The capacity to understand or feel what another person is experiencing
Having spent the last decade of his life working on the Joseph Smith Papers, Matthew Godfrey knows a thing or two about the Prophet's life. And as next week the Come, Follow Me chapters cover the stirring revelations Joseph received in Liberty Jail, we sat down to learn all we could from Matthew about them. For example, did you know that Joseph wrote nine letters total from Liberty Jail and just two them make up sections 121–123? On this special bonus episode, Matthew shares why he believes Liberty Jail changed Joseph as a person and as a prophet. “When you get into Joseph's life, you see that he's really not all that dissimilar from you or from me.” Show Notes 2:40- Joseph Smith Papers 6:42- A Changing and Evolving Relationship with Joseph Smith 10:12- History: The Family Business 11:54- Attaching Meaning to History 13:38- The “Much” in “After Much Tribulation” 23:25- Other Characters 27:15- The Inhumanity of Liberty Jail 30:13- Value of Friendship in the Life of the Prophet 35:55- A Personal Liberty 37:55- Joseph and Emma's Letters 41:20- Empathy and Urgency 43:44- When God Seems Absent 47:55- Redemptive Experiences 51:07- What Does It Mean To Be All In the Gospel of Jesus Christ? Find the full episode transcript at ldsliving.com/allin. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
There are two you's on the court, Self 1 and Self 2. Self 2 is your ally when you play pickleball. Self 1? Not so much. Self 1 just yaps your ear off with nonsense while Self 2 is trying to get the work done. In this week's podcast we talk to you about the difference between them and how to quiet Self 1. In the riff, we discuss pickleball empathy. Trust me - this is worth a listen. The Inner Game of Tennis by Tim Gallwey - an amazing book. You can find out more about the Diadem Icon paddle by visiting Diadem Sports here. Use the code VIPickleball to get our discount at checkout (using the link you help support our ability to provide you with these podcasts and our other free content). You can read our complete Diadem Icon Review here. Register to get our weekly VIPickleball emails by signing up here. Let us know if you want to be notified about our January camps in Tampa, Florida by emailing us at firstname.lastname@example.org. Join us at our immersive pickleball learning community - VIPickleball. Find out more and get on our waitlist at wearepickleball.com. If you or a loved one wants to learn pickleball, check out Play Pickleball, a Beginner's Guide - available at In2Pickle.com (digital) or Amazon (paperback). If you like the podcast, please give it a rating. And share it with your friends. If you like it, they probably will too. Stay well. Tony --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/in2pickle/support
On episode 71 of Welcome To The Winners Circle, Derek Pang and co-host Bianca Léger interview Shannon Smadella (IG: @shannonsmadella) an ordained spiritual minister & teacher metaphysician, Reiki master, Akashic reader, mental health advocate, business executive and former Miss Canada who returns to WTTWC for her second appearance. Here are some of the subjects we touched on: - What she loves about her world right now. - Her ultimate teacher in her life. - Empathy. - Her mission today. - The practices that bring her the most joy in this world. - Working with the elements. - Her entry into the metaphysical world. - The impact of psychedelic medicine upon her journey. - Her involvement with MAPS Canada. - Current scientific research regarding the positive benefits of psilocybin mushrooms. - The importance of integration in regards to one's return from a psychedelic experience. - The energy healing practise of Reiki. - Closing words of wisdom. I hope you guys enjoy this podcast as much as we did. We are all on the same path, The Hero's Journey, just at different points along the way. Thank you so much for listening! Connect with us on Instagram: WTTWC Podcast: @wttwc Derek Pang - @pangyoga Bianca Léger - @bee.leger https://www.welcometothewinnerscircle.com
It's impossible to deny the charm of HARVEY, because if you do, you're choosing ‘smart' over ‘pleasant.' Of those two, you know which we'd recommend. The titular non-character might be described as an invisible, six-foot-three-and-a-half-inch, anthropomorphic rabbit, but Harvey is so much more than a “benign but mischievous creature”: it's a highlight of the inherent value of personhood, an appeal to consciousness of the other, and a rejection of the bourgeois pressures of society – all wrapped in an all-time Jimmy Stewart performance. For a generation of people (including many of us) that came of age amid a cultural wave that deified sourness, pretense, and irony, its warmth and crucial insistence on pleasantness elevates it above feel-good cinema and into a personal entreaty. Follow us on Twitter at https://twitter.com/trylovepodcast and email us at email@example.com to get in touch! Buy tickets and support the Trylon at https://www.trylon.org/. Theme: "Raindrops" by Huma-Huma/"No Smoking" PSA by John Waters. Music: “Hippy Hippy Hop” from HARVEY (sung by Aileen Carlyle as Miss Tewksbury). 0:00 - Episode 140: HARVEY (1950) 5:37 - The episode actually starts 8:00 - The Patented Aaron Grossman Summary 9:55 - Jason's thoughts 15:12 - Cody's thoughts 19:46 - Harry's thoughts 25:29 - Aaron's thoughts 29:49 - Empathy vs. society 34:21 - The Ghibli-like scene where Elwood peaks 41:01 - Elwood as catalyst for social consciousness 44:19 - The mystery of Harvey the pooka 50:29 - Could've been edited as a horror film à la THE BABADOOK (2014) 52:26 - What makes Harvey more than a coping mechanism for Elwood's grief 55:53 - Should they have shown the rabbit? 57:39 - The implications of Harvey being real 1:00:11 - Final thoughts 1:04:17 - Cody's Noteys: Force of Rabbit (trivia)
In this episode of ABL Live, we covered a variety of topics including the air traffic control protest of Southwest Airlines' vax mandate, the Texas school shooter who was given a "coming home party" when he was released on bond, Raiders head coach Jon Gruden resigning after "offensive" private emails leaked to the media, Ben & Jerry of Ben & Jerry's Ice Cream being destroyed by AXIOS reporter Alexi McCammond over their Israel boycott, NASA releasing a cringe Kamala Harris video with paid child actors, and much more!
“The Called Ones Pt. 2" is brought to us again by Kishore. Jesus really told us to love everyone. It's so easy to get caught up in wanting to band together with people who like what we like and who hate what we think we should hate. I encourage you to hate the sin in your life before looking to the sin in others' lives. Empathy starts with humility. Scripture references: Romans 8:28 Matthew 9:9 Exodus 28:1-2 Exodus 28:43b John 8:36 2 Cor 3:16- Romans 6:11-14 Matthew 9:10 Luke 5:29 (ESV) Galatians 5:22-23 Matthew 9:11 Luke 18:9-14 Matthew 21:31b Matthew 20:15-16 Matthew 9:12 Matthew 9:13 Hosea 6:6 1 Samuel 15: Psalm 51:16-17 Micah 6:6-8 Matthew 11:19 Matthew 25:35-36 Matthew 25:40
Sharon Steed is an Empathy Consultant. She works with businesses who need to build empathy between their people in these challenging times. As you'll hear, Sharon has a pronounced stutter. But that's something that makes clients want to work with her. She knows what it's like to be different. Sharon understands the power of leveraging diverse strengths and of profiting from difference not masking it or running away from it. Sharon could have avoided the stage. Instead, Sharon brings her stutter to her clients as part of her trainings and keynote talks. In today's episode: Why people are starved of connection Where Sharon found the courage to leverage her stutter How Sharon facilitates conversations in empathy How being a TED speaker led to a business idea What the business case is for empathy at work Check it out now!
Big Girl Money hits the virtual road! This October, we were so excited to help the women and allies committee at Alteryx put on their breast cancer awareness month event, a live BGM show! This episode dives into how our intergenerational partnership approached a breast cancer diagnosis while continuing to build our business, and how we built empathy towards each other (14:24 - 51:40). Don't miss the intro to hear all about Wendy's wedding! Use Code BIGGIRLMONEY for $20 off at hello-trove.com Follow us on instagram to see the pictures! www.instagram.com/biggirlmoney
This episode is an original clip of episode 37. We discuss how a mindless and non-empathic apology can be a manipulative and downfall to any relationship. Thank you for listening to the podcast. As always, you hit us up with questions on our Instagram or our Facebook page. Enjoy! Let us know what you thought. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/zo-and-jen/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/zo-and-jen/support
Hey ya'll, I'm Jenna Renee Shellman (she/her). Welcome back to Leading With Your Gut, the podcast. LWYG, has featured people from around the world who've shared stories about having the courage to listen to their gut instincts or their intuition. The podcast is strongly tied to vulnerability and making decisions that aren't necessarily acceptable or favored in society. Leading With Your Gut will still focus on intuition and vulnerability. However, the themes around upcoming episodes will be centered on self-love, empathy, and connection. One of my favorite quotes is "When you know better, you do better" (Maya Angelou); and through storytelling, we can learn to do better. Leading With Your Gut is a podcast about having the courage to do what is right for us and what is right for others. Stay tuned for brand new episodes coming soon. Follow Leading With Your Gut on Instagram. Follow Jenna Renee Shellman on Instagram. Music from Uppbeat (free for Creators!):https://uppbeat.io/t/mountaineer/gotchaLicense code: L3RSBEWQAHB43PHC
- Joshua Driver And so it's always been confusing to me why startups don't think about their culture from day one. And because we spend so much of our wake time at work, especially on our stage and the positive vibes or feelings you get out of helping others or contributing to the betterment of your community or society or making a difference for somebody else is such an important experience I think everybody should have, INTRO Why aren't we focusing on culture from Day 1? Today, we look at building connection in the world of start-ups. My guests are Josh Driver and Zach Rodenbarger from Selfless.ly. They have a lot to say about how to build connection AND their technology platform is also a platform for companies to give back, so this is like a double-impact interview. Zach and Josh's origin story begins just before the pandemic, launching their platform with high hopes and ideals into a pretty brutal business environment. They are talking about how they sustained connection, built their company, and expanded the scope of influence in the midst of the dual pressures of start-up life and a bruising global pandemic. As a bit of a teaser, you will hear about the importance of taking a walk, how “hangry” can get in the way of communication, and why Nerf guns could be a good idea for your office culture. Zach and Josh are both tech guys who are from the same Indiana town of Valparaiso. The met in 2018, committed to the concept of building a platform where companies and individuals can give not just money but time and effort to support causes that matter. The website describes the platform memorably: “Selfless.ly is a unique company that was designed by selfless people to help the world become a better place.” - Liesel Mindrebo Mertes I'd love to hear from both of you. Why do you think that that is even an important conversation to be having? And how would you define empathy work to me. - Zach Rodenbarger There's a few tangible examples. That is Zach Rodenbarger, the COO of Selfless.ly - Zach Rodenbarger Sometimes in our interactions, Josh will come in or I'll come in and we'll have something and go back and forth. And then one of us will say, do you need to go for a walk? - Zach Rodenbarger And I was like. - Zach Rodenbarger Yes, I need to go for a walk. I need a little fresh air, you. And maybe that's just because we've been at our computers for a couple of hours or longer and need to have take a pause and have a step back. And so we've had that over the year, especially when we're working hard and looking at new timelines and goals and things. And I know I've needed a walk or two here and there. - Liesel Mindrebo Mertes We had other good practices. Sometimes it's a walk. I also find that sometimes it's a snack. I have you eaten recent links to a snack? - Joshua Driver Yes. We've encountered the snack situation as well. Yes. Hunger is a thing so much. And this is Josh Driver, fellow-hangry sufferer and the Founder of Selfless.ly - Liesel Mindrebo Mertes That was like one of my biggest learning curves early on in my marriage. I I used to think it was just Luke. It's totally both of us be like, Is this really a thing, or am I just really hungry right now? And you can't know until you're no longer hungry, like, you can't even find out. - Zach Rodenbarger I think that's a good follow up on empathy. It's probably easier to see in other people. And then when do we take that step back and look at ourselves and actually admit that? And I think that is really helpful to business partnership or even as we continue to onboard new employees, you know, thinking through, how am I coming across to others? - Liesel Mindrebo Mertes But also, do you put yourself in their shoes and how are they feeling and so kind of both well and hearing that it actually takes a foundation of some relationship and trust to be able to take someone suggestion to do something like, go for a walk. I can imagine that a less mature or self aware moments. Somebody being like, maybe even the way it could be delivered. Just go take a walk. Somebody being like, I don't need a walk. You need a walk? No, I'm just making a really good point. - Liesel Mindrebo Mertes But to be able to be at a place where I imagine it takes some work get to that point. - Zach Rodenbarger Absolutely. - Liesel Mindrebo Mertes A lot of times I find with guests or people I get to work with those that really, like, are doing the work of promoting more human workplaces and more connection at work. There's an element that comes out of their own personal experience. So I would love to hear from both of you a time where meeting that connection and empathy at work was really important in your own personal story, so that could be giving it to someone or a time where you were like, I'm not. Okay. I need some support right now. - Joshua Driver Yeah. I think when I left the startup space and went into a corporate job, I came into a workplace environment and culture that might have been a little hostile and toxic. Like, there is a big disconnect between the leadership and the teams and the mentality of you're lucky to have a job versus we're lucky to have you as an employee. I wasn't exactly realized yet. And I had noticed when I join the company in my role that there was a lot of hostile communication. People had segregated themselves on one side or another and coming into that since I had been startups for so long and been on the ground for creating that culture. - Joshua Driver That was very new to me to be in the middle of this disconnect. And it taught me personally about how I want my next company to run and where I think we needed to head and be ego free and transparent and communicate in more of a we're all on the same level here. Like, don't view me as your boss. We're just jumping in together to fix an issue. And I think as far as feeling left out or where I really could have used some support was when my first full time job was as an EMT here, then wished hospital and going through some of the things for the first time and all the trauma there. - Joshua Driver There's no debrief or support. I think it's better now than it was, but you kind of had to process and cope individually with some of the things that you would see. And so that was really difficult for me to overcome at times when you have to process seeing the such negative things at times. - Joshua Driver Quite frankly, like volunteering someplace and getting the I feel like I'm making a positive difference outside of the trauma of emergency medicine was a big driving factor. A lot of my coworkers and stuff would turn to substance abuse and other things sometimes, but I was fortunate enough to have a good support system, whether it was my family or friend group to where if things were really getting rough, that somebody would jump in and say, hey, let's catch up or reconnect. And so I was lucky in that regard. - Joshua Driver But a lot of first responders, unfortunately, don't have that type of network to help them with that. - Liesel Mindrebo Mertes Thank you for sharing that. And I imagine even as you talk about the importance of volunteering, that there's a through line to some of what you're currently doing. - Joshua Driver Yeah. - Liesel Mindrebo Mertes Zach, how about for you? - Zach Rodenbarger So for me, with thinking through empathy in my past experiences, we can look to even just in the early days of self asleep and thinking about, hey, we both took this leap to start something new. And then about six months later, COVID hits. And so how do we work through this time where everything just radically changed, where we just launched the company? We launched the company in January and February of 2020. And then a month later, radically different thinking through. How is my co founder feeling right now? - Zach Rodenbarger How do I stay optimistic and pass that along to him and vice versa? We're both kind of feeling these challenges and seeing this real time, right that we had these ideas and projections and we're going to create group, volunteering outdoors, and we're going to invite people to these events and then that's not going to happen. And so how do we really think through and change that strategy? But also, how did I think through, you know, both of us leaving our corporate jobs to do this. And so losing that security and saying, okay, I understand that this is maybe something he's going through right now and the pressure he's going through. - Zach Rodenbarger So how do I stay optimistic to then pass that along and vice versa? And that was really helpful during those times? - Liesel Mindrebo Mertes Did you ever have days where you were both just like, really down in the dumps? It wasn't like one person could encourage the other. It was just both low, especially early on in that pandemic. - Zach Rodenbarger For me, I think for the most part, one or the other would see that and feel that and maybe because we're both high empaths. So if Josh was down, I was like, I can't be or vice versa. He may have a different perspective, but I remember thinking that. And so even though it was a really tough day, this is what it's all about. And so I'll stay positive or vice versa. And he would look at me be like, this is when he needs to step up. - Liesel Mindrebo Mertes Yeah, - Joshua Driver I can't remember specifically when we had those times. But I remember even if we were going to be talking to a specific person turning in, saying, I don't have an inmate today to have this conversation. Do you mind just taking this on your own and doing that? I remember a few times where we had that discussion where if we're both feeling challenged, which is actual, we there. See, I think there were a few times where we might have just said, let's just call it a day early and go for a walk or go get a slice of pizza or something and and get out of the office for a little bit or go to the Lake each like, I think within reason we would step up on behalf of each other where we needed to. - Joshua Driver It was just not the perfect day. Just saying, alright, let's take a break in re energize and come back to it tomorrow. - Liesel Mindrebo Mertes That can be so good. And it sounds like really, of course, of course, that would be a good thing to do. But it's amazing how hard sometimes it can feel in the moment, especially with the entrepreneurial churn and pressures and one's own expectations. So I acknowledge how important that can be and how like sometimes it can feel harder to do than it seems is a good job cutting. - Joshua Driver I like to just get burn myself out trying to work on the issue at hand. Zach, does a really good job of cutting me off for like of a meter and saying, this is all the time we have for this. We need to move on. Otherwise, I'll sit down whatever whatever issue is at hand. So he does a good job of saving my own sanity. - Zach Rodenbarger I definitely like to break tasks up into the smallest parts and pieces and just get something done for that day or something like that. And Josh definitely wants to power through and accomplish it all in one day. - Liesel Mindrebo Mertes Yeah, I am that trait, Josh. It makes me think there was a there was a friend that I had in College and we used to kind of like joke about his mindset. We would joke that Ben would break his whole day down into micro goals, and it always allowed him to feel good about himself because he would be like, I'm on even the little things. Like, I'm gonna walk through the quad more efficiently than ever before and talk to two people. And I used to think like, what a funny quirk about how Ben's mind works. - Liesel Mindrebo Mertes But now I look and I'm like, man, Ben was probably just 15 years ahead of all of us in self awareness of like, oh, that's maybe a key to living like a more bounded and contented existence than the rest of us had a handle on at 22. - Joshua Driver Yes, Zach is close to that, and I envy that very much because I don't have that level of organization and granularity that see and your friends have. MUSICAL TRANSITION Building connection at work is important…and it can be hard to know where to start. What can you do to support the mental health of your people, to care for them and keep them engaged in the midst of all of the pressures and disruption? You don't have to figure it out on your own; let Handle with Care Consulting help. With keynote options, certificate programs, and coaching sessions available, we have a solution to meet your needs and budget. Sign up for a free consultation at lieselmertes.com. Together, we can put empathy to work. MUSICAL TRANSITION - Liesel Mindrebo Mertes I find in building connections with people, there are times where it feels really easy and natural and times where it's a lot more challenging. What are times in either of you or both of you can answer where building connection at work feels really easy for you. And why. - Joshua Driver Interesting. I would say that I'm - Joshua Driver I love to people watch, and I'm always interested in everybody's story. How did you get to where you are today? What experiences have you had? And so it's easy for me to get to know people because I'm just naturally just so curious about everyone's story. - Zach Rodenbarger I find I have to be maybe a little more intentional to provide that space to connect. And maybe that even goes to our overall topic of empathy to take a second and say, okay, if I was coming in on the first day or the second week, how would I want to be treated? Because I think it's easy for me. And as I mentioned earlier, probably Josh, it's easy for us to just kind of put our heads down and work. And so taking that time and being giving that space as well to make the connection, even if it's at lunch time only or something. - Zach Rodenbarger But at least you're very focused on allowing that space to chat and providing that because I know for me during the workplace, well, we'll chat later or something, but if you don't provide that space, then obviously it's harder to make that connection, especially in the first week, the first six months, and things like that and thinking, when would I want to have someone reach out to me whether they're a colleague, a boss, or even an intern can be anything. - Liesel Mindrebo Mertes Yeah. That reminds me of even a slide that I was showing yesterday and a talk that I was doing about imagination and empathy. I hear that a little bit of what you're saying, and although that doesn't always get you exactly to the right place, because you can't ever fully know what another person is wanting or experiencing, it oftentimes will move you closer. What would I want on my first day or first week? And then to be able to act out of that can really close what can sometimes seem like a big distance. - Liesel Mindrebo Mertes You both kind of offered some things in your answer, but I'll ask it explicitly as well. What are sometimes we're building connection at work feels difficult. - Joshua Driver I've started to embrace more of when I am feeling extroverted versus introverted and sometimes when I'm hyper focused on something in the distraction of having to communicate or interact can be frustrating because I need the focused time and especially with new employees coming on. You want to be available and transparent and present. And at our stage right now it's really difficult to be present with everything that we need to get done. And so making sure that I'm not coming off as disinterested is something that I always in the back of my mind. - Joshua Driver I want to make sure that I'm not conveying because it's not true. But there are some times where I just want to get something done and want to be sequestered for a little bit. - Liesel Mindrebo Mertes Do you have yourself in moments like that, like needing to actively engage in self talk, even about things. So I'll get my hand like I have to think about my body language and moments like that of being like, oh, I need to show attention and care right now. I'm going to do something different. Like do you do mental pivots like that? And what do they look like? - Joshua Driver Sometimes Zach and I have been together for so long now. I can tell with his expression where I've crossed the line of of being rational more. So there are certain triggers, I think too. And he'll say, yeah, you need to maybe just spend some time by yourself for a minute and go for a lock so I will replay a situation like that in my mind and try to think through. Alright, what did I say? Did I mean to come off this way or if I don't really came off a different way than I meant to trying to understand? - Joshua Driver Like how did this person infer that this was what I was trying to say. And so that has been helpful to rethink the experience so that I try not to replicate that. Moving forward. I. - Liesel Mindrebo Mertes I Imagine there's a line walk between replaying the experience and getting stuck in a never ending loop. How do you thread that needle? - Joshua Driver Not. Well. I like to solve everything and have closure. So if there's still a difference of opinion, I like to try to really put the pressure on myself to get it resolved. And in some cases I think I don't look at difference of opinion is like who's going to win this fight and get their way? I think it's more from their background and their perspective. Is there some truth to it and allow that was Zach especially? There are some things that he's very passionate about and has a perspective that he really feels strongly. - Joshua Driver And I'd like to think for the most part if he fully believes in something that I may not be so sure on and wants to go that I just trust him implicitly that it's the right thing and that he's very good at doing his research and looking at different aspects of things. - Liesel Mindrebo Mertes Well, and out of that foundation of relationship, you know what you can extend to them. - Joshua Driver Yeah. I think we're a lot of co founders that are state right now. We don't have time to be working on every project together, be on every call together and make decisions together. And so I think if you have a co founder that you don't feel that you feel like you have to micromanage or be a part of every decision, then that's going to be a really difficult culture to scale. It's going to make your company really difficult to grow. And so everybody that we've hired and when Zach joined Selflessly is very clear. - Joshua Driver I want the empowerment. I want to create the space for them to be empowered to make decisions that are best for a company and feel confident that they are able to execute on whatever task. - Zach Rodenbarger Is this where I say the complete opposite? - Liesel Mindrebo Mertes This is a safe space. - Zach Rodenbarger I've been trying to obviously likewise empowering each other. And we did used to be on most of the calls and get to feel how each is thinking. And so it did help in the first month to six months to be on a lot of the calls together or as he mentioned, in the same room even. And so I can overhear his call, whether he wants me to or not and understand kind of what he's thinking, the action maybe he would take or his thinking on that his rationalization, right. - Zach Rodenbarger What would he be thinking in the same spot and so helpful to be able to, you know, have his perspective in in the back of my mind and probably vice versa from sharing that office for the first twelve months and everything. So that's been really good. - Liesel Mindrebo Mertes I hear a lot of respect and self inquiry in what you both have said. And yet I imagine there's still moments where like on an emotional on a practical on an interpersonal level, you guys have missed and or hurt one another in your journey. What has making meaningful repairs looked like. - Zach Rodenbarger Nerf guns. Yeah. I think for one of my birthday, Josh got a couple of Nerf guns for me, and so if we need, we can shoot each other, but also part of the startup mentality, right? We wanted to bring a little bit of fun into the office, but if you needed, you could shoot someone from across the room. That's been one way. - Liesel Mindrebo Mertes At least I'm totally thinking of my two sons right now, and the moment where Magnus turns to Moses, and he's like, okay, you can just hit me five times in the chest. That's fine. Just don't tell mom. - Joshua Driver The biggest issue with that is that I'm a bad shot, so I'm not even like to get I like you. I can't make my points in the same way he can, because I tend to miss him completely, whereas he's really good at targeting me. So that was, in hindsight, not a great decision for a birthday gift start. - Joshua Driver She has to make a lot of lessons learned. - Joshua Driver Yeah, I would recommend that to other companies unless you're really good at aiming - Liesel Mindrebo Mertes either that or you want to devote part of your work day to target practice. - Joshua Driver Yes. - Liesel Mindrebo Mertes Well, maybe you guys would like to expand on the I hear like some fun, some levity, like not taking yourself too seriously. Are there other things that you do to make repairs when you guys have gotten a little bit off? - Joshua Driver I think that we find out if if we're having a conflict, that taking the time, like taking some space and cooling down is helpful, but also eventually, once we've had time to kind of process that situation. General, I think there was a time where I went and got a Blizzard or a box of dilly bars and dropped them off at the house. His house is like a don't let go of me. Ever don't leave me gift. I'm sorry. I was cantankerous and vice versa where I think we have a cool down moment and then we Zoom out and think about it there's. - Joshua Driver There's always an apology and then some type of affirmation about the other one. - Zach Rodenbarger I know I take a little more time sometimes to each person has their kind of respective way to do that and to cool down. And some people want to solve it. Same day some people take the night, take the weekend and so, you know, kind of learning the team, learning the other person and thinking through that, you know, how to talk through that and when and maybe even is more important if it's right away or give some space. - Liesel Mindrebo Mertes Have you guys ever had misses? Because I hear a little bit. You know, Josh, you said I'm gonna solve it now. Person. And Zach, I need a little bit more time. Did you guys have a learning curve initially and full disclosure. I have had to unlearn in my adult relationships that tendency and belief of like, if I can just say it to you four different times in four different ways, we can figure it out right now. Let's keep trying. And sometimes people are like, no, just shut up. - Liesel Mindrebo Mertes Hard lesson. - Joshua Driver I have had to learn that in general, my husband is similar. Where his cool down? He needs to think for a little bit and take a break. I think maybe in our early days I went back to like, don't walk away. Let's figure this out so we can move on. But then realizing that he needs a little bit more time and understanding to from his perspective, like, if he doesn't want to talk about it, it's not going to help for me trying to pull it out of them either. - Joshua Driver So I've learned to kind of let that go that we're not going to necessarily resolve it today. But I do continue to like to think that I prioritize that moving forward so that we can eventually get through whatever that wall is that hurdle. - Zach Rodenbarger I think my learning is definitely around witnessing people and then witnessing yourself. But it's very rare to convince someone of your perspective in an argument. And if you're both on one side, an argument is not going to convince the other person to jump on your side. And so where is that our email leading or can you take a step back and then provide the reason why you're thinking this way? The reason why that person is thinking that way. It's just interesting to see how arguments heat up and things, and there's no side switching. - Liesel Mindrebo Mertes It's so true. Yeah. It makes me think of even a yet unresolved conversations argument that my husband and I are having and to be like, yeah, nobody ever switches sides in the middle like nobody is in the heat of it or very, very, very, very, very like the 1% does it happen and then usually with a fair degree of resentment. - Joshua Driver So. - Liesel Mindrebo Mertes Yes, that rings true. - Liesel Mindrebo Mertes I'm struck that you are like building culture internally, but it selflessly is also like the product itself is something that is hopefully building culture and connection in the workplace. Tell me a little bit about how selflessly and volunteering and thinking outside of yourself is good for people in for workplaces. - Joshua Driver But I think as we see culture being a normal discussion and given that we're still in a pandemic and becomes such a volatile polarizing environment in the world everywhere. - Joshua Driver I always try to find, like silver linings or ways to maybe take take a moment to step away from the reality. And for me, my coping mechanism is to help others. And the reason why I've been able to spend that time to help others is because I've been very privileged and had the ability to do that where I understand that's not everybody's story coming out at our platform in understanding from not every company is a Lily or a Salesforce that has massive teams that work on these big the initiatives and have the resources. - Joshua Driver There are a lot of companies I mean humans are humans, whether you work at a Fortune 50 company or a small startup. - Joshua Driver And so it's always been confusing to me why startups don't think about their culture from day one. And because we spend so much of our wake time at work, especially on our stage and the positive vibes or feelings you get out of helping others or contributing to the betterment of your community or society or making a difference for somebody else is such an important experience. - Joshua Driver I think everybody should have, but unfortunately, we work all the time or we have kids or other responsibilities that limit that time. So we set out to build selflessly so that companies didn't have to try to scrape the bottom the barrel to be able to provide purpose or the positive opportunities or the community engagement. We wanted to be a partner, so every company can experience the positive effects of being a crime brand or socially responsible organization, and that for a long time has only been afforded to gigantic organizations. - Joshua Driver And so we wanted to be be the platform everyone can use. And so we have to be obviously an innovative with the pandemic and all these things that have changed the logistics on the nonprofit side. And unfortunately, a lot of this responsibility falls on nonprofits who are trying to keep their doors open and working on their mission. And so we took on the responsibility of of taking that work off of nonprofits and working on educating companies on how they can integrate philanthropy into normal business practices like employee engagement or team building or culture or heck, even the competitiveness of the sales Department. - Joshua Driver How do we leverage a philanthropic component while a bunch of type as I go tell each other or something? And I think if there's always even a component of that philanthropic, if there's just even a small piece that goes back or gives back, I think that that's a really great thing to hard wire into a company's culture. - Liesel Mindrebo Mertes Zach, anything you want to add? - Zach Rodenbarger Yeah, I think obviously what Josh said, one of my kind of tag lines, even as we reach out to teams and think about them is kind of selfless. Teams make the best teams. And when you're have employees that are thinking about each other and how to help each other and not always just focused on their task, that's obviously going to make a better team and environment and better teamwork. And so by thinking through, how do we make selfless employees that's really part of selflessly is to help those employees encourage those employees, not Joe's employees to find a volunteer opportunity or find a way to give back to support a cause they care about to have those matching donations from the company and actually use those. - Zach Rodenbarger And so all of these nudges that we want to help create selfless employees that are thinking about others and not just themselves. And so when you think about others that leads to that teamwork, really, everyone creating a better environment. And so putting all that together with what Josh said is exciting, that this is something we get to work on each day. - Liesel Mindrebo Mertes Yeah. Well, my brain can't help but go to some sociological context. You know, I think in generations before, what you are tapping into is this, like human desire to be a part of something bigger, to be giving back, and that there was a while in the US where that was filled by a Church that was asking for a time, and hopefully they were giving towards meaningful things in that way. But that has become less and less central in American communities. There's still this impulse, but not quite the same. - Liesel Mindrebo Mertes You know, there were good and bad things about that prior model, but there's not that same sort of, like regular outlet. And we're also more connected in theory, to the needs of the world. But through the lens of social media, which doesn't often lead to direct action. So, like emotional sensing, selves are out there like feeling all these things. But there's not this bridging, it towards action that feels like it builds up like a physical, real community that we're regularly a part of. And that selflessly kind of helps to bridge some of those, like sociological shifts with a meaningful offering. - Liesel Mindrebo Mertes Yeah. - Joshua Driver I think without sounding like a sound bite, I feel philanthropy in the connection between a donor and a nonprofit or a company in its community or wherever this for profit and nonprofit connection is. For decades, we've given money to our Church, to the United Way, these intermediaries to trust that that's been utilized in the best way or is going towards the mission. And I think with technology improving and transparency, we've seen over time organizations that may not have made the best choices with the money that have come in and the the biggest concern is that this person had maybe a bad experience with this organization. - Joshua Driver Are they going to find another one to support, or are they just going to stop supporting? And that's a big concern. And so now there's this big push for having more control over where people can donate and not necessarily have to be relegated to the confines of somebody's of an organization, agencies or whatever. But what that means is more transparency needs to be done on the nonprofit side. And the nonprofits don't have the resources necessarily to be able to give up regular updates about a campaign or whatever. - Joshua Driver And so we've set up nonprofits to kind of fail from that regard. And then Conversely, I think we nonprofits. They're always fundraising. I've started my own nonprofit. We're always trying to raise more money so we can continue with our mission. And that leaves people out that may not have the liquidity or the resources to be able to participate financially, and we have to jump in. Or at least we take on some of the responsibility of how do we jump in and equate somebody skills and volunteer time to be worth just as much, if not more than them writing a check. - Joshua Driver And so I think it's a generational shift about what philanthropy is starting to look like when we launch selflessly as we continue to grow selflessly. There's always people from the charitable sector that have their own perspective. You need to trust. This organization has been around for a century that they're just going to be doing the right thing. But we tend to grow because people want to break out of what the mold of philanthropy has been and want to have more control and be able to make more direct impact by us connecting those two sides and really always innovating on how to keep those two sides connected. - Joshua Driver That means more resources go to the charitable sector. It just looks a little different. It's not an entry on a bank account. It might look like a donated product or a brainstorming session or some skilled services, but it can be helpful to breaking up some of the foundational infrastructure is a good thing, and I think we're along over you to really start shaking the tree and and changing what is no longer working. And that's a hard thing for people that have been in this space for a long time to necessarily want to accept. - Liesel Mindrebo Mertes Yeah, something that I heard both of you say as a mark of differentiation that you have cultivated and enjoy is a sense of whimsy, and maybe not taking ourselves too seriously. Tell me how that shows up in selflessly. - Joshua Driver Well, my office looks like a kid play room. I just have random stuff all over the place, and then we have a Bulldog in the office. But I think the way that we talk to people, the way that we put ourselves out there, we didn't win the virtual background thing when you made those for your background as your company logo and all the strategic stuff. We didn't do that. I put on a background of me standing at the podium on Jeopardy or just keeping it. I'm sure people for first impression at times like, who the hell is this guy? - Joshua Driver But I think that if we were always trying to display, everything is running great. We don't have any problems. We're constantly growing and just a few months away from being the Jeff Bezos to this is really nobody believes that. First of all, instead of constantly say everything is working. There isn't one company that everything's running smoothly, but I think we personality, my personality. We would probably suppress a lot of who we are individually if we always had to worry about being a highlight reel and being being always on and calculated and putting on this this front. - Joshua Driver And I think having more real conversations, joking around, making mistakes, owning them and moving on or being open about what we've messed up for, mistakes we've made, I think, is so much more valuable in creating a deeper connection with our staff, which our network, our investors and being open and also accepting of the feedback too. Joshua Driver We don't want to be a vendor or a tech provider. We want to be a partner. And I think that us being vulnerable and embracing that were not perfect, I think, is important to set that expectation for whom we're interacting with. - Zach Rodenbarger Absolutely. You want to be able to have fun with your team. You want your team to be able to have fun with customers and on those conversations. And you want people to look forward to having time together, whether it's on a Zoom call or in person, especially for your internal team. But then that customers start to feel that as well and enjoy the conversations with you. And maybe in the software, you start to see certain aspects and certain animations come across the screen or something like that. - Zach Rodenbarger You're starting to see a little bit of other software as well, but we want to be have that enjoyment, especially if we're looking at company culture and encouraging people to get out and have some enjoyment and purpose and things like that. We want to come through in our mission and our software and allow really customers internal external everyone to start to see that, feel that and really enjoy the software and enjoy working with selflessly and working for selflessly. - Liesel Mindrebo Mertes If listeners are intrigued about the platform, the mission, you guys in your story, where can they go to find out more about selflessly and how it can be used to build and increase the sense of connection at work? - Joshua Driver Yeah. - Joshua Driver Our website is Selflessly. I and our social media Tags or give selflessly on the Twitter and Facebook and Instagram and our email address the general email for Zach, it is Hello at Selflessly IO. - Joshua Driver And. - Joshua Driver We get all kinds of requests companies that want to become B Corps or our favorite messages or hey, I want to. We're a small company and we don't think that we can really make an impact. Can you show us how to do it like those are the things we really enjoy spending time with. Also, I think hearing from people that may want to start their own company or want to brainstorm. Sometimes we make time to have a coffee with a potential entrepreneur or give some feedback, help others where we can. - Joshua Driver We'd love to hear from anybody who wants to reach out. MUSICAL TRANSITION Here are three key takeaways to build connection and care in the workplace… Fun matters.From Nerf guns to dilly bar deliveries, introducing a little bit of levity, especially in tense and freighted situations, can be a game changer. Where can you build some fun and some laughter into your office life? There is power in taking a break and thinking the best of the other person.You heard these two threads throughout the interview: in offering a break or a walk to the other person, hoping and trusting that their moment of overwhelm is not their truest or best self. This attention to the emotional temperature of a given situation is so important. And I use it often in both my personal and professional interactions. One way that people can move through their own disruption and overwhelm is by giving back to others.The act of moving beyond the constraints of your own situation, doing something positive for someone else, has all sorts of positive effects on the health of individuals and organizations. If what you have heard today piques your interest, I encourage you to look up the good work that is going on at Sefless.ly. More information about Zach, Josh, and the company can be found in the show notes. OUTRO To find out more about the work of Selfless.ly, visit https://selflessly.io
Details Over the last couple of years, we have all experienced the importance the empathy in the workplace. We've had a rough time and it's important to know your boss actually cares about you. Last year, the character Ted Lasso appeared on Apple TV's new hit comedy show and taught us all some profound lessons … Continued The post Episode 49: Lessons in Empathy and Competitiveness from Ted Lasso appeared first on ZENGER FOLKMAN.
What is it like for someone who has been out of the workforce to raise a family? What happens when that person rejoins the workforce and starts to contribute to the revenue of a business and family? On this episode of Married to Safety, Josh and Kayla discuss the definition of a bread winner, and encourage alternative thoughts to what an actual bread winner is... Enjoy the episode, like, subscribe, and tell your friends about Married to Safety!
Todd and Sandy join the show to talk about being an empath and how it has impacted their life and paranormal investigations. They also talk horror flicks and give Sandy a great new nickname! This week's brew is Half Acre's Lager Town Octoberfest. Listen to The Sandy and Toddcast everywhere you get your podcasts and watch live on Facebook! Follow The Sandy and Toddcast: Facebook: The Sandy and Toddcast Twitter: @TToddcast
This week, Julie DeNofa chats with Grant Hanson, Owner of Fit with Grant, and Partner with Recovery Club America. Grant is a proud father to a six-year-old angel first. Second, he is a long-term recovery person who specializes in Addiction, Fitness, and Mindset Development. One of his greatest joys is affirming others into their highest self. He helps show those who have struggled with addiction how to allow their pain to REfine them rather than DEfine them. Grant's mission is to show these same individuals that sobriety and physique goals are just the beginning. That same level of commitment can permeate every other area of life, leaving no choice but to operate purely out of passion and purpose. "Your current circumstances are not a true or accurate indicator of your full potential." In this episode, Grant shares his recovery story, what it means to step into your God-given purpose, and why his favorite thing is serving others. We also discuss the importance of setting clear goals in Recovery as well as other areas of life. Topics Discussed: Finding self-identity through Recovery Accepting people where they are in their Recovery Journey Sustaining long-term success beyond the first year of Sobriety Getting specific with goal-setting & visualizing where you want to be Processing thoughts and emotions through journaling Connect with Grant Hanson: Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/grant.hanson.12 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/fit.with.grant/ LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/grant-hanson-1b8a70130/ Additional Resources: Transform Your Body! - https://fitwithgrant.com/onboarding1 Recovery Club America - https://recoveryclubamerica.com Connect with Positive Recovery MD Podcast: Website: https://www.positiverecoverymd.com Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/577870242872032 YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC4JcDF1gjlYch4V4iBbCgZg Connect with Positive Recovery Centers Online: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/positiverecoverycenters/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/PositiveRecoveryCenters/ LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/positiverecoverycenters/ Contact Positive Recovery Centers: If you or someone you know needs help, visit the website, or call the number below to schedule an assessment. We are here to help. Call: 877-476-2743 Address: 902 West Alabama Street Houston, Texas 77006 Website: https://positiverecovery.com Services: https://positiverecovery.com/services/ FAQ: https://positiverecovery.com/faq/ --- About Positive Recovery MD Podcast: The Positive Recovery MD podcast is hosted by Dr. Jason Powers, Addiction Medicine Specialist and creator of Positive Recovery. This podcast will not only inspire and motivate its listeners, but it will also provide the tools and foundation needed to thrive and flourish on their addiction recovery journey. Each week the Positive Recovery MD podcast community will come together to have authentic conversations around addiction, RecoveryRecovery, and what matters – growth & progress, not perfection, all while developing positive habits for your life. To join the community, visit https://www.positiverecoverymd.com to sign up to receive the daily Positive Intervention that we'll review and gain access to EXCLUSIVE Positive Recovery content available only to Positive Recovery MD listeners. About Positive Recovery Centers: Positive Recovery Centers is a strengths-based addiction treatment program with locations across Texas. We offer a full continuum of care, from medical detox to sober living, all supported by an ever-growing alumni community network. Our evidence-based curriculum blends the best of the old with the new, supporting our mission: that RecoveryRecovery is best pursued when meaningful, intentional positive habits are formed through empowerment and resilience instead of negativity and shame. What is Positive Recovery? Empathy and compassion drive our mission. Positive Recovery uses strengths as a pathway to help others flourish in RecoveryRecovery, at work, and at home; this is our core purpose, our “why.” We creatively apply science to improve outcomes. Positive RecoveryRecovery is not wishful thinking; it is not a magic pill, nor self-help. Positive RecoveryRecovery is an evidence-based addiction curriculum that links the best of the old with the new, integrating existing practical approaches to treatment with interventions that enhance well-being by cultivating its components: positive emotions, engagement, relationships, meaning, and achievement.
Go to deployempathy.com to buy the audiobook private podcast, physical book, or ebook!This episode of Software Social is brought to you by Reform.As a business owner, you need forms all the time for lead capture, user feedback, SaaS onboarding, job applications, early access signups, and many other types of forms.Here's how Reform is different:- Your brand shines through, not Reform's- It's accessible out-of-the-box... And there are no silly design gimmicks, like frustrating customers by only showing one question at a timeJoin indie businesses like Fathom Analytics and SavvyCal and try out Reform.Software Social listeners get 1 month for free by going to reform.app/social and using the promo code "social" on checkout.AUTOMATED TRANSCRIPTMichele Hansen 0:01 Hey, everyone, Michele here. Colleen is at a conference this week. So doing something a little bit different this week and wanted to give you a preview of the audio book podcast for Deploy Empathy. So as I've kind of mentioned on previous episodes, I am releasing the audio book every week as a podcast as I record it. Part of the idea of this was kind of to sort of sort of do like I did with the newsletter with the book and sort of you know, do it and you know, sort of chapters at a at a time. And so I didn't have to spend you know, two weeks recording which is just, I didn't didn't really have two weeks, you know, of full workdays to sort of lock myself in a closet and record it. So this is allowing me to record it as I have time. Which is kind of a challenge as I say this right now, my desk is literally surrounded and pillows from the last time I recorded which was like two weeks ago. So So yeah, it's been it's been kind of an interesting challenge. But I have been enjoying it. And it's also allowed me to get feedback on it as well. This is my first time recording an audio book. So if anything sounds weird, or whatnot, like people can, you know, give me feedback, and I get a chance to re record as I go. So, so yeah, so it started in I want to say the end of August. And currently, it's on Part Six, which is the how to talk so people will talk section of the book, which is maybe my favorite section of the book. I admit I was a little bit nervous going into recording these chapters because the tone of voice is so important. And I wanted to make sure that I got that right. And I think I got a little bit in my head about that. But I think it I think it came out Okay, so I think I think I'm happy with it. But so yeah, so So this week you're gonna get a chance to preview the the the private podcast, there are still spots in it if you want to join so it's limited to 500 people and right now I think there's about a little under 200 so there's quite a few spots left if you wanted to, to join along, but also you know what, once the full thing is recorded, which I don't really I guess it'll be sort of end of the year early next year. You know, it'll also be available as a regular audio book not quite sure what I'm going to do with the podcast I'm actually kind of curious to hear if people want that to stick around or whatnot. I don't I wonder if it makes it more digestible to get through but maybe that value is on the you know that it's coming out every week, right now. So yeah, hope you enjoy and Colleen and I will be next back next week.Part Six, how to talk So people will talk. This is the most important part of this book. The tactics you'll learn build toward one goal, creating a bubble of suspended judgment, where the person feels comfortable being open. Throughout this part, you'll also find ways to practice these skills before using them in customer conversations. We'll go into each of these in depth one, use a gentle tone of voice to validate them. Three, leave pauses for them to fill for, mirror and summarize their words. Five, don't interrupt, six, use simple wording. Seven asked for clarification, even when you don't need it. Eight. Don't explain anything. Nine. Don't negate them in any way. And let them be the expert. Love it. Use their words and pronunciation 12 asked about time and money already spent. Lastly, you'll learn how to pull it all together by picturing yourself as a rubber duck. Trust me, it'll take you some time and some practice. But I think you'll notice a difference even in your personal life. By using these phrases and tactics. I want you to make me a promise, you'll only use what I'm about to teach you for good, you won't be manipulative, and you won't use what people say against them. deploying the tactics in this chapter can make someone open up to you much more than they otherwise would. Someone's confidence is a sacred gift. And it should be handled gently, respectfully and ethically. That respect should continue after the interview to I expect you to carry through the empathy you build for the customer well beyond the interview, and use empathy as part of your decision making process. Before we get into the tactics and phrases, it's important to understand just how much these tactics can transform a conversation. I got my start doing proper customer interviews in the personal finance industry. In America, people are generally very private about their personal finance decisions and situations. It's an extremely delicate topic. And because of this, I had to learn interviewing in a rigorous way. I didn't realize how much the techniques outlined in this chapter had woven themselves into my everyday conversation habits until I was at the grocery store a few years ago, I was in line with a dozen items and notice that the cashier hugged the woman in front of me, and they interacted with one another in a heartfelt way. I must have just finished an interview because I found myself asking the cashier about it. me with a smile. Oh, I noticed you hugged her. Is that your sister? cashier? No, she's just a longtime customer. I've worked here for a long time. me. Oh, you have? cashier? Yeah, almost 20 years. I'm due to retire soon. Companies changed a lot in that time. me. Oh hasn't. cashier proceeds to tell me about how the store chain was bought out by another chain 10 years ago, how they changed the retirement plan how she's worried about having enough income from Social Security, her 401k her old pension and retirement and how she's making extra 401k contributions. This was all in the span of less than five minutes. As she rang up the dozen or so items I had in my basket. It's important to note that this cashier wasn't just a particularly chatty person. This was my local grocery store. And I had been there a few times per week. For several years at this point. I'd been in this woman's line many many times. And we had never had more than a simple polite conversation about the weather, or how busy the store was that day. I went home and told a former co worker about it and joked Do I have Tell me about your retirement planning written on my forehead. I was amazed that a stranger had told me that kind of information in such a short amount of time. My former co worker pointed out that it was a sign of just how much interview skills had worked themselves into my everyday conversation style. And how I become so much more effective at digging into the heart of an issue without too much effort. For someone who's only negative mark in their first professional performance review was that I was abrasive and was diagnosed with a DD it'll 11 years old, it came as quite a shock to realize I now had an active listening conversation style without even realizing it. That experience taught me how we need to be careful with these skills, and to know when to hit the brakes. It's a person's decision what to reveal. But I always keep that story in mind and remind myself to back off or shift topics. When it seems like someone is on the verge of saying too much. It's possible to make someone too comfortable and safe. It's always okay to say thank you for telling me that I was wondering if we could go back to something you said earlier. I'm curious about something else. It also reminded me of how so many people don't have people in their lives who will just listen to them. Especially about things that are processes or tasks they complete daily or goals that are top of mind. The cashier at the grocery store clearly spent a lot of time thinking and worrying about the different sources of Income she'd have in retirement and whether they would be enough, but maybe didn't have anyone who would listen to her talk about that. I find that once you build trust with someone and show them that you're willing to listen, they will talk. Because no one has ever cared about that part of their daily life before. Maybe they grew up to a co worker about how long something takes, but they've probably never sat down and had someone genuinely ask them what they think about creating server uptime reports or following up on invoices, they've probably never really talked through where they spend a lot of time the tools they use, and so forth. They've probably never had anyone care enough to try to make it better for them. Just being a presence who's willing to listen is more powerful than people realize how customer interviews differ from other kinds of interviews. If you're already familiar with other kinds of interviewing, it might be interesting for you to read with an eye for how this kind of interviewing differs, journalistic interviewing, motivational interviewing and a negotiation based interview all bears similarities to user interviewing, yet they also have significant differences. The first professional interview I ever did was the summer I was interning at the Washington bureau of a British newspaper. the BP oil spill had happened a few months earlier. And my boss asked me to interview someone thinking back that was a very different interview from the customer interviews I started doing years later, in that BP oil spill interview, I was digging for information and I was looking for specific quotes that could be used in an article I already knew about the oil spill, so I wasn't looking to learn their perspective on it. Instead, I needed them to say specific things and say them in a quotable way. Customer interviews by contrast, are all about diving into how the other person perceives an experience and intentionally suspending the desire to validate your own ideas. Later, after the interview has finished, you can analyze the interview and see what opportunities might exist. We'll talk about that more in Part Eight analyzing interviews. Chapter 25 use a gentle tone of voice.In Chris Voss, his book never split the difference. He suggests using a late night DJ voice in negotiations. You're listening to wb mt 88.3 FM therapists will often speak in soft slow voices as a method of CO regulation to calm their patients. These techniques help put the other person at ease and create an environment where they feel safe. These techniques apply when you're talking to customers to a customer interviews should be conducted in the most harmless voice you can possibly muster. Imagine you're asking a treasured older family member about a photo of themselves as a young person. There might be a gentle, friendly tone of voice, a softness to your tone, genuine judgment free curiosity. Or perhaps picture that a close friend has come to you experiencing a personal crisis in the middle of the night. You would listen to them calmly and just try to figure out what was going on. You probably wouldn't start offering ideas or solutions to their problem and would focus on helping them get back to a clear state of mind. use that same gentleness in your customer interviews. It's important to note though, that you cannot be condescending. I purposefully do not say to speak to them like you would a child because people have very different ways of talking to children. Think of your customer as someone you respect and you can learn from because you should and you can. Why did you do it that way set in a medium volume voice with emphasis on certain words could make it sound accusatory and put them on the defensive versus will lead you to do it like that. And a gentle, unassuming, curious voice will help them open up. Try this now. The next time a friend or family member comes to you with a problem. Intentionally use the gentlest voice you can muster when you talk to them. The next time use your normal approach. Notice whether the person reacts differently. Chapter 26 validate them. books on product development often talk about validation, validating ideas, validating prototypes, validating business models.This chapter is about an entirely different kind of validation. It's a pivotal part of getting someone to open up to you. This chapter is about what psychologists and therapists describe as validating statements. These are specific phrases you can use to show someone that you're engaged with what they're saying. It's okay to have trepidation about what you would say in an interview, and how you would come up with follow up questions. Yet most of what you say during an interview aren't questions at all. Instead, you use validating statement It's that shows someone you're open to what they're saying and are listening. Your goal is for them to talk as much as possible. And you as little aim for the interviewee to do 90% of the talking in the interview. In a customer interview, you use validation, even when you don't necessarily agree with what they say. Or even if what they say sounds absurd to you. It does not mean that you agree with them. It is instead a way of recognizing that what they think and do is valid from their perspective. You cannot break that bubble of trust ever, even when something wacky cans, which I can. In a memorable interview years ago, the interviewee suddenly said, Sorry, I'm eating a case of beer right now, about 45 minutes into the phone call. Mind you, this person had given zero previous indications that they were eating. My research partner, the unflappable research expert, Dr. Helen fake, just rolled with it and said, Oh, you're fine. Notice what she said there. She didn't say no worries or not a problem or don't worry about it, all of which either hinge on negating a negative word, worries problem, and thus leave the negative word in the person's mind. Or invalidating instead told him he was fine. Not, that's fine, which is abstract. But explicitly putting the interviewee as the subject. And that saying that he is fine, which validated his state as a person. It was subtle yet next level of conversational jujitsu that will start to come naturally to you, the more you practice this, you also cannot say that you agree with them, or congratulate them, or do anything that implies that you have an opinion. Even if it's a positive opinion, this is probably one of the strangest parts of how to make an interview flow. And for many people, it runs counter to their built in instincts to be positive and encouraging. The person you're interviewing may ask you if you agree, and you need to purposely find a way to make that question go away. I can see where you're coming from on that. Can you tell me rather than Yeah, I agree. agreeing or disagreeing will remind them that you're a human being with opinions and judgments, and the trust will start to melt away, you almost want them to forget that you're a person. For example, when I was interviewing people about their finances, they would admit to doing things that a financial planner or portfolio manager would never endorse, even though we knew that we couldn't correct them. We also couldn't agree with them, either. We were searching for their internal logic and thought processes. And if we were introduced outside information, or agree or disagree with them, they would have shifted into trying to impress us and holding back information, examples of validating statements. That makes sense. I can see why you would do it that way. I'm interested to hear more about how you came to doing it that way. Would you be able to walk me through the context behind that? I can see what you're saying. It sounds like that's frustrating. That sounds like that's time consuming. It sounds like that's challenging. Sounds like you think that could be improved? Can you help me understand What went through your mind? When? Can you tell me more about? It makes sense. You think that? It makes sense? You do it that way? Sounds like there are several steps involved. I'm curious, can you walk me through them? Sounds like a lot goes into that.When using validating phrases, I encourage you to use the word think instead of feel. Some people I've noticed will find it insulting to say that they feel a certain way. But think is interpreted as more neutral and factual. For example, you feel the process is complicated. Versus you think the process is complicated, or better. The process is complicated. And remember, most people like to think their job is challenging. years ago, I heard someone talk about their recent move to LA. their spouse was in the entertainment industry and this person was not. And they kept finding themselves struggling to make conversation at cocktail parties. But eventually they learned a trick. Whenever someone said what they did, they replied with that sounds challenging. Even if the person's job sounded easy or boring. People would open up because it felt like a compliment. And it would lead to an interesting conversation about the things that person did at work. What that person found was that encouraging someone to keep talking requires Turning the conversation back over to them. Rather than offering your own ideas. Try this now. The next time a friend or family member shares a problem with you and does not explicitly ask you for advice, say that makes sense or another one of the validating statements mentioned previously, rather than offering a solution. Sometimes people say I just don't know what to do, which sounds like an invitation to offer a solution but may not be. If that happens, ask them about what they've already tried. Chapter 27 leave pauses for them to fill. Several years ago, I was sitting in the audience at the DC tech meetup. I was there to support a friend who was giving a presentation. And something one of the panelists said stuck with me and it's something I remind myself about during every customer interview. Radio producer melody Kramer was asked what she had learned while working for Terry Gross host of the long running NPR interview show fresh air. She said that Terry Gross his interview strategy is to ask a question and then to wait and wait and wait at least three long beats until it is uncomfortable. Quote, the other person will fill the silence and what they fill it with will often be the most interesting part of the interview. I remember Cramer quoting gross as saying this tactic of saying something and then waiting at least three beats for the other person to fill it is something that I use in every single interview often multiple times. The length of what feels like a long pause varies from person to person. The research of linguist Dr. Deborah Tannen, shows that people from different American regions tend to have different conversation styles. A coordinator her research, people from the northeastern us may talk over one another to show engagement. While California and may wait for a pause to jump in. People from different continents can have different conversation styles to people from East Asia may wait for an even longer pause and could interpret what seems like a suitable pause to the California as an interruption. A three beat pause may seem long disarm and normal to others. I encourage you to experiment with us and add an extra two to three beats on top of whatever is normal for you. In addition to pauses, I also encourage you to notice whether you provide prompts and additional questions. What do you do if the other person doesn't respond right away? Imagine you're trying to figure out what kind of delivery to order for dinner with a friend or spouse. Do you say Where should we order takeout from and let it hang? Perhaps you had possible answers like where should we order takeout from? Should we get pizza? Chinese sushi? One of the ways people make a typical conversation flow is by adding these sorts of little prompting words, when someone doesn't reply immediately. Maybe the prompting is an offering answers like above. And it's just a rephrase without offering an answer like where should we order takeout from? Do you wanna? while adding gesticulation. In an interview, you need to avoid prompting as best as you can, lest you influence the person's answer. When you ask a question, you need to let it hang and let the customer fill the silence. So can you tell me why you even needed a product like your product in the first place? And wait?Don't prompt. If they don't reply right away? Don't say was it for use case one, or maybe use case two? Just wait. I know how hard this is. In fact, there's a point in the example customer interview where I slipped up and prompted cool was there, or is there anything else? Did you have any other questions or?Drew 24:10 No, I think that's everything I have.Michele Hansen 24:14 Now, sometimes it might get truly awkward. The person you're interviewing may not respond. If they say, Are you still there? You can gently bring the conversation back to focus on them and say something that elevates what they've already said like, Yeah, I was just giving you a moment to think. Oh, I was just jotting down what you just said that seemed important. And then rephrase what you'd like them to expand on. Yes, I'm still here. Do you want to come back to that later? Oh, we just sounded like you're about to say something. If anything too long pauses and the interviewers phrases the follow, make the customer feel even more important and reinforce that they are in the dominant role in this conference. It puts them in the role of teacher which marketing psychology expert Dr. Robert Steele, Dini, has identified as a powerful way of influencing another person's behavior. You want them to teach you about their view of the process. And this sort of almost differential treatment through pauses, helps elevate them into that teaching position. To get the answers you need about the customers process, you need to create a safe judgment free environment, you need to hand the stage entirely over to the customer, and talk as little as possible. And leaving silences without prompting is one of the ways you can do that. Try this now. The next time you're having an everyday conversation, not a tense conversation, not appointed conversation. Notice whether you ask a question and wait. Chapter 28 mirror and summarize their words. I have a friend who used that a parrot named Steve. I remember listening amused as he told me about the conversations he had with Steve. This was years before I learned about active listening. And now it makes more sense to me why parrots are great conversationalist, even though their vocabulary is limited. What parents do is repeat words back at people and repeating words back at someone and rephrasing what they've said, as the magical power of encouraging them to elaborate. It's a tactic that therapists and negotiators use all the time. CHAPTER TWO OF never split the difference by Chris Voss is a deep dive on mirroring. And you can also learn about it and nonviolent communication by Marshall Rosenberg. Consider this excerpt from the example interview, I wasn'tDrew 26:44 really seriously considering anything that had a paywall on it was I wasn't sure that it would ever pay itself back off. I knew there were other options out there that would either require moving our storage and our database altogether, which didn't really seem appealing, or having two different services, one to manage each. But then the storage still being just as complicated only somewhere else.Michele Hansen 27:07 It sounds like you had a lot of things you were trying to like wave back and forth about whether you should sort of try to plunge forward with this thing that was already being very frustrating. Or then all of the the negative effects of switching and all the complications that that would introduce.Drew 27:23 I really didn't want to spend a whole lot of time investing, you know, building up a new infrastructure for a new product for new servers to handle this one thing that I think the most frustrating part was that it worked in now it doesn't.Michele Hansen 27:36 You'll notice there aren't any question marks and what I said as a follow up. I rephrased what he said as a statement, which then prompted him to expand on it. This is a combination of two conversation tactics, mirroring and summarizing, mirroring is repeating what someone has said. And summarizing is when you rephrase what they have said, and sometimes label their feelings, you can hear another example of mirroring in the sample interview, he describes himself running into a lot of walls, jumping through a lot of hoops. And that phrasing is mirrored back for elaboration.Drew 28:10 And Firebase Storage just did not work as easily. As it was we found ourselves running into a lot of walls, jumping through a lot of hoops just to make the simplest things work.Michele Hansen 28:22 Can you tell me a little bit more about those hoops and walls that you ran into? negotiation expert Chris Voss notes that it's important to say it rather than I, when summarizing, it sounds like is more neutral, then I'm hearing that since in the second one, you're centering yourself as the subject, but the first phrase centers the situation. For example, if your spouse or roommate comes home seeming frazzled, man, what a day, I had, like 10 calls today. You mirroring. You had 10 calls today. The other person? Yeah, and then my last one didn't even show up and I'd had to cut the previous call short to make it. If I'd known they weren't going to show up. I could have gotten this thing sorted out and then I wouldn't have to work tonight. You summarizing and labeling. Sounds like you had a lot of calls today. And because someone didn't show up, you're feeling frustrated that you have to finish your work tonight. Notice that none of these follow ups or questions? Oh, are you talking to new clients? The clarifications are simple restatements of what the person has said without added editorial zation of the events. Try this now. When a friend or family member says something to you about their day, try stating back at them what they've said. Then try summarizing what they've said as a statement. Sometimes a gentle upward tone implies interest more depending on the person
After having made big decisions in her life recently, Jen noodles on a subject that Pete then creates a helpful acronym for: fear of the unknown.Specifically, in this episode Jen and Pete talk about:How might someone approach making a big decision? What questions could they ask themselves or others?Why might it be scary to take risks? And how might you take risks, despite that fear?What can happen when you ask questions and hold space for someone?To hear all Episodes and read full transcripts visit The Long and The Short Of It website: https://thelongandtheshortpodcast.com/.You can subscribe to our Box o' Goodies here (https://thelongandtheshortpodcast.com/) and receive a weekly email full of book and podcast recommendations, quotes, videos and other interesting things Jen and Pete are noodling on. To get in touch, send an email to: firstname.lastname@example.orgLearn more about Pete's work here (https://humanperiscope.com/) and Jen's work here (https://jenwaldman.com/).
Today's guest comes from New Zealand where he is an entrepreneur whose passionate about people and changing lives. He currently works as a quality assurance engineer at PreCast HQ. Pravek Rhaj was passionate about civil engineering at the age of 12 and that led him to seek new opportunities outside of India to New Zealand where there is a shortage of construction labors. One of Pravek's greatest skills is having Empathy, but it also comes very naturally to him. Being able to understand what people are going through and being a support for them when they need it. Pravek is never afraid of learning a new skill or technology and always looks forward to sharing his skills and helping others wherever he can. The growth happens in the areas we don't know. It's entirely new since we haven't even heard of these things. We don't know what we don't know. The growth occurs in those areas when we are intentional about it. We touched upon mentorship programs, networking and different methods that are required to be successful when starting out from an entry level position. Pravek listens to a lot of audiobooks and some of his favorites are from great leaders like John Maxwell & Kobe Bryant. Fun Fact: Pravek was able to sky-dive and bungee jump last year. These were two items that were knocked off his bucket list. Quote of the day: "Most people overestimate what they can do in 1 yr and underestimate what they can do in 10yrs." -Bill Gates To collaborate with Pravek Rhaj head to LinkedIn and Instagram: https://www.linkedin.com/in/pravekrhaj https://www.instagram.com/pravek_rhaj217 #peoplebeforeprofits #inspiration #humanity #leadership #networking #civilengineering #newzealand #bigkatlounge --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/bigkatlounge/message
It feels like every aspect of our lives is dominated by tech. It also makes our lives easier in so many ways. But when we lose a loved one, it seems that tech and innovation are absent. Suddenly at a time when you don't want to speak to anyone, you can be thrust into endless calls to arrange a funeral, flowers, closing accounts, removing names from mailing lists, and so much more, Empathy is removing the taboo on death while providing information to help families navigate the logistics of losing a loved one. These are just some things technology excels at, like navigating logistics. Empathy's app combines technology and human support to streamlines end-of-life bureaucracy, minimizes tedious tasks, and automates processes involved in the administration of an estate while also providing emotional guidance. It's a sensitive topic, and today I learn more from Ron Gura about how the collaboration of humans and technology can help when we are trying to go through the grieving process.
Blu sits with poet, Allie Michelle, to discuss the process of finding your inner poet. In a world that can silence you, Allie shares how she learned to speak her truth, and turn it into art. Blu and Allie also tell their experiences of navigating social settings as empaths, and how to turn it around with pattern interrupt questions. This conversation is blooming with inspiration for anyone looking to step more into their own creativity.
Based on our work with leaders in sports, business, and life, we have found that there are certain characteristics that the best leaders demonstrate in order to be effective and impactful. On today's podcast episode of Monday Morning Moments, I share one of the top characteristics that the best coaches and business leaders show and that their people expect and appreciate. New Episodes of the Monday Morning Moments Podcast are released every Monday on your favorite podcast platforms as well as on YouTube. We also release The Coach's Corner segment on Thursdays. You can subscribe below and never miss a new episode. JOIN NOW!
How do you show empathy in a way that is effective? Are you getting positive results in your sales conversations? There is no right or wrong, good or bad when it comes to demonstrating empathy; it’s all about effectiveness. This is where you ask questions, go through your fact-finding process, analyze, and try to get […]
On Episode 196 of You, Me, Empathy, Erica Zisman and I explore how self-awareness is both beautiful and difficult, when your feelings are mislabeled, why it's never too early to have conversations with kids about mental health, and how anxiety shows up in children. Read the full show notes at FeelyHuman.co. Empathy Links: Erica on InstagramTherapy with EricaJoin me October 12 for Empathy for Highly Sensitive People workshop!You, Me, Empathy on InstagramFeely Human on InstagramWant to write for Feely Human?Buy pins, t-shirts, stickers, and more!Sign up for the Feely Human newsletterGet bonus episodes of the podcast every month on PatreonMusic for You, Me, Empathy by David Grabowski
In episode 623, I am bringing back a great chat about education, culture and children. Listen as I chat with Mijha Godfrey who is a mom and a lawyer found a large need for parents needing books for kids of color to showcase stories that showcased them and their greatness. Listen as she chats about: Why empathy is important How media and books effect us and why representation is important Why you don't have to overcome and you can just be Why only a small group of fiction books that star a child of color are available and how she's finding them and sending them to kids with her company Jambo Books and how she's encouraging more people of color to author books as well Why she suggests there needs to be more opportunities for authors of color and would love to see more publishing companies help foster them Is it a parents job to teach empathy How to showcase how we look different but that it's also beautiful Try our voice skill on Amazon Alexa here or Google Assistant here or by saying "Open Extraordinary Mindset." Like our page and check out our LIVE video interviews here.
My conversation with Leighann Joseph who is the founder of Live Loud Coaching is on a mission to help others become more intune with their Emotional Intelligence so they can work and live a joyful life more often than not. Listen in as she shares her 3 Milestone pillars to living a loud and joyful life. Leighann is a compassionate coach who knows that if we tap into our emotional intelligence it will serve us in all areas of life. Connect with her at: https://www.livingloudcoaching.com/
Click to subscribe & get full show notes *** OVERVIEW We're joined today by Ben Dundee, VP and Head of Data Science at Dekeo. Ben delivers sharp advice on how to become influential with data — changing hearts and minds across an organization. Empathy and community are key elements of his personality and success. Lots of lessons in this one! Tired of being "stuck" in your tech career? Try the Wednesday Wisdom newsletter. *** TAKEAWAYS Don't let your past define your future; learn to say "thank you, next." Product Management is a great space to learn what the business cares about (you gain diverse perspectives). A data leader's role is often to ensure all people (technical and non-technical) believe in the value of the data effort. Don't waste time on data perfection (objective truth) — a simple model that's 80% correct is often the key to success. "Dance with fear" — embrace discomfort; this is how you build a great career and life. *** TIMESTAMPS [2:15] The self-branding journey: Physics PhD to Data Science VP [11:35] Using business knowledge and relationships as leverage to create impact [16:27] The mysticism of data science [20:35] Skills for the mid-career tech professional [26:53] The worst advice to follow [31:34] Ben's advice to his younger self *** RESOURCES Related episode (#19): You Don't Need an MBA Connect w/ Ben on LinkedIn Connect w/ Matt on LinkedIn Follow on Twitter @MatthewRDoan Check the show on YouTube Subscribe to the Wednesday Wisdom newsletter
Keep up with Daniel on APUSH Explained. Learn from Daniel's YouTube Channel. Support him and his students here.Dig our explorations of working lives? Please check out my Patreon and show your support.Hit that follow button and please share Studs with your people.Get in touch on Insta, Twitter, Facebook, or at StudsPod [at] gmail [dot] com. Our theme song is Nile's Blues by Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com). Licensed under Creative Commons by Attribution 4.0 License. Special thanks to Liv Hunt for logo design and Rotem Fisher for audio mastering. Be kind and stay healthy. Thanks for listening to Studs. Love y'all.★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★
Joanna Quinn is an educator and advocate and an author of 'Greta Grace". Joanna is a former middle school teacher and the founder of Super Empowered One, an organization dedicated to building confidence in kids. October is national Bullying Prevention Month, although bullying is an action that needs attention at all times. It does give us the opportunity to discuss this activity especially in the early months of school, and learn for our own information and to help our kids. Keeping lines of communication is critical. www.joannaquinn.com www.superempoweredone.com
Non Wels (You, Me, Empathy; Feely Human) and I navigate BIG feelings, jealousy, psilocybin journeys, DIY healing and art, limiting beliefs, self-harm and the belief that "I deserve to be in pain." We also discuss: perfectionism; BPD; the power of podcasts; shutting down in order to survive in our families growing up; reconnecting with our younger parts; being and Eyore; EMDR; mind-stories; unlearning; fear of joy; identifying emotions in the body; small talk; and SO much more. Learn more about Non. Recorded Sept 9, 2020 & Oct 8, 2021. Buy MERCH: www.kyeplant.bandcamp.com SUPPORT via PATREON: www.patreon.com/feelinweird DONATE via Paypal Instagram: @feelinweirdpod Web: www.feelinweird.com Email: email@example.com
Happy Satiated Saturday! I have seen over the years when healing your relationship with food, there is a point many realize when it's not really about the food anymore. The focus on what, when, and how you're eating came in as protection. This protection was keeping you safe from addressing other areas, beliefs, perspectives that may have felt too emotionally intense to look at where focusing on your food actually felt safer in your body to ruminate on. Healing your relationship with food can be experienced as in service to creating more emotional space to process, digest, assimilate, what your body has been emotionally holding on to. When you have been dieting, restricting, and focusing on food for years and years there can be many emotional reactions that arise in the process of shifting your focus away from food to attend to other areas of your life that need healing.In this week's episode, I will discuss the stages of healing your relationship with food and what you can expect on a food healing journey. You can also read the transcript to this week's episode here: https://www.stephaniemara.com/blog/the-emotional-stages-of-healing-your-relationship-with-foodYou get to trust you're always exactly where you're meant to be. Your healing path will unfold the way it needs to and this is an adventure that can be enjoyed every step of the way. If you're ever looking for more support on this food healing journey, email me at firstname.lastname@example.org to get set up with a free 20 minute Connect Call! With Compassion and Empathy, Stephanie Mara FoxThis episode is brought to you by Kajabi. If you're someone who has been wanting to share your wisdom in a self created online program, start your own podcast, send out emails, Kajabi is your one-stop shop. Kajabi is an all-in-one platform to create and scale your knowledge. Get a special 30 day trial here! https://app.kajabi.com/r/7zLtW92X/t/yxukwczfSpecial thanks to Bendsound for the intro music in this episode. www.bensound.comSupport the show (https://account.venmo.com/u/stephaniemara)
#jimjimsreinventionrevolution #mariealessi #grief Marie Alessi is an influencer / speaker / coach who's growing movement around grief is helping others love life after loss. Listen to JJRR 87 as Marie shares how her life changed instantly when she got the call her husband Rob had suddenly passed (age 45). In her "prime" of life and with 2 kids, Marie was able to turn her grief journey into a healing journey in contrast to common societal norms. Now author / founder of Loving Life After Loss, her book and movement are helping others heal. Marie Alessi - Loving Life after Loss - Marie Alessi https://www.jimjimsreinventionrevolution.com/resources 08:08s Having your husband die from an aneurism away on a business trip 10:16s Needing peace and quite and having a nervous breakdown 13:01s What does grief mean to you? Empowerment! 14:56s People need empathy not sympathy 16:45s Closing the doors on her coaching business, without clarity for what's next 19:04s Traveling around the world for 2 months with her boys 19:48s Loving Life After Loss book spawns a movement 22:50s Loving Life After Loss grief consulting, the business 26:05s Building a movement on her own experience 32:40s The 5 stages of grief and who they're for 36:48s Grief as a natural process, body response vs mind, healing vs. grieving 44:01s Building a global movement with tech in different markets 47:35s Separating what you've lost from whom you've lost 50:55s Putting yourself in a state of creation to battle despair “Sympathy keeps people stuck. Empathy helps them to heal.” Enjoy the episode? Share with friends! Subscribe in Apple or Google Podcasts! https://www.jimjimsreinventionrevolution.com/resources
WHAT YOU WILL LEARN TODAYLINKS AND RESOURCES MENTIONEDEPISODE SPONSORThis episode is brought to you by Omnisend, makers of sophisticated omnichannel marketing automation tools for sales-driven Shopify brands that have outgrown generic email marketing platforms. Engage your customers and boost your sales with dynamic emails, text messages, web push notifications, Facebook Messenger, and retargeting ads on Facebook and Google. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
We've all been going through a hard season for the last 2 years with all the things that we've been dealing with. It's no wonder that all this uncertainty and the overwhelming sadness and loneliness have caused cases of depression and anxiety to accelerate at alarming levels. I'm so honored to have Sheila Walsh on the show today for a very special conversation about mental health. Sheila is an author, amazing Bible teacher, and television host, and, fun fact: she's was born and raised in Scotland! In this episode, she shares her journey with clinical depression and we also discuss her new book, Holding on When You Want to Let Go, and what she has learned as she managed her depression while navigating the pandemic and Covid-19. Things that we discussed : We need to share how we are feeling and experiencing and not feel shame from it. Empathy is born out of suffering and it makes the world so much less scary. Sheila shares how to help others and sharing their burdens in a healthy way. Setting boundaries is essential to our mental health. “No” is a complete sentence and you get to say no without a hundred reasons why. Want to connect with Sheila: Website: sheilawalsh.com Instagram: @sheilawalsh1 Order her Book - Holding On When You Want to Let Go Resources NAMI PsychologyToday.com
Navigating complex and tense conversations can easily result in emotional grenades being tossed across the room and little to nothing being resolved. Today we speak to Bill Eddy, well known for his work in the high conflict area about How to Effectively Communicate When Tensions Run High. Bill talks to us about his latest book, “Calming Upset People with EAR” an acronym for Empathy, Attention and Respect. Bill's EAR tool is designed to help in HC conversations and with HC personalities. While at first the thought of showing Empathy, Attention and Respect to someone who has caused you pain seems counterintuitive and perhaps counter productive, as you listen to Bill explain the power and impact of this simple approach to tense conversations, you will be tempted to give it a try! Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq. is High Conflict Institute's co-founder and Chief Innovation Officer. He pioneered the High Conflict Personality Theory (HCP) and has become an expert on managing disputes involving people with high conflict personalities. He was the Senior Family Mediator at the National Conflict Resolution Center for 15 years, a Certified Family Law Specialist lawyer representing clients in family court for 15 years, and a Licensed Clinical Social Worker therapist with twelve years' experience. He serves on the faculty of the Straus Institute for Dispute Resolution at the Pepperdine University School of Law in California and is a Conjoint Associate Professor with the University of Newcastle Law School in Australia. He has been a keynote speaker and trainer in over 30 U.S. states and 10 countries. In addition to authoring over twenty books, he writes a popular blog on PsychologyToday.com with over five million views. Request a Free Jump Start Call at https://www.jbddivorcesupport.com/jumpstart For more information on Journey Beyond Divorce visit: www.jbddivorcesupport.com
How can insurance carriers build an empathetic relationship with policyholders? How do we drive innovation in a stressful time within our companies and practices? Industry veteran Maria Ferrante-Schepis joins us today to share her view of the present and her hope for the future of the business. We hope you enjoy the show. Links mentioned in the show: Maria's LinkedIn profile: https://www.linkedin.com/in/maria-ferrante-schepis-03b4031b/ Flirting With The Uninterested: Innovating In A "Sold, Not Bought" Category: https://www.amazon.com/Flirting-Uninterested-Innovating-Bought-Category/dp/1599323699/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&qid=1632963818&refinements=p_27%3AMaria+Ferrante-Schepis&s=books&sr=1-1 Maddock Douglas: https://www.maddockdouglas.com/our-team/maria-ferrante-schepis
Arlina Allen 0:13 Dr. Rob Kelly, thank you so much for joining me today. Thank you, Andy for asking. Awesome. Looking forward to this. Hey, before we get started, I saw a picture of you with an English bulldog. Was that yours? Unknown Speaker 0:25 Yes, I have three English Bulldogs we strive for, but we had to rehome one because of fights. Oh, but I have Mackenzie, Who's the girl and two boys. Arlina Allen 0:34 And so sweet. So I've had four total but right now I have just one. Yeah, an English bulldog. His name is Teddy. He's the podcast mascot. You will occasionally hear him snoring in the background. Unknown Speaker 0:47 Always. I've got three in the office today cuz doing other things downstairs. But yeah, I hope they don't balk or anything. Otherwise, we're in trouble. It's Arlina Allen 0:56 fine. It's fine. This is not CNN. Be good. But my audience is all about sobriety and finding solutions. And you are the solution guy. I saw you on the doctors and did my research and saw on your on your website that you talk about permanent recovery. And that's what everybody wants. Everybody wants these people who've just been through the wringer of people who want to stop and cannot. Those are our people. Right and so I can't wait to hear what you have to say about all that. But like I said, before we jump in we do this something called the lightning round. So I'm just gonna pepper you with it's never usually very fast. But I'm I'm so curious. What were some of your favorite books when you got sober? Unknown Speaker 1:51 When I got sober? Well, obviously the big book I read often, but I kind of well I wrote about myself. So that's obviously the best ever. But just real life, I love biographies. I love to see how other people live. And now other people have overcome not not a big believer in you know, these get get well or get fit box that are out there. I just think that it's all about the mind. on trade with the mind. Yeah, I Arlina Allen 2:21 couldn't agree more. Yeah, I'll be talking to Dr. Anne Lemke. She wrote that book that just was released dopamine nation, so I'm super excited about that. And also, never enough. Another neuroscientist. Oh, yeah. Yeah. So I'm all about it. Awesome. What about do you have like a favorite go to mantra, he kind of said it this morning. When I asked I Unknown Speaker 2:44 did I did. I always use that it's dreaming. I'm living the dream instead of dreaming a living is and it came to me. When I was homeless, passing a nice house with the children mum and dad. Having Christmas lunch. I used to dream of that. I used to dream of living that little dream. And I went I did. It just came to me one day, and it's been my mantra ever since. Arlina Allen 3:08 Yeah, we do have a tendency to spend a lot of time in fantasy land. One more. Yeah. And that throws Unknown Speaker 3:14 even afterwards, if I'm honest. Um, do you have a regular self care routine that you practice for yourself? I do every single day when I get up. First thing I want to do is I want to train my subconscious brain. So I go to the mirror. I love myself in the eyes. And I say I love you 10 times. I don't say any other affirmation just I love you. Because I used to have a big problem with that. So I'm kind of stored in the subconscious brain. So when it comes to like decision making, that's going to pop over to the prefrontal cortex, and I'm gonna go you know, something, I love myself today. I deserve this. So yeah, that's what I do. And then I write out five things, I'm going to accomplish that day. And, and the idea behind that is if I if I, if I complete all five, I've taken a step forward in life. If I only complete three or four, I've taken a step back in life. Arlina Allen 4:07 Oh, interesting account. You know, what I heard recently is accountability. Empathy without accountability reinforces the victim mentality. Yes. I like that. I like the I like that accountability piece that you have for yourself. I have a feeling you're kind of a hard ass and I can't wait to talk to you about that. But I have one more question. I like I like to work question. What's the one thing you wish you knew when you first got sober? It's gonna be okay. That's gonna be my life's gonna be amazing. You're like this amazing? He says, um, and what do you do for fun? Unknown Speaker 4:44 I have a music where am I used to be a musician when I was young. So I was a onstage musician and then I was a played at Abbey Road for about three or four years. I played with elton john Queen David Bowie. So I have a music room at home or with a full fall everything Got everything and you can imagine so I go in there about once every couple of days and I may play drums or guitar I might play keyboard I might write songs I might do a live YouTube. So that's what I do and of course walking my three English Bulldogs is also great Arlina Allen 5:16 use I noticed that you have some big guns Do you consider exercise fun? Unknown Speaker 5:21 Yes of course. Yeah, I I have what's called a mirror in the house. We also have a bike. A well known bike power. Arlina Allen 5:28 The mirror the exercise mirror thing? Yeah. Oh, you like that? I'm, I'm I know. Phenomenal. You can do everything on that. Yeah. And you can make yourself look beautiful. Yes. If you really squint for me, I'm like, Oh, yeah. Can I just I don't want to gloss over the fact that you mentioned that you play with elton john and Queen. fucking amazing. Unknown Speaker 5:49 Right on, right. That is Arlina Allen 5:52 amazing. He just kind of like threw that out there very casually. That's pretty incredible. Unknown Speaker 5:57 Yeah, why? It's what paid for courage college, I was a session musician. I grew up on a unmade projects. So I wasn't ever going anywhere, really. But I was wanting to better so I auditioned after playing another recording studio sessions and then added seven auditions and got the job. And I was only 16 at the time against perfect. I know. But I had this confident. Well, I said my mom used to tell me I used to walk around with a guitar around my neck and wouldn't even check it out of both. I was just because I'm musical family. I was on stage at nine. Family. So yeah, so awesome. Everyone asked the same thing. Who's the worst person you've played with? Regarding hanging around? Who's the best, worst person to elton john. Once he gets into that mood, his heart was Arlina Allen 6:40 out before he got sober after? Unknown Speaker 6:43 Yes, I think before it would be 79 around the area. And the best would be Freddie Mercury. We spent hours and hours late into the night chatting about philosophy and how it can change the world. So yeah, I got this Arlina Allen 6:58 sense from Freddie Mercury that he'd be really funny. Unknown Speaker 7:01 Oh, yeah, he is. He's always kind of switched on. You never find him in a bad mood. He's always smiling. He used to call me Robbie, darling. Unknown Speaker 7:10 What else would he call you? Right? Unknown Speaker 7:14 Awesome, guys. Arlina Allen 7:15 It's amazing that he is truly truly unique. That's very cool. Okay, well, that's it for my silly lightning round questions. I always like to provide like Book Resources and things like that and sort of set the stage for mindset. But really, what I, what you and I think both care about is helping other people and to help other people I do I actually practice hypnotherapy. So when you talk about subconscious mind, neuroscience and all that stuff, what we're talking about is root cause, right? Because we're You and I are dealing with people that have chronic, persistent, pervasive conditioning from childhood. I read somewhere in your stuff that root causes are abandonment, fear and shame. Can you tell me a little bit about why those things lead us to want to medicate with drugs and alcohol? And really, mostly, what is your process to help treat that pervasive consist consistent conditioning? Unknown Speaker 8:16 Well, we have to look, there's a couple of things you need to look out before again, that conversation and that is the alcoholic brain, which is a predisposition. We're born this way. So rather drink, not like drug taking. alcoholism is different. So we look at that brain, for instance, is what I study. And many people often ask me, what's the gateway drug? Rob? It's obviously marijuana. And my answer is always the same. It's trauma. That's the gateway drug. So I'm born this way. I have a remapped neural pathways at birth because you have the alcoholic brain, which wants to self sabotage any opportunity it can. So remapped and then trauma. Now when I'd say trauma, people think, Oh, well, I've never been in a car crash or, you know, it's no witness to murder or right. But drama could be in the house. So for instance, by my mom watching, hypothetically, one day and me and my brothers stood on the table, my brother's a normie. And my mom says to my brother, because this is what she said, and this is what she he hears, Paul, down on that table. You stupid idiot. Get down, and he jumps off and he laughs What I hear same sentence said to me in the same voice, get out of that chair, you stupid idiot. So my brain and subconscious brain and central nervous system is jacked up for a start. And all that wording, everything we hear, and we see is always stored in the subconscious brain every thing we do, and that's why the latest science that I do regarding the brain is helpful into the subconscious brain. So I'm automatically abandoned because of the way I hear and see things. So my dad used to work a lot of hours were a working class family. So I have hardly seen my dad there. abandonment issues straight away, which we don't think or abandonment issues. My dad's doing the best he can, you know? Oh, don't be silly, Robert, you can't go to college like your brother. Oh my goodness that does more harm than you could ever imagine. But my subconscious brain loves that stuff. Arlina Allen 10:17 Why did she say Why did she say you can't Don't be silly, you can't go to college, it was Unknown Speaker 10:22 just something my mom said, you know, it's not like my brother, when it's like, we can't go to college, we just don't do that. See, I was supposed to grow up, just like my parents. By the time I was 18, married by the time I was 19, have a baby or to have a normal nine to five working manual job and go to the pub every night and the way home. That was it from generations to generations. Because you can see that pattern of alcoholism and mindset going back through my family, that that's what they settled for. Now, I was different, I didn't want to settle for that. So going back to the abandonment, the alcoholic brain and central nervous system. And the whole aura is always felt as if we don't fit in. So I never fit in anywhere. So there's the abandonment, again, the shame of where I grew up. I grew up on the project counselor stage, all my friends I went to school with even though it was just a normal school, they lived on a private estates, which parents had a mortgage, we pay rent, I was so embarrassed about I was so shameful. And of course, when my drinking took over at the age of nine, I started but it took over about 2526 there was the shame of that. So what we do is we have to go back or we call is a scene of the crime. And we have to start clearing that stuff up. And the worst thing somebody can say to me is Oh, yeah, I've kind of worked on that myself. If you worked on that yourself, you won't be relaxing, first of all, and you won't be going through girlfriend's chain every week, you know, you're having, we have to really go back and look exactly what you do and repair that damage done in the past and usually by Kagan's Arlina Allen 11:57 so when you say go back to the past and repair the damage, that is the crux of the treatment, right? Unknown Speaker 12:04 Yes. Yes. Because you have to go back and look, you know, I mean, many people come in, they go, Okay, well, I drink him out. I don't do this. They do that. Well, anything, any trauma. Now. Everything's good. And when we go back and really pinpoint, they forget to tell me about the molestation from the father or the uncle or the priest. They forgot to tell me a bit homosexual actually did when he was nine or 10. They forgot to tell me about how the mum used to smack them across the face because their house wasn't tidy when they come home. So they kind of think well, mum and dad did the best now. I'm not having that. hating on people say that. Well, they did the best they could now, you know, I used to walk to school with holes in my socks, and cardboard in my shoes. Because I hold in my shoes. Walking on the snow to Mars. I had to watch work every day because my mom couldn't afford my socks and shoes. Now my mom could afford and my dad to go to the bar every Friday and Saturday night. So I had one person sat down once and he said this. He said wrong. You really upset about them shoes. And I said yeah, but my mom dad couldn't afford it. And he said this to me that changed my life. He says when your mom went to the bars every Friday, Saturday and Sunday night, did she have holes in her socks? And I was like, when he hit me I had more trauma and I could ever imagine growing up, you know, they will drop me with a friend. But when I got to the friend, the man and the woman they would say okay, we ever we have a naked night tonight. So everyone gets naked. I didn't tell my mom that because I thought it was natural. Arlina Allen 13:36 Yeah, yeah. That everybody in the house got naked. Unknown Speaker 13:40 Yeah, but you know, all the kids and the mom and dad. And that's just a Wait, why. So I went along. I never even mentioned it because I thought it was the norm. You see my I have a big thing. And it's this, anything less than nurturing as a child, his child abuse, especially what find out more about the brain and the central nervous system. I can never get a girlfriend, Why do I always leave? Why is it Why did I marry my dad? Well, it's like, you have to understand why we do these things. There's a pattern to our behavior. And if and if you're happy doing that pattern and living the way you're living great, but if you want to change your life, then you need to go back and clear this stuff up and change neural pathways from self sabotage to self care. Because at the moment, or when I was born up until about 28 when I got sober. I had more self sabotage. And then I did self care. So I start really good. Oh, I would look so good. I mean, when I was when I went to work, I do anything girlfriend, but after a month or two, it's self sabotage. If you feel like this. Oh my god, it's it's nine o'clock. Rob. You're not supposed to start till 10 and then six rather you're going home. I'll stay till seven A month later, Where the hell is Rob It's one o'clock. That's all my life has been like that. Because I self sabotage over any considerable period with a mindset like that. Arlina Allen 14:59 Right? It's an internal In a mindset of I don't really truly deserve this Unknown Speaker 15:04 100 and million percent and the other one is self dialog I can I can sell stuff so you don't have to say anything to me. I dropped a pat on the floor and I go What a stupid idiot when I'm picking it up loves that stuff so when I go for that car that job that girl that house whatever the subconscious brain goes, You stupid idiot. What are you doing here? You can't do this Did you think you are and I still get that today when I go on when I do speaking of setting the wing some town I'm thinking oh my god, they don't want what I've got nothing to offer. Oh my god, oh my god, and a panic. And then God taking a walk over and I'm a big spiritual guy now used to hate that word garden. Oh, we're all happy going to church. I used to hate that. Arlina Allen 15:47 Did you go to church growing up? Unknown Speaker 15:48 I did. I was a quiet I was a quiet boy I was I was a chorister, as they call it in the Protestant church had a great voice and my but my headmaster sexually abused me. One of the guys that you know, and I blame my mom. My mom knew about this. Arlina Allen 16:06 That he was like that and sent you anyway. Unknown Speaker 16:09 It was nothing directly talked about. But I remember being picked up. There's a there's a group out there of saying there's a cola, Vienna Boys Choir, and we should delete it. Well, my headmaster said well, who was also the the teacher of the music and the church, said to my mom, we have Robert an audition for the Vienna Boys Choir in Chester, which is 70 miles away for LA. He took me there and the rest was blurred. We never went to any audition. I come home feeling sick. Mom said I was silent for about three months. Yeah, I was concerned if and I was shocked. I don't remember the incident. But put two and two together. You know, I don't know of any audition. So it's a ruse. And then there was the neighbor across the road. That was about 1415. And he was he was married. But he was he was gay. And we go to the sauna together because I was into fitness and bodybuilding at the time. And he would try to MLS me and do things. And it was awkward. And no one made it into fun, but many years later, and I said oh you everyone needs to go to sauna. I said, Oh yeah, with the gay guy. And I looked at them. And I said, How'd you know? Now everyone knows about him? And I didn't say Arlina but I wanted to say why the fuck? Did you just let me go through five years of my life with this guy knowing quite well, what he's capable of doing. And he really kind of set me and not against my parents. But I'm thinking you know, the best he could is not good enough for me. Arlina Allen 17:38 I don't know I heard that at a meeting one time this guy because you do hear that a lot and I think it's a way it's a sort of like spiritual bypassing like you have to go through the pain first and do the processing metabolize the pain Ababa. And sometimes that bought they did the best they could offers a little bit of peace. But if you don't do the work first, it's just spiritual bypassing and you're just putting a bandaid over a pile of shit. Right? Exactly. This guy stood up at a meeting one day and he like, pounded the podium. He goes it wasn't good enough. Yes, it wasn't. And I was like, Thank you finally somebody said Unknown Speaker 18:18 you say the truth exists. And that's and that's what's missing. One of the things that I came to America because I wasn't known or famous or anything back then is I wanted to to have a platform where I could speak my mind. I don't report to anybody you know if I say the things that other people are thinking or wish they could say because it isn't good enough. You drop the fucking bar mom and dad own it you know get get oh well that's just the way that my dad never spoke to me. You know, he couldn't give him a gift he was one of them gave very embarrassed what it was just the way he was brought bullshit. Change it I changed it you know I lost my kids and all that but now I've got in touch with one of our I've changed it you know? Just to what No, it's not I'm not having that. You know, Arlina Allen 19:00 what's important about owning it in your mind like when when you're when you tell somebody you know hey, it wasn't good enough and we want them to own it. Is it the validation is it a standing up for ourselves? What is it about owning it that is so important Unknown Speaker 19:18 well first of all when I when I do that it's it's telling the truth it's out in the truth is that there are some there are some guys going up now around the world that don't even think the Holocaust happened. It's that crazy. Don't want people to get into that. It's like less reminders who dropped the ball and who didn't you know, and I like I like given information that you know people go oh shouldn't be talking about that. You know, first of all the alcoholism. Yes, we should. And I'm blatant when farmers comment on little Johnny's you know his his drinking every day like what he's gonna die. Whoa, you can't say that. Yours. Why? Why can I not speak the truth? Truth tell him for me is powerful. Yes, really is power. And I like to I like to. First of all, I have this order that attracts people when I speak. And that was a gift. I used to be on it, huh? Yeah, yeah. Now I say louder, say stronger, say proud. And people listen. And I love the fact that let's not keep it hidden away. Bring it out because alcoholics used to be until two, three years ago, where the gay community was 30 years ago, is that we don't talk about that. We don't really we know it goes on. But hey, you know, I always think I know right? But Arlina Allen 20:33 okay, here's, here's this Sorry to interrupt you. But here's the thing. It's okay for you to get drunk and show your ass in public. Yeah, but God forbid you tell people I don't drink anymore. I just don't like black now. I don't like waking up. And the worst thing in Unknown Speaker 20:47 the world is like, I heard this guy tell the joke when she was like, I went to the bar. And the guy said to me, do you want to drink and he says no one alcoholic? And he said what? He said, I'm sorry. I'm a I'm a serial killer. Thank God for that. scenario, when I'm out there just doing it. You know, it's Arlina Allen 21:06 so crazy to me that people are so like, and people still like that are in recovery. And listen, I don't I don't come out with like, I'm an alcoholic. I'm just like, yeah, don't do that. It just depends on the audience. It really depends on you have to you have to know your audience. Like at work I used to when I was in corporate, I would just be like, yeah, just not drinking want to get up early. Want to be fresh. Unknown Speaker 21:28 Yes. But I'm the last 10 years have been with people who are getting back in shape. And I've worked with a lot of a list footballers and stuff like that. And the fitness now is about getting back in shape, which covers for those people, I tell them the truth. You know, when they come in with a table, or you want a drink, and I was drinking, by the way to go do and drink, I'll just have cold coke. You're a big guy, you know, what you want to drink. Especially if it's a woman something it's like, I just have a little whiskey and like if I had a whiskey, first of all, I'm going to try to rape you. Or take you on in front of my wife. And then we're going to start fighting anybody who disagrees with me. And then I'm not going to actually get you on because I'll be arrested. What? That's what happens when I drink so I'll just have a coke. Yes, sir. And then walk away Arlina Allen 22:14 from coke coming out. One time I made the mistake and tell this guy at work. Because I go oh, I don't drink and he goes How come and I tend to break out naked. And he was off to drinks place. Oh, wrong, wrong thing to say. Break out in handcuffs. How about that? I'm allergic. Yeah, nobody scared of me fighting. I'm like five, three. That's awesome. But okay, so you know what I wanted to ask you? I did. I saw a lot of your videos and things like that. And you have this very strong personality kind of in your face thing. And there. There are some people that that that that really respond like they respond to that people who are in denial, people who just need that. I think people crave that level of accountability. People want to know where the boundaries are, so they can feel safe. But I don't think it works for everyone. How do you know who that works for I you know, since you are able to adapt to every different kind of alcoholic? I think that's part of the gift the chameleon thing, right? I'm sure you have that too. You have learned to turn that into an asset. How do you read someone to know whether the in your face kind of style works or the gentle nurturing works? Unknown Speaker 23:37 So usually the firt the first indication is where they contacted us. It's like, well, I heard this podcast and oh, my God, I love Dr. Rob cannon, that's the first one he needs in his face. And then you got a parent's recall about this 18 year old girl is second too much heroin. And you know, you need a different approach to that. So and then they need to take an assessment, one of the reasons why we have a 97% success rate, over 20 odd years, 30 years and 7000 patients is because of the assessment. So I find out real quick whether you whether you really want to do this deal. So when when we will not take anybody's money if we can't guarantee that they can recover. So the assessment kind of puts everything into place for me. And you know, most people want what I give, but there are so I have a psychotherapist that works with four girls of sorry, three girls and one guy that needs a soft approach. And that's great. We'll do that. Okay. No, but that Arlina Allen 24:35 be assessment that so you You must turn away a lot of people who don't really want it. Unknown Speaker 24:41 Yes. And that's what people can't understand, especially our so called treatment friends out there who keep checking the same person back time and time again for 30,000 a month is like I won't do that. Well, how do you survive? Well, we took almost a million dollars this year. How much did you take by being honest and straight with people because now we get to get be known like that is if you can't pass, I don't care how much money you've got. We've been offered blank checks, literally blank checks by billionaires and say fill it on yours. Unknown Speaker 25:11 Yes, they're saying, Unknown Speaker 25:12 My child is my child. I'll give you a blank check. You can do anything. You can buy your house, you can take a million you do. I'm the guy that turned down Britney Spears for a million dollars back in Dallas in the day because she came in she was drunk. She was three hours late. And she was a mess. So I said, No, I'm not doing it. Jamie at that girl bunnies are please Rob, please robbed. And the bodyguard often said, You're not leaving until you see her. So I'll put him in his place. And then two days later, she shaved all my hair off. So I won't do that. I can't lock in a parent's face and say, Hey, I'm really sorry. But she didn't want to know, I don't believe in that. If you get somebody with you, one on one, we do one hour a day for 90 days, you can change the way they think, per an Arlina Allen 25:55 hour a day for 90 days. What do you do in that hour? Unknown Speaker 25:58 Well, five days with me, and I go back and change neural pathways. And I change belief and I change behavior. And we build a future for them. So if they need a job, we'll get them on. If they need to start their own business, we'll build them a website, all this great stuff, my psychotherapist will go back to the scenes of the crime. He's specialize in childhood trauma, my number one coach, which is also my daughter, which we'll get into later, and Manchester office in England about a year ago. And she is the family, people because we believe if somebody calls, who wants help in a house, and this him, his wife and two children over the age of 16, all of them need to be in the program. We will take you on say, well, let's just be that sick. Now the house is sick, first of all, and the wife probably enabling, and she's going through some stuff, and she's probably mad or nervous breakdown. So either you all come on, or we don't see you as all Arlina Allen 26:54 that brilliant. Unknown Speaker 26:56 What do you think, you know, if you can imagine a house, let's be let's say speak Japanese. And we to take them out of the house and stick them in our houses, let's speak English, because we have a different language for recovery. So he speaks English, Japanese how still speaking Japanese. So we take the guy we're putting back into the Japanese speaking house, what's going to happen is going to start speaking Japanese. And that's one of the problems with recovery, you don't understand the family dynamic dynamics around the alcoholic, the whole family's sick and we need to heal the whole family. So we find that very unnecessarily intense work with the family dimension, the family unit. And of course, the alcoholic and the desperate wife, you know, terrible when we leave the wives alone or the husband's whoever the drinker is or the user. And we forget all about it. Because they've got the abandonment, they've got the shame, they've got the remorse they've got I always say, you know, sort of wives and husbands or partners or alcoholics or addicts, the PTSD that you have, because you have it, if you will, every one is no different from the PTSD from someone coming home from war. Now, I I love our soldiers, I'm an American citizen, I love them to bits, but just talk about the brain guys, because both of them never know it's going to be the last day, both of them never, no one's going to kick off. Both of them never know that you're not going to walk on eggshells today. It's the same thing. So the brain doesn't know the difference between war and war in the household. That's another thing that people don't understand. So the wife is going to be okay. Now she won't, you know, she will, you know, either commit suicide or do a runner or assist the alcoholic start drinking again, because she can't stand this new person that's come out. So it's really complex when when we talk about fixing, you know, it really is. And that's what we've done. We've spent 20 odd years, I do the latest brain science, I do brain spotting. What's brain spotting brain spot is a new development, that was only three people in the country or the world right now it can do it. Because it's not even, they haven't even bought a training course for it. But brain spotting is a technique that goes into the pupil and to the subconscious brain. It's a bit like a DMR. But it's it's a little different. So we're talking to the subconscious brain. And it's all about eye movement and the flicker in one eye. And then we stay with that flicker in that one eye and we find out what's caused that. And so Arlina Allen 29:17 where are they? I can see I can I see where you're going with this. So when you say that you see the eye flicker that's in the indicate and can't speak this morning. That's an indication that there is a traumatic memory there. Yes. And so you have them you see like what's happening now? Yes, that kind of thing. And the Unknown Speaker 29:36 first response, I know it's nothing, but we hold it there. We hold it. And they've got a look at the pan. And that may take five hours. It might take five minutes, but I'm staying there and all of a sudden they go Yeah, yeah. When you start talking about the traumatic event, it's the most powerful thing I've ever seen. Arlina Allen 29:56 So that's so this is what's been coming up for me lately. is there's the traumatic events like EMDR, like you mentioned, the eye movement desensitization reprocessing or reprogramming. And then there's but what do you do with the people who have the consistent pervasive trauma day in and day out? Like I was talking to a gal who had a mother who was a heroin addict, and she would hear her mother on the phone saying, we don't have enough, I need money, I need to feed my kids. Like she was using her kids as a scapegoat. And she was using her kids to get money. And but and there were times when she didn't have food. So today, she hoards food, and she has a weight issue. Right? It's and so you know, we were going to do some EMDR, or some, you know, hypnosis on that. So she goes, but it's not one situation, it's pervasive. How do you treat that pervasive, repetitive conditioning like that mental conditioning? Unknown Speaker 30:54 So we use the brain spotting, obviously, we also use a technique, which is called somatic experience, which is se people call it se. So we go back and we look at the central nervous system, and why is this being beat? Why is this happening? What's causing it, then we go into the brain, and we look at what's been happening in the past. So now we're using NLP neuro linguistic programming. So we're watching the behavior or watching the brain change and watching the trauma in the past, any patient or constantly, first of all needs to feel safe, we're getting in a safe place. And we go through that through the NLP or the SE. And we find out so then three techniques together, as as well as building confidence in the patient, that you're your own person, you know, and, unfortunately, we're going to go back, and we're going to pick them to pieces, the scene of the crime, as we call it, and then bring you forward through for the trauma through the behavior through the reaction that you have through the fear, but you haven't we walk them through bit by bit until they have clear conscience. And this takes time to deal with that in mind, Arlina Allen 32:02 yeah. Okay. So you create the safe space, you build confidence, and then bring them through those traumatic experiences with the button. So that feeling of safety and confidence overrides? Yes. Fear. Oh, 100%. That's what is the rewiring of the brain? Unknown Speaker 32:23 Yes, it's really it's resetting your pathways is what it is. Yeah. And then, and then once we've reset your pathways, and get them excited about life, the neurons start firing and get as excited. Every time we say certain things like thank you to somebody, dopamine is released into the brain, we use that a lot, you have to compliment three people every day. So it's a new technique that we have been doing for so many years, that used to call it out the box, they still call it out the box. But with the percentage rates that was on a success we had, we just really need to start looking at alternative ways to go back and fix this permanently. We don't need to go to for medication straight away. Because when we do, or, Arlina Allen 33:03 I'm sorry, go ahead and finish. Unknown Speaker 33:06 Thoughts about drugs, especially heroin addicts. 99.9% of heroin addicts started in the doctor's office, just because the doctor says it so it doesn't make it right. Or doesn't make it true. Yeah, and one of my big deals at the moment is fight against your doctor questioning why how when, what's going on? Why do I need to take this what damage is gonna do to what's the long term effect, but we don't we just go to doctors who are getting backhanders from somewhere, because the latest medication like vyvanse is out. And all of a sudden, it's the number one pill, you couldn't get it over here in Texas, you have to wait a week for vyvanse so popular he was someone who's getting something for doing that. What is five ounce vyvanse is a bit like it's it's amphetamine salts, it's it's a bit like Adderall. It's a different name on it. So when we're feeding our kids, amphetamine salts, speed is what we're giving our kids for attention deficit, when I was a kid, attention deficit was a slap across the head and say, concentrate. But there's a whole new story on that, where we go with that I can't get into it now. Because there's a lot more to explain about that. But that's that's what we do with people, you know, and we build them up and we create a life worth living. And we'll go to any lengths to do it and the length now, so doing as we have to, Arlina Allen 34:23 yeah, let me ask you, there's a lot of talk about I really don't have any judgment about about how people get sober and I understand that there's, you know, harm reduction is a thing. Yes, right. Like I get that and but I'm always I don't have enough information to make an informed decision about like the brain and the neural pathways and because while I think it's important for you know, people are smoking weed to get off heroin and that keeps them alive. God bless you. Do what you got to do. My concern is that like If the emotional and mental evolution or progress ends there, Do you have feelings about I'm sure you have feelings or opinions about like, why is harm reduction? not meant to be a permanent thing? Like how, like when I talk to people like that, how can we move them? Yes, I'm glad you're alive. If that's what's keeping you alive, I don't even have an opinion. But what about, what about one day stopping that? What about healing your brain and your dopamine reward system so that you no longer have to do that you can have the benefits of living a full life. Yeah, because I've heard of people on Suboxone for years, that's not the idea, you know, is much harder to come off Suboxone is heroin as a fact. So what we have to do is, is down step and grade and down and then taper off gradually and have an end date for that. So let's say the end date is two months or three months, we need to we need to keep heading towards that. And eventually as the brain starts to weaken up, and the central nervous system starts to activate supposed to do, and the feelings start coming back. And you realize that life is worth living and so much you've missed out on, eventually the end date will happen, and then be able to come off successfully. So depending on how far down how bad the psychosis is, how bad the day has been damaged, you cannot just stop and say, Okay, my fault drugs now, that's the worst thing in the world you can do, right best thing in the world you can do is seek doctor's help, come down and get your doctor to bring you down. Same with alcohol. I'm wherever they call me all the time, while he's drunk. Uh, you know, he's in a bad state of head. Now the bottles, don't hide the bottles, make him drink until he gets to detox. And many people are just ignorant about these because lack of now, therefore, his lack of information, though, we've been stuck in a closet for so long that you know, and that's one of the things that you want to do. Listen, when I was homeless people used to spit on me on the floor. I used to wake up and kids used to throw diapers on me that will fall. You know, having a lie. I woke up one morning, I was covered in this stuff. And I just I'm angry at that. And I'm really happy that I'm in a great place to do that today. So you know, I'm really strong on let's get a solution, a permanent solution for this minutes lotion, medication. Unfortunately, I don't think for addiction or alcoholism in general, permanent medication is not the way to go. That's in my opinion. because nothing's good enough for me. You know, we go to the sandwich shop, my friend has a sandwich and a call, I get to seminary a bag of chips, two cups, you know, I want 50,000 in the bank. Great. So when we get it Oh, it's just 100. It's crazy. So giving people drugs over lunch impaired regarding alcohol in our government, their addiction, not talking about medical, I take, I take a small drug for my depression, my antidepressant. And I'm proud of that, and I'm not coming off it. And that's the way it goes, you know, we should have that fine line between good medical advice. And don't listen to what other people say. So when it comes down to hardcore, abstinence completely 100% for that, the way we get there, wow, I don't care how you get there. When you come to me, there's an A, B, and C and you'll follow that up. People often say the difference between a therapist and what Dr. Rob's crew does, is the therapist will ask you How are you feeling? Then bastards will tell you how to feel. It's like, well, that's what it is. Because if I sat here long enough for me, and I said, I love you. I think you're the most amazing, gorgeous person I've ever seen. I want to leave my late wife tomorrow. And I want to come and find you out and marry you. You're going to laugh. But if I said it often enough, you're going to start to believe it. And if I said it real often enough, I'm going to start to believe it. So what we hear when we get these patients in sets them up for an amazing life. When's the last time somebody said you're an amazing person? When's the last time we thank somebody? I'll tell them I love you. When you start saying you stopped at a hospital walked in and thanked all the nurses. It never happens. Because especially when you get to a position like me and other people like me. I'm in the office some months ago and have two nurses there once a year once in their ages. And I heard them once said, oh my god. Did you see what Dr. Kerry just did with that guy? came in measureable suicidal, he walked out laughing and Western said bye to everybody is an absolute miracle worker 90 days. Yeah. And the older nurses said, Hey, have you told him that? And said, No, not me. They already knows. But I knows. We don't know. No, no. That's okay. So. So this is the interesting thing about, you know, the default mode network, right? That that operating system that we have in our brain and we tend to this what I've had this, you know, this observation that we need that if we've had constant conditioning of negativity, right like you were talking about repetition, you said if I tell you All these beautiful things, you're gonna start to believe that I'm gonna start to believing it's the repetition because the subconscious mind doesn't filter false from the truth. Right? It just takes, it's like the balance scale, which is kind of the good news, right? There's that idea of 51% that we're actually all you need is 51% to tip the scale, right? So it's this ongoing conditioning that that we need. So over those 90 days, they get the, you know, they get reconditioned, their mind is reset, the family is re adjusted. But the kicker is the the default mode network and going back to the old way, it's like if we don't maintain the conditioning, is it true that they go back to the old ways? What do you do for the ongoing conditioning course? Unknown Speaker 40:46 So this is my guys who are less than I'm sorry, what guys are watching? This is my self sabotage. neuropathways there's a blue plan. lymphocytes out sabotage, okay, these down here. Your small bits of self care. This runs my brain. Yes, I will self sabotage. So what this program does is it takes you from there to there, Arlina Allen 41:09 flips it over. Unknown Speaker 41:10 Yeah, so so they said never going to go away. So we need to daily maintain this by the smallest things obviously Peter, spiritual guy, you pray, covenant people at the Good Samaritan, you know, whenever I go into a room, like the room up, because if I walk into a room with a frown on my face, those people are gonna frown back. If I walk in the room and a smile on my face, most people gonna smile back. That's the hardest thing for people to do is practice smiling. You know, because the world needs leaders, you could be a leader for a day in the office or that waiting room or, you know, the elevator, you know, it's all about carrying carrying a message of Hey, you can be anything you want. And people people used to go Dr. Robert cambia president as I beg to differ today. You know, our business has just been run our country Don't tell me you can't do anything. There's no difference in somebody who comes to me almost homeless or homeless like me, and they and the CEO sat in that office above the only difference is he believed he could do it you don't want to believe that they can do it. The world is that oyster? Absolutely. Arlina Allen 42:13 People really understand how powerful beliefs are no are all in your subconscious mind. Unknown Speaker 42:20 Yeah, all powerful they are I always tell people your power but you just don't know it we need to start realizing how powerful you really are. Arlina Allen 42:28 Yes, I think you know and traditional, like 12 step record like the old school recovery is beating the drum of you're powerless you're powerless over you know, that hear it all the time. powerless over people places and things and I think I have to call bullshit on that. Unknown Speaker 42:43 Because you know, it's the face the biggest myth in a Yeah, is what because what is that once the Heartless were all put? No, it doesn't. Arlina Allen 42:51 alcohol. Unknown Speaker 42:53 What are the step one says we admitted we were powerless. How can I be power is not aware, no apostrophe in there. But people put in all powers over I'm not powerless over alcohol. I pass the liquor store. Hey, man, it's a past tense, they meant it to be a past tense. The term a permanent recovery. We had mentioned we were and our lives had now. It's all past tense once you start the steps if you've read the book, I mean, I love 12 step meetings with that big book because it's the truth. Yeah, talk about a psychic change and people go is that crystal ball? Listen, in 1938 when they were talking about a psychic change, it was changed neural pathways. 10 years ago, only 10 years ago in the medical fraternity, we found the brain was like plastic neuroplasticity they call it so same thing to change the neural pathways a mold in them in 1938 these guys were talking about that. Ai rooms right now are a joke. 90% of people in any meeting around the world is a heavy drinker. And we allow them to get away with this bullshit that come in. Oh, today I want to talk about I went to bed last night and my cat was looking bear up from my husband. Is he an alcoholic? Fuck Really? You know, we allow these guys to do that. So the real message is gone. But I've got to tell you 20 Arlina Allen 44:08 depends where you go. It did. Not only not all meetings are created. Oh, Unknown Speaker 44:13 no, they're not. They're amazing meetings. But there's the best piece of literature I've ever read. Is the 164 about about Blue Book. Oh, yeah. All the studies I've done in the world regarding that pertaining to the recovery of an alcoholic was the best book I've ever read. Arlina Allen 44:25 Yeah, I love the community that Yeah, there's so many good things but but you know, you just blew my mind with the whole we're powerless. Not we're powerless. Little apostrophe makes all the difference. And I guess the one thing that really bothers me about the 12 step community is the way some people treat the book like a new Bible. It's the religious dogmatic, like they're close minded to other things. And I wanted to ask you if you had any thoughts or opinions on, like treatment resistant depression with the use of psychedelics, I know Johns Hopkins is doing lots of studies. And there's this new like alternative recovery for people with like, intense heroin addiction or tend to alcoholism. They're doing these Iosco retreats in Costa Rica do what what are your thoughts on those? Unknown Speaker 45:16 Well, I have to be really kind of medical hair and say, hey, there's not enough data to make a decision right now. But we only know a little about the brain, we're discovering more and more every month. So why wouldn't you try that? Why wouldn't you try a different route to get to the same end result? Which is sanity? and living your best life? You know, and it may work for you? It may not? AIA may work for you. It may not. I mean, you don't have to go one place. 111 place is not the answer to everyone's problems here. The answer is to seek out the treatment that your doctor or therapist tells you to try. And I tried aect about five years ago with electronics I can't remember now trauma or something. But I was depressed, very, very depressed. And this is what my hater my career, but I did it for about four weeks best thing I ever did. Oh, my thing I ever did. Yeah, in literally four or five weeks. So I am always looking at different alternative new treatment, you know, and I don't put it down on anybody or anything from the medical fraternity that wants to be tried. Because why wouldn't we? Arlina Allen 46:23 Yeah, I've seen some just really interest. I've been hearing lots of experiences from people who talk about doing these Iosco retreats, I practice abstinence, my life is great. And I don't feel the need to I don't suffer from depression. It sounds very interesting, because it is a it sounds like a process of dissolving the ego. And really, it's like, it's like it drops the veil of denial. And you can see things clearly what you were talking about before about recognizing and acknowledging the truth, right, the truth of maybe some of the fear and the abandonment in the past. And I just found that really interesting. It'll be interesting to see what the Johns Hopkins clinical trials do. But I know of people personally who do things like the micro dosing to treat clinical depression, and things like Unknown Speaker 47:12 somebody like john hopkins university, and hospital to try this because everyone else would put a dampener on it. So I'm glad a good name in the industry. And the medical fraternity has actually taken steps to do this. I think it's absolutely amazing. But at the end of the day, it all goes back to your childhood. And you always go back to the predisposition and the heredis do facts of any illness around especially alcoholism and addiction. So it would be interesting to find out because the problem is with this world right now, is everybody knows somebody with an alcohol or drug problem. And I always say to him, if you don't, it's probably you. Because everybody knows somebody. You know, and a few times I've said that people got very quiet, and ended the conversation real quick. Yeah. So you know, let's bring it out into the open. Let's try all these things for different people and see if we can get a response. Arlina Allen 48:06 Yeah, yeah, life is short. Let's just Cut the bullshit and get to the truth. Unknown Speaker 48:11 sugarcoating. This shit kills people. And when somebody goes into a room, and a room and goes, Well, we're all powerless over alcohol. My answer is always the same. How many fucking people have you killed with that line? How many people have you killed by just saying that you self sank just son of a bitch. Read the park? If you if you stuck in is that was that mean? Read the information that tells us read it. It's awesome. Arlina Allen 48:35 Yeah, and it's not it's not only read it but apply it right we have to take action and apply the information. So it's not enough to know how we are know what we need to know the how we need to know how to apply this information. And, and listen, I just love what you're doing. It's I'm so pumped. I'm gonna leave all your links in the show notes. What's the best way to get ahold of you? If somebody is needing your help or wanting your help Unknown Speaker 49:00 jump on a Google or anything like that search engine. Just put my name in there. Dr. Rob Kelly, you'll see me websites Rob Kelly, calm I spell my name with two B's. So it's our BB k e Ll y.com. And if you want Listen, guys, I want to say something. If you're sat at home and listen to this and don't think you're worth anything and don't think you can allow anything because of your past. I want to apologize to you guys. Because somebody put that there. We are born with million dollar minds stop hanging around 10 cent minds, it's not for you. So that being said, I know people are set on going it's okay for him to do a turn to I don't know what to do. I'm going to give you my phone number here and my personal phone number. And if you're sat at home in a bad state, I'd rather come and help you right now and come to your funeral. So if you're sat at home in a bad state and want a 10 minute pep talk that will change your life. Here's my personal phone number people don't believe me. This is my cell phone number. It's not my assistance. It's not the front desk. It's 214600 zero to one, zero. Now, as you can imagine, I'm a busy guy where you call me or text me, leave a message, I will get back to you and it will be okay. Don't believe the hype. It's gonna be alright. Arlina Allen 50:12 Wow, that's impressive. I was like, Oh shit, he's really going to do it. Unknown Speaker 50:17 No, people are surprised that that you know, it just I know, I'm in the trenches with you guys. It's on to a homeless guy that got his kids taken off in, you know, that fell asleep. Last drive his kids Three days later not being changed or fed and I'm drunk on the floor, and the police drag them out of there. This is the guy that his eldest daughter said, baby, Daddy, please stop drinking and I couldn't do it. Six months later, I was homeless, the million dollar house had gone. The cars the wife, the kids, the parents, the brother and sister, I was abandoned on the street, I can do this. I'd love to sit here and tell you, I'm really clever. But I'm not. If I can do this, you can do that. You just need that 10 Mini pep talk to set you on the real track. And of course it had been helped you professionally, of course. But you do have to pass an assessment. And 75% of people that come to us fail the assessment, unfortunately, because we're the real deal. We're talking to true. Arlina Allen 51:09 accountability. I love it. Dr. Rob Kelly, thank you so much for your time today. I am so inspired and excited about the work that you're doing. I can't wait to leave all the links to all the resources and thank you so much for being the real deal and giving your phone number. That's incredible. Unknown Speaker 51:29 I know it's awesome. Thank you guys for listening and thank you Arlina you're an amazing and I love you by the way. Arlina Allen 51:34 I love you. I believe you. You have a wonderful day. Thank you so much. Thank you. Bye bye Transcribed by https://otter.ai
Our enthusiasm is a little embarrassing, but we are true fangirls of Paul Gilmartin and his podcast, The Mental Illness Happy Hour. Listen in as Paul shares his own struggles openly and vulnerably -- in an effort to help others move through and beyond their own. A well-known comedian and host of the long-running TBS show, Dinner and a Movie, Paul Gilmartin turned to podcasting in 2011 as a way to work through his own trauma. In a podcast the New York Times calls, "a perversely safe place in which he and his guests talk about their fears, addictions and traumatic childhoods," Paul's openness and empathy have endeared him to millions of listeners around the world. This episode contains accounts of personal and sexual trauma which may be disturbing or upsetting to some listeners. It is intended for mature audiences only.
When God made Ben he broke the mold...thank goodness! We celebrate his birthday with our favorite stories about the man, the myth, the legend...George Benjamin Campbell Recorded Thursday October 7, 2021 with Tim Hattrick, Ben Campbell, Brooke Hoover and Barrel Boy
Many Technology Organizations struggle to navigate Microsoft's complexity to achieve their most significant results. It is why I first started this podcast to help organizations navigate to achieve their highest performance results with Microsoft. I also believe that we in the tech sector have an opportunity and perhaps an obligation to lead during this time like no other. I discuss both areas in this far-reaching conversation, Merrie Williamson, Microsoft CVP of Azure Infrastructure, Azure IOT, and Digital & Application Innovation. Merrie is a future-pacing leader who describes for our listeners how she and her organization push through boundaries as a growth mindset and empathy unlock potential. Merrie Williamson is the Corporate Vice President of Azure Infrastructure, Azure IoT, and the newly launched Digital and Application Innovation solution area in the Microsoft Customer and Partner Solutions business group. She is responsible for Microsoft's global commercial sales, strategy, and execution for the core multi-billion dollar Azure business. As Microsoft and their customers continue to transform with digital solutions, the requirements for ever more agile sales models with deeper investments in technical breath and customer compassion are required. Merrie joined Microsoft in 2019 as an executive leader with deep roots in building cloud technologies and driving global cultural transformation. It was critical to finally have Merrie visit this platform to share her organization's important work and her rich experiences with our listeners. This interview was just so rich and far-reaching, we split it into two segments for your listening. I hope you enjoy this discussion as much as I enjoyed welcoming Merrie Williamson as a guest on Ultimate Guide to Partnering®. What you'll learn in this episode: Her view on the Microsoft organization and mission.What it was like to join Microsoft just before the start of the pandemic.Her team's work to align engineering, marketing, and sales for Microsoft's most complex offers.Her view on Microsoft, Satya, Growth Mindset and how Empathy Unlock's Potential.How this leader learned to blend in, while pushing through boundaries to achieve incredible business success. Listen to other recent episodes featuring Microsoft Leaders. 115 – CREATING VALUE TO INNOVATIVE ROUTES-TO-MARKET WITH PRECISE INDUSTRY AND CUSTOMER SOLUTIONS – US Scale Solution Partners with Oguo Atuanya.65 – AN AUTHENTIC CONVERSATION, FROM CO-SELLING TO THE IMPACT OF SOCIAL INJUSTICE – Enterprise Partner Sales with Lani Phillips.94 – WHERE CAN I HELP? A SERVANT LEADER'S MINDSET FOR PARTNER GROWTH – Global Independant Software Vendors (ISV) with Carlos DeTorres. Links & Resources Connect with Merrie Williamson https://www.linkedin.com/in/merriewilliamson/ Rate & Review – please, this helps more listeners find us!Learn more how Ultimate Partnerships helps technology organizations optimize partner results.Ultimate Guide to Partnering Linked In – Stay tuned as I'll share details around our new offering for you.Subscribe to Ultimate Guide to Partnering on Apple, Spotify, Google, Audible, SoundCloud, Stitcher, Player FM, almost anywhere you get your podcasts!About Vince Menzione.Follow or reach Vince – Linked In, Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram.Ultimate Guide to Partnering Facebook.Drop me a line – email@example.com. This episode of the podcast is sponsored by Ultimate Partnerships. Ultimate Partnerships helps you get the most results from your partnerships. Get Partnerships Right – Optimize for Success – Deliver Results – Ultimate Partnerships.
The humanity of friendship and the ethics of True Crime podcasting... and an upcoming project...Guest: Jacob Randall, Crime of Your Life and Happy Horror Time------------------------Promo: Crime and CompulsionDisclaimer: Mary VirginiaMusic: Jake Pierle -- https://jakepierle.bandcamp.com/------------------------Facebook group: The Asylum -- https://bit.ly/iwbasylumDiscord server: Ignorance Was Bliss Satellite Campus -- https://bit.ly/iwbdiscordMerch: https://bit.ly/iwbpodcastmerchPatreon: https://www.patreon.com/IWBpodcastTikTok (@iwbpodcast): Podcast ChecklistSponsor: Bath By Bex (code CBDkate for 15% off)
John and Uncle Seth back for more as they bite into what exactly happened to individuality and community in the last year. Was there a chance to unite under a common cause and repair social rifts? Or is taking horse de-wormer really the issue at stake here? WAWTAR!Interested in joining First Things Foundation? We are looking to send people to Sierra Leone and the Georgian Republic! Check out our Join FTF page: https://first-things.org/opportunities for more info, or email Daniel at firstname.lastname@example.orgGagimargos! Wait, what does that mean? Learn more about the Georgian Supra, why it's integral too our work, and its symbolic significance here: https://thesymbolicworld.com/articles/the-symbolism-of-the-supra/If you like this podcast, please consider leaving a review with your comments. Your support keeps this podcast alive and allows us to broaden our discussion. You can also check out First Things Foundation: https://first-things.org/ for more information on who we are and what we do.You can support our work around the world and this podcast by visiting https://first-things.org/donate - all recurring donors will also gain access to our weekly Podcourse: https://first-things.org/wawtar-podcourse where we further explore New World, Old World themes in an online class setting (capped off by a Supra dinner at the end of the semester).---CreditsMusic:Intro / Outro Provided by Edward Gares / Pond5.comSound effects and additional music:Sounds provided by https://www.zapsplat.comSupport the show (https://first-things.org/donate)
Devon Banks is the top Sales Development Representative at HAAS Alert, an organization that builds lifesaving mobility solutions to make vehicles and roads safer and smarter. Their vision is a connected, collision-free world where everyone gets home safely. Devon is an incredibly dedicated and detailed sales professional who approaches sales with humanity, empathy, and an open mind.
Pete and Jen discuss a topic this week that they have never discussed with each other, but is very important to each of them: courage.Specifically, in this episode Jen and Pete talk about:Is courage a practice?Why might it take courage to do the things we want to do?How might one cultivate courage?To hear all Episodes and read full transcripts visit The Long and The Short Of It website: https://thelongandtheshortpodcast.com/.You can subscribe to our Box o' Goodies here (https://thelongandtheshortpodcast.com/) and receive a weekly email full of book and podcast recommendations, quotes, videos and other interesting things Jen and Pete are noodling on. To get in touch, send an email to: email@example.comLearn more about Pete's work here (https://humanperiscope.com/) and Jen's work here (https://jenwaldman.com/).
Ben Higgins or known as "Perfect Ben" from the Bachelor Franchise rose to sudden stardom in 2015 from the reality show. This year Ben released his vulnerable personal memoir "Alone in Plain Sight: Searching for Connection When You're Seen but Not Known" where he opens up about his struggles with addiction, fame and finding true connection. Ben relayed those lessons and other important stories in this episode. Detailing the journey he's been on to overcome the illusion of perfection and ultimately cultivate a genuine sense of belonging. What you'll hear more of in this episode: - How he aspired to be an athlete who earned a platform and spread positivity with it -The impact of doing selfless things and how he's found it more fulfilling than pursuing personal success -Failure is a coachable moment that humbles expectations -Being alone and feeling isolated are very different states of existence and should be consciously acknowledged as such -Empathy is learned, not given -Labels should be filtered through your circle before absorbing it to attach an emotion Get Ben's Book: https://www.thomasnelson.com/p/alone-in-plain-sight/ Follow Ben on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/higgins.ben/ Follow Ben on Twitter: https://twitter.com/benhiggi Follow Thrivin' on Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/thrivinpodcast/ Join our FB Group - https://www.facebook.com/groups/374531347301074 Follow Thrivin' on Twitter - https://twitter.com/thrivinpodcast Learn more about Thrivin' - https://www.thrivininthewild.com/
Stefanie Lucianovic is on the #ReadingWithYourKids #Podcast to celebrate her stunningly beautiful #PictureBook Hello Star. The book, which is illustrated by Vashti Harrison, tells the story of a curious girl who learns that a bright light in the sky is coming from a dying star. She promises to keep it company until the light goes out. Every night the girl reassures her friend that she is still there. This touching tribute to stars, space, and science celebrates how a small act of compassion can flourish into a life full of meaning and wonder Click here to visit Stephanie's website - https://www.stephanielucianovic.com/ Click here to visit our website - www.readingwithyourkids.com
Empathy can often be confused with sympathy and regular old compassion. But it's not exactly either one of those. Some say a lack of empathy can indicate sociopathic tendencies, but that's not always true either. So what is empathy and what makes someone prone to empathize? Listen in to this classic episode to find out. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.com