowing Ginny to put her mouth back around his cock and suck the rest of his cum from him. He was sighing and breathing rather heavily, apparently having enjoyed himself. She eventually released him and smiled up at him wickedly. "So," she cooed, winking while she gently pumped his cock with her hand. "Am I back on the good girl list?" "Oh, I'd think so," he said, grinned. "But it's not like I've given you your whole present yet." "Jeez, you can still go?" she asked almost in disbelief but also delighted. She really needed to be fucked hard now. "Your cock taste like mint, your cum tastes like nog, your ass probably tastes like hot cocoa or nutmeg and you can keep it up all night?" "Up all night is kind of my thing, at least once a year." Santa said cheerfully. "So how would you like for me to give you the rest of your present, Virginia?" "Well, golly, Santa," she mused, making a show of thinking while she stroked his cock. "Since you seem to be the gift that keeps on giving, how about we just wing it?" He nodded and she stood up, keeping hold of his cock and gently led him over to the large chesterfield, hoping it would hold his rather muscular frame. She knelt on it, resting her arms along the raised back and smiled at him, wiggling her behind. She wouldn't believe how wet her cunt was. "You gonna hurry down my chimney, Santa-baby?" she asked, smiling slyly. "I can't believe you just said that!" he laughed jovially. He may not have been older, fatter Santa, but the laugh still definitely suited him. He stepped up behind her and took gentle hold of her hips. She could feel him press against her ass and she shivered in anticipation. He slid his massive cock up and down between her ass cheeks, teasing her until she was writhing in desperation. He seemed to know instinctively what she loved most. Which only made sense, since he was Santa. "Ready, Virginia?" he asked as he pressed the huge mushroom head against her sticky cunt. She nodded eagerly, unwilling to speak. He slid the head in, parting her lips and penetrating her. She groaned loudly as he began to stretch her inner walls. With a slow, steady push of his hips, he pushed the entire length of his cock deep inside her. It robbed her of her breath, she'd never felt so full in her life, even that one time she'd been so horny she'd fucked her parent's bedpost. "Ah; uh;" she gasped, eyes wide. The sensations were like nothing she'd ever experienced. His cock completely filled her to a delightful stretch that didn't hurt except in the good way. His iron shaft throbbed in time with her heartbeat. It was wonderfully warm but also strangely cool all at once, tingling, like mint again. How the hell could her cunt taste peppermint? "Language, Virginia;" he chided again as he pressed in just a little bit further. By right his cockhead should have bruising her brainstem, but there was no doubt some weird physics shit involved that she decided not to think about. She was getting fucked by Santa, after all. She pressed her forehead against the back of the couch and tried squeezing her cunt around his titan cock or pressing back against him, squirming her ass against his hips. She shuddered in delight, loving how he felt inside her. His hands reached under her body and squeezed and massaged her tits, sending delicious thrills through her. He began to move slowly back and forth, pulling back until just the tip was inside her and pushing in steadily, almost robbing her of breath. She began to feel like a blacksmith's bellows very quickly. The feel of his cock sliding inside her, stretching her and touching deep inside in ways she hadn't known were possible; "Oh my god;" she gasped, fingers digging into the back of the couch. "You're tearing me apart and I love it;" "Only the best for my Virginia," he said, his ruddy cheeks taking on a flush tone as he fucked her. Her fingers squeezed the meat of her thighs and hips or flexed on her ass cheeks. His heavy balls slapped against her cunt as he drove inside her. Strong yet gentle, forceful and commanding yet accommodating. She felt dominated yet exalted somehow. His hand wrapped in her hair and she groaned loudly as he pulled on it, craning her neck. She shuddered in pleasure, feeling her spine almost accordion as he thrust inside while pulling her head back. Her could feel the pulse of his cock through her whole body. Her nails scratched along the couch, almost clawing it. "Uh, you're gonna make me cum so fucking hard;" she wailed, feeling the sweat forming on her skin. "Oh my gawd;" "You're going to make me cum hard too," he panted, thrusting deep inside, thumping his hips against her ass. "You feel wonderful and tight, Virginia;" "Oh, God, he's gonna cum in me;" she realized. "Santa's gonna fucking cum in me and he's not wearing anything! Will my birth control work? Shit, will my kids always smell like mint?" "Oh, God, cum in me!" she panted, thrusting herself back against him and grinding shamelessly. "Fucking cum in me, Santa!" "Ya want me to cum in you?" he hissed, his body beginning to tremble. It felt like his cock was getting bigger inside her. "Want my cum in you?" "God, yes!" Ginny squeaked, clenching her teeth. "Fucking cum in me and make me scream!" They strained against one another desperately and then she cried out as a massive orgasm crashed over her. It battered her senses as she felt his hot-yet-tingly-cool cum bathing her insides relentlessly. Her cunt was making greedy sucking sounds as she came, her whole body shuddering almost uncontrollably. She squeezed and clenched and rippled her tight tunnel round him, reveling in the way he stretched and penetrated her ever more deeply. She collapsed against the chesterfield, panting heavily, her body drenched in sweat. His massive, hard cock was still deep inside her, pinning her to him. She felt like she was made of lead, an exquisite exhaustion while pleasure crawled over her languidly. That was beyond anything she had ever experienced. But he didn't seem to be done with her. His powerful hands took hold of Ginny and turned her around so she was squatting on the couch, her knees spread wide and her arms slung across the high back. She looked up at him in weary astonishment as he nestled himself between her legs and pressed his cock against her sopping cunt again. "Ah!" she wailed as he slid deep inside her again, his huge cock splitting her wide. Her nails dug into the couch again and she clenched her teeth as she sucked in her breath. Ginny tried to regulate her breathing while Santa began sliding in and out slowly, looking down at her with those penetrating blue eyes. "Jesus," she grunted, feeling almost like a rag doll in his hands, which gripped her hips. "Gonna fucking kill me with that thing!" "Oh, let's hope not," he replied, thrusting into her strongly. "I'm nowhere near done with you." She gazed up at him, trembling as he fucked her good and hard. She bit her lip as he squeezed her thighs, before moving his hands up to squeeze her tits, pinching her nipples. She groaned shamelessly as the delicious sting electrified her senses. She tried to squeeze herself around him, baffled by how big he felt inside her. She gasped and whimpered as he slapped her cunt lightly. She reached forward and raked her nails over his powerful chest, leaving red marks along the defined muscles. She ground her hips against him wantonly, thrilling to the look of pleasure on this face. "Uh, fuckin' wreck me;" she gasped, feeling another massive climax building inside her. "Make me cum on that beautiful cock, Santa!" "I'll take 'Things Virginia Never Thought She'd Ever Hear Herself Say' for a thousand, Alex!" he laughed. He reached down and took her ass her hands and pulled her closer, smiling warmly yet wickedly into her eyes as she sank further onto his cock, which penetrated her to the deepest depths yet. She could feel the head pressing against her womb. It didn't hurt, but she felt fuller and more stretched than ever. She felt him squeeze her ass cheeks while he thrust into her. She wrapped her arms around his shoulders and held on tight, bumping up and down on his powerful thighs. She moaned loudly and bit his shoulder, trying not to shriek. She tried to squeeze herself around him again, finding that she could barely control her muscles, let alone fuck. She bit down as the warmth spread through her, tears of pleasure in her eyes. He thumped his hips against her even more strongly and they strained against one another. Then he growled and released himself, pumping her once again full of his tingling cum. She shuddered and cried out loudly, her head spinning from the unreal ecstasy. Crushing herself to him, Ginny held on desperately, like a ship battered by an unrelenting storm. They both slumped onto the couch, breathing heavily. She felt small and almost cocooned in his embrace. She was covered in a heavy sheen of sweat and could feel the thrilling tingle of his cum trickling out of her cunt. It wouldn't be a stain on her couch, it was a mark of honor. Their hearts pounded in rhythm as the orgasm passed over them and slowly flowed away. "Holy shit;" she whispered, her body still limp in his arms. "I think you've ruined me for sex. I should be mad;" "You have to admit, it makes sense that I'm better at gift-giving than anyone else on the planet." Santa reasoned, smiling and stroking her hair while she sat in his lap. "I'd say you were a little pent up there." "Mild understatement," she moaned, finally raising her head and smiling up at him. "Thank you, first of all. That was the best thing I've ever felt in my life." "I aim to please," he said cheerfully, caressing his thumb across her cheek and enjoying the shining look in her eyes. "Kinda my thing, after all." "So," Ginny purred, walking to fingers up his broad chest. "Is there a Mrs. Claus?" He shrugged. "There has been, of course." She paused suddenly and looked up at him, her smile replaced by a deadpan look. "What do you mean, there has been?" He seemed somewhat confused by her change in demeanor. "Well, there has been a few in the past, of course, there was Seeki first, then there was Ahoop, followed by Annalina, then Layla, Martha, Juliana, Gretchen and Jessica, Santarina, Kasey, Mary;" "I see," she said stonily. "You've had more wives than Elizabeth Taylor had husbands." "Well, to be fair, they've been spread over a long period of time." Santa replied. "And they were all special to me." "So then I'm not special." Ginny said flatly. "Well of course you are," he said, not understanding her mood swing. "You're my Virginia." "And Becky down the street is your Becky, and Sarah in the blue house is your Sarah and Hilda in Dusseldorf is your Hilda," she concluded. "Everyone's equally special to you, aren't they?" He didn't know what to say. "I'm sorry, I'm not being fair," she sighed. "I just; well, I thought maybe this; ya know, tonight, was truly special. And clearly you're not good at lying." "Well, no, not at all." Santa agreed, still holding her and wondering how he could comfort her. "I can't lie." "Like, literally can't?" she asked, now curious more than anything. "It's part of your genetic makeup that you can't lie?" "No, nothing like that," he admitted. "But after spending centuries with kids and teaching them to always tell the truth, I haven't tried telling a lie in so long I don't even know how to do it." "You don't know how to lie?" she mused. "If I did, it wouldn't be the least bit believable," he said. "Like, if I said right now that your breath smells wonderful and not like old eggnog and vomit, I somehow doubt you'd believe my lie." "No shit," Ginny replied, giving him a stony look. "You're a horrible liar. You've got the subtlety of a cement truck. Good thing you're Santa and don't have to date to charm a girl." He held her close, hugging her tight to comfort her. She sighed deeply, still impaled on his hard cock, which showed no sign of abating. "God, I can't believe you've still got wood after cumming like a fire hydrant three times," she said, her mood softening. She was having the best sex of her life, she reminded herself not to ruin it by being crazy. "How long can you keep going?" He shrugged his muscular shoulders. "How long do you need me to?" "Actually, it doesn't surprise me that's your answer." Ginny said, smirking. "If you've got the time, I've got another itch that needs scratching." He grinned. "So you haven't broken in that hot tub yet, have you?" "Oh, Santa;" she purred, leaning in and biting his earlobe. "Like you don't make me wet already." He picked her up and carried her toward the Jacuzzi, deftly turning it on with his foot and bringing it rumbling to life. He stepped down into the churning water, setting her one of the seats. As he stood up, she leaned forward and hungrily took his enormous cock into her mouth, sucking ardently. She moved forward and knelt in the water, her hands on his hips again or stroking his balls. He picked her up bodily and turned her upside. Ginny squeaked in surprise at first but found his hips in front of her and began sucking again on his tool without delay. He buried his face in her cunt, tongue snaking deep inside her and she groaned gutturally, Holding her in place with one powerful hand, her teased her taint and then pressed a finger into her ass. "Jesus!" she gasped, almost choking on his cock as he wormed the finger down into her tight tunnel. "Oh, fuck! Your finger is bigger than some dicks I've fucked!" She attacked his cock again eagerly, bobbing back and forth like her life depended on it. She squirmed in his grip as he lashed her cunt with his tongue and fingered her ass. Her fingernails dug into his thighs and her knees locked around his neck. His cock throbbed in her mouth, still thrilling her with its unique and incredible taste. He turned her around again and paid her on the edge of the hot tub, spreading her legs wide. She looked on wantonly as he pushed his tongue back inside her again. He gripped her thighs to hold her in place and she groaned and squirmed, squeezing her tits and pulling on her nipples. Her breath came in ragged gasps as he drove her to the limit of her sensations. Ginny shook and thrashed as she cried out loudly, cumming on his face. He didn't let up, lapping at her essence eagerly. She lay like a dead thing for several seconds before her chest began to rise and fall. Her eyes opened, gazing back at him. She couldn't feel her limbs, just floating on a tingling ocean of deep colors. Santa looked up at her and smiled, pulling his tongue out of her cunt and kissing her clit gently. She shivered at the touch. "One hole left, Santa," she breathed, her body glistening. "Got any left in you to perfect my Christmas?" "Always for you, Virginia." Santa said warmly, standing and raising her gently into a sitting position. He settled down into the water on one of the seats and then pulled her onto his lap, facing away from him. She moved her hips around until she found his rock-hard cock, waiting for her. She placed her puckered knot against it, giggling as she thought about what he was about to do to her. She took his shaft in her hand and held it steady while she sank down, very slowly. Ginny gasped and shivered as the head pushed aside the tight ring of muscle, popping inside her. Then she sighed as she lowered herself, feeling his massive cock stretching her tight tunnel wide. God, she felt so full it was unreal. Finally, after what felt like an eternity, her ass cheeks pressed to his lap. He was all the way inside her ass and her held her closed as she settled back against him, purring in sensual pleasure. "Umm, it's never felt this good in my ass before," she said softly, her arms reaching back to curl around his neck. She gyrated slowly on his lap, moaning softly. "A gal could get used to this." His muscular arms wrapped around her and caressed Ginny's body, massaging her tits. She loved how she felt pinned to him. She had finally found the measure of her body and began to squeeze her tight ass around his cock. She squirmed in slow circles on his lap, wishing she had some music to fuck him to. Her stereo system suddenly came on and began playing 'It's Cold Outside'. She giggled and squeezed his neck gently at his thoughtfulness. "You think of everything, don't you?" she purred, lost in her pleasure. "I can't wait to make you cum again." He smiled wickedly and pulled gently on her nipples, causing her to groan at the welcome sting. She pressed her ass back into his lap, squeezing again around his throbbing shaft. The water bubbled and churned around her waist, the heat leaving her skin shining. She began to pant as she moved her hips faster, stopping the circular motions and started to move up and down, his cock sliding in and out of her. Santa took hold of her hips and let her bounce on his lap. Ginny leaned forward, gasping as she fondled her tits, overcome with a liquid heat as his cock impaled her faster and faster. Water splashed around them as the fucking took on an almost frantic pace. Ginny had never felt anything in her ass like this before, nothing even close to this good. She could very easily become an addict. "Uh, fuck!" she grunted, slamming her ass down on him while one hand snaked down and began massaging her cunt and clit. His hands steadied her and helped moved her up and down. She could feel his hips trembling beneath her, his fingers flexing and squeezing her skin. Her panting became a long, drawn-out keening. She clenched her teeth, shuddering and straining as she tried to prolong the fucking; Ginny screamed and pushed herself back against his massive chest violently, thrashing as she clenched his cock inside her ass while he came. His cream flooded inside her, the unreal hot-cool tingling transporting her. He growled in her ear, almost crushing her comparatively tiny frame against himself. She collapsed, utterly exhausted, her chest rising and falling as the world spun around her. She felt him holding her gently, caressing her body in unique ways that seemed to; regulate her blood flow and nerve sensations, making the post-orgasmic bliss she was feeling last as long as possible. She felt herself smile and hum at his consideration, understanding this this is who he was and what he was meant to do. Ginny then did something she almost never did during sex, she leaned her head back, pressed her lips to his and kissed him deeply and with great affection. She held it for as long as she could and then sank back into his embrace, sighing in contentment. "Wish you were advertising for a Mrs. Claus at the moment," she said softly. "I could get used to this." "I like things the way they are," he replied, hugging her. "Every year I get to reward you for being a good girl. What could be better than that?" "True, I guess," Ginny agreed. "I'm only human, all this sex could kill me." "Hey, I'm human too, you know," he chuckled. "Just because I'm immeasurably older than you and subject to quantum laws even my smartest elf couldn't explain doesn't mean I'm a member of some other species." "Okay, that's fair, although I'd still fuck you if you were an alien or some extra-dimensional being." Ginny admitted. "You've come in me a lot tonight, daddy. Do I need to” "No," he said cheerfully. "I'm not sterile, but you can't get pregnant unless I decide you will and I've never allowed it." "I wonder what a Santa kid would be like," she mused. "More like you or the mom?" "No idea," he confessed. "There's not exactly a manual, so I've never taken a chance." She slowly leaned forward and began to rise, shivering as she slid off his long cock and it popped out of her. She knelt and turned around to face him, not sure she could stand yet, looking up at his still hard cock and giggled, pressing her finger against the head. "Well, I think you can take him off duty, sir," she said sweetly. "I'm pretty sure that I'm all fucked out for the night, if not the whole season." He chuckled and let his cock soften, looking into her eyes and caressing his cheek. "Hopefully that was what you needed for Christmas." "Definitely, Santa." Ginny said, giggling. "Is it greedy to want the same present again next year?" "Not at all," he replied, grinning. "It cuts down on elf-labor hours if I can give people a gift mysteriously." Santa paused in speaking, going silent and looking around, as if listening for something. Neither of them touched the controls, but the motor for the jets turned off and all that could be heard was the howling roar of the winter storm outside. Ginny looked at him in confusion, wondering why his features hardened and a scowl crossed his normally jovial face. "That's no storm," he said in a low, growling voice. "Not a regular one, anyway." "What does that mean?" she asked, his reaction worrying her for reasons she couldn't readily explain. What the hell was a 'not regular' storm, according to Santa, or anyone else for that matter? He stood up and strode out of the hot tub, taking her by the hand and pulling her out with him. Their naked bodies glistened with water but this was the farthest thing from her mind. "What's going on?" she asked, his consternation beginning to frighten her now. She watched as he tossed her the robe she'd been wearing earlier and then started pulling on his pants and sturdy black boots. "It's just a winter storm! Isn't it?" "I wish that were true," he replied, his expression grim. "Listen to me very carefully, Virginia. I'll need you to follow me instructions precisely. Do you understand?" She nodded. "Okay, but” "Good," he said, cutting her off, his eyes flashing. "It's very important to your safety." "Can you at least tell me what's happening?" she pleaded. "Krampus." Santa muttered darkly as he wrapped bright red straps around his wrists, tightening them. "I should've been more careful." "What's Krampus?" she asked, going pale and she paused in putting on her robe, one of her tits hanging out. "Krampus isn't a what, Krampus is a who," he said, his eyes scanning the layout of her expansive living room. "He's also called Black Pete in some places and legend says he's supposed to be my evil henchman who punishes wicked children." "I take it that's not true, then?" she asked, looking around like he did, wondering what he was searching for. "Not even close," he growled. "Pardon my French, but Krampus is an evil sonofabitch. He was, at one time long ago, my dedicated helper, but he turned down the path of darkness, becoming twisted and diabolic. Forget punishing children, he wants to destroy Christmas, like it never happened." "What's that got to do with us here?" she asked, trying to keep her voice from trembling. "Can he reach us in this storm?" "This storm is his doing, I recognize it now," Santa said, striding over to his huge Christmas bag and beginning to rummage in it. "A massive storm always precedes his arrival. It can be mistaken for a regular winter storm if you're not paying

Miracle On Route 34: Part 1 Ginny gets a wonderful Christmas surprise. Based on a post by BiscuitHammer, in 3 parts. Listen to the Podcast at Steamy Stories. Author's Notes: Someone asked me to write a funny and erotic Christmas tale, but since I can't be normal, it is taking on a radical twist that I hope people will find amusing. I've tried to make Santa awesome but also give him some flaws that the ladies will find both charming and irksome all at once. I wasn't going to call it anything lame like 'Here Cums Santa Claus' (in spite of my love of Elvis) so I eventually settled on ripping off a classic and beloved Christmas movie, naming it 'Miracle On Rural Road 34'. Couldn't help myself with the 'Yes, Virginia' quip, of course. As for Superman, Oatmeal and the Easter Bunny, well, get used to more groaners like that, because I like them. Merry ho-ho and keep your stick on the ice! , Management Chapter 1. Ginny Hale sighed forlornly as she sat on her chesterfield in the dim room, the only light provided by the crackling fireplace and some scented candles spread around to make the house smell like gingerbread. She'd made gingerbread cookies earlier, but they were predictably burnt and now her kitchen smelled like a Christmas elf's ass. She took another sip of red wine from her oversized glass, unable to decide who or what to be mad at, the weather, for bringing this god-awful blizzard on Christmas Eve, her so-called friends for ditching her after she'd gone to all this work to put together a nice party, or herself for going crazy and buying this (admittedly nice) chateau way out here in the boondocks. Still relatively new to her negotiator position, Ginny had landed a huge deal for the company she worked for and the payout bonus was one of the biggest ever seen in-house. Though she had an office, she had often worked from her cramped apartment downtown, where a glorious chaos only she understood reigned. But the payout had been large enough for her to purchase a very pretty home in the country, not more than ninety minutes from work. Her boss was so pleased with the deal that he said she only had to come in once a week, to pick up whatever she needed to work on. It had seemed like a great idea at the time, but now she found she was quite lonely. Few people were will to put forth the effort to come out and visit her. In fact, only three had since the summer when she bought it. Hell, even her boy-toy, Chad from Accounting, could not be bothered and was now just fucking Lily in the secretary pool instead. Bing Crosby was singing 'White Christmas' to her while she moped. The big bay windows to her back porch showed the fury of the storm outside. Driving snow had been battering the countryside for two days now and her boss had called her to just stay safe and not try to come into the city. He was a nice old man and she liked him. He'd actually taken a chance and given her the job, after she'd fucked him. She hadn't invited him to her little soiree, because his miserable old bat of a wife was hovering around him constantly these days, certain he'd been tipping on her. But even without Old Man Reese, she'd invited upward of twenty people and none of them had shown. Not even Claire, her best supposed friend, had made it out. She was probably too busy being pinned and screwed by her boyfriend anyway, Guido or Nunzio or whatever his name was. Dean Martin came on, singing 'Marshmallow World'. Normally this was one of her favorites, but tonight it just reminded her that she was alone for Christmas. Again. With another sigh, she drank the rest of the wine in her glass and reached for the bottle, turning it over. It was empty. Damn. She'd have to open another one. She walked slowly into the kitchen, wearing her ratty old fox-themed footie pajamas, having decided that if she didn't have to dress up for anyone, she was dressing at all. She took a deep drink of spiked egg nog from the jug of it she'd prepared while she found another bottle of zinfandel and burped very loudly. She wrestled the cork off of the bottle and poured most of the contents into her oversized glass, muttering that she didn't have to answer to anyone about what she did, she was a big girl. She slumped back down on the couch while John Lennon asked her what she'd done for Christmas from the stereo system. "Up yours, John;" she said testily as she drank more wine. She stood unsteadily, blinking for a moment to try and clear her head. She might have had a bit of a wine fog going on, since she'd nearly polished off two bottles of Old Vine Zinfandel in under two hours. Convincing herself that walking was not a bad idea, she tottered over to the bay windows, reaching a hand out in front of herself to make sure it encountered the glass before her face did. "Will you look at that shit out there;" she muttered to no one in particular. After all, there was no one around to hear her. Well, almost no one. "Hi, Oatmeal," she said sweetly, grinning lopsidedly at the bearded dragon that sat in a terrarium near the bay doors. "Looks like you're my Christmas date; again;" The tiny lizard said nothing but assumed a darker shade of purplish brown. "Same to you too, bugface." Ginny muttered sourly, annoyed at being spurned by a reptile with a brain smaller than a sugared peanut. She lumbered back to the kitchen, trying unsuccessfully to eat several pieces of the Turkish Delight she'd tried to make, but they were sticky and runny, most of the reddish-pink mess ending up stuck to the front of her pajamas. "Son of a fucking reindeer!" she spat, attempting to remove the pajamas, her sticky fingers having trouble with the zipper. She finally kicked the thing off and left it in a corner of the kitchen, now wearing nothing except her panties and a halter top. She stomped back into the spacious living room, thoroughly annoyed. While the music played, she looked around for something to do, taking another pull from the egg nog jug she'd brought with her. The hot tub. It sat near the bay windows, set into the floor and was large enough for five or six people. She'd been hoping that maybe a few people of the dozens she'd invited would show and maybe they could have a fun pool party. She'd even told everyone in the invitations to bring their swimsuits. But of course, no one showed. She was beginning to suspect she could live in Buckingham Fucking Palace and still no one would come to see her. This was, literally, the fifth Christmas she'd spent by herself. The timing for friends never worked out and her parents were always off in Monaco or some such place, avoiding the weather. Her mom had already called earlier that night, so she wouldn't hear any more from them for a few days now. She sighed yet again and pulled off her underthings, stepping into the water. She was drunker than she wanted to admit, though, missing her footing, squealing and tumbling into the tub with a splash. Ginny came to the surface, sputtering and hissing in outrage. Why couldn't anything work out? Oatmeal just stared at her impassively. "You win this time, gravity;" she growled, displeased with her inelegant entrance. Well, at least she'd been smart enough to put down the jug of nog before trying to get in. She turned on the jets and retrieved her beverage, taking another big pull as the tub rumbled to life. Ginny laid back her head against one of the padded rests and tried to relax, to let her frustrations go. She turned on the jets and allowed one to massage her lower back while sipping at a glass of wine. She tried to put the frustrations of the holiday behind her, to let go of the feelings of rejection and somehow not belonging. "Why did I but this new fucking home if no one was interested in visiting? Everyone said they thought it was so great, but months later, still no visitors. Do I really not matter that much?" It annoyed her to think not only that she was alone, but that doubtless most of the people who had ditched her were at home getting laid. Claire was doubtless face down and ass up on her bed, getting plowed from behind by Guido. Even Mr. Reese, the old geezer, was probably getting some, either from his wife or maybe one of his secretaries. She sighed heavily and sat up, putting her now-empty wine glass aside and deciding that just because she was alone on Christmas Eve didn't mean she wasn't owed at least one good orgasm. She leaned forward and rested her forearms on the padded edge of the hot tub, positioning herself so that one of her jets, the one she'd named 'Juan', was right behind her. She felt the flow of water begin to caress her and she rested her head on her forearms as she wiggled further back, feeling the jet more strongly now as it pushed against her ass and her cunt. With a sigh, she found the perfect distance and pressed her face down into her arms, letting Juan work his magic. Water pressure massaged her cunt lips, strong enough to part them and to tease her clit, sending thrills through her. She shuddered and sighed loudly, forgetting, for now, how much men sucked. She bit the knuckle of her index finger, lost in reverie. God, if only it were a man fucking her. "Alone; on fucking Christmas; where's, ah!, where's the justice in that?" She was sweating now and panting as the relentless jets battered her nether tinglies, the sensations overwhelming her steadily. She clenched her teeth and her fists, straining as she fought to hold on a little longer. She moaned very loudly, her whole body shaking as Juan delivered a wonderful orgasm. She panted and groaned shamelessly, knowing that no one was around to see her in her pent-up, frustrated lust, expending it on her Jacuzzi jets. The scintillating lights behind her eyes, however, were over all too quickly and the climax subsided, replaced by a juddering sensitivity that made Juan's caress too much to bear. She collapsed against the edge of the hot tub, moving her ass away from the jet. "Alone; again;" She may have needed the orgasm, but it did nothing to improve her mood. It didn't help that the song 'This Christmas' by Shoes had begun playing as the cumming ended. When it finally felt like her legs would work again, she turned around and slumped into a corner of the tub, as far from Juan as possible. Ginny stayed still for some time, until her feet and fingers felt that annoying level of pruny that made everything awful to touch. With the heat of the water and all the alcohol she'd drunk, she was feeling rather light-headed, so she turned off the stereo and shut off the lights. She found a plate of her fucked-up and burnt gingerbread cookies and left them on a table near the fireplace along with the jug of nog before beginning to head upstairs to bed. "Yeah. Fuck this day. And fuck tomorrow too. Maybe if I stay drunk enough it'll just fly by. Fuck Christmas." The second floor was an open space in the middle, looking down onto the main floor. A set of stairs led up on either side and the bedrooms were spaced around the gallery. She'd loved the design when she bought it, but this only increased her frustration when no one ever came to visit. "Gorgeous fucking house; ten acres of beautiful nature filled with deer and ugly-ass wild turkeys; a fucking pond people could skate on; shit, I even found a patch of landrace back there! What's not to love about my new home? Why aren't people shitting themselves in jealousy?" She reached the master bedroom, sighing at how big it felt since she had no one to share it with. She stood in front of the mirror, looking at her naked body and sighing. She was trim and fit, with nicely-sized boobs, she kept her cunt shaved smooth and her full lips were simply made to suck cock. Her skin was fair and even and her dark brown hair was long enough to pull on if you were fucking her ass or taking her from behind. So what the hell was wrong? The bed was certainly big enough for two (or maybe her and two guys who didn't mind getting close), but she plunked herself down into it and stared at the ceiling, waiting for the room to stop drunk-spinning. It took longer than she wanted it to, but things finally slowed down an she breathed deeply. She reached over with her hand and fumbled around inside the drawer of the nightstand. She finally withdrew an elegant glass dildo, a barely opaque white with bright red stripes curling around it to simulate a candy cane. It had been a Christmas gift from Claire, who had jokingly given it to her until she found a man for herself. That bitch. "Well, Frosty," she sighed, examining him. "Looks like it's you and me tomorrow. I promise to not get out of bed except to go to the bathroom or get more booze, okay? Because I'm here for you;" And with that she kissed the dildo and put it aside. She turned out her lamp and sighed deeply as she lay in the dark, waiting for sleep to take her. "Fuck Christmas;" A noise from downstairs. Her eyes snapped open. She was sure she'd heard something. Her heart pounded in her chest. She took deep breaths to try and calm herself, reasoning that she'd been drunk and it might just be hangover noises. Maybe just something like branches scraping on the roof or across the walls? Ginny felt a flush of anger and slowly rose, getting out of bed and putting on a plush yellow robe. There were definitely sounds downstairs. She grabbed her rape whistle and her high-school field hockey stick off the wall before quietly opening the door and proceeding out of the room. Her cheeks flushed with fear and anger. How dare someone invade her house? And in this fucking weather! "Burglars? Ruffians? Escaped cons?" "Well, at least if they see you they might have their way with you and break your dry spell." She shook the vile notion from her head, wondering where the hell that'd come from. Could she be that desperate to get laid? Ginny walked as quietly as she could, hearing noises on the roof. Raccoons? Looking to get in from the cold? Fucking trash pandas. She rounded the corner of the gallery and put her foot on the top step, her hockey stick ready. She crept down the stairs, still hearing the noises. They seemed to be coming from her living room. Her eyes narrowed as she tried to identify anything that might be amiss. Then she saw him, a symphony of red trimmed in white, the huge ass swaying back and forth as the intruder was bent over her at the base of her Christmas tree, doing God only knows what to it. He seemed to be humming to himself. She walked up silently until she was maybe ten feet away from him, her hockey stick over her shoulder, ready to swing. He didn't hear her or took no notice of her. "I don't want to hurt you," she growled through clenched teeth. "But you'd best get the fuck out of my house or I'll hit you so hard Google won't be able to find you." The person in red paused in their activities and then stood up slowly. After another moment's pause, they stood up and turned around slowly. He was slightly taller than average and quite a bit fatter than societal norms allowed. He had a fat face with dancing blue eyes and red cheeks. Beneath the tapered red hat was long, silvery-white hair and a very full beard and moustache. The intruder looked at her and grinned. "Shouldn't you be in bed?" he asked with a voice that could only be described as jolly. Ginny said nothing. She seemed to be rooted to the spot. She wanted to say something, anything, but she seemed to have been robbed of the power of speech. "W, who;" she finally managed to stammer. "Yes, Virginia," the visitor said quietly but pleasantly in a soothing voice. "There really is a Santa Claus." She blinked and shook her head, trying to articulate a coherent thought. The big man in red chuckled, clearly amused by her predicament. "Your egg nog was very good," he mentioned as he walked forward a little. "Your cookies needed a little work, but I appreciate the effort. Maybe a cookbook next year?" "Stay still!" she snapped, suddenly coming out of her stupor and holding the hockey stick behind her head as if she was winding up for a hit. "I'll deck you, old man!" "Oh, there's no need for that," he said cheerfully, totally unconcerned by her threat. "It's been a rough year for you, hasn't it, Ginny?" "Why do you know my name?" she asked, her eyes narrowing in suspicion. "Of course I know it," the man claiming to be Santa said jovially. "I'd be pretty lousy at my job if I didn't, right?" "If you're really Santa," she said tightly, still not understanding why she hadn't knocked this guy's head off his shoulders yet. "Then what was I doing the night of October seventeenth last year?" He tilted his head to the side a little and pursed his lips. "Are you sure?" "C'mon, you haven't got all day." "Very well," he said, sighing. "You were sitting in McPhearson's Pub, waiting vainly for Greg from IT to show up, because you'd given him a blowjob in the bathroom earlier that day and promised him more. But he went off with Becky from Accounts that night instead of meeting up with you." She blushed furiously at the memory. "I; that wasn't the day I meant! I meant the sixteenth!" He shrugged. "You had the day off and were really frustrated. You slid a condom over that very field hockey stick and used it on yourself, just to see what it was like." Ginny dropped the stick very suddenly. "How the hell do you know that, you perv?" The man shrugged. "I know all about you, Ginny. And every other boy and girl in the world" "Don't give me that horseshit!" she hissed, glaring at him. "I had too many Christmases where I didn't get what I want to buy into that cockamamie story!" "Well, you weren't exactly the most exemplary child, were you?" he reasoned. "I mean, you weren't horrible, it's not like you were out kicking puppies into woodchippers, but you spent more time in the naughty column that the good column, didn't you?" "What did I ever do that was so naughty?" she demanded hotly, her fists bunched up at her sides. "You and your brother could get rather friendly, couldn't you?" the man calling himself Santa pointed out. She faltered for a moment. "Lots of siblings play doctor. And those atomic booty bombs where I kept jumping in the air and landing on him were just playful." "While naked?" Santa asked, raising a bushy white eyebrow. Ginny blushed. "But that wasn't what landed you on the naughty list," he added. "What got you blacklisted was that you lied about doing your homework or cleaning your room while you were messing around with your brother. Your mom and dad would ask you to do your math and you'd slip away to play doctor instead and tell them you'd finished your homework after. Lying is naughty, right?" "Woah, hold the phone here," she said loudly, holding her head as if she was suddenly dizzy from a revelation. She didn't seem to notice that her robe had opened slightly, exposing her cleavage. "Are you fucking kidding me? Fibbing to my parents kept me from getting the gifts I wanted?" "Were the rules unclear?" Santa asked. "I thought the songs on the subject were so easy to follow." Ginny pinched her eyes in exasperation and then scowled at him. "I'm drunk," she concluded, trying to convince herself none of this was real. "I'm drunker than Sarah Palin and you're not really here. I'm still in bed and this is all bullshit." Santa shrugged. "I was putting stuff under your tree until you arrived and enjoying the nog. I won't mind if you go back to bed." "No, you're not getting off that easily," she said in annoyance. "You broke into my house in the middle of the storm of the fucking century and I want answers, dammit!" He shrugged. "Fair enough. Ask away." Her eyes narrowed again. "Aren't you on kind of a time crunch? Unless I'm the last person on your delivery list, don't you still have a shit ton of houses to visit? Say, a few hundred million?" He waved it off. "I've got it covered, I promise. I have all the time in the world for you, Ginny. I always have." "What, so you sub-contract out?" she said snidely. "Got FedEx making the rounds for you? Or maybe your 'Elves'?" She mentioned the last bit with air quotes. "Goodness, this has been a bad year for you, hasn't it?" he said sympathetically. "But to answer your question, I am capable of being many places at once." "Oh, so now you're the Kwizatz-Haderach?" she asked archly. "Hey, it's not just cinnamon I put in my Christmas cider." Santa chuckled. "It's rather complicated to explain." "So do you, like, clone yourself?" she asked, her guard seeming to slowly come down. "No, not at all," he said, shaking his head. "It involves Cherenkov Radiation, a Holmes field, a Gellar field and, to quote a friend of mine, 'a lot of wibbly-wobbly, timey-wimey; stuff.'" "So it's some sort of deep quantum shit?" she asked, her body finally relaxing. He nodded, smiling. "Yes, it's very temporal and quantum. I can be many places at once. It's why I don't have to pay for billions in window repairs every year by going supersonic around the world." "So even while you're talking to me, you're delivering presents?" she asked, the sheer depth of the conversation hitting her now. She walked over to a stool and sat on it. "Like I said, it's difficult to explain without breaking out the chalkboard and calculator," he answered. "The magnetic lines between the poles help, especially the one that emanates from the Fortress of Solitude." Ginny blinked. "Fortress of Solitude? As in Superman? You're friends with Superman?" "Of course not!" the jolly man laughed. "There's no such thing as Superman, silly, he's a comic book character. Had you going, though." "Holy shit, Santa's a troll," she exclaimed, looking at him in bewilderment. "Well, okay, let's assume that this is all real and not a vivid hallucination resulting from a brain tumor. If I've been such a brat all these years, how do I make up for it? How do I get off the naughty girl list?" "Well, a little restraint would be a start," Santa suggested. "I'm not saying go out and become a Carthusian nun or a Buddhist priestess or anything, but you might try laying off the rampant promiscuity." "Why is that so bad?" she demanded. "What's so wrong with wanting to get banged?" "Nothing," he said simply. "But inevitably you get yourself into some kind of weird situation and end up lying your behind off and lying is a naughty thing to do. So try keeping your legs bolted together a little more." "Really;" she said, clearly not impressed. "Celibacy lessons from Santa Claus. Now I've heard everything." "According to my report here and speaking frankly, it's taken guys a lot less attractive than me a lot less effort to get you out of your clothes." Santa mentioned. "This coming from a guy who could clearly use a few P90-X sessions!" she shot back hotly, standing up, her robe opening further as she stomped toward him. He looked down at himself for a moment and guffawed. "Oh, right, I keep forgetting about that; hang on;" The man held his hands out to his sides and began to glow. The luminous display lit up the room progressively and Ginny held her hand in front of her face when it became too bright to look at for several seconds. When the light finally died away, leaving them once again in the softly lit living room, Ginny gaped in shock at what she saw. He was tall, powerfully built, with chiseled muscles, an eight pack and flawless, healthy skin. He'd removed his coat but the red pants remained, stretched tight over muscular thighs. Long, wavy, copper-colored hair fell past his shoulders and the full beard was reddish-gold. The sapphire-blue eyes stared down at her, still glittering with mirth. "Holy Jesus on a pogo stick;" she breathed, her voice little more than a whisper. "You're a total lumbersexual;" "This is what I really look like," he said, spreading his hands out to the sides and showing her his body. His chest rippled as the muscles flexed with the motion. "But kids react to the fat old man disguise better." "I'll bet mothers don't," she murmured, coming forward as if compelled and reaching out to touch his chest and washboard abs. "It's like you're Photo-shopped." He smiled as her hands caressed his abs. "You make me want to not get off the naughty list." "I think I know what you really want for Christmas;" he said slyly. Ginny paused and looked up at him in disbelief. "Are you kidding?" "No, I can't lie." the man in red pants replied. "I thought it was Superman who couldn't lie." "Well, the writers had to get that idea from somewhere, I guess." Santa mused. "In any event, if you want, you could end up on the good girl list by being rather naughty." She stared at him. "So; get laid by Santa for Christmas?" He shrugged. "There might be some other goodies in the bag for you, but I think we both know what Ginny really wants and needs for Christmas." "This is crazy, this is crazy, this is crazy!" she thought to herself, wrestling with her sensibilities. "If this is all just a dream, then I can fuck hunky Santa and have no regrets. If this is real, I can fuck sexy Santa and remember it in the morning! It's win-win!" "Well, this is super-easy," she declared. "Santa, I want you to fuck my brains out for Christmas." "With pleasure, Ginny!" he said, laughing merrily. "Whatever you like, however you want it. I have to keep the kiddies happy." "Good, but just don't say 'kiddies' anymore, because that's kinda creepy," she said, throwing her caution to the wind. She knelt down in front of him, putting her hands on the oversized silver belt buckle and undoing it. Letting it drop, she put her fingers on the front of his pants, caressing them over the crotch. Her mouth went dry. "That'd better not be a secondary present sack you're teasing me with;" Ginny hooked her fingers into the top of the velvety pants and pulled them down, revealing his cock. She drew in her breath slowly, her eyes widening. "Jesus," she muttered. "You're hung like a fat kid's Christmas stocking;" "Thanks, I make due." Santa said cheerfully, watching her admire his cock. "By the way, shouldn't I call you something else?" she asked, looking up at him while her hand reached up to take his huge shaft, wrapping around it, barely. "I mean, most people call you Santa Claus, but isn't your name Nick or Kris or something?" He shrugged again, grinning. "Nick, Kris, Klaus, Pelznickel, Joulupukki, Kanakaloka, Dun Che Lao Ren, Weihnachtsmann, Swiety Mikolaj, Hoteiosho, Jultomten, I don't mind, Ginny. I just like hearing you say my name the way you think of me." "Hmm, Santa;" she replied, smiling as she stroked her hand along his shaft, eyeing it hungrily. How the hell was she going to fit that all in her mouth, forget her aching cunt? "Ah, don't use that word," he chided, holding up a finger. "Some words are still naughty, even when you're an adult." "Stay out of my mind then, creeper." Ginny said as she leaned forward and swirled her tongue around the fat head of his cock. She flicked it around the tip and then slowly took it inside her mouth, tongue rolling against it. "The hell? How can his cock taste like mint?" "Just wait til you taste my cum." Santa said, leering. "Fine, but it better not taste like turkey gravy or we're gonna box." Ginny said as she pulled her mouth back for a moment. She pumped her hand gently along the shaft, studying her quarry intently. It was definitely the biggest cock she'd ever taken on, and the best-tasting. She'd been experiencing trippy magic all evening, maybe she could fit this monster in her mouth this one night; She put the head back in her mouth and relaxed, slowly pushing down the shaft. She moaned as she felt him slide to the back of her mouth and then to her throat. She felt him tremble and lay a huge but gentle hand on the back of her head. "Holy shit; I'm deep-throating Santa Claus;" Ginny took a deep breath through her nose and then tried to relax. Her whole body was tingling with excitement and the whole minty cock thing was throwing her off. Her tongue undulated along the underside of his shaft while the fingers of one hand formed a ring around the base of his cock and the other cupped his balls, fondling them. Ginny was proud of her cocksucking skills and if there was anyone she ever needed to impress with them (aside from her 11th Grade math teacher), it was probably Santa. She calmed herself and began pulling her mouth back along his length, humming and letting her lips vibrate softly on his sensitive skin. "Now I know why Mister Bondi gave you that A in math," Santa chuckled. "You're a very naughty girl, Virginia." "Hmm, only for you, Santa baby;" she cooed as she pulled her mouth off his cock long enough to respond, stroking slowly and swirling her tongue around the head again. She then slid back down the entire length, moaning in pleasure. She could feel her nipples getting hard and her cunt was very, very wet beneath her robe. Both his hands were on the back of her head now and holding her gently but firmly. She began to slowly bob back and forth, thrilled at how she was able to take this enormous beast of a cock all the way in her mouth. Sure, maybe there was some weird physics involved that compressed space and time or some shit, but she didn't care and he certainly didn't seem to mind. "Hmm, very good, Virginia;" he said softly, stroking her hair. No one ever called her Virginia and she didn't know why it gave her a tingle when he did. His cock was very full and very hard now, like a pulsing iron rod covered in mint-flavored velvet. She almost giggled at the thought of how crazy this all was. She really hoped it wasn't a dream. Her thumb began to squeeze along the underside of his cock as her hand followed her mouth up and down his length. The shaft glistened wetly and the mint was making her drool. She undid her robe and let it fall away, the air of the room kissing her flushed skin. Her hands now took hold of his powerful thighs and she began moving back and forth along his cock more quickly. She could feel his hands flexing in her long, dark hair, caressing her skin. Breathing through her nose, she moaned as she sucked ardently, her cunt almost aching with desire. She was hoping he would last long enough to fuck her when he went rigid suddenly and groaned, gripping her head tightly and his hips shuddering. Ginny's eyes widened as she felt him began to cum inside her mouth, spurting strongly. She began swallowing hastily, almost in a panic as Santa pumped his hips against her face. "Holy shit! Fucking eggnog?" He kept cumming and she was sure she might actually drown when he pulled his huge cock out of her mouth and pumped it furiously in his hand, spattering her tits and stomach with his glistening load. She'd never seen so much cum in her life. It tingled on her skin. Finally, Santa relaxed, allowing Ginny to put her mouth back around his cock and suck the rest of his cum from him. He was sighing and breathing rather heavily, apparently having enjoyed himself. She eventually released him and smiled up at him wickedly. "So," she cooed, winking while she gently pumped his cock with her hand. "Am I back on the good girl list?" "Oh, I'd think so," he said, grinned. "But it's not like I've given you your whole present yet." "Jeez, you can still go?" she asked almost in disbelief but also delighted. She really needed to be fucked hard now. "Your cock taste like mint, your cum tastes like nog, your ass probably tastes like hot cocoa or nutmeg and you can keep it up all night?" "Up all night is kind of my thing, at least once a year." Santa said cheerfully. "So how would you like for me to give you the rest of your present, Virginia?" "Well, golly, Santa," she mused, making a show of thinking while she stroked his cock. "Since you seem to be the gift that keeps on giving, how about we just wing it?" He nodded and she stood up, keeping hold of his cock and gently led him over to the large chesterfield, hoping it would hold his rather muscular frame. She knelt on it, resting her arms along the raised back and smiled at him, wiggling her behind. She wouldn't believe how wet her cunt was. "You gonna hurry down my chimney, Santa-baby?" she asked, smiling slyly. "I can't believe you just said that!" he laughed jovially. He may not have been older, fatter Santa, but the laugh still definitely suited him. He stepped up behind her and took gentle hold of her hips. She could feel him press against her ass and she shivered in anticipation. He slid his massive cock up and down between her ass cheeks, teasing her until she was writhing in desperation. He seemed to know instinctively what she loved most. Which only made sense, since he was Santa. "Ready, Virginia?" he asked as he pressed the huge mushroom head against her sticky cunt. She nodded eagerly, unwilling to speak. He slid the head in, parting her lips and penetrating her. She groaned loudly as he began to stretch her inner walls. With a slow, steady push of his hips, he pushed the entire length of his cock deep inside her. It robbed her of her breath, she'd never felt so full in her life, even that one time she'd been so horny she'd fucked her parent's bedpost. "Ah; uh;" she gasped, eyes wide. The sensations were like nothing she'd ever experienced. His cock completely filled her to a delightful stretch that didn't hurt except in the good way. His iron shaft throbbed in time with her heartbeat. It was wonderfully warm but also strangely cool all at once, tingling, like mint again. How the hell could her cunt taste peppermint? "Language, Virginia;" he chided again as he pressed in just a little bit further. By right his cockhead should have bruising her brainstem, but there was no doubt some weird physics shit involved that she decided not to think about. She was getting fucked by Santa, after all. She pressed her forehead against the back of the couch and tried squeezing her cunt around his titan cock or pressing back against him, squirming her ass against his hips. She shuddered in delight, loving how he felt inside her. His hands reached under her body and squeezed and massaged her tits, sending delicious thrills through her. He began to move slowly back and forth, pulling back until just the tip was inside her and pushing in steadily, almost robbing her of breath. She began to feel like a blacksmith's bellows very quickly. The feel of his cock sliding inside her, stretching her and touching deep inside in ways she hadn't known were possible; "Oh my god;" she gasped, fingers digging into the back of the couch. "You're tearing me apart and I love it;" "Only the best for my Virginia," he said, his ruddy cheeks taking on a flush tone as he fucked her. Her fingers squeezed the meat of her thighs and hips or flexed on her ass cheeks. His heavy balls slapped against her cunt as he drove inside her. Strong yet gentle, forceful and commanding yet accommodating. She felt dominated yet exalted somehow. His hand wrapped in her hair and she groaned loudly as he pulled on it, craning her neck. She shuddered in pleasure, feeling her spine almost accordion as he thrust inside while pulling her head back. Her could feel the pulse of his cock through her whole body. Her nails scratched along the couch, almost clawing it. "Uh, you're gonna make me cum so fucking hard;" she wailed, feeling the sweat forming on her skin. "Oh my gawd;" "You're going to make me cum hard too," he panted, thrusting deep inside, thumping his hips against her ass. "You feel wonderful and tight, Virginia;" "Oh, God, he's gonna cum in me;" she realized. "Santa's gonna fucking cum in me and he's not wearing anything! Will my birth control work? Shit, will my kids always smell like mint?" "Oh, God, cum in me!" she panted, thrusting herself back against him and grinding shamelessly. "Fucking cum in me, Santa!" "Ya want me to cum in you?" he hissed, his body beginning to tremble. It felt like his cock was getting bigger inside her. "Want my cum in you?" "God, yes!" Ginny squeaked, clenching her teeth. "Fucking cum in me and make me scream!" They strained against one another desperately and then she cried out as a massive orgasm crashed over her. It battered her senses as she felt his hot-yet-tingly-cool cum bathing her insides relentlessly. Her cunt was making greedy sucking sounds as she came, her whole body shuddering almost uncontrollably. She squeezed and clenched and rippled her tight tunnel round him, reveling in the way he stretched and penetrated her ever more deeply. She collapsed against the chesterfield, panting heavily, her body drenched in sweat. His massive, hard cock was still deep inside her, pinning her to him. She felt like she was made of lead, an exquisite exhaustion while pleasure crawled over her languidly. That was beyond anything she had ever experienced. But he didn't seem to be done with her. His powerful hands took hold of Ginny and turned her around so she was squatting on the couch, her knees spread wide and her arms slung across the high back. She looked up at him in weary astonishment as he nestled himself between her legs and pressed his cock against her sopping cunt again. "Ah!" she wailed as he slid deep inside her again, his huge cock splitting her wide. Her nails dug into the couch again and she clenched her teeth as she sucked in her breath. Ginny tried to regulate her breathing while Santa began sliding in and out slowly, looking down at her with those penetrating blue eyes. "Jesus," she grunted, feeling almost like a rag doll in his hands, which gripped her hips. "Gonna fucking kill me with that thing!" "Oh, let's hope not," he replied, thrusting into her strongly. "I'm nowhere near done with you." She gazed up at him, trembling as he fucked her good and hard. She bit her lip as he squeezed her thighs, before moving his hands up to squeeze her tits, pinching her nipples. She groaned shamelessly as the delicious sting electrified her senses. She tried to squeeze herself around him, baffled by how big he felt inside her. She gasped and whimpered as he slapped her cunt lightly. She reached forward and raked her nails over his powerful chest, leaving red marks along the defined muscles. She ground her hips against him wantonly, thrilling to the look of pleasure on this face. "Uh, fuckin' wreck me;" she gasped, feeling another massive climax building inside her. "Make me cum on that beautiful cock, Santa!" "I'll take 'Things Virginia Never Thought She'd Ever Hear Herself Say' for a thousand, Alex!" he laughed. He reached down and took her ass her hands and pulled her closer, smiling warmly yet wickedly into her eyes as she sank further onto his cock, which penetrated her to the deepest depths yet. She could feel the head pressing against her womb. It didn't hurt, but she felt fuller and more stretched than ever. She felt him squeeze her ass cheeks while he thrust into her. She wrapped her arms around his shoulders and held on tight, bumping up and down on his powerful thighs. She moaned loudly and bit his shoulder, trying not to shriek. She tried to squeeze herself around him again, finding that she could barely control her muscles, let alone fuck. She bit down as the warmth spread through her, tears of pleasure in her eyes. He thumped his hips against her even more strongly and they strained against one another. Then he growled and released himself, pumping her once again full of his tingling cum. She shuddered and cried out loudly, her head spinning from the unreal ecstasy. Crushing herself to him, Ginny held on desperately, like a ship battered by an unrelenting storm. They both slumped onto the couch, breathing heavily. She felt small and almost cocooned in his embrace. She was covered in a heavy sheen of sweat and could feel the thrilling tingle of his cum trickling out of her cunt. It wouldn't be a stain on her couch, it was a mark of honor. Their hearts pounded in rhythm as the orgasm passed over them and slowly flowed away. "Holy shit;" she whispered, her body still limp in his arms. "I think you've ruined me for sex. I should be mad;" "You have to admit, it makes sense that I'm better at gift-giving than anyone else on the planet." Santa reasoned, smiling and stroking her hair while she sat in his lap. "I'd say you were a little pent up there." "Mild understatement," she moaned, finally raising her head and smiling up at him. "Thank you, first of all. That was the best thing I've ever felt in my life." "I aim to please," he said cheerfully, caressing his thumb across her cheek and enjoying the shining look in her eyes. "Kinda my thing, after all." "So," Ginny purred, walking to fingers up his broad chest. "Is there a Mrs. Claus?" He shrugged. "There has been, of course." She paused suddenly and looked up at him, her smile replaced by a deadpan look. "What do you mean, there has been?" He seemed somewhat confused by her change in demeanor. "Well, there has been a few in the past, of course, there was Seeki first, then there was Ahoop, followed by Annalina, then Layla, Martha, Juliana, Gretchen and Jessica, Santarina, Kasey, Mary;" "I see," she said stonily. "You've had more wives than Elizabeth Taylor had husbands." "Well, to be fair, they've been spread over a long period of time." Santa replied. "And they were all special to me." "So then I'm not special." Ginny said flatly. "Well of course you are," he said, not understanding her mood swing. "You're my Virginia." "And Becky down the street is your Becky, and Sarah in the blue house is your Sarah and Hilda in Dusseldorf is your Hilda," she concluded. "Everyone's equally special to you, aren't they?" He didn't know what to say. "I'm sorry, I'm not being fair," she sighed. "I just; well, I thought maybe this; ya know, tonight, was truly special. And clearly you're not good at lying." "Well, no, not at all." Santa agreed, still holding her and wondering how he could comfort her. "I can't lie." "Like, literally can't?" she asked, now curious more than anything. "It's part of your genetic makeup that you can't lie?" "No, nothing like that," he admitted. "But after spending centuries with kids and teaching them to always tell the truth, I haven't tried telling a lie in so long I don't even know how to do it." "You don't know how to lie?" she mused. "If I did, it wouldn't be the least bit believable," he said. "Like, if I said right now that your breath smells wonderful and not like old eggnog and vomit, I somehow doubt you'd believe my lie." "No shit," Ginny replied, giving him a stony look. "You're a horrible liar. You've got the subtlety of a cement truck. Good thing you're Santa and don't have to date to charm a girl." He held her close, hugging her tight to comfort her. She sighed deeply, still impaled on his hard cock, which showed no sign of abating. "God, I can't believe you've still got wood after cumming like a fire hydrant three times," she said, her mood softening. She was having the best sex of her life, she reminded herself not to ruin it by being crazy. "How long can you keep going?" He shrugged his muscular shoulders. "How long do you need me to?" "Actually, it doesn't surprise me that's your answer." Ginny said, smirking. "If you've got the time, I've got another itch that needs scratching." He grinned. "So you haven't broken in that hot tub yet, have you?" "Oh, Santa;" she purred, leaning in and biting his earlobe. "Like you don't make me wet already." He picked her up and carried her toward the Jacuzzi, deftly turning it on with his foot and bringing it rumbling to life. He stepped down into the churning water, setting her one of the seats. As he stood up, she leaned forward and hungrily took his enormous cock into her mouth, sucking ardently. She moved forward and knelt in the water, her hands on his hips again or stroking his balls. He picked her up bodily and turned her upside. Ginny squeaked in surprise at first but found his hips in front of her and began sucking again on his tool without delay. He buried his face in her cunt, tongue snaking deep inside her and she groaned gutturally, Holding her in place with one powerful hand, her teased her taint and then pressed a finger into her ass. "Jesus!" she gasped, almost choking on his cock as he wormed the finger down into her tight tunnel. "Oh, fuck! Your finger is bigger than some dicks I've fucked!" She attacked his cock again eagerly, bobbing back and forth like her life depended on it. She squirmed in his grip as he lashed her cunt with his tongue and fingered her ass. Her fingernails dug into his thighs and her knees locked around his neck. His cock throbbed in her mouth, still thrilling her with its unique and incredible taste. He turned her around again and paid her on the edge of the hot tub, spreading her legs wide. She looked on wantonly as he pushed his tongue back inside her again. He gripped her thighs to hold her in place and she groaned and squirmed, squeezing her tits and pulling on her nipples. Her breath came in ragged gasps as he drove her to the limit of her sensations. Ginny shook and thrashed as she cried out loudly, cumming on his face. He didn't let up, lapping at her essence eagerly. She lay like a dead thing for several seconds before her chest began to rise and fall. Her eyes opened, gazing back at him. She couldn't feel her limbs, just floating on a tingling ocean of deep colors. Santa looked up at her and smiled, pulling his tongue out of her cunt and kissing her clit gently. She shivered at the touch. "One hole left, Santa," she breathed, her body glistening. "Got any left in you to perfect my Christmas?" "Always for you, Virginia." Santa said warmly, standing and raising her gently into a sitting position. He settled down into the water on one of the seats and then pulled her onto his lap, facing away from him. She moved her hips around until she found his rock-hard cock, waiting for her. She placed her puckered knot against it, giggling as she thought about what he was about to do to her. She took his shaft in her hand and held it steady while she sank down, very slowly. Ginny gasped and shivered as the head pushed aside the tight ring of muscle, popping inside her. Then she sighed as she lowered herself, feeling his massive cock stretching her tight tunnel wide. God, she felt so full it was unreal. Finally, after what felt like an eternity, her ass cheeks pressed to his lap. He was all the way inside her ass and her held her closed as she settled back against him, purring in sensual pleasure. "Umm, it's never felt this good in my ass before," she said softly, her arms reaching back to curl around his neck. She gyrated slowly on his lap, moaning softly. "A gal could get used to this." His muscular arms wrapped around her and caressed Ginny's body, massaging her tits. She loved how she felt pinned to him. She had finally found the measure of her body and began to squeeze her tight ass around his cock. She squirmed in slow circles on his lap, wishing she had some music to fuck him to. Her stereo system suddenly came on and began playing 'It's Cold Outside'. She giggled and squeezed his neck gently at his thoughtfulness. "You think of everything, don't you?" she purred, lost in her pleasure. "I can't wait to make you cum again." He smiled wickedly and pulled gently on her nipples, causing her to groan at the welcome sting. She pressed her ass back into his lap, squeezing again around his throbbing shaft. The water bubbled and churned around her waist, the heat leaving her skin shining. She began to pant as she moved her hips faster, stopping the circular motions and started to move up and down, his cock sliding in and out of her. Santa took hold of her hips and let her bounce on his lap. Ginny leaned forward, gasping as she fondled her tits, overcome with a liquid heat as his cock impaled her faster and faster. Water splashed around them as the fucking took on an almost frantic pace. Ginny had never felt anything in her ass like this before, nothing even close to this good. She could very easily become an addict. "Uh, fuck!" she grunted, slamming her ass down on him while one hand snaked down and began massaging her cunt and clit. His hands steadied her and helped moved her up and down. She could feel his hips trembling beneath her, his fingers flexing and squeezing her skin. Her panting became a long, drawn-out keening. She clenched her teeth, shuddering and straining as she tried to prolong the fucking; Ginny screamed and pushed herself back against his massive chest violently, thrashing as she clenched his cock inside her ass while he came. His cream flooded inside her, the unreal hot-cool tingling transporting her. He growled in her ear, almost crushing her comparatively tiny frame against himself. She collapsed, utterly exhausted, her chest rising and falling as the world spun around her. She felt him holding her gently, caressing her body in unique ways that seemed to; regulate her blood flow and nerve sensations, making the post-orgasmic bliss she was feeling last as long as possible. She felt herself smile and hum at his consideration, understanding this this is who he was and what he was meant to do. Ginny then did something she almost never did during sex, she leaned her head back, pressed her lips to his and kissed him deeply and with great affection. She held it for as long as she could and then sank back into his embrace, sighing in contentment. "Wish you were advertising for a Mrs. Claus at the moment," she said softly. "I could get used to this." "I like things the way they are," he replied, hugging her. "Every year I get to reward you for being a good girl. What could be better than that?" "True, I guess," Ginny agreed. "I'm only human, all this sex could kill me." "Hey, I'm human too, you know," he chuckled. "Just because I'm immeasurably older than you and subject to quantum laws even my smartest elf couldn't explain doesn't mean I'm a member of some other species." "Okay, that's fair, although I'd still fuck you if you were an alien or some extra-dimensional being." Ginny admitted. "You've come in me a lot tonight, daddy. Do I need to” "No," he said cheerfully. "I'm not sterile, but you can't get pregnant unless I decide you will and I've never allowed it." "I wonder what a Santa kid would be like," she mused. "More like you or the mom?" "No idea," he confessed. "There's not exactly a manual, so I've never taken a chance." She slowly leaned forward and began to rise, shivering as she slid off his long cock and it popped out of her. She knelt and turned around to face him, not sure she could stand yet, looking up at his still hard cock and giggled, pressing her finger against the head. "Well, I think you can take him off duty, sir," she said sweetly. "I'm pretty sure that I'm all fucked out for the night, if not the whole season." He chuckled and let his cock soften, looking into her eyes and caressing his cheek. "Hopefully that was what you needed for Christmas." "Definitely, Santa." Ginny said, giggling. "Is it greedy to want the same present again next year?" "Not at all," he replied, grinning. "It cuts down on elf-labor hours if I can give people a gift mysteriously." Santa paused in speaking, going silent and looking around, as if listening for something. Neither of them touched the controls, but the motor for the jets turned off and all that could be heard was the howling roar of the winter storm outside. Ginny looked at him in confusion, wondering why his features hardened and a scowl crossed his normally jovial face. "That's no storm," he said in a low, growling voice. "Not a regular one, anyway." "What does that mean?" she asked, his reaction worrying her for reasons she couldn't readily explain. What the hell was a 'not regular' storm, according to Santa, or anyone else for that matter? He stood up and strode out of the hot tub, taking her by the hand and pulling her out with him. Their naked bodies glistened with water but this was the farthest thing from her mind. "What's going on?" she asked, his consternation beginning to frighten her now. She watched as he tossed her the robe she'd been wearing earlier and then started pulling on his pants and sturdy black boots. "It's just a winter storm! Isn't it?" "I wish that were true," he replied, his expression grim. "Listen to me very carefully, Virginia. I'll need you to follow me instructions precisely. Do you understand?" She nodded. "Okay, but” "Good," he said, cutting her off, his eyes flashing. "It's very important to your safety." "Can you at least tell me what's happening?" she pleaded. "Krampus." Santa muttered darkly as he wrapped bright red straps around his wrists, tightening them. "I should've been more careful." "What's Krampus?" she asked, going pale and she paused in putting on her robe, one of her tits hanging out. "Krampus isn't a what, Krampus is a who," he said, his eyes scanning the layout of her expansive living room. "He's also called Black Pete in some places and legend says he's supposed to be my evil henchman who punishes wicked children." "I take it that's not true, then?" she asked, looking around like he did, wondering what he was searching for. "Not even close," he growled. "Pardon my French, but Krampus is an evil sonofabitch. He was, at one time long ago, my dedicated helper, but he turned down the path of darkness, becoming twisted and diabolic. Forget punishing children, he wants to destroy Christmas, like it never happened." "What's that got to do with us here?" she asked, trying to keep her voice from trembling. "Can he reach us in this storm?" "This storm is his doing, I recognize it now," Santa said, striding over to his huge Christmas bag and beginning to rummage in it. "A massive storm always precedes his arrival. It can be mistaken for a regular winter storm if you're not paying

A festive catch up with Pete Waterman. Lots of tips for keeping poinsettia and a guide to extending the life of your Christmas tree once it's in your house too. Beer and vodka are both involved! Festival giggles and a sing song are a given.Follow us on Instagram and Facebook. We'd love to hear from you too! If you have suggestions for topics or features you'd like to hear, or any garden related questions you have, drop us a line at thehappygardenpodcast@gmail.com. It would be fab if you could rate us and leave a review too if you've got the time, many thanks! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

We're heading back to Lincroft, New Jersey with Coach Mike Tursi, head cross country coach at Brookdale Community College, fresh off a Top-10 finish at the 2025 NJCAA DIII National Championships in Fort Dodge, Iowa.

You sent the text. Now you're spiraling. Rereading it. Analyzing their response time. Convincing yourself you said too much, came on too strong, ruined everything. You're not crazy. You're not broken. You're running on outdated childhood wiring—and it's time to update the code.In this raw solo episode, Raj shares his personal journey from crippling relationship anxiety after a nine-year relationship to finally feeling secure in love. No fluff. No generic advice. Just the actual map he walked to heal patterns of self-abandonment, people-pleasing, and the constant fear of saying the wrong thing.In this episode, you'll discover:→ Why your anxious attachment isn't a flaw—it's a child frozen in your nervous system between ages 4-7→ The reason meditation and talk therapy alone can't heal relationship anxiety→ How the wiring you developed to survive childhood is now sabotaging your adult relationships→ The counterintuitive truth: you can't heal attachment wounds alone because you didn't get them alone→ A simple reframe that transforms how you relate to your anxiety (hint: it involves compassion, not control)→ The exact script Raj uses to communicate vulnerability without self-abandoning→ Why risking losing the other person is actually the path to keeping them→ What becomes possible when you finally stop operating from outdated programmingYou're not too much. You're not too needy. You're carrying pain that was never yours to hold in the first place. This episode is your permission slip to put it down—and your roadmap to relationships that actually feel safe. Listen now and take the first step toward secure love.Connect with Raj:Newsletter – Sign up here: https://www.rajjana.com/staygrounded/Website: http://www.rajjana.com/Instagram: @raj_janaiTunes: https://podcasts.apple.com/rs/podcast/stay-grounded-with-raj-jana/id1318038490Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/22Hrw6VWfnUSI45lw8LJBPYouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@raj_janaLegal Disclaimer: The information and opinions discussed in this podcast are for educational and entertainment purposes only. The host and guests are not medical or mental health professionals, and their advice should not be a substitute for seeking professional help. Any action taken based on the information presented is strictly at your own risk. The podcast host and their guests shall have neither liability nor responsibility to any person or entity with respect to any loss, damage, or injury caused or alleged to be caused directly or indirectly by information shared in this podcast. Consult your physician before making any changes to your mental health treatment or lifestyle. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode, Damien speaks with filmmaker Christopher, the creator of Princess Hally and the Jester, a groundbreaking ultra-low-budget fantasy feature made with a hybrid workflow of green screen, virtual production, traditional VFX, and AI-enhanced imagery.Christopher shares how he went from NYU Tisch to building an animation studio, mentoring artists who would later work on Avatar and with Christopher Nolan, and ultimately pioneering new methods of independent filmmaking.Highlights From the ConversationEarly Beginnings: From birthday-party camcorder experiments to applying (twice!) to NYU Tisch.Film School Insights: NYU in the early 2000s — shooting on 16mm, learning craft over tech, and being ahead of the digital curve.First Company Success: His Nashville-based interactive animation studio where future Oscar-level talent got their start.The Birth of Princess Hally and the Jester:Conceiving a classical fairytale inspired by Technicolor films like The Wizard of Oz.Shooting an epic fantasy for under $100k — often as a literal one-man crew.Convincing actors the project wasn't impossible (many initially thought it was).Managing set builds, lighting, and performances inside a garage turned green-screen stage.AI + VFX Hybrid Workflow:Completing 600 new VFX shots in 30 days with no crew.How AI expanded existing handmade work rather than replacing it.Why this approach will likely become the norm for independent and studio filmmaking alike.Casting & Performance:Building the relationship between Princess Hally and Henry.Working with actors who sometimes never shared the stage in real life due to the shooting constraints.Challenges on Set:A near-disastrous second day of filming.Emotional moments of doubt — and how the director's wife kept the production alive.Sound recording issues leading to 90% of the film being looped in post.The Role of Family:Christopher's wife made every costume — essential for elevating the world-building.Tools for Indie Filmmakers:Emphasis on Unreal Engine 5, Maya, freelance marketplaces, and early experimentation with AI prompts.Where Independent Film Is Headed:How YouTube, TikTok, and gaming have shifted audience habits.Why indie filmmakers will soon match studio visuals thanks to evolving tools.What's Next:A new period adventure film in early development.Hopes of working with a full crew after this one-man epic.

Did you know there's MAGIC in your Meditation Practice? Say Goodbye to Anxiety and Hello to More Peace & More Prosperity! Here Are the 5 Secrets on How to Unleash Your Meditation Magic https://womensmeditationnetwork.com/5secrets Join Premium! Ready for an ad-free meditation experience? Join Premium now and get every episode from ALL of our podcasts completely ad-free now! Just a few clicks makes it easy for you to listen on your favorite podcast player. Become a PREMIUM member today by going to --> https://WomensMeditationNetwork.com/premium As we look upon the landscape,  That's painted in our view, The colors, the elements, the life.  We can see so clearly,  Our pure loves and desires, The beauty, the depth, the wild.  PAUSE These moments of clarity,  Soon dissolve and fade, As we walk through our daily lives. Our egos tug at the reigns, Guiding us with fear,  Convincing us our dreams are lies.  PAUSE It's easy to settle in, To the scripts we've been shown, Detailed instructions for living.  But deep down inside, Our soul remains clear, These scripts have so much missing. Join our Premium Sleep for Women Channel on Apple Podcasts and get ALL 5 of our Sleep podcasts completely ad-free! Join Premium now on Apple here --> https://bit.ly/sleepforwomen Join our Premium Meditation for Kids Channel on Apple Podcasts and get ALL 5 of our Kids podcasts completely ad-free! Join Premium now on Apple here → https://bit.ly/meditationforkidsapple Hey, I'm so glad you're taking the time to be with us today. My team and I are dedicated to making sure you have all the meditations you need throughout all the seasons of your life. If there's a meditation you desire, but can't find, email us at Katie Krimitsos to make a request. We'd love to create what you want! Namaste, Beautiful,

Tell us what you like or dislike about this episode!! Be honest, we don't bite!Professional heavyweight boxer Johnny Fisher joins Matt for a raw conversation about mindset, discipline, pressure, and the business behind modern boxing. From debuting in a pitch-black COVID venue to building one of British boxing's most commercially powerful fanbases, Johnny shares the psychological and strategic realities of the sport that most fighters never talk about.Johnny breaks down the fear no boxer admits to, not fear of being hit, but fear of underperforming, and how he channels pressure into performance. He explains why commercial value now matters just as much as skill, and how fighters build careers through branding, storytelling, and audience connection. This episode is packed with insights that apply far beyond boxing: mindset, consistency, personal branding, and the ability to perform when it matters.Whether you're building a business, growing a personal brand, or pushing for the next level in your career, Johnny's mentality and process offer a masterclass in discipline, entrepreneurial success, and performance growth.What We Discuss:Johnny's journey from debuting during COVID to becoming a fan favourite in British boxing.The mindset of a fighter: confidence, fear, belief, and performance under pressureThe real fear in boxing, not getting hurt, but not performing to your standard.Why commercial value matters: brand, visibility, storytelling & fan engagement.Training discipline: twice-a-day fight camps, nutrition, routine & sacrifices.Joshua vs Ngannou, Fury analysis & heavyweight predictions from inside the sport.Timestamps:(00:00) “I can stop him in one round” — power, belief & confidence(00:06) Johnny's 2021 debut — no fans, full pressure, and the COVID fight experience(00:14) The psychology of weigh-ins and the “I'm going to kill you” mentality(00:20) Convincing yourself you have the tools to win(00:21) How he eats, trains & prepares (including the famous Big John Chinese)(00:28) Fight camp intensity — twice-a-day sessions & discipline(00:35) Fear: why underperforming is the real danger(00:40) The business of boxing: followings, fame & commercial value(00:51) Joshua vs Ngannou, Fury talk & the state of the heavyweight divisionResources & Links:Instagram @johnnyfisher1Follow No Bollocks:YouTube: Stripping Off PodcastInstagram: @stippingoffwithmatthaycoxNewsletter: https://nobollockswithmatthaycox.beehiiv.com/subscribeEnjoyed this episode? Please subscribe to Stripping Off with Matt Haycox and leave a ★★★★★ review on Apple Podcasts or Buzzsprout – it really helps others discover the show!

Kainani Stevens, John Oehser and Brian Sexton are live for a Victory Monday Jags A.M. to discuss the Week 13 win over the Titans and the biggest plays and players of the game. Later, the crew dishes out hot takes for the team heading into a very important Week 14 game against the Colts.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

# The Little White Lies Parents Tell Their KidsEver wonder why your parents rushed you out of events at intermission claiming "the show is over"? In this hilarious episode, our hosts dive into the creative deceptions parents use to manage their children. From the classic "intermission exit strategy" to telling kids that lobsters are "bugs" so they won't want to try them, we explore the amusing contradictions of teaching honesty while bending the truth. The conversation reveals how these harmless fibs cross generations as today's parents find themselves recycling the same creative stories.## Timestamps and Key Takeaways:**2:05** - The intermission escape trick: Convincing kids the show is over halfway through to beat traffic and save money*Takeaway: This clever parenting hack has been passed down through generations***4:30** - Food-related lies: From "lobsters are bugs" to "coffee stunts your growth"*Takeaway: Parents often use health concerns to discourage kids from adult foods***7:15** - Bizarre health warnings: The eye-booger myth and watermelon seed explosions*Takeaway: Many childhood fears came from these creative but completely fabricated dangers***9:45** - The classic "starving children" guilt trip and other mealtime manipulation*Takeaway: Food waste prevention tactics often involved questionable global comparisons*If you've ever told your child a little white lie to make your day easier or found yourself repeating the same fibs your parents told you, you'll find yourself nodding and laughing throughout this episode. Listen now to join the conversation about these universal parenting shortcuts and maybe pick up a new trick or two!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Get your NORD VPN plan here: ⁠https://nordvpn.com/toon⁠ Try it risk-free now with a 30-day money-back guarantee!! --- Newcastle United have FINALLY won on the road in The Premier League. They've beaten Everton 4-1 on Merseyside. Here is Lee Ryder's verdict. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

What does it take to unseat a 20-year incumbent? Raj Goyle — fresh off his successful campaign to ban smartphones in New York schools — returns to Firewall to discuss why and how he's running for state comptroller. First step: Convincing voters that the often overlooked position has untapped power to make real progress on affordability.This episode was taped at P&T Knitwear at 180 Orchard Street — New York City's only free podcast recording studio.Send us an email with your thoughts on today's episode: info@firewall.media.Be sure to watch Bradley's new TED Talk on Mobile Voting at https://go.ted.com/bradleytusk.Subscribe to Bradley's weekly newsletter and follow Bradley on Linkedin + Substack + YouTube.

Convincing traders to pay $2 for $1 of bitcoin worked — for a while. As premiums evaporate, an unwind could be painful. Originally published on November 25, 2025.

On today's episode, Andy answers your questions on how to navigate the situation when your family doesn't understand your ambition and drive, how to inspire change in unmotivated close ones, and how to build bulletproof systems to support a fast-growing business.

Are sins related to homosexuality worse than other serious sins? You might think so from how the Church and many well-meaning believers address the topic. Too often, people experiencing same-sex attraction are treated like modern-day lepers. So how should we actually talk about it and how do we support those who struggle?What can their experiences teach us about our own wounds and the ways human longing can be misdirected? Therapist Michael Gasparro and ministry leaders Andrew Comiskey and Kim Zember share how their past struggles with same-sex attraction became a path to deeper healing and intimacy with God.In this episode, you'll discover more about who you are, how to live compassionately, and how God designed our bodies and relationships for healthy, life-giving intimacy.Michael's channel: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UkD3oHy6WeEKim's ministry: https://boldlybeloved.com/Andrew's ministry: https://www.desertstream.org/Join our new Patreon community! https://patreon.com/lilaroseshow - We'll have BTS footage, ad-free episodes, and early access to our upcoming guests.A big thanks to our partner, EWTN, the world's leading Catholic network! Discover news, entertainment and more at https://www.ewtn.com/ Check out our Sponsors:-Angel Studios: https://angel.com/lila Join the Guild to vote on future blockbuster films, access all of Angel's films and shows, and even get free tickets to upcoming releases. -Seven Weeks Coffee: https://www.sevenweekscoffee.com Buy your pro-life coffee and save up to 25% with promo code 'LILA' & get up to four FREE gifts this Christmas season: http://www.sevenweekscoffee.com-Cozy Earth: Better Sleep, Brighter Days - Get the highest quality sleep essentials for 40% OFF at https://cozyearth.com/lila!00:00:00 - Intro00:07:53 - Kim's background00:13:26 - We all long for Jesus00:21:10 - Reintegration vs Conversion Therapy00:30:25 - What is psychologically "normal”?00:37:22 - What is 'order'?00:40:22 - Science and Intelligible Patterns00:45:24 - LGBTQ Label and Fr Martin 00:57:27 - False Hope01:04:18 - Power of Identity01:07:13 - Convincing children to sexualize their attractions01:08:58 - New study on 'coming out'01:11:37 - Lila opens up:01:17:25 - Homophobia01:31:42 - Best resources for Christians?

T. Christian Helms is the creative force behind Helms Workshop, a branding agency based in Austin known for crafting bold, character-driven brands. He's a designer, writer, speaker, and former Pentagram-er who once designed a logo in a Burger King bathroom (yep, really).In this episode, Christian and Nicholas Kuhne dive into why design without thinking is dead, how to build a brand that makes people feel something, and what separates a pretty logo from a movement. If you've ever been frustrated by clients picking the “safe” option, or wondered whether brand agencies still matter in an AI-driven world – this is the one to queue up.

Wayne tested flight insurance over a single weekend with a WordPress site and Google ads. When people tried to pay, he showed a fake error message. The result: 15.9% conversion. That validation led to Sure, now powering insurance for Tesla, Toyota, and MasterCard. But the journey was brutal. Wayne worked solo for a year, burning through savings in San Francisco. Flew to South Africa for 7 weeks to land his first insurance partner. The real breakthrough came 4 years later, in 2019, when Elon tweeted about Tesla insurance—instant rocket ship growth. Today Sure is the rails for embedded insurance, like Visa for credit cards.They raised $120M but haven't needed money since 2021 because they've been profitable since their Series B. Why You Should Listen:How to validate an entire business in a weekend. Why he worked solo for a year before raising money or hiring anyone.The exact playbook for pivoting while keeping your old product alive.How one Elon Musk tweet created instant product-market fit.Keywords:startup podcast, startup podcast for founders, Sure, Wayne Slavin, embedded insurance, InsurTech, product validation, bootstrap to profitable, Tesla insurance, B2B pivot00:00:00 Intro00:01:48 The flight to Vegas that sparked a $120M insurance company00:03:03 Building a fake insurance product in one weekend to test demand00:11:00 Working solo for a year while burning through savings00:14:43 Flying to South Africa for 7 weeks to land first insurance partner00:19:58 Convincing 5 friends to quit their jobs00:27:56 Pivoting from mobile app to embedded insurance00:46:03 Elon's tweet creates rocket ship growth overnightSend me a message to let me know what you think!

The Lakers finished off the road trip on the second night of a back-to-back in Milwaukee as they faced off against the Bucks. And with one of their most complete first halves of the season, the Lakers behind Luka Doncic (41 points, 9 rebounds, 5-11 from 3), Austin Reaves (25 points, 5-9 from 3), and Deandre Ayton (20 points, 10 rebounds) got up to a 31-point lead in the first half and kept it in double digits as they cruised past the Bucks 119-95. Check in with the guys as they talk about the game, LeBron's impending return, and what lies ahead for the Lakers in the coming days against Utah. They also go into the OXperiment as Joe Soro shares thoughts with the guys on the Lakers, Dodgers, and College Football. They also discuss the latest report from The Athletic on 10 Lakers employees giving over their phone records in accordance with the NBA, as they dig deeper into more gambling allegations. The World-Famous LFB Postgame and Joe Soro OXperiment collide as part of another great Lakers Weekend right here on the Lakers Fast Break podcast!Check out Yaron Weitzman's book, "A Hollywood Ending: The Dreams and Drama of the LeBron Lakers," which you can buy today on Amazon at https://tinyurl.com/y344ckmjFollow @DripShowshop for some awesome sports merchandise!Check out Dodgers baseball on Playback at https://www.playback.tv/thejoesorooxperimentJoe's new game Coreupt is OUT NOW! Wish List it here: https://store.steampowered.com/app/23... Lakers Fast Break now has YouTube memberships! Join today at / @lakersfastbreak and for just $2.99 a month, you get access to LFB badges and emojis, channel page recognition, and more! Check out Stone Hansen on Twitter @report_court, Alfred Ezman @alfredezman, and John Costa's channels: Clutch Talk- / @clutchtalkpod and Lakers Corner- / @lakerscorner and Legend350 on his new channel / @sportslegend2018 Special Deals today from our friends at #temu today at https://temu.to/m/u1samwbo8cc use code: aca785401 and you might save some $$$ at TEMU! Take a look at the line of Kinhank Mini PC's and retro game machines today at https://www.kinhank-retrogame.com?rs_ref=e8NA2Rm2 for some gaming and computing fun from Kinhank! Don't forget to watch the Lakers games with us LIVE at playback.tv/lakersfastbreak and our newest Lakers Fast Break merchandise site is now up at ⁠http://tinyurl.com/yerbtezk check it out! Please Like, Share, and Subscribe to our channel and our social media @lakersfastbreak on Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, Twitch, on BLUESKY at @lakersfastbreak.bsky.social, e-mail us lakersfastbreak@yahoo.com or catch our audio of the Lakers Fast Break today at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://anchor.fm/lakers-fast-break⁠, Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or your favorite podcast outlet! The views and opinions expressed on the Lakers Fast Break are those of the panelists or guests themselves and do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of the Lakers Fast Break or its owners. Any content or thoughts provided by our panelists or guests are of their opinion and are not intended to malign any religion, ethnic group, club, organization, company, individual, anyone, or anything. Presented by our friends at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠lakerholics.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠lakersball.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Pop Culture Cosmos⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Inside Sports Fantasy Football⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Lakers Corner, @DripShowshop, ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠SynBlades.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, I Got Next Sports Media⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Happy Hoarder⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, and ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Retro City Games!

Imagine an Anarcho-libertarian future wherein philosophy, reason, and science prevail. The cathedrals of corruption looming over every nation, governments have been replaced by direct democracy on an unhackable blockchain. And with the absence of the state, perverse economic incentives, monopolies, and dogma in healthcare. In that future, will traditional allopathic medicine and healthcare be relegated to the dustbin of history and replaced entirely by frequency medicine?That's the question I explore with Dr. Zulia Frost. I interview the woman behind the Flexbeam, my favorite red light therapy device, and Clinical Director of Recharge Health. She is a world-renowned expert in neuromodulation and photobiomodulation. Her professional profile is distinguished by three decades of direct patient care - blending Western medicine with traditional modalities (Chinese Medicine and Acupuncture) and rigorous academic training, providing an authoritative lens through which to examine the burgeoning field of wearable photobiomodulation.1:22 About Dr. Zulia Frost3:48 Will allopathic medicine be replaced by frequency medicine?6:35 A case for optimism about the future8:13 Her story - a wounded healer12:53 Traditional chinese medicine and acupuncture22:04 Red light therapy cofactors24:48 Recent red light therapy science30:16 Red light therapy for sleep33:06 Red light therapy vs S.A.D.36:09 Methylene blue and red light therapy39:24 Parenting questions: red light therapy for babies (and boobies)?45:58 My experience with the FlexBeam51:45 The Recharge Health community53:15 Convincing the stubborn (and suffering) to try alternative medicine?58:06 Rant on subscription-servicization of Biohacking productsRead

Across the United States, discarded food too often ends up just rotting in landfills. But one company in California is harnessing the power of data to make sure those valuable nutrients don't go to waste.Clemens Stockreiter is the Founder and CEO of RE:CIRCLE Solutions, a company transforming pre-consumer food byproducts into sustainable animal feed ingredients. He's spent more than two decades leading recycling and circular economy businesses, including as CEO of PreZero US and CFO of Sky Plastic Group. Today, Clemens joins us to break down how RE:CIRCLE is using science and technology to close the loop on food waste, and build data-driven circular food economies. Highlights:What does RE:CIRCLE do? (1:43)Complexity of organics recycling (2:57)RE:CIRCLE's Ontario Facility (3:59)De-packaging (4:57)California sustainability requirements (5:47)RE:CIRCLE's TraceOS system (7:19)Convincing grocers to participate (8:48)Dealing with different types of food waste (9:43)'Copy and Paste Scalability' (11:03)What's next for RE:CIRCLE? (12:37)The future of circular waste systems (13:34) Links:Clemens' LinkedInRE:CIRCLE LinkedInRE:CIRCLE WebsiteICR LinkedInICR TwitterICR Website Feedback:If you have questions about the show, or have a topic in mind you'd like discussed in future episodes, email our producer, joe@lowerstreet.co.

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In this Fan Favorite episode of the Second in Command Podcast, Cameron Herold speaks with Anna Collins, President and COO of Bulletproof, the globally recognized brand behind Bulletproof Coffee, supplements, and biohacking products designed to help people perform better, think faster, and live healthier lives. She is also a Board Member of Ladies Who Launch.Before joining Bulletproof, Anna led multi-billion-dollar businesses at Amazon, Microsoft, and CVS Health, bringing a data-driven, operational mindset to every stage of growth. In this conversation, she reveals how she helped Bulletproof evolve from a niche “biohacker” brand into a household name—streamlining operations, tightening focus, and scaling omnichannel distribution without losing its visionary edge.Anna also shares her leadership principles, from managing a founder with 100 ideas a day to running metrics-driven weekly business reviews that keep innovation grounded in reality. Her insights bridge the gap between entrepreneurial chaos and corporate discipline, showing how great COOs turn vision into execution.Timestamped Highlights[00:00:00] – Cameron introduces this episode as one of the most downloaded in show history.[00:01:14] – Anna's career journey: from Microsoft and Amazon to joining Bulletproof.[00:03:52] – Why she left Amazon Prime for a mission-driven brand.[00:05:36] – What convinced her Bulletproof wasn't just a fad—but a real performance enhancer.[00:06:23] – Partnering with Dave Asprey: defining roles between visionary and operator.[00:07:18] – The challenge of narrowing focus when everything looks like a good idea.[00:08:54] – Bringing Amazon's frameworks—tenets, principles, and data mechanisms—into Bulletproof.[00:10:07] – How structure helped Dave trust the team and delegate.[00:10:26] – Shutting down international markets and cutting SKUs to simplify growth.[00:11:59] – Expanding into Amazon marketplace and corporate distribution channels.[00:13:28] – Convincing the founder to “grow beyond the core biohacker.”[00:17:00] – Managing an idea-rich founder without stifling creativity.[00:18:37] – Anna's leadership philosophy: define reality, create possibility, say thank you.[00:21:00] – Rebuilding Bulletproof's vision, mission, and values for clarity and culture.[00:24:20] – Weekly Business Reviews: the data-driven rhythm behind execution.[00:30:32] – How Anna divides her focus across key stakeholders—customers, team, and growth.[00:36:35] – Simplifying the Bulletproof brand for mainstream accessibility.[00:38:00] – Where she struggles as a leader—and the balance between speed and empathy.[00:42:33] – The advice she'd give her 21-year-old self: don't take it all so seriously.About the GuestAnna Collins is the President and COO of Bulletproof overseeing strategy, operations, and omnichannel growth for the globally recognized biohacking brand. Previously, she led billion-dollar initiatives at Amazon, where she managed global Prime membership programs, and at Microsoft, where she built the search advertising business from concept to $1.6B in revenue. She is also a Board Member of Ladies Who Launch.A Harvard MBA and transformational leader, Anna specializes in building scalable systems that bridge creative vision with operational discipline. At Bulletproof, she's helped expand the company from its core biohacker audience to a broader wellness market—making human optimization accessible to everyone.

Jordan Tigani, CEO and cofounder of MotherDuck, knows what world class infrastructure looks like. He spent years building Google BigQuery before taking those lessons into the startup world. In this episode, he breaks down why building infrastructure products is fundamentally different from typical SaaS and why founders who don't understand that difference are in for a painful surprise.What You'll LearnThere are no shortcuts in infrastructure. You can't just wire together existing open source components and call it a product. Real infrastructure requires contributing meaningfully to the state of the art, and that takes time, money, and deeper technical investment than most founders expect.Starting with startups, not enterprises, is often the smarter play. Early stage infrastructure companies should target other startups first because they're more comfortable with bleeding edge tech, have lower security barriers, and won't force you to spend three engineers building custom auth instead of your actual product.Scaling down is the new scaling up. Jordan saw pressure at SingleStore to make databases smaller and more efficient, not just bigger. That insight led to MotherDuck, which is built on DuckDB—a database that can run in a car, scale to massive cloud instances, and challenge the coordination overhead of legacy distributed systems.Bottoms up engineering cultures win in infrastructure. At BigQuery, engineers close to customer problems could ship fast and independently. Jordan's recreating that at MotherDuck by removing layers between engineers and customers, because creative problem solving requires understanding business constraints, not just technical ones.Convincing people you can scale is half the battle. The best proof is customers who look like your next target and can vouch for you. Next best is real data and benchmarks. If you don't have those yet, lean on implementation support and help prospects test at scale themselves. Early on, sometimes all you have is your word.Timestamped Highlights[01:22] Why infrastructure takes longer to build than typical SaaS products and why there's no shallow way to do it[06:57] The MVP dilemma: finding product market fit when enterprises demand reliability from day one[11:44] Lessons from BigQuery and SingleStore—what to carry over from big tech and what to leave behind[21:21] The gap in the market that led to MotherDuck: why distributed databases don't scale down and why that matters now[26:10] Redefining scale: why 100 users on one giant instance isn't necessarily better than 100 auto scaling individual instances[29:08] The hierarchy of proof: from customer testimonials to benchmarks to trust me, it'll workA Line to Remember“If you really want to build an infrastructure product, you can't just string existing components together. You actually have to contribute meaningfully to improving the state of the art.”Stay ConnectedIf this breakdown of infrastructure startups resonated with you, subscribe so you don't miss future episodes. And if you're building in this space or thinking about it, connect with Jordan on LinkedIn. He's committed to paying forward the help he got as a founder.

Ike, Spike and Fritz open up thew show by discussing the latest regarding Myles Garrett trade rumors and try to convince Howie Roseman to trade three first round picks for the Browns star edge rusher.

In a season of Stillness, but I'm still here. ❤️‍

Ike, Spike and Fritz open the show by organizing an intervention for Jack to get him to give the Eagles and Jalen Hurts a clean slate.

Fans of Off the Record may recall my recent episode with Chris Petrilli, Director of Revenue Cycle of Operations at NYU Langone, who joined me to discuss his experience delivering a TEDx Talk on artificial intelligence. Chris was well prepared and delivered a great lecture, which you should definitely check out on YouTube. And on the podcast he sang the praises of a coach brought in to prep him and other NYU Langone staff for the big day on the big stage. My wheels started to spin, I reached out... and landed that coach for OTR.  Susanna Baddiel is an actress, director, voice over artist and TEDx Speaker Coach. She works in both the UK and the US and is a founder member of Actors Shakespeare Company where she continues to act, direct and coach. She has more than 17 years of experience teaching public speaking, personal impact, presentation skills, leadership development, and executive coaching. It was my honor to host her in a bit of an offbeat show than the usual mid-revenue cycle topics. But I picked up a few pointers about public speaking that helped me, and I think you will too. This special episode kicks off November, a month in which I'll be taking a deep delve into provider engagement. Odds are if you're trying to engage providers you'll have to present or educate, and Susanna offers some great advice and practical tips and takeaways. On this show we cover: Her background as an actress in Britain, transition into coaching, and eventually working with niche clients in science and medicine Working with the team at NYU and Chris Petrilli—preparing them, building them up, and getting them ready for the big day. Why preparation is everything in public speaking, as is gratitude for the opportunity Balancing authenticity vs. general principles of good presentation The differences between in-person and presenting on camera. Susanna offers some GREAT suggestions for being better on Zoom. Books and other resources Susanna recommends 

​Mike Matthews investigates the fascinating news from the week so far and Mike answers what is happening in the odd world of protein. Join Mike as he podcasts live from Café Anyway in podCastro Valley with Benita, the Disgruntled Fiddle Player, and the Brewmaster. Next show Mike Talks to Madame Rootabega, Valentino, and Bison Bentley.

​Mike Matthews investigates the fascinating news from the week so far and Mike answers what is happening in the odd world of protein. Join Mike as he podcasts live from Café Anyway in podCastro Valley with Benita, the Disgruntled Fiddle Player, and the Brewmaster. Next show Mike Talks to Madame Rootabega, Valentino, and Bison Bentley.

The Cincinnati Bearcats took down the Baylor Bears in convincing fashion, giving UC their 7th straight win and setting up a potential conference title game with BYU at Nippert Stadium. This show is presented by Martino's on Short Vine. Swing by Martino's!   Cincinnati Dominates Baylor in Convincing 41-20 Victory, Extends Win Streak to Seven. In a display of offensive firepower and defensive resilience, No. 21 Cincinnati dismantled Baylor 41-20 on Saturday afternoon at Nippert Stadium, solidifying their status as a Big 12 contender. Quarterback Brendan Sorsby orchestrated the Bearcats' attack with surgical precision, tossing two touchdown passes and scampering for another score himself. The victory propelled Cincinnati to 7-1 overall and a perfect 5-0 in conference play—their seventh consecutive win, a streak not seen since their magical 2021 run to the College Football Playoff. For Baylor, the loss dropped them to 4-4 (2-3 Big 12), exposing vulnerabilities in a game where they started ice-cold but mounted a gritty comeback that ultimately fell short. The Bears trailed 24-0 at halftime, a deficit that felt insurmountable against a Cincinnati squad that's feasted on early momentum all season. Yet, Baylor's Sawyer Robertson, the nation's passing yards and touchdown leader entering the day, refused to fold, engineering a third-quarter surge with two aerial strikes and a sneaky rushing touchdown to claw back within striking distance at 27-20.Cincinnati's fast start set the tone, much like their previous blowouts. The Bearcats' opening possession chewed up 81 yards over 11 plays, methodically marching downfield behind a balanced attack. A third-and-long pass interference call on Baylor's secondary gifted Cincinnati a crucial first down, keeping the chains moving. The drive culminated with running back Tawee Walker's 1-yard plunge into the end zone, igniting the home crowd and putting the Bearcats up 7-0 just over five minutes in. Walker, who finished with a game-high 102 rushing yards, exemplified Cincinnati's ground-and-pound philosophy under head coach Scott Satterfield. Baylor's defense responded with fire, stuffing Cincinnati on third down and forcing a punt. But the Bears' offense sputtered on their ensuing drive, plagued by a third-down sack that sent punter Isaiah Johnson shanking a boot from deep in their territory. Seizing the short field, Cincinnati pounced with a 66-yard, 10-play clinic. Sorsby spread the ball efficiently, mixing checkdowns with intermediate routes, before handing off to Evan Pryor for a 5-yard touchdown burst. The score swelled to 14-0, and the Bearcats' sideline erupted— a stark contrast to Baylor's frustrated huddle. The half's turning point arrived courtesy of a Baylor blunder. Wideout Josh Cameron hauled in a contested grab but couldn't secure the ball, coughing it up on a bone-jarring hit from Cincinnati's secondary. The Bearcats' special teams scooped the fumble and returned it deep into Baylor territory, setting up Sorsby's 6-yard dart to speedy slot receiver Cyrus Allen. With 2:34 ticking away in the second quarter, the rout was on: 21-0 after the extra point. Baylor managed a field goal before the break, but the damage was done. Cincinnati entered halftime owning time of possession (18:42 to 11:18), total yards (212-89), and every momentum swing. The second half brought Baylor's pulse back. Robertson, limited to a measly 137 passing yards—his season low—against Cincinnati's swarming front seven, found his rhythm post-intermission. He connected with tight end Garrett Wolfe for a 22-yard score on a third-quarter fade, slicing the lead to 24-7. Moments later, a 15-yard keeper by Robertson himself knifed through the defense, making it 24-14 after the two-point conversion. The Bears' sideline buzzed with belief as they forced a three-and-out, setting up a 28-yard laser to Drake Dabney that trimmed the margin to 27-20 early in the fourth. For a fleeting moment, Nippert Stadium held its breath—could Baylor's aerial wizardry flip the script? Enter Sorsby, the dual-threat dynamo who's become Cincinnati's X-factor. Facing a 12-play, 75-yard odyssey that consumed over seven minutes of clock, he dissected Baylor's depleted secondary. A mix of Walker's power runs, Sorsby's designed keepers, and precise underneath throws bled the Bears dry. The payoff? Sorsby's electric 23-yard touchdown scamper, his fourth jaunt of 20-plus yards this season, sealing the 34-20 advantage with six minutes remaining. Baylor's final gasp—a late field goal—proved cosmetic, as Cincinnati tacked on a backbreaking 4-yard touchdown run by Corey Kiner to ice the 41-20 final. Defensively, the Bearcats were masterful, sacking Robertson thrice and limiting Baylor to 289 total yards. Linebacker Malik Grant's strip-sack in the fourth nearly sparked another turnover, but Cincinnati's ball security (zero giveaways) was the real story.

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10-22 Dirty Work Hour 2: Warriors get convincing win vs Lakers: does it change your opinion of Jonathan Kuminga? Plus Sam Amick on the W's outlook for the season See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Paul confronts the false apostles and reveals what true gospel leadership looks like. Learn how to spot deception and follow the real thing.

We are taking a short break, so in the meantime we are bringing back some of our most memorable episodes. In this one, Kat opens up about considering a BBL and Latisha does her best to talk her out of it. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In episode 1934, Jack and Miles are joined by comedian and producer of the monthly Facial Recognition Comedy show, Pallavi Gunalan, to discuss… Meta’s New AI Glasses Not Only LOOK Like Sh*t... They Also Functionally Suck Sh*t, Kash Patel Helping Keep The Epstein Story Alive and more! Meta’s New AI Glasses Not Only LOOK Like Sh*t... They Also Functionally Suck Sh*t Kash Patel Helping Keep The Epstein Story Alive SWALWELL: If you don't know how many times Trump's name appears in the Epstein files, it could be at least 1,000 times Crockett: You are the least qualified FBI Director in history. Charlie Kirk, Redeemed: A Political Class Finds Its Lost Cause LISTEN: Minute papillon by World BrainSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Was there ever life on Mars? Planetary scientists think there could have been but there hasn't been any direct evidence. After years of roaming Mars, NASA's Perseverance rover saw spots on Mars rocks. These spots could be the most likely clue that Mars had organic life millions of years ago. Host Regina G. Barber speaks with recent PhD graduate and planetary scientist Hemani Kalucha. She explains why the size, shape and color of these spots – as well as the location of these rocks on Mars – point to ancient life.Interested in more science behind skincare products? Email us your question at shortwave@npr.org.Listen to every episode of Short Wave sponsor-free and support our work at NPR by signing up for Short Wave+ at plus.npr.org/shortwave.Learn more about sponsor message choices: podcastchoices.com/adchoicesNPR Privacy Policy

The internet enjoys a brief freakout about the possibility that Trump might be dead. (He isn't.) Senators from both parties press RFK Jr. on his dismantling of the CDC and his accelerating war on vaccines. Survivors of Jeffrey Epstein hold a press conference on Capitol Hill to announce that they plan to release a list of Epstein's clients. Jon and Dan discuss the latest news and trace the through-line of Trump's authoritarian impulse from his attack on a Venezuelan speedboat to his renewed threats to strip Rosie O'Donnell of her citizenship. Then, Strict Scrutiny's Leah Litman joins Jon to talk about how the Trump administration might respond to a recent string of defeats in federal court.For a closed-captioned version of this episode, click here. For a transcript of this episode, please email transcripts@crooked.com and include the name of the podcast. Get tickets to CROOKED CON November 6-7 in Washington, D.C at http://crookedcon.com