Serious Hyperbole

On this episode I talk about the Army ruining camping for me, what it's like being stuck in the woods with your ex for a month, the new definition of a friend, women needing to earn men's attention just as much as men need to earn their attention, fake lesbians, chandelier titty tattoos, and breaking down what nipple piercings actually are

On this episode I talk about a flooded parking lot, my food poisoning, Cinco de Mayo being St. Patrick's Day for hispanics, Eli Manning's friend hating my Patriots hoodie, why aren't Mexican's in the Tour de France, and my brother joins me to discuss spending money, accidental pooping, farting during an orgasm, Bengay on balls, and falling in love with the wrong person while in a relationship

On this episode I talk about growing hair, flying United Airlines, wardrobe changes for spring, managing anger, how to plant a bomb in my head, women being the ultimate game masters, Aaron Rodgers dumping Olivia Munn, women who are controlling, and including your significant other in your life more to keep the peace

On this episode I talk about dating a married woman, why you shouldn't give crazy women orgasms, taking responsibility for your actions, women who love fighting, selfishness being a respectable quality for some reason, the world's worst delivery driver, my solution to snow in parking spots, and my brother learning how to change a tire from a homeless man

On this episode I talk about how much it sucks knowing you're getting sick, people who brake too much, my new neighbors, a sketchy bowling alley, movie studios being out of touch, women being dumbfounded when they get dumped, why I never went down on a girl for 2 years, and why the term "free spirit" should stop being used

On this episode I talk about my friend wanting me to get into the porn industry, treating myself for once, why March is useless, seeing a WWE wrestler in a bar, my nightclub experience, greeting women with a hug and a kiss on the cheek, realizing not all women are angels, NASA discovering new planets, and my neighbors' revenge tactics on the landlord

On this episode I talk about Super Bowl 51, the Patriots parade, my trip to Boston, Valentine's Day, why I never let girls win in a friendly competition, Caitlyn Jenner's upcoming nude photo shoot, how you can tell someone's maturity level by how they get dressed, and why guys get bored with their special lady

On this episode I talk about my hiatus away from the podcast, everyone's New Year's resolutions falling apart, how nervous I am for the Super Bowl, my strategy for waiting on food, Instagram models, my dissection of self entitlement, Meryl Streep not making the softball team, and why Vin Diesel should stop making movies for a while

On this episode I talk about Christmas shopping for adults, gift wrapping styles, my holiday spirit, Amy Schumer fans being overconfident, the last boxing match of Bernard Hopkins, why Keanu Reeves might really be The One, college football players skipping Bowl games, tripping in basketball, and my New Years Eve tradition

On this episode I talk about the Rockefeller Center Christmas tree lighting, my terrible landlord, wanting to move to New York, the thinking and planning done before you move, the ideal way to make your place more homey as a man, why it's a good idea to bring a woman along when you shop, why mystery is a good thing, and batting 1000 in the bedroom and still getting complaints

On this episode I talk about my great Friendsgiving, my terrible Thanksgiving, Kwanzaa, adults being too excited for Christmas, believing Fidel Castro died in 2010, Drake at NBA games, my brother's paranoia, why flirting is cheating, the real reason some women have all male friends, and why I think it's time I get a dog

On this episode I talk about President-elect Donald Trump, why the crying voters need to relax, why I believe Hillary Clinton lost, presidential candidate commercials, kicking someone when they're down, catalysts to my temper, overkill when standing up for yourself, Theo "The Curse Killer" Epstein, female sports fans, and No Shave November for both sexes

On this episode I talk about NFL trades, Halloween costumes, yard sales, mischief night, thinking more before I speak, old men in locker rooms, the radio reading your mood, why I'm incapable of dumping someone, the beauty of an aloof attitude, Hilary Clinton vs the FBI, and why we should be paying more attention to the Vice President candidates

On this episode I talk about why I don't like most people, the worst type of person from both sexes, condoms of the future, why watching 3D movies is more work for you, being the right amount of selfish, women who play the victim, the stupid reason why men cheat, the immature reason why women cheat, women that have their all male life staff

On this episode I talk about softball leagues with grown men, finding out I have the NFL Redzone package, Tom Brady's return, why I'm giving up on my fantasy football league, check-in phone calls from your ex, dropkicking clowns in self-defense, Florida not being a safe vacation destination, and Donald Trump's pussy grabbing crusade

On this episode I talk about the autumn weather transition, terraforming Mars, my partial deafness caused by a concert, why I love the Patriots, why I don't watch college football, women in fantasy football, Anthony Weiner sexting again, the atrocity that is shaving, falling asleep behind the wheel, and my theory about the train crash in Hoboken New Jersey

On this episode I talk about my struggle with Apple's iOS 10 update, the most unrealistic NFL commercial, an update on the Patriots, how much women are suffering from the NFL and NBA 2K season, make-up tutorials killing time, the three stages of my libido, why women shouldn't brag about anything relating to sex, and my encounter with a bug from the seventh circle of hell

On this episode I talk about complaining to yourself, claiming you don't have a filter as a scapegoat for your bad behavior, stage five clingers, why it's not rude to not mesh with your friend's friends, the best way to introduce your significant other to your family, a Labor Day BBQ calamity, and the dilemma of your girlfriend having a guy as her best friend

On this episode I talk about unnecessary things to buy and do to prepare for a hurricane, my first wedding experience, things going wrong on important days, why you shouldn't play the victim, ugly guys being the best dressed, being scolded for being a good person, being terrible at accepting compliments, horoscope tomfoolery, and I answer a listeners question

On this episode I talk about Verizon service representatives being the new Jehovah's Witnesses, a British mother getting cheeky in Shoprite, Nate Diaz vs Conor McGregor, people that are afraid to insult anyone, back to school from a teacher's perspective, keeping boring sports out of the Olympics, and why I'm trying to rid myself of all doormat behavior

On this episode I talk about politically correct morons, women dreading the NFL season, average people on performance enhancing drugs, the before the wedding photoshoot, amazing liars, why being drunk doesn't give you a pass, the fine line between friendly and flirty, who you shouldn't think you have a chance with, and Demi Lovato patting herself on the back for being brave

On this episode I talk about the podcast upgrade, doing more things alone, being spoiled from sleeping with a significant other in bed, the importance of a beard, tattoos being more accepted, Olympic scheduling and venues, my gripes with gymnastics, trash talking in sports, and sports that should be in the Olympics

On this episode I talk about what black comedy is, the difference between good crazy and bad crazy, self righteous people, why I'm suspicious of beautiful people, why a model has the easiest life, idiotic men letting women take advantage of them, the necessity to being a bit of an asshole, and my reasoning as to why Jesus hated the heat as much as I do

On this episode I talk about the fact that everyone poops, why I despise summer weather, my odd doctor, why you don't get to decide how people feel about you, who are the visitors and prisoners in sexual perversion, crazy women being phenomenal in bed, the memo on chokers, insecure women, my preparation for fantasy football, and what to look forward to for the Olympic Games

On this special "Crazy Women Episode" I talk about me not believing I'm good-looking, crazy women logic, women that stick to assumptions, my unparalleled loyalty, a lack of respect while being involved with someone, women being oblivious to men liking them, why you shouldn't use crazy woman logic on crazy women, women being more freaky than men, mixed signals, ignoring red flags, what getting Charlie Brown'd means, and how to spot a quitter

On this episode I talk about a useless doctor's appointment, Pokemon GO, why I believe media coverage is rising rather than crime, what I learned from hanging out with elderly men, being original and not changing for anyone or anything, how old school school is, women making life harder on themselves, and how to become a human lie detector

This week I talk about the delay with the revamping of the podcast, Canada Day, my hospital visit with my brother, why I fear doctors, my wish to realize I'm a sleeper cell for the CIA, obnoxious vehicles, people that record too much of their lives, my key making dilemma, and the lifestyle change I'm making to stop being such a negative Nancy

This week my good friend Mary joins me to talk about our first impressions of each other, a creep sexually assaulting drunk women in a bar, teachers having sex with their students, rich people having terrible taste in clothes, and the most embarrassing thing that's happened to us during any intimate moment in our lives

This week I talk about the new title and look of this podcast coming soon, a coliseum bout between a gorilla and a young boy, who turns guys into assholes, sex clouding your judgement, what the criteria is for getting a 9-10 on the attraction scale, Johnny Depp vs Amber Heard, a classic interview with Sean Connery, and something scary about the equality movement

This week I talk about new college graduates, what to do at a significant other's family function, my anxiety attack, a how to guide on drunk texting, why you should not trust anyone out the gate, women losing trust in men, shitty friend advice, threesome benefits and problems, everything being an ass workout in the gym for women, and Memorial Day Weekend etiquette

This week I talk about old people sex, why erectile dysfunction is a myth, self sabotage, notebooks in the gym, my brother gaining weight on a gluten free diet, the NBA becoming like soccer when it's actually group-golf, shopping for women, Mother's Day gift etiquette, and women writing everything in stone while men live in the moment

This week I talk about what Prince's family is fighting over possession of, the lack of voting motivation, Tom Brady being served bull with a side of shit, going 2 weeks without ejaculating, Beyonce and Jay-Z's business strategy, take your kid to work day, smart dumb people, acting your age, and Cinco de Mayo

This week I talk about the pull and pray method, why Plan B was invented by a male scientist, how to be cool like you kick jukeboxes and wear leather jackets, the level of softness needed to have a Twitter beef with someone, my adult clothes shopping experience, people that are needed in your circle, and why picturing people naked to calm yourself down doesn't work

This week I talk about my theory on how lesbians fight, serving sizes in fancy restaurants, dress codes for going out, the physical soap opera that is Wrestlemania, where not to sit at a baseball game, pacing yourself in the bedroom, the wonders of self body shaming, getting summer ready, and tropical vacations becoming pointless due to poor timing

This week I talk about no one caring about your birthday from ages 50-65, Easter being a mishmash of activities for both children and adults, a turkey getting executed on my street, why cheating is 90% men's doing, April Fool's being the cheater's holiday, why I don't ever get jealous, ego stroking, and my buddy disrupting the Date Time Continuum

This week I talk about other numbers besides 69 being sexy, how to get the lady in your life to invest in wet resistant underwear, where to go if you want to do butt stuff, church needing the NBA flair treatment, my issue with sleep talking, why Snapchat could have saved me, and why Lois Lane distracts Superman thus giving Batman the victory

This week I talk about my St. Patrick's Day weekend sober shenanigans, herding drunks, why you should keep to yourself if you're sick, a reminder as to why I don't drink, laws of prom, creeps who lurk in the shadows, the rules and regulations for helping a drunk woman, and why I refuse to hop on the bandwagon and watch the NBA

This week I talk about the Diaz vs McGregor fight and results, why it's a terrible excuse to blame a relationship for you being out of shape, contouring going too far, curing jealousy by being a side dude, when it's okay to fart in front of a woman, why skunks and possums should go extinct to save pandas and tigers, Siri's blind racism, and living in space

This week I talk about the purpose of dick holes in men's underwear, Apple vs the FBI, a pleasant fender bender, why it isn't good Leonardo DiCaprio won an Oscar, having sex while a dog is in the room, going to a bar with a cloud of estrogen, and the visual torture of watching guys fail at a bar/club

This week I talk about lazy firemen, ESPN not talking about Peyton Manning's nutsack, Manny Pacquiao insulting the LGBT community and PETA in one sentence, the Pope getting angry, Saturday morning cartoons vs Sunday morning church, attractive women having filthy rooms, and a strategy that men should implement to keep impressing their woman in the bedroom

This week I talk about the aftermath of the Super Bowl, over zealous compliments given to people who look good for their age, a smart way of doing Valentine's Day, guys that have been unknowingly lured into Valentine's Day, what happens to the thing you return to the store, guys you shouldn't trust, and my hunger for more tattoos

This week I talk about slow cooking a roast during the podcast, too much Super Bowl hype, my off-season hopes for the Patriots, announcing things way too soon, reasons for my bulking, fake alien looking asses, body hair standards for men and women, Arabs knowing how to party, and Sylvester from the Looney Tunes running for president along with the Legion of Doom

This week I am joined by Albert and Mary to talk about how cars work while someone gets frustrated, getting bootleg Louis Vuitton bags, what the Super Bowl trophy should be, the two athletes female bandwagon fans know about, Penn State tragedies turned into jokes, and alcohol activities

This week I talk about this awful winter wonderland, why bath bombs are disgusting, "adopting" wild animals, learning to drive a manual car, why I'm not a fan of celebrating my birthday, masturbation booths in the workplace, and why a daft twat got offended by my comment on her Facebook post

This week Mary joins me to talk about baby geniuses, the art of "the reach", bad handjobs, catcalling causing PTSD for women evidently, and how serious Zumba is (*Disclaimer* this episode has audio taps from Mary and I tapping on the table, it's not your device. 1,000 apologies...don't hit me)

This week I talk about my New Years Eve tradition, competitive gift giving with my brother, men wearing makeup, why I hated Star Wars, why you should get some sleep before you have sex, and why there is no better motivation to a guy than knowing he's going to get laid within 72 hours

This week it's total chaos with my guests The Eclectic Genius, Darryl, Clay, and Brad. We scream and yell about lesbian sisters, a comparison between earlobes and balls, sexual innuendos, and other debaucherous topics

This week I talk about why I haven't done my Christmas shopping yet, the concept of "watching" a purse, why I didn't say happy birthday to my friend today, whining vegans and vegetarians, the Patriots, and why I won't see Star Wars on opening weekend

This week I talk about why patience is required when buying something new, no shave November hopefuls, the uselessness of daylight savings, ass cracks in public, an embarrssing moment I had while watching The Matian, and a social skill I'm terrible at

This week I talk about karma in the form of back pain, my brother getting violated, the creatures known as Tomboys, the protocol for leaving a football game safely, my encounter with Bill Cosby, and why people wear multiple Halloween costumes

This week I return from hiatus accompanied by Albert Roldan to talk about name changing, a construction wake up call, my bold statement about bras in the future, the benefits of being a handyman, water on Mars, and the creation of a fantasy football monster