Books You Didn't Know You Needed To Hear

This platform has given me a nosebleed. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/pewbooks/message

I debated on publishing this episode because these chapters were short, but I figured if I'm going to get into the habit of doing this I should throw this episode out despite it being short. Honestly, I could have read more chapters, but I didn't. Plus y'all got two episodes the other week. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/pewbooks/message

I'm so tired, I can't remember what I just read so I don't have anything to put here except: this episode has a bonus broadcast. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/pewbooks/message

This week, you get a twofer because I had this one recorded but took a nap instead of posting it. Several naps, actually. Several naps interrupted by periods of being awake and having to function on not a whole lot of sleep. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/pewbooks/message

I added a sound effect; let me know what you think. I wanted it to sound like skipping through radio stations before finding Night Vale Community Radio. The chapter starts in the middle of Cecil saying something and I wasn't quite sure how to convey that. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/pewbooks/message

KING CITY, Jackie, Diane. Also, where *is* Dawn? And...Evan...? Plus, a bonus chapter containing a broadcast from the community radio. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/pewbooks/message

Chapters 1 & 2 Welcome. Enjoy your stay. You live here now. You have always lived here. Why would you think you've ever lived anywhere else? That's just silly. Word to the wise: maybe just listen to the story instead of being in it, you probably don't want to be in the story, it's probably safer if you're not. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/pewbooks/message

I'm pretty sure reading/distributing this book in any way, shape, or form without permission is punishable by death. Or is it fines? Or is it a stern talking to? I can never remember. I think ingesting it while knowing that no permission was given is punishable by the removal of a molar. Don't quote me on that one. To heck with it, let's be rebels and do it anyway. I think maybe doing this for free might let us off the hook. Whatever. I won't tell, if you don't. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/pewbooks/message

Just listen --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/pewbooks/message

At Shaston. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/pewbooks/message

This is the last we'll see of Melchester, as Mr. Thomas Hardy decided to end part 3 here. Maybe a change of scenery will be good for Jude. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/pewbooks/message

Jude just can't seem to catch a break. Poor guy. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/pewbooks/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/pewbooks/support

Firstly, I'm sorry for the slow descent into "congested nose sound". I have allergies, don't judge me. Secondly, Mr. Phillotson becomes more than just a tertiary character! Good job, Mr. Phillotson. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/pewbooks/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/pewbooks/support

Firstly, my dog decided to add some sound effects; her tail and collar tags make an appearance. Secondly, "professeth". G'head, say it out loud. Now say it without looking at it. Now put it in a biblical quote and say the whole thing. This has to be one of the worst words I've ever had the misfortune to meet. After saying it five times, each time getting exponentially worse, I gave up. It is now "profess". And "professeth" can go right back to the bowels of hell from whence it came! --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/pewbooks/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/pewbooks/support

Part Third: At Melchester --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/pewbooks/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/pewbooks/support

At this point, I think Mr. Thomas Hardy was just showing off. There are three chunks of Latin quotes in this chapter; given the time in which this book was written, I highly doubt most people understood Latin and let's be honest, even now most people don't understand Latin. I'm hoping most of you don't speak it because I absolutely did not look up how to pronounce any of it; I decided to wing it and hope for the best. With help from the internet, I translated those quotes and they are as follows: "I believe in one God, the Father Almighty, Maker of heaven and earth, of all things visible and invisible." "He was also crucified for us: he suffered under Pontius Pilate, and was buried. And he rose again on the third day, according to the Scriptures." "And unto the Holy Spirit, the Lord and the Giver of Life, who proceeds from the Father and the Son. Who is worshipped and glorified together with the Father and the Son. Who spoke through the prophets. And one Catholic and Apostolic church. I confess one baptism for the remission of sins. And I await the resurrection of the dead. And the life of the world to come. Amen" --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/pewbooks/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/pewbooks/support

This is only one chapter because it's so long. The episode was recorded in several different locations. You'll probably notice the different audio quality. And a door closing, you'll definitely notice the door closing. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/pewbooks/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/pewbooks/support

I am pretty sure Mr. Hardy made up the word 'erotolepsy'. According to Wiki, it was first used in this book. Apparently it means a combination of "love-seizure" and "sexual recklessness". Hats off to Mr. Hardy for making up a word that is etymologically correct. I can't remember what else I was going to say. It's 0354 (at time of posting), so donate money for coffee. I need coffee. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/pewbooks/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/pewbooks/support

Look, we've established that I don't speak Latin or Greek, which brings me to my next point: consistency is key when writing. If a person starts off using the Greek alphabet, they should continue to do so; this is especially important when said individual also uses the English alphabet for another (non-English) language. A person should not translate the Greek alphabet into the English one without warning and proceed to write a few quotes. I was in the process of translating the Latin to English, when Google said, "nope, that's Greek". Despite being in the "great beyond", I hope Mr. Hardy heard me screaming at him. Not cool, bro. I ended up pronouncing the Greek as Latin. I'm sure it sounds terrible either way. It is what it is because it's too late to fix it. According to Google translate, this is what they say in English: "All hemin heis Theos ho Pater, ex hou ta panta, kai hemeis eis auton" - "but here you have God, my Father, above all things, and you belong to them" "Kai heis Kurios Iesous Christos, di hou ta panta kai hemeis di autou" - "and you have Lord Jesus Christ, you have everything and you have through him" --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/pewbooks/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/pewbooks/support

This episode only gets one chapter because I think most people will zone out after the first two minutes and that doesn't bode well for anything after that. However, the reason this chapter is important is because it gives you a better sense of Jude's personality. You might want to pay attention, but if you don't, I won't judge you for it. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/pewbooks/message

*Disclaimer* In chapter 10, there is a description of butchering an animal for food. It is not overtly graphic, just uncomfortable. It starts at 15:17 and ends at 20:12. The discussion of the actual deed however, starts at the beginning of chapter 10; so if you don't want to hear any of it, skip to 20:12. A brief summary: the butcher doesn't arrive on time and Arabella gets impatient and asks Jude to do it. Jude does it in a way which he thinks is humane, Arabella yells at him for "botching" the job and making the meat worth less money. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/pewbooks/message

Looook, I don't speak Greek. I did my best okay?! Also, that accent happened and I'm sorry. I don't know what it's supposed to be but it's too late to do anything about it. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/pewbooks/message

This episode brought to you by: "oh carp, it's Tuesday innit?!" In conjunction with a numb arm due to sitting in an awkward position. Special guest appearance: faltering voice acting because I couldn't make up my mind and then I got confused. Enjoy. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/pewbooks/message

I hope your ear holes aren't too offended by my stumbling over words, mispronunciations, and perpetually changing how I pronounce names and places. Oh, and occasionally skipping words in sentences. As I said before, I won't be editing this, so, uh, deal with it. Or don't. I'm not here to tell you how to live your life. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/pewbooks/message

A note, a preface, and Thomas Hardy's postscript. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/pewbooks/message

Hello friends. Long story short, well just listen to this announcement. Thanks. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/pewbooks/message

Another interview! I had a lovely conversation with Steve Braker about his books and life on the coast of East Africa. His books feature William Brody, a former military man just trying to find some peace but somehow finds trouble instead. Even if you don't normally read action/adventure books, I think you'll really enjoy these. Check out his website and find him on social media: https://stevebrakerbooks.com https://www.facebook.com/AfricanOceanAdventures/ https://www.instagram.com/africanoceanadventures/ --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/pewbooks/message

Okay, look, this has proven to be a difficult undertaking. I'm doing my best. On that note, in this episode, I interviewed Sam Thiara, author of Lost and Found: Seeking the Past and Finding Myself. It's a fantastic book and a definite must read, especially if you are struggling with defining yourself and your cultural heritage in this sea of ever-growing efforts to embrace, discover, and defend one's place in this crazy and confusing time we live in. I hope you enjoy listening to our conversation and that you even learn a little something. Below are a few links where you can find more information: http://www.sam-thiara.com/ https://ca.linkedin.com/in/sthiara --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/pewbooks/message

As per usual, I'm a disorganized mess but this episode is not! I had the pleasure of interviewing David Carter. We talk about his books, pets, and whether or not all dogs (animals in this case) go to heaven. His recently published book, The Rat Reverend Clancy and the Seven Sacraments, is a fun but also insightful read. You can find more information at his website: https://davidlcarter.wixsite.com/mysite --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/pewbooks/message

In this episode, I'm interviewing Stephen Murray, author of the most recently published, Discreetly Yours. I really hope you enjoy this as it will be the first of many interviews. Where to find him: www.authorstephenmurray.com www.authorsden.com/stephenmurray www.discreetlyyours.net www.thechapelofeternallove.com www.murderaboardtheqe2.com Yes, I will still be reading out loud, but this being a podcast revolving around books, I would be remiss if I didn't include interviews with authors. I suppose you could consider these episodes, Books You Didn't Know You Needed To Hear About. I plan on putting interviews between books because no one likes to be interrupted when they're reading. Technically, you're not reading them, I am, but that's not the point! --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/pewbooks/message

That was a wild ride, yeah? I hope you enjoyed listening as much as I enjoyed reading it to you. I cannot thank Robert Rankin enough for letting me read his book! Thank you all for sticking with me through this disorganized insanity. I really appreciate it. https://www.facebook.com/robertrankin - to continue your journey into the universe that is Far-Fetched Fiction (see what he's been up to, purchase books, and learn the secrets of the sprouts) http://www.sproutlore.com/dada/ - to listen to The Da Da De Da Da Code -The Album I've got some interviews with authors coming up so stay tuned for more disorganized insanity! --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/pewbooks/message

Today's episode has been provided in part by: "was this supposed to get published last week or this week?" That phrase ("provided in part by") has always confused me, mostly because they never say who provided the other part. To put your mind at ease, I'll tell you who provided the other part of this episode: "wait, what day is it?" For some reason, I habitually lose a day during my week. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/pewbooks/message

In light of the tragic events in Afghanistan, I cannot help but draw certain parallels from these chapters because I feel as though the overall subject being discussed in them continues to reflect many people's sentiment to this day. I believe, although I cannot say for certain, that the subject matter in these chapters as well as the stereotypes, were the author's attempt to point out how unaffected people could casually dismiss the people of those countries and the hardships they were (and still are) facing. Or he could have been creating a wildly ludicrous situation (inspired by the events of that year) that fit the insanity of the plot, he is, after all, the world's leading exponent of far fetched fiction. It is also quite possible that he was having writer's block, fell asleep during tea time, and Barry the Time Sprout whispered these chapters, along with the remainder of the book, to him. So, I ask you to please keep in mind that this book was published during a time when attitudes and understandings were much different then they are today. I'm trying not to spoil the ending, so all I can say is the remainder of the book should not be judged based on these chapters. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/pewbooks/message

Guys, guess what?! It's here. It's Wednesday and the episode is here. Audio provided by a large, empty lobby in conjunction with an air conditioner and a squeaky chair. Editing brought to you by Audacity (no, seriously that's the name of the new software I'm using). --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/pewbooks/message

See, what ha-happened was... I had to re-edit this episode five, yes FIVE times. There were some serious issues with the program I was using. After the first two times, I had to take a break because I was getting really angry; repeat for the following two times. I had decided that if the fifth time didn't work, I was just going to post it completely unedited (burps, long pauses, weird mouth noises, dysfunctional pronunciations, and all) because I hated everything; I didn't want to finish doing this, but I cannot leave a book unread! So, I found a different software to edit with and TA-FREAKING-DA, it worked! Here are the long awaited chapters. FYI energy drinks do not solve dry-mouth noises and the new software is weird. Special thanks to me. That's right, thank you me for not throwing my laptop across the room and for seeing this episode through. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/pewbooks/message

Sorry for the release delay. I'm currently dealing with stuffs of a personal nature. But here it is, finally, in all of its amateurly created glory! --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/pewbooks/message

*I am terribly sorry that the end of chapter 33 got cut off. I went through and fixed it on the last episode, but I have also added it to the beginning of this one.* This episode has been brought to you a day late because of the holiday. And not at all because I got caught up in a really good podcast and spent the last three days binging it. Nope. It's absolutely late because of the holiday. Editing and audio have provided. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/pewbooks/message

This episode has been brought to you. Editing has been provided. Audio is included. Tell your earholes I said, "you're welcome." --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/pewbooks/message

This episode has been brought to you by many distractions. The audio for chapter 28 was brought to you by a large, empty lobby; chapters 29 and 30 were brought to you by a comfortable couch, sitting in an uncomfortable position upon said comfortable couch, and the occasional sleep sounds of my dog. Editing was provided by different rooms in conjunction with a different dog demanding belly rubs no matter where I was or what I was doing. Special thanks to the dude on Tiktok who chose to post his "squeshly freezed orange juice" brain malfunction for the entire internet to enjoy. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/pewbooks/message

This episode is the bane of my existence; I've had a perpetual migraine from the moment I started editing it. And re-editing it. And starting over. And editing it. And re-editing it. Over and over and over.... I don't want to talk about it. I hope this works. If not, I'll start this episode from scratch. Or write a strongly worded letter to the creator of the website I'm using. Or murder someone, for legal reasons, that's a joke; what isn't a joke is my intense dislike for the dysfunctionality of editing this episode. I don't want to talk about it. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/pewbooks/message

The lateness of this episode has been brought to you by technical difficulties in conjunction with threats of a violent nature to the laptop. Audio was provided, in part, by an awkward sitting position and tummy rumbling. Editing was created by, I'm so over this, and the realization that the internet connection works poorly between the hours of 1a and 4:30a. If someone could explain that phenomena to me, it would be much appreciated. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/pewbooks/message

This episode has been brought to you by a mystery in association with questions such as, "why is my computer so slow", "is there something wrong with the internet connection", and "which technical bits are the ones causing me technical difficulties". So, basically, technical difficulties with the only mystery being how to fix the problem. Audio was provided in part by: a loud airplane, an even louder heating vent, and the shuffling of blankets. Editing was provided by excessive annoyance, stress, and a slew of curse words. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/pewbooks/message

This episode release can be considered either early or late, depending on how you look at it. Thanks for your patience; we will return to our irregularly programmed schedule this week. Audio for this episode was provided by a bedroom and includes perfectly timed snores from my dog (between you and me, I think she did it on purpose). Editing was done by willpower with assistance from intermittent naps, ibuprofen, and my couch. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/pewbooks/message

I'll make it up to you guys. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/pewbooks/message

Please note: 'PC' means police constable and 'Taken With Out Consent' is spelled as TWOCed/TWOCing/etc This episode was brought to you by incredibly poor planning in conjunction with shoddy internet connection and too much stress. Audio was presented to you by a work in progress pillow fort. Editing was created by mass amounts of frustration with assistance from various kitchen surfaces (none of which happened to be a table). Special thanks to celery and peanut butter. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/pewbooks/message

FYI it is the Air Loom Gang, not the heirloom gang. What an absurd name, heirloom gang, no one would take them seriously; but the Air Loom Gang, now that's a name that means serious business! This episode has been brought to you by better time management. Audio includes dog snores, a rather loud tummy rumble, and some rude birds. Editing was done by a weird sitting position, in association with a numb bum and left leg. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/pewbooks/message

This episode is brought to you by loosing track of time in association with, never knowing what day it is. Audio is courtesy of a large, empty lobby; also including speaking directly into the mic on the phone instead of using a headset. Editing was created by distractions with the help of people being loud, and someone replacing a doorknob. Special thanks to my will power, you know what you did. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/pewbooks/message

Chapter 6 (page 32) references a very specific character from a very specific book written by Ken Kesey in 1962. A reimagining of the title of that very specific book can be found in Chapter 2 (on page 9). This episode is courtesy of an untimely fashion, in association with an accidental deletion. Audio for this episode was created by: 4x5 foot bathroom, with additional help from a heating vent. Editing for this episode was provided by: a slight hangover in conjunction with sleep deprivation. Special thanks to a specific brand of coffee. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/pewbooks/message

About the book: Johnny Hooker has been picked as a WINNER! and all he has to do to claim his prize is to solve the Da-da-de-da-da Code. Johnny knows that beat; it always turns up in popular music - like 'Waltzing Matilda', or the National Anthem. And it has something to do with the Devil's Chord. And with Robert Johnson, who sold his soul to the Devil, and whose blues influenced a generation of musicians. And it definitely has something to do with Elvis, who is still alive and rocking (of course). And when he solves the Da-da-de-da-da Code, Johnny will also discover why all the most famous rock musicians die aged twenty-seven, the truth about raising an ancient god, and the destruction of the world. It's right there in the music. So all Johnny has to do is crack the code. Before he dies on Monday. Da-da-de-da-da Album: Robert Rankin (the world's leading exponent of far fetched fiction) was kind enough to provide his readers with a soundtrack to accompany his book. It can be downloaded, free of charge, at http://www.sproutlore.com/dada You can also follow him on Facebook. 10/10 would recommend. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/pewbooks/message

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Everything you need to know about this podcast. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/pewbooks/message