Porn To Paradise: My Journey From Self-Indulgence To Meaning, Beauty & Something Bigger Than Myself

Music- All's Well that Ends Farewell (The Batman, 2022) Michael Giacchino

Porn is not merely on the screen. It is in our minds. Fall, Get back up & go to God

I sounded drunk because it was 3 in the morning.

Making your well being the motivation for not indulging in pawrn. Not arbitrary rules. See the reason behind the rules. Pawrn is limiting us from all that we COULD BE. WE CAN BE MUCH MORE THAN WE ARE. CHASE IT.

Fear of commitment? of the unknown? of the loss of other potentialities? =paralysis

I've only been using Hinge for less than 2 weeks and the mental fatigue is felt.

eHarmony & Hinge experiences so far. Covid killed my libido which may be a blessing in disguise. Covid also found to implicate erectile dysfunction in some men. https://www.webmd.com/lung/news/20210513/coronavirus-lingers-in-penis-and-could-cause-impotence

Marriage as an image of salvation. How distorted Christianity allows for passivity. You are only guaranteed to win the game IF YOU PLAY THE GAME. (faith + works)

A part of me does love PRORORnographee. Own up to this. A podcast with no listens/views is a prayer to God. Talking to God regardless of feelings.

nothing special. sticking to the plan. fail. get back up. move on. be human.

Forgot to mention I bought the dude at the No Frills a chocolate bar for letting me in when the store was closing. Coleson, you da man.

The beginning of recording every day for my own mental health journey and to hopefully inspire other average bros. End music: The Lonely Shepherd (JAMES LAST, GHEORGHE ZAMFIR)

Observation: feelings of resentment at random attractive women. Theory: the more you indulge in porn, the more you will hate beautiful women in real life. The paradox of uncontrolled desire is that I hate what I lust after, because 1) I cannot get it and 2) I know that it has control over me. The key is to separate these feelings from the woman herself. Otherwise you end up seeing women as the enemy. They are not. Instead they are merely the hosts that our parasitical desires have hijacked.

Isaiah Chapter 53 Music: Band of Brothers, Suite 2 (Michael Kamen) "For he bore the sin of many, and made intercession for the transgressors."

V - vision I - intention M - means https://dwillard.org/articles/beyond-pornography

Chapter One

Running thru the latest moment of weakness, and practical applications. Thanks to Donny D for his encouragement (https://anchor.fm/donny-duckbutter) Never give up.

Why a covid Christmas is in some ways truer to the original Christmas story. Addiction is kind of like demon possession, and the hope there is for both.

Dealing with hypocrisy. Reflecting on a recent screw up. My personal battle is like a deformed baby. Steps on moving forward. Shoutout to Donny Duckbutter! Check out his podcast: Addicted to Porn

Hate evil, love the good. The tunnel vision of addiction. Every temptation is a chance to solve a puzzle. Addicts have the greatest potential.

Attempting to coherently piece together my past, while likely missing most of it. Feel free to fast forward as it is a bumbling mess