Efab? Who you talking to?

I love the idea of “love” and I love “love” for other people. It’s such a magical, beautiful thing to see and bear witness to in your loved one’s lives. I also know that I am capable of an amazing love deep down in my soul. There is no doubt in my mind or heart that I was at some point very tender, caring, and attentive to my past partners. Historically though, I keep giving my magnanimous love to the wrong people. So for me, love hurts, it is scary, and it has scarred me. --> There is nothing wrong in admitting that love hasn't been as smooth for me as finite math or AP Physics. LOL!! --> This podcast is related to this blog post --> https://efabuloushb.wordpress.com/2020/12/27/dont-let-your-heart-wake-up/ --> Go check it out and tell me what you think. As always follow me online at EfabulousHB.com or on FB / Twitter / IG --> @EfabulousHB ---> PS, I use colorful language allllllllll the time. Soz.

I wanted to grow up so bad. Why? Being an adult means you are constantly putting out fires. You are constantly writing emails to advocate for fair treatment, fair pay, fair healthcare, etc… Adulting is hard. Why the hell didn’t someone warn me like 75 times? Do not get me wrong. I'm not telling kids and wayward young adults not to grow up. PLEASE DO GROW UP AND BE AN ADULT THAT STANDS ACCOUNTABLE FOR YOUR ACTIONS. We need more accountable adults in the world. However, hitherto, and forthwith ... adulting is hard and it causes me to overthinking everything. Especially as a parent. My next move, always has to be my best move. ... and boy have I made some mistakes finding that wisdom. This podcast is related to this blog post --> read it here --> https://efabuloushb.wordpress.com/2021/02/24/adulting-is-a-hustle/ --> As always follow me online at EfabulousHB.com or on FB / Twitter / IG --> @EfabulousHB ---> PS, I use colorful language allllllllll the time. Soz.

Growing up in Chicago, sometimes you experienced colorism and texturism inside your family. Yet when you went outside of the home and when you looked at American television, you experienced colorism, racism, texturism, and featurism 24/7. This episode just unpacks some of the things that I had to unlearn. I want Black American to know that we are beautiful. Bar None. Our beauty, talent, and humanity takes away nothing from any other ethnicity, creed or race. We have every right to celebrate, adore, exalt, and enjoy who we are -- as God made us. This podcast episode is related to this blog post: https://efabuloushb.wordpress.com/2020/12/28/being-black-american-and-feeling-beautiful/ --> Go check it out and tell me what you think. As always follow me online at EfabulousHB.com or on FB / Twitter / IG --> @EfabulousHB ---> PS, I use colorful language allllllllll the time. Soz.

First of all, Happy New Year. I hope you are well. Thanks for being in this space with me. I appreciate you. Let’s get right to it. For those sadistic little golden monkeys spewing the “if you didn’t hustle harder in 2020, the hustle ain’t in you” rhetoric, I have 3 words for you.. EAT A [BLEEP]. Do you know that people lost family members in 2020? Fathers, Mothers, Brothers, Cousins, Husbands, Wives, Children. They lost big. We all experienced collective trauma due to the virus itself, isolation, and the astounding ineptitude of the government. Hustle? When? We were trying to survive. -- this podcast is related to the following blog post --> https://efabuloushb.wordpress.com/2021/01/03/hustle-harder-bs/ -- Go check it out and tell me what you think. As always follow me online at EfabulousHB.com or on FB / Twitter / IG --> @EfabulousHB ---> PS, I use colorful language allllllllll the time. Soz.

My last podcast episode was on October 16, 2020. The last quarter of 2020, a part of me "tapped out". I had enough creative energy for the #photoadaychallenge #cherisheveryday365 project on Instagram. ( You can visit me at https://www.instagram.com/efabuloushb/ ) I did not write much on my blog. I was suspended in air just navigating my way through health challenges, the pandemic, parenting, and I had some personal things I was mulling over. There were moments of absolute joy and happiness in that quarter. It wasn't all bad, but the motivation to talk to myself in a microphone was not there. Oooooh, but I'm back at it. I'd like to think what I'm saying is important. Perhaps it is not. Perhaps it is, just to me. I don't know, but I found my motivation - FOR NOW. Don't know how long this creative or creating streak will last. Let's pray that it does. As always follow me online at EfabulousHB.com or on FB / Twitter / IG --> @EfabulousHB ---> PS, I use colorful language allllllllll the time. Soz.

So now, in 2020, year of the Murder Hornets and COVID19, I am faced with a huge health challenge. And all I want to do is RUN AWAY. I want to scoop up my kid, my dogs, pack some shit and run. As a Black American Woman, there is NO WHERE ON THIS EARTH TO RUN TO WHERE I COULD POSSIBLY BE SAFE. Read my related blog post to this podcast episode here:  https://efabuloushb.wordpress.com/2020/10/05/when-you-can-no-longer-run --> Follow me online at EfabulousHB.com or on FB / Twitter / IG --> @EfabulousHB  ---> PS, I use colorful language allllllllll the time. Soz.

What I found so magnificent (for me) during my 30th year virtual high school reunion is that I started to humanize my classmates in a way that garnered more empathy and due care. They were no longer names ingrained in my traumatic teenage tactile memories. They were Mothers, Fathers, cancer survivors, teachers, Reverends, activists, and for those who were close to me, I realized they were my surrogate family. Read more about my musing of 30 years gone by at: https://efabuloushb.wordpress.com/2020/09/06/thirty-years-ago-i-graduated-high-school/ --> Follow me online at EfabulousHB.com or on FB / Twitter / IG --> @EfabulousHB ---> PS, I use colorful language allllllllll the time. Soz.

I do NOT want to hear anything anyone has to say anymore. All the talking heads, subject matter experts, and gurus are endless. They are also full of shit. Life is hard for us working class Black American folks. Toxic positivity isn’t going to magically solve our oppression or ease the weathering from endless white and POC anti-Black microaggressions at work, in our schools, and within the country’s biased healthcare system. Life is arduous enough and for a Black American parent raising their child in the age of MegaRacism, Voltron, and COVID19, we are saddled with never ending worry. You can read the entire blog post at: https://efabuloushb.wordpress.com/2020/08/09/meh-moments/ --> Follow me online at EfabulousHB.com or on FB / Twitter / IG --> @EfabulousHB ---> PS, I use colorful language allllllllll the time. Soz.

As I laughed with my Auntie Shirley, I mentioned how Black Americans have been suffering over 400+ years of employment, medical, social, fiscal and educational apartheid. I mentioned how it used to hurt me so much when my Mother used to look at the scars from picking cotton that were ingrained in her hands and burst out in tears. She some times would cry and cry and cry into the night. Just looking at her hands triggered some very hurtful memories. As we talked, my Auntie said something that literally brought me to tears, “they used to pull us off the school bus and make us pick cotton”. And just like that, I was quietly balling on the other end of the phone. I didn’t let her know I was crying, but that cut me deep. You can read more about my Mother's story over on my blog at: https://efabuloushb.wordpress.com/2020/07/23/they-pulled-my-momma-off-the-school-bus-to-pick-cotton/ --> Follow me online at EfabulousHB.com or on FB / Twitter / IG --> @EfabulousHB ---> PS, I use colorful language allllllllll the time. Soz.

For the last half of the year, I’ve experienced a huge CREATIVE BLOCK. I’ve also questioned what I’m doing in the blogger-space. At this time I find it arduous to get lucrative opportunities as a Black Mom Blogger. Perhaps it is because I’m not one of the social archetypes set aside to limit the humanity of Black women. In this episode, I'm musing about why I have creative block. However, you can also read about on my blog: https://efabuloushb.wordpress.com/2019/12/11/creative-block-and-being-a-black-mom-blogger/ --- Let's pray that I get my mojo back. Right now in this quarantine. It inconsistently ebbs and flows. Follow me online at EfabulousHB.com or on FB / Twitter / IG --> @EfabulousHB ---> PS, I use colorful language allllllllll the time. Soz.

Growing up with food boxes in the 80s, I was subjected to a vast amount of Thomas' English Muffins. I loathe them. I do.

I have been paralyzed by the pandemic, stress and Black American suffering. It had a serious creative block. ...but I am slowly bouncing back.

I am continuing my discussion about what it means to be a working class, Black American parent in a country that still treats you like 3/5th of a person. This podcast is in conjunction with my blog post titled "Every time..." over at www.EfabulousHB.com. For those Black parents out there, if this resonates with you, please send me your feedback at Efab@Efabuloushb.com ---> thanks for listening.

#podcastblackout

It is just my humble opinion that if you aren't having a discourse rooted in historical fact and data, then there is really no authentic progress being made. You're engaging in social banter that yields no solidarity or even a social education that challenges people to unpack their own Anti-Blackness or their contributions to systemic racism against Black Americans. Read more via my blog: https://efabuloushb.wordpress.com/2020/05/09/dismantle-racism

I dedicate this short episode to my Momma. I miss her. I didn't fully appreciate her resilience, moxie, empathy, and love until I became a Mother. #MothersDay2020

In the evenings, between the time I put up the dogs for bed and when my Future CEO is ready to be tucked in, I cave into the stress of internal worry about the pandemic. #COVID19 #Weathering #Stress #BlackMothers... Read more at www.Efabuloushb.com

This is me, briefly, talking through my feelings about how COVID19 has spread through my hometown of #Chicago. This is not a game. Stop playing and stay yo' ass in the house. #SocialDistancing is the new cool.

I hope you find a better version of you in this quarantine season. Who do you want to become? Who do you wish to be? What is going on inside your head and your heart? I would love to know and I would love for you to find out and have your own break through. Read the blog post that is the mirror image of this episode here: https://efabuloushb.wordpress.com/?p=10488

God / Universe looked out for me and they still cover me. It didn't all come together how I thought it would, but my heart is full and grateful for small mercies. You can read the blog post that mirrors this episode here: https://efabuloushb.wordpress.com/2020/01/11/myprayerswereanswered/

This episode is about adjusting to life under self-quarantine. Discussing the balance of remote working, homeschooling, getting the right information, being kind to yourself and creating an online support system. This podcast episode is a companion the blog post about Parenting during COVID-19. You can read it here: https://efabuloushb.wordpress.com/2020/03/17/parentinginapandemic/

Happy Black American History Month 2020!!! Today's episode I briefly discuss Black American History Month, Black Celebrity versus Black Reality, and my favorite (not) the erasure of middle-aged Black American women. See... All BLACK Everything. For more musings make sure you tip over to my blog at www.EfabulousHB.com. Or visit me on IG, I do a lot of small time musing on that platform. --> www.instagram.com/Efabuloushb

I had so many things to do. So many things to get done. #Sarcoidosis basically put the kabash on any plans I had this week. This is the first time I didn't feel guilty about listening to my body. I rested. I took it slow. My Xmas decorations are up. This is life with a chronic illness, chronic fatigue, stress and being alone. It's all on me and sometimes I just cannot do it all.

Per the Oxford dictionary online "Long In The Tooth" means "rather old". I am 46 and I guess I am rather old. Yet, I still have a lot of life left in me, especially now that I realize how life and time fleeting. --> Visit efabuloushb.com for my random musings --> Follow me on Twitter, Facebook, or Instagram --> @Efabuloushb0--> Visit efabuloushb.com for my random musings --> Follow me on Twitter, Facebook, or Instagram --> @Efabuloushb

It is 2020. It is an entirely new decade. You are the same person, just strive to do better. The resolutions thingy is "old hat"!!!!

Soooooo, I’m a lucky lady.  The universe granted me the opportunity  to talk to the talented St. Clair Detrick-Jules about her upcoming book “Dear Khloe“. What is “Dear Khloe” you ask?  – here’s a description from the author – “Dear Khloe” is a photography book coming out soon featuring  100 fearless Black women with natural hair, dedicated to my little  sister who is self-conscious about her afro. (She also lives in the  suburbs, and her white classmates make fun of her afro.) You can learn more about the book via their trailer on Youtube go here:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NDjk1XYBeT0 If you want to learn more about the book and sign up for the mailing list, use these links to connect to the project: Website:  www.DearKhloe.com Instagram:  www.instagram.com/Dear_Khloe Twitter:  www.twitter.com/DearKhloe Facebook:  www.facebook.com/dearkhloe Visit the related blog post to this podcast here:  https://efabuloushb.wordpress.com/2019/11/15/dear-khloe/ #BlackHair #NaturalHair #Curls #Locs #Freedom #BlackBeauty #Collaboration #DearKhloe #NaturalCurls #Curlyhair #AfroHair #BlackWomen 

Co-Parenting is not natural to me, although my parents actually co-parented whilst I was in 8th grade through to my Dad's passing when I was a junior in high school. I know how to co-parent and apparently, I'm kind of good at it. However, I NEVER EVER WANTED TO CO-PARENT. I never wanted to be a single, divorced parent - so emotionally, I find it taxing. Very. Here are some links to parenting and divorce related blog posts I've written about in the past: https://efabuloushb.wordpress.com/2015/03/22/divorcemomchronicles-i-didnt-have-the-luxury/ https://efabuloushb.wordpress.com/2015/10/05/parenting-only-children-after-divorce/ https://efabuloushb.wordpress.com/2016/06/20/in-the-end-a-broken-little-black-american-girl-saw-a-broken-white-british-boy-and-we-naively-joined-hands-in-an-effort-to-heal-and-to-love/ https://efabuloushb.wordpress.com/2019/09/17/yes-im-a-mom-and-yes-i-am-also-a-complex-human-being/ I would love to hear how many of you deal with co-parenting in modern times. Do you use Google calendar? WhatsApp? Have you memorized the divorce decree by heart. Share and let me know some co-parenting tips to ease the stress and help the child maintain the feelings of being loved and supported... because in the end, that's the goal. #coparenting #parenting #divorce #singleparents #singleMoms #divorcedMoms #parentinginmoderntimes

Before we talk about Social Anxiety, let's define it. Social anxiety is the fear of social situations that involve interaction with other people. You could say social anxiety is the fear and anxiety of being negatively judged and evaluated by other people. It is a pervasive disorder and causes anxiety and fear in most all areas of a person's life. (Definition taken from SocialPhobia.org...) I didn't start off having social anxiety. I promise you. I can be gregarious as you like, but things change in adulthood. Now as a middle aged SuperMom, my social anxiety is HELLA HIGH. I think it is because I'm still finding my tribe at 46yrs old. (Okay, I'm a slow starter. Don't judge me. No really because that triggers my anxiety. LBVS.) In this episode I talk about social anxiety and how it affects me. Now, I want to stress if you have social anxiety and you need help, please, please seek to get a therapist or see if you can talk to someone from your work's EAP line. There is help out there. Here's a link to learn more about social phobia: https://www.helpguide.org/articles/anxiety/social-anxiety-disorder.htm #SocialAnxiety #MiddleAge #FindingYourTribe #SocialPressure #Triggers #Stress

I love Ramen! I don't know how many times I should say it. Now, I also realize my last episode about ramen -- the sound quality was horrible. Thus being a person who is a bit of a perfectionist, I re-recorded the episode. Capiche!!!

This is my audio homage to eating a good bowl of ramen. I literally had some amazing ramen at Tamashi Ramen & Sushi off Silver road in Houston, Texas. Then I go on to praise the staff at Agu Ramen off Washington & I-10. Last, but never least shout out to Ramen-tatsuya in Midtown. A culinary and social experience to say the least.

I suffer from depression. I have multiple triggers. As of lately all my triggers seem to stem from managing my single motherhood while managing my Sarcoidosis in tandem. So this is a topic that I plan to revisit often. Sorry, not sorry. It’s my life, I refuse to apologize for it. Read the blog post that accompanies this episode at https://efabuloushb.wordpress.com/2019/10/03/fightingoffthesadness/ ➡ #MommyFab #Sarcoidosis #SingleMotherhood

In this episode, I am musing about the end of August and what to do as we speed towards the last quarter of 2020. If you have some fall tips, share them with me on #Anchor or Twitter. Don't forget to visit my blog at www.EfabulousHB.com ... Danke!

You wake up one day and you are middle aged. You think about the lofty goals you had in your 20's and you realize you are off course. Life got me waaaaaaay off course. You can read more about my quirky Black woman excellence at www.EfabulousHB.com ... But today, in this episode I am dissecting my befuddlement about where I am in life. Enjoy.

My numbers were up and I was panicking. We all thought the Sarc' had moved to my eye. I went through some horrible spurts of depression as I waited to see the retina specialist. I'm Blessed. I do not have it in my eyes. Praise God. However, what about the people who do? What about the single, divorced working Moms like me who are far away from their families and they are pushing through a serious chronic illness. This is hard. Parenting with a chronic illness is damn hard. Then try being Black American on top of it -- because medical apartheid is very real for Black people. I wrote about "Living with Sarcoidosisis" on my blog here: https://efabuloushb.wordpress.com/2019/06/21/livingwithsarcoidosis2019edition/ #Sarcoidosis #ChronicIllness #Parenting

I know how I got here. I wanted a great love and love story. I got it. It didn’t stay that way. I got a divorce. Shortly thereafter, I lived with a demon amongst men. His soul was filthy and incomplete. Then some time later, I gave the last of my heart to someone who didn’t truly value me. And now I am devoid of that enduring love I was so capable of in my youth. Read more about my musing at https://efabuloushb.wordpress.com/2019/06/23/andthereisme/

This is just a quick shout out to a personal hero of mine, Anthony Bourdain. #BourdainDay2019 has really moved me. I took this loss so personally. I just wanted to share my thoughts. Rest In Power, Tony.

Sarcoidosis (pronounced SAR-COY-DOE-SIS) is an inflammatory disease characterized by the formation of granulomas, tiny clumps of inflammatory cells, in one or more organs of the body. When the immune system goes into overdrive and too many of these clumps form, they can interfere with an organ’s structure and function. When left unchecked, chronic inflammation can lead to fibrosis, which is permanent thickening or scarring of organ tissue. >>> This disorder can affect almost any organ in the body, including the heart, skin, liver, kidneys, brain, sinuses, eyes, muscles, bones, and other areas. Sarcoidosis most commonly targets the lungs and the lymph nodes, which are an important part of the immune system. When it affects the lungs, it is called pulmonary sarcoidosis. Ninety percent or more of people diagnosed with the disease have lung involvement. >>> Support the effort to KICK IN TO STOP SARCOIDOSIS... visit: bit.ly/eycmteamkiss >>>#SarcoidosisWarrior #SarcWarrior #KickInToStopSarcoidoais

Latest blog post is here: https://efabuloushb.wordpress.com/2019/03/20/make-space-for-yourself-so-you-can-come-thru-for-you/ >>>> Summary >>>> We all hold space for bullshhh and dead things in our own way and I’m begging you – LET IT GO. Let it all go of all your dead weight and make space for YOU. Darling you are so worth it. You are so worth all the space your tender heart can hold because you love like no other and you are worthy of love.

Look! I do not usually say "um" a LOT. I do say it. Today I had a lot of thoughts about being grown, getting older, Black Americans and all the other stuff that goes with it. Yet, UM dominated my lexicon today. I will do better. I promise you, but there is a message in what I'm saying however UM-articulate I am today. (See what I did there!!!!) Oh and I was in the car! Soooooooo there's that. Not an excuse, but does explain the background and wind noise screaming through my hoopty. Don't be judging me! McJudgy Judge Judge! Here's a blog post about my bs choices:  https://efabuloushb.wordpress.com/2018/10/11/thefailureletter/. I wrote that post in October 2018 and it's closely related to the topic of this podcast episode - choices, lessons and observations. Okay, I've said so much. Listen to the podcast, forgive the background noise and FORGIVE ME FOR SAYING UM OVER 35 DAMN TIMES.  #MommyFab #EfabulousHB 

Have you visited my new year post via my blog? No. You should. Go here: https://efabuloushb.wordpress.com/2019/01/05/newyearnewmebullcrap/ >> Anyway, happy 2019. Change is hard. Progress no matter how slow, is progress I say!  This is ramblings in the car, because um.... I'm a divorced, working, Single Mom who drives long distances. Enjoy! 

I go places. I do. I promise you even though I am a SuperMom who needs to watch my time stringently. I go outside and socialize. Here's a list of my adventures, I will be discussing them on the show. THE #HOUSTONBLACKHERITAGEFEST: A FULL REVIEW https://efabuloushb.wordpress.com/2018/08/15/houstonblackheritagefest2018/ THE FANS GOT MORE THAN WHAT THEY CAME FOR AT THE #FANDEMICTOUR HOUSTON https://efabuloushb.wordpress.com/2018/09/24/fandemictourhouston2018/ EATING FOR A CAUSE? I’M IN. #MENWHOCOOK2018 https://efabuloushb.wordpress.com/2018/10/15/menwhocook2018-2/ #JACKHONEYABL + #MOMMYFAB … FABULOUS! https://efabuloushb.wordpress.com/2018/11/18/jackhoneyabl-mommyfab-fabulous/

This Friday, I want to talk about what makes me grateful, thankful and feeling Blessed. I talk about being thankful on my blog. Go here: https://efabuloushb.wordpress.com/2018/08/10/thankfulandgrateful/ #MommyFab #EfabulousHB #BlessedAndGrateful

These are the things I am thinking about this Tuesday, July 31, 2018. It me, just musing or rambling. #MommyFab

It is okay to feel down and recharge your soul. However, don't ever give up and take yourself out the game. Life as a Black American can take such a heavy toll.

I'm an older Black American, working mother with a young child. I'm also sick with Sarcoidosis. This podcast is related to my blog post about turning 45yrs old with Sarc'. You can find it here: https://efabuloushb.wordpress.com/2018/03/11/45yrsoldsonowwhat/

WWE is a world class entertainment organization and in my book they put on a spectacular world class event. #WRESTLEMANIA34 WAS FREAKING AWESOME! BAR NONE! Read more about my experience here: https://efabuloushb.wordpress.com/2018/04/10/wrestlemania34-was-freaking-awesome-bar-none/ #EfabulousHB #MommyFab

He has Risen... and basically so has this podcast for a second time. Bwwwwwwwah. I know tacky right. You'll live. I decided to revamp my podcast and move it to Anchor.FM. This episode is gonna tell you how it is all going to go down. Okay ---- Great chat!