In Two Deep

Join us for the Season 1 finale where we pause to debrief and share our reflections on this co-creative podcast project. We unpack how we've addressed criticism (both inner and outer), how we've danced with our different communication styles both on and off-mic, how we've wrestled with a sense of responsibility to deliver the next episode on time vs. a desire for spontaneity, play, and fun. We break it all down for you in our first ever 100% untouched, unedited episode. Thank you all for being in our listening community! Please join us in July when we kick off Season 2!

“Why do people break up, and then turn around and make up?” Al Green sings in “Let's Stay Together." Is there an intelligence behind the cycle of coming together, coming apart, and then coming back together again?Yes, there is! In addition to our powerful efforts to make a forever break from an unhealthy relationship, we all look to create a place of security and safety—a place that allows us to deeply bond—and then we shake the walls of that safety so that we can be a yet more whole version of ourselves. In short, we create a “status quo” made from a multitude of conscious and unconscious agreements which support a sense of harmony and security but at another moment become a box that we seek to break out of. Sometimes this 'breaking out' is done less consciously through arguments, affairs,  addictions, or acting outside of our agreed upon way of relating. But we can learn to break out more consciously by taking intentional steps towards deepening of our relationship's emotional intimacy.Join us for a lively, deep, and playful conversation on the making and breaking of the bonds that bind us.

Learn more about transforming conflict into intimacy. When is it too soon to say "I'm sorry?" How might your conflict style be different than your partner's? Why is it helpful to take a break during a fight? What does a resolution to a conflict really look like? Join us as we unpack these questions and more!

This week we explore what it means to practice "clean conflict"—making intimacy from conflict rather than painful messes that build scar tissue and resentment. Whether you tend to avoid conflict or you find yourself in the midst of difficult, painful conflicts on a regular basis—or anywhere in between—this episode is for you. Learn how to de-escalate conflicts, communicate more directly, and care for your vulnerability. 

The new year invites us to dream about our relationships. It offers us a distinctive opportunity to consider the roles we've been playing that need updating and the patterns that once served us but are now well-worn ruts longing for new pathways. In this episode, we offer listeners the opportunity to reflect on the first time they met their partners or friends to remember what was so unique, magical, or captivating about that moment. We ask: What about that first dream wants to come forward in your relationship this year and how to begin anew? For more info., visit www.intwodeep.com.

We haven't always thought about emotional intimacy or our happiness in relationships in the ways we do today. Capitalism, sexism, and a culture that negates feelings have narrowed our vision of what it means to be close and connected. In this episode, Lisa leads us through the historical development of emotional intimacy from ancient times to the present day. What follows is an animated conversation between David and Lisa about inclusion, love, and humility. For more info, visit www.intwodeep.com.

Your partner is feeling unwell; or maybe you are. Can you create intimacy out of this experience? Is there a message that your body symptoms carry for your relationship? Is it time to reprioritize or begin a new path together? This week, with Lisa feeling unwell, we've created a special episode for you. David takes to the mic while Lisa types messages, soothing her sore throat. We explore the meaning and wisdom of our own illness experiences in relationship. At the end, David offers a brief dying practice that you can do with your partner to connect with each other's essential nature. For more info., visit www.intwodeep.com.

Ever take that vacation together that looked great on paper or in photos but left you feeling less than close and connected or fell short in meeting your individual needs? We have, too. Whether you're the kind of couple who loves to see and do it all on your trips, or prefer to have no agenda whatsoever, we talk about how to make your vacations work best for your individual and relationship needs, sharing stories about our own vacation highlights and pitfalls along the way. We offer four considerations when planning your next getaway: allowing for separate vs. together time, having a set agenda (or not), building in time to “arrive” together, and enjoying altered states of consciousness. For more info., visit www.intwodeep.com.

We know you want to speak your truth, tell your partner what you think and feel. But, what if it causes hurt, conflict, misunderstanding, or a rift in your relationship? Listen in to this week's episode where we take a deep dive into the complex territory of truth-telling and compassion. For more info., visit www.intwodeep.com.

While our intended communication may say one thing, our bodies, moods, tones, and behavior may be saying another. Others notice it when our eyes roll, when we're looking at our phone instead of listening, or not doing what we said we would. We may be trying to be a "good partner" but our unintended communication creates distance. However, when explored and acknowledged, it can also create intimacy. This week we discuss a variety of common examples of unintended communication and offer a powerful way to create deeper intimacy, bridging the gap between what we intend and what we actually communicate. For more info., visit www.intwodeep.com.

What does a "successful" relationship look like? Smiling faces on a holiday card  with 2.2 kids and 1.7 cars; one where you always get along, never have conflict, and have sex at all the right times? This paradigm often leaves couples feeling like failures. This week, we redefine relationship success as noticing, highlighting, and celebrating moments of  emotional intimacy with your partner. Join us as we discuss being open about your needs with your partner, sharing your personal stories, and getting to know what each other really feels. For more info., visit www.intwodeep.com.

Ever wonder if it's "your stuff" or if it's actually an issue about your partner or your relationship? This week we unpack why you need to do your own inner work while in relationship. We highlight the three warning signs that indicate, "It's time to do your inner work." 1) When you think the reason you feel down, criticized, or unfree is ALL about your partner.   2) When you find yourself repeating patterns in relationship with multiple partners over time.3) When the needs you expect your partner to meet are really meant to be met by the larger world. For more info, visit www.intwodeep.com.

We all need to learn how to dance together around our differences—our interpersonal diversity (e.g., personality, communication style). In this episode, we explore the three phases of the dance: (1) accommodating & compromising (emphasizing harmony) (2) conflict (emphasizing differences), and (3) role switching (emphasizing fluidity). For more info., visit www.intwodeep.com.

In Part 2 of Ghosts and Ancestors, we discuss how two more types of negative parents impact our relationships: the abusive parent and the self-absorbed or narcissistic parent. We discuss three things people need to learn to break the pattern of abusive relationships. Finally, we discuss the impact on relationships of growing up with a self-absorbed or narcissistic parent and what people can do to make themselves more visible to their partner and to themselves. For more info., visit www.intwodeep.com.

When you feel like your partner is being overly critical of you, are you truly talking to your partner or are you actually talking to your negative parent? In this episode, we unpack the very common experience of confusing our partner with the negative parent we had growing up. Inspired by Bruce Springsteen's one-man show on Netflix "Springsteen on Broadway" in which he tells the story of how his father changed from being a ghost who haunted him to an ancestor who freed him to lead his own life. Learn how to playfully engage with your partner making conflicts less painful while cultivating a deeper sense of connection. For more info., visit www.intwodeep.com.

Welcome to In Two Deep! In this maiden voyage of our podcast, we begin to unravel what will likely be the first of many episodes about the treacherous and often scary realm of conflict in relationships. We dive deep into hurt, anger, trauma, and triggers. We come back up to the surface to share how incorporating playfulness into conflict can make it easier and lighter. For more info., visit www.intwodeep.com.