Back to Reality

The B2R gang is joined by special guests Carrie Krieger and her adorable Pug, BUTTERS, to review Season 1 Episode 1 of The Great British Baking Show! We were all so sedated by the peaceful, sugar-filled, friendship-orgy of the kitchen tent that we kinda forgot to take notes. Join us as we try to figure out what all of these english terms mean and why they have so many damn types of cake! Paul Hollywood has a vision board.

For this raucous not-so-minisode, the gang is joined by long-time friend and amateur bar scientist, Michael Watson to watch Season 3 Episode 1 of BAR RESCUE: “Turtle on it’s Back”. Get ready for $15 cocktails with 3/4oz of alcohol in them, and insanely loud John Taffer impressions We had to bleep out Jordan’s Parents’ names like four times…

It's our first mid-season minisode where we will be inviting special guests to tell us all about their favorite reality TV shows! Join us as we talk with Langston (A.K.A. Jordan's roommate) about the pilot episode of fear factor. It's a wild ride full of blood, rat excrement, cocoa butter, and lube. Alex can't name any part of a car.

It’s been a real rollercoaster ride, but here we are! As Shania Twain always says, “Looks like we made it,” to the season finale of Survivor Borneo: ‘The Final Four.’ Join us as we watch the contestants go head to head in a lame quiz game, a knock-off Tony Robbins retreat, and the trial scene from To Kill a Mockingbird. $1,000,000 may be on the line, but do you know what the best prize is of all? Friendship. And a Pontiac Aztec. Sue thinks she's a lawyer.

Let Sean’s prophesized BLOODBATH™ begin, as we watch Survivor, Season 1 Episode 12: ‘Death of an Alliance.’ For some reason, Jordan thinks he knows a lot about headhunting rituals (weird…) and Kelly dominates the game by playing in the mud and doing a bad Blair Witch parody. Johnny, tell’er what she’s won! An unseasoned pasta dinner and an ice-cold Bud Light at the local Borneo watering hole. Rudy doesn’t know…

Apologies in advance… Alex doesn’t know who Ricardo Montalban is, or what in God’s name he has to do with Survivor, Season 1 Episode 11: ‘Long Hard Days.’ Sean’s Father goes undercover as the Skipper of an anchored yacht, Richard sings so hard he literally knocks himself over, and Colleen has fleas. Also, for some reason, no one is able to jump off of the Sea-Doo without doing a face plant! KHAAAAAAAAAAAN!

Jordan manages to stop picking at low hanging fruit just long enough to watch Survivor, Season 1 Episode 10: ‘Crack in the Alliance.’ Sean regrets his life decisions (shocker…), Gervase has a baby boy, and Rudy has a few ideas about child rearing vis-a-vis Sparing the Rod. Alex has been blessed by the Pope!

Welcome to a special MUPPETS EDITION of Back to Reality! Jordan manages to stop talking about the time he got to look into the eyes to Taylor Kitsch just long enough to review Survivor, Season 1 Episode 9: ‘Old and New Bonds.’ Cracks appear in the Coleen’s cool exterior, Jenna gets to chow down on a kabab while reading a letter from her kids, and Rich spends his birthday in a very special suit. Jeff Probst shows us his carrot.

Join amateur economists Jordan and Alex as they try to figure out what the hell game theory is, and what it has to do with Survivor, Season 1 Episode 8: ‘Thy Name is Duplicity.’ Jenna’s sad archery pulls at our heartstrings, Sue’s dog is very uninterested, and a beautiful bromance blinks in and out of existence with the white hot intensity of Richard’s sock-tan lines. Jeff Probst is by a tree.

Special guest Alanis Morissette joins us this week as we watch Survivor Season 1 Episode 7: ‘The Merger’. Gretchen is in a funk that can only be remedied with Richard’s baby blues. Sean and Jenna go on a romantic date that is sadly lacking in machetes, and Greg feels like Ms. America. Will the new Ratana tribe be a Borneo paradise, or a Pagong slaughterhouse? Stay tuned to find out! Mr. Rodgers… The man can wear a sweater.

Get ready for a bovine-pun filled episode as we watch Survivor, Season 1 Episode 6: ‘Udder Revenge.’ The survivors are on the verge of the merge. Rich eats dog food. Gervase makes a sexist remark comparing women to cows. Also… Alex decides to call out the Bros of Rogan-Nation (@ her mother effers!) Jeff Probst had is roots done.

Special guest Tammy Taylor joins us this week for an in depth look at Survivor Season 1 Episode 5: ‘Pulling Your Own Weight.” And speaking of weight, Dirk is losing a lot… Sean’s comedy sitcom pilot gets picked up for syndication, and Sue attempts to “Dog” some guy on national television. Not sure what that means, but we sure love the enthusiasm. Almost as much as we love to Curb it. Get it? Like ‘Curb Your Enthusiasm’… Jeff Probst has beautiful arms. **DISCLAIMER** Due to some technical issues, Jordan’s audio is a little bit fuzzy.

This week we watched season 1 episode 4 of Survivor: “Too Little, Too Late.” We also dive deep into the hidden meaning behind the Russian folk song that served as the inspiration for Survivors theme song, “Ancient Voices.” Turns out it was a Gay Fantasia the whole time! Target lady rears her ugly bob, and Jeff Probst is a Daddy. Cowabunga Y’all!

This week we discuss the global epidemic of overfishing, and how one man (Sean) and one pole (Super Pole 2000) weren't willing to give up so easily. Also we think that Sue must really love bumper stickers. Jeff Probst is a God

Our obsession with Jeff Probst continues as we watch Survivor season 1 episode 2: “The Generation Gap.” When we aren’t too distracted by Jeff’s glowing tan, we discuss Y2K, the merits of poutine, and a couple of real American heroes.

It's our pilot episode!  For our first season, we will be watching 'Survivor' season 1.  Jeff Probst and a bunch of stupid Americans are taking over Borneo for 39 days and we will be there every step of the way.  Jeff is a golden god.  That's mostly what this episode is about.  We talk about other stuff too, but not much...