Podcasts about mmmmm

Canadian PM insults Nitwit Nero to his face. Nitwit Nero is too far gone to even understand. Posse Comitatus is dead now. Martial Law on the Southern Border. MAGAT judge notes an American citizen has been deported, then sweetly licks Daddy's boot. Mmmmm, boot! Secretary HotMama gets grilled-n-schooled on Capitol Hill. Workers lose NIOSH protection. Anyone who doesn't speak English loses tornado warnings.   Head-ON with Roxanne Kincaid – May 6, 2025 Roxanne broadcasts live from WV with signature wit and fury. She covers everything from her upcoming CT scan travel plans to a sweeping critique of the current U.S. administration—mocking "Nitwit Nero" and railing against threats to democracy, human rights, and safety. Topics include: Canada's PM Mark Carney rejecting U.S. annexation talk, calling out the President's delusions. Real ID's creepy rollout and the erosion of constitutional travel rights. DHS stonewalling on due process and deporting a U.S.-born toddler to Honduras. MAGAT-appointed judges and unconstitutional fund withholding by the executive branch. Translation cuts at the National Weather Service leaving immigrant families vulnerable. Layoffs gutting NIOSH and halting worker safety certifications. New military zones at the border and migrant deaths rising in El Paso. Speculation on a third term via a 22nd Amendment loophole. Escalating India-Pakistan tensions and the U.S.'s waning global credibility. A blue wave in Texas local elections rejecting MAGAT extremists. Shocking prison deaths at Marcy Correctional and rare guard convictions. Sharp critiques of Abbott, Rand Paul, Mitch McConnell, and Trump's mental decline. Plus: movie recs, listener banter, glue jokes, and Vatican conspiracies. Password: carney. New call-in #: 844-THE-HORN. Show airs Mon–Fri, 5–8 PM EDT. Roxanne needs ~$700 to meet May's goal—support matters. https://www.headon.live/contribute/

Magic Sword, but you probably know it by it’s much more common name, Mmmmm-agicsword. We gather the power of the blackorb and use it call forth a brand new guest hold, one whom is well versed in all magics and swords most fowl – Xalnop! He has been a fan of this game from far … Continue reading → The post Ep. 814 – Magic Sword (M…! Ah! Gic Sword) appeared first on TADPOG: Tyler and Dave Play Old Games.

(00:00-33:54) A glorious weekend in st. Louis sports. Sending the Twins a-packing. Torpedo bats. Doug's got the Cardinals winning it all. Youngry is everywhere. No credit though. Doug's tired of all this taxation without representation. Raised on print journalism. Marc on the phone lines with a scorching hot Jordan Binnington take. Mmmmm, Clorox. Heck of an ending in Colorado. 9 in a row for the boys. (34:02-51:44) Texas Tech melting down late against Florida. Chalky Final Four. TMA Walrus Number One checking in with a Youngry story for us. Bar-K. Rough connection. Jobu is 2025's Gloria. Audio of Binner talking about Jobu's speech. Gerbil on the line with a navy cap nugget for Tim. Where's the bullpen in the bedroom? (51:54-1:04:15) Yankees doing some raking in the Bronx with their new torpedo bats. Poor Nestor Cortes. Get your text name changes ready for tomorrow. Be gentle. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoicesSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

(00:00-33:54) A glorious weekend in st. Louis sports. Sending the Twins a-packing. Torpedo bats. Doug's got the Cardinals winning it all. Youngry is everywhere. No credit though. Doug's tired of all this taxation without representation. Raised on print journalism. Marc on the phone lines with a scorching hot Jordan Binnington take. Mmmmm, Clorox. Heck of an ending in Colorado. 9 in a row for the boys. (34:02-51:44) Texas Tech melting down late against Florida. Chalky Final Four. TMA Walrus Number One checking in with a Youngry story for us. Bar-K. Rough connection. Jobu is 2025's Gloria. Audio of Binner talking about Jobu's speech. Gerbil on the line with a navy cap nugget for Tim. Where's the bullpen in the bedroom? (51:54-1:04:15) Yankees doing some raking in the Bronx with their new torpedo bats. Poor Nestor Cortes. Get your text name changes ready for tomorrow. Be gentle. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This week Devo brought coffee! What's that? He didn't bring enough for everyone? Well, that's just great. Not to worry, Silly Stu can pick us up some from Micky D's. Meanwhile, the great Luke Ski discovers that all roads lead to chicken! And The Consortium of Genius is cookin' up some barbecue. Mmmmm, smells good! 1. "Chicken!" by the great Luke Ski 2. "Zombie Apocalypse Barbecue Live at FuMPFest 2024" by Consortium of Genius 3. News of the Stupid! 4. "McDonald's in the Pentagon" by Silly Stu The great Luke Ski is at thegreatLukeSki.com The Consortium of Genius is at ConsortiumofGenius.com Silly Stu is on YouTube Thank you to our Patreon backers for making this show possible!!!

Recipe: 1-1/2 cup rice cereal 1 cup chocolate chips1/2 tsp. salt1/4 tsp. vanilla extract1/4 cup corn syrup1/2 can of 14 oz sweetened condensed milk1/2 cup light brown sugar1/2 stick of unsalted butter(Over medium heat.)1. Melt the butter in the pan. 2. After the butter is melted, add the brown sugar, and stir continuously until melted together.3. Add the condensed milk and corn syrup, and mix well. Let it sit until everything is combined. (~4 minutes in the video)4. Add salt and vanilla5. Turn off the heat6. Add the cereal, stir well7. Transfer to the lined/greased pan8. Sprinkle more chocolate chips over the top, and leave them to melt (~5 minutes), then spread the chocolate to cover the whole thing. 9. Let cool/harden for 3 hours, and then cut and serve! *** HAPPY HOLIDAYS! ***Amazon MP3https://www.amazon.com/s/ref=ntt_srch_drd_B01BAXDICM?ie=UTF8&field-keywords=GentleWhispering&index=digital-music&search-type=ssGoogle Play MP3https://play.google.com/store/music/artist/Gentlewhispering?id=Apc4txglf3f2siowzgqccttky5i&hl=enSpotify MP3https://play.spotify.com/artist/3gkB9Cdx4UuWQxjhelyd87?play=true&utm_source=open.spotify.com&utm_medium=openiTunes MP3https://itunes.apple.com/us/artist/gentlewhispering/id1077570705#see-all/top-songshttps://itunes.apple.com/us/artist/maria-gentlewhispering/id1048320316Disclaimer: *** This video is created for relaxation, entertainment and ASMR/tingles/chills inducing purposes only. For more information about ASMR phenomenon please click here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Autonomous_sensory_meridian_response This video cannot replace any medication or professional treatment. If you have sleep/anxiety/psychological troubles please consult your physician. Thank you :) ***PayPal (Donations): https://www.paypal.com/cgi-bin/webscr?cmd=_s-xclick&hosted_button_id=RA5K2GG7687VJ Email: MariaGentlewhispering@gmail.com11/25/14

Hour 2 of A&G features... Trump tariffs & the economy Man shot outside of White House Fentanyl coming over the Canadian border Elon's ladies & the Bernie Sanders trans rally See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hour 2 of A&G features... Trump tariffs & the economy Man shot outside of White House Fentanyl coming over the Canadian border Elon's ladies & the Bernie Sanders trans rally See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

GUESTING STARING CHARLES TELLING US ABOUT A SEXY BLACK DADDY MASTER AND CUMMING WITHOUT TOUCHING THAT COCK.. MMMMM!JOIN US!

Warning: This post contains satire. Proceed with extreme caution. Side effects include bouts of critical thinking and unintended laughter. If you find yourself taking it too seriously, please consult with your doctor immediately.In the hottest hell of our imaginations, two Fascists and a Communist escape into a corner bar, the Barbarossa.The black-haired man with a tiny caterpillar mustache sits in an empty booth. He is Adolf Hitler, known to his people as Mein Fuhrer. A shorter man with a thicker, fatter mustache sits at a table in the middle of the room. He is Joseph Stalin, known as Comrade or Generalissimo. And the third man doesn't know where to sit. Barrel-chested and wide-eyed, with a cleanly shaven face—no mustache—he is Benito Mussolini, known to his people as Il Duce.“Sit, Benito,” Hitler says, pointing to the bar. Mussolini does as he is told.A tiny woman with straggly grey hair flying everywhere appears but does not make eye contact with the three dictators. She hovers and awaits her orders, pulling on her white apron. Quivering in fear, she admonishes her considerable sins and accepts her fate.“What are we drinking?” Stalin says.“Tea for me in a porcelain cup,” says Hitler. “And something sweet. Pralines!”“I will just have the usual,” Mussolini says.“Same for me,” says Stalin.The woman scurries back into the darkness and emerges moments later with a bottle of vodka, a tall glass of milk, and a saucer of pralines, which she places before Hitler. He rubs his hands together excitedly like a schoolboy. “Mmmmm, my favorite!” Says Hitler, “But where's the tea!” The woman startles and nods furiously but must first place the vodka on Stalin's table with a shot glass and then finally serve Mussolini his tall glass of milk.As the wench turns to leave, Hitler stews. It's taking too long. He pounds his fist on the table, and the woman races off.“That's always been your problem, Adolf. You are too impatient,” Stalin says, pouring himself a glass. “Impatient and impulsive.”Hitler scoffs. “Enjoy your ‘water,' Joseph. Do you think we're that stupid?”The cursed woman returns, taking care not to spill the cup of hot tea on Hitler as she carefully places it before him. Hitler dismisses her with a wave.“Water,” Stalin says, “How would you ever know, even it was?”“We're already bored of your little tiresome games,” Hitler says.Now, Mussolini pounds his fist on the bar. “Will both of you SHUT UP? We have urgent business to attend to.”Hitler and Stalin share a look. Then, both break into giggles.“WHAT is so funny if I may ask?” Mussolini says.“You, uh, have a bit of a milk mustache, Benito; it looks like mine!” says Stalin.Mussolini slides his sleeve across his face, wiping off the milk, but remains defiant.“Stop laughing, Adolf!”Hitler covers his mouth to try to keep from laughing.“Ha Ha real funny,” Mussolini says. “I used to drink milk for breakfast. Now, It's for my stomach. A terrible ulcer.”“Settle down, Benito,” Hitler says. “We did not gather here to discuss your dietary preferences.”“You're one to talk,” Mussolini says. “Maybe if you'd laid off the sugar, you might have—” This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit sashastone.substack.com/subscribe

Ep. 260, Recorded 2/18/2025. Weather or not. Mixon it up. Todd gets Technical. DinoToddlers Gettin it Done. This ad is pretty Gouda. Mmmmm… beaver. Live, from the undisclosed! Car yoga. Transporters. 

So.... please take a close look at the episode art and tell me if you see anything funny? Mmmmm hmmmmmm. Apparently it took us a YEAR to notice. I blame all of you, frankly. You know what you did. You've been listening to: Pete Barry as Bob Tim Sherburn as Colin and Emily Bonnie Brantley as Donna David S Dear as Dr. Theo Bromae and Tiberius Eric Perry as Howard, Joe, and Mr Southers Kevin Hall as Greg and Felonius Sarah Golding as Mrs Sheffield Shannon Perry as Olivia Sarah Rhea Warner as Pipistrelle Kyle Jones is your Narrator Two, and Chris Nadolny Gourley is your Narrator. John Faley is our music director, and our artwork is by Lucas Elliott. Oz 9 is written by Shannon Perry. Sarah Golding is our dialogue editor, and Mark Restuccia is our sound designer. Oz 9 is a proud member of the Fable and Folly Network. Please check out our sibling shows at fableandfolly.com and support our sponsors. Until next time, Space Monkeys, keep your chins up. It's far more flattering. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Mike Ferguson in the Morning 12-23-24 (7:05am) Governor-Elect Mike Kehoe talks about his agenda when he takes over as governor of Missouri on Monday, January 13, 2025. (7:20am) Another pandemic on the horizon? USDA says to watch out for bird flu. Mmmmm...where have we heard this story before? Do not comply. Story here: https://missouriindependent.com/2024/12/20/how-america-lost-control-of-the-bird-flu-setting-the-stage-for-another-pandemic/ (7:35am) Missouri Rep. Justin Sparks talks about his campaign for Speaker of the House vs. Jon Patterson. (7:50am) Do you prefer travelling to other cities to visit relatives over the holidays or would you rather have them visit you? This Christmas will probably see some record-breaking travel statistics. NewsTalkSTL website: https://newstalkstl.com/ Rumble: https://rumble.com/c/NewsTalkSTL Twitter/X: https://twitter.com/NewstalkSTL Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/NewsTalkSTL Livestream 24/7: bit.ly/NEWSTALKSTLSTREAMSSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

MMmmm, The Orgasmic Potato Technique made you curious, right? Leave it to a seasoned copywriter to make you look! Kim Kiel, a seasoned copywriter & brand voice expert with over 17 years of experience, unleashes her expertise today. Because... Even though AI has become our friend and may keep us from starting at a blank page… Writing GREAT copy still requires your brain. And there's no need to feel intimidated or put it off one more minute. Kim shares her recipe for writing tantalizing sales copy that gets your prospects begging for more with a cheeky, fun approach. Listen to learn how to lead your audience through a sales journey, from getting to know you to red hot & ready to buy. We chatted about: -When it's time to work with a copywriter -Copywriting trends & common copywriting mistakes you can avoid -Her favorite framework formulas that help you capture your audience's attention and let your unique voice come through -Learn Kim's practical wisdom to create compelling copy without the overwhelm. PLUS: Get access to Kim's "Sales Copy Scorecard" to assess and elevate your own copy here at https://www.kimkiel.com/scorecard Find Kim here: Website: www.kimkiel.com Instagram: www.Instagram.com/kim_kiel_copy LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kimkiel/ Ill Communication Podcast: www.kimkiel.com/podcast And THANKS for leaving a review if you enjoyed this podcast! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Mmmmm...catalogs. Is there anything better to arrive in the mail? Sears. JC Penney. Spiegel. Consumer Distributors. J Peterman. Even The ToysRUs Look Book. Missy takes us down mail-order memory lane as a sweet antidote to the daring political discussion of early voting in our two battleground states. Then, it's Tom Hardy's dog's voice. Subtitles. And a fullsome dissection of the Netflix hit Nobody Wants This. Super bouncy this week, Dear Listener. Give us a play. You won't regret it!

Mmmmm… Tuna is delicious. Mmmmm-mm! And bluefin tuna is very delicious! 黑鮪魚太好吃了。 Bluefin tuna fish are big. They can be from one and a half meters to three meters long! They can weigh from sixty kilograms to four hundred fifty kilograms! 黑鮪魚身體巨大，牠們可以從1.5到3公尺長，60到450 公斤重 ! In Taiwan, fishermen are very good at catching bluefin tuna. That's great! They can catch all of these fish! But wait a minute! What about next year? There won't be any bluefin tuna! 台灣的漁夫很會捕撈黑鮪魚，他們可以把黑鮪魚全部抓完。等等! 要是都被抓完了，明年怎麼辦? Well, that won't happen. Taiwan has a rule. Two thousand tons of bluefin tuna can be caught every year. Then Taiwan's fishermen have to stop catching these fish. 好險這件事不會發生，因為台灣有規定，每年只能捕撈總共兩千噸的黑鮪魚。 This year, fishermen caught two thousand tons very fast! Everyone was surprised. Some fishermen wanted to catch more. They can get lots of money for bluefin tuna. But they had to stop. 今年，漁夫很快就補到了2000噸，他們很驚訝，雖然很多人想要多抓幾條來賺錢，但他們必須停止。 Taiwan's rule is smart. Now these fish can grow bigger. They can have more babies. And every year, fishermen can catch bluefin tuna again. 這項規定很聰明，沒有被抓的魚會長更大，生出更多鮪魚寶寶，這樣就一直可以有魚捕。 We can have delicious bluefin tuna for many years now! _______________________________ Vocabulary 黑鮪魚可以捕撈，但是必需有上限，不能超過。 fish 魚。 I'm going to the Bluefin Tuna Festival next year! 我明年要去黑鮪魚節! A festival of fish? 魚的節慶? Sounds like fun.聽起來很好玩。 delicious 美味的。 Are you going fishing? 你要去釣魚嗎? I wish. No, I'll just be there to eat the fish. 我希望去呢! 但我只是去那兒吃魚。 Must be pretty good. 一定很美味。 It's delicious! 非常好吃! lots of 很多。 You've been there before? 你以前去過? Yeah, I have. In Pingtung.去過，在屏東。 Did you pay lots of money for it? 有花很多錢嗎? want 要。 For the fish? Not at all.花錢吃魚嗎? 完全沒有。 I only paid for the souvenirs I wanted.我只花錢買了我要的紀念品。 Lucky you! 太幸運了! 你也想嚐嚐黑鮪魚的滋味嗎? fish魚 delicious美味的 lots of很多 want要 _______________________________ Quiz 1. How many meters long can bluefin tuna be? a. Three b. Thirteen c. Thirty 2. How much bluefin tuna can be caught here every year? a. Sixty tons b. Four hundred tons c. Two thousand tons 3. Why can't all bluefin tuna be caught? a. It takes lots of money. b. There won't be any next year. c. The fish is delicious. Answers: 1. a 2. c 3. b -- Hosting provided by SoundOn

====================================================SUSCRIBETEhttps://www.youtube.com/channel/UCNpffyr-7_zP1x1lS89ByaQ?sub_confirmation=1=======================================================================VIRTUOSADevoción Matutina Para Mujeres 2024Narrado por: Sirley DelgadilloDesde: Bucaramanga, Colombia===================|| www.drministries.org ||===================16 DE SEPTIEMBRECIENTOS DE OTRAS RAZONES«Porque para mí, seguir viviendo es Cristo» (Fil. 1: 21).El pastor Craig Groeschel se reunió con un joven profundamente deprimido, que todo el tiempo pensaba en quitarse la vida. «No soy bueno en nada. Nadie me quiere. Nunca me casaré», eran las frases que salían de su boca.-Dame cien razones que tienes para vivir -le pidió Groeschel.El joven se quedó mirándolo, sin reaccionar, mientras el pastor escribía en un papel los números del uno al cien.-¿La primera razón?-No tengo ninguna razón para vivir.-Entonces, dime algo que se te dé bien -cambió de pregunta el pastor.-Escribir.-Ahí lo tienes lo reafirmó Groeschel-. Dame la número dos.-Ya se lo dije...-La número dos -interrumpió Groeschel.-La gente dice que soy muy gracioso.-¿Número tres?-Me parezco mucho a Robert Redford.-Mmmmm, pues sí que eres muy gracioso. ¿Número cuatro?Esbozando una sonrisa, el joven estaba ya comprometido con el ejercicio. El pastor iba escribiendo al lado de los números, hasta que llegaron al cien. Como el joven iba a mudarse a otra ciudad, Groeschel le recomendó consejería cristiana, le hizo entrega de la lista de «cien razones para vivir», y separaron sus caminos. Doce años después, tras una predicación, un hombre se acercó al pastor, le presentó a su esposa y a su hijo, y le entregó un papel arrugado. «Ya no lo necesito. Dios ha escrito en mi corazón cientos de otras razones», le dijo.*No sé cuál es tu estado de ánimo esta mañana; tal vez tus pensamientos no colaboran contigo en el camino de la vida y estás en guerra contigo misma, porque nos convertimos en aquello que pensamos. Virginia Wolf escribió que «no se puede encontrar la paz evitando la vida»; por eso, escoge la vida como camino hacia tu paz mental y espiritual. La Biblia te regala una promesa: «Dios te dará su paz, que es más grande de lo que el hombre puede entender; y esta paz cuidará tu corazón y tus pensamientos por medio de Cristo Jesús» (Fil. 4: 7). Eso es lo que necesitas: darle a Dios la oportunidad de obrar en ti, ayudándote a cuidar de tus pensamientos por medio de Cristo. Ahora quizás no lo puedes visualizar, pero esa paz de Dios te alcanzará, y escribirá en tu corazón cientos de otras razones.«Ama la vida que tienes, para poder vivir la vida que amas». Hussein Nishah.* Craig Groeschel, Desintoxicación espiritual (Miami: Vida, 2013), pp. 71-73. 268 

Mmmmm, night old pizzaSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

In this episode we address common questions about salt in horses' diets. Dr. Rambo discusses the different types of salt available, such as Himalayan salt, table salt, and sea salt, and emphasize that plain white salt is the most economical and effective option. Additionally, we explore whether to offer salt in block or loose form, how much to add to a horse's diet, and the importance of salt in maintaining hydration. Dr. Rambo also debunks myths related to salt intake and leg swelling in horses, and provide guidance on what to avoid when choosing salt products. For personalized equine feeding plans, listeners are encouraged to reach out through various contact methods provided. You can learn more about these topics by visiting our expertise page HERE If you have any questions or concerns about your own horse, please contact us HERE This podcast was brought to you by Tribute Superior Equine Nutrition

Thank you, as always, to our producers and Best Friends Forever, Baximus and RidiculousHat. Join our Discord at https://discord.gg/hfnusHESupport our pod at https://www.patreon.com/SquelchSquelch merch is available at http://tee.pub/lic/534BeDt5B70Podcast episodes available at www.squelchcast.comThe Gaming BlenderCould you design a video game?Listen on: Apple Podcasts SpotifySupport the Show.Contact: http://linktr.ee/squelchcast

Black Soldier Flies Fight Climate Change Many people eat pork and chicken. Pork comes from pigs. Chicken comes from… well, chickens! Pigs and chickens eat lots of corn, soy, and fish. 很多人會吃豬肉跟雞肉，而豬跟雞吃很多玉米、大豆跟魚。 We need lots of big corn farms, soy farms, and fish farms to feed them. But these farms are bad for our land, air, and water. They make climate change worse. 所以要餵豬跟雞，我們需要很多玉米田、大豆田跟魚類養殖場，但是這些農場對土地、空氣跟水都不好，讓氣候變遷惡化。 But a company in the UK is fighting climate change with soldiers … black soldier flies! The company helps farmers and others make fly farms. Fly farms are better for the environment than corn, soy, and fish farms. But, who eats flies? Yuck! 有一間英國公司想要用黑水虻 (m?ng ㄇㄥˊ)來對抗氣候變遷。他們幫農夫打造養殖場，因為它比種玉米、大豆以及養魚還要環保，但是誰要吃呢? Pigs and chickens eat fly larvae. Larvae are good food for these animals. Scientists found that pigs grow better! Their pork is also better! Mmmmm! 豬跟雞會吃黑水虻的幼蟲，這些幼蟲對牠們是好的食物，科學家發現吃幼蟲的豬，長得比較好、肉質也比較好。 In fly farms, larvae eat lots of food waste. That's the food we don't eat. When it's thrown away, it makes gases. These gases make climate change worse. Larvae stop food waste from making bad gases. 黑水虻的幼蟲吃很多廚餘，這樣可以減少廚餘釋放的氣體，阻止氣候變遷惡化。 Black soldier fly farms can do so much to fight climate change! ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Vocabulary 科學家想出各種辦法來延緩氣候變遷。 1. pork 豬肉 。 What are you having? 你要吃什麼? I think I'll go for the grilled pork chop with potatoes. 我想要選烤豬排加馬鈴薯。 Oh, that sounds great! 聽起來真不錯! 2. chicken 雞肉。 And I would like to have crispy chicken with tomato salad. 我想要脆皮雞加番茄沙拉。 Yours sounds even better. 你的聽起來更棒。 3. food 食物。 Good, then we can share some of our food.那好，我們可以分享食物。 You're not on a diet, are you?你不會在節食吧? 4. eat 吃。 No, I just don't want to eat too much.沒有，我只是不想吃太多。 With me around, you really don't need to worry about that。有我在，你真的不用擔心。 今天的單字經常用到。pork豬肉 chicken雞肉 food食物 eat吃 ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Quiz 1. What do pigs eat a lot of? a. Corn b. Pork c. Chicken 2. What makes climate change worse? a. Black soldier fly larvae b. Big corn, soy, and fish farms c. The company in the UK 3. What is food waste? a. Food cooked for us b. Bad gases c. Food we don't eat Answers: 1. a 2. b 3. c

Summer of ‘65: Part 1 English boarding school boy shares a lake, and more. By Slowandeasy47 - Listen to the Podcast at Steamy Stories. The closeted life of a boy's boarding school in Yorkshire, with its Dickensian regime, and early morning runs, had ill prepared me for contact with the opposite sex. I knew the physical differences of course, Harrison Marks and Health and Efficiency were the sex educators for boys in the early nineteen sixties. So what did we know way back then. Well, Health and Efficiency had ensured we knew about breasts, that they came in different shapes and sizes and they almost always involved the throwing of a beach ball at some nudist camp. How he ever managed to get those pictures in our climate completely eluded us but that didn't matter. We had pictures of breasts, or tits as we called them. The word boobs was years away in the future.It was the lower half of the pictures that failed us, the men always had their backs to the camera and the girls just had a uniform, airbrushed area between their legs. Not a pubic hair in sight, and certainly no hint of a vagina. Did girls grow pubic hair? We didn't know for sure, and what went on between their legs was a complete mystery. Actually, in the mid sixties, that was pretty irrelevant as our interest was focused on breasts. We all longed to touch one, to feel its texture and marvel at it, was it soft and squishy, or was it firm and hard? The thought of actual sex was still considered as something girls would allow only once they were married, as an unwanted pregnancy was going to ruin both your lives. It certainly never occurred to us that girls might enjoy it. By now you must be getting a picture of the public face of sex in the early sixties. Among teenage boys there was no knowledge, no porn worthy the name, not even soft core magazines, and definitely no internet. We hoped for a fumble at a party, and the absolute height of our ambition was to be allowed to feel inside her panties, but that was less likely than a moon landing then. Actually just to touch the thigh above the silken top of her stockings was the stuff of many a masturbation fantasy and masturbation was something we were quite expert at. Term had just ended and I was looking forward to the long summer holiday in my new home. While I was at school my parents had moved to a remote corner of the countryside, six miles from the nearest village and with very few other houses around. It was not only remote, it was actually an island. It all sounds very Robinson Crusoe but it wasn't really like that. Several other families lived on the island which was joined to the mainland by a causeway. There was plenty to explore and do, including an old monastery, rabbits to shoot at, if not actually hit, boats to mess about in and so on. So life for a teenage boy was pretty good and it was about to get a whole lot better. Walking over the hills one sunny afternoon I was hailed by a female voice. “Shot anything then?” “No,” I replied. “I'm much better at hitting bottles than rabbits.” And that is how I first met Jenna. Jenna was short and petite with a beguiling smile that produced dimples in both cheeks. Her very dark hair framed her boyish face and her eyes sparkled. I, of course, was just about completely tongue tied. This apparition was a girl! A girl who was chatting to me as if we came from the same planet, which in those days, we most certainly did not. Anyway, somehow I got over the shock of talking to a real girl. We introduced ourselves and over the next few weeks actually became friends. We walked over the hills together, boated together and spent a lot of time in each other's company. We were the only two youngsters, of our age group, for miles around. Late in July, Jenna suggested we take the boat to one of the many other islands for a picnic. Most of these islands could be walked around in an hour, had ruins of long forgotten farms and were simply fun to explore. A little more Robinson Crusoe, if you like. It was a stunning day with clear blue skies and the promise of being a real scorcher. I naturally, took a big towel and my swimming trunks along with our fairly rudimentary picnic. We got into our craft, which was little more than a fibreglass rowing boat with a tiny outboard engine, and put putted for about fifteen minutes to the largest of the nearby islands. I, of course, as the boy, sat at the back in control while Jenna lolled about in the bow trailing her hand in the water. I tried not to look. I tried so hard not to look, but there was an awful lot of leg on display right up to the frayed edges of her skimpy shorts, and my mind set about wondering what went on just out of my sight. What was it that was only just hidden by those shorts? I realised my thoughts were running away with me as I felt the stirring of an erection. Oh no! Fuck it, please no. Not now. Not here. So I looked around at the scenery, the water, actually anything that would take my mind of those silken thighs. It worked: just, and by the time we reached our destination my penis was behaving itself. This could have been such a disaster as Jenna was my only friend and she was really good company. She was also very self assured, which I put down to her being a couple of yeas older than me. We ‘explored' the island, wandering through the deserted ruins, wondering who lived here, when and what they did for a living. The island was so small it can hardly have provided an income. We ate our rudimentary picnic in the sun, sheltered from the breeze coming up the lough, by the corner of a ruined barn and chatted idly about nothing in particular. It was a hot sultry afternoon and I don't remember who made the suggestion, but it was agreed that a swim would be a really good idea, to cool off. The lough was hardly known for its warm waters as most of it was replaced each high tide by water straight out of the ocean, but it would certainly cool us. So we went for a swim, after modestly changing into our swimming kit with the aid of large towels and convenient walls. The water was cold: bloody cold, hardly surprising in mid July, but what had seemed like a great idea quickly turned into something of a torture session. We swam around for a while and, as expected, the water was freezing. “Bit refreshing!” Said Jenna, as she made a few powerful strokes away from the rocky shore, “in fact a little too refreshing for me.” And she struck out for the shallows again. I, not being conscious of any etiquette, got to the shore first. She struggled a bit over the larges pebbles and, as she passed me, I couldn't help noticing how much her nipples were sticking out. I'd never heard of this phenomenon before and certainly never witnessed it. I was fascinated: too fascinated. “Hey! Stop staring at my tits will you.” “I wasn't.” I lied, somewhat unconvincingly. “You were too! I saw you. Eyes out on stalks!” “No really.” I blustered trying vainly to cover my embarrassment. I had grown very fond of Jenna, in a brotherly way. OK I admit it: I fancied her but I wasn't about to ruin our friendship by being stupid. I loved spending time with her: she was so worldly, such fun to be with and now I was in danger of spoiling it all just by ogling her tits. Her rather delightful, and obviously delicious looking, tempting to touch, young tits. “Actually, I was. I'm sorry. You just took me by surprise. I'm really sorry. I'm such a wolly.” “Don't worry. It's no big deal. It's not as if I was naked or you were peeking at me getting changed or anything.” That, of course, sent the image of her standing there dripping wet totally naked, dancing through my brain. What were those lovely little breasts like to ogle or even to touch? What went on between her legs? What did a vagina look like in real life? My day dream would have had a disastrous effect on my cock had the water not been so cold. I climbed out and we dried ourselves off. We spread our towels out, side by side, on the long grass in order to warm up with a bit of sunbathing. “Anyway, it's natural to be curious,” she continued, “it wouldn't be normal not to look.” The relief at being let off the hook was enormous and I stammered something inane before she came out with. “So what do you call a man looking at a naked girl?” She continued. The brazenness of the question took me by surprise and I failed to register that it was a joke. “Don't know.” “Anything you like! He's not listening.” She chortled at her own wit and I joined in. She lay face down on her towel and unhooked the top of her bikini. This was too much, I immediately rolled on to my stomach so as not to reveal my growing excitement. “No peeking at my tits now.” “No of course not.” “Lying bastard!” “Jenna?” “Yea?” “How come you're so confident and relaxed?” “What do you mean?” “Well you just caught me ogling you and now you're making it a bit of a joke.” “Probably because you are a bit prudish.” “Prudish! Me?” “Yes you. You were ogling my tits and then tried to deny it. I've got tits, you haven't, you're curious. So what's so wrong with that. Don't think I haven't taken a peek at the front of your swimming trunks from time to time. Anyway I know things about boys from Paula.” “Paula?” “Paula is my big sister. She's six years older than me and we chat. You know girl stuff.” “Mmmm?” “Paula got married a year ago and we still chat about girl stuff.” “Mmmmm?.” “I'll tell you more, if you tell me stuff about you.” “What sort of stuff?” “Well I'll tell you about my chats with Paula if you promise to keep it a secret for the rest of your life and if you tell me, absolutely honestly, the answer to the next questions. OK?” “Sure.” I said feeling a little vulnerable but a too curious to turn down such an offer. “Paula told me that the doctor gave her the pill just before she got married and that when they went on honeymoon they did it all the time. First thing in the morning, last thing at night and several times in between. She said the feelings were fantastic and much better than just touching yourself.” I am lying on my stomach, next to a pretty girl who is, at best, half naked describing her sister's sex life. The tension was nearly unbearable. “So my question is. When you are, you know, excited and touching yourself. I mean rubbing your thingy, what do you think about?” Shocked! And trapped! She had just asked me about my fantasies, and I had agreed to play a truth game. “Do I have to answer?” I said, playing for time. “Of course you do. You promised. That was the bargain.” I summoned up my courage with all my strength. “Mostly breasts.” I said with a dry mouth. “You naughty boy. I bet you are going to rub yourself tonight and I bet my tits will feature in your fantasy.” “Sorry, but you did ask.” Ducking what could be a very awkward moment. “Paula says she rubs Dave when she's on the curse. He plays with her tits while she rubs his cock and…….er by the way what do you call it? Your cock, your dick or what?” “Harry.” I said the first word that entered my head. She burst out laughing. “HARRY! You call it HARRY!” More peels of laughter. “No not really, that was just a joke. I suppose cock or prick usually.” “Well from now on it's Harry to me.” And she dissolved into laughter again. “Just think of the fun I can have with that. I can say 'How is Harry today?' Anytime, anywhere and only the two of us will know that I'm talking about your cock. That's priceless!” “It was supposed to be a joke. You were telling me about Paula.” “Yea, well she rubs his 'Harry'.” More laughter, “till he,……….you know,………. Jizes then touches herself until she's satisfied. So next question. How often do you play with Harry?” “What?” “You heard. How often do you play with Harry! You have had two bits of information so I get two questions. Out with it: how often?” “Quite a lot.” “Quite a lot is not a number. You promised me an answer. Now give.” “Well, probably most days.” “Oh good, I'm normal then.” “What!” “Me too. So it's normal. I thought I might be over doing it, but it's such a delicious feeling I just can't resist.” This was getting out of control. I was having a conversation, with a lovely girl, both half naked, and we were discussing our masturbation habits: bizarre. “Have you ever sunbathed in the nude?” I was definitely not ready for this question. “No, I haven't.” “Well you really out to. It's such a wonderful feeling having the sun on your bare skin, particularly your bum. I do it all the time by our pool. "We could do it now, staying on our stomachs of course. I mean you have a bum and I have a bum. Bums are just bums after all, not particularly interesting.” “I'm not sure that's a good idea.” I croaked, lying on my now full blown erection thinking that Jenna's bum would be far from 'not very interesting.' “Cowardy, cowardy custard. I tell you what, I'll take my bottoms off first if you promise me, on you honour, you will do it too.” And she slipped her thumbs into her bikini bottoms and eased them over her buttocks, such taught, firm, exercised, firm buttocks, and somehow got them off without revealing anything more intimate. “Your turn!” “Hang on. I never agreed to this.” “Well you didn't disagree: so you agreed. Now off with them or I'll tell Paula what a spoil sport you are.” This was my first introduction to the somewhat woolly area of female logic. I knew I had agreed to no such thing, but she was lying there naked, admittedly face down, but naked, and I found the idea very stimulating, and so did my errant cock, who found the whole experience extremely erotic. I followed her example and slipped my trunks down to my knees, having struggled to get the waist band over the rather obvious protrusion. I shifted sideways, back towards her, to complete the task and dropped onto my stomach as quickly as possible: stark naked and with the firmest, most rigid erection of my young life. “Good, isn't it?” She said and I had to admit that the warmth of the sun on my bum was a truly delicious feeling: so wickedly naughty. “You know what happens next, don't you?” By this time I was getting truly concerned as to what might happen next. A few years later and with more experience, I would have been delighted with this situation, but this was my first encounter with a naked girl and I have to admit I was petrified, but in a most enjoyable way. Without waiting for an answer she continued. “We go skinny dipping!” My jaw must have fallen a foot because she burst out laughing. “Oh your face! What a picture! Only joking, but the look on your face was priceless. I told you you were a prude.” Before I could muster my thoughts I fell straight into the trap. The words “I am not a prude.” Escaped my lips just as I realised what I had said. “Prove it!” “How?” “Show me Harry,” she chortled. “I will not!” “Prude!” “Well you're a prude too, lying there face down.” I retorted. “Not at all. I'll roll over if you roll over!” And I'd just fallen into another trap but it was my turn to seize the advantage. “You first!” I thought I'd gained the upper hand, but it was short lived. “No both together. On the count of three we both roll right over, as quickly as we can, back onto our tums. There will hardly be time to see anything: OK?” “Er……” “Prude!” “No. No. OK.” “One, two.” “No, stop. Stop. I'm not ready. Give me a second or two. Er……OK” “One, two, THREE!” The next few seconds seemed to last a lifetime and are emblazoned on my memory for ever. The swiftest of rolls presented me with a view of my first real pair of tits. Oh such beautiful, magnificent tits. Small, pert, little tits, that were to become my favourite shape and size for ever. Such is the power of that first encounter. A much more impressive surprise however, was the mass of pubic hair, dark brown, curly hair in a perfect triangle, that concealed the secrets at the join in her thighs. How I managed to register this much information in the time available is a credit to the power of human observation, but register it did. I was so intrigued by the whole spectacle that I temporarily forgot about my own nakedness. My teenage penis sprang free from the safety of its lair between my stomach and the ground and with all the enthusiasm that only a teenage penis can muster, pointed proudly skywards to the full scrutiny of Jenna's curious gaze. The exposure, mercifully, was short lived as I completed the roll over on to my stomach, trapping my errant member once again between the ground and my stomach. Jenna was the first to react with a characteristic chortle, but my teenage brain was still trying to compute what it had seen. The flashes of breast and pubic hair caused all my reproductive urges to go into overdrive and without so much as a touch a familiar feeling mounted in my groin. I knew what was about to happen and had no way of controlling it. The feeling intensified rapidly and I ejaculated violently into my towel. I still remember the intensity. I had had orgasms before, but only through masturbating. This was on a whole new level: the sensation was indescribable and within seconds my cock, having done the job nature intended it to do, shrank back to its flaccid state. You may recall that Jenna and I had taken a small boat to a nearby island for a picnic. Jenna is older than I, and much more worldly wise, because I had been closeted in a boys boarding school. Jenna was the first person from 'planet girl' I had really ever got to know. Somehow we had wound up sunbathing naked, face down of course, when Jenna trapped me into exposing myself while she did the same. By the time I was face down on the towel again I had seen my first real pair of tits, my first glimpse of female pubic hair and the whole experience had been too much for my teenage brain. I had ejaculated into my towel, with some considerable force, and was now lying on my flaccid cock in a damp patch of semen. “Are you OK?” She asked. “Yea fine,” I lied. “You just look worried all of a sudden.” “No I'm fine, honestly.” “I suppose we ought to be getting back.” And she wriggled into her bikini bottoms, fastened her top behind her back, stood up, picked up her towel and flicked me on the bum with it. “Ouch!” “Come on then, get Harry tucked away, and let's go.” I managed to get decent somehow, without exposing my obvious problem, and we puttered back towards home in our tiny craft. “That was a great afternoon.” She said,“ I really enjoyed it, and it was such fun to see your face when I suggested skinny dipping!” “Yes, well I'm glad you weren't serious.” “Are you really?” She said with that cheeky smile that showed off her dimples. “I bet you'd really enjoy it if you tried it. I do it all the time at home, it's such a delicious feeling. Just like the nude sunbathing but ten times better.” “Maybe next time.” I said with more confidence than I felt. “Ha ha!” Was all she said as we pulled in to the slipway where the boat was kept. We tidied up, turned the little boat upside down against the hedge to keep the rain out, and put the tiny outboard motor in the boat house. As we said our goodbyes she leaned forwards and gave me a peck on the cheek. I think I even blushed. “I really did enjoy it,” were her parting words. To be continued.. By Slowandeasy47 for Literotica

Summer of ‘65: Part 1 English boarding school boy shares a lake, and more. By Slowandeasy47 - Listen to the Podcast at Steamy Stories. The closeted life of a boy's boarding school in Yorkshire, with its Dickensian regime, and early morning runs, had ill prepared me for contact with the opposite sex. I knew the physical differences of course, Harrison Marks and Health and Efficiency were the sex educators for boys in the early nineteen sixties. So what did we know way back then. Well, Health and Efficiency had ensured we knew about breasts, that they came in different shapes and sizes and they almost always involved the throwing of a beach ball at some nudist camp. How he ever managed to get those pictures in our climate completely eluded us but that didn't matter. We had pictures of breasts, or tits as we called them. The word boobs was years away in the future.It was the lower half of the pictures that failed us, the men always had their backs to the camera and the girls just had a uniform, airbrushed area between their legs. Not a pubic hair in sight, and certainly no hint of a vagina. Did girls grow pubic hair? We didn't know for sure, and what went on between their legs was a complete mystery. Actually, in the mid sixties, that was pretty irrelevant as our interest was focused on breasts. We all longed to touch one, to feel its texture and marvel at it, was it soft and squishy, or was it firm and hard? The thought of actual sex was still considered as something girls would allow only once they were married, as an unwanted pregnancy was going to ruin both your lives. It certainly never occurred to us that girls might enjoy it. By now you must be getting a picture of the public face of sex in the early sixties. Among teenage boys there was no knowledge, no porn worthy the name, not even soft core magazines, and definitely no internet. We hoped for a fumble at a party, and the absolute height of our ambition was to be allowed to feel inside her panties, but that was less likely than a moon landing then. Actually just to touch the thigh above the silken top of her stockings was the stuff of many a masturbation fantasy and masturbation was something we were quite expert at. Term had just ended and I was looking forward to the long summer holiday in my new home. While I was at school my parents had moved to a remote corner of the countryside, six miles from the nearest village and with very few other houses around. It was not only remote, it was actually an island. It all sounds very Robinson Crusoe but it wasn't really like that. Several other families lived on the island which was joined to the mainland by a causeway. There was plenty to explore and do, including an old monastery, rabbits to shoot at, if not actually hit, boats to mess about in and so on. So life for a teenage boy was pretty good and it was about to get a whole lot better. Walking over the hills one sunny afternoon I was hailed by a female voice. “Shot anything then?” “No,” I replied. “I'm much better at hitting bottles than rabbits.” And that is how I first met Jenna. Jenna was short and petite with a beguiling smile that produced dimples in both cheeks. Her very dark hair framed her boyish face and her eyes sparkled. I, of course, was just about completely tongue tied. This apparition was a girl! A girl who was chatting to me as if we came from the same planet, which in those days, we most certainly did not. Anyway, somehow I got over the shock of talking to a real girl. We introduced ourselves and over the next few weeks actually became friends. We walked over the hills together, boated together and spent a lot of time in each other's company. We were the only two youngsters, of our age group, for miles around. Late in July, Jenna suggested we take the boat to one of the many other islands for a picnic. Most of these islands could be walked around in an hour, had ruins of long forgotten farms and were simply fun to explore. A little more Robinson Crusoe, if you like. It was a stunning day with clear blue skies and the promise of being a real scorcher. I naturally, took a big towel and my swimming trunks along with our fairly rudimentary picnic. We got into our craft, which was little more than a fibreglass rowing boat with a tiny outboard engine, and put putted for about fifteen minutes to the largest of the nearby islands. I, of course, as the boy, sat at the back in control while Jenna lolled about in the bow trailing her hand in the water. I tried not to look. I tried so hard not to look, but there was an awful lot of leg on display right up to the frayed edges of her skimpy shorts, and my mind set about wondering what went on just out of my sight. What was it that was only just hidden by those shorts? I realised my thoughts were running away with me as I felt the stirring of an erection. Oh no! Fuck it, please no. Not now. Not here. So I looked around at the scenery, the water, actually anything that would take my mind of those silken thighs. It worked: just, and by the time we reached our destination my penis was behaving itself. This could have been such a disaster as Jenna was my only friend and she was really good company. She was also very self assured, which I put down to her being a couple of yeas older than me. We ‘explored' the island, wandering through the deserted ruins, wondering who lived here, when and what they did for a living. The island was so small it can hardly have provided an income. We ate our rudimentary picnic in the sun, sheltered from the breeze coming up the lough, by the corner of a ruined barn and chatted idly about nothing in particular. It was a hot sultry afternoon and I don't remember who made the suggestion, but it was agreed that a swim would be a really good idea, to cool off. The lough was hardly known for its warm waters as most of it was replaced each high tide by water straight out of the ocean, but it would certainly cool us. So we went for a swim, after modestly changing into our swimming kit with the aid of large towels and convenient walls. The water was cold: bloody cold, hardly surprising in mid July, but what had seemed like a great idea quickly turned into something of a torture session. We swam around for a while and, as expected, the water was freezing. “Bit refreshing!” Said Jenna, as she made a few powerful strokes away from the rocky shore, “in fact a little too refreshing for me.” And she struck out for the shallows again. I, not being conscious of any etiquette, got to the shore first. She struggled a bit over the larges pebbles and, as she passed me, I couldn't help noticing how much her nipples were sticking out. I'd never heard of this phenomenon before and certainly never witnessed it. I was fascinated: too fascinated. “Hey! Stop staring at my tits will you.” “I wasn't.” I lied, somewhat unconvincingly. “You were too! I saw you. Eyes out on stalks!” “No really.” I blustered trying vainly to cover my embarrassment. I had grown very fond of Jenna, in a brotherly way. OK I admit it: I fancied her but I wasn't about to ruin our friendship by being stupid. I loved spending time with her: she was so worldly, such fun to be with and now I was in danger of spoiling it all just by ogling her tits. Her rather delightful, and obviously delicious looking, tempting to touch, young tits. “Actually, I was. I'm sorry. You just took me by surprise. I'm really sorry. I'm such a wolly.” “Don't worry. It's no big deal. It's not as if I was naked or you were peeking at me getting changed or anything.” That, of course, sent the image of her standing there dripping wet totally naked, dancing through my brain. What were those lovely little breasts like to ogle or even to touch? What went on between her legs? What did a vagina look like in real life? My day dream would have had a disastrous effect on my cock had the water not been so cold. I climbed out and we dried ourselves off. We spread our towels out, side by side, on the long grass in order to warm up with a bit of sunbathing. “Anyway, it's natural to be curious,” she continued, “it wouldn't be normal not to look.” The relief at being let off the hook was enormous and I stammered something inane before she came out with. “So what do you call a man looking at a naked girl?” She continued. The brazenness of the question took me by surprise and I failed to register that it was a joke. “Don't know.” “Anything you like! He's not listening.” She chortled at her own wit and I joined in. She lay face down on her towel and unhooked the top of her bikini. This was too much, I immediately rolled on to my stomach so as not to reveal my growing excitement. “No peeking at my tits now.” “No of course not.” “Lying bastard!” “Jenna?” “Yea?” “How come you're so confident and relaxed?” “What do you mean?” “Well you just caught me ogling you and now you're making it a bit of a joke.” “Probably because you are a bit prudish.” “Prudish! Me?” “Yes you. You were ogling my tits and then tried to deny it. I've got tits, you haven't, you're curious. So what's so wrong with that. Don't think I haven't taken a peek at the front of your swimming trunks from time to time. Anyway I know things about boys from Paula.” “Paula?” “Paula is my big sister. She's six years older than me and we chat. You know girl stuff.” “Mmmm?” “Paula got married a year ago and we still chat about girl stuff.” “Mmmmm?.” “I'll tell you more, if you tell me stuff about you.” “What sort of stuff?” “Well I'll tell you about my chats with Paula if you promise to keep it a secret for the rest of your life and if you tell me, absolutely honestly, the answer to the next questions. OK?” “Sure.” I said feeling a little vulnerable but a too curious to turn down such an offer. “Paula told me that the doctor gave her the pill just before she got married and that when they went on honeymoon they did it all the time. First thing in the morning, last thing at night and several times in between. She said the feelings were fantastic and much better than just touching yourself.” I am lying on my stomach, next to a pretty girl who is, at best, half naked describing her sister's sex life. The tension was nearly unbearable. “So my question is. When you are, you know, excited and touching yourself. I mean rubbing your thingy, what do you think about?” Shocked! And trapped! She had just asked me about my fantasies, and I had agreed to play a truth game. “Do I have to answer?” I said, playing for time. “Of course you do. You promised. That was the bargain.” I summoned up my courage with all my strength. “Mostly breasts.” I said with a dry mouth. “You naughty boy. I bet you are going to rub yourself tonight and I bet my tits will feature in your fantasy.” “Sorry, but you did ask.” Ducking what could be a very awkward moment. “Paula says she rubs Dave when she's on the curse. He plays with her tits while she rubs his cock and…….er by the way what do you call it? Your cock, your dick or what?” “Harry.” I said the first word that entered my head. She burst out laughing. “HARRY! You call it HARRY!” More peels of laughter. “No not really, that was just a joke. I suppose cock or prick usually.” “Well from now on it's Harry to me.” And she dissolved into laughter again. “Just think of the fun I can have with that. I can say 'How is Harry today?' Anytime, anywhere and only the two of us will know that I'm talking about your cock. That's priceless!” “It was supposed to be a joke. You were telling me about Paula.” “Yea, well she rubs his 'Harry'.” More laughter, “till he,……….you know,………. Jizes then touches herself until she's satisfied. So next question. How often do you play with Harry?” “What?” “You heard. How often do you play with Harry! You have had two bits of information so I get two questions. Out with it: how often?” “Quite a lot.” “Quite a lot is not a number. You promised me an answer. Now give.” “Well, probably most days.” “Oh good, I'm normal then.” “What!” “Me too. So it's normal. I thought I might be over doing it, but it's such a delicious feeling I just can't resist.” This was getting out of control. I was having a conversation, with a lovely girl, both half naked, and we were discussing our masturbation habits: bizarre. “Have you ever sunbathed in the nude?” I was definitely not ready for this question. “No, I haven't.” “Well you really out to. It's such a wonderful feeling having the sun on your bare skin, particularly your bum. I do it all the time by our pool. "We could do it now, staying on our stomachs of course. I mean you have a bum and I have a bum. Bums are just bums after all, not particularly interesting.” “I'm not sure that's a good idea.” I croaked, lying on my now full blown erection thinking that Jenna's bum would be far from 'not very interesting.' “Cowardy, cowardy custard. I tell you what, I'll take my bottoms off first if you promise me, on you honour, you will do it too.” And she slipped her thumbs into her bikini bottoms and eased them over her buttocks, such taught, firm, exercised, firm buttocks, and somehow got them off without revealing anything more intimate. “Your turn!” “Hang on. I never agreed to this.” “Well you didn't disagree: so you agreed. Now off with them or I'll tell Paula what a spoil sport you are.” This was my first introduction to the somewhat woolly area of female logic. I knew I had agreed to no such thing, but she was lying there naked, admittedly face down, but naked, and I found the idea very stimulating, and so did my errant cock, who found the whole experience extremely erotic. I followed her example and slipped my trunks down to my knees, having struggled to get the waist band over the rather obvious protrusion. I shifted sideways, back towards her, to complete the task and dropped onto my stomach as quickly as possible: stark naked and with the firmest, most rigid erection of my young life. “Good, isn't it?” She said and I had to admit that the warmth of the sun on my bum was a truly delicious feeling: so wickedly naughty. “You know what happens next, don't you?” By this time I was getting truly concerned as to what might happen next. A few years later and with more experience, I would have been delighted with this situation, but this was my first encounter with a naked girl and I have to admit I was petrified, but in a most enjoyable way. Without waiting for an answer she continued. “We go skinny dipping!” My jaw must have fallen a foot because she burst out laughing. “Oh your face! What a picture! Only joking, but the look on your face was priceless. I told you you were a prude.” Before I could muster my thoughts I fell straight into the trap. The words “I am not a prude.” Escaped my lips just as I realised what I had said. “Prove it!” “How?” “Show me Harry,” she chortled. “I will not!” “Prude!” “Well you're a prude too, lying there face down.” I retorted. “Not at all. I'll roll over if you roll over!” And I'd just fallen into another trap but it was my turn to seize the advantage. “You first!” I thought I'd gained the upper hand, but it was short lived. “No both together. On the count of three we both roll right over, as quickly as we can, back onto our tums. There will hardly be time to see anything: OK?” “Er……” “Prude!” “No. No. OK.” “One, two.” “No, stop. Stop. I'm not ready. Give me a second or two. Er……OK” “One, two, THREE!” The next few seconds seemed to last a lifetime and are emblazoned on my memory for ever. The swiftest of rolls presented me with a view of my first real pair of tits. Oh such beautiful, magnificent tits. Small, pert, little tits, that were to become my favourite shape and size for ever. Such is the power of that first encounter. A much more impressive surprise however, was the mass of pubic hair, dark brown, curly hair in a perfect triangle, that concealed the secrets at the join in her thighs. How I managed to register this much information in the time available is a credit to the power of human observation, but register it did. I was so intrigued by the whole spectacle that I temporarily forgot about my own nakedness. My teenage penis sprang free from the safety of its lair between my stomach and the ground and with all the enthusiasm that only a teenage penis can muster, pointed proudly skywards to the full scrutiny of Jenna's curious gaze. The exposure, mercifully, was short lived as I completed the roll over on to my stomach, trapping my errant member once again between the ground and my stomach. Jenna was the first to react with a characteristic chortle, but my teenage brain was still trying to compute what it had seen. The flashes of breast and pubic hair caused all my reproductive urges to go into overdrive and without so much as a touch a familiar feeling mounted in my groin. I knew what was about to happen and had no way of controlling it. The feeling intensified rapidly and I ejaculated violently into my towel. I still remember the intensity. I had had orgasms before, but only through masturbating. This was on a whole new level: the sensation was indescribable and within seconds my cock, having done the job nature intended it to do, shrank back to its flaccid state. You may recall that Jenna and I had taken a small boat to a nearby island for a picnic. Jenna is older than I, and much more worldly wise, because I had been closeted in a boys boarding school. Jenna was the first person from 'planet girl' I had really ever got to know. Somehow we had wound up sunbathing naked, face down of course, when Jenna trapped me into exposing myself while she did the same. By the time I was face down on the towel again I had seen my first real pair of tits, my first glimpse of female pubic hair and the whole experience had been too much for my teenage brain. I had ejaculated into my towel, with some considerable force, and was now lying on my flaccid cock in a damp patch of semen. “Are you OK?” She asked. “Yea fine,” I lied. “You just look worried all of a sudden.” “No I'm fine, honestly.” “I suppose we ought to be getting back.” And she wriggled into her bikini bottoms, fastened her top behind her back, stood up, picked up her towel and flicked me on the bum with it. “Ouch!” “Come on then, get Harry tucked away, and let's go.” I managed to get decent somehow, without exposing my obvious problem, and we puttered back towards home in our tiny craft. “That was a great afternoon.” She said,“ I really enjoyed it, and it was such fun to see your face when I suggested skinny dipping!” “Yes, well I'm glad you weren't serious.” “Are you really?” She said with that cheeky smile that showed off her dimples. “I bet you'd really enjoy it if you tried it. I do it all the time at home, it's such a delicious feeling. Just like the nude sunbathing but ten times better.” “Maybe next time.” I said with more confidence than I felt. “Ha ha!” Was all she said as we pulled in to the slipway where the boat was kept. We tidied up, turned the little boat upside down against the hedge to keep the rain out, and put the tiny outboard motor in the boat house. As we said our goodbyes she leaned forwards and gave me a peck on the cheek. I think I even blushed. “I really did enjoy it,” were her parting words. To be continued.. By Slowandeasy47 for Literotica

 Two life long friends start to explore intimacy together.In 4 parts, By D j mac 1031 - listen to the ► Podcast at Steamy Stories.The pool party had been going on for several hours, and it was well after dark, when Amy asked me if I'd wanted to go for a walk in the woods behind the house.She was 18, I was 19, but we'd known each other since we were toddlers,  our families being very close and part of the same church group.The party was to celebrate her high school graduation (I graduated the year before) and was mainly our families along with some of our mutual friends from church and school.As I said, we'd been friends for a long time, but it was only in recent months that things seemed to change between us.Talking about our futures, our questions of what we wanted to do with our lives, our secret bonding over our mutual distaste of our parents' particular brand of religion,  had brought us closer together as friends, but also somehow felt more than JUST friends.I'd certainly started noticing her beautiful body more recently as well.Amy was blonde, with curly shoulder length locks, now damp around her face. Blue eyes that almost matched the pool water we were currently floating in.Her one-piece bathing suit was modest (I'm sure her parents had some say in that) but still couldn't help but highlight the curves of her perfect apple sized breasts, or the roundness of her ass that hadn't quite lost its “baby fat” yet.She was well tanned of course; it was her pool and she spent a lot of time sunning herself when she wasn't actually swimming in it.We'd been playing Marco Polo for awhile along with our friends,  and there was the usual silliness, splashing,  and occasional “accidental” groping of random body parts as we all chased each other around the pool, taking turns being the “blind” player.My hands had found Amy's body on more than a few occasions when it was my turn. I was starting to think she was letting me catch her just so my hands could brush against her hips, her back, and yes once right across her round bubble butt.We'd been taking a break from the game and just floating nearby each other, catching our breath, when she asked about going for the walk.Most of our friends had left the pool already,  getting snacks or drinks or just drying off.“You really wanna?” I asked, surprised.  We'd been spending a lot of time together recently,  but both of us having very religious conservative parents made it difficult to actually pursue any kind of true dating relationship.We weren't girlfriend / boyfriend yet, not by any stretch,  but had certainly progressed beyond mere childhood friends in the past several weeks.I still remember my surprise when she kissed me right on the lips at her graduation ceremony just a few days ago.Oh it was quick, and she'd been hugging and kissing lots of folks. But it wasn't accidental on her part and it certainly didn't feel platonic.“Yeah, come on, it'll be fun, I promise,” she replied. The smile on her face was mischievous to say the least.I was a bit scared honestly. Both our parents would freak out if they caught us sneaking off together. I honestly couldn't wait to get out of my house and away from all the religious nonsense. But until then I had to put up with their repressive bullshit that made it incredibly difficult for me to even consider dating any girls on a regular basis, let alone get laid.We climbed out of the pool, grabbed our towels, and took a look around.Our parents all seemed busy,  chatting away with some of the other parents in attendance,  drinking, laughing,  and playing some card game.I didn't think they'd notice us.“Ok let's go, lead the way I guess. You know these woods better than me.”Amy didn't hesitate.  She took my hand and led me to a little path that was barely visible in the dark.As we got to the edge by the tree line, we both took one more look around,  saw no one noticing us, and quietly slipped through the trees and down the path.We hadn't gone very far when we came to a little clearing.  A few stumps marked where some trees had been cleared, and a small pile of wood to one side, apparently the remains of some makeshift fort.“My brothers cleared this spot years ago; they used to have sleepouts in their fort.  They never let me come here with them but I've always known about it. They eventually forgot about it as they got older, but I never did. It's a nice spot to just get away and be alone for a while, ” she explained.“Yeah, it's pretty cool I guess” I said, then, awkwardly, “not that many bugs here.”She laughed. “I keep it clear here so it doesn't get overgrown.  And I sprayed some bug killer here earlier this afternoon.  Just in case.” She had that mischievous grin again and a twinkle in her eye I couldn't fathom.“In case what?” I asked stupidly. God, the cluelessness of a teenage boy.“In case this” she said and suddenly she was in my arms, her lips pressed to mine.I froze for a moment,  but thankfully, instinct took over, and I kissed her back.She broke the kiss after a few seconds,  almost reluctantly.  "I've been wanting to do that forever, you know. I've been waiting so long for the right moment.“I smiled, hoping she couldn't see how red my face was in the moonlight that shone down on us."Wow. Well I'm…I'm glad you did Amy. That was…that was really…that was really nice.” I stuttered around the words like an idiot.“I'm glad you liked it. Because I wanna do it again.” She smiled,  looking at me in anticipation.This time I made the move, pulling her gently by the waist, leaning down a bit (she was shorter than me) and moving in for another kiss.She met me halfway and once again our lips connected.  We were both inexperienced,  but we got the hang of it quickly. I tested her lips with my tongue; they parted and accepted it. She offered her tongue in return, and we explored, if a bit awkwardly, the art of French kissing.We'd break the kiss only for a few moments to look into each other's eyes, smile, then right back at it.My hands up until that point had remained on her hips. Her arms were up around my neck and she was standing on her toes to help get some height.I decided to be a bit bolder, and slowly started moving my hands. First just slowly up then back down her sides. I repeated this move a few times and her body seemed to respond positively,  so I got braver.My hands went back to her hips, then slowly around to her back. While the front of her suit was modest, the back was mostly open, allowing my hands to gently caress her soft, perfect skin.She broke the kiss and giggled, “that tickles!”“Sorry,” I said, lying.“I didn't say stop, did I?” She replied softly, then started kissing me again.My hands continued rubbing her back, but now I was moving them in small slow circles, lower, and lower still, stopping just above her ass.I could feel her wriggling,  trying to stand taller,  and realized she was trying to actually move her ass UP and into my hands!I took her signal and went with it, sliding my hands down and finally cupping the perfect teen bubble butt I'd up until then been able to admire only with my eyes.“Mmmmm,” she moaned as she broke the kiss. “Finally.  Took you long enough, ” she giggled again playfully.“I was trying to be a gentleman, ” I joked.“Well stop trying so hard” she shot back playfully.Oh yeah?“ I said in mock annoyance. "Well then…” and with that I playfully grabbed her ass harder.What happened next happened quickly. My pull on her ass threw her off the balance of her toes, and she fell forward,  right into me, our bodies touching fully for the first time.And that's when I realized I had a massive erection.I felt her lower stomach lean right into it when she slipped,  felt the simultaneous jolt of pain from the impact and pleasure from, well, the contact.She was laughing at first, then suddenly went quiet as she looked down, confused for a moment.Then her eyes went wide as she looked up at me.“Is that…is that your…” Now she was the one stuttering.  "Is that what I think it is?“ She managed to get out.My face went beet red. "Yeah, um, look, sorry, I…”“It's ok” she cut in. “Did I… did I hurt you???”“No,” I replied.  ( it had hurt, but only a little really and I didn't want to make her feel bad.)“Oh, ok, good.” She said, biting her lip.We stood there in awkward silence for a moment.  But she didn't back away,  and I certainly didn't want her to. My cock was throbbing,  straining against the fabric of my suit, and while separated by my suit and her own, I still enjoyed the contact of another person,  especially my beautiful friend Amy, touching up against my penis, even if only indirectly.I didn't want the moment to end. But I didn't know how to continue.Amy finally broke the silence.  "Is that…because of me?“ She asked shyly."Yes” I managed.She pulled away from me and I almost groaned. I didn't want her to move.But she only pulled back far enough to look down to see the tent pushing up from my swimsuit.Her eyes again went wide. “Wow. I mean I knew they got…bigger, when guys got…but I didn't think they'd get that… big, or…” She stopped,  looking both confused and excited.I was embarrassed,  yet also feeling a sense of pride, and excitement.  My life long friend was seeing my penis for the first time, even if it was covered by my suit, and it was giving her a good show.“Have you never seen a guys…you know,  thing before?” I asked, hoping mine was truly her first.“Well, no, not really. A picture in a textbook once. but it was just a drawing, and not this big, or…” she paused.“Hard?” I finished for her.“Yeah,” she laughed.  "I never saw a hard one. A REAL one.“ She gulped."Yeah, they're usually smaller and soft, normally. But get much bigger and harder when…excited” I explained simply.“So you're…excited…because of me?”“Yes,” I replied, “Amy, you're so beautiful,  and I'm so happy to be here, kissing you, and touching you. I've wanted this for a long time too, and now that it's happening, I can't help but get…well, turned on.  I hope this doesn't upset you.”“No, not at all. I… I love it” she said, grinning widely.

 Two life long friends start to explore intimacy together.In 4 parts, By D j mac 1031 - listen to the ► Podcast at Steamy Stories.The pool party had been going on for several hours, and it was well after dark, when Amy asked me if I'd wanted to go for a walk in the woods behind the house.She was 18, I was 19, but we'd known each other since we were toddlers,  our families being very close and part of the same church group.The party was to celebrate her high school graduation (I graduated the year before) and was mainly our families along with some of our mutual friends from church and school.As I said, we'd been friends for a long time, but it was only in recent months that things seemed to change between us.Talking about our futures, our questions of what we wanted to do with our lives, our secret bonding over our mutual distaste of our parents' particular brand of religion,  had brought us closer together as friends, but also somehow felt more than JUST friends.I'd certainly started noticing her beautiful body more recently as well.Amy was blonde, with curly shoulder length locks, now damp around her face. Blue eyes that almost matched the pool water we were currently floating in.Her one-piece bathing suit was modest (I'm sure her parents had some say in that) but still couldn't help but highlight the curves of her perfect apple sized breasts, or the roundness of her ass that hadn't quite lost its “baby fat” yet.She was well tanned of course; it was her pool and she spent a lot of time sunning herself when she wasn't actually swimming in it.We'd been playing Marco Polo for awhile along with our friends,  and there was the usual silliness, splashing,  and occasional “accidental” groping of random body parts as we all chased each other around the pool, taking turns being the “blind” player.My hands had found Amy's body on more than a few occasions when it was my turn. I was starting to think she was letting me catch her just so my hands could brush against her hips, her back, and yes once right across her round bubble butt.We'd been taking a break from the game and just floating nearby each other, catching our breath, when she asked about going for the walk.Most of our friends had left the pool already,  getting snacks or drinks or just drying off.“You really wanna?” I asked, surprised.  We'd been spending a lot of time together recently,  but both of us having very religious conservative parents made it difficult to actually pursue any kind of true dating relationship.We weren't girlfriend / boyfriend yet, not by any stretch,  but had certainly progressed beyond mere childhood friends in the past several weeks.I still remember my surprise when she kissed me right on the lips at her graduation ceremony just a few days ago.Oh it was quick, and she'd been hugging and kissing lots of folks. But it wasn't accidental on her part and it certainly didn't feel platonic.“Yeah, come on, it'll be fun, I promise,” she replied. The smile on her face was mischievous to say the least.I was a bit scared honestly. Both our parents would freak out if they caught us sneaking off together. I honestly couldn't wait to get out of my house and away from all the religious nonsense. But until then I had to put up with their repressive bullshit that made it incredibly difficult for me to even consider dating any girls on a regular basis, let alone get laid.We climbed out of the pool, grabbed our towels, and took a look around.Our parents all seemed busy,  chatting away with some of the other parents in attendance,  drinking, laughing,  and playing some card game.I didn't think they'd notice us.“Ok let's go, lead the way I guess. You know these woods better than me.”Amy didn't hesitate.  She took my hand and led me to a little path that was barely visible in the dark.As we got to the edge by the tree line, we both took one more look around,  saw no one noticing us, and quietly slipped through the trees and down the path.We hadn't gone very far when we came to a little clearing.  A few stumps marked where some trees had been cleared, and a small pile of wood to one side, apparently the remains of some makeshift fort.“My brothers cleared this spot years ago; they used to have sleepouts in their fort.  They never let me come here with them but I've always known about it. They eventually forgot about it as they got older, but I never did. It's a nice spot to just get away and be alone for a while, ” she explained.“Yeah, it's pretty cool I guess” I said, then, awkwardly, “not that many bugs here.”She laughed. “I keep it clear here so it doesn't get overgrown.  And I sprayed some bug killer here earlier this afternoon.  Just in case.” She had that mischievous grin again and a twinkle in her eye I couldn't fathom.“In case what?” I asked stupidly. God, the cluelessness of a teenage boy.“In case this” she said and suddenly she was in my arms, her lips pressed to mine.I froze for a moment,  but thankfully, instinct took over, and I kissed her back.She broke the kiss after a few seconds,  almost reluctantly.  "I've been wanting to do that forever, you know. I've been waiting so long for the right moment.“I smiled, hoping she couldn't see how red my face was in the moonlight that shone down on us."Wow. Well I'm…I'm glad you did Amy. That was…that was really…that was really nice.” I stuttered around the words like an idiot.“I'm glad you liked it. Because I wanna do it again.” She smiled,  looking at me in anticipation.This time I made the move, pulling her gently by the waist, leaning down a bit (she was shorter than me) and moving in for another kiss.She met me halfway and once again our lips connected.  We were both inexperienced,  but we got the hang of it quickly. I tested her lips with my tongue; they parted and accepted it. She offered her tongue in return, and we explored, if a bit awkwardly, the art of French kissing.We'd break the kiss only for a few moments to look into each other's eyes, smile, then right back at it.My hands up until that point had remained on her hips. Her arms were up around my neck and she was standing on her toes to help get some height.I decided to be a bit bolder, and slowly started moving my hands. First just slowly up then back down her sides. I repeated this move a few times and her body seemed to respond positively,  so I got braver.My hands went back to her hips, then slowly around to her back. While the front of her suit was modest, the back was mostly open, allowing my hands to gently caress her soft, perfect skin.She broke the kiss and giggled, “that tickles!”“Sorry,” I said, lying.“I didn't say stop, did I?” She replied softly, then started kissing me again.My hands continued rubbing her back, but now I was moving them in small slow circles, lower, and lower still, stopping just above her ass.I could feel her wriggling,  trying to stand taller,  and realized she was trying to actually move her ass UP and into my hands!I took her signal and went with it, sliding my hands down and finally cupping the perfect teen bubble butt I'd up until then been able to admire only with my eyes.“Mmmmm,” she moaned as she broke the kiss. “Finally.  Took you long enough, ” she giggled again playfully.“I was trying to be a gentleman, ” I joked.“Well stop trying so hard” she shot back playfully.Oh yeah?“ I said in mock annoyance. "Well then…” and with that I playfully grabbed her ass harder.What happened next happened quickly. My pull on her ass threw her off the balance of her toes, and she fell forward,  right into me, our bodies touching fully for the first time.And that's when I realized I had a massive erection.I felt her lower stomach lean right into it when she slipped,  felt the simultaneous jolt of pain from the impact and pleasure from, well, the contact.She was laughing at first, then suddenly went quiet as she looked down, confused for a moment.Then her eyes went wide as she looked up at me.“Is that…is that your…” Now she was the one stuttering.  "Is that what I think it is?“ She managed to get out.My face went beet red. "Yeah, um, look, sorry, I…”“It's ok” she cut in. “Did I… did I hurt you???”“No,” I replied.  ( it had hurt, but only a little really and I didn't want to make her feel bad.)“Oh, ok, good.” She said, biting her lip.We stood there in awkward silence for a moment.  But she didn't back away,  and I certainly didn't want her to. My cock was throbbing,  straining against the fabric of my suit, and while separated by my suit and her own, I still enjoyed the contact of another person,  especially my beautiful friend Amy, touching up against my penis, even if only indirectly.I didn't want the moment to end. But I didn't know how to continue.Amy finally broke the silence.  "Is that…because of me?“ She asked shyly."Yes” I managed.She pulled away from me and I almost groaned. I didn't want her to move.But she only pulled back far enough to look down to see the tent pushing up from my swimsuit.Her eyes again went wide. “Wow. I mean I knew they got…bigger, when guys got…but I didn't think they'd get that… big, or…” She stopped,  looking both confused and excited.I was embarrassed,  yet also feeling a sense of pride, and excitement.  My life long friend was seeing my penis for the first time, even if it was covered by my suit, and it was giving her a good show.“Have you never seen a guys…you know,  thing before?” I asked, hoping mine was truly her first.“Well, no, not really. A picture in a textbook once. but it was just a drawing, and not this big, or…” she paused.“Hard?” I finished for her.“Yeah,” she laughed.  "I never saw a hard one. A REAL one.“ She gulped."Yeah, they're usually smaller and soft, normally. But get much bigger and harder when…excited” I explained simply.“So you're…excited…because of me?”“Yes,” I replied, “Amy, you're so beautiful,  and I'm so happy to be here, kissing you, and touching you. I've wanted this for a long time too, and now that it's happening, I can't help but get…well, turned on.  I hope this doesn't upset you.”“No, not at all. I… I love it” she said, grinning widely.

Mmmmm lalalalala throaaattt chakra. This time is all about getting clear on our discipline, discernment, and boundaries for the sake of keeping our channel clear for divine expression. We can only operate from our highest place when we aren't being depleted - and only we can set the boundaries on that which does so. It's supportive to create a safe space for playful exploration where these blocks can arise and be worked with. So line up your stuffed animals on your bed and put on a show. Spiral Revival's InstagramAlai's InstagramThat's Just Reality bookMuch love & blessings, Alaï Margarita Canyon Miel'aqua Malaika Delmaré Zaela Starshine

“El Machina Caballero” Wait, you're married to Catherine Heinowitz? I was. Like THE Heinowitz? As in Rebecca Heinowitz? —Katie Heinowitz! YES. Like the guys who made Church Factory! You're a Sasquatch. I know. All the TV people are smaller in person In one way or another— Live or behind the scenes Believe me The tv people need you Just as much as You need your TV Please believe me Everything is not what it seems to be As Seen on TV [The Tv People Theme Song] Yes. What is WRONG with you? Something. Marc Shultz? I fucking guess. You're Jewish? If I wasn't before, I am now! You can't be serious. All I see And all I am Is you and I Inside The Eye ___ This is mescaline. Okay. I take this when I get too—(he spins his finger) spun around, wound up. I get that. You want to go with me? No, but I'll watch over you, at least. That's all I ask. Patrick and Esha under the guidance and guise of the eye are best friends, have become bound by blood in such a sacred oath that one does not function without the other, and although moving without restraint or restriction independently, grow magnetically and enigmatically together by force of nature, as we learn to understand that the connection precedes the bond by which the sacred oath has bound them, and also is… Also is what! Goddamn! Idk, lost my train of thought. The irony of irony, is that Patrick tends to get away with his bizarre and off the wire behavior, because he is surrounded by people who love him for his talent and open heart— his downfall often being that the only person who doesn't love Patrick, is himself. 1-888-788-0099. You know what DNA stands for? Do not attempt to talk to me when I'm fasting. I'm not in my body, almost at all. Trying to get God to talk in English is like, A task, Do not attempt. I don't know what channel you're on. Ah, the dreads. The olden ones seem to have known I was coming. More coffee. No, no coffee. Breakfast is— No, I need you fasting for this. For what. Come on. That's not my God. You know what. I know that. Your God is money. Go back to California! I WISH, if I could have an apartment like this in California, I would have been gone, however There is a lot of love in New York. That's the reason it's still standing up. When is this? I don't know. Couldn't have gone too far back, you know— I was still at least 3 days in And three days out, And completely full of shit, Which must mean I'm WHERE'S JIMMY FALLON. I'm Jimmy Fallon. No, the REAL Jimmy Fallon. Go, quickly. Yes, sire! You know, I'll scratch your eyes out. That might take a long time; I have eyes all over this city. Uh, line? Come, ishii, and Quickly. How did I spell that again? One way, or another, All the series are going to collide with all the series, At some point! Listen, Emmitt… Yes. I'm going to need you to explain this experiment to me.,,very—simply. It is simple! You know this! I know this trick! Follow me. I need a safety. I'm oooh, shiny! Whatever. Come on. This is FUCKED UP THIS IS FUCKED UP THIS IS FUCKED UP FUCKED UP TRUMP CITY, USA Just fucking kill me. SETH. Rogen, or Myers? Both of you. What? Really? Yes. Okay. GO, So you know all this to be true, right? Yes. Correct, So if you know that, Then you know I'm not the real Jimmy Fallon… Exactly. I trusted you! Trusted me for WHAT. Not to LOOK. Look. No. Look at me. NO. Oh good, the piano bar. I told you she was gay. I'm not gay, I'm just. Please, just one drink with me. NO, Satan, Jesus. Okay, Jesus, relax. Quit saying your own name. I OWN YOU. You are my SLAVE. Okay. That's…. That's not okay! You killed my boss! Is this like a 3D thank you card, or something? He writes my checks! Did you check his pockets? Severance pay, maybe. How many days is this fasting? I don't know, maybe like 1, 2 Two days? I can do that. Three hundred and 80 MESSAGES. Hey, this is— BEEEEEEP. Messages erased! Hey! What the fuck! You can't have these things, Jimmy! That's just my stage name! Listen to me Was it Connie?! I hope it was Connie! JUST—SHUT UP. Come with me. Why r u following me?! GARY! GARY! SAVE ME! Okay, this is strange, but the subtle SpongeBob references in this series Now make everything crazy. If I kill myself today, you know, he wins at everything. Why would I kill myself on my wedding anniversary. Why would you kill yourself on my birthday. Cause, Plus One, Because, Johnny, I loved you— And I never told you that. Actions speak louder than words. Way, way louder. This is a class action lawsuit from 96 celebrities. What are you suing me for?! Nothing?! MY CORNBREAD RECIPE?! SERIOUSLY?! Who the fuck is driving this thing? It's not me, actually. You should ask the conductor— I'm just having an out of body experience. Okay, that cop did look like Dillon Francis. I thought Dillon Francis was Satan. I thought so too, but then— NICOLAS?! AHAHAHAH. Oh no! He's taken another hostage. Yep. Poor thing! NICKELODEON WOULD YOU DO THIS. Uhhhh—- maybe DOUBLE DARE. FUCK, MAN! Okay, whose driving?! Satan, take the wheel for a second. Okee. *instantly crashes* Instant death! Instant infinity— Dammit. I'm telling you, god is actually winning this thing. WHERE IS HE?! Jim, get out of New York City, Take your family, Take everything with you. Okay. I'm— Wait WHAT. What did you just say?! Nothing, I'll kill you, you know. GOOD. Hello? This is the Illuminati speaking. Okay. Meet me at. What is this, I don't know. The Heineken factory?! I'll give you $36 dollars, every time you say. Why are you doing this? I don't know: That's right! You don't know! Are the eyes in yet? Not yet. Are the headmasters here? Almost. Great. This is going to be a great project— I CANT DYSFUNCTION. Don't you mean. You can't “function “ Well— Yes, and no— It's just MY EYEs! MY EYES DONT WORK. But it's amazing, it's almost as if— You know what. I like these traits. I'm keeping them. NO, LET ME GO. No, little man. Stay in the box, like you're supposed to— Oh and— NO, DONT SHUT ME— imm not shutting you off. I'm just turning the volume—doooown.. No, wait— (But quiet) Ya. I also wish I was white. YUCK. What am I doing like this? Idk. Kill yourself. Right? I wish. BLACK IS BEAUUUUUTIFUL. Yeah. It is. But— Look, don't— Avoid these creatures. Hey baby! wtf is he saying. Idk. I think he speaks English. Switch to English. Uhhh, who am I again. The band made her smile, But the dancer made her laugh. She liked the band; But the dancer made her laugh The band made her happy, But the dancer made her laugh I don't follow a man, unless— The music, yes. Follow that. He's got my heart in his hand And she's got the world in her eyes And he's got his hands on my heart The sermon of sorts, The rock and the kite THE FOURTH REIGHT HAS RISEN! THE SOUTH WILL RIIIIIIIIIIIIZE OH SHIT, I almost forgot this guy WILL FERAL. lol. That actually happened. You shouldn't fast like this City sickness, city sickness Perhaps you should move to Ohio, dear matron, if all you can say is Words with hatred When I loved you in the first place. Hey, Satan. But I just couldn't take it The white devil had his day in my Spiritual Parisian The nuptial edits. The wedding band, Remote controls and Architects Sages and pages of Architects Art directors, Casting agents And I just can't handle it I just need managers Booking, Writing books And keeping close tabs On their dialects Who dialed you in God 9/11 Who dialed you in on 420 The devil himself And my mom must have warned them She warned them with Fireball A cannon Never had a Catastrophe You summoned her, didn't you?! WHO? Which— My MOM! No, MAYA, actually no! You did! You I did not Look, SEYONCE wants you to dance with her. Dance? I can't. That is tragic. He's a GOD, I tell you that! Did I tell you that?! Now, fist bump the trash can. Nah. Dammit. Fuck, man. Yes, I win! That one scene where Patrick sells all of esha's guitsrs— You sold all my stuff?! What is that, anyway?l Liked”, a shrine!!?! What?! Fuck you! —fuck you. I'm a collector! Well, guess what?! Now you're a contributor— What?! You want your precious, fuckin— It's a collection Yeah, well your collection is sitting in an exhibit at your favorite musical in Manhattan How would you know what's my favorite— —let's just say I guessed — Fantastic. you— I donated them. You what— You don't have to thank me, either— One day, that museum will be honored and redededicsted entirely in your namesake I fucking hate you, How would you even know these things. Somethings you've yet to see, But I've seen them, and believe me The Eye is Aching for it For what? The tears in his eyes have turned into l glowing halos, and the whole world becomes something other than what it was, the office, fading into what seems to be a single soundstagec and as the halos in his eyes begin to transform into other worlds, the present becomes the past, as he has been altered—to becom The One; the original Predecessor of The Eye. I don't— What show is this? I don't know. [The Festival Project] …did you dream last night, Esha? …what do you mean? Did you dream? I did dream of him, Last night Two dreams I dreamed A weeklong song, I sung An aching heart I woke with I KNEW THERE WAS HONEY IN THIS. —just—hold onto this for a minute, would you? Sure, I— Aaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyaaaaaaaaaaaaa So that's where I left it. Hm. THE VEGAN VERSION USES AGAVE AND ROASTED— shhhhhh. This is my recipe now. My secret recipe. Don't spoil it. Sh! OH, ROASTED— ssh! I'm shook. Oh look. There he is again. Fuck!, dude how did you do this?! I don't know! Run! SHOOT HIM. what. Just— Shoot him. I got the gangstas With the pizzas YEET. No, try something else. What, you don't like this one? No, it's not- I YEETS THE PIZZA I EATS THE PIZZA Oh, apparently they were Lizzing at this shit yesterday. For WHAT purpose. That's not funny. Remember: Comedy is always tragic— What. What's this. Oh, that is funny, When it isn't you. It's true. It did seem my baby at one point had a death wish. Oh, look, Yay. Go baby! You're doin it! Woo! Now watch this: [baby attempts to run into oncoming traffic ] Mommy NOOOO! Haha. I remember those days. My baby fever is out of control. LOOK AT HIM W0000000W LOOK AT THESE JEANS YUM. LOOK AT THESE hair, he has nice hair. Try not to scare her: AH. Fuck. Yikes. Okay, I can't see again, which means. I'M BLIND! She took— MY EYEBALLS. Here, use mine. Thanks, uhh— Satan. Oh, thanks Sa— Wait. But my friends and fans call me SKRRRRRRRRRRRRIIIIIIIIIIIIIILLLLLLLL THATS THE X! What?! THATS YOUR X?! NO. WELL, yes, but THATS “THE X” Aw, man. What the fuck, God. I swear, an extra small And I'm still too fat Let's go to McDonald's I LOVE MCDONALDS OH. Hey. Oh, I remember this it's EXIT NO EXIT NOW, before my *before my life gets hacked. lol fuck these fags. Seriously, it's like Well, I'm on my own time NY YOURE ON MY TIME YOURE ON CITY TIME YEh, exactly. This is NO, THIS IS MY TIME always let the white girls go ahead of you; They're trying to be angrily mean and flamboyant, but trust this; She's going to tell you how rough the waters are by taking the journey before you And though she will not show it Maybe ever She loves you As her sister As a woman Okay, you little black bitch Am I little now, the other day I was FAT 8mm I'm gonna kill you. Great, my life is ruined. Ok. I just want like Cereal Some English muffins Like, Oatmeal, Quinoa, I don't care Whatever This ruins you, you know. That's ok. I'd rather be killed by every white girl in the Illuminati, than by my ex husband again. Seriously, is this not torture to you? It is, it's just This is MY magic. That's the—that's the white devil, it's pretty much, I told you this lol I love New York This white girl— I actually liked her She was a bag lady, Uptown, You could tell she was just-/ Stuck in this fucked up world too long, Cause I smiled at her, Cause I liked her Crackheadedness, I guess But you could tell she wasn't on crack Cause she didn't have the crack swagger You know, the— *crack swaggers* That shit. And she was just like Cracked. Probably cause she lived uptown. I personally prefer anything below. 80th She was somewhere like, Above 96th, And I was just like— Lost, with no phone, on God Mode like Well, my eyes don't work and I no longer speak proper English, I'm some kind of bird, I guess And I'm lost as fuck Taking the extra long way home because, I was literally trying to go One fucking place On what is literally the worst day in history: 4/20 Not only because it was Hitler birthday, Or because everyone is now smoking like government funded weed, Which could never be a good thing— But because the only train, Or one of the only train lines That goes directly from this one place to my house Was just— magically “Out” that day Cause, you know— New York City. And this lady gets on the train, Just fucking rambling, And I laughed— Actually out loud, Because, I left my house at like 10 in the morning And I didn't get back until almost midnight, Just trying to get to this one place and like— Couldn't. Or, actually by the time I did I was just— So fucking hungry That everything around me Was some kind of Something I made up Or was working on writing— This also happens when I'm fasting Everything just turns in to [the festival project] Which I thought Nobody else in the world even knew or cared about except for God And the aliens that have been writing it— Which is usually Come on. Where are we going? “Staples” EXT. ONE WORLD TRADE CENTER. DAY AWTF NO. They put his NAME on a BUS. Why would they do THAT?! If you're a whole bus, Then I must be the motor… Satan is my motor His name on a building— Oh hell no. This is the wrong place and time Something is wrong! NO. FUCK THAT GUY FUCK THIS DAY. Just — Dissociate! Dissociate! Uhhh—- I gotta go back in time and stop myself from getting married. Why?! Cause! Everything is his now. We like him better than you. NOOOOOO. KILL YOURSELF THEN. I tried. I was like “Look, Ali” He was like: “Over here” Oh. EXT. ST PAUL'S CEMETARY, DAY. Where you going? Idk. What is that sound. Idk. ELON ALIAS? Uhh__ I don't have an alias for you, son, I'm sorry. You're just ELON MUSK ELON! ELON! Oh, my—christs, what's happened to you? I don't know! My eyes! My eyes! Mmmmm. Rye bread sounds fucking awesome right now. Tight. *sniffs* Tight. Tight. WHOOPDEWOO. Yep. You know—WHOOPDEWOO. WHOOPDE— WHOOPI. What the FUCK. WHAT. I was. Well. That's good. What. I don't know what I'm looking at but I'm starting to like these eyes. What! Whose eyes are these?? Idk. But once I found out I was using Satan's— WAIT, like, the DEVIL?! Yes, Jason Sudakis. yes. You can come. Where are we going?! To get alcohol poisoning. There is a song Kissing the barrel of a gun Protect the land, they sing However, It is he that banishes The truth from nature The apocalypse has been upon us Since the collapse of these mighty towers The collapse of the mighty dollar I'ma still Riding MY BICI— BLAM! AHHHHH! You shot me! I'm sorry son! I thought you were black! I am— Kinda— Or was. *dies melodramatically* NOOOOOOOO! We shot one of our own! —Kinda… Fuck man, I'm gonna get so fired for this. Or like, at least laid off… Well, let's just hope it's a paid leave! [two racist cops— Ahem— Decide rather than going to jail, they will just shoot anybody who comes to the scene of the crime Damn, this gets levels Cause —to summarize, eventually the standoff ends, And when they get to heaven The kid they shit is God(s) “God The Judge” Welcome to my world The only law of the land, is There is no law Bound by the law, Is the land you've let behind All for the better The lost souls They know not to harm one another From the suffering, It's up they come From whence there on, We rise up Leave them in the dust From behind Let's to suffer under us Suffer under us You know what I want? A malotov cocktail For all of the tales I have yet to tell And I never will Cause you've lost my trust There's none of us left you know Where we left you The world we left to suffer under us Serivice, you servitor I see it in your eyes I am in another realm So high above you That you can't deny my diety You can deny my animal My wild side My life inside my life inside my DIE! —just die already Trust me, I'm trying. I'm just a horse I, Race—- —Course These nigga is racist These bitches is heated Cause she see I need him It's all DJs on walls Broken mirrors And broken bottle Alcoholics Mescaline And city sickness [Esha's addictions resurface, Patrick's use peaks at its all time high— ] She ravages the grocery store in search of comfort foods— Patrick is arrested after destroying an entire Liquor store I just had to Run a Madonna Why you thinking about my husband— at all!? I wish I knew, madam I wish I knew the answer I just had to Suffer through An album called Forgiveness I got get this I don't have nothin But suffering to do And I've already done that so, Shut up I couldn't have ever fathomed A cannon so handsom I have a bazooka Bubblegum It matches you cannon See, That's how far up I am— Fall back That be Of course not That's his father, Don't you know? I had to ask, Have you passed on, sir? And if you have— How is your son? That's my hat, though I only know them Once they become broken No promises though On the whole order of it See how far This is my home This is my temple You are my archer, Who holds now and arrows These are my horses These are my stables Run, rabbit, run For I am not stable Run, rabbit, run, rabbit Sit at my table All hail the archer King James, your majesty I called you Saint, Because, This is my masterpiece This is my hand, And this, is my label Come archer Come one and all Sit at my table I called you Saint Because I am unstable I painted this picture, Come sit at my table A land made of glass, And the casket, the cradle I made you up, because I became able to Ableton I only hate you Cause I can't have you I'd only date you If it weren't random Damn, this is tragic Taking my hand like that Showing me magic I'm not taking it back; You're a maniac, man And imm mad at you— Handsome professional Dads have it best I guess father know best And she's perfect The family is golden Her aura was always my horrible An honor it was To serve, you, sire The patriarch Of such a remarkable War with us The hers, and the girls Vursus, Woman lust over what are overuses are Sure enough Assuredly a certain Azure after all, is coming up I'm coming off this fast, man But to be grandfathered into The master craft By the madmen of Manhattan Is Damn. I was hungry. Well DUH. Just shut up and run, would you Shouldn't have uttered it Once is a curse, It's enough Just to be as unloved as I ever was But this one is fucking up my consciousness Of all the award I never won And everyone around Is the mother of his sons But, Where does that come from? The comfort was torn from her heart, Where she left it, On the alter, Still bleeding And his heart never beats for her Evil, she thinks If the keeper of the keys She had bathed/ Or had mated with— But she sees this: “Stamatina” And know there's some Jesus In this Genius And the trickery That just may be as fatal As Mother Nature In his genes, The super creeps and creperies Another demolished apostle For falling in love, She collects, of cours Albums as tokens In the exchanges, she lays all her eggs The jogs toning her legs for the right one, And all out of protein She gobbles the apples and ashes, Ambidextrous Dexters watching all this as the butcher of Some harbor Stuck in New York, New story, With the same old habits All this was a tragic And unhappy accident As cellibacy creeps up In the form of Some imaginative masturbation Fascinated with the fashion And architecture of summon city A portal gun, One dollar bill Some pills Some fuckin remedy for Whoever that shapeshifter Posing as Jimmy Fallon Actually is Cause none of this Can never And never did happen And. When your spirit is floating down that tunnel towards the light— You know what's behind the light? It's not God, it's— LORNE MICHAELS (ME) Uh oh. —and I don't know how you did this, but— {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project.™] COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT 2019-2024 | THE COMPLEX COLLECTIVE. © ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. © -Ū.

In the second hour, the boys dive into the 'Paris Jewellers Inbox' where you can kick your best chance to try and win a $20 A&W gift card with the A&W 'Text of the Day'   From the Popeyes Louisiana Kitchen, Dusty and Lt. Eric share what they think the Oilers need to do next game to win.   They both share their thoughts on the post-game response of the Oilers and what it would mean if the team lost the next game.   Dusty then lays down the 'Coolbet Hotline of the Day' where he goes to the Dallas Stars!   Midway through the hour Dusty opens a mystery package...   The fellas play a playoff pump-up song for Sportball to hype you up!   They then get into 'MMMMMMM That's Good' for the Italian Centre Shop! The Italian Centre Shop received this year's Canada's Best Companies award! MMMMM that's so so good! What's also good is that the Oilers vs Canucks series now HAS to be a 7-game series for the Oilers to move on!

Our Veterans Service Organizations are great at connecting veterans to their earned benefits...at no cost, by the way. That's just one piece of the pie, though. Our Membership and Programs troubles are complex, and this episode focuses on just one "value add" we can apply to our membership that would benefit both the veteran and the organization. On top of that, it can complete the pie! :) Mmmmm...pie. "If they ain't working; It ain't working" --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/dalydose/message

BayCon 1993. A roadtrip through the southwest on I-10. The Thing outside of Tucson.  Marion Zimmer Bradley. Pitney dives under a table to hide from Tricia.  And Russians. Mmmmm, delicious Russians. Because things like this only happen to us. Hop in the backseat, next stop El Paso! Promo: Our True Crime Podcast podfollow.com/1404686511 @OurTrueCrimePod (Want to swap show promos? Email us!)   We love you for listening! Please take a moment to rate and review us, and earn a STICKER! (Everyone loves stickers!) And please subscribe or add us to your favorites list on your favorite platform so you never miss a show! And share us with your cool friends, not the lame ones.     Questions? Comments? Complaints? Write to us at PitneyAndAmelia@gmail.com!  Tweet at us at @bitchenboutique! https://twitter.com/bitchenboutique Stay up to date by liking our Facebook page! https://www.facebook.com/Pitney-Amelias-Bitchen-Boutique-1082838478590821/   If you want to be supportive without a lot of stuff cluttering your feed, follow us on Instagram at @pitneyandamelia! https://www.instagram.com/pitneyandamelia/ And if you're feeling generous, buy yourself a little something at our merch shop and help to support our show! (Turn off that Content Filter to see the "uncensored" stuff!)  https://www.teepublic.com/stores/bitchen-boutique?ref_id=30433&utm_campaign=30433&utm_medium=affiliate&utm_source=Bitchen%2BBoutique     Who the heck are Pitney and Amelia? A gay guy and his fat friend talking about everything! We've got 40 YEARS of stories to share about stuff we love, stuff that annoys us, people we've known, places we've been, and things we've seen. Geeky, silly, and always opinionated. NAMES ARE CHANGED TO PROTECT THE GUILTY!   We may be awful, but we're right!  Here, queer, and in your ear. Every other Friday.     The Bitchen Boutique is all about mental health and openness and honesty and if you're in crisis and in the US, call or text 988, or go to 988lifeline.org to reach the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline.  And if you just need some friends, you've got two right here. LGBTQIA+ | Comedy | Pop Culture | Fandom | Horror | Spirituality | Mental Health #BayCon #MarionZimmerBradley #Roadtrips #TheThingAZ   #LGBTQIAplus  #Comedy #PopCulture #Fandom  #Horror  #Spirituality #MentalHealth

Mmmmm! All the tastiest treats of Monday's show for your little ears…See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

David auditions with young slut to win a bigger prize. By nectarines_are_peachy. Listen to the Podcast  at Steamy Stories. The crowd was howling with laughter. I stood there, mic in one hand, beer bottle in the other and examined them. I had the biggest of grins on my face. I couldn't see much with the lights in my eyes and the audience in darkness but their laughter, bending double and slamming tables told me all I needed to know. I had used up all my good material so I decided I would just duck out. Always leave them wanting more, you know? [[MORE]] "My name is David Andies and you guys have been a wonderful fucking audience!" I shouted into the mic as I reset it in the stand. I stepped off stage and the crowd burst in to applause and whistling. Mandy, the MC, was standing just off stage. She looked at me, her mouth wide open. "Honestly dude, I did not expect you to be so fucking funny!" she said. She was just staring at me, not blinking. I hadn't been to many open mic nights but none of them had gone like this. I could feel the adrenaline just fucking pumping through me. My heart felt like it was going to burst through my chest. I needed a piss, badly. "Don't you go on to introduce the next act?" I asked, trying desperately to hold in my piss and not check Mandy out at the same time. She was my age, mid 30s, and had a great figure. Huge ass, lovely big boobs and curly black shoulder length hair. She was a good bit shorter than my 6 foot 2 so I had a lovely view of her cleavage. The things I'd do to her! The beer was definitely having an affect on me. "Nah, dude. I don't think anyone can follow that for a while. I'll just say there's an intermission," she winked at me before bouncing back out on to the stage. As I headed for the toilet I heard Mandy praise the shit out of me and announce a 30 minute hiatus on the comedy for people to get drinks, go for a smoke or whatever. She was letting some of the energy out of the room to give the next guy a bit of a chance. Standing at the urinal with my cock out a bunch of college aged guys came in. They looked like Frat boys with their hats turned backwards. They recognized me and started hanging around me, telling me how funny I was, what a good set it was etc. I didn't want to seem impolite, but I did have my cock out and was trying to piss. "Hey guys, thanks for the compliments but how about I buy you some beers when we're all back at the bar? I am trying to take a leak here!" I suggested. They took the hint and agreed. Though not before one of the guys looked down to see my dick. "Holy shit dude, what do you feed that thing?!" That made them all look. Now, instead of my comedy, they were fascinated by my cock. I've zero issues with how anyone wants to live their life or wherever they wanna stick their whatever but I'm straight. I love big tits and big asses and I'm not ashamed to admit it. Plus, my cock has gotten this reaction before, though usually from women. "Thanks guys, I grew it myself," I said stuffing it back in my pants and trying to laugh the attention off. "See you back at the bar, yeah?" I pushed past them to wash my hands and leave. "Hey buddy, do you want a bump?" One of the frat boys offered as I was leaving. "Not tonight, thanks! Maybe next time!" Back at the bar, I was ordering another beer when Mandy tapped me on the shoulder. I looked around but she was looking past me. She nodded at the bartender and two beers appeared in front of us. I tried to pay but Mandy said they were on her. I offered my bottle for a clink. "Cheers," I said. She reciprocated and took a swig. She never broke eye contact. Badass. I looked around the joint, it was small but kinda classy. Ok, less classy and more dingy, but not entirely dingy! The walls were black with red waves painted on them and the ubiquitous photos of famous stand-ups who had passed through these hallowed gallows. The beer, my desire for Mandy and my heart-rate was inhibiting my game. "So, you been doing this long?" I asked, desperate to continue the conversation. "Yeah, a few years now. It pays the bills and it's the kind of hours I like to work. Plus, I dig funny guys." she smirked. I nearly choked on my beer. "Do you now?" I replied, trying to act cool. "Yeah, and we're close to the college so business is usually pretty good." I nodded along. "So have YOU been doing this long?" She waved her hand in the general direction of the stage. "Comedy? Oh, this is my fourth open night. First one here and none of the others went as well as this one. Maybe cos you weren't there?" She smiled slyly. I was 100% sure she could see straight through my bullshit. But hopefully she felt the same. Mandy ordered more drinks and while her back was turned the Frat boys from the restroom showed up. They were still slapping my back and calling me dude. They looked high and drunk. I doubt if they'd remember any of my set the next night. I felt a million years old compared to these guys. But I honored my promise and ordered them a round of drinks. From out of nowhere, the Frat boys produced a young woman, barely 21 years old and tiny. Well, not tiny everywhere, maybe a C cup, but slim, big eyed and iron-straight blonde hair. But she was not even close to Mandy's, which were about DDD. She looked nervous, possibly drunk. "Hi, are you ok?" I tried to sound encouraging. "I heard you have a big one", she said quietly. The frat boys burst out laughing. Her face reddened but she kept looking at me. Then looked at my crotch, then back to me. I raised my eyebrows. "A big...?" I asked, not believing she was actually talking about that. "COCK" she practically shouted. The frat boys howled some more. She looked at them then back at me. Usually the women I hooked up with were way closer to my age. "Ok. And say I do, what then?" I really wanted out of this conversation but didn't know how to extricate myself. And of course that's when Mandy joins in, she handed me a full bottle of beer. "Who are there lovely, young people David?" she was smiling but I could tell she was happy. I tried to play it off as coolly as I could. "They're just saying how much they enjoyed the show" I said. "Yeah," one of the Frat boys shouted, "the show in the john!" "You put on a show in the restroom?" Mandy said, raising an eyebrow. "I was taking a leak and..." I started. "Man, this guy is hung!" one of the drunker Frat boys shouted. "He's got a fucking anaconda in his pants!" "One of the biggest I've ever seen," said another. "We told Kendra about it and she wanted to see for herself. So come on, dude, whip it out!" the guy who saw it first said. I looked at Mandy, pleading. I wanted to hook up with her and I had a pretty good feeling that if I showed this group my johnson she'd bail. "I'm sorry guys, that's not my thing," I said trying to turn away. To my surprise Mandy stood still. "Are you sure?" she said, folding her arms under her huge breasts, making them test the fabric of the top she was wearing. This really threw me for a loop. "Well, I wouldn't mind showing you... but not in public! And let's be honest guys," I said looking at the Frat boys, "You've already had a look." "If you can show me, you can show her," Mandy said, nodding at Kendra. "Will this affect my chances...?" before I could finish Mandy was pulling me backstage. Kendra came following after, tottering in her high heel shoes. So there we were, the three of us in the tiny, bare dressing room I had been about thirty minutes before. Mandy seemed kinda pissed and Kendra was still looking high. "Ok, out with it," Mandy ordered. "Y'know, I hoped we'd hook up tonight but didn't think it'd go like this," I said, joking. Mandy didn't look impressed. "In fact, before I do whip it out... did I have a chance?" "Quit the yakking!" Mandy said, slapping me playfully on the chest. "Ok, ok!" I said, unbuckling my belt and opening and unzipping my jeans. I shook them down to my knees so they could get a view of what I/it looked like in my tight white boxer shorts. Kendra squealed but I didn't really care about her reaction. I looked up at Mandy. She was staring right at my bulging underwear. She glanced up at me. "And the rest!" I paused. "Hang on, if I measure up, will you book me in for another night?" Always gotta be hustling, you know! "We'll see when we see!" Mandy waggled her finger, telling me to pull down the boxers. I peeled the underwear off me, down to meet my jeans at the knee. While still bent over, I jerked my flaccid cock a few times, letting it decompress after being squashed in the boxers. I stood up straight, clenched my butt cheeks and pushed my hips slightly forward. I wanted to give a good first impression. Mandy gasped and covered her mouth with her hand. "Oh my god!" Kendra screamed! "It's freaking huge!" She stepped forward fell on to her knees right in front of me. She was looking directly at my cock. She took a hold of it in one hand and lifted it. She couldn't get one hand around the shaft even when it was soft. She looked up at me in shock. "Wait till it gets hard!" I said. "It certainly is very big, David!" Mandy looked from Kendra and my cock up to me. "Very impressive!" Kendra put my cock against her face. "It's so soft and smooth and warm," she said. "I'm glad you like," I said, not taking my eyes off Mandy. "I haven't tried it yet," she replied smirking. "You're more than welcome to, whenever you want!" I shot back. "Take off your shirt," Mandy ordered me. I unbuttoned two buttons and whipped it off over my head. "Would you do me the same courtesy?" I nodded at Mandy's impressive chest. "We'll see!" her smirk turning to a full blown smile. I looked down and Kendra had taken off her turquoise top, revealing her C cup boobs were more like small Bs but with padding. That made me want Mandy all the more! Kendra was now stroking my cock with both hands and licking the head. I was starting to get hard. My cock was lengthening and thickening. Kendra put the head of it in her mouth. I was trying to keep eye contact with Mandy but the pleasure made me close my eyes in bliss. Before I knew it, Mandy was standing right beside me. Her huge breasts pressing against my chest. The two of us looking down at the young woman struggling to get my cock into her mouth. One hand on my shoulder, the other holding my chin Mandy kissed me deeply, fiercely. I kissed her back. I pulled her closer to me, one hand squeezing her ass. She moaned into me. Kendra was still sucking the thick head of my cock, running her hands up and down my shaft. She was struggling with the size but it felt amazing. I was getting harder than I had been in a long time. This was the first time I had been with more than one woman. A cute little slut sucking my cock and a busty woman my own age grinding up on me. I broke the kiss with Mandy but still held her close. "What are we going to do?" I spoke softly. Mandy reached down to my crotch and took a hold of my balls. "Well, I think we're going to have to take care of these! Kendra, lick his balls!" Mandy ordered the younger woman around. And Kendra followed the orders! This could be interesting! She took my cock out of her mouth, having to open wide just to disengage, lifted the shaft up and licked my huge heavy balls. It felt so good. "Mmmmm, you like that, don't you, you horse hung stud! Mandy said, pulling my hair. "Yes!" I squeaked. She licked my neck, sending a jolt down my spine. "Get undressed," Mandy said turning her attention to Kendra. "You're going to take his cock." I looked at Mandy, shocked. I'm not gonna lie, I was a little disappointed that I wasn't going to get to fuck Mandy. Kendra let go of my cock, making it fall and pull me forward with a twang. She stood up and took off the rest of her clothes. She was slimmer than she looked in them. I looked over to Mandy with all her curves and wanted to grab her and fuck her hard. She took out a silver case from her back pocket, opened it and tapped out a line of white powder on my cock. "Coke?" I asked. "Well, it ain't Viagra!" she said as she bent over and sniffed the fat line off my fat cock. She whipped her head back, holding her nostrils closed. Her eyes bulged, she grabbed me and kissed me. I hoped all my open mic nights like this! "You are going to put that," she said, pointing at my cock "there!" pointing at the poor Kendra's tiny pussy. She sniffed again. "If she can survive that thing, I'll give it a go!" My cock began tingling and could feel it getting harder. I was also getting a rush. Must've been from the coke. I had never done it before so this was all new to me. "Kendra, you get on the couch, he's gonna fuck you with that donkey dick of his." Mandy was totally in control now. Kendra did as she was told and got on the couch. She scooched forward so her ass was hanging off the edge, her puffy pussy lips ready for fucking. "Kneel in front of her," Mandy instructed me, her eyes wide. I was in no mood to argue. If I couldn't fuck Mandy, I was going to fuck the shit out of this little slut. I kneeled in front of her, the size difference becoming real. I was taller and bigger than Kendra in every way and my cock was gonna find it tough to even get inside. Mandy sat beside Kendra to get a good view. She pulled her top down and lifted one of her huge breasts out. It looked amazing, so big and soft. She pulled Kendra's head towards it and Kendra took the hint. She started sucking the little nib of a nipple. Mandy unbuttoned her jeans with one hand and started rubbing herself. She looked at me, so sultry and sexy. "Fuck her," she ordered. What choice did I have! I pushed my rock hard cock forward straight into Kendra's slit. Of course I was way too wide. I looked at Mandy, pleading. She took her hand out of her jeans, licked her fingers and reached down. She took the head of my cock in her hand and smeared my pre-cum with the mix of her pussy juice and saliva, making a home made lube. It also felt amazing! "Now! Fuck! Her!" she barked, going back to rubbing herself. I looked at Kendra, lucky enough to be sucking that huge tit. I was so jealous. I pushed my cock head into her, her cunt lips stretch around my helmet. Eventually, it popped inside her, making Kendra gasp and lose Mandy's tit she was sucking. I smirked to myself. Kendra squealed but Mandy pulled her head back to her huge boob. I ploughed further into Kendra's tiny cunt, pushing my thick cock further into her, inch by inch. I looked down and saw Kendra's pubes were shaved into a neat heart shape but all it made me think of was Mandy's pubes. I hoped they were raven black like the hair on her head. I wanted to lick Mandy's pussy, I wanted to dive between her legs and eat forever. My cock was nearly halfway into Kendra's pussy. The combination of my cock and her tit sucking was getting her nice and wet, making it feel nice and slippery for me. She was moaning and crying but Mandy's huge tit was smothering the sounds. I reached up and grabbed her B cup out of habit but it barely filled my palm. I let go of her Kendra's tit and reach out for Mandy's. She slapped my hand away. "Keep fucking her," she said, delirious in pleasure. It felt like I couldn't get any more of my cock into Kendra, my thickness stretching her pussy lips obscenely. She pulled her face away from Mandy's breast. "It's too big, it's tearing me!" she cried. I kept fucking her and I reached down and rubbed her clit. I probably should have done that from the start because as soon as I did she went fucking wild! Mandy looked at me, surprised. Kendra pushed my hand away and rubbed her own clit. She was getting crazy wet. I pushed further and further in. Now I was nearly all the way in, only an inch or two not inside her. Mandy pulled her back to suckle on her soft breast and I gave one last thrust in. All of my cock was in Kendra now. Her hand rubbed her clit like crazy and she came. She clamped her legs together and her body spasmed. The orgasm jolted through her. She kept one hand on her clit and she let go of Mandy's breast, letting her face rest against it. Mandy and I were taken by surprise so we just let her ride it out and then catch her breath. "You ok?" Mandy asked, seemingly genuine. Kendra was still shaking, my cock still buried all the way in her. "Mmm," was all she could say, her eyes closed. "I have never come like that before!" I moved backwards, trying to remove my still diamond hard cock from her clamp like pussy. Kendra complained. "No, don't take it out!! Fuck me again! Please!" "See, not only did she survive it, she's looking for seconds," I said to Mandy, really hoping I could still hook up with her. She eyed me, deciding something. "Ok, you guys tidy up here and once the bar is closed up, you and I will come back here. Deal?" she said taking her hand from her jeans, offering it for a handshake. "Deal," I said. Instead of shaking her hand, I took her hand in my mouth and sucked the pussy juice from her fingers. Mandy laughed to herself, stood up and tidied herself. She put her huge boob back in the bra and straightened her clothes. She checked herself in the mirror and left. "Have fun, you two!" she said. I watched her ass as she left. Man, I really wanted to get inside those jeans, I thought to myself. For the time being I would have to take my frustration out on poor little Kendra, though she didn't seem to mind! By  nectarines_are_peachy for Literotica.

David auditions with young slut to win a bigger prize. By nectarines_are_peachy. Listen to the Podcast  at Steamy Stories. The crowd was howling with laughter. I stood there, mic in one hand, beer bottle in the other and examined them. I had the biggest of grins on my face. I couldn't see much with the lights in my eyes and the audience in darkness but their laughter, bending double and slamming tables told me all I needed to know. I had used up all my good material so I decided I would just duck out. Always leave them wanting more, you know? [[MORE]] "My name is David Andies and you guys have been a wonderful fucking audience!" I shouted into the mic as I reset it in the stand. I stepped off stage and the crowd burst in to applause and whistling. Mandy, the MC, was standing just off stage. She looked at me, her mouth wide open. "Honestly dude, I did not expect you to be so fucking funny!" she said. She was just staring at me, not blinking. I hadn't been to many open mic nights but none of them had gone like this. I could feel the adrenaline just fucking pumping through me. My heart felt like it was going to burst through my chest. I needed a piss, badly. "Don't you go on to introduce the next act?" I asked, trying desperately to hold in my piss and not check Mandy out at the same time. She was my age, mid 30s, and had a great figure. Huge ass, lovely big boobs and curly black shoulder length hair. She was a good bit shorter than my 6 foot 2 so I had a lovely view of her cleavage. The things I'd do to her! The beer was definitely having an affect on me. "Nah, dude. I don't think anyone can follow that for a while. I'll just say there's an intermission," she winked at me before bouncing back out on to the stage. As I headed for the toilet I heard Mandy praise the shit out of me and announce a 30 minute hiatus on the comedy for people to get drinks, go for a smoke or whatever. She was letting some of the energy out of the room to give the next guy a bit of a chance. Standing at the urinal with my cock out a bunch of college aged guys came in. They looked like Frat boys with their hats turned backwards. They recognized me and started hanging around me, telling me how funny I was, what a good set it was etc. I didn't want to seem impolite, but I did have my cock out and was trying to piss. "Hey guys, thanks for the compliments but how about I buy you some beers when we're all back at the bar? I am trying to take a leak here!" I suggested. They took the hint and agreed. Though not before one of the guys looked down to see my dick. "Holy shit dude, what do you feed that thing?!" That made them all look. Now, instead of my comedy, they were fascinated by my cock. I've zero issues with how anyone wants to live their life or wherever they wanna stick their whatever but I'm straight. I love big tits and big asses and I'm not ashamed to admit it. Plus, my cock has gotten this reaction before, though usually from women. "Thanks guys, I grew it myself," I said stuffing it back in my pants and trying to laugh the attention off. "See you back at the bar, yeah?" I pushed past them to wash my hands and leave. "Hey buddy, do you want a bump?" One of the frat boys offered as I was leaving. "Not tonight, thanks! Maybe next time!" Back at the bar, I was ordering another beer when Mandy tapped me on the shoulder. I looked around but she was looking past me. She nodded at the bartender and two beers appeared in front of us. I tried to pay but Mandy said they were on her. I offered my bottle for a clink. "Cheers," I said. She reciprocated and took a swig. She never broke eye contact. Badass. I looked around the joint, it was small but kinda classy. Ok, less classy and more dingy, but not entirely dingy! The walls were black with red waves painted on them and the ubiquitous photos of famous stand-ups who had passed through these hallowed gallows. The beer, my desire for Mandy and my heart-rate was inhibiting my game. "So, you been doing this long?" I asked, desperate to continue the conversation. "Yeah, a few years now. It pays the bills and it's the kind of hours I like to work. Plus, I dig funny guys." she smirked. I nearly choked on my beer. "Do you now?" I replied, trying to act cool. "Yeah, and we're close to the college so business is usually pretty good." I nodded along. "So have YOU been doing this long?" She waved her hand in the general direction of the stage. "Comedy? Oh, this is my fourth open night. First one here and none of the others went as well as this one. Maybe cos you weren't there?" She smiled slyly. I was 100% sure she could see straight through my bullshit. But hopefully she felt the same. Mandy ordered more drinks and while her back was turned the Frat boys from the restroom showed up. They were still slapping my back and calling me dude. They looked high and drunk. I doubt if they'd remember any of my set the next night. I felt a million years old compared to these guys. But I honored my promise and ordered them a round of drinks. From out of nowhere, the Frat boys produced a young woman, barely 21 years old and tiny. Well, not tiny everywhere, maybe a C cup, but slim, big eyed and iron-straight blonde hair. But she was not even close to Mandy's, which were about DDD. She looked nervous, possibly drunk. "Hi, are you ok?" I tried to sound encouraging. "I heard you have a big one", she said quietly. The frat boys burst out laughing. Her face reddened but she kept looking at me. Then looked at my crotch, then back to me. I raised my eyebrows. "A big...?" I asked, not believing she was actually talking about that. "COCK" she practically shouted. The frat boys howled some more. She looked at them then back at me. Usually the women I hooked up with were way closer to my age. "Ok. And say I do, what then?" I really wanted out of this conversation but didn't know how to extricate myself. And of course that's when Mandy joins in, she handed me a full bottle of beer. "Who are there lovely, young people David?" she was smiling but I could tell she was happy. I tried to play it off as coolly as I could. "They're just saying how much they enjoyed the show" I said. "Yeah," one of the Frat boys shouted, "the show in the john!" "You put on a show in the restroom?" Mandy said, raising an eyebrow. "I was taking a leak and..." I started. "Man, this guy is hung!" one of the drunker Frat boys shouted. "He's got a fucking anaconda in his pants!" "One of the biggest I've ever seen," said another. "We told Kendra about it and she wanted to see for herself. So come on, dude, whip it out!" the guy who saw it first said. I looked at Mandy, pleading. I wanted to hook up with her and I had a pretty good feeling that if I showed this group my johnson she'd bail. "I'm sorry guys, that's not my thing," I said trying to turn away. To my surprise Mandy stood still. "Are you sure?" she said, folding her arms under her huge breasts, making them test the fabric of the top she was wearing. This really threw me for a loop. "Well, I wouldn't mind showing you... but not in public! And let's be honest guys," I said looking at the Frat boys, "You've already had a look." "If you can show me, you can show her," Mandy said, nodding at Kendra. "Will this affect my chances...?" before I could finish Mandy was pulling me backstage. Kendra came following after, tottering in her high heel shoes. So there we were, the three of us in the tiny, bare dressing room I had been about thirty minutes before. Mandy seemed kinda pissed and Kendra was still looking high. "Ok, out with it," Mandy ordered. "Y'know, I hoped we'd hook up tonight but didn't think it'd go like this," I said, joking. Mandy didn't look impressed. "In fact, before I do whip it out... did I have a chance?" "Quit the yakking!" Mandy said, slapping me playfully on the chest. "Ok, ok!" I said, unbuckling my belt and opening and unzipping my jeans. I shook them down to my knees so they could get a view of what I/it looked like in my tight white boxer shorts. Kendra squealed but I didn't really care about her reaction. I looked up at Mandy. She was staring right at my bulging underwear. She glanced up at me. "And the rest!" I paused. "Hang on, if I measure up, will you book me in for another night?" Always gotta be hustling, you know! "We'll see when we see!" Mandy waggled her finger, telling me to pull down the boxers. I peeled the underwear off me, down to meet my jeans at the knee. While still bent over, I jerked my flaccid cock a few times, letting it decompress after being squashed in the boxers. I stood up straight, clenched my butt cheeks and pushed my hips slightly forward. I wanted to give a good first impression. Mandy gasped and covered her mouth with her hand. "Oh my god!" Kendra screamed! "It's freaking huge!" She stepped forward fell on to her knees right in front of me. She was looking directly at my cock. She took a hold of it in one hand and lifted it. She couldn't get one hand around the shaft even when it was soft. She looked up at me in shock. "Wait till it gets hard!" I said. "It certainly is very big, David!" Mandy looked from Kendra and my cock up to me. "Very impressive!" Kendra put my cock against her face. "It's so soft and smooth and warm," she said. "I'm glad you like," I said, not taking my eyes off Mandy. "I haven't tried it yet," she replied smirking. "You're more than welcome to, whenever you want!" I shot back. "Take off your shirt," Mandy ordered me. I unbuttoned two buttons and whipped it off over my head. "Would you do me the same courtesy?" I nodded at Mandy's impressive chest. "We'll see!" her smirk turning to a full blown smile. I looked down and Kendra had taken off her turquoise top, revealing her C cup boobs were more like small Bs but with padding. That made me want Mandy all the more! Kendra was now stroking my cock with both hands and licking the head. I was starting to get hard. My cock was lengthening and thickening. Kendra put the head of it in her mouth. I was trying to keep eye contact with Mandy but the pleasure made me close my eyes in bliss. Before I knew it, Mandy was standing right beside me. Her huge breasts pressing against my chest. The two of us looking down at the young woman struggling to get my cock into her mouth. One hand on my shoulder, the other holding my chin Mandy kissed me deeply, fiercely. I kissed her back. I pulled her closer to me, one hand squeezing her ass. She moaned into me. Kendra was still sucking the thick head of my cock, running her hands up and down my shaft. She was struggling with the size but it felt amazing. I was getting harder than I had been in a long time. This was the first time I had been with more than one woman. A cute little slut sucking my cock and a busty woman my own age grinding up on me. I broke the kiss with Mandy but still held her close. "What are we going to do?" I spoke softly. Mandy reached down to my crotch and took a hold of my balls. "Well, I think we're going to have to take care of these! Kendra, lick his balls!" Mandy ordered the younger woman around. And Kendra followed the orders! This could be interesting! She took my cock out of her mouth, having to open wide just to disengage, lifted the shaft up and licked my huge heavy balls. It felt so good. "Mmmmm, you like that, don't you, you horse hung stud! Mandy said, pulling my hair. "Yes!" I squeaked. She licked my neck, sending a jolt down my spine. "Get undressed," Mandy said turning her attention to Kendra. "You're going to take his cock." I looked at Mandy, shocked. I'm not gonna lie, I was a little disappointed that I wasn't going to get to fuck Mandy. Kendra let go of my cock, making it fall and pull me forward with a twang. She stood up and took off the rest of her clothes. She was slimmer than she looked in them. I looked over to Mandy with all her curves and wanted to grab her and fuck her hard. She took out a silver case from her back pocket, opened it and tapped out a line of white powder on my cock. "Coke?" I asked. "Well, it ain't Viagra!" she said as she bent over and sniffed the fat line off my fat cock. She whipped her head back, holding her nostrils closed. Her eyes bulged, she grabbed me and kissed me. I hoped all my open mic nights like this! "You are going to put that," she said, pointing at my cock "there!" pointing at the poor Kendra's tiny pussy. She sniffed again. "If she can survive that thing, I'll give it a go!" My cock began tingling and could feel it getting harder. I was also getting a rush. Must've been from the coke. I had never done it before so this was all new to me. "Kendra, you get on the couch, he's gonna fuck you with that donkey dick of his." Mandy was totally in control now. Kendra did as she was told and got on the couch. She scooched forward so her ass was hanging off the edge, her puffy pussy lips ready for fucking. "Kneel in front of her," Mandy instructed me, her eyes wide. I was in no mood to argue. If I couldn't fuck Mandy, I was going to fuck the shit out of this little slut. I kneeled in front of her, the size difference becoming real. I was taller and bigger than Kendra in every way and my cock was gonna find it tough to even get inside. Mandy sat beside Kendra to get a good view. She pulled her top down and lifted one of her huge breasts out. It looked amazing, so big and soft. She pulled Kendra's head towards it and Kendra took the hint. She started sucking the little nib of a nipple. Mandy unbuttoned her jeans with one hand and started rubbing herself. She looked at me, so sultry and sexy. "Fuck her," she ordered. What choice did I have! I pushed my rock hard cock forward straight into Kendra's slit. Of course I was way too wide. I looked at Mandy, pleading. She took her hand out of her jeans, licked her fingers and reached down. She took the head of my cock in her hand and smeared my pre-cum with the mix of her pussy juice and saliva, making a home made lube. It also felt amazing! "Now! Fuck! Her!" she barked, going back to rubbing herself. I looked at Kendra, lucky enough to be sucking that huge tit. I was so jealous. I pushed my cock head into her, her cunt lips stretch around my helmet. Eventually, it popped inside her, making Kendra gasp and lose Mandy's tit she was sucking. I smirked to myself. Kendra squealed but Mandy pulled her head back to her huge boob. I ploughed further into Kendra's tiny cunt, pushing my thick cock further into her, inch by inch. I looked down and saw Kendra's pubes were shaved into a neat heart shape but all it made me think of was Mandy's pubes. I hoped they were raven black like the hair on her head. I wanted to lick Mandy's pussy, I wanted to dive between her legs and eat forever. My cock was nearly halfway into Kendra's pussy. The combination of my cock and her tit sucking was getting her nice and wet, making it feel nice and slippery for me. She was moaning and crying but Mandy's huge tit was smothering the sounds. I reached up and grabbed her B cup out of habit but it barely filled my palm. I let go of her Kendra's tit and reach out for Mandy's. She slapped my hand away. "Keep fucking her," she said, delirious in pleasure. It felt like I couldn't get any more of my cock into Kendra, my thickness stretching her pussy lips obscenely. She pulled her face away from Mandy's breast. "It's too big, it's tearing me!" she cried. I kept fucking her and I reached down and rubbed her clit. I probably should have done that from the start because as soon as I did she went fucking wild! Mandy looked at me, surprised. Kendra pushed my hand away and rubbed her own clit. She was getting crazy wet. I pushed further and further in. Now I was nearly all the way in, only an inch or two not inside her. Mandy pulled her back to suckle on her soft breast and I gave one last thrust in. All of my cock was in Kendra now. Her hand rubbed her clit like crazy and she came. She clamped her legs together and her body spasmed. The orgasm jolted through her. She kept one hand on her clit and she let go of Mandy's breast, letting her face rest against it. Mandy and I were taken by surprise so we just let her ride it out and then catch her breath. "You ok?" Mandy asked, seemingly genuine. Kendra was still shaking, my cock still buried all the way in her. "Mmm," was all she could say, her eyes closed. "I have never come like that before!" I moved backwards, trying to remove my still diamond hard cock from her clamp like pussy. Kendra complained. "No, don't take it out!! Fuck me again! Please!" "See, not only did she survive it, she's looking for seconds," I said to Mandy, really hoping I could still hook up with her. She eyed me, deciding something. "Ok, you guys tidy up here and once the bar is closed up, you and I will come back here. Deal?" she said taking her hand from her jeans, offering it for a handshake. "Deal," I said. Instead of shaking her hand, I took her hand in my mouth and sucked the pussy juice from her fingers. Mandy laughed to herself, stood up and tidied herself. She put her huge boob back in the bra and straightened her clothes. She checked herself in the mirror and left. "Have fun, you two!" she said. I watched her ass as she left. Man, I really wanted to get inside those jeans, I thought to myself. For the time being I would have to take my frustration out on poor little Kendra, though she didn't seem to mind! By  nectarines_are_peachy for Literotica.

Reminiscing about a past tryst of amazing sex and orgasms. by JackOfDiamonds. Listen to the Podcast at Steamy Stories Full Title: My Most Powerful Orgasms : Morning Sex With Maria I recall the "Wonder Years" of early adulthood, the time when I had graduated college, had an apartment of my own and my first real "career" job. It was an exciting time when the small struggles of independence had a feeling of freshness and fun. [[MORE]] It was the mid 90's - I doubt anyone living in that era would refer to it as simple. When I look back today I see there was a simple innocence to not maybe the time, but within myself. I was working at a third shift Operations Center. The job was in the emerging tech field, yet like everything overnight there are busy times and slow times. The Center was functional, but was also a show piece for our technology built with mock-up settings of Airplanes, trains, and limousines. [[MORE]] Every once in a while I would get a knock at my security door, and it would be a manager or executive bringing a date to show them the mock airline. I'll save those stories for another time... I was young, the job was fun, yet socializing was tough since I moved to a new city and worked an overnight shift. I simply was not meeting anyone new. Since the Center was such a cool place, when I would start my shift (around 8PM) there were usually a few employees hanging-out. My section was an area where smoking was permitted (yes believe it or not you could smoke in offices in the mid-90's), so people would naturally gravitate to my work area. We were a young company with relatively young employees, several of my coworkers became my closest friends at the time. One night while we were sitting around one of the sales guys was asking me how my dating life was going, and I laughingly said it wasn't. He brought out a phone/newspaper/personals section from a local paper. I felt a little weird but with some coaxing I set-up an ad and a voice mailbox. I met a couple of women through the service, the odd part is that all the women I talked to said they were busy professionals. The two I met in person were attractive. The second of which became my girlfriend, and that's where this particular story will focus. So I met Maria through the newspaper personals. We had been dating for a month, after talking on the phone to "get-to-know" each other for a week or so prior to dating. I got into a groove where I would get to work around 8PM, establish order, knock out what I could immediately then Maria would call around 9PM before she went to bed. I was working Friday night into Saturday morning, and Maria wanted me to come over first thing in the morning. I would typically get out of work around 6AM, and hopefully there would be light morning rush hour traffic because it was the weekend. I would be driving towards the city, so sometimes it could be hit-or-miss on how long it takes to get to her place. Maria lived in an apartment over a small row of shops. She had a couple neighbors but the place was always quiet, and calm. I liked going to her place after work because I could usually sleep well with little disturbances. However she made it clear to me that I would not be allowed to sleep when I got there. This particular evening I called Maria around 9PM. She told me she was excited to see me in the morning, since it had been a long week for both of us and our schedules did not permit us to see each other (she worked a day shift). Maria had subtle ways of talking seductively, without being overtly "dirty", yet saying things in just the right way to get the blood rushing. She would use softly spoken expressions sometimes mixed with a blunt reality. Her voice was low, yet not husky, but always very sexy to me. This call she told me that she was wearing my shirt to bed, and my scent was fading. She needed me to come over so she could bury her face in me. She told me she was excited to see me in the morning, and that I should call right before I leave so she knows when I may be getting there. We hung up after our brief call, and I went about my work night. During the night, knowing I would be going to Maria's I made a second pot of coffee. By the time my relief arrived, I was coffee wired. The solitude made for a weird physical feeling of being tired from the length of a long week, yet wanting nothing more than to be with Maria. I gave her a quick call. She was waking up while on the phone and told me to drive safe and she would be waiting. I drove towards the rising sun, the traffic was a typical rush hour weekend. I made it to Maria's about 30 minutes after leaving the office. I was wired, I was tired, and I was horny. I walked quickly up the stairs to Maria's apartment, it was a quiet morning, and the sunlight was low, making the hallway glow. I knocked on the door, Maria must have heard me coming up the stairs as the door started to open immediately as my knuckles left the door. Maria was wearing my shirt. It was a plain white t-shirt that draped her like a dress. Maria has an extremely small frame and was just under 5 feet tall. Back before Shakira found international fame, she was a young dark haired beauty you would see on the local spanish speaking networks. I would often stop in my tracks, because she could have been Maria's twin. Maria had a smile that was always like a smirk, and when she smiled it made my insides flutter, she looked up at me and softly said, hey.... (in her low alto seductiveness) I swooped down and kissed her, with a passionate needy kiss that was returned with the same desire. I knew I wanted Maria, but being in her presence again lit me on fire! I couldn't pull my lips back from hers for even a moment. I pulled her up tight to me as I kept kissing her with a deep neediness - I was walking forward as she was walking backwards. We made it quickly through her living room and stopped when we hit her kitchen counter. I pulled her up and set her on the counter as I continued to roll my tongue in her mouth. Our kisses were so passionate they crept to the edge of looking violet, but always felt so reassuring, as her passion raged to the same height as mine. As I kissed her, I pulled off her panties. And let them fall the the kitchen floor. I then reached around from letting my hand quickly move down her small soft patch of hair to her soft wet lips, I easily entered her with a soft slide of my first and second fingers into her. I loved the way Maria felt inside. She was soft and her wetness was slick and smooth. As I felt her excitement, mine was raging in my pants. I could feel my cock throbbing. All the time we were kissing, sucking ravenously from our lips to our necks, back to our mouths. Maria unbuckled my belt and unzipped my jeans. Her hand quickly grabbed my cock and was stroking me fast and hard. My cock was slick with my own precum, I couldn't control how my juices flowed for Maria. Our passion was boiling in the moment; I pulled her a little closer to me, so she was sitting on the very edge of the counter as I entered her. Mmmmm, I moaned as I felt her slick warmness engulf me, I held her close, and she held me tighter. Her moans were in rhythm with her breathing which was becoming shallow and fast. Maria rapidly moved her hand off of me for a moment to pull off her shirt. She grabbed my shirt and pulled it off too. She pushed her bare chest against mine and I could feel her swollen nipples warmly against me. I pulled her off of the counter, she was wrapped around me tightly with my cock still deep in her. I walked her from the kitchen, around the corner to her bed. I kicked off my shoes, and she started pulling my jeans down further. I manager to kick them off the rest of the way while still inside her, and still rocking and pumping. I could feel Maria getting wetter. She would get so wet and turned on I would feel slick from my belly button to my balls - It turned me on sooo much! I was so hard inside her as we kissed and sucked, I loved sucking Maria's lips, and her neck. II rolled my back as I flexed inside her, she pulled away to announce, "I'm coming!", followed by oh, oh, oh! I kept rocking into Maria, I held her legs up a little higher as I pushed deep slowly riding through her orgasm. Usually I'm quick on the trigger with Maria, yet I can fuck through my refactory stage to get her off. Not today, the long shift and extra coffee had me wired. I kept rolling with her, she latched on to my nipple sucking it hard in her mouth as I plunged into her, and then it happened again, she announced, "I'm Cumming AGAIN!" with a long low ahhhhh, that followed. I rode her orgasm, feeling her wonderful contractings on my throbbing cock, as she rolled her hips I looked down and seeing me deep in her was a magnificent sight.. She then stopped, and told me to roll off of her, so I did. I could tell she was racked with the sensation of her orgasms and tipping over the point of being over stimulated and needing a momentary break. I laid on my back, and Maria rolled on me. She lowered her hand and mouth to my glistening cock. I'm an average sized man, yet Maria was tiny, her little hands made me look huge. The visual was amazing. At that moment she was the most beautiful woman on the planet. She held my cock and would make small little tugs with her hand as she sucked rhythmically on the top third. My head was in her mouth and the soft sensitive area just underneath was being rolled on by her tongue. Maria didn't bob her head when she went down, she would slowly lower and raise as she sucked, her hand would make small tugs upward as if she was trying to milk me into her mouth. And did that ever work! I started to grunt "I'm gonna cum!" Maria started quickening the pace of her sucking and pulling, and with that I started to clench all over. My orgasm hit hard and felt like my body was a bass drum beating boom, boom, boom, with each pulse of the cum leaving my body. I couldn't see my orgasm as she kept tight to me sucking it down, the intensity was overwhelming, I clenched and felt like I was being electrified with intensity and pleasure. I could hear the beating in my ear with each jut of cum leaving me. The intensity of the pleasure grew so much, that after it felt as though I shot my final load, I had to pull Maria off of me. She fell on me, her hair on my arm, her lips on my chest, kissing my chest, and moaning in a low alto. I laid there, feeling my pulse fast, as I rolled my fingers through her hair. We were both speechless. The morning was still quiet and glowing as I held Maria, drifting into a slow session of holding each other in complete satisfaction. To date that was one of the most powerful orgasms I had ever felt in my life. As Maria and I would reminisce she would often tell me her orgasms with me were the strongest she has ever had.   by JackOfDiamonds for Literotica

Reminiscing about a past tryst of amazing sex and orgasms. by JackOfDiamonds. Listen to the Podcast at Steamy Stories Full Title: My Most Powerful Orgasms : Morning Sex With Maria I recall the "Wonder Years" of early adulthood, the time when I had graduated college, had an apartment of my own and my first real "career" job. It was an exciting time when the small struggles of independence had a feeling of freshness and fun. [[MORE]] It was the mid 90's - I doubt anyone living in that era would refer to it as simple. When I look back today I see there was a simple innocence to not maybe the time, but within myself. I was working at a third shift Operations Center. The job was in the emerging tech field, yet like everything overnight there are busy times and slow times. The Center was functional, but was also a show piece for our technology built with mock-up settings of Airplanes, trains, and limousines. [[MORE]] Every once in a while I would get a knock at my security door, and it would be a manager or executive bringing a date to show them the mock airline. I'll save those stories for another time... I was young, the job was fun, yet socializing was tough since I moved to a new city and worked an overnight shift. I simply was not meeting anyone new. Since the Center was such a cool place, when I would start my shift (around 8PM) there were usually a few employees hanging-out. My section was an area where smoking was permitted (yes believe it or not you could smoke in offices in the mid-90's), so people would naturally gravitate to my work area. We were a young company with relatively young employees, several of my coworkers became my closest friends at the time. One night while we were sitting around one of the sales guys was asking me how my dating life was going, and I laughingly said it wasn't. He brought out a phone/newspaper/personals section from a local paper. I felt a little weird but with some coaxing I set-up an ad and a voice mailbox. I met a couple of women through the service, the odd part is that all the women I talked to said they were busy professionals. The two I met in person were attractive. The second of which became my girlfriend, and that's where this particular story will focus. So I met Maria through the newspaper personals. We had been dating for a month, after talking on the phone to "get-to-know" each other for a week or so prior to dating. I got into a groove where I would get to work around 8PM, establish order, knock out what I could immediately then Maria would call around 9PM before she went to bed. I was working Friday night into Saturday morning, and Maria wanted me to come over first thing in the morning. I would typically get out of work around 6AM, and hopefully there would be light morning rush hour traffic because it was the weekend. I would be driving towards the city, so sometimes it could be hit-or-miss on how long it takes to get to her place. Maria lived in an apartment over a small row of shops. She had a couple neighbors but the place was always quiet, and calm. I liked going to her place after work because I could usually sleep well with little disturbances. However she made it clear to me that I would not be allowed to sleep when I got there. This particular evening I called Maria around 9PM. She told me she was excited to see me in the morning, since it had been a long week for both of us and our schedules did not permit us to see each other (she worked a day shift). Maria had subtle ways of talking seductively, without being overtly "dirty", yet saying things in just the right way to get the blood rushing. She would use softly spoken expressions sometimes mixed with a blunt reality. Her voice was low, yet not husky, but always very sexy to me. This call she told me that she was wearing my shirt to bed, and my scent was fading. She needed me to come over so she could bury her face in me. She told me she was excited to see me in the morning, and that I should call right before I leave so she knows when I may be getting there. We hung up after our brief call, and I went about my work night. During the night, knowing I would be going to Maria's I made a second pot of coffee. By the time my relief arrived, I was coffee wired. The solitude made for a weird physical feeling of being tired from the length of a long week, yet wanting nothing more than to be with Maria. I gave her a quick call. She was waking up while on the phone and told me to drive safe and she would be waiting. I drove towards the rising sun, the traffic was a typical rush hour weekend. I made it to Maria's about 30 minutes after leaving the office. I was wired, I was tired, and I was horny. I walked quickly up the stairs to Maria's apartment, it was a quiet morning, and the sunlight was low, making the hallway glow. I knocked on the door, Maria must have heard me coming up the stairs as the door started to open immediately as my knuckles left the door. Maria was wearing my shirt. It was a plain white t-shirt that draped her like a dress. Maria has an extremely small frame and was just under 5 feet tall. Back before Shakira found international fame, she was a young dark haired beauty you would see on the local spanish speaking networks. I would often stop in my tracks, because she could have been Maria's twin. Maria had a smile that was always like a smirk, and when she smiled it made my insides flutter, she looked up at me and softly said, hey.... (in her low alto seductiveness) I swooped down and kissed her, with a passionate needy kiss that was returned with the same desire. I knew I wanted Maria, but being in her presence again lit me on fire! I couldn't pull my lips back from hers for even a moment. I pulled her up tight to me as I kept kissing her with a deep neediness - I was walking forward as she was walking backwards. We made it quickly through her living room and stopped when we hit her kitchen counter. I pulled her up and set her on the counter as I continued to roll my tongue in her mouth. Our kisses were so passionate they crept to the edge of looking violet, but always felt so reassuring, as her passion raged to the same height as mine. As I kissed her, I pulled off her panties. And let them fall the the kitchen floor. I then reached around from letting my hand quickly move down her small soft patch of hair to her soft wet lips, I easily entered her with a soft slide of my first and second fingers into her. I loved the way Maria felt inside. She was soft and her wetness was slick and smooth. As I felt her excitement, mine was raging in my pants. I could feel my cock throbbing. All the time we were kissing, sucking ravenously from our lips to our necks, back to our mouths. Maria unbuckled my belt and unzipped my jeans. Her hand quickly grabbed my cock and was stroking me fast and hard. My cock was slick with my own precum, I couldn't control how my juices flowed for Maria. Our passion was boiling in the moment; I pulled her a little closer to me, so she was sitting on the very edge of the counter as I entered her. Mmmmm, I moaned as I felt her slick warmness engulf me, I held her close, and she held me tighter. Her moans were in rhythm with her breathing which was becoming shallow and fast. Maria rapidly moved her hand off of me for a moment to pull off her shirt. She grabbed my shirt and pulled it off too. She pushed her bare chest against mine and I could feel her swollen nipples warmly against me. I pulled her off of the counter, she was wrapped around me tightly with my cock still deep in her. I walked her from the kitchen, around the corner to her bed. I kicked off my shoes, and she started pulling my jeans down further. I manager to kick them off the rest of the way while still inside her, and still rocking and pumping. I could feel Maria getting wetter. She would get so wet and turned on I would feel slick from my belly button to my balls - It turned me on sooo much! I was so hard inside her as we kissed and sucked, I loved sucking Maria's lips, and her neck. II rolled my back as I flexed inside her, she pulled away to announce, "I'm coming!", followed by oh, oh, oh! I kept rocking into Maria, I held her legs up a little higher as I pushed deep slowly riding through her orgasm. Usually I'm quick on the trigger with Maria, yet I can fuck through my refactory stage to get her off. Not today, the long shift and extra coffee had me wired. I kept rolling with her, she latched on to my nipple sucking it hard in her mouth as I plunged into her, and then it happened again, she announced, "I'm Cumming AGAIN!" with a long low ahhhhh, that followed. I rode her orgasm, feeling her wonderful contractings on my throbbing cock, as she rolled her hips I looked down and seeing me deep in her was a magnificent sight.. She then stopped, and told me to roll off of her, so I did. I could tell she was racked with the sensation of her orgasms and tipping over the point of being over stimulated and needing a momentary break. I laid on my back, and Maria rolled on me. She lowered her hand and mouth to my glistening cock. I'm an average sized man, yet Maria was tiny, her little hands made me look huge. The visual was amazing. At that moment she was the most beautiful woman on the planet. She held my cock and would make small little tugs with her hand as she sucked rhythmically on the top third. My head was in her mouth and the soft sensitive area just underneath was being rolled on by her tongue. Maria didn't bob her head when she went down, she would slowly lower and raise as she sucked, her hand would make small tugs upward as if she was trying to milk me into her mouth. And did that ever work! I started to grunt "I'm gonna cum!" Maria started quickening the pace of her sucking and pulling, and with that I started to clench all over. My orgasm hit hard and felt like my body was a bass drum beating boom, boom, boom, with each pulse of the cum leaving my body. I couldn't see my orgasm as she kept tight to me sucking it down, the intensity was overwhelming, I clenched and felt like I was being electrified with intensity and pleasure. I could hear the beating in my ear with each jut of cum leaving me. The intensity of the pleasure grew so much, that after it felt as though I shot my final load, I had to pull Maria off of me. She fell on me, her hair on my arm, her lips on my chest, kissing my chest, and moaning in a low alto. I laid there, feeling my pulse fast, as I rolled my fingers through her hair. We were both speechless. The morning was still quiet and glowing as I held Maria, drifting into a slow session of holding each other in complete satisfaction. To date that was one of the most powerful orgasms I had ever felt in my life. As Maria and I would reminisce she would often tell me her orgasms with me were the strongest she has ever had.   by JackOfDiamonds for Literotica

Week 27 July 2-8, 1990 and we discuss everything that was happening during the 18th week of 1990. Which movies were at the theater? What music were you hearing on the radio? What news was hitting the headlines? What were you watchin on T.V.? We have the answer to all these questions and so much more! Die Hard 2 - Die Harder, Shout out to Matt, Dream On, Hey Dare Buddy, MMMMM Peggy Bundy.

Communication Can Be Nonverbal. by Fugman - listen to the podcast at Steamy Stories.To be perfectly honest, our sex life has been kind of stale lately. Between work, the kids, and other obligations, by the time we get to go to bed, we are both exhausted and not in the mood to be intimate.One night not too long ago, I kissed Tammy goodnight and went to sleep, she was reading on her phone. We shared the ‘I love yous' and I quickly faded out.Several times in the past as Tammy reads her romance books, she'll wake me up for some play time, but that hasn't happened in a while.This one night, I heard something and slowly opened my eyes. As I slowly adjusted to the darkness, I soon noticed that Tammy was playing with her bare nipple and moaning. I did not want to disturb her, she was literally enjoying herself, so I laid still staring at her naked body. She was pinching her nipple tightly and pulling them, stretching her breasts tall. I slowly tilted my head to see her legs wide open and her fingers playing with herself. I could not take my eyes off if her, her fingers, and I was starting to feel my hardness grow.She took her fingers out of her wetness and I watched as she brought them to her lips and inserted them in her mouth. She moaned loudly, letting me know that she thoroughly enjoyed her own excited juices. I stayed still and silent and watched as her hand slid back down and her fingers disappeared back inside of her vagina. They slowly vanished inside of her and she moaned again, and everytime she played with her clit, her moans got louder.I watched her as she pleasured herself, her fingers sliding in and out of her, occasionally licking them clean before returning down below. The moans were getting louder and louder and I watched as she closed her eyes and enjoyed the feelings that her playful fingers provided. She turned her head towards me and I closed my eyes…a second later I opened my eyes and she was staring at me intently, mouth open as she was about to finish in front of me.With our eyes locked, I watched as she hurdled towards her climax…I heard her fingers sloshing through her wetness, her moans increased in volume and frequency. She was a few strokes from screaming out and I watched her as she tried to keep her eyes open and connected to mine. Just as she hit her explosive finish, her eyes opened and she looked right at me. She looked incredible as her orgasm shook her body uncontrollably.Tammy brought her fingers up and inserted them in her mouth again, this time looking directly at me as she slid her fingers in and out from between her lips. “Mmmmm,” she said as slowly withdrew them from her mouth. “Do you want to taste?” She asked, already knowing my answer would be yes.She licked her fingers and slowly slid her hand down her body, pinched her nipple tightly and then continued tracing her fingers down her body. Once she reached between her legs, her eyes closed briefly as her fingers slid inside her already soaked opening. I watched her move her fingers in and out a few times before bringing them to my lips. I kissed them gently then wrapped my lips around her fingers and pulled them inside my mouth. My tongue swirled around her digits and tasted every drop of her juice that I could. Her eyes watched me intently as she slowly withdrew her fingers.“Mmmm, baby, I love the taste of you,” I said, “I want more.” As I said that, I slid my body out form under the covers and moved down the bed. As soon as my head was near her privates, I could smell her aroma, the scent drew me in. As soon as my tongue touched her upper thigh, she moaned, her heart was already pounding in anticipation And I did not keep her waiting. My tongue slid down her thigh and I tasted her from the source. Her hands grabbed the back of my head and pulled me deep between her legs. My tongue slipped inside of her lips as I heard her moan again.I had to fight her grip to raise my head slightly, “mmm, straight from the source!” As I moved back in and my tongue parted her opening and I moved it up and down. I love the feeling of her opening as it makes room for my invading tongue. I went up and down tasting as much of her as I could and then I brought my lips up and surrounded her pleasure button. As soon as my lips surrounded her and started to gently suck, she moaned loudly. She was already approaching her second orgasm, and I wanted to bring it to her. I continued sucking, licking, nibbling on her button until she begged for me to finish her. That is when my tongue slid down and back into her opening, up and down I moved it, then I started pushing it in and out of her.Every few strokes of my tongue, then I would go back to her clit and suck, nibble, lick and suck some more. Her hands grabbed my head and held it tightly as her explosion neared. I swirled my tongue around and then bit down as I heard her intense moan indicating that she was coming again. I held her firmly as more juices flowed from her sweet opening. When she finally calmed down and released her death grip on my head, I licked her up and down again, coating my tongue and face with her juice for the second time.She pulled me by the head until I kissed her, she swirled her tongue inside my mouth tasting her flavor once again.Tammy felt my erection poking into her as we kissed and she reached for my underwear. Seconds later, my butt was bare and her hands were pulling me inside of her. The excessive lubrication down below had me sinking deep with very little effort. Once I was fully inside of her, she held me tight and ground her hips against mine. She was still pleasuring herself and I needed to take over and do the pleasuring. I lifted my hips, until only the very tip of me remained inside, I used my hand and slid my hardness against her seam, sliding up and down but not entering her. She moaned again, the angle I was hitting her pelvis was causing every up stroke to hit her already overly sensitive clit.Back and forth between full penetration and sliding up and down her seam had her ready to come unglued. But I love hearing her moans, I love hearing her being fully pleasured and know that I am in control. I was coated in a lot of her wetness so it made it really easy to slide back and forth, in and out, up and down until she was rapidly approaching her third climax for the night.I stayed inside of her and ground my hips, moving my erection around inside, hitting everywhere that I could reach until I knew she was about to go over the edge. Then I plowed hard and fast inside of her, she moaned louder and she held on to my hips feeling me thrust deep and hard. She was getting closer and closer and I knew it would not be much longer before she was cumming again.I felt her hands move to my bare butt and I suddenly felt a sharp pain on my cheeks. She dug her fingernails into my backside and she held me in place, buried deep inside of her. She moved her hips back and forth until she moaned again. Her body shook violently as waves of pleasure ran through her body again.Her body quivering was vibrating my hardness still buried inside of her, I felt a sharp pain on my bare butt cheeks, it was Tammy, digging her nails in deep so that I would not move until she was done with me.The sharp pain in my backside conflicted with the pleasure that my erection was experiencing as her body was stroking me inside, almost milking me for my seed.After she started to come down from her orgasm, she released my butt cheeks and told me, “let me taste me on you, lay down, it's my turn to please you.” I did as I was told and rolled over, standing tall and proud. She rolled over and I watched as she locked eye contact with me and licked the head, swirling her tongue around to hit ever side, and the little hole on the top. She licked all around, didn't let one spot get ignored, “mmmmm, you taste so good with me on you.”My head fell back and I lost eye contact with her as she went up and down surrounding my tool with her mouth, lips, tongue, hand stroking me, she was working me, and working me well. It was like she was wanting me to finish quickly.Her mouth moved up and down, her tongue swirled over my head, back and forth on the very tip, coating me with her saliva as it mixed with my excitement starting to ooze from me. I grabbed her by the hair and held on as she was definitely taking control, I knew what she wanted, but I wasn't ready to give in just yet. I fought the urges to explode down her throat, but she was really ramping up the intensity. I was really fighting back but I knew I was fighting a losing battle, I knew it was only a matter of time before she drained me of every last drop.I thought I had it handled, I was thinking of anything I could so that I wasn't concentrating on what she was doing to me, but as soon as I felt her fingers play with my testicles, I knew it was coming quickly. She teased the underside and squeezed them, but as soon as she looked up at me and I made eye contact with her, she grinned around my tool in her mouth and nodded to me that it was time.That was all it took, with a moan and a groan, I filled her mouth with everything in me. She played with my jewels as she drank down every last drop, “mmmmm,” she moaned around my tool. Causing vibrations around my shooting appendage, the feeling was too much to take as I held her head in place and moved my hips back and forth. I could barely think about anything but her mouth still surrounding me, drinking and using me as her straw to get to the very last bit of my special shake.When I was finally drained of everything, she raised her head and licked me from the top to my jewels, making sure that she got it all, and she smiled up at me, “mmmm, straight from the source.” We giggled and cuddled until we fell back to sleep, saying our I love yous before drifting off again, both completely satisfied.by Fugman, for Tumblr

Mmmmm yeahhhh we're gonna have to give you this episode on Office Space which is turning 25 years old. Chris Chatham came in on his day off to chat about printers and TPS reports with us. We had a blast and y'all can cheer yourself up by listening to it cuz it sounds like y'all have a case of the Mondays. Enjoy!

Mike has a new lady to ogle on YouTube... and she's German and she cooks.  Mmmmm.  Oscar has a broken eagle and there's another situation at the ol' gas pump.  Oscar and Robb discuss their showbiz weekend... and Robb declares a "citrus revolution".  This Episode Is Sponsored By: Liquid IV: Boost hydration with Liquid IV. Use "TMOS" for a special discount at Liquid IV:  https://liquid-iv.com/. Your backing of our sponsors fuels this podcast's engine. We appreciate each and every one of you!

Las noticias de orden público ocupan los principales titulares de Colombia: el país amaneció con un atentado en el peaje de Boquerón, en la vía entre Bogotá y Villavicencio, y la respuesta del presidente Petro fue "mmmmm"See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The Dudes return to discuss the bakery item that everyone loves, donuts. In times full of uncertainty, there is one thing for sure, even bad donuts are good. The Dudes drink a few beers from Cabarrus Brewing and Sycamore Brewing while they discuss their local favorites, the best donut they ever had, Krispy Kreme versus Dunkin Donuts, and a few surprise topics along the way. Also, Andy tries to settle a Dude text thread debate! Originally published on Aug 29, 2020.

Things sure have changed for Pee-wee Herman (Paul Reubens RIP). He's moved to a small town filled with elderly people to work in his lab with his pig Vance (Wayne White), on a secret formula to eliminate world hunger. This all changes when the Cabrini Circus literally blows into town, bringing with it a colorful cast of characters led by Mace Montana (Kris Kristofferson) and his horny lil' wife Midge (Susan Tyrrell). They're invited to stay on the farm and Pee-wee is smitten by the girl on the flying trapeze, Gina Piccolapupala (Valeria Golino), but what to do about his fiance with the bad hair, Winnie (Penelope Ann Miller)? Pluck a couple glizzies from the hot dog tree and feel the discomfort with us as the luckiest boy in the world gets laid in Big Top Pee-wee, this week on Doom Generation.  Support this show at patreon.com/doomgeneration

These days you can't just ask your congregants for money, you have to do it under the guise that God wants you to be richer than them! It's called creativity, people.  90 Day Fiance Oops! Bryan said transsexual but he means transgender “Trust me” Dive bars! An outhouse with a bar TCBCon Who would you dress up as? Bryan can't rejoin the restaurant industry (please subscribe & review us on itunes) The 700 Club A new kind of prosperity preacher Mmmmm prowess Just give the glory to god and it's fine The Church of TCB Catholicism LINKS: Send us show ideas, comments, questions or concerns by texting us at: 1.855.TCB.8383 Call 626.ASK.TCB3 and leave us a voicemail Speak to TCB LIVE by calling 775.TCB.LIVE (1.775.822.5483) Tuesday-Thursday 12pm-5pm EST Watch TCB on YouTube Creator: Bryan Green Co-Host: Bryan Green Co-Host: Krissy Hoadley Written By: Bryan Green Exec Producers: Bryan Green & Krissy Hoadley Content Production & Research: Tina Khano YouTube Producer & Editor: Morgan Please Producer & Audio Editor: Christina A. Executive Director: Astrid B. Associate Producer: Gustavo Episodic Contribution: Marianne, Diane, Natalie, Will The Champ, Will D**

I read from echt to eclogue.     Mmmmm...eclair. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/%C3%89clair     Try to avoid eclampsia at all costs. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eclampsia     The word of the episode is "eclectic".     Theme music from Jonah Kraut https://jonahkraut.bandcamp.com/     Merchandising! https://www.teepublic.com/user/spejampar     "The Dictionary - Letter A" on YouTube   "The Dictionary - Letter B" on YouTube   "The Dictionary - Letter C" on YouTube   "The Dictionary - Letter D" on YouTube     Featured in a Top 10 Dictionary Podcasts list! https://blog.feedspot.com/dictionary_podcasts/     Backwards Talking on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLmIujMwEDbgZUexyR90jaTEEVmAYcCzuq     dictionarypod@gmail.com https://www.facebook.com/thedictionarypod/ https://www.threads.net/@dictionarypod https://twitter.com/dictionarypod https://www.instagram.com/dictionarypod/ https://www.patreon.com/spejampar https://www.tiktok.com/@spejampar 917-727-5757

-       Y a este país le pondremos el nombre de “Sombrerolandia”. -       Mmmmm. No sé. ¿Qué tal “Burritolandia”?   ¡Hola! Soy Óscar. Gracias por acompañarme en un nuevo episodio del pódcast de unlimitedspanish.com. Recuerda que puedes conseguir el texto de este episodio en mi página web: www.unlimitedspanish.com sección pódcast. ¿Sabías que cada nombre de los países latinoamericanos tiene un significado? Hoy voy a presentarte el origen del nombre de varios países. La verdad es que el origen de estos nombres es fascinante. Así que viajaremos virtualmente por los diferentes países. Empezamos con Argentina, cuyo nombre proviene del latín "argentum", que significa "plata". Los primeros exploradores europeos, maravillados, pensaron que el país estaba lleno de este preciado metal. ¡Incluso hay una ciudad llamada Mar de la Plata! Nuestro próximo destino es Bolivia, bautizada en honor a Simón Bolívar, el líder militar y político que jugó un papel decisivo en la independencia de varias naciones latinoamericanas. Luego nos dirigimos a Brasil, cuyo nombre tiene raíces en la naturaleza. Proviene del "pau-brasil", un árbol cuya madera de color rojo fue altamente valorada por los colonizadores portugueses. Así, la región tomó el nombre de este árbol. Pasamos a Chile, donde no hay certeza absoluta sobre el origen de su nombre. Sin embargo, una teoría interesante sugiere que proviene de la palabra indígena "chilli", que podría traducirse como "donde la tierra termina". Un nombre bastante poético para este país de geografía única. Y hablando de nombres con historia, Colombia debe su denominación al famoso explorador Cristóbal Colón. Aunque nunca pisó el territorio colombiano, su descubrimiento de América fue el catalizador de la colonización europea en el continente. Continuamos hacia Costa Rica. Según la teoría más aceptada, su nombre proviene del mismo Cristóbal Colón, que quedó asombrado por la abundancia de adornos de oro que portaban los indígenas. ¿Quién no pensaría en riquezas al ver tanto oro? Nuestro siguiente destino es Cuba, cuyo nombre proviene de la palabra taína "cubao", que significa "lugar de tierra fértil". Es un homenaje a los taínos, los habitantes originales de la isla. En cuanto a Ecuador, su nombre es bastante evidente, ¿no crees? Este país se encuentra justo sobre la línea ecuatorial, que divide al mundo en dos hemisferios. Al parecer, no necesitaron mucho tiempo para pensar un buen nombre. El Salvador, por su parte, toma su nombre de una antigua fortaleza española ubicada en lo que hoy es la capital, San Salvador. Su nombre completo es "República de El Salvador".   Recuerda que puedes conseguir el texto de este episodio en mi página web: www.unlimitedspanish.com sección pódcast.

From Chummy Studios, Hye Jams Radio presents, "Paisan and Friends," brought to you by Haig's Kabob House. Your favorite Italian deejay has put together all the ingredients for a super delicious show. Songs that are played are sure to wet your chops so much, that you can almost taste them. Anyone listening to song after song on this show is sure to say Mmmmm Good! This episode features Brand New Hye Jams from Spitakci Hayko, Super Sako and Sona Yesayan. Plus, Hits you know and love from Anette Aghabekyan, DJ Davo, Arman Hovhannisyan, Tata Simonyan, Razmik Amyan, Shprot, Eric Shane, Drew, Aram MP3, Diana Harutyunyan, Armenchik, Lilu, Sammy Flash, Suro, Gor Hakobyan, Christina Yeghobyan, KAN, Hovic Vardanyan, Mariam Mirzoyan, Arkadi Dumikyan and Grigori Esayan — to name a few. Download the app now in the App or Google Play store and listen for free to a high energy, incredible show filled with your favorite Armenian Pop Music, playing the Best of the Best Songs. Ain't nuttin' but a party...right here on Hye Jams Radio!

Because we love you (and also cuz we feel overwhelming guilt for missing your birthday this year), we present to you the gift of new music! Tune in and while you're at it- take note on what to get Andy for his birthday. And what's this? No one is featured on the Interview Hour this week?! That's right. It's all Andy & Nick for a solid hour of boy talk. Mmmmm yeah, you like that don't ya? We're here to spread joy and prioritize pleasure, y'all. So buckle up cuz this one's a doozy.  RIP Slinky. You are forever a good boy and we'll all miss you. Watch this episode streaming now!! Psyched to partner up with our buddies at Volume.com! Check out their roster of upcoming live events and on-demand shows to enrich that sweet life of yours. Call, leave a message, and tell us how you really feel: (720) 996-2403  Check out our new single, You Do You streaming on Spotify and Apple Music now! And while you're at it, give a big middle finger to the bigots in your life Follow us on Instagram @worldsavingpodcast For more information on Andy Frasco, the band and/or the blog, go to: AndyFrasco.com Check out our good friends that help us unwind and sleep easy while on the road and at home: dialedingummies.com Produced by Andy Frasco, Joe Angelhow, & Chris Lorentz Audio mix by Chris Lorentz Featuring: Andy Frasco & The U.N.

26 years ago tonight, Mike Tyson got hungry.