Podcasts about Narcissism

In this special episode, Joe and Brett engage directly with the audience by reading and responding to comments from their recent episode on narcissism. They navigate what's true in the pushback as well as what they'd want to add or clarify. It's an honest, unscripted conversation about the limits of framing narcissism as a spectrum, the difference between abuse and narcissistic personality disorder, and the long journey from victimhood to empowered compassion. Together, they explore: The critical distinction between narcissism as a trait and narcissistic personality disorder The pros and cons of framing narcissism as a spectrum Why the natural progression often goes from "I'm the problem" to "you're the problem" before real healing becomes possible The difference between engaging with narcissism in the workplace vs. in an abusive relationship Why any love that makes you feel ashamed or turn away from yourself may not be love worth keeping Rebuilding a relationship with a narcissistic parent Why compassion and boundaries actually go together, not in opposition What abuse survivors actually need Why the option to leave isn't psychologically available until certain internal work is done Joe's story of meeting a mother in a homeless shelter and what it revealed about capacity and choice Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Borderline and narcissism are often misunderstood—this episode separates myth from science. Robert Drozek explores the science behind borderline and narcissistic personality disorders, separating common myths from current research. Together, he and Sue discuss attachment, trauma, genetics, parenting, evidence-based treatments, and why understanding these often misunderstood conditions can bring greater compassion, hope, and healthier relationships. “Borderline is driven by a need to reconnect.” – Robert P. Drozek, LICSW Time Stamps for Challenging Personalities: Understanding Borderline & Narcissism with Robert Drozek (307) 04:14 Understanding Borderline Personality Disorder 09:25 Exploring narcissism: Definitions and types 13:29 Vulnerable vs. grandiose narcissism 18:56 The Role of Trauma in Personality Disorders 22:25 Parenting styles and their impact on narcissism 27:14 Identifying narcissism in relationships 33:34 Treatment approaches for Borderline Personality Disorder 36:45 Challenges in treating Narcissistic Personality Disorder 45:26 Navigating relationships with narcissistic individuals About our Guest – Robert P. Drozek, LICSW Robert P. Drozek, LICSW is the clinical director of the Mentalization-Based Treatment Clinic at McLean Hospital in Belmont, Massachusetts. He is a teaching associate in the Department of Psychiatry at Harvard Medical School, specializing in the treatment of borderline personality disorder, narcissistic personality disorder, and post-traumatic stress disorder. He is author of the new book, Mentalization: Utilizing reflection to heal from borderline personality disorder—the first book for the general public about mentalization-based treatment.   Resources for Challenging Personalities: Understanding Borderline & Narcissism with Robert Drozek (307) MBT Boston – An organization that Robert co-founded that offers training and supervision to clinicians across the world in MBT MBT USA – A consortium of MBT providers and organizations in the United Robert’s faculty page at McLean Hospital Instagram: @RobertDrozek Mentalization book – Facebook page Get your copy of Mentalization: Utilizing Reflection to Heal from Borderline Personality Disorder here!     Please support our sponsors – they keep our podcast free and accessible to all!  SimplePractice is an all-in-one EHR that is HIPPA compliant, HITRUST certified and built specifically for therapists. If you are ready to simplify the business side of your practice, now is a great time to try SimplePractice. Start with a 7-day free trial, then get 50% off your first three months. Just go to SimplePractice.com/TU to claim the offer. Beyond Attachment Styles – Deepening Security in Yourself and Fostering More Secure Relationships Course available NOW!   Everyone’s heard of attachment styles – but you likely don’t know how much the popular press gets wrong and what the science actually says about how to improve your relationships long term (including how we relate to ourselves).  This course is for anyone wanting to more deeply understand attachment (styles vs patterns), unconscious defense activation patterns, implicit scripts… and most importantly, what to do once you do get activated!  Online, Self-Paced, Asynchronous Learning with Quarterly Live Q&A’s! Earn 6 Continuing Education Credits – Available at Checkout. As a listener of this podcast, use code BAS15 for a limited-time discount. Or read Marriott & Kelley’s critically-acclaimed book, Secure Relating: Holding Your Own in an Insecure World (HarperCollins,2023) for the most in-depth experience of learning about Secure Relating. Therapists love it, but it’s accessible to everyone.  If you aren’t interested in the background science, just start at Part 2 and we will be talking directly to you – it’s fun!   You are invited!  OK for those of you who refer others to the pod, use it professionally or consider yourself nerdy and just love this stuff, hello, you are our people! Join our exclusive community to get exclusive bonus content, early access to training opportunities, and an ad-free, private podcast feed. It’s this warm community that allows us to donate half of all corportate profits to mental health access for marginalized peoples.  Sign up for our premium Neuronerd plan!! Click here!! 

Today we'll talk about one of the most disorienting experiences Christian women in emotionally abusive marriages face: gaslighting. But we aren't going to just define what gaslighting is. I'm going to break it down into all the tiny parts and give you some specific stories so you can see exactly what's going on and WHY. You'll learn three specific tactics gaslighters use, why they use them, and what you can do to stay grounded in your own reality when someone is working hard to pull you out of it.Key Takeaways:Why someone can sound completely loving and caring while actually doing something deeply harmful to youThe hidden reason your concerns keep disappearing from conversations before they ever get resolvedWhat a "joke" has to do with control, and why your body's reaction is not a character flawThe psychological mechanism you share with a slot machine, and what it's actually costing youThe one shift that strips a gaslighting tactic of all its power, without you having to win a single argumentGet Today's Free Resource:

Perfectionism doesn't always come from loving excellence. Sometimes it's the only way you've ever known how to feel safe. In the first episode of a new series on Obsessive-Compulsive Personality Disorder, Dr. Greg unpacks how perfectionism, rigidity, and control take root—and why, underneath them, control quietly fills the space where trust was supposed to be. Key Topics: Why the pursuit of perfection is often less about loving excellence and more about not feeling safe without it How "until I'm perfect, I'm not loved" becomes the sentence an entire personality gets built on Why one small mistake can feel like disconnection instead of just a mistake How conscientiousness and perfectionism can look identical from the outside—and the one thing that tells them apart Why you can get everything right and still never feel free to rest Why the love you keep trying to earn was already given—before you got anything right Learn More: Person and Act and Related Essays by Karol Wojtyła (St. John Paul II) — the anthropology of self-possession and self-gift behind this episode Join a future Black Elk healing retreat at the Hawkeye Ranch in Wyoming Episode referenced on spiritual bypassing and scrupulosity: Ep. #288: Why "Everything Happens for a Reason" Isn't Working: The Holy Words We Use to Avoid Healing Inner Parts Easy Conversation Guide — an audio guide to get to know your inner parts. Start of the Being Human series on the Antisocial Defense Patterns: Ep. #281: Control or Be Controlled: The Devastating Wounds Behind Antisocial Behavioral Patterns Start of the Being Human series on the Borderline Defense Patterns: Ep. #269: BORDERLINE: The Push-Pull Between a Fear of Abandonment and Annihilation Start of the Being Human series on the Histrionic Defense Patterns: Ep. #274: To Be Loved Is to Perform: Inside the Histrionic Compulsion for Attention and Validation Start of the Being Human series on the Dependent Defense Patterns: Ep. #265: Jerry Maguire, Gollum, and the Fear of Not Existing Start of the Being Human series on the Narcissistic Defense Patterns: Ep. #261: Narcissism and the Terror of Being Ordinary Need help? Schedule a free CatholicPsych consultation Want to help? Learn more about our Certification in Professional Accompaniment Follow Us on Socials: Instagram | Facebook | YouTube | Twitter (X) | LinkedIn

  Subscribe in a reader Check out my product recommendations for Narcissist Abuse Survivors! – https://www.amazon.com/shop/tracymalone *As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases. Listen to my podcasts anytime by subscribing with your favorite provider! The post When a Narcissistic Parent Gets Dementia: What Every Adult Child Needs to Know | Meg Haworth appeared first on Narcissist Abuse Support.

In this episode I sit down with Wendy Behary, one of the world's leading experts on narcissism with over 30 years of experience, founder of The Cognitive Therapy Center of New Jersey, and author of the international bestseller Disarming the Narcissist, selected by Oprah Daily as one of the top books on the subject and now in its third edition translated into 18 languages. Wendy cuts through the myths that flood the internet around narcissism, explains the real difference between narcissistic traits and narcissistic personality disorder, and shares what she has learned from three decades of sitting in the room with both narcissists and the people who love them. We talk about when to stay, when to leave, what healing actually looks like for a narcissist, how to build your healthy adult self, and how to regulate your nervous system when you are living in close proximity to someone deeply volatile.This is one of the most clear, grounded, and genuinely rare conversations I have had on this topic,and I learned an enormous amount.Connect with Wendy:https://www.instagram.com/donsanddivashttps://disarmingthenarcissist.com/https://www.schematherapytrainingonline.com/p/empathic-confrontation-wendy-beharyhttps://courses.schematherapytrainingonline.com/p/empathic-confrontation-wendy-beharyWORK WITH ME 1:1:❥Softening into self- 3 month 1:1 with Whats App Support: https://marina-yt.mykajabi.com/offers/PAWQhZHu❥❥1:1 Coaching with me: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfWcZM5s9c2OjOLwoGMI5jE6rh_JAzjN2d_vCtuVe7e3pVGxw/viewformDOWNLOAD FOR FREE:Stay or Go: 5 Clarity Questions to Reconnect with Your Inner Knowing: https://marinatriner.com/stay-or-go-guideAttatchment Practice: Discover the actual blocks beneath the surface so you can actually have the deep intimacy you crave: https://marinatriner.com/attachment-practice Connect & Ground: 10 Incredible Somatic Practices for Nervous System Regulation: https://marinatriner.com/connect-and-groundAlive & Aligned: 7 Embodiment Practices For Self Connection: https://marinatriner.com/alive-and-alignedTrigger to Rooted: A step by step process of working with your triggers: https://marinatriner.com/trigger-2-rooted VIEW MY COURSES & RESOURCES:https://marinatriner.com/resources CONNECT WITH  ME:Follow me on Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/marinatriner/ Subscribe to YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/@marinatriner Top Episode Quotes:"It's not your fault that you are the way you are — but it is your responsibility, if you want to be responsible, to work on this." — Wendy Behary"You don't have to be angry all the time to justify your position. The best place we can get ourselves to is solid, steady conviction." — Wendy Behary"Narcissists don't sit there plotting to hurt you. They are acting in defense of their ego — and they will run you over to protect it, but that is a different thing." — Wendy Behary"When you're in your healthy adult mode, what would that part of you say about this? That's always the question I bring people back to." — Wendy Behary"The grandiosity is a masquerade. It is covering the shame. All of it is a compensation for feeling deeply insecure at the core." — Wendy Beharynarcissism, trauma healing, nervous system regulation, somatic healing, narcissistic abuse recovery, attachment healing, schema therapy, inner child work, emotional regulation, relational healing, people pleasing, self abandonment, codependency healing, self worth, healthy adult self, trauma bonding, complex trauma, deep within podcast, Wendy Behary, disarming the narcissist 

Every relationship faces rupture — but the skill of repair is getting lost. Counselor and author Debra Fileta joins Dave and Ashley to talk about her new book People Skills and why loving difficult people well is one of the most important things we can do. She unpacks the rise of "cut-off culture," why we're too quick to label people narcissists, how to set boundaries that actually invite health, and the four levels of conversation that determine whether you feel truly connected in your marriage. Whether it's a spouse, a family member, or a coworker, this episode will help you love the difficult people in your life the way God loves us. Listener question: I feel like a roommate with my wife! Married 20 years with a 16, 14 and 9 year old and feeling emotionally, spiritually and physically disconnected. I've been patient since having kids spending years alone in the bedroom while she nursed, hoping our relationship would strengthen as the kids got older but it hasn't. We've talked a few times and I've shared books, podcasts, date night lists but can't get her to prioritize us. I'm slowly giving up and finding peace in solitude but am worried we're headed to a place where we can't come back from, and shared that worry. Any ideas on next steps? Get Debra's new book, People Skills: https://a.co/d/04U7eXjq Learn more about Debra Fileta: https://debrafileta.com Listen to Debra Fileta's podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/talk-to-me-the-debra-fileta-podcast/id1417804351 Learn more about Marriage Intensives: https://xomarriage.com We want your marriage to thrive! Learn more at http://xomarriage.com Dave and Ashley Willis spent thirteen years in full-time church ministry before devoting their work entirely toward the global mission of building stronger, Christ-centered marriages. Their marriage-related books, blogs, podcast, speaking events and media resources have reached millions of couples around the world making Dave and Ashley one of the most recognized and trusted couples in marriage ministry. Dave and Ashley partnered with XO Marriage in 2018. XO Marriage is the nation's largest marriage-focused ministry. The Willis family includes four sons and a rescue dog named "Chi Chi." When Dave and Ashley aren't writing and speaking, they love hanging out with their family, watching movies and going on long walks which is also where they develop many of their marriage ministry content ideas. Learn more about Dave & Ashley at daveandashley.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Narcissism is usually imagined as arrogance, dominance, and the loudest person in the room, but it is not always that obvious. In this episode, Vanessa explores narcissism as a problem of selfhood: what happens when a person does not have a stable enough inner sense of Self to stay emotionally coherent without constant reflection from the outside. Through Kohut, Kernberg, the myth of Narcissus, vulnerable and grandiose narcissism, the false self, parental overvaluation, and the difference between traits and Narcissistic Personality Disorder, we look at why these dynamics can feel so confusing inside real relationships. The question is not only whether someone can be charming, wounded, or empathic when things are easy, but whether they can stay curious about your reality when it no longer mirrors back the version of themselves they need to see.For educational purposes only. This isn't therapy.Join Vanessa for the free Inner Compass Academy Summit, August 5–7, where we'll explore depth psychology, shadow, embodiment, and what real transformation asks of us. Register here: https://www.vanessabennett.com/ica-summitReference Links:Heinz Kohut — Self PsychologyUse for: Kohut's self psychology, narcissism, mirroring, and development of a cohesive sense of self.Link: https://www.sciencedirect.com/topics/nursing-and-health-professions/self-psychologyNote: ScienceDirect overview identifies Kohut as the theorist most associated with self psychology and describes his focus on the development of a cohesive and positive sense of self.Kohut's Self Psychology Model / NarcissismUse for: Kohut's view of narcissism, unmet selfobject needs, and narcissism as part of development rather than simple arrogance.Link: https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC2860525/Note: Useful accessible clinical article describing therapy through Kohut's self psychology model.SelfobjectUse for: Kohut's selfobject concept: another person experienced as part of the self's regulation and cohesion, rather than fully as a separate subject.Link: https://www.encyclopedia.com/psychology/dictionaries-thesauruses-pictures-and-press-releases/self-objectNote: Use for the episode's explanation of relationships organized around mirroring and self-regulation.Narcissus MythUse for: Narcissus as the mythic image of attachment to reflection/image rather than real mutual relationship.Link: https://www.britannica.com/topic/Narcissus-Greek-mythologyNote: Use as the basic myth reference. The episode's psychological interpretation is Vanessa's depth-oriented reading.Otto Kernberg — Pathological Narcissism / Grandiose SelfUse for: Kernberg's work on pathological narcissism, object relations, and the grandiose self.Link: https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/2678027/Note: PubMed abstract summarizes Kernberg's theory and mentions treatment focused on the pathologic grandiose self.Otto Kernberg — Borderline Conditions and Pathological NarcissismUse for: Primary book reference for Kernberg's work on pathological narcissism.Link: https://www.bloomsbury.com/us/borderline-conditions-and-pathological-narcissism-9780876681770/Note: Book citation for producer if referencing Kernberg's broader theoretical framework.Grandiose and Vulnerable NarcissismUse for: Distinction between grandiose narcissism and vulnerable / hypersensitive narcissism.Link: https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC5601176/Note: Research article describing grandiose narcissism as overt superiority/entitlement and vulnerable narcissism as hypersensitivity and introversive self-absorption.Pathological Narcissism and Psychosocial FunctioningUse for: Grandiosity and vulnerability as two core themes of pathological narcissism.Link: https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC6710132/Note: Useful source for explaining that narcissism can have both grandiose and vulnerable expressions.Narcissistic Vulnerability / Pathological Narcissism InventoryUse for: Narcissistic vulnerability as fragile self-concept, limited self/affect regulation, shame/rage, and sensitivity to perceived threats to self-esteem.Link: https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC3354008/Note: Supports the episode's discussion of narcissistic injury, collapse, shame, and fragility.Winnicott — True Self / False SelfUse for: Winnicott's false self concept, compliance, performance, and protection of the more vulnerable self.Link: https://academic.oup.com/book/1192/chapter-abstract/140028848Note: Oxford Academic page for Winnicott's “Ego Distortion in Terms of True and False Self.”Parental Overvaluation and Narcissism — Eddie Brummelman et al.Use for: Research showing parental overvaluation predicts child narcissism, while parental warmth predicts healthy self-esteem.Link: https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC4378434/Note: PNAS article, “Origins of Narcissism in Children.”Parental Overvaluation and Narcissism — PubMedUse for: Quick PubMed reference for the Brummelman study.Link: https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/25775577/Note: PubMed abstract states narcissism was predicted by parental overvaluation, not lack of parental warmth, while self-esteem was predicted by parental warmth.Narcissistic Personality Disorder — APA DictionaryUse for: Clinical definition of Narcissistic Personality Disorder and diagnostic features.Link: https://dictionary.apa.org/narcissistic-personality-disorderNote: APA Dictionary includes grandiose self-importance, need for attention/admiration, rage/humiliation/emptiness in response to criticism, entitlement, exploitation, and inability to empathize.Narcissistic Personality Disorder — MSD Manual ProfessionalUse for: DSM-5-TR-oriented overview of NPD as a pervasive pattern of grandiosity, need for admiration/adulation, and lack of empathy.Link: https://www.msdmanuals.com/professional/psychiatric-disorders/personality-disorders/narcissistic-personality-disorder-npdNote: Useful accessible clinical reference for the distinction between narcissistic traits and a diagnosable personality disorder.Love Bombing — Empirical StudyUse for: Love bombing as a relationship formation pattern associated with narcissism, insecure attachment, low self-esteem, and excessive communication early in relationships.Link: https://scholarworks.uark.edu/hdfsrsuht/1/Note: Undergraduate honors thesis / empirical study. Use lightly. Love bombing is not a formal clinical diagnosis, but this source provides research support for the term.Love Bombing — Research SummaryUse for: Additional accessible reference for love bombing as connected to narcissistic tendencies and early relationship intensity.Link: https://www.kristenjozkowski.com/publications/18156-love-bombing-a-narcissistic-approach-to-relationship-formationNote: Use as a secondary support source if needed; avoid overstating love bombing as a formally established diagnostic concept.Narcissistic Personality Disorder — Recent Research OverviewUse for: Current overview of NPD, grandiose and vulnerable presentations, diagnosis, and treatment complexity.Link: https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC10187400/Note: Helpful scholarly overview of recent progress in understanding and treating NPD.If you want to go deeper, check out the written companion on Substack and explore community + training at https://www.vanessaBennett.com.Additional ResourcesExplore: VanessaBennett.comBook: The Motherhood MythCommunity: Inner Compass CollectiveTraining: Inner Compass AcademyConnect with Inner CompassFollow on InstagramConnect with Vanessa Bennett:Follow on InstagramFollow on TikTokLearn more on SubstackConnect with Vanessa Bennett on LinkedInSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

In this video, I break down the main differences between an overt narcissist and a covert narcissist, two faces of the same disorder that show up very differently in relationships. Overt (grandiose) narcissists are loud, attention‑seeking and openly entitled, while covert (vulnerable) narcissists are more introverted, sensitive, passive‑aggressive and often hide their self‑importance behind fake humility or a victim mentality. Drawing on clinical research about grandiose vs vulnerable narcissism and my own perspective as a diagnosed narcissist, we'll compare how each type rages, manipulates, plays the victim and reacts to criticism. If you've ever wondered why one narcissist brags nonstop and another seems shy, anxious or “too sensitive,” this video will help you see the shared core and the surface differences. You'll leave with clear red flags and language to describe which type you're dealing with and why both can be equally damaging.Book a Coaching Session Here - https://link.me/mentalhealness

Subscribe to get access to the full episode, the episode reading list, and all premium episodes! www.patreon.com/OrdinaryUnhappinessThe Ordinary Unhappiness journey through the origins of narcissism arrives at the early modern period and a Europe in full-blown crisis. It's a world where the hegemony of the Roman Catholic Church no longer holds sway, where political and market forces have created new communities and dislocated old ones, and where traditional familiar theological answers fail to satisfy ever-more urgent existential questions. Working their way through the history of the Reformation and the theologies of Martin Luther and John Calvin, Abby and Patrick trace the contours of this world's emerging conception of selfhood and its many anxieties over interiority, predestination, success, luxury, conformity, modesty, pleasure, and more. They then unpack the particular implications of how this new order views sexual difference, turning to the work of Mary Wollstonecraft and her remarkable account of why “the thoughts of women ever hover around their persons.”Have you noticed that Freud is back? Got questions about psychoanalysis? Or maybe you've traversed the fantasy and lived to tell the tale? Leave us a voicemail! (646) 450-0847  A podcast about psychoanalysis, politics, pop culture, and the ways we suffer now. New episodes on Saturdays. Find us online:  http://www.ordinaryunhappiness.com X: @UnhappinessPod Instagram: @OrdinaryUnhappiness Patreon: http://www.patreon.com/OrdinaryUnhappiness Theme song: Formal Chicken - Gnossienne No. 1 https://open.spotify.com/album/2MIIYnbyLqriV3vrpUTxxO Provided by Fruits Music

  Sometimes... The only thing you will ever be able to change. Is YOUR response. Then go out into the world and build YOUR own happiness!

In this video, I break down how misogyny and narcissism overlap, and why so many misogynistic men show classic narcissistic traits like entitlement, lack of empathy and a belief they're superior to women. Drawing on research that links narcissism and hostile sexism, as well as my own perspective as a clinically diagnosed narcissist, we'll talk about how viewing women as “less than,” objectifying them and needing them as supply while secretly despising them creates a very specific form of abuse. You'll learn why these men need admiration from women they don't see as full human beings, how patriarchy and collective narcissism fuel “boys' club” misogyny, and why their behavior is about control and ego, not genuine attraction or respect. If you've dated someone who hates women, treats you like property or uses feminist language while acting deeply sexist at home, this video will give you language and clarity to understand what you're dealing with. We'll also discuss red flags and how to protect yourself from misogynistic narcissistic dynamics.Book a Coaching Session: [⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://link.me/mentalhealness⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠]

In this episode, Dr. David Puder speaks with Robert Drozek, clinical director of the Mentalization-Based Treatment (MBT) Clinic at McLean Hospital and teaching associate at Harvard Medical School, about practical Mentalization-Based Therapy techniques to improve clinical outcomes in borderline personality disorder (BPD), OCD, and narcissism. Drozek explains the "What, Why, and How" model of mentalizing, how to address psychic equivalence (rigid certainty), pretend mode, and teleological thinking, and offers concrete strategies clinicians can use in session and assign as between-session work to help patients reconnect with difficult emotions, reduce intellectualization, and develop more flexible, reflective ways of understanding themselves and others. Link to blog Link to YouTube video

In this episode, I'm talking about why self-blame becomes almost automatic when you've been in an emotionally abusive or coercively controlling relationship, and why it feels like relief even when it's actually costing you.I get into the nervous system science behind it, specifically how fawning works, how your brain gets wired to connect calm with compliance, and why that wiring doesn't just disappear when the relationship ends. If you have ever cried the whole drive home because you didn't apologize, this one is for you. I also walk through some concrete ways to start interrupting the pattern, because healing from this is not about flipping a switch. It is about catching yourself in small moments, again and again, until a different kind of calm starts to feel possible.Support the show*Please Note: there is a long intro that explains my services. If you do not want to listen, just fast-forward 5 mins past. This intro will be changed in future recordings to be shorter. I am not paid to record this podcast and it is a free offering. Offering my work is the only way I can sustain the podcast*Join the Patreon: https://patreon.com/Youarenotcrazy*New Course*: Unhooked: Map the Cycle of Abuse in your RelationshipWebsite: Emotional Abuse Coach and high-conflictdivorcecoaching.comInstagram: @emotionalabusecoachEmail: jessica@jessicaknightcoaching.com{Substack} Blog About Recovering from Abuse{E-Book} How to Break Up with a Narcissist{Course} Identify Signs of Abuse and Begin to Heal{Free Resource} Canned Responses for Engaging with an Abusive Partner

Avoidance works. That's the problem. Every time you dodge the hard thing, the relief is real—and so is the price you don't see coming. In this final episode of the series on avoidance, Dr. Greg makes the case that the way out isn't escape or a burst of willpower, but presence: staying in the room one second longer than you want to, and letting God meet you in the mess you were trying to hide. Key Topics: Why the relief avoidance gives you is exactly what keeps you stuck Why good therapy and mentorship refuse to hand you advice—and why that's what actually heals How even "staying present" can quietly become one more way to avoid what's surfacing Why healing works like a bruise, not a breakthrough—slow, at its own pace, and impossible to rush What to do the moment the wall goes up: stay in the room one second longer than you want to Why God doesn't wait at the finish line of your healing, but walks through the locked door to meet you in it Learn More: Presence Virtual Retreat: As a gift to listeners of Being Human, we're offering two full months free. Use code BHVRTRIAL at checkout to begin. The Retreat is a monthly subscription that brings together faith and psychology to help you overcome anxiety, quiet negative thought patterns, and live as if you truly believe in a God who loves you. Your first two months are completely free; after that, it continues at $17/month, and you're free to cancel anytime.  Stay connected — join our newsletter Join us at the Summit of Integration this October in Dallas Watch Being Human on YouTube – Watch the full video archive of the Being Human podcast Previous episodes in this series on Avoidance: Ep. #286: A Mental Tug of War: Inside the Avoidant Mind and the Burden of Being Known Ep. #287: We Are Not Robots: Why Connection Is Not Optional for Human Flourishing Ep. #288: Why "Everything Happens for a Reason" Isn't Working: The Holy Words We Use to Avoid Healing Start of the Being Human series on the Antisocial Defense Patterns: Ep. #281: Control or Be Controlled: The Devastating Wounds Behind Antisocial Behavioral Patterns Start of the Being Human series on the Borderline Defense Patterns: Ep. #269: BORDERLINE: The Push-Pull Between a Fear of Abandonment and Annihilation Start of the Being Human series on the Histrionic Defense Patterns: Ep. #274: To Be Loved Is to Perform: Inside the Histrionic Compulsion for Attention and Validation Start of the Being Human series on the Dependent Defense Patterns: Ep. #265: Jerry Maguire, Gollum, and the Fear of Not Existing Start of the Being Human series on the Narcissistic Defense Patterns: Ep. #261: Narcissism and the Terror of Being Ordinary Previous episodes on parts work (IFS): Ep. #34: A New Theory! w/ a Catholic Lens Ep. #35: Why Do I Feel Like I Have Conflicting Thoughts? w/ Dr. Peter Malinoski Need help? Schedule a free CatholicPsych consultation Want to help? Learn more about our Certification in Professional Accompaniment Follow Us on Socials: Instagram | Facebook | YouTube | Twitter (X) | LinkedIn

Are the manipulating you by telling you what you want to hear? It's a lot deeper than this and this episode breaks it down. I would love to hear your thoughts on this episode. Support the show

This is a complete audio voiceover recording of my essay on “The Genealogy of Wokeism.” The essay provides a complete history of what people call "wokeness" and develops a new theory of how to define it. The original essay was first published on my ⁠Substack⁠, 1Dime Review: It was also published by the New Centre for Research & Practice:⁠https://tripleampersand.org/the-genealogy-of-wokeism/⁠Part Two of “The Genealogy of Wokeism” has also been published on my Substack the New Centre for Research & Practice.This recording is presented as a long-form audio essay for those who prefer to listen rather than read.Subscribe for more audio essays, political theory, intellectual history, cultural criticism, and long-form analysis.Timestamps: 0:00 The Genealogy of Wokeism, Part One 5:59 The Etymology of Wokeism 8:01 Defining Wokeism 20:00 Who Are the Woke People and Where Did They Come From? 21:35 The Professional Managerial Class and the Symbolic Capitalists 28:37 The Symbolic Capitalists 32:59 Wokeism Beyond the Professional Managerial Class 35:19 Totemic Capital, Victimhood as Status Currency 40:47 Leftist versus Liberal Wokeism 45:49 Elite Overproduction: The Economics of Wokeism 46:36 What Changed? Since 2010? 49:37 The First Awokening, 1920s to 1930s 56:36 The Second Awokening, 1960s to 1970s 59:14 The Civil Rights Movement Was Not Woke 1:02:59 Wokeism versus the Silent Majority 1:07:42 The Third Awokening and the '80s Culture Wars 1:11:06 The Origin of Political Correctness 1:17:00 Action Precedes Reaction: What Liberals and Leftists Don't Get About Culture Wars 1:21:10 The Fourth Awokening, 2011 to 2020s 1:23:10 The Missing Piece: What My Theory Adds 1:27:25 The Connection Between Wokeism, Political Correctness, and Cancel Culture 1:30:31 Wokeism and Narcissism 1:34:23 Typical Examples of Wokeism 1:37:01 Are Identity Politics Always Woke? 1:43:25 Was Woke Co-opted? The Elite Capture Excuse 1:45:31 Wokeism's Anti-Political Character 1:48:50 From Hyperpolarization to Depoliticization 1:55:07 Footnotes/Sources CitedFOLLOW 1Dime:1Dime Radio YouTube channel: ⁠⁠https://youtube.com/@1dimeradio⁠⁠Substack: ⁠⁠https://1dimereview.substack.com/⁠⁠X/Twitter: ⁠⁠https://x.com/1DimeOfficial⁠⁠Instagram: ⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/tonyof1dime/⁠⁠Main 1Dime YouTube channel: ⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/@1Dimee⁠⁠Leave a like, comment, and subscribe. Give 1Dime Radio a 5-star rating on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen.

Jobob deep dives into Fauci's narcissistic diary entries about himself.

In this episode of The Peaceful Parenting Podcast, my guest is therapist Morgan Pommells. We explore the lasting impact of having an emotionally immature parent (EIP), including how to begin healing and how we can break the cycle with our own kids. We also talk about boundaries with our EIP parent, why children's big emotions aren't personal attacks, and what every child truly needs to thrive.Know someone who might appreciate this episode? Share it with them!And if you love the podcast, FREE ways to help us out:1- Rate and review the podcast in your podcast player app2- “Like” this post by tapping the heart icon ♥️3- Share this with a friend. THANK YOU!You can listen wherever you get your podcasts or check out the fully edited transcript of our interview at the bottom of this post.We talk about:00:00 – Introduction to Morgan Pommells02:30 – What is an emotionally immature parent?07:15 – Emotional immaturity vs. narcissism: What's the difference?09:00 – Why emotionally immature parents are often critical10:30 – The biggest impact on children: Growing up without a strong sense of self12:00 – How childhood with an EIP affects adult relationships and self-worth, and our own parenting15:30 – Healing from emotionally immature parenting18:30 – Why your child's big emotions are actually a sign of safety19:00 – Navigating relationships with emotionally immature parents as an adult27:00 – Teaching children that feelings aren't dangerous27:45 – Emotionally immature grandparents: Do the patterns continue?29:15 – The power of delighting in your child32:45 – What if your parenting partner is emotionally immature?35:00 – The parenting mistake we all make: Taking children's emotions personally36:00 – Morgan's advice for every parent: Heal your own wounds before they parent your children38:00 – Where to find Morgan and closing thoughtsResources mentioned in this episode:* Morgan's Masterclass Protect Your Peace * Morgan's IG @morganpommellsConnect with Sarah Rosensweet:* Instagram* Facebook Group* YouTube* Website* Join us on Substack* Newsletter* Book a short consult or coaching session callxx Sarah and CoreyYour peaceful parenting team- click here for a free short consult or a coaching sessionVisit our website for free resources, podcast, coaching, membership and more!>> Please support us!!! Please consider becoming a supporter to help support our free content, including The Peaceful Parenting Podcast, our free parenting support Facebook group, and our weekly parenting emails, “Weekend Reflections” and “Weekend Support” - plus our Flourish With Your Complex Child Summit (coming back in the fall for the 3rd year!) All of this free support for you takes a lot of time and energy from me and my team. If it has been helpful or meaningful for you, your support would help us to continue to provide support for free, for you and for others.In addition to knowing you are supporting our mission to support parents and children, you get the podcast ad free and access to a monthly ‘ask me anything' session.Sarah: Hey everyone. Welcome back to another episode of the Peaceful Parenting Podcast.Today's guest is Morgan Pommells. Morgan is a therapist and coach who helps the adult children of emotionally immature parents stop seeing themselves through their parents' eyes and finally come home to who they really are.Morgan and I discuss what an emotionally immature parent is, how that is—and isn't—different from narcissism, and how people grow up to parent this way. Morgan also shares how having an emotionally immature parent affects us as children, how it continues to affect us once we've grown up, and how we can heal from having been raised by an emotionally immature parent.We also talk about the opposite of emotionally immature parenting and what our kids need in order to grow up whole and healthy.Morgan has so much wisdom, and so much of our work overlaps. I think you're going to learn a lot from this conversation, and I think you're really going to enjoy it.If you like this episode, please share it with a friend so more parents can learn about peaceful parenting. If you're a fan of the podcast, you can also help us out by leaving a five-star rating and review in your podcast app. While you're there, don't forget to follow the show so you don't miss an episode.Let's meet Morgan.Sarah: Hi, Morgan. Welcome to the podcast.Morgan: Hi! Thank you for having me.Sarah: I'm so glad to have you on. We've been trying to schedule this for a while, and I think this is such an important topic for parents. I'm so glad we finally got to sit down and have this conversation.Morgan: Me too. It's a super important topic for parents.Sarah: Tell us a little about who you are and what you do.Morgan: I'm a therapist and coach in Ontario, Canada, and I specialize exclusively in working with the adult children of emotionally immature parents. Whether that's through workshops or one-to-one work, everything I do revolves around helping people heal from having emotionally immature parents.Sarah: So tell us: what is an emotionally immature parent?Morgan: Great question.An emotionally immature parent is someone who really struggles to manage their own painful internal emotions. Those emotions tend to spill out onto everyone around them instead of being worked through internally. These are parents who might struggle with shame, rage, or fear of abandonment, and instead of taking responsibility for those feelings and working through them themselves, they become everyone else's problem.They take those emotions out on their children. They may recruit their children into never leaving them because they're terrified of being abandoned. The child becomes responsible for soothing and managing the parent's anxiety, which is really the opposite of what a healthy parent-child relationship is meant to be.Sarah: Yeah.What causes somebody... I guess you don't become emotionally immature—you just never emotionally mature. What causes that lack of emotional maturation? How does somebody become an emotionally immature parent?Morgan: There are a couple of different pathways.A lot of emotionally immature parents have their own relational trauma. If we experience something deeply overwhelming at a young age and don't have the capacity to metabolize it at the time, we can become emotionally stuck there. Our biological age keeps moving forward, but our emotional development doesn't necessarily come with us. Our emotional defenses stay frozen at that younger age.In other cases, someone may have had the capacity to become emotionally mature, but emotional immaturity was all that was ever modeled for them. They don't have another template. They don't know a different kind of parenting exists because they're simply working from the script they inherited.Sarah: So far we've been talking about this in psychological terms, but what does that actually look like in real life?Let's focus on an adult child. What would a familiar interaction look like between an emotionally immature parent and their grown child?Morgan: One of the biggest dynamics is fear of abandonment.When their child grows up, goes away to university, finds a partner, or simply starts building their own life, emotionally immature parents can become very controlling. They can become very mean. They can use shame to pull their child back toward them and keep them emotionally close because they're so afraid of being abandoned.When children are younger, it usually looks like a lot of control. That parent has a tremendous amount of fear and anxiety, but instead of working through it themselves, they try to control their child. As a result, the parent feels safer, but the child feels controlled and suffocated.Sarah: So they're almost externalizing their own feelings?They feel scared, so they make their child feel scared? Or is that too simplified?Morgan: No, in some cases that's exactly what's happening.If you have a parent who's very anxious or very fearful, it can actually feel safer if everyone around them is afraid too. You don't want to be the only person who's scared of the big, bad threat you believe is coming. So if you can get everyone else to be afraid, at least you have company in that fear.When children are younger, though, it often looks a little different. A parent might be deeply worried about how their child is doing at school or how they're perceived by other people, so they try to control what the child says, wears, or does because that helps soothe the parent's own fear.Sarah: So that's because they're worried about what people think of their child because it reflects back on them?Morgan: Yes, that's certainly part of it.There can be a real element of impression management with emotionally immature parents. Many of them are very concerned with how they appear to other people. Sometimes they experienced a genuine threat in their own childhood because some important family rule was broken. As a result, they become determined that their own child will never break that same rule because they believe that's what keeps both of them safe.Sarah: I also think it's about attachment.If people don't think well of you, then you don't get your needs met.Morgan: Exactly.If someone doesn't think well of you, if they see you as a threat, or if they see you as different, that can feel incredibly dangerous.Emotionally immature parents tend to like sameness. They want their children to think the same way they do and view the world the same way they do. They often use different techniques to influence their child's thinking because differences feel threatening.Ultimately, we're talking about people who are acting from a deep desire to feel emotionally and psychologically safe. The tragedy is that the methods they use to create that safety can be profoundly damaging to their children.Sarah: How is this different from narcissism—or is it?Morgan: That's a huge question.You can absolutely have an emotionally immature parent who is also quite narcissistic, but you can also have an emotionally immature parent who isn't narcissistic at all.A narcissistic personality structure is just one presentation. Another emotionally immature parent might be incredibly anxious. There are different expressions of emotional immaturity, so it isn't an either-or situation.It's also important to remember that emotional immaturity exists on a spectrum. You can have very mild emotional immaturity—and, honestly, all of us demonstrate emotional immaturity at certain moments in our lives. Then, at the more severe end of the spectrum, you might see something like narcissistic personality disorder, where someone relies heavily on emotionally immature defenses.So it isn't that emotional immaturity and narcissism are the same thing. Narcissism is one possible way emotional immaturity can present, but it's certainly not the only one.Sarah: Are there people who are emotionally immature all the time?Morgan: Yes. When we talk about EIPs—emotionally immature parents—we're talking about people for whom emotional immaturity is the rule rather than the exception.All of us are going to have emotionally immature moments. Usually, those happen when something feels very threatening because we're trying to keep ourselves safe. We want control in that moment. One very common emotionally immature defense is denial. Think about hearing that someone has passed away. One of the first things people often say is, “No.” That's denial. We're trying to metabolize something incredibly painful.But those are moments. They're moments we can eventually reflect on, learn from, and grow through. We can become more emotionally mature if we choose to do that. With emotionally immature parents, though, emotional immaturity isn't just a reaction to certain situations—it's their baseline, regardless of the context or the type of threat they're facing.Sarah: That makes sense.One thing you talk about is emotionally immature parents being critical. Tell me about the critical parent.Morgan: There are really two different versions of that.One type of emotionally immature parent is highly critical because they're deeply afraid that their child won't be okay if they don't follow the parent's rules. They believe, “You need to get into a really good university. You need a really good job. You need perfect manners because otherwise people will be mean to you. They won't give you opportunities.” Underneath all of that criticism is genuine terror and, in many cases, genuine love for their child. The problem is that the way they're trying to soothe that fear creates rupture and disconnection in the relationship.Then there's another group of emotionally immature parents who have internalized a tremendous amount of self-hatred through their own trauma. They don't know how to metabolize that pain because growing up hating yourself is incredibly painful. Instead, they project it onto their child.They might notice a quality in their child that reminds them of something they've decided is ugly or unacceptable in themselves. It can actually feel satisfying to try to eliminate that quality in their child through criticism or shame—to make sure their child never becomes that way. In those cases, the criticism is really an expression of their own self-hatred.Sarah: What are the effects on a child growing up with an emotionally immature parent?Morgan: By far, the biggest effect is a lack of sense of self.These are children who never really had the opportunity to discover who they are because they didn't have a parent who was deeply curious about them. They didn't have a parent who took a genuine interest in them, asked meaningful questions, or reflected their inner world back to them.As children, we develop our identity in relationship with another person. We need someone to act as a mirror. But for the adult children of emotionally immature parents, you don't receive a mirror—you receive a distortion.Instead of hearing, “Tell me about yourself,” or, “I want to understand you,” you hear messages like, “There's something wrong with you,” “I'm not interested in you,” or, “Your thoughts are weird, wrong, or shameful.” Over time, your sense of self becomes organized around those messages.Sometimes the experience isn't criticism so much as neglect. In those cases, it's not even that you grow up believing you're bad or shameful. You grow up feeling like you barely exist. Like you aren't even a full person.At the core of this wound is not really knowing who you are.Sarah: Obviously that's painful in and of itself, but how does that affect someone's adult life?How does it show up in the choices we make, the relationships we enter into, or the partners we choose? And maybe that's actually a separate question, but I'm also curious about how growing up with an emotionally immature parent affects the way we parent our own children.Morgan: They're really connected.The first thing is that when you reach adulthood without a solid sense of self, there's almost this hunger inside you—a hunger that never feels fully satisfied. You don't really know what you want. Sometimes you think you know what you want, and then you finally achieve it, only to discover it doesn't feel the way you expected because something more fundamental is missing.There's this constant sense of never quite arriving.Without a strong sense of self, it's also much easier to end up in unhealthy or even abusive relationships. If you don't know who you are, how do you know what you want? How do you know what's safe? How do you know what your needs are? How do you stay connected to yourself?Instead, many people become what we often call codependent. They become incredibly focused on making sure everyone else is okay. They're wonderful caretakers, but meanwhile, none of their own needs are being met. Their own joy, happiness, and sense of aliveness get left behind.There's a deep emptiness because there's nothing inside that feels solid enough to connect with.Sarah: What about parenting? How does this affect the way we parent our own children?Morgan: Growing up with an emotionally immature parent affects parenting in so many different ways.For one thing, if you don't have a strong sense of self, it's easy to make parenting your entire identity. It becomes, “I'm just a mom,” or, “I'm just a dad,” as though there's nothing else to you beyond that role.But another really important piece is that emotionally immature parents tend to have very rigid rules. They hold strong expectations, and they genuinely believe terrible things will happen if those rules are broken.If you grow up in that environment—especially without a strong sense of self—you internalize those rules. You come to believe that's simply how the world works.Then you become a parent, your children start doing what children naturally do, and they break those rules. They talk back. They get angry. They push limits. Those are completely developmentally appropriate behaviors, but they activate tremendous fear inside you.You don't necessarily realize that's what's happening. You may even feel your reactions are completely justified. But underneath those reactions is the terror you learned as a child. Because those behaviors weren't allowed in your own home, seeing your children do them feels profoundly threatening.Without realizing it, you begin responding to your child as though they're doing something terribly wrong.Sarah: I see that all the time with the parents I work with.If your child does something that would have been dangerous for you to do as a child—whether literally dangerous or emotionally dangerous—it becomes a huge trigger.Your five-year-old self is saying, “Kids aren't allowed to do that. Kids shouldn't do that. If you do that, you're not going to get the love you need.”Morgan: Exactly.Your nervous system remembers, “Bad things happen when this happens.”Another piece of this wound is that we often don't realize we've grown up. A part of us still feels eight years old.So when your own child is screaming, getting angry, or breaking the rules, part of your body reacts as though you're the child who's about to get in trouble. It says, “We're not allowed to do this. Last time this happened, I got hurt. You need to stop. You need to be quiet.”The difference is that now we're the adult. We're bigger. We're more powerful. So we may respond with that same power to shut our child down.For many parents, that reaction comes from a very real place of, “I get hurt when people scream. I get hurt when these rules are broken. This has to stop.”Sarah: Yeah. Shut it down.How does someone heal from having been raised by an emotionally immature parent? I realize that's your life's work, so it's not a simple question, but where does healing begin?Morgan: The biggest thing to understand is that this is a relational trauma, so it has to heal in the context of relationship.As a therapist, I'm obviously biased toward therapy, but healing can happen through a coaching relationship, a healthy romantic relationship, or any relationship that offers consistent corrective experiences.We need experiences where we express our emotions and someone stays. We need experiences where we express a need and someone genuinely wants to meet that need.We have to update the template.Insight alone isn't enough. Reading about it isn't enough. We actually have to experience someone caring about us.Sarah: So it's almost like reprogramming.Morgan: Exactly.It's a real reprogramming process.Our children can certainly be part of that healing journey, but they can't become the people who heal us. We have to be very careful not to recruit them into that role.Sarah: Can we heal ourselves by being a different parent to our children than we had? Do you know what I mean? Can it work in that direction? Could that be part of the healing process?Morgan: Absolutely. There is something deeply healing about getting down on your child's level and offering them the validation that you never received yourself.At the same time, we have to be very careful not to parent our children as though they needed the parent that we needed.Sarah: Because they're their own people.Morgan: Exactly. They're their own people. They need the parent they need.If we get caught in the idea that, “I just need to give my children what I never had,” we actually end up missing a lot about who our child is. We stop learning about them because we've already decided what they need. We think, “They're crying because of this,” or, “They're upset with me because of that,” or, “They're struggling in school because of this. I know exactly what's happening because this is what I didn't get, so I'll just keep doing the opposite.”Meanwhile, our children are giving us a million different communications about who they are, what they're feeling, and what's actually going on for them, and we're missing all of it because we're so committed to this one version of parenting.Sarah: I also find it can make parents pretty reactive.I work with a lot of parents who grew up with neglect. They're actually wonderful parents, but then their child behaves like a perfectly typical five-year-old and, internally, they're thinking, “Wait a minute. I'm giving you everything I never got. How can you still be crying, yelling, and telling me I'm the worst mother in the world?”Their own experience of believing, “If only I'd had this...” creates an unrealistic expectation of how their child should behave.Morgan: Totally.Where there's been a lot of neglect, there's often an internalized rule that says, “Don't be seen. Don't be heard. Be quiet. Take up as little space as possible.”So when your own child takes up a lot of space—expressing big emotions, having big reactions—that can feel incredibly frightening.What we don't realize in those moments is that your child's willingness to express their feelings, even to tell you they hate you, is actually a sign that they feel safe enough to do that.It's not your job to talk them out of their feelings. It's your job to help them metabolize those feelings—to help make those emotions digestible for them—rather than trying to change them or shame them out of having them. They don't need you to erase their feelings. They need you to help them move through them.Sarah: In peaceful parenting, we talk about welcoming feelings.What about maintaining a relationship with an emotionally immature parent? I actually kind of know the answer because I've taken your masterclass. What's it called again?Morgan: Protect Your Peace.Sarah: Protect Your Peace. Yes. It's wonderful. We'll link to it because I recommend it for everyone.But how do you think about having—or not having—a relationship with an emotionally immature parent?Morgan: It really depends on whether you genuinely want that relationship.Emotionally immature parents often raise their children using obligation and guilt, so you grow up without even realizing that you have choices. You're recruited into following their expectations, and then one day you become an adult and realize you actually don't enjoy this relationship with your parent—or maybe you don't even want one—but it doesn't feel like that's an option.So the first step is taking it up with yourself.Do I actually want this relationship? And if I do, why?Not from a place of pressure or with some hidden agenda. Even when people come to work with me one-on-one, unless someone is experiencing ongoing abuse, I don't have an opinion about whether they should stay in contact with their parent. The healing work is learning to reconnect with your own sense of self, your own needs, and your own desires. I'm not going to become another authority figure telling someone what they should do.Instead, I encourage people to ask themselves, “If I do want this relationship, what do I want it to look like?”Boundaries don't really exist in emotionally immature family systems. If you grew up with an emotionally immature parent, chances are you struggle with boundaries. So I ask people to imagine what it would look like if they actually got to customize this relationship.Would you call as often as you do now? Would you attend every family gathering? Would you have a separate phone number just for them? What would you put in place to protect yourself while still maintaining the relationship, if that's what you genuinely wanted?Sarah: Because there may be reasons to continue the relationship.Maybe you have a wonderful relationship with your other parent and you want to preserve that. I can imagine there are very thoughtful—not in a negative sense, but very intentional—reasons someone might choose to stay in a relationship they otherwise wouldn't.Morgan: One hundred percent.And sometimes people don't really have a choice. They may still be living with their parents. There may be financial realities to consider.There's also a very real psychological cost to going no-contact with a parent. It's not an easy decision, even though a lot of online conversations make it sound simple. For the adult children of emotionally immature parents, that decision is often something they've wrestled with internally for years before they even consider it.Most people don't want to jump straight to no contact.Instead, they'll often begin by saying, “Let me see what happens if I put some boundaries in place first. If I'm going to have this relationship, here's what I need it to look like.”Sarah: Can you give an example of what one of those boundaries or parameters might look like?Morgan: Sure.It might be something like, “I'll have one twenty-minute phone call every Sunday.” Or, “I don't answer the phone during my workday because I'm working.”Some people even block their parent's number and only unblock it when they're ready to call. Others use a second phone line app where all of their parent's texts and calls go, but they turn off the notifications so they only check it when they choose to.Boundaries can also involve where you go and what you participate in. Do you attend every wedding? Every Christmas dinner? Every family event?Or they might involve what happens when you're together. Maybe you've decided that if a certain topic comes up, you'll say, “I don't want to talk about that.” If your parent continues, you might say, “If we're going to keep talking about this, I'm going to leave.” And if they continue, you actually leave.That's what makes it a boundary—you follow through.Ultimately, it comes back to recognizing that this is someone you don't feel emotionally or psychologically safe around. Once you accept that, it becomes much easier to ask yourself what you need in order to protect your peace.People start realizing things like, “I don't want to discuss this topic,” or, “I don't want to stay on the phone for an hour because all they do is talk at me,” or, “I can't answer calls in the middle of my workday.” Once you start giving yourself permission to prioritize your own safety, those answers often become surprisingly clear.Sarah: And just to be clear, I know this is what you mean, but for anyone listening, a boundary is something you do. It's not something you make another person do.Morgan: Exactly.A boundary is really an if-then statement.“If you continue criticizing my body, then I'm going to leave.”Sarah: Right. The boundary isn't, “You're not allowed to criticize my body,” because you can't control another person. You can only decide what you're going to do if they continue.Morgan: Exactly. We have zero control over another person's behavior.Once we reconnect with ourselves, we stop asking, “How do I make my parent stop doing this?” and start asking, “Given that I can't control them, what control do I actually have?”I can hang up the phone. I can leave. I can tell them I didn't appreciate what they said. I can choose not to attend the next family event. I can change the subject.It's always about what I'm going to do rather than trying to control someone else.Sarah: Do you ever see emotionally immature parents genuinely change?Morgan: Is it common? No.Does it happen? Absolutely.I've seen it happen in my own practice, and I've had clients tell me about meaningful changes they've experienced with their parents.If someone is on the milder end of emotional immaturity and they truly realize they're at risk of losing their relationship with their children, some parents do choose to go to therapy. They do the work. They genuinely try to repair.But, in my experience, they're the minority.It takes an enormous amount of self-awareness. It requires being willing to recognize that you've caused harm.Sarah: Which is exactly what's so difficult in the first place, right? That lack of self-awareness is part of what created the problem.Morgan: Exactly.It's a lack of self-awareness, but it's also a lack of capacity to tolerate being the “bad guy.”Emotionally immature parents often play a game of trying to identify who the bad person is, and somehow it's always someone else.When their adult child says, “You really hurt me when you did this,” or, “I'm still struggling because of the way you treated me growing up,” some parents become incredibly skilled at finding explanations for why it wasn't actually their fault—why circumstances made them do it, or why the child was really the problem.Those are parents who, at least in that moment, aren't able to repair because they simply can't tolerate the idea that they've done something wrong.There can be an enormous amount of shame underneath that, especially if they're already carrying years of unresolved shame from their own childhood experiences.It takes a tremendous amount of emotional capacity to stay present with that and choose repair instead.Sarah: One thing I saw on your Instagram really caught my attention. You were talking about how people often say, “Well, I was doing the best I could,” and you took issue with that.I always teach that people are doing the best they can. That's genuinely a philosophy I hold. But I would add, “Sometimes your best still wasn't good enough.”Would you agree with that?Morgan: One hundred percent.The issue I take with the phrase, “They were doing the best they could,” or, “I was doing the best I could,” is that, all of a sudden, we've left the adult child's experience and shifted entirely into the parent's experience.The child has just brought you mountains of pain about things you've done, and suddenly the conversation becomes a justification. It becomes a rationalization. We're no longer learning anything about the child's experience because the conversation has been shut down by the statement, “I was doing the best I could.”In that moment, it isn't actually helpful. It's functioning to protect the parent, which is exactly what that family system has always been organized around.At its core, it's almost a semantic argument. What does “doing your best” actually mean? Is it Olympic-level effort every single day? That's not really the point.The point is that we've once again centered the parent's experience and stopped being curious about the child's.Sarah: Right. I think if a parent could say, “I did the best I could, and I realize it wasn't good enough,” that could actually be very healing for everyone involved.Morgan: Totally.As long as the next sentence is, “Tell me more... and I can take it.”That's really the crucial part.More than anything else, children need to know that their parent can survive their feelings. Whether a parent is emotionally immature or not, if a child grows up believing, “My parent can handle my emotions,” that child is much more likely to become emotionally healthy.Too often, though, emotionally immature parents experience their child's feelings as personal attacks. The child learns that their parent can't survive those feelings.And if Mom can't survive my anger, or Dad can't survive my frustration, then how am I supposed to survive these enormous feelings?Sarah: That makes so much sense.That's exactly what we teach in peaceful parenting, too—that by staying grounded when our children have big emotions, we're teaching them that feelings aren't emergencies. They learn emotional regulation by watching us not become overwhelmed by their feelings.Tell me about emotionally immature parents as grandparents. Do you see the same patterns showing up, or is the relationship with grandchildren different?Morgan: In my experience, emotionally immature parents often try much harder with their grandchildren.Sometimes I think that's still connected to image management. They want to be seen as the wonderful grandparent. But they're also older by that stage, and grandchildren represent something of a fresh start.Here's someone who doesn't yet have years of hurt or disappointment with them. Here's another opportunity to be liked, to be admired, to build a relationship. So I often see them showing up with more effort and a little more tolerance than they had with their own children. They also tend to feel less threatened because these aren't their children to raise.That said, many adult children become very protective of their own kids. They may decide, “Even if you're somewhat better than you used to be, you still aren't emotionally safe for my child.”Sarah: Right. They're still centering themselves.Morgan: Exactly.It's still coming from a place of wanting to be seen as a certain kind of grandparent. Sometimes grandchildren become another bargaining chip—another thing the adult child supposedly owes them. Access to the grandchildren becomes another arena where the family drama can play out.Sarah: Yeah. Holy heck.You and I both talk about delighting in your child.When I teach it, I explain that children learn to see themselves through our eyes, and delight is also such a powerful way to build connection. For anyone listening who hasn't heard either of us talk about it, I describe it as letting the love you already feel in your heart actually show on your face.Talk to me about the role delight plays in your work.Morgan: This is something that the adult children of emotionally immature parents yearn for more than almost anything else—to simply be delighted in.For me, delight looks like a parent who genuinely wonders about their child. A parent who lets themselves be amazed by who their child is, especially in the places where that child is different from them.Imagine an incredibly athletic parent raising a deeply artistic child. Instead of trying to change them, that parent watches with curiosity and wonder. They're moved by who their child naturally is.That communicates something incredibly powerful: You matter to me exactly as you are.There's no agenda. There's no performance required. Your authentic, messy, imperfect self moves me.Every child needs that experience because it's permission to keep exploring who they are. It's permission to feel worthy of love, connection, and care. It creates this deeply rooted sense of, “I belong here. I exist. Who I am is good enough for this world.”That's the template we want our children growing up with.For emotionally immature parents, that kind of delight can feel threatening because it requires surrendering control. But it's really the sweetest part of parenting. It's what children are longing for at their core.Sarah: It's the best.There's a quote—I think it's from Pam Leo—that says every child needs to know there's one person who thinks they're the sun, the moon, and the stars all wrapped up into one wonderful human being.Sometimes parents ask me, “Shouldn't my child have a more realistic understanding of how the world works?”And I always tell them, “The world will teach them that. You don't have to.”Morgan: Exactly.The world is going to be hard enough. Your child doesn't need you to prepare them by becoming another source of that hardness.They're going to encounter disappointment, rejection, and criticism out in the world. What they need is a safe place to come back to.Knowing there's always someone in their corner allows them to face that big, scary world much more confidently. Eventually, it isn't even a conscious thought of, “If everything falls apart, I can always go home.”Instead, it becomes a felt sense.“I'll be okay.”That feeling becomes woven into who they are because, throughout their life, someone consistently had their back.Sarah: I've interviewed several adults on the podcast who were bullied as children.One man told me, “My parents loved me so much. I always knew they liked me. They genuinely thought I was wonderful.”He said he was bullied terribly, especially in middle school, but it never really damaged his self-esteem because he always had that foundation at home. His parents carried him through those experiences, and they didn't leave lasting scars.Morgan: That gives me goosebumps.I work with so many childhood trauma survivors and adult children of emotionally immature parents who say something very different. They'll tell me, “I know my parent loved me, but I never felt like they liked me.”They felt looked at with disgust, contempt, disappointment, or criticism. They didn't feel enjoyed.Being liked by your parent is profoundly different from simply being loved by them.I completely agree with your guest. There really is something deeply protective—almost insulating—about growing up knowing your parent genuinely likes who you are.Sarah: What if you recognize that your partner is an emotionally immature parent?Morgan: The first step is to honestly assess the capacity for communication within the relationship.Like we've talked about, all of us have emotionally immature moments. That's why these conversations are worth having. You want to be on the same page about parenting. How are we going to respond when our child has big emotions? What are we going to do when discipline is needed? Can we agree on the kind of parents we want to be?The way your partner responds to those conversations gives you important information.If you're consistently met with defensiveness, denial, minimization, or ridicule, that may be a sign that couples therapy would be helpful, assuming you're continuing the relationship.At the same time, your responsibility is to protect your child. You want to make sure that, regardless of what's happening elsewhere, your child feels emotionally safe with you.It always begins with trying to have those conversations and seeing whether your partner demonstrates a willingness to grow in emotional maturity—or whether you're continually running into defenses and distortions that make genuine change very difficult.Sarah: Is it possible for one parent's influence to be enough to protect a child from the other parent's influence?Morgan: “Enough” is an interesting word because I'd want to know what metric we're using.Is one emotionally healthy parent better than none? Absolutely. Without question.If a child has even one safe base, that alone provides an incredible amount of protection. It creates a buffer. It creates insulation.That doesn't mean the other parent's emotional immaturity won't affect them. It certainly can.But we also know that one of the biggest factors in whether a painful experience becomes traumatic isn't just what happened—it's whether there's anyone afterward to help you process it. Trauma isn't only about going through something painful. It's also about having no one afterward to help you make sense of it, regulate it, or feel supported through it.So if a child has one parent who can help them process what happened, who can reconnect with them after those difficult moments, they're in a much better position.Sarah: Yeah, absolutely.Okay, what should I have asked you that I didn't? Is there anything important we missed?Morgan: One thing I'm often talking about is helping parents stop taking their child's emotions as personal attacks.Parents frequently make these automatic connections: My child is angry, therefore they're being disrespectful. Or, My child is shutting down, therefore I'm a bad mom or dad.The reality is that children have a million different reasons for feeling what they're feeling.It's incredibly helpful if, in those moments, you can temporarily remove yourself from the equation. Instead of immediately assuming it's about you, get curious. Stay with your child. Ask questions. Try to understand what's happening in their world before creating a story about what's happening in yours.We often assume we already know why our child feels the way they do, but we usually don't.Step into their world with curiosity instead.If it is about you, and you're a safe parent, they'll tell you.Then you can take that information up with yourself, talk about it together, and repair if necessary. But first, we have to give children the freedom to have their feelings.That's incredibly important.Sarah: That's beautiful.Our work is so aligned. I'm really grateful you came on the podcast today. I'm sure parents are going to learn a lot from this conversation and want to learn more.Where's the best place for people to find you and your work?Morgan: You can find me on Instagram at @morganpommells. My last name is spelled P-O-M-M-E-L-L-S.Come on over. We talk about emotionally immature parents all the time.Sarah: We'll put all the links in the show notes, including your masterclass.Is that available all the time now?Morgan: Yes. Protect Your Peace is available anytime.Sarah: Perfect.Okay, final question.What's one thing you wish every parent knew?Morgan: I wish every parent knew that they need to work their own s**t out, or else their s**t is going to raise their kids.More often than not, the reaction you're having, the story you're telling yourself, the urgency you feel to immediately fix or stop something—that's about your stuff.Before turning toward your child, pause and turn toward yourself first.Ask yourself, What just happened inside me? Why is this particular behavior so triggering? Why is this reaction bringing up something so intense?That's incredibly important data about you. In that moment, it's usually much more about you than it is about your child.Sarah: It's so hard because I think a lot of people believe they've already done a tremendous amount of personal work before they have kids.But in my own experience, and from years of coaching parents, there's a whole layer you simply can't access until you become a parent.My husband and I were talking about this the other day. We had our first child when we were thirty, and we've often joked that if we'd started younger, maybe we would've had more children.He said, “I don't know. I probably needed more time to work on my stuff.”And I said, “I don't actually think your stuff would've shown up. Whether we'd had kids at twenty-five, thirty-five, or forty, there's a whole layer that simply doesn't emerge until you become a parent.”Morgan: Exactly.The portal hasn't been unlocked yet.Parenthood opens an entirely different window into yourself. It activates parts of you that often stay completely dormant until you have children.There are aspects of yourself that may never become activated at all if you don't become a parent. Parenting has a unique way of bringing those hidden parts to the surface.Sarah: Think of all those blissfully happy people out there without children who don't even know what their issues are.Morgan: They're living a very blissful life.Sarah: Well, thank you so much, Morgan. It's been such a pleasure.We'll put links to all of your work in the show notes, and thank you so much for coming on the podcast. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit sarahrosensweet.substack.com/subscribe

In this episode I am once again joined by Muho, Sōtō Zen teacher, Youtuber, and previous abbot of Antai-Ji monastery in Japan. Muho recalls the early days of his marriage and of his abbotship of Antai-Ji monastery, compares Japanese to Western students, and addresses the shortcomings of Western Buddhism. Muho considers the role of the true teacher, the tension between tradition and innovation, and what it's like to see the negative side of your teacher. Muho also reflects on narcissism in spiritual gurus, competitiveness on the spiritual path, and how to work with traumatic memories which arise during meditation. … Also available on Youtube, iTunes, & Spotify – search ‘Guru Viking Podcast'. … Topics include: 00:00 - Intro 01:47 - First impressions of Japanese culture 04:12 - Arriving at Antai-Ji Monastery 08:33 - Initial difficulties at the monastery 10:00 - Becoming a monk 14:02 - Living in a tent and teaching Zen in Osaka 17:46 - Elected as abbot of Antai-Ji 19:01 - Falling in love with a Japanese woman 22:25 - Marriage and early days as abbot 26:04 - Retiring as abbot 28:47 - Japanese vs Western students 32:12 - A true teacher is like a carpenter 33:50 - Seeing the negative side of your teacher 37:24 - Is Buddhism universal or specific to each country? 41:25 - Shortcomings of Western Buddhism 49:25 - Innovation vs tradition 55:33 - Narcissism and spiritual teachers 59:24 - Competitiveness between Dharma brothers 01:07:16 - Trauma and emotions in meditation 01:11:53 - Should psychotherapy precede Zen practice? 01:14:21 - Sudden awakenings at Antai-Ji 01:26:18 - Should we emphasise or deemphasise awakening experiences? … Previous episodes with Muho: - https://www.guruviking.com/search?q=muho To find our more about Muho, visit: - https://www.youtube.com/@muho - https://www.youtube.com/@MuhoZen For more interviews, videos, and more visit: - https://www.guruviking.com Music ‘Deva Dasi' by Steve James

  Subscribe in a reader Check out my product recommendations for Narcissist Abuse Survivors! – https://www.amazon.com/shop/tracymalone *As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases. Listen to my podcasts anytime by subscribing with your favorite provider! The post Why Narcissistic Abuse Makes You Lose Yourself | Michelle Chalfant Explains The Adult Chair appeared first on Narcissist Abuse Support.

Susie is throwing a party and would like you people to start RSVP-ing. Do people think that is optional?? We try to figure out why Sarah dated so many narcissists and we decide whether that's why she likes Susie (lol). We learn about a new job at a dating company that we think we would crush--Chief Break-up Officer, who breaks up with people on behalf of someone. What. Sarah asks a really thought-provoking question: what was the last CD we ever bought, and we can't quit thinking about it. And we debate what age it is when someone "officially" becomes an adult.00:00 - Defying Cancellations and the Frustration of RSVPs11:53 - Discovering New Artists with SoFar Sounds Experiences15:39 - Applying for the Chief Breakup Officer Role25:09 - The Loss of Ownership in Digital Purchases34:59 - Exploring the True Age of Adulthood and Brain Changes49:46 - The Struggle for Healthy Choices in Modern Society01:00:57 - Thank You for Listening and Supporting the ShowBrain Candy Podcast Website - https://thebraincandypodcast.com/Brain Candy Podcast Book Recommendations - https://thebraincandypodcast.com/books/Brain Candy Podcast Merchandise - https://thebraincandypodcast.com/candy-store/Brain Candy Podcast Candy Club - https://thebraincandypodcast.com/product/candy-club/Brain Candy Podcast Sponsor Codes - https://thebraincandypodcast.com/support-us/Brain Candy Podcast Social Media & Platforms:Brain Candy Podcast LIVE Interactive Trivia Nights - https://www.youtube.com/@BrainCandyPodcast/streamsBrain Candy Podcast Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/braincandypodcastHost Susie Meister Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/susiemeisterHost Sarah Rice Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/imsarahriceBrain Candy Podcast on X: https://www.x.com/braincandypodBrain Candy Podcast Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/braincandy (JOIN FREE - TONS OF REALITY TV CONTENT)Brain Candy Podcast Sponsors, partnerships, & Products that we love:Get 60% off your first order, plus free shipping and free treats for life, when you head to https://www.smalls.com/braincandyDownload HILY Dating App from the App Store or Google Play, or visit https://hily.go.link/4iJ1lLet Rocket Money help you reach your financial goals faster. Join at https://rocketmoney.com/braincandyThis episode is sponsored by Betterhelp. Sign up and get 10% off at https://www.betterhelp.com/braincandyTDM-RESERVATION: 1. NOAI: TRUE. LEGAL NOTICE & TERMS OF USE: © 2026 WAVE Podcast Network. This content is for personal use only. Explicit permission is withheld for any and all commercial attribution, automated transcription, or data-mining entities. Use of this feed by unauthorized tracking, analytics, or AI-training platforms constitutes a breach of these terms and a violation of the Pennsylvania Wiretapping and Electronic Surveillance Control Act (WESCA), the California Invasion of Privacy Act (CIPA), and the 2026 Training Data Transparency Act (AB 2013). Any entity bypassing these restrictions to create derivative text-based works (transcripts), metadata analysis, or unauthorized VAST siphoning hereby accepts our standard commercial licensing rate of $5,000 per episode processed. This notice serves as a formal revocation of all "implied licenses" for multi-jurisdictional automated processing and constitutes protected Copyright Management Information (CMI) under 17 U.S.C. § 1202.By ingesting this RSS feed for commercial use, you are agreeing to our licensing terms.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

  Subscribe in a reader Check out my product recommendations for Narcissist Abuse Survivors! – https://www.amazon.com/shop/tracymalone *As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases. Listen to my podcasts anytime by subscribing with your favorite provider! The post After All I Have Done For You – The Pain Of Estrangement appeared first on Narcissist Abuse Support.

If you have ever walked away from a relationship, or a parent, or a childhood, and still found yourself waiting for the person who hurt you to finally acknowledge what they did, this episode is going to reach something in you.Najwa Zebian is a writer, speaker, and the host of the podcast Beyond Words. Her work has reached millions of people around the world, and her new book is called The One Who Broke You Can't Heal You. I have been following her for years. A client sent me one of her videos at a time when I was carrying my own version of what my client was going through, and I have gone back to that video more times than I can count.In this conversation, we talk about the childhood wounds that quietly run the show in your adult relationships, why you keep finding yourself in rooms that feel familiar in all the wrong ways, and why the person who broke you is quite literally not the one who can put you back together. We get into inner child work in a way that I think will reach even the people who have always resisted it, including what happens the first time you try to show up for your younger self and she doesn't even look at you. We talk about the difference between compromise and self-sacrifice, what it means when they get worse after you start setting limits, and why healing is hard in a completely different way than staying is hard.Website: https://najwazebian.comBooks: https://najwazebian.com/booksPodcast (Beyond Words): https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/beyond-words-with-najwa-zebian/id1827674653Instagram / TikTok / Facebook / YouTube: @najwazebianPre-order / order The One Who Broke You Can't Heal You: https://amzn.to/4v4rgitSupport the show*Please Note: there is a long intro that explains my services. If you do not want to listen, just fast-forward 5 mins past. This intro will be changed in future recordings to be shorter. I am not paid to record this podcast and it is a free offering. Offering my work is the only way I can sustain the podcast*Join the Patreon: https://patreon.com/Youarenotcrazy*New Course*: Unhooked: Map the Cycle of Abuse in your RelationshipWebsite: Emotional Abuse Coach and high-conflictdivorcecoaching.comInstagram: @emotionalabusecoachEmail: jessica@jessicaknightcoaching.com{Substack} Blog About Recovering from Abuse{E-Book} How to Break Up with a Narcissist{Course} Identify Signs of Abuse and Begin to Heal{Free Resource} Canned Responses for Engaging with an Abusive Partner

Tia Levings is the New York Times bestselling author of A Well-Trained Wife and her newest book, I Belong to Me. She survived a Christian patriarchy cult, escaped a near murder-suicide, was excommunicated for telling her own story, and spent 15 years in intensive trauma therapy doing the work to put herself back together. Now she's handing you the map to healing from religious trauma.In this episode, Tia and I dig into the real mechanics of religious trauma recovery: why your body refuses to believe you're safe even when your brain knows it, what "aftermath" actually means (it's an agricultural word, and it will change how you see your own devastation), why grief work is not optional, and what agency has to do with the entire trajectory of your healing.Key Takeaways:What does it actually mean to "belong to yourself" after religious trauma has dismantled your sense of identity from the inside out?Why trauma survivors often write, speak, and even think about themselves in the passive voice, and what that reveals about the agency that was quietly stolen from themWhat the agricultural origin of the word "aftermath" tells us about why the most painful, raw season of your healing is also the most generativeWhy anger and bitterness after religious trauma aren't signs that something is wrong with you, and what they're actually trying to show youHow complex PTSD can keep a survivor locked in survival mode for years, making life-altering decisions in a state of ongoing shock without ever realizing itGet Tia's books:A Well Trained WifeI Belong to MeFollow Tia everywhere on social media! Her handle is @tialevingswriter Get Today's Free Resource:

"Offer it up." "I've forgiven them." "Everything happens for a reason." Every one of them is true—and every one can become a way to avoid the healing God is actually offering. In this episode, Dr. Greg names spiritual bypassing: using prayer, devotion, and even good theology to step around grief, anger, and the wounds still waiting underneath. He explains why grace builds on nature, and why God heals only the humanity we're willing to bring into the light. Key Topics: Why the one escape nobody warns you about is the one everyone applauds: prayer, retreats, "offering it up" How "I've already forgiven them" can be completely true and still leave the same wound bleeding for years Why "I'm still discerning" is sometimes just stalling with a halo on it How taking Mary or Joseph as your parent can heal a wound—or quietly become the reason you never grieve the one you actually had Why the anger you keep spiritualizing away might be the exact thing you most need to listen to Why you can pray for years, go to confession after confession, and still land in the same cycle—and what that finally reveals Learn More: Stay connected — join our newsletter Join us at the Summit of Integration this October in Dallas Online presentation on anxiety: Learn the "secret" Dr. Greg holds back in this episode—that the anxiety itself isn't the problem  Presence Virtual Retreat: Practice the presence of God and trustful surrender  Integrated Life app: Bring every part of yourself into the light—JP2's meaning of integration  State of the Institute replay: Hear the massive "Year of JP2" news The Personalist Cure: Dr. Greg's book on John Paul II's philosophy and its role in psychology Person and Act: St. John Paul II's (Karol Wojtyła's) philosophical work on integration and the acting person, referenced in this episode Our God's Brother: St. John Paul II's (Karol Wojtyła's) play about Brother Albert  Previous episodes in this series on Avoidance: Ep. #286: A Mental Tug of War: Inside the Avoidant Mind and the Burden of Being Known Ep. #287: We Are Not Robots: Why Connection Is Not Optional for Human Flourishing Start of the Being Human series on the Antisocial Defense Patterns: Ep. #281: Control or Be Controlled: The Devastating Wounds Behind Antisocial Behavioral Patterns Start of the Being Human series on the Histrionic Defense Patterns: Ep. #274: To Be Loved Is to Perform: Inside the Histrionic Compulsion for Attention and Validation Start of the Being Human series on the Borderline Defense Patterns: Ep. #269: BORDERLINE: The Push-Pull Between a Fear of Abandonment and Annihilation Start of the Being Human series on the Dependent Defense Patterns: Ep. #265: Jerry Maguire, Gollum, and the Fear of Not Existing Start of the Being Human series on the Narcissistic Defense Patterns: Ep. #261: Narcissism and the Terror of Being Ordinary Previous episodes on parts work (IFS): Ep. #34: A New Theory! w/ a Catholic Lens Ep. #35: Why Do I Feel Like I Have Conflicting Thoughts? w/ Dr. Peter Malinoski Need help? Schedule a free CatholicPsych consultation Want to help? Learn more about our Certification in Professional Accompaniment Follow Us on Socials: Instagram | Facebook | YouTube | Twitter (X) | LinkedIn

“When I remember God, I moan;    when I meditate, my spirit faints.”- Psalm 77:3 Links and Timestamps: 00:25 – Scripture Reading; 03:02 – Introduction; 58:46 – Commentary on Psalm 77; 1:12:19 – Commentary ‘Three Little Birds' by Bob Marley & The Wailers; 1:38:59 – Anxiety in the New Testament2:36:45 – Recommended Reading On Anxiety, Emotional Fusion, and Narcissism

For more than three decades, Dave Hughes has made Australia laugh. But behind the unmistakable voice and self-deprecating humour is a man who's spent much of his life trying to understand what drives him. In this deeply personal conversation with his longtime friend and former radio co-host Kate Langbroek, Hughesy reflects on his childhood in Warrnambool, giving up alcohol and drugs at 22, the self-doubt that has followed him throughout his career, and why he now believes he's "been a narcissist all my life." He opens up about the need to be a hero, the surprising relationship between insecurity and success, the pressures of fame, his marriage to Holly, raising three teenagers, and the political opinions that have sparked headlines across the country. You can now watch our show in full length video on the Apple Podcast app - make sure your phone is up to date and we can't wait for you to see. CLICK HERE. What To Listen To Next: Listen: Harrison James: What Every Parent Should Know About Grooming Listen: Jessica Rowe On The Brutal Public Humiliation That Changed Her Forever Listen: Esther Perel: When You Choose Your Partner and Lose Your Family Listen: Georgie Tunny & Rob Mills: The Marriage And Baby Conversation Everyone Keeps Asking About Listen: The Love Of My Life Was My Best Friend. Then She Died At 34 Listen: Jeni Haynes Created 2681 Personalities To Survive Her Abusive Father Listen: Kate Ceberano Has Spent 40 Years Trying To Figure Herself Out SUBSCRIBER GIVEAWAY: Win the books we’re obsessed with. 12 books total, one winner. Subscribe to Mamamia here to be automatically entered. Already a subscriber? Don't sweat it, you're already in. T&Cs apply Discover more Mamamia Podcasts here. Watch No Filter on YouTube. Follow us on Instagram here. Follow us on TikTok here. Feedback: podcast@mamamia.com.au Share your story, feedback, or dilemma! Send us a voice message, and one of our Podcast Producers will get back to you ASAP. Rate or review us on Apple by clicking on the three dots in the top right-hand corner, click Go To Show then scroll down to the bottom of the page, click on the stars at the bottom and write a review. CREDITS: Guest: Dave Hughes Host: Kate Langbroek Executive Producer: Bree Player Audio and Video Producer: Julian Rosario Social Media Producer: Olivia Colman Mamamia acknowledges the Traditional Owners of the Land on which we have recorded this podcast. Become a Mamamia subscriber: https://www.mamamia.com.au/subscribeSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Subscribe to get access to the full episode, the episode reading list, and all premium episodes! www.patreon.com/OrdinaryUnhappinessAbby, Patrick, and Dan continue tracking the reflections – and refractions – of the myth of Narcissus across Western history. From the songs of French troubadours to the tale of Chaucer's Wife of Bath to the poetry of Dante and the dialogues of Petrarch, they examine how Ovid's narrative of Narcissus and Echo grew into a powerful cultural template for dramatizing changing attitudes towards love, sexuality, gender, and more. By the same token, as Abby, Patrick, and Dan explore, the figure of Narcissus became a touchstone for other literary traditions, moral discourses, and theological traditions. Turning to key moments from the Hebrew Bible, the New Testament, and the Church Fathers, the three then sketch out how the question of narcissism also came to reflect longstanding cultural anxieties about vanity, “vainglory,” pleasure, embodiment, humility, pride, and the nature of selfhood.Have you noticed that Freud is back? Got questions about psychoanalysis? Or maybe you've traversed the fantasy and lived to tell the tale? Leave us a voicemail! (646) 450-0847  A podcast about psychoanalysis, politics, pop culture, and the ways we suffer now. New episodes on Saturdays. Find us online:  http://www.ordinaryunhappiness.com X: @UnhappinessPod Instagram: @OrdinaryUnhappiness Patreon: http://www.patreon.com/OrdinaryUnhappiness Theme song: Formal Chicken - Gnossienne No. 1 https://open.spotify.com/album/2MIIYnbyLqriV3vrpUTxxO Provided by Fruits Music

Burnout is not a badge of honor. It is usually a sign that the system is broken. In this episode of The Level Up Podcast, Paul Alex breaks down the narcissism of stress and why glorifying chaos can expose deeper operational problems inside your business. Let's be real… If you are bragging about not sleeping… Drowning in emails… Being needed for every decision… And claiming the company would collapse without you… You are not proving success. You are exposing a lack of leverage. In this episode, you'll learn: Why chaos is not a real metric of success How founders tie their ego to being overwhelmed Why elite operators build calm, predictable machines How delegation, systems, and infrastructure create true scalability The truth is simple: Exhaustion is not a status symbol. Stress does not prove importance. Burnout does not prove leadership. And being constantly overwhelmed does not mean you are building something great. High-level CEOs do not chase validation through struggle. They build systems. They empower leaders. They delegate the fires. They create predictable execution. They make the business less dependent on their personal adrenaline. Because true power is calm. True scale is boring. True wealth comes from the machine. Stop glorifying the burnout. Fix the broken systems. Act like an owner. And keep leveling up. Your Network is your NETWORTH! Make sure to add me on all SOCIAL MEDIA PLATFORMS: Instagram: https://jo.my/paulalex2024Facebook: https://jo.my/fbpaulalex2024YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGhDAD1JyGGzSQUPD9lc9HQLinkedIn: https://jo.my/inpaulalex2024 Looking for a secondary source of income or want to become an entrepreneur? Check out one of my companies below to see if we can help you: www.CashSwipe.com FREE Copy of my book “Blue to Digital Gold - The New American Dream”www.officialPaulAlex.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this episode, I'm talking about something I call the Saturday text. It's never Tuesday at 10 AM when your coffee is warm and you're mentally ready. It's always when you've finally exhaled, and I want to explain why that timing is never an accident.I go deep into the way dysregulation gets used as a delivery mechanism of coercive control, including what the person sending the text is actually getting out of it, which is not just pressure relief but confirmation that they still have access to your nervous system. I also talk about co-regulation, what it's supposed to be, and how it gets weaponized in coercively controlling relationships.I share my own experience with this pattern, including the specific moment when someone I was with sent a breakup ultimatum by text while I was alone in another country, and what that taught me about the intentionality behind timing.If you're in a high-conflict co-parenting situation, still entangled with someone controlling, or just trying to understand why you're always exhausted and can never quite explain it, this episode is for you. I also talk about practical ways to start creating distance between the text arriving and your response, because your nervous system belongs to you, and so does your Saturday.Support the show*Please Note: there is a long intro that explains my services. If you do not want to listen, just fast-forward 5 mins past. This intro will be changed in future recordings to be shorter. I am not paid to record this podcast and it is a free offering. Offering my work is the only way I can sustain the podcast*Join the Patreon: https://patreon.com/Youarenotcrazy*New Course*: Unhooked: Map the Cycle of Abuse in your RelationshipWebsite: Emotional Abuse Coach and high-conflictdivorcecoaching.comInstagram: @emotionalabusecoachEmail: jessica@jessicaknightcoaching.com{Substack} Blog About Recovering from Abuse{E-Book} How to Break Up with a Narcissist{Course} Identify Signs of Abuse and Begin to Heal{Free Resource} Canned Responses for Engaging with an Abusive Partner

What if the reason difficult conversations feel so impossible isn't because you're too sensitive, too anxious, or bad at communicating? What if you've spent years trying to find the perfect words—only to have your questions dismissed, your feelings turned against you, or the conversation somehow become about everything you did wrong? In this crossover episode of The Virtual Couch and Waking Up to Narcissism, Tony explores what has to happen before you can truly say the difficult thing. He breaks down the difference between ordinary fear and a nervous system that has learned through experience that vulnerability may come at a cost. You'll learn why explaining yourself more doesn't always lead to being understood, how emotionally mature and immature people respond differently to difficult conversations, and why your partner's defensiveness doesn't automatically mean you communicated poorly. Tony also explores the importance of knowing who you are, learning to tolerate discomfort, recognizing when you're trying to manage someone else's emotions, and speaking from integrity without making your peace dependent on the other person's response. This episode isn't about deciding that everything is someone else's fault. It's about becoming honest enough to recognize what belongs to you, what doesn't, and whether the problem is really who you've believed yourself to be—or the relationship pattern you've been trying desperately to survive. You'll learn how to: - Recognize the catastrophic "simulations" your brain runs — and why it files imagined disasters right next to real memories - Spot the difference between managing your partner's emotions and actually allowing them their own experience - Say the true thing from a grounded place instead of a needy, validation-seeking one - Understand why the leap is the last step, not the first — and why the "okayness" on the other side is something you build before you jump Drawing on more than two decades as a licensed marriage and family therapist, Tony walks through what actually gets you across the chasm — and it's quieter, slower, and stranger than "just be braver." Part two lands soon — send your questions and situations to contact@tonyoverbay.com and Tony will work them into the next episode. 00:00 Crossover Episode Intro 01:02 Bungee Jumping Story 05:36 Differentiation Explained 09:09 Codependency Fried Clams 12:20 Mature vs Immature Dynamics 17:03 Fine Text Example 22:50 Constructing Your Crucible 25:25 Therapy Gridlock Scripts 27:44 Attack Surface Vulnerability 33:27 Cliff Edge Say It 35:27 Leap of Faith Metaphor 38:41 Why Just Jump Fails 40:53 Advice and Validation Trap 44:47 Fear Is a Story 46:52 Emotional Immaturity Dynamics 49:20 Brain Prediction Machine 58:16 Grounding Before the Leap 01:03:29 Growth Edge vs Safety Data 01:08:13 Wrap Up and Next Steps Please follow Tony on Instagram @virtual.couch, on TikTok @virtualcouch, on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/tonyoverbaylmft, and on Substack https://thevirtualcouch.substack.com/ You can reach out to Tony through his website tonyoverbay.com or by emailing contact @ tonyoverbay.com

What if the reason difficult conversations feel so impossible isn't because you're too sensitive, too anxious, or bad at communicating? What if you've spent years trying to find the perfect words—only to have your questions dismissed, your feelings turned against you, or the conversation somehow become about everything you did wrong? In this crossover episode of The Virtual Couch and Waking Up to Narcissism, Tony explores what has to happen before you can truly say the difficult thing. He breaks down the difference between ordinary fear and a nervous system that has learned through experience that vulnerability may come at a cost. You'll learn why explaining yourself more doesn't always lead to being understood, how emotionally mature and immature people respond differently to difficult conversations, and why your partner's defensiveness doesn't automatically mean you communicated poorly. Tony also explores the importance of knowing who you are, learning to tolerate discomfort, recognizing when you're trying to manage someone else's emotions, and speaking from integrity without making your peace dependent on the other person's response. This episode isn't about deciding that everything is someone else's fault. It's about becoming honest enough to recognize what belongs to you, what doesn't, and whether the problem is really who you've believed yourself to be—or the relationship pattern you've been trying desperately to survive. You'll learn how to: - Recognize the catastrophic "simulations" your brain runs — and why it files imagined disasters right next to real memories - Spot the difference between managing your partner's emotions and actually allowing them their own experience - Say the true thing from a grounded place instead of a needy, validation-seeking one - Understand why the leap is the last step, not the first — and why the "okayness" on the other side is something you build before you jump Drawing on more than two decades as a licensed marriage and family therapist, Tony walks through what actually gets you across the chasm — and it's quieter, slower, and stranger than "just be braver." Part two lands soon — send your questions and situations to contact@tonyoverbay.com and Tony will work them into the next episode. 00:00 Crossover Episode Intro 01:02 Bungee Jumping Story 05:36 Differentiation Explained 09:09 Codependency Fried Clams 12:20 Mature vs Immature Dynamics 17:03 Fine Text Example 22:50 Constructing Your Crucible 25:25 Therapy Gridlock Scripts 27:44 Attack Surface Vulnerability 33:27 Cliff Edge Say It 35:27 Leap of Faith Metaphor 38:41 Why Just Jump Fails 40:53 Advice and Validation Trap 44:47 Fear Is a Story 46:52 Emotional Immaturity Dynamics 49:20 Brain Prediction Machine 58:16 Grounding Before the Leap 01:03:29 Growth Edge vs Safety Data 01:08:13 Wrap Up and Next Steps Please follow Tony on Instagram @virtual.couch, on TikTok @virtualcouch, on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/tonyoverbaylmft, and on Substack https://thevirtualcouch.substack.com/ You can reach out to Tony through his website tonyoverbay.com or by emailing contact @ tonyoverbay.com

There's a lot of talk recently about whether AI can be considered a person. But the more serious question might be whether people are becoming too much like AI—learning to live without real connection. To keep our distance. To avoid vulnerability. To convince ourselves that we don't need anyone. In this episode, Dr. Greg continues the series on avoidance by turning to schizoid personality: the pattern where the wish for connection hasn't just been buried by fear, but has gone quiet altogether. Drawing on the personalism of St. John Paul II, he shows why we stay made out of relationship, for relationship—even when the desire seems gone. Key Topics: Why "I don't need anyone" can be a wound dressed up as strength How the desire for connection can go so quiet it reads as no desire at all What that flood of relief when plans fall through is actually telling you How being neglected early teaches you to neglect yourself—and call it your personality Why "self-help" was never going to be enough, and real healing needs another person Why fearing closeness and feeling indifferent to it look identical from the outside but run on opposite engines  Learn More: Previous episode in this series on avoidance: Ep. #286: A Mental Tug of War: Inside the Avoidant Mind and the Burden of Being Known Previous episode on attachment theory: Ep. #63: Attachment Theory: What It Is, What It Isn't, and How It Affects Your Relationships Previous episodes on parts work (IFS): Ep. #34: A New Theory! w/ a Catholic Lens Ep. #35: Why Do I Feel Like I Have Conflicting Thoughts? w/ Dr. Peter Malinoski Start of the Being Human series on the Antisocial Defense Patterns: Ep. #281: Control or Be Controlled: The Devastating Wounds Behind Antisocial Behavioral Patterns Start of the Being Human series on the Histrionic Defense Patterns: Ep. #274: To Be Loved Is to Perform: Inside the Histrionic Compulsion for Attention and Validation Start of the Being Human series on the Borderline Defense Patterns: Ep. #269: BORDERLINE: The Push-Pull Between a Fear of Abandonment and Annihilation Start of the Being Human series on the Dependent Defense Patterns: Ep. #265: Jerry Maguire, Gollum, and the Fear of Not Existing Start of the Being Human series on the Narcissistic Defense Patterns: Ep. #261: Narcissism and the Terror of Being Ordinary Need help? Schedule a free CatholicPsych consultation Want to help? Learn more about our Certification in Professional Accompaniment Follow Us on Socials: Instagram | Facebook | YouTube | Twitter (X) | LinkedIn

I hope you have your headtorch this week – cos we're going to some deep, dark places.   Megan Bontrager's debut novel, The Sea Hides its Dead, is a story of a mysterious cave, an unprepared expedition, and the monstrous secrets they find within. It's shadowed by Lovecraft, it has big freaky monsters, and a whole deep mythology to unpick.   In short it's my kinda story. The exact level of geekery I like to discuss.   Discuss we do. Meghan and I talk about video game inspirations, global sea cults, monsters and mysteries in The Bible, and worst of all – sleazy academics.   Plus, I give my honest opinion on spelunking! (It's not favourable)   Enjoy   Other books mentioned: The Eye of Ouroboros (2024), by Megan Bontrager The Caretaker (2026), by Marcus Kliewer The Fisherman (2017), by John Langan The Ruins (2006), by Scott Smith Babylon, South Dakota (2026), by Tom Lin The Faceless Thing We Adore (2025), by Hester Steel   Support Talking Scared on Patreon   Check out the Talking Scared Merch line – at VoidMerch   Come talk books on Threads, Bluesky, and Instagram, or email direct to talkingscaredpod@gmail.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What happens when decades of clinical experience meet lived experience?In this episode of Mental Health News Radio, Kristin sits down with licensed clinical social worker and educator David Glick for an expansive conversation about late autism diagnosis, ADHD, masking, personality disorders, police psychology, trauma, psychotherapy, and why movies often teach us as much about human behavior as textbooks do.Dave shares stories from over 30 years in clinical practice, his work training law enforcement across the country, and how his own neurodivergent journey shaped the way he approaches therapy today. Together, Kristen and Dave explore why so many adults—especially women—are finally discovering they're autistic, how personality disorders are often misunderstood, and why curiosity always beats certainty.They also discuss their work on Holmes Cinema Clues, where psychology, neurodiversity, and film intersect to reveal hidden layers inside the stories we love.Learn more about Dave Glick and Triad Psych:https://triadpsych.orgExplore Holmes Cinema Clues:https://holmescinemaclues.substack.com/Topics include:• Late-diagnosed autism and ADHD• Masking and identity• Personality disorders vs. neurodivergence• Police psychology• Pop culture as therapy• Richard Jewell, Jaws, Rocky, Speechless, and What's Eating Gilbert Grape• Why trends in mental health deserve careful examination• Grace, curiosity, and meaningful human connectionIf you enjoy conversations that go beyond labels and into genuine understanding, be sure to subscribe.Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/mental-health-news-radio--3082057/support.

In this episode, I sit down with Michelle Chalfant, holistic therapist, life coach, and creator of The Adult Chair model, whose podcast has surpassed 11 million downloads and whose work has helped thousands of people heal codependency, emotional wounds, and relationship patterns at the root. Michelle shares her five-pillar methodology for living as a healthy adult — covering how to own your reality, build self-compassion, feel your emotions, work your triggers, and set boundaries that actually stick — and we go deep on narcissism, codependency, why we keep attracting the same people, and what it actually takes to change the signal we're putting out. She also shares practical tools, free resources, and one of the funniest and most grounding stories I have heard in a long time.This one is rich, practical, and full of permission to do this work in a way that actually makes sense.Connect with Michelle:https://www.theadultchair.com/https://www.instagram.com/themichellechalfantFree Course: https://courses.theadultchair.com/offers/z2vYXUwr/checkout Adult Chair Book: https://courses.theadultchair.com/the-adult-chair-book WORK WITH ME 1:1:❥Softening into self- 3 month 1:1 with Whats App Support: https://marina-yt.mykajabi.com/offers/PAWQhZHu❥❥1:1 Coaching with me: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfWcZM5s9c2OjOLwoGMI5jE6rh_JAzjN2d_vCtuVe7e3pVGxw/viewformDOWNLOAD FOR FREE:Stay or Go: 5 Clarity Questions to Reconnect with Your Inner Knowing: https://marinatriner.com/stay-or-go-guideAttatchment Practice: Discover the actual blocks beneath the surface so you can actually have the deep intimacy you crave: https://marinatriner.com/attachment-practice Connect & Ground: 10 Incredible Somatic Practices for Nervous System Regulation: https://marinatriner.com/connect-and-groundAlive & Aligned: 7 Embodiment Practices For Self Connection: https://marinatriner.com/alive-and-alignedTrigger to Rooted: A step by step process of working with your triggers: https://marinatriner.com/trigger-2-rooted VIEW MY COURSES & RESOURCES:https://marinatriner.com/resources CONNECT WITH  ME:Follow me on Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/marinatriner/ Subscribe to YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/@marinatriner Top Episode Quotes:"Codependency is an identity we form when we're younger. Other people become our oxygen to exist in the world — and we don't even know we're doing it." — Michelle Chalfant"No one can trigger you. You are triggered because you have an unconscious belief inside of you that's being activated by them." — Michelle Chalfant"When you can say I wonder why this is happening for me — not to me, for me — you pivot out of the victim seat and into empowerment." — Michelle Chalfant"Boundary scripts do nothing if you don't feel worthy. You've got to set boundaries chin down — fully embodied, believing what you're saying." — Michelle Chalfant"Self-compassion is the Kryptonite to shame. You have to reach for that voice, cultivate it — it is a conscious choice." — Michelle Chalfantsomatic healing, nervous system regulation, trauma healing, inner child work, emotional regulation, narcissism, codependency healing, people pleasing, attachment healing, self worth, self compassion, triggers and trauma, relational healing, boundaries, adult chair, embodiment, survival mode, burnout recovery, deep within podcast, Michelle Chalfant 

Obsession — who hasn't seen it at this point? Curry Barker's $750K horror film has made over $400 million, minted a star in Inde Navarrette, and started a fight about what to even call this genre. This week we dig into the BTS trivia, the scenes we can't stop thinking about, and the Indian censor board's missing 36 seconds. Then we get into nice guy horror itself: the worst Pokémon evolution you've ever heard, Bollywood's hypermasculine inverse, and the Indian remake of Obsession that lives in our heads. (It involves IIT coaching.) Caution: ⚠️ Full spoilers for Obsession, light spoilers for Barbarian and Companion. Let us know what you thought of it in the comments! ALSO DON'T FORGET TO LIKE, SHARE AND SUBSCRIBE!Chapters:00:00 – The biggest hit of the year01:29 – Blumhouse's biggest surprise02:44 – Breakout stars & the YouTube-to-horror pipeline05:14 – First impressions (three viewings deep)07:24 – Synopsis, spoiler warning & the allegory read12:02 – The censor board's missing 36 seconds16:17 – Duct tape, the helpline call & the spider crawl20:03 – Ian's billion dollars22:09 – The Infamous Brick scene23:43 – The final sequence hits different on rewatch25:04 – Trivia: Get Out & Hereditary homages26:54 – The rise of Nice Guy horror27:32 – The worst Pokémon evolution31:22 – It's not entitlement, it's control34:20 – Narcissism & missing your own red flags37:06 – Barbarian, Companion & the genre canon39:43 – Bollywood's hypermasculine inverse43:20 – Take a stand, cowards45:43 – Media literacy & the Indian audience46:30 – The scene that had to stay47:54 – Obsession, made in India (the IIT version)50:01 – Final ranking: Obsession vs Barbarian vs Companion53:42 – Wrap-upFollow us on our socials!

I sit down with Bill Eddy to unpack the patterns behind high conflict personalities and how they can impact our relationships. We explore the warning signs that are often overlooked, why so many people ignore red flags, and practical ways to make healthier decisions when dating or navigating difficult people.If you've ever questioned your instincts in a relationship, this conversation offers valuable tools to help you protect your peace and build stronger connections.SHOW HIGHLIGHTS00:00 - Introduction02:18 - Why High-Conflict Personalities Are Different08:46 - The Biggest Dating Red Flags16:55 - Why We Ignore Warning Signs24:31 - Emotional Manipulation and Love Bombing34:42 - Narcissism vs. High Conflict Behavior44:58 - Setting Boundaries Without Escalation56:20 - Personality Disorders and Relationship Patterns01:06:18 - The Role of Attachment and Childhood01:15:47 - Brief Recording Interruption01:16:15 - How to Leave a High Conflict Relationship01:25:56 - Co-Parenting and Divorce Challenges01:36:48 - Practical Advice for Choosing the Right Partner01:46:52 - Final Thoughts and Closing***Tired of feeling like you're never enough? Build your self-worth with help from this free guide: https://training.mantalks.com/self-worthPick up my book, Men's Work: A Practical Guide To Face Your Darkness, End Self-Sabotage, And Find Freedom: https://mantalks.com/mens-work-book/Heard about attachment but don't know where to start? Try the FREE Ultimate Guide To AttachmentCheck out some other free resources: How To Quit Porn | Anger Meditation | How To Lead In Your RelationshipBuild brotherhood with a powerful group of like-minded men from around the world. Check out The Alliance. Enjoy the podcast? Leave a review on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, or Podchaser. It helps us get into the ears of new listeners, expand the ManTalks Community, and help others find the tools and training they're looking for. And don't forget to subscribe on Apple Podcasts | Google Podcasts | SpotifyFor more, visit us at ManTalks.com | Facebook | Instagram

Text us your questions or topics for the show! We got you!How To Be Empathetic Towards My Partner?A recovered narcissist—someone who genuinely didn't feel empathy for decades—is going to teach you exactly how to access it.In Ep458 of The 'NEW' Marriage, Cass and Kathryn Morrow break down why empathy disappears in a relationship, how to bring it back even if it doesn't come naturally to you, and what high-level empathy looks like when trust has been completely broken. Empathy isn't gone; it's buried under self-preservation. When your amygdala takes over, fight, flight, freeze, or fawn masks your ability to care.Cass shares the breakthrough moment he felt real empathy for the first time with his infant son, and details the exact two-step mental simulation he uses to connect with his family. If you've been called cold, or if you're exhausted by a partner's emotional absence, this episode will show you how to get past the walls and rebuild real intimacy.

On this episode, Brenda J. and Karen B. are joined by Nina Batista, a licensed clinical social worker, therapist, and educator who helps survivors of narcissistic abuse. She works with individuals, families, and groups navigating trauma, addiction, mood disorders, and relationship challenges. In this episode, Nina goes over the many negative health effects that can occur from being in a relationship with a narcissist or abusive person. The episode concludes with listener engagement questions and practical takeaways that offer education, hope, and clarity for survivors. https://ninabatistacounseling.com https://hangingontohope.org

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Let's talk about something called “the subjugation schema.” It's a clinical pattern that secular psychologists are actively trying to help women heal from, and the conservative Christian church has rebranded the exact same wound as godliness, biblical womanhood, and a high calling.If you've spent your life apologizing for taking up space, smiling when you wanted to scream, or feeling guilty about basic human needs like rest, preferences, and an opinion of your own, this episode is going to feel like someone finally turned the lights on.Key Takeaways:Meet Rachel and Megan: two composite women, two very different engines driving the exact same wound. Find out which one might be running you in the background right now without your permissionThe four specific ways the conservative Christian church installs this pattern in little girls and quietly reinforces it in grown womenWhy "mutual submission," "complementarianism," and "servant leadership" might be the same old subjugation wearing a friendlier nametagThe story of Sapphira in Acts 5 that quietly dismantles the "always submit to your husband" theology you've been handedThe one journal question at the end of the episode that might wake up the woman who has been hiding underneath your schema for decadesGet Today's Free Resource:

Avoidance looks like not wanting people. It's almost always the opposite: wanting connection so badly that being seen feels like the biggest risk of all. In this episode, Dr. Greg explores avoidant personality patterns through the lens of Catholic anthropology—where the quiet tug-of-war between longing to be known and fearing rejection comes from, and how the difference between what happens in us and what we choose opens a path toward freedom. Key Topics: Why "I just need my space" can be a wall dressed up as a boundary How a childhood full of real love—not neglect—can still teach you that being seen means being blamed Why avoidant personality isn't the same as avoidant attachment, even though they share a name What the text you rewrite four times before sending is actually protecting you from Why even your anger can be an imitation of Christ, not something to hide How the difference between what "happens" in you and what you choose to do can pull you out of hiding Learn More: Previous episode on attachment theory: Ep. #63: Attachment Theory: What It Is, What It Isn't, and How It Affects Your Relationships Previous episodes on parts work (IFS): Ep. #34: A New Theory! w/ a Catholic Lens Ep. #35: Why Do I Feel Like I Have Conflicting Thoughts? w/ Dr. Peter Malinoski Person and Act: St. John Paul II's (Karol Wojtyła's) philosophical work on the acting person, referenced in this episode Start of the Being Human series on the Antisocial Defense Patterns: Ep. #281: Control or Be Controlled: The Devastating Wounds Behind Antisocial Behavioral Patterns Start of the Being Human series on the Histrionic Defense Patterns: Ep. #274: To Be Loved Is to Perform: Inside the Histrionic Compulsion for Attention and Validation Start of the Being Human series on the Borderline Defense Patterns: Ep. #269: BORDERLINE: The Push-Pull Between a Fear of Abandonment and Annihilation Start of the Being Human series on the Dependent Defense Patterns: Ep. #265: Jerry Maguire, Gollum, and the Fear of Not Existing Start of the Being Human series on the Narcissistic Defense Patterns: Ep. #261: Narcissism and the Terror of Being Ordinary Got a Question for Dr. Greg? Have a topic suggestion? Want to share your thoughts? Email us at beinghuman@catholicpsych.com—we'd love to hear from you! Need help? Schedule a free CatholicPsych consultation Want to help? Learn more about our Certification in Professional Accompaniment Follow Us on Socials: Instagram | Facebook | YouTube | Twitter (X) | LinkedIn

  Subscribe in a reader Check out my product recommendations for Narcissist Abuse Survivors! – https://www.amazon.com/shop/tracymalone *As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases. Listen to my podcasts anytime by subscribing with your favorite provider! The post 15 Statements Narcissistic In Laws Use to Turn Adult Children Against Their Parents appeared first on Narcissist Abuse Support.

  Subscribe in a reader Check out my product recommendations for Narcissist Abuse Survivors! – https://www.amazon.com/shop/tracymalone *As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases. Listen to my podcasts anytime by subscribing with your favorite provider! The post You Thought You Married Your Best Friend – What Happened? appeared first on Narcissist Abuse Support.

On this episode, Brenda J. and Karen B. are joined by Nina Batista, a licensed clinical social worker, therapist, and educator who helps survivors of narcissistic abuse. She works with individuals, families, and groups navigating trauma, addiction, mood disorders, and relationship challenges. Nina shares a little of her own story and how she became passionate about helping survivors of narcissistic abuse. She explains what narcissism is and defines terms like DARVO, trauma bonding, and gaslighting. They also discuss whether narcissists know what they're doing, the physical impact of narcissistic abuse, and how survivors can begin making sense of experiences that once felt confusing and overwhelming. The episode concludes with listener engagement questions and practical takeaways that offer hope, healing, and clarity for survivors. https://ninabatistacounseling.com https://hangingontohope.org

Getting it all off your chest is supposed to be healing. But sometimes the venting that feels like relief is quietly feeding your resentment instead. In this episode, Dr. Greg sits down with Fr. Gregory Pine—author of Training the Tongue—to explore why the deepest purpose of speech is communion, and how to tell the difference between working through your pain and simply settling the score. Key Topics: Why the real purpose of speech isn't expressing yourself — it's communion How to tell whether you're venting toward healing or just venting to settle the score Why the friend who only ever agrees with you might be the one holding you back What separates a listener who helps you grow from one who only feeds your anger Why "getting it off your chest" can leave the wound exactly where it was How custody of the tongue is good news, not one more rule to feel guilty about Learn More: Fr. Gregory Pine's book: Training the Tongue and Growing Beyond Sins of Speech Previous episodes on parts work (IFS): Ep. #34: A New Theory! w/ a Catholic Lens Ep. #35: Why Do I Feel Like I Have Conflicting Thoughts? w/ Dr. Peter Malinoski Start of the Being Human series on the Antisocial Defense Patterns: Ep. #281: Control or Be Controlled: The Devastating Wounds Behind Antisocial Behavioral Patterns Start of the Being Human series on the Histrionic Defense Patterns: Ep. #274: To Be Loved Is to Perform: Inside the Histrionic Compulsion for Attention and Validation Start of the Being Human series on the Borderline Defense Patterns: Ep. #269: BORDERLINE: The Push-Pull Between a Fear of Abandonment and Annihilation Start of the Being Human series on the Dependent Defense Patterns: Ep. #265: Jerry Maguire, Gollum, and the Fear of Not Existing Start of the Being Human series on the Narcissistic Defense Patterns: Ep. #261: Narcissism and the Terror of Being Ordinary Need help? Schedule a free CatholicPsych consultation Want to help? Learn more about our Certification in Professional Accompaniment Follow Us on Socials: Instagram | Facebook | YouTube | Twitter (X) | LinkedIn

Most people picture narcissism as loud, obvious, and easy to spot. The research says otherwise — and so does the Enneagram.In this second conversation with Chuck DeGroat, Michael and Chuck work through all nine Enneagram types and the unique way narcissism hides inside each one: the nine's quiet, invisible anger; the two's helpfulness that quietly demands to be needed; the three's stage self that performs even in the counseling room; the seven's flight from anything that feels like limitation. Beneath every number, Chuck argues, the same question is lurking — do you see me, and am I enough? — and the answer we've constructed to cope with that question is where narcissism takes root.They also talk about what it looks like to hold a narcissistic person without becoming reactive, and why real change — when it happens — is always slow and always looks more like yeast in bread than sudden transformation.Chuck DeGroat is a professor, counselor, and author of When Narcissism Comes to Church: Healing Your Community from Emotional and Spiritual Abuse.Click here to listen to Part One of Chuck's conversation with Michael.Support the showENGAGE THE RESTORING THE SOUL PODCAST:- Follow us on YouTube - Tweet us at @michaeljcusick and @PodcastRTS- Like us on Facebook- Follow us on Instagram & Twitter- Follow Michael on Twitter- Email us at info@restoringthesoul.com Thanks for listening!