PEOPLE YOU CAN DO THIS

A big change is coming to my podcast format. Watch for it next week.

Controlling our anger can be very difficult. Controlling our anger during COVID can be worse.I know for me anger is hard to get a handle on. When I'm asked to do things that are outside of my comfort zone or things that are just not the norm. I know that to control my anger I have to change my knee jerk reaction to people, events and circumstances. 

Parenting was never meant to be an activity you do in isolation. You need to have at least one good friend.

When you can't provide your kids with the latest gadgets, expensive clothes, or go on exotic vacations, it is easy to feel like you live under a financial curse. You blame yourself and you are convinced this will be your lot in life.  But money doesn't define who you are, and it doesn't determine your success as a parent.  

Single Moms are tough because they have learned how to break through the stifling, mundane repetition of parenting and live their lives in freedom. 

Much of our adult mindset and our self-concept find their roots in our childhood trauma or unpleasant events. Research has shown that we accept labels placed on us by others or by ourselves even at an early age. These labels would haunt me through my adult life until I broke free from my past.

You know that being a parent really has some perks. And those perks far out-weigh all the negative stuff.

So, even though being a parent is hugely gratifying, it also has some issues we will need to look at if you are going to rest under the palm trees in peace and tranquility.

People swear that they're going to change their lifestyle and turn over a new leaf.But come January 7th, you discover that none of the resolutions you made on New Year's Eve are going to happen, at least not this year. For the most part, resolutions never become a reality, and there is a reason why they don't. 

 When Christmas came around, my sister and I didn't expect much, and Mom had prepared us for the worst. Our caseworker had made arrangements to get us a free Christmas tree, Mom had made some homemade Christmas Cookies and someone had given my sister and me a used aquarium and a few tropical fish. That was pretty much it.  But my Dad had promised my Mom that he would bring us gifts for Christmas. When she shared this with us we became euphoric. We would have a real Christmas after all.  

As we grew older we got a little bit more sophisticated and we would actually write out our Christmas wishes and leave it in a prominent place so that our parents good find it and take action.I did notice that parents never filled out a list. This week we're going to correct that so take out a pencil and a paper and we're going to write a Christmas list you will be proud of. 

Ho-Ho-Ho! Tis the season to be jolly…right?It's the time of year to be Joyful right?Then why is it so hard to get in the mood this year?Parents are struggling to put on a happy face and many are pretending they are OK. But you might not be OK. But this year, especially this year, it's Ok to not be OK…

I spent a good part of my life, wondering, "why am I wired the way I am?" I asked myself why I felt like a failure. To overcome the self-disappointment, I spent a good part of my life trying to live up to the expectations of family, friends, college professors, bosses, preachers, and even Facebook Friends. That didn't help either. I found that as time went by I continually failed to live up to my OWN brutal self-expectations. The chance of making something of myself seemed more hopeless with each passing year.But then, I experienced an incredible breakthrough. I discovered Hope. 

The two most commercialized Holidays in America are Halloween and Christmas. Beginning as early as August, you will notice the stores are full of decorations of goblins and ghosts and creepy-crawly things all designed to scare the bejeebers out of our kids or us. In September, the stores fill up with reindeer, and Santas and snow-men…and wrapping paper, and mistletoe and holly…and tinsel and wreaths and garland…and the grinch and fudge and artificial Christmas trees…But lost amid these two over marketed events is the most ignored Holiday of the year. The Holiday who's very name speaks of its purpose…the day of Thanksgiving. And on that day, one of the things often left off the list of commemoration is our kids. Today we will look at the second part of WHY AM I A THANKFUL PARENT

As we approach Thanksgiving, it does us well to reflect on what the first pilgrims must have faced as they arrived in the New World. In November of 1620 they landed to face a horrible winter. Of the 110 that arrived, less than 50 survived that first winter. They were cold, hungry and homesick.  If asked who felt thankful those first months, no one was ready to celebrate. But come the fall of 1621, everything had changed. Befriended by Samoset and Squanto, who were  Abnaki Indians, the Pilgrims learned how to farm the acres around Plymouth. This resulted in bumper crop and the colony was saved.No longer focused on pure survival, there was plenty to celebrate. Like the Pilgrims who put aside their suffering, today we will put aside the reasons why parenting is so hard and look at three reasons why having kids is something to be thankful for.

Why, when it comes to parents, am I convinced that you can do this? It is because, I found out that in spite of all of the obstacles, the sleepless nights and the feelings of failure…parents, (real parents), are relentless. They may talk about giving up but they don't. 

You became a parent, thinking that your children would be obedient, respectful, and kind little people who would give you some nurture, respect, and fulfillment. Instead, you discovered that they suck up all your time and energy, and money... often leaving you feeling empty and frustrated. You have become your child's servant, chauffeur, chef, and now (thanks to COVID) their teacher as well. You definitely love your kids, but it feels like no one loves you in return. Something has got to change… and fast.

Self-care prevents “overload burnout”: We've all been there: you push yourself to the point that you can't take anymore so you just give up. Self-care helps you avoid getting to that point.Self-care reduces the negative effects of stress: A small amount of stress can serve a purpose, but after a while, it just breaks down your mind and body. Taking care of yourself means keeping your stress from taking over so you can function at full capacity.So this week we will continue where we left off and move forward to cover three more steps that will help you focus on you and your self-care:

When it comes to being a parent, we typically focus on the kids or on our spouse and their successes and accomplishments. For the most part, it gives us a certain degree of pride when we see they're doing well. But what about you? Are you getting any credit for all the hard work that you put in every day? It's OK to look for your face in the family photo and feel good about who you are. Today we will take a look at focusing on caring for yourself.

The self-help gurus have all kinds of ways to help us become better people. They talk about getting on a fitness program, and they talk about reading one book a day or a week or a month. They talk about listening to positive material and associating with winners.  Frankly, I can't argue with any of these things. They all help build our minds and feed our emotional selves. These things are all good.  But if you are like me you might find them to be a little bit simple. Kind of like the difference between instant oatmeal and the honest-to-goodness cook on the stovetop variety. They can both pass as oatmeal, but only the slow-cook old fashioned Quaker Oats offers substance and goes the distance. Today, we are going to get inside your head a little bit. We might have to leave some bread-crumbs to find our way out. Don't worry; this is usually painless, and no parents have been injured in the process… 

Lord knows we live in a world nowadays that is depressing enough. The airwaves are filled with enormous negativity and depressing scenarios. Many parents are struggling to keep their emotional health. And to make matters worse, the Red Sox finished dead last in their division and didn't make the play-offs. Good grief!Despite all the negativity, today I am going to share 5 Ways To Be A More Positive Parent

In this, the second part of the series: When Do I Get The Apple, we will review one more step for helping you weather the storm of teaching at home. Today we look at the need for getting your kids involved in the process and giving them responsibility for their education. If you get a handle on this one, it will make your job a lot easier and make your homeschooling experience a great one.

If you have had to switch roles and suddenly become a teacher on top of your responsibility as a parent, you might feel like you got hit by a bus, a school bus. It may seem like you are doing all of this extra work, and you don't even get a nice ripe apple for your desk.Today I have some good news for you and some solid tips on how to make it easier on yourself. 

For many parents, this is a season where they battle depression, anxiety, and an overall sense of unhappiness. There are several reasons for this Pandemic anxiety. Part of the reason is that Moms and Dads are being forced to function in roles that they were never trained for nor expected.Additionally, parents are fearful about their ability to perform in their new positions as educators, chefs, Phys-Ed teachers, and I.T. personal.But overall, the number one reason for discouragement is that parents have needs that are being ignored.

The Grandparenting job does not come with an owner's manual, and there are no customer service people you can call. But to help you to become a dynamic Grandparent, I will offer some very practical, self-development tools so that you can become the kind of person God wants to use to create a legacy.

Today, we will continue our two-part series about the rat-race balancing act. If you are relentlessly trying to be a super-employee and, at the same time, trying to be a super parent, you will benefit from the 4 remaining quick steps that will help you reduce your work/home stress.

If you are a stressed-out working parent trying to stay balanced on your own High-Wire, feeling like, at any moment, you will come crashing to the ground, then what I have for you today is going to be transformational.

Today we will talk about how to begin fixing broken relationships with estranged and alienated family members. We will take some initial steps in learning how you can turn your Home into a place of unconditional love and harmony.

You can't manage time. Everyone has the same 24 hours each day. No more no less. But it seems like some parents get a lot more accomplished in that amount of time than you do. Why is that? 

Today we will take a brief look at how you can begin to overcome your frustration, loneliness, and feelings of failure and replace those negative emotions with your own 24/7 support and encouragement system.

Many parents have discovered that they are raising Terrorists and they are being held hostage by their bratty, controlling, and demanding children. It is time to break the behavior and restore peace. Yes, you can do this. 

50% of all parents in the US feel like failures. Most grew up in homes they say were dysfunctional. They had little mentoring and no formal instruction on how to be a great parent. My podcasts serve to address those issues for stressed-out working parents.