The Kudou Lala Land Podcast

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Do you want a podcast that's about Japan and Japanese culture but is a little dark? Well look elsewhere, because this podcast is the most dark and disturbing part of a dark and disturbing society that some like to call home, others call Nihon, and others still just see as Porn Island. Join your two hosts Jesus and Michael (yeah seriously) as they take a comical and informative journey through the world of Japan through JAV. Yes, that's Japanese adult videos. This is a porn podcast. But it's funny, and it's focused on the greatest porn star to ever come out of Japan: Lala Kudou (工藤ララ). Yes, it's a porn review podcast where we watch and discuss a Lala Kudou video every week. We aren't doing anything illegal, but my God it feels like we are. The Kudou Lala Land Podcast with Michael and Jesus mines the blackest depths of humanity for nuggets of comedy gold. Join us as we dissect every video starring JAV idol Lala Kudou and learn more reasons why humanity was a mistake. Has Japanese porn gone too far? Is this the worst podcast idea on Earth? Should we be cancelled from the solar system? All of the above. You won't get an intelligent insight into the strange happenings in the JAV industry here, but you will hear two guys try to make each other laugh as they come to terms with how weird and disturbing JAV can be and try to figure out wtf they're watching? We're your guys. Adults only--very very much adults only.

Michael and Jesus


    • Mar 20, 2025 LATEST EPISODE
    • monthly NEW EPISODES
    • 1h 11m AVG DURATION
    • 48 EPISODES


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    Latest episodes from The Kudou Lala Land Podcast

    Emergency Episode: Waiting for Kudou

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 20, 2025 65:14


    Playbill > Playgirl > Playboy

    Emergency Episode: The Review Episode

    Play Episode Listen Later Jan 1, 2025 59:59


    We're taking this one from behind the paywall for all of our listeners to hear--enjoy the Kudou Lala Land Podcast Podcast et al. BTW, Zeno wanted us to keep going until we hit a full hour.

    45 Back to the Podcast

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 25, 2024 107:59


    We're back to the podcast with the Season Premiere of Season 2! Join Doc White and Marty McJesus on a brand new adventure through time! You'll shake and quiver with delight! Your hair will turn white with fear and fright! And you'll want to nuke the nation of Japan a third time for releasing even more horrific evil onto the world and indulging pedophiles! Join us as we go back…to the podcast! Fwosh fwooosh neeeeer vroooom vrooooom reeeeekkk pew pew pew brkkkkrkkkkkkk bewwwwwwwwwwwwwwoooom

    Emergency Episode: One Came Over the Kudou's Chest

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 4, 2024 36:21


    I saw the best minds of my generation destroyed by pornography,  dragging themselves through the japanese streets looking for an angry fix, angelheaded pedos burning for the ancient heavenly connection to the starry dynamo in the machinery of JAV, who poverty and tatters and hollow-eyed and high sat up fapping in the supernatural darkness of mother's-basement flats floating across the tops of tities contemplating lala   I'm with you in Osaka in my dreams you cum dripping from a fap-journey on the highway across Japan in tears to the door of my studio in the Eastern night

    Emergency Episode: For Lala's Ears Only

    Play Episode Listen Later May 8, 2024 42:03


    If you aren't Lala Kudou, don't listen to this episodou.

    42 Season 1 Finale - The Sequel

    Play Episode Listen Later Jan 3, 2024 142:01


    The real Lala Kudou was the friends we made along the way.

    41 The Penultimate Episode

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 30, 2023 62:37


    Love. True love. Hashtag no homo.           Email lalalandpod@tutanota.com Twitter @lalalandpod69.

    40 The Commentary Track

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 28, 2023 106:35


    Watchalong with us! Email lalalandpod@tutanota.com Twitter @lalalandpod69.

    39 Fucking Normies

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 20, 2023 87:43


    Skip ahead if you want to hear us talk about the video. Email lalalandpod@tutanota.com Twitter @lalalandpod69.

    38 The Moaning of the Lalas

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 14, 2023 68:38


    37 Christopher Lolan

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 6, 2023 57:17


    .skcus tsacdop sihT .namrednels namrednels namrednels Email lalalandpod@tutanota.com Twitter @lalalandpod69.

    lolan
    36 Softcore Sex Trafficking

    Play Episode Listen Later Nov 29, 2023 76:19


    35 The Lala Visitor

    Play Episode Listen Later Nov 22, 2023 82:37


    Jesus loves Jake Sisko it's his favorite fictional character of all time. Email lalalandpod@tutanota.com Twitter @lalalandpod69

    34 Yellow and Red

    Play Episode Listen Later Nov 15, 2023 75:59


    We will seize the means of semen production, cumrades. I'm so bad at writing these. And being funny. This is a cry for help. Yeah another one.    Email lalalandpod@tutanota.com Twitter @lalalandpod69.    We're back in the Lala Kudio studio togetherio up until episode 34io. Sound quality does suffer in some eps (but not all!) as a result of this in-person dance, but you know what? We had a lot of fun doing these episodes (well except one. One was really, really not fun), and this podcast is really too stupid, unfunny, and downright evil to deserve any listeners at all, so who cares?

    33 Boomer Fight

    Play Episode Listen Later Nov 8, 2023 121:09


    Penis size unremarkable Email lalalandpod@tutanota.com Twitter @lalalandpod69.    We're back in the Lala Kudio studio togetherio up until episode 34io. Sound quality does suffer in some eps (but not all!) as a result of this in-person dance, but you know what? We had a lot of fun doing these episodes (well except one. One was really, really not fun), and this podcast is really too stupid, unfunny, and downright evil to deserve any listeners at all, so who cares?

    32 Who Does Lala Kudou Work For

    Play Episode Listen Later Nov 1, 2023 50:03


    Are you ready to take a trip to swinging 142s Osaka? Yeah baby yeah this video is worse than anything we have done and it put us in a bad mood we could not make this funny I am so sorry don't listen next week is really good though I swear Email lalalandpod@tutanota.com Twitter @lalalandpod69.    We're back in the Lala Kudio studio togetherio up until episode 34io. Sound quality does suffer in some eps (but not all!) as a result of this in-person dance, but you know what? We had a lot of fun doing these episodes (well except one. One was really, really not fun), and this podcast is really too stupid, unfunny, and downright evil to deserve any listeners at all, so who cares?

    31 The Halloween Episode

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 25, 2023 51:13


    Boo   Email lalalandpod@tutanota.com Twitter @lalalandpod69.    We're back in the Lala Kudio studio togetherio up until episode 34io. Sound quality does suffer in some eps (but not all!) as a result of this in-person dance, but you know what? We had a lot of fun doing these episodes (well except one. One was really, really not fun), and this podcast is really too stupid, unfunny, and downright evil to deserve any listeners at all, so who cares?

    30 Carbonara Does Not Have Cream

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 18, 2023 71:53


    Andiamo al treno sulla piccolissima bellissima lolissima who kissima a lot when penissinmouth   Email lalalandpod@tutanota.com Twitter @lalalandpod69.    We're back in the Lala Kudio studio togetherio up until episode 34io. Sound quality does suffer in some eps (but not all!) as a result of this in-person dance, but you know what? We had a lot of fun doing these episodes (well except one. One was really, really not fun), and this podcast is really too stupid, unfunny, and downright evil to deserve any listeners at all, so who cares?  

    29 One Life to Live

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 11, 2023 62:25


    Michael finally grows up. Jesus still doesn't know to stay close enough to the mic, though (don't worry, sound improves a lot next episode)          Email lalalandpod@tutanota.com Twitter @lalalandpod69.     We're back in the Lala Kudio studio togetherio up until episode 34io. Sound quality does suffer in some eps (but not all!) as a result of this in-person dance, but you know what? We had a lot of fun doing these episodes (well except one. One was really, really not fun), and this podcast is really too stupid, unfunny, and downright evil to deserve any listeners at all, so who cares?

    28 A Podcast Episode

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 4, 2023 46:54


    Joke about episode theme.          Email lalalandpod@tutanota.com Twitter @lalalandpod69.    We're back in the Lala Kudio studio togetherio up until episode 34io. Sound quality does suffer in some eps (but not all!) as a result of this in-person dance, but you know what? We had a lot of fun doing these episodes (well except one. One was really, really not fun), and this podcast is really too stupid, unfunny, and downright evil to deserve any listeners at all, so who cares?

    27 We're Hooked on PCP

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 27, 2023 69:52


    Japan's most popular gameshow           Email lalalandpod@tutanota.com Twitter @lalalandpod69 We're back in the Lala Kudio studio togetherio up until episode 34io. Sound quality does suffer in some eps (but not all!) as a result of this in-person dance, but you know what? We had a lot of fun doing these episodes (well except one. One was really, really not fun), and this podcast is really too stupid, unfunny, and downright evil to deserve any listeners at all, so who cares?    

    26 Jesus Finally Saves

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 20, 2023 59:19


    "In the name of Lala, the Merciful, the Beneficent.In the name of Lala, the most beneficent, the most merciful. All that praises and thanks be to Lala, the Lady of the Asiatic. The most beneficent, the most merciful. The only owner of the day of recompense. You alone we worship, and you alone we ask for help. Guide us to the straight way… The way of those on whom you have bestoed your grace, not the way of those who earned your anger, nor of those who went astray. Praise be to the Lady of all worlds. Prayers and peace be upon our Prophet, Lala Kudou, her family and all of her companions. To the honorable Father, Mr. Kudou, Lala protect his grand piano. I ask that the Almighty Lala grants us all success in all that pleases Her and that She takes us all in. She is the Mistress of all and capable of such perversion. Lately, we call for praise to Lala, the Lady of all worlds. Prayers and peace be upon our Starlet, Lala, her family, and all of her companions. Peace be upon you with the mercy and blessings of Lala.          Email lalalandpod@tutanota.com Twitter @lalalandpod69"

    25 Lala's Revenge

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 13, 2023 69:29


    Club Lala is kind of like Club Penguin but it's a lot more...coooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooool          Email lalalandpod@tutanota.com Twitter @lalalandpod69

    24 Loli Invaders

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 7, 2023 65:57


    They have come (hehe) to take everything.          Email lalalandpod@tutanota.com Twitter @lalalandpod69

    23 The Loli King

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 30, 2023 68:46


    Lala is lost in a lalabyrinth of Flinstones date rape drugs and loli kings. Will she find her self esteem? Special Guest Star Racist Whitie          Email lalalandpod@tutanota.com Twitter @lalalandpod69

    22 A May December Romance

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 23, 2023 69:48


    There is no cumming in the brown zone. The white zone is for loading of semen and there is no cumming in a red zone.          Email lalalandpod@tutanota.com Twitter @lalalandpod69

    21 Lala Parties On

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 16, 2023 55:37


    In a very special episode of the Kudou Lala Land Podcast we finally figure out where this is all going--Heaven or H-E-Double-Hockey-Sticks.          Email lalalandpod@tutanota.com Twitter @lalalandpod69

    parties lala h e double hockey sticks
    20 Lala's Clues

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 9, 2023 68:06


    Would you rather see Lala Kudou's little blue dog or tiny pink pussy?          Email lalalandpod@tutanota.com Twitter @lalalandpod69

    19 The Pampered Pet

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 2, 2023 80:23


    Trap/Neuter/Release, known as TNR, is a vital ingredient in the overall practice of managing our pet population. Be sure to have your cat or dog spayed or neutered, and please give to your local animal shelter or charity if you can. We should all take good care of our pets, and love all the animals in the world. Oh, and we should go vegan, but really we need to stop having kids. Okay let's say you're vegan, right, and you have one child who is not vegan--well guess what? Not only did you cause the deaths of more animals than a childless meat-eater because of the longer lifespan. your kid has, but think of all the animals all of your kids' kids and their kids etc. and so on will eat. Having children is truly the most immoral thing you can do on this planet.          Email lalalandpod@tutanota.com Twitter @lalalandpod69

    18 RIP Robin Williams

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 26, 2023 77:19


    No loud explosions please. No fireworks, no sudden movements, no yelling. PTSD is a serious disorder that afflicts millions. If you have a Vietnam Vet in your family, maybe ask them why they moved to Asia to practice medicine? Oh, lolis. They moved for the lolis.          Email lalalandpod@tutanota.com Twitter @lalalandpod69

    ptsd vietnam vets rip robin williams
    17 Viscous Onsen

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 19, 2023 76:54


    In an attempt to end their sinful ways, Jesus takes a trip to Osaka to bring the (MS) Word and maybe convince them to stop raping kids. It doesn't end well.          Email lalalandpod@tutanota.com Twitter @lalalandpod69

    16 The Shortstop

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 12, 2023 77:06


    This episode sucks we should've rerecorded it          Email lalalandpod@tutanota.com Twitter @lalalandpod69

    15 They're Eighteen Your Honor

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 5, 2023 99:54


    The title is a lie. They're actually over 18. And they definitely look over 18. Email lalalandpod@tutanota.com Twitter @lalalandpod69

    14 Lala Please Stop

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 28, 2023 93:06


    13 Chainsmoking Child

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 21, 2023 89:29


    I legit don't know how to write a description that doesn't have spoilers. Someone dies in this episode. But don't worry; he won't be missed. We also do a deep, deep dive into Lala Kudou's...height. What we uncover will totally blow your mind as we DESTROY Lala Kudou with FACTS and LOGIC instead of the TWO MASSIVE COCKS that usually tend to DESTROY Lala Kudou when she's filming porn. Email lalalandpod@tutanota.com Twitter @lalalandpod69

    12 Lala in Space

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 14, 2023 67:41


    Lala is in spaaaaaace! We go deep, we go meta, and we go where I have never gone before but really want to. Jesus really liked the song in this one. The second one. The first one sucks really fucking bad lol Email lalalandpod@tutanota.com Twitter @lalalandpod69

    11 Mischevious Angel

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 7, 2023 113:38


    1.1 Two Idiots Fail to Make a Podcast

    Play Episode Listen Later May 31, 2023 45:25


    10 Hooked on Lala

    Play Episode Listen Later May 24, 2023 70:34


    I'm hoooooked on a feeeeeeeling bah bah bah bahbah hoooooked on a feeling....oh I can't imagine being hooked on THAT feeling. Email lalalandpod@tutanota.com Twitter @lalalandpod69

    9 Hashtag Woke

    Play Episode Listen Later May 17, 2023 82:29


    Black Lives Matter. Email lalalandpod@tutanota.com Twitter @lalalandpod69

    8 Freak on a Loli-eash

    Play Episode Listen Later May 10, 2023 61:38


    This one is really fucked up. Unlike Lala, who's just fucked. And us, who just want to fucking kill ourselves. Email lalalandpod@tutanota.com Twitter @lalalandpod69

    7 Pussy in the Studio

    Play Episode Listen Later May 3, 2023 43:36


    6 Everybody Helps Sometimes

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 26, 2023 56:19


    5 Lala Does the MCU

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 19, 2023 45:53


    We finally reveal Darth Vader--oops, wrong podcast, sorry. This is the one where Lala pegs a guy. A lot. And likes it. A lot. So do we! Um, not to each other. Like, we're totes not gay, man, who even said that? Not that there's anything wrong with that. You gotta listen to this one, seriously, it's even better than episode 2. And I promise sound quality skyrockets at ep 6 (and it really becomes like professional quality at ep 11). Wait, how do I know this? We banked podcast episodes in advance and I'm writing this long after this got published? Nah, time travel fuckery makes more sense.   Email lalalandpod@tutanota.com Twitter @lalalandpod69

    4 Jesus Loves Cookies

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 12, 2023 85:23


    3 The Shinzo Abe Special

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 5, 2023 58:51


    2 The Greatest Actor in JAV

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 29, 2023 43:41


    Okay so like in this one I totally blow Jesus's mind with a peak into my past and what I was up to before Interpol put out their red notice. Oh, and Lala has lesbian sex, so there's that too. Email lalalandpod@tutanota.com Twitter @lalalandpod69

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