We continue our hiatus as we prepare for season five. In today's episode, we return to season three and our conversation with Megan Hunter at the Hight Conflict Institute in a great conversation about dealing with divorce with high conflict people. Ninety percent of divorce conflict can be resolved through dialog and negotiation. But what about that last ten percent? In these situations you might find yourself interacting with partners that have moved from the frustration and grief natural in the divorce process and into what we have come to call high conflict behavior. Megan Hunter co-founded the High Conflict Institute, an organization dedicated to this group that engages in high conflict behaviors. What is high conflict behavior in the divorce process? How do you resolve conflict when risk is high and this behavior is potentially dangerous? How do you move toward settlement when any resolution appears to be impossible? Join us today to find out. Links & Notes The High Conflict Institute Guides on Divorce and Co-Parenting in High Conflict Situations
On today's Blue By Ninety podcast, the boys are joined by Lexi Wester from Multiplicity Media to talk about Michigan basketball's short-handed performance against Illinois. Her and the guys also discuss the latest with Harbaugh Contract Watch and what Mike Elston's hiring means for the Wolverines moving forward. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
On today's Blue By Ninety podcast, Justin Roh, Jack Scheel and Kailen McKay are joined by Michigan punter Brad Robbins, who recently announced he will be returning to Ann Arbor for one final season. Robbins discusses what went into his decision to return to Michigan for a sixth and final season, and so much more. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Justin Roh of Blue by Ninety filled in for Luke Ghiardi this week to catch up with Scotty White about what the future is looking like for Jim Harbaugh and if he will be the head coach at Michigan in 2022. The two also look back at Georgia's win over Alabama, and whether it makes them feel better about the Orange Bowl. All of our Maize n Brew podcasts are available wherever you get your shows! Subscribe, rate and leave us a review: Apple | Spotify | Google | Stitcher | Megaphone Twitter: https://twitter.com/MaizenBrew Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/maizenbrewsbn/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/maizenbrewsbn YouTube:https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCZBJuf_eohVzbfZmZzMIdqA Discord: https://discord.com/invite/vZMsMT Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Now that Michigan football is in the offseason, the Blue By Ninety guys hit the recruiting trail to talk with Allen Trieu of 247Sports about the impact Michigan's season could have on future recruiting classes, what recruits are hot on the Wolverines and the impact that NIL is having in the world of recruiting. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
From DailyPodcastPractice.com Today is Women Rock! Day, because it was on this day in 1987 that Aretha Franklin, famously called the queen of soul, became the first woman to be inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. In the last 24 hours, the United States Geological Survey reported 24 earthquakes in the lower 48 states and Alaska. On this day in 1521, Martin Luther, German professor of theology, priest, author, composer, and one-time Augustinian monk, was excommunicated from the Catholic church by Pope Leo X because he would not recant parts of his Ninety-five Theses. Born on this day in 1945 in Dallas, TX, American singer-songwriter, guitarist, producer, and political activist Stephen Stills I'm thinking that the conversion from gasoline-powered vehicles to electric-powered ones is progressing nicely. I saw this article at Interesting Engineering dot Com, the headline is “Hyundai Motors Will Reportedly No Longer Develop Internal Combustion Engines.”
Why do New Year's Resolutions fail? Mainly, because they are only a statement, or what we wish for in the coming year. There are usually no action plans, no deadlines, no backup plans. Sometimes they are unrealistic resolutions, with no other thought or plans besides the statement.3 Reasons they fail:First, we need to get our thinking right before we can experience enduring change.Second, we fail to have a structure—a pathway with some built-in accountability—to keep us focused and intentional.Third, we are fearful of making these changes because of how they might impact us.4 Barriers:Barrier #1 — The feeling that we are fundamentally flawed and either don't deserve or don't have it in us to make the changes we need to make. In other words, we are limited by our own thinking.Barrier # 2 — This one is a little odd, but I validated it in my book, The No-Fear Entrepreneur. It's the fear of feeling disloyal. “If I make these changes and experience success, I might leave others behind, which would be wrong.”Barrier # 3 — A belief that positive life change and success bring a more immense burden.Barrier # 4 — The fear of outshining others or, as some of our mothers used to say, “Acting too big for your britches.”3 Questions or an outline of an After Action ReportQuestion # 1 – What did I do right in 2021? Think about this in the context of personal growth, business/professional development, relationships, and spiritual growth. NOTE: Make sure your positives outnumber your negatives!Question # 2 – What did I do wrong in 2021? Be brutally honest with yourself, but don't get involved in self-flagellation or excessive self-criticism. Remember, do your best to ensure that your positives outweigh your negatives.Question # 3 – What can I do better in 2022? Be crystal clear here. The main reason most people fail to meet any of their New Year's Resolutions is that they are too broad, too generalized, and have no measurable outcomes attached to them.Jon Acuff's suggestions:1. Ninety days from now I will have ______________________________________________.2. This sounds impossible, but I want to _____________________________________ this year.3. This is weird, but I want to _____________________________________ in 2022.Here is a link to the article and Jon Acuff's links to his book and YouTube.
Pour-over recipe Ratio: 60 g/L Dose: 10g Water: 160g at 198°F Grind: medium-fine - Comandante: 20-25 clicks // Baratza: 14 Pre-infusion/Bloom: 40g - 30 sec Pulses: 60g @30sec / 60g @ 1min Brew time: 2'15 - 2'30 min.
The Boys mentally prepare themselves for the Wolverines' NYE showdown with the "Jawja" Bulldogs as Justin is recording from the sunny beach bars in Miami. Crack a cold one and enjoy the show. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
The United States entered 1954 in an uncertain position. Years of racial discrimination were coming to the forefront. In May, Brown vs. the Board of Education would make racial segregation in schools illegal. ___________ The Korean War was over, but the communist Red Scare was reaching its height.Dwight D. Eisenhower was completing his first year as U.S. President. Elizabeth II was now Queen of England. Joseph Stalin was dead. So was Hank Williams, Maude Adams, Jim Thorpe, Herman Mankiewicz, Dooley Wilson, Robert Taft, Edwin Hubble, and Dylan Thomas. ___________ Meanwhile, radio achieved total saturation. Ninety-eight percent of homes had a radio set. There were still nineteen million U.S. houses that could only be reached by radio. However, the four national networks continued a five-year downward trend in radio ad sales. Network radio gross revenue peaked in 1948 at just under two-hundred million dollars. In 1953, it was down to one-hundred sixty million. ___________ Procter & Gamble led the way with over fourteen million dollars spent, and forty companies, including General Foods, Colgate-Palmolive, Liggett & Myers, Campbell's Soups, S.C. Johnson, and Coca-Cola spent at least one million dollars on radio advertising. ___________ While TV hadn't fully supplanted radio's total reach, it had decimated it's prime-time audience share. On CBS-TV I Love Lucy led all shows with a 58.8 rating. It was seen in over fifteen million homes each Monday evening at 9PM. Opposite on the other medium, The Lux Radio Theater was heard in just under three million. ___________ And it turned out that as McCarthyism reached its zenith, dramatic radio would spend the first six months of 1954 facing wide-spread network cancellations. These were shows that just six years earlier were at the forefront of national consciousness. ___________ Radio's heyday was over. Tonight, we'll go back to January of 1954 and search for more answers. ___________ Welcome to Breaking Walls, episode 123. My name is James Scully. Tonight on Breaking Walls, we open 2022 with a six-part mini-series on radio business and programming in 1954. We'll begin with January, in a radio half-season that was for many, the end of the line. ___________ If this is your first time listening to Breaking Walls, welcome to the show! You can find this series for free on every podcasting platform, and at TheWallBreakers.com. ___________ Tonight we'll also begin a new programming format on Breaking Walls. Going forward, I'll be releasing each episode in parts. These parts will be available on Sundays, Tuesdays, and Thursdays. Once all parts of an episode are released, I'll release the full-length episode for those who want to listen to it in the traditional format. For those listening on Youtube for the first time, please go to TheWallBreakers.com for the full lineup of past episodes in feature length.
‘Tis Christmas! Or, just after it, at any rate. Let us gather and make merry, then lament most heartily about yonder dice that have bedevilled us at tournaments, verily. Or something. We’ve also got an interesting discussion about the latest FAQ from Gee Dubs. Has it made things clearer? Yes and no! Find out more… … Continue reading Episode Ninety: FAQ Up Your Troubles →
‘Tis Christmas! Or, just after it, at any rate. Let us gather and make merry, then lament most heartily about yonder dice that have bedevilled us at tournaments, verily. Or something. We’ve also got an interesting discussion about the latest FAQ from Gee Dubs. Has it made things clearer? Yes and no! Find out more… … Continue reading Episode Ninety: FAQ Up Your Troubles →
On today's episode of Blue By Ninety, Justin, Jack and Kailen recap their Christmases with their families -- which involved games, drinking and much more -- and then preview the upcoming Orange Bowl between Michigan and Georgia. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
The Blue By Ninety guys deliver a special holiday episode for you to listen to while you're finishing last-minute gift shopping. They give a preview of the Orange Bowl, give the best drink options for your family gathering, and discuss the best Christmas movies. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Black Christmas (1974) movie review for horror and tea fans alike! The unedited video version of this episode can be found at: https://youtu.be/a-JbwS0gdWw. For our tea sippers, brew a cup of tea, sit back, relax and we hope you enjoy the review! We would be honored if you liked and subscribed! Comment on what you thought of the movie. If you'd like to recommend a movie or tea and keep up to date with our content, you can find us on:
824: Jeff Perez lives in the small town in Parsons, Kansas. Ninety-five years ago, the MKT Railroad built a 9 hole course that is still around today. It's open mainly because after his career in manufacturing, Jeff quit his job and bought the course. He was in for a big surprise that just keeping the doors open was not enough to keep it running. In this episode we meet Jeff and hear what it takes to operate your own golf business when you know nothing about the business or the industry. WIN a box Golf Smarter golf balls and be part of the podcast! When you record our episode intro from your phone, you'll be eligible to win a box of golf balls with the Golf Smarter logo! Write to GolfSmarterPodcast@gmail.com and tell us that you want to play. We'll assign you an episode number and a script to record for the intro of the show. Every ten listeners who participate will be entered into a drawing for a box of balls with the Golf Smarter logo!Golf Smarter is your podcast forecaddie! We are an entertainment service that is focused on enhancing every round for you. Just like caddies, we accept tips for services rendered. Please click on the DONATE button at GolfSmarter.com to show your support so that we can continue to provide weekly, helpful, and entertaining content. Your donation can be as much, or as little as you'd like. It can be a one time offering or your can even do it recurring. Thank you very much.
On today's edition of the Blue By Ninety podcast, the boys are joined by Michigan freshman All-American linebacker Junior Colson. They discuss everything from the College Football Playoff to his first time seeing snow fall vs. Ohio State to what the freshman class has in store for the future. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Ninety-five percent of the universe is invisible. How do we know it's there and what is it? We'll take a look at the dark side of the universe, including the mysterious forces that affect the spin of our galaxy and the processes that build and destroy the estimated two trillion galaxies out there. Along the way we'll catch sight of the Big Bang that started it all and get some notion as to where it's all going.
This episode may have the best summary ever given, and it's from this week's guest Daina Ali; "This show is 3 dudes with ADHD trying to keep on topic". We Talk Beef Jerky, Vegan Butchers, Call Centers, and Joe reveals his Awfully Specific Kink. It's a wild journey, enjoy. Awful Service is a customer service based comedy podcast. Hosted by Minnesota based comics and Co-hosts Nathan Smesrud and Matt Dooyema. Featuring Rebecca Wilson and Joe Cocozzello. "Awful Theme Song" by Jeff Kantos and "Karen Theme Remix","Show Us Your Resume", "Gee Why Did It Fail" and "Awful Outro" by Mr Rogers and The Make Believe Friends Message us your stories ; Awfulservicepod@gmail.com. Follow us on Twitter @podservice. Facebook @AwfulServicepod. Instagram @awfulservicepod.
The Storm Skiing Podcast is sponsored by Mountain Gazette - Listen to the podcast for discount codes on subscriptions and merch.WhoRoger Arsenault, Chairman of the Board of Directors, and Deanna Kersey, Marketing Manager, Black Mountain of MaineRecorded onDecember 13, 2021Why I interviewed themThere may be no ski area in America that better tells its story through trailmaps than Black Mountain of Maine. The humble 470-foot bump, T-bar climbing up the incline, circa 1980:It didn’t look much different 22 years later:But prior to the 2004 season, Black finally strung a triple chair to the summit. The T-bar stayed, but the mountain ran a new clutch of trails down a full 1,136 vertical feet:By 2011, the mountain had expanded skier’s right:Then onto hike-to terrain skier’s left, taking the full skiable vertical drop to 1,380 feet:Then Black Mountain began acknowledging the voracious work of the Angry Beavers, which had quickly become the most legendary glading corps in New England:And here it is today:Has any other ski area in New England transformed its footprint so dramatically in the past two decades? Maybe Saddleback, which undertook a similar clandestine re-ordering under the Berry family. But that was an already-big ski area trimming its edges. Black was a tiny mountain that morphed into a mid-sized one, and like leaves filling out the forest in springtime, no one even noticed until it was there. Hell, no one has noticed yet. How did Black do it, and what was next? I had to find out.What we talked aboutWho owns and operates non-profit Black Mountain of Maine and how it raises funds; how to give back with nothing but time; snowmobile races; surveying the Maine ski scene; how the Maine Winter Sports Center saved the ski area; how the ski area transformed from a 400-foot-bump at the turn of the century to a mid-sized ski area with three times the vertical drop and an ever-expanding trail-and-glade network; transforming the public narrative around Black Mountain; how megapasses are driving skiers to smaller ski areas; how the local skiers responded when the town suspended the ski area’s funds one year; the Angry Beavers and the ski area’s astonishing glade network; the logic of green-circle glades; Black’s unique trailmap; the gradual and understated expansion of Black’s trail network; whether we could see more trails cut off Bagaduce; Black’s unique Osekare uphill trail; possible future expansion; what a Bagaduce chairlift could look like; why the ski area is rarely crowded even when the parking lots are full; potential enhancements to the current summit chairlift; why Black doesn’t have a beginner carpet and is unlikely to get one; why the ski area only offers public night skiing a handful of days per year; $15 Thursday lift tickets and $25 Friday lift tickets sponsored by L.L. Bean; why Black’s season passes remain so cheap; Indy Pass and potential reciprocal partnerships; private mountain rentals Monday through Wednesday and how much they cost; and how 2021-22 Covid protocols will differ from last season and what will be the same.Why I thought that now was a good time for this interviewAt this point, I think we’re all a little fried: $269 lift tickets, 900-resort Epimegas, liftlines wrapped around the planet. It’s fun to complain about, but not that much fun to do. And you don’t have to. The NSAA says there are 462 U.S. ski areas. Seventy-two are on the Epkon passes. Ninety percent of the rest of them have chairlifts flapping in the breeze. Maine is a big ski state without a lot of big ski areas. Sunday River, Sugarloaf, Saddleback – all excellent. But they’re not everything. Abram and Shawnee Peak are there too, and then there’s Black, which has quietly become the fourth largest ski area in the state. And no one talks about it, no one knows about it. This is your release valve. You’re welcome.Why you should ski Black Mountain of MaineHere it is: the mountain we all say we want to ski: out of the way, unknown, funky, independent, cheap, rowdy, unforgiving, made for and by skiers. Thursday lift tickets are $15. Fridays are $25. A season pass is approximately the cost of a Burrito Supreme. This is Europe in the 1970s. Costa Rica 15 years ago. A bargain now but bound to blow up because how can it not? It’s half an hour down the road from Sunday River, a natural overflow point, the place you go when you’ve had enough and you just say “goddamnit.” What more could a skier want? The answer is nothing. A mountaintop triple chair at the end of the road, in the back of the woods, like you turned left off US 2 into 1964. And you know what? Maybe you did.More Black Mountain of MaineLift Blog’s inventory of Black Mountain of Maine’s lift fleetHistoric Black Mountain of Maine trailmaps on skimap.orgMore about the Libra Foundation, which oversees Black Mountain of Maine Subscribe at www.stormskiing.com
CBIA BizCast host Ali Warshavsky speaks with Dr. Charles Lee, director of The Jackson Laboratory for Genomic Medicine in Farmington. Lee's team is responsible for determining which COVID-19 variants are present in Connecticut, using genomic sequencing to identify strains in positive samples. The state is using resources like Jackson Labs to sequence 25% of all positive cases to determine how many cases of the original variant, Delta, or Omicron cases there are in Connecticut. “The entire length of the virus is 30,000 bases so we sequence the entire 30,000 bases and look for the changes along all 30,000 bases,” Lee said. “Of course doing that by hand is a nearly impossible task—we have computers that help us do that quickly.” They then notify the state lab of which variants they detect. Lee said they primarily analyze positive tests from nursing homes and assisted living facilities. Ninety-nine percent of the variants analyzed recently were the Delta strain of the virus. Please rate, review, and subscribe to the BizCast wherever you get your podcasts—we appreciate your support! If you have a story to tell, contact Ali Warshavsky.
Hark! It's an 87th Precinct podcast. It's 2002/03 and Ed McBain has written probably the most overtly comic novel in the entire series of the 87th Precinct. Follow us as we tag along with Fat Ollie Weeks to see if he can find (a) a murderer, (b) his book and (c) love and redemption? Oh, we forgot to look at the contemporary reviews of the book in this episode, so watch out for them in our Christmassy Bonus Episode coming soon. Then it's onto book 53, The Frumious Bandersnatch. Fare Thee Well.
Dead End (2003) movie review for horror and tea fans alike! The unedited video version of this episode can be found at: https://youtu.be/OqIW3Q-S23g. For our tea sippers, brew a cup of tea, sit back, relax and we hope you enjoy the review! We would be honored if you liked and subscribed! Comment on what you thought of the movie. If you'd like to recommend a movie or tea and keep up to date with our content, you can find us on:
Michigan Football Senior linebacker Michael Barrett joins the boys to talk about the incredible journey the 2021 season has been, the defensive switch from Don Brown to Mike Macdonald, College Football Playoff, and more. Crack a cold one and enjoy the show. All of our Maize n Brew podcasts are available wherever you get your shows! Subscribe, rate, and leave us a review: Apple | Spotify | Google | Stitcher | Megaphone Twitter: https://twitter.com/MaizenBrew Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/maizenbrewsbn/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/maizenbrewsbn YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCZBJuf_eohVzbfZmZzMIdqA Discord: https://discord.com/invite/vZMsMTF Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
INTRODUCTION At the beginning of Hebrews 3, we are told that Jesus Christ is the Apostle and High Priest of our confession. As an apostle, sent from the Father, He represents God to us. As a high priest, designated to come before God on our behalf, He represents us to God. Consequently, the bridge between God and man is a bridge that can be traveled in both directions—from God to man, and from man to God. But in order to be the high priest, He also had to serve as the sacrifice, and this meant that He had to be a spotless sacrifice. This also is addressed by the author of Hebrews. THE TEXT “Seeing then that we have a great high priest, that is passed into the heavens, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold fast our profession. For we have not an high priest which cannot be touched with the feeling of our infirmities; but was in all points tempted like as we are, yet without sin. Let us therefore come boldly unto the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy, and find grace to help in time of need” (Hebrews 4:14–16). SUMMARY OF THE TEXT Because Christ was given to us, we have a great high priest. Because He is our high priest, He travels away from us, in order represent us in the heavens. In the heavens, He sprinkles His own blood on the altar (Heb. 9:12), and in the heavens He also intercedes for you (Rom. 8:34), praying for you by name. We are instructed to hold fast our profession precisely because we have a high priest in the heavens, and this high priest knows exactly what it is like down here. The original word here is sympatheo—we have a high priest who is sympathetic with us in our infirmities. He was tempted in all the same basic areas we are tempted, and yet without sin. His ability to sympathize with us is not despite His perfection, but rather is the result of His perfection. His throne is a throne of grace, not a throne of recrimination or accusation. It is a throne of grace. So, we are told, when you are in need of grace (unmerited favor) or mercy (demerited favor), or both, you are supposed to come to his throne boldly. All of this is reflected wonderfully in the Definition of Chalcedon, which says that Christ was “like us in all respects, apart from sin.” TRUE TEMPTATION? Some people are prone to rely on their own wits instead of the plain instruction of Scripture, and so they reason something like this. “If it was not possible for Christ to sin, then in what way was His temptation a true temptation?” And because we share some of the frailties of the objector, this kind of thing sometimes make sense to us. Let us answer it with another illustration. Were Christ's bones breakable? And the answer to that question is both yes and no. They were breakable in that they were made of the same breakable substance as our bones are. His bones were not unbreakable; they were not made out of titanium. But because Scripture cannot be broken (John 10:35), because the Word of God is unbreakable, His bones were not going to be broken (Ex. 12:46; Num. 9:12; Ps. 34:20; 1 Cor. 5:7; John 19:36). So Christ's human nature was peccable (capable of sin), but the promises of God concerning Him were impeccable, which meant that God's Word was going to be fulfilled in Christ, and that Christ would see the desire of His soul and be satisfied (Is. 53:11). The Christ will prevail through all of His temptations and trials, and He will praise His Father in the great congregation (Ps. 22:25). TRUE SYMPATHY? We can only come before this throne of grace boldly if we are sure of our reception, and if we are also sure that the one who receives us warmly is actually capable of helping us. “But without faith it is impossible to please him: for he that cometh to God must believe that he is, and that he is a rewarder of them that diligently seek him” (Hebrews 11:6). We must believe that He is there, and we must also believe that He is both willing and able to help us. “And, behold, there came a leper and worshipped him, saying, Lord, if thou wilt, thou canst make me clean” (Matthew 8:2). And Christ said yes. Suppose that temptation is the wind, and that sinning consists of blowing right over. Suppose also that all of we assigned the task of walking 10 miles in winds that were up to one hundred miles per hour. To make this an illustration with nice round numbers, suppose that 100 of us were told to walk this distance in this wind. Ninety of us blew over the moment we stepped outside, nine of us blew over after three yards—true saints, all nine of them, and one of us (Jesus) walked the entire distance. Now which of the 100 can be considered a wind expert? Who knows the most about it? When you sympathize with a fellow right next to you, who blew over the same moment you did, your sympathy is weak and pathetic compared to the true sympathy that Christ has for you and for him. His sympathy is the stronger for His strength. His strength does not render Him a weak high priest. How could it? COMPLETE MAN, COMPLETE OFFICER We have considered the person and work of Christ. The person of Christ was the result of the great miracle that was wrought by the Holy Spirit nine months prior to Bethlehem (Luke 1:35). And because He was the complete and perfect man, He also perfectly fulfilled the calling of His various offices (prophet, priest, and king). Only a perfect man can be a perfect prophet (Dt. 18:15). Only a perfect man can be a perfect high priest (Heb. 4: 14-16). Only a perfect man can be a perfect king (Rev. 19:16). And precisely because Christ has entered into His inheritance, it is possible for us to enter into ours—because all that He has and is belongs to us by grace. “For all the promises of God in him are yea, and in him Amen, unto the glory of God by us” (2 Corinthians 1:20).
Eyes to the Front of the Pod Class. Today we have former substitute teacher and Current hilarious comedian Robert Baril on the Podcast. We talk playing hooky, bait shop shenanigans, 8 bit music, and Juicy slices, enjoy. Awful Service is a customer service based comedy podcast. Hosted by Minnesota based comics and Co-hosts Nathan Smesrud and Matt Dooyema. Featuring Rebecca Wilson and Joe Cocozzello. "Awful Theme Song" by Jeff Kantos and "Karen Theme Remix","Show Us Your Resume", "Gee Why Did It Fail" and "Awful Outro" by Mr Rogers and The Make Believe Friends Message us your stories ; Awfulservicepod@gmail.com. Follow us on Twitter @podservice. Facebook @AwfulServicepod. Instagram @awfulservicepod.
Here, for your horror listening pleasure, we present two short stories of ghost and grim consequences! What lurks in the old house? What made that awful sound? Listen and shiver as you find out for yourself…not everyone makes it out alive!
On March 18, 1996, 162 people, mostly teenagers and young adults celebrating the end of the school year, were killed in a blaze that was supposed to be a party but turned out to be a tragedy. Ninety-three others were severely injured. That Monday night twisted a night full of fun into a night of inferno, being one of the worst fire incidents in the country and the seventh-worst fire incident in the world as described by the Bureau of Fire Protection (BFP). WEBSITE ▸ https://phmurderstories.com Episode notes and sources are found here! YOUTUBE ▸ https://bit.ly/3sm11n4 SOCIALS ▸ Facebook — https://bit.ly/33xXEAm ▸ Instagram — https://bit.ly/33BL03r ▸ Tiktok — https://bit.ly/2F4a8pY ▸ Twitter — https://bit.ly/3no4jFq ▸ Telegram Channel — https://t.me/phmurderstories DISCORD SERVER ▸ https://bit.ly/3n38Tuh EPISODE SUGGESTIONS ▸ https://www.phmurderstories.com/file-your-blotter.html SUPPORT US ON PATREON ▸ https://www.patreon.com/phmurderstories AFFILIATE LINKS ▸ Lazada — https://bit.ly/3zQ68kk ▸ Shopee — https://bit.ly/3zIZ7Bv Make sure to use these links before filling up your carts to support our team! DISCLAIMER: The views and opinions expressed by the podcast creators, hosts, and guests do not necessarily reflect the official policy and positions of Podcast Network Asia. Any content provided by the people on the podcast is of their own opinion and is not intended to malign any religion, ethnic group, club, organization, company, individual, or anyone or anything.
In belated honor of the Transgender Day of Remembrance, which occurs on November 20th, we offer this tale of Irish-born immigrant, Albert DJ Cashier, a Union private who served during the Civil War. And as we mark this season of remembrance, it is indeed a cruel irony that Albert himself, in the end, due to dementia and mental illness, would not even be able to remember his own remarkable story. But we do. The Q Files is a personal, purposeful, paranormal podcast about the highly strange and weirdly unknown. Join us on our queer adventures as we explore the people, places, and phenomena, outside popular consciousness. The documentary series features astonishing stories about the paranormal, the supernatural, occulture, forgotten history, and the strange. Be Weird. Stay Curious. These are The Q Files. If you enjoyed the show, be sure to subscribe and leave a review. Stay in touch: Facebook: The Q Files Podcast, Twitter: TheQFilesPod, Instagram: TheQFilesPod The music for The Q Files is provided by Sounds Like An Earful. You can read Mary Catherine Lannon's paper entitled "Albert D. J. Cashier and the Ninety-fifth Illinois Infantry," here.
The boys are joined by Michigan Football legend Roy Roundtree and the CEO of Pump It Up at The Big House, Joel Honigford, to discuss Michigan Football's first ever trip to the Big Ten Football championship game. This is a long one but it is electric all the way through. Crack a cold one (or two) and enjoy the show. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Imagine life if you were unable to see. Could you find the toilet, or leave in an emergency? Now imagine you lived in a place where there are no paved roads, no clean water. In our world, 14 million people, more than the entire population of Canada, are blind, unable to perform the daily tasks of living. Ninety percent of the world's visually impaired live in low-income settings. Eighty-five percent of the blindness on our planet could be cured, or could have been prevented. 20 million people are needlessly blind from treatable cataracts.Now imagine: There exists a surgery that can restore perfect sight to these people in five minutes, for the cost of $25 per surgery. Imagine: We can overcome all the needless blindness in the world. People say it's impossible.Some of Dr. Tabin's Highlights:Dr. Tabin was also the fourth person to climb the Seven SummitsIn 1994, Dr. Tabin established the Himalayan Cataract Project with his colleague Dr. Sanduk RuiOn an 8-day expedition to Ethiopia covered by National Geographic in 2009, Dr. Tabin and his team completed over 900 surgeries in just eight daysIn 2009, Dr. Tabin was presented with Unsung Heroes of Compassion Award by Dalai LamaHe pioneered the first ascent of the final unclimbed face of Mount Everest, the challenging East Face, and also became the first ophthalmologist to summit Mount Everest.LINKSRecent Project in EthiopiaCure Blindness & Himalayan Cataract Project WebsiteVideo - Ted Talk - Eradicating World Blindness - 16 minutes Blind Corners Book
00:00.44 mikebledsoe I'm gonna try oh welcome to the max Mike or them. Oh no, no no oh I Totally screwed it up already do over do over. Okay, welcome to yeah I'll edit it. Yeah well. 00:03.90 Max Shank That's how it works when you try. Okay, we got to do it over. We got to do it over just start start over fuck that wait wait wait. We're still recording though the whole time. Yo no, you won't just start the whole thing over. 00:19.65 mikebledsoe I had it every time. Yeah. 00:20.97 Max Shank Really oh, that's cool. 00:27.30 mikebledsoe Ah, welcome to Mondays with mike and Max or if max is saying it. It's max and mike and today we're gonna be talking about learning. We want to teach you how to be a genius and you know. I would say that max and I are both geniuses at certain things I wouldn't say across the board but we have gotten really good at a few things apiece and ah and and things that we were not good at as children. So it's not 1 of those things where we just became good at it. Because you know our dad did it or anything like that. So we have both put a lot of attention into learning how to learn and that has taken us pretty far I would say most people would say that we're happier and more successful than the average guy. 01:20.13 Max Shank Sound really happy right now. No I Guess we're probably just happier than the average person. That's good. 01:21.90 mikebledsoe Our age Do I do I fuck I didn't think so. 01:30.80 mikebledsoe Um, well I'm happier than I'm happier than ah I used to be I can say that. So um, um. 01:35.84 Max Shank Happiness is a state of mind folks. 01:40.34 mikebledsoe Ah, maybe um, but you can also learn to be happy. So yeah, holding a perspective and being able to stabilize that state. Yeah well. 01:45.13 Max Shank Oh yeah, meditation is a state of mind too. Meditation is a state of mind you can practice that as well hundred percent. 01:58.13 mikebledsoe 1 thing that was brought to my attention when it comes to learning is there's a difference between accumulating facts and being able to regurgitate them or to be able to know how to do a certain thing and there's another. It's another thing to hold us. Ah. Hold a perspective so wholly that the knowledge that's necessary to make things happen or to have a conversation just comes with a lot of ease and it's more of ah, being able to stabilize that perspective but people who are into. Ah. Obtaining a lot of knowledge what they'll do is they'll they'll they'll tap into that perspective for a moment and then they'll slide back into their current perspective and then over time you accumulate enough Data Points. You can you can solidify that and then the conversation becomes very very easy when. 02:56.36 Max Shank I Call it Toolbelt knowledge I say if you can access it immediately and you use it with some regularity then it's in the tool belt and then you have something That's maybe like toolbox knowledge. Where for example I speak. 02:56.37 mikebledsoe Discussing a certain topic. 03:14.96 Max Shank Ah, fluent Spanish but there are some words that I wouldn't be able to think of out of the blue. But if someone said it to me I would understand what they were saying and so I think that's more like in the tool like I I can't like you I don't use it all the time and there's been some deterioration. 03:25.16 mikebledsoe What. 03:34.10 Max Shank But I would understand it like I would know what you're talking about and so I just think of it like you have tool belt knowledge which is readily available and more importantly, you use it with some regularity because there's ah, there's a half -life or there's a shelf life I guess on. Information and if you don't use it. You lose it. That's a big thing for learn for learning. 03:54.66 mikebledsoe Yeah I guess similar to the perspective conversation is if if it's it's looking through a specific lens and if you're looking through that lens regularly you're it's in use in it and it stabilizes if you're not looking through it regularly. It gets dirty. 04:13.95 Max Shank Perspective is a huge thing. Um, it's hard to even say where to begin with something as important as perspective because perspective is a locale.. It's like are you zoomed in. Are you zoomed out. Are you looking into the past. Are you looking into the Future. What's the the tint on the lens you know that saying ah seeing the world with rose-colored glasses or through rose colored glasses and some people see the world as a ah, very dark and mean and nasty place and they see themselves. As ah, unlucky. For example, but that's just a matter of what you focus on and that whole comparison syndrome that we get into is really the only thing that colors how lucky we feel or don't feel. So. It's all what you compare it to because you can't define something in isolation you have to compare it to something else same with distance same with mass same with ah the way you live anything it all is what you compare it to. 05:23.80 mikebledsoe Yeah, was they say the ah comparison is a thief of all joy I find it to be a bit easier to learn things when I'm happy um and can learn more than them. Ah, there's I remember looking at a study at 1 point that said that. 05:27.86 Max Shank Um, I've heard that. 05:43.24 mikebledsoe If you add play into what you're learning then you can learn up to 20 times faster. So. 05:50.62 Max Shank Well play is 2 things you said recently play is the first form of training which is practicing which is learning. That's what animals do like big cats. Small cats too other predators they play. As their first form of killing. Basically so um, play is the first form of practice or training or learning if you want to call it that and then the other thing you were saying about being happy is for true learning to occur. 06:11.39 mikebledsoe Um. 06:28.49 Max Shank You need to be interested so you need to be curious and you need to be motivated. Um, you can learn something but you won't truly like learn it and own it if you're doing it just because you must like. For example, school and we could do a whole podcast. About how school is the most colossal misuse of time and abuse of children that I can think of but we'll skip that for another time my point is I mean look it's it's bad but we don't need to belabor the point. Ah yeah. 07:05.42 mikebledsoe I'm in agreement by the way I'm not so the the listeners if I'm laughing because I I know where max is coming from not because I think he's ridiculous. 07:07.41 Max Shank I'm not gonna change. 07:13.60 Max Shank I mean I've taught people stuff in ah in a three day seminar that actually increase their income and their physical health. There's 3 days like that's not long and in 12 years they like don't remember what Sacajawea did they just know that that's a word fuck that shit. 07:20.71 mikebledsoe Right? 3 days that. 07:30.63 mikebledsoe And they're probably they're less healthy in no better position to make money. 07:31.45 Max Shank Ridiculous. 07:35.16 Max Shank Yeah, you sit in a desk for a really long time. You're like looking straight down. It's horrifically bad anyway, all all that. Ah, ah, torture of children aside the reason that people don't remember it is because a it's not in the tool belt because they're not using it. And b they're being coerced into doing it like you must remember this or you will fail and be Bad. It's like okay like I'll do it but I'm not going to not going to do as good a job I'm not going to be as excited and enthusiasm about it and enthusiasm. Comes from ah the root for being possessed by spirit possessed by the Muse. So enthusiasm is really the the energy. That's why you can see people who have very little knowledge actually. Be extremely successful because they're very enthusiastic about the little that they know. 08:34.94 mikebledsoe Yeah I've been talking to my girlfriend about that a bit is she? ah. 08:49.37 mikebledsoe Ah, Max is red with laughter. Ah now I've been talking about ah but well I noticed that there's a lot of people who make a lot of money in real estate. So we've been talking about getting more aggressive about. 08:52.81 Max Shank Ah, ah. 09:06.81 mikebledsoe Investing in real estate and I and it's ah it's a new I know a bit she knows a bit we need to get deeper into it if we want to be good at it. But I go I look at it I go I know a lot of people who invest in real estate or and have been very successful and they don't ah. Occur to me to be the most intelligent people on the planet. They're not.. They're not some type of Genius They they're they Found. They are some type of Genius They found a way to do something and they just repeat it and because that's what works in real estate you find. 09:27.28 Max Shank And. They are some type of genius. 09:43.37 mikebledsoe Find someone who's really successful in real estate and you'll you'll find that they they do 1 or 2 things and they just do it over and over and over and over again. It's it's a bit redundant, but it's also very exciting to watch your your personal wealth climb. 09:58.28 Max Shank Yeah, and you can also lose your shirt in real estate. You can get totally burned by buying a property at the wrong time and not really predicting or preparing for an income decrease I'll just. 10:03.73 mikebledsoe Here. 10:17.45 Max Shank Just remember seeing this house in del mar near where I live and it was ah sold for 18 million a couple years later they put it on the market for 21 million and then I watched them progressively lower the price all the way down to 6 million. 10:36.24 mikebledsoe Whoa. 10:37.16 Max Shank So the value went from 18 million to 6 million and you know there were like all kinds of crashes and stuff going on but this was like on the bluffs like right by the beach in del mar probably that because there are 3 rules in real estate right? location location location this was a. 10:53.43 mikebledsoe E. 10:57.13 Max Shank Primo like Crown Jewel of real estate. It was massive had tennis court. Its right on the beach was ridiculous but they they got taken to the cleaners because they bought it the wrong time and they couldn't survive through the liquidity crisis. Basically like there's that saying that markets can stay irrational longer than you can stay solvent which is kind of a good thing to keep in mind. 11:23.87 mikebledsoe Yeah, Well I think ah great. That's a great point is that that's not likely an intelligence issue as much as it is um, ah, people in what I've seen with people who do make mistakes in investing is. They let their emotions take over and they're afraid that they have a fear of loss and then that's why or they're a fear of missing out or a fear of loss and which a fear of missing out is just fear of future loss and or potential loss and and. 11:59.32 Max Shank Yeah I think go ahead. 12:03.54 mikebledsoe And people they break their own rules like they have this rule around how to invest in real estate or they have a rule that they that's been passed down and if you follow those rules it 99 percent of time you probably can be fine. But then you see a spike in the market or you see a dip in the market and then you you freak out and you react or you you break your own rules or you break the rules of the people who taught you and that because of an emotional experience and that's when people that's what I see when people lose their shirt. 12:35.70 Max Shank Well, it's risk reward right? if you concentrate your bet into 1 thing like let's say you put all of your money on Alibaba 15 years ago, you'd be like really really happy and if you put all your money in blockbuster Video. You'd be really really sad and if you diversified you wouldn't have returned as much as if you had concentrated all of your money into 1 big bet. But you're also limiting how much you can lose. So. I think with life and with investing the thing you want to understand is that it's usually pretty ah clear risk reward ratio and you want to try to aim for things that where you have 2 ways to win and no way to lose pretty much and there's another saying I like which is. 13:27.13 mikebledsoe Yeah. 13:31.91 Max Shank Why risk what you need for what you don't need and that's why you know you hear a story about someone you know, buying some unknown cryptocurrency and they like 10 X their money and then you're like feeling greedy yourself, you're feeling that fear of missing out. So you might catch it at the very top and then and then catch the falling knife as it goes down whereas they caught all the upside. So We we try to use the past to predict the future but it doesn't always go that Way. So if you. 13:55.77 mikebledsoe Yep. 14:11.80 Max Shank Plan for the fact that you will sometimes be wrong it. It works out. Okay. 14:19.70 mikebledsoe Yeah, that's that's the point of anti- fragile the book by is it Nicholas taleeb nasim he he wrote black swan anti-fragile. There's a new 1 that came out that I want to on a read next. And yeah. 14:22.65 Max Shank Um, yeah. 14:37.87 mikebledsoe The whole concept. He's ah he's a great investor himself. Ah and his perspective on strategies for investing is pretty much saying you know shit will go wrong. So how are you set up for that whereas most people like. 14:51.59 Max Shank Well. 14:56.10 mikebledsoe You know they're watching the crypto markets right now and I mean I mean this applies to the learning conversation we get because if. 15:01.23 Max Shank Yeah, you don't have to be smart to do well in investing like um isaac Newton famously said something along the lines of he could predict the movement of celestial bodies but not the madness of crowds and he like lost all of his money. Investing in the East india trading company he like got taken to the cleaners lost every I mean obviously a very intelligent fellow. 15:20.51 mikebledsoe Oh yeah, so. 15:26.90 mikebledsoe Yeah, well well let's just take bitcoin for instance I've been paying attention to crypto markets since 20138 years which is over half the amount of time they've been in existence. So. 15:34.44 Max Shank The. 15:44.18 mikebledsoe I've been through some booms and buss already and what I know because I've been in it long enough is I go Yeah, just you buy a bunch and then you hold it and then you watch everything go up and down and watch everyone else freak out and then you just keep on holding it and you keep on holding it and you keep on holding it and you take some off here and there. Um, there is a strategy for for when to take some out and but most people aren't playing that game. Well, that's the thing It is simple. It is very very simple. Ah, but when the people who who suffer and I've got many close friends who. 16:06.70 Max Shank Make it sound so simple. You make it sound so simple. 16:23.40 mikebledsoe The market starts going up and they start dumping money in or the market starts going down and they start pulling money out and I'm I'm going Whoa Whoa Whoa Just just chill the fuck out just consistently put money in consistently pull money Out. Don't you know. You're not going to.. You're not going to see the wave coming if because if you can see it then everyone else can see it and sometimes that does drive the market up a bit but again long term strategy I've had I've had really big returns from that that simplicity just. 16:55.86 Max Shank So what you're saying is you are an investing genius. 17:01.39 mikebledsoe Um, well are we gonna be playing comparison here. Ah you know what I'm in the 1 percent I'm in the 1 percent for crypto I'll say this I'm in the 1 percent of crypto trading. Ah when it comes to investing in general. No. 17:11.15 Max Shank Um, okay oh that's good. 17:20.10 mikebledsoe I'm I'm not I The crypto thing is huh How does what differ I Oh crypto trading versus investing versus. 17:20.98 Max Shank How do they differ. How do they differ. Ah well I mean it's they're both and they're they're both investing I think the big mistake people make with investing Probably the biggest mistake is they invest money. That they might need soon. 17:41.00 mikebledsoe Well,, there's that 1 and then they invest money in speculation versus Value. So 1 of my rules in investing is what value is being generated in the world by this product or by this service and So. Do I Find what they're creating to be valuable Tesla For instance, do I do I think that those cars hold out. Absolutely they're creating something valuable some of these cryptocurrencies that are you know a 2 page white paper and you know they just. 18:02.43 Max Shank Ah. 18:18.76 mikebledsoe Fleece everybody and they don't have any specific when I when I read about what the purpose of that cryptocurrency is and it doesn't make sense to me and it doesn't seem valuable to me I don't touch it. So. 18:30.82 Max Shank Maybe that's lesson 2 of investing is invest in things that you understand. 18:35.35 mikebledsoe Invest in things you understand, but ah I think invest in things you find valuable and Beyond beyond the dollar. 18:40.48 Max Shank Well, that's not necessarily. Yeah I mean that's not I disagree because if you invest in something that's valuable at a price that is unreasonable then you still lose money on your investment. 18:56.13 mikebledsoe Yeah, it's got to be worth the value that it's demanding. 18:59.64 Max Shank And that's really hard to determine. You know you have price-to earnarings ratios you have identifying trends and there are all these ways that we try to get clear on what something will be worth later. Will it be worth more later and there are all kinds of things like. 19:13.19 mikebledsoe You know. 19:17.89 Max Shank There was a 20 year period where coca -cola returned a zero percent return to its investors and you'd think like man coca -cola is valuable. Their brand is worth billions by itself. But it it all depends on what you pay for and that's the same thing with real estate. Um, unless you are holding real estate for 50 years the profit is in the buying. Yeah. 19:40.61 mikebledsoe Yeah, the deals made and or the the value is in. It's in the buying it's when you make the purchase. Um that that's for sure and that's ah, that's a big reason why and I haven't tried to touch anything in the last year is everything's so hot it is cooling off a bit. The markets are cooling off a bit but it's been so hot that and people are like you could better get in I'm going get into what I'm gonna get in at the peak. So I can come crash with the rest of you now. 20:07.53 Max Shank The the Fomo the Fomo hard to know if it's the peak. That's the tricky thing about investing I mean there are a lot of ah big institutions buying lots of real estate right now and it's um. 20:17.98 mikebledsoe M. 20:26.21 Max Shank Apparently this is now an investing podcast. So if you're tuning in this is investing tips with max and Mike ah. 20:33.71 mikebledsoe I Always try to stay away from investing tips too because. 20:36.89 Max Shank Yeah, it's the worst like this is not a recommendation I think everyone listening should just go by tulip bulbs as many tulip bulbs as possible fill your garage with Tulip bulbs. That's the tricky thing about times like ah. Like what we're seeing right now is some things just go absolutely meteoric they go insanely high so fast and if you are investing in something more steady. Let's say like real estate perhaps usually more steady. Ah, you're getting blown out of the water by some kid who bought dog coins so in the short term. You're just getting absolutely murdered if you're really looking at value which is. 21:17.17 mikebledsoe Yeah. 21:27.27 Max Shank About Theio ah about the Price-to-arings ratio like what's the prospect. But also what's the priceturnings ratio Anyway, the whole point is if you are not going to take a lot of time to make investing your career. You probably are better off just buying the market overall and minimizing. 21:47.14 mikebledsoe Yeah, which did really well this last year but I mean if we adjust for inflation and a few other things probably just did okay. 21:47.20 Max Shank The risk like just by the S and P five hundred. Yeah, yeah. 22:04.50 Max Shank It's a tricky thing because it all comes back to opportunity cost and I use these analogies for exercise quite a lot.. It's like our you know our heavy squats. Good. It's like well maybe. A for who and B can I do something better with that Energy. You know what? I'm saying so the same thing is true with investing. It's not is this good. It's is this better than the other stuff I could own and that's that's why it's so tricky because. You know you look. There are a lot of good companies that you can own that create value that are profitable. There are a lot of companies that you can own that are not profitable and so it's purely based on a prediction that they will create more and more value in the future. 22:46.33 mikebledsoe Yeah, um. 22:55.54 Max Shank Above and Beyond what is already priced. It's very tricky stuff. Anyway, if you you're not going to make it tool belt knowledge. You shouldn't ah fuck around with that. 22:57.25 mikebledsoe Yeah. 23:04.38 mikebledsoe Yeah. Back to learning. 23:14.59 Max Shank You'll learn your lesson really fast if you invest money that you shouldn't a fool and his money are soon parted. 23:20.46 mikebledsoe Yeah, well the 1 thing I notice I'll say one last thing on investing. Ah when you're you're talking about opportunity costs I I watch people try to invest money when they're in credit card debt. So they. 23:35.82 Max Shank Don't do that paid pay down the debt that's stupid. You get the interest tax free. They don't understand money. Yeah, exactly. 23:39.50 mikebledsoe Yeah, the the amount of people that tell that tells me that someone doesn't understand how the numbers work. Yeah, you just don't understand money because your best investment is to not have credit card debt if you have credit card debt. Nothing nothing's going to be that 10 to twenty percent interest you're paying on that. 23:55.15 Max Shank Crazy. Yeah, that's ridiculous I would say pay down the credit card debt and then after that invest in your income you know invest in building a customer list building a product setting up your service-based business more effectively because you can get. 24:03.69 mikebledsoe Yeah. 24:14.74 Max Shank Hundred percent 2 hundred percent thousand percent returns by investing in yourself. But if you get a fifteen percent return year over year in the market. You'd be like Yay. So. 24:23.32 mikebledsoe Well, there's something about money going in your bank account that you didn't have to do shit for I get I got some cheap thrills out of that. 24:28.99 Max Shank Totally yeah, but if you set up ah an online library of products that'll that'll bring in money without any extra effort to plus you plus you own your customer list. 24:44.34 mikebledsoe That's true. That's true. 24:48.74 Max Shank And that's huge I mean you see right now. Some people are are losing their instagrams and facebooks and Youtube accounts for saying things that they I I suppose shouldn't have said because Papa Papa Youtube Said. Ah. Wasn't okay to say those things and you know if you are dependent on another entity entity to store all of your customers for you. They can go away so you got to have your own you got to own your customer list. 25:23.60 mikebledsoe Just made a post about that the other day email is not dead so many who are focused on social media when ah, that's right again if you're looking investing that's ah. 25:24.97 Max Shank That's so important you got to own that customer list. No it works it works until it doesn't. 25:42.30 mikebledsoe That's 1 that's got a ah a black swan event. Ah as a possibility and and that is black swans occur when you're least expecting them and the event that does occur that brings a downturn is not something you ever imagined would happen. 25:44.53 Max Shank Ah. 26:00.42 Max Shank And. 26:01.83 mikebledsoe Just 1 day you wake up and shit hit the fan and so that can happen if Facebook youtube instagram decides or google decides to to stop featuring your stuff you know shadow banning is 1 1 way where it's not. Overt you didn't see you get blocked but all of a sudden your traffic goes to nil and and I've got several friends that's happened to not just in the last couple years but over the last 3 4 years there's ah there's a very clear. 26:20.82 Max Shank Um, wild. 26:38.69 mikebledsoe Ah I Guess attack I don't know I hate using the word attack in this sense. But there's a clear diversion of attention away from things and people that are actually helpful towards big corporate desires and. And wanting people to adopt more main you know Mainstream corporate services and products. 26:59.75 Max Shank Well. Um, hey man ah censorship is an admission of guilt if you ask me? Yeah, yeah, So as long as we're on the learning subject. 27:09.46 mikebledsoe I like that I like that censorship is an admission of guilt. 27:23.97 Max Shank We can we we um problem maybe ah what is rewarded is repeated. That's ah, that's a big thing about learning. So there's. 27:25.75 mikebledsoe I think we've talked about learning for 5 out of twenty five minutes so far. 27:40.30 Max Shank Conscious learning where you're like oh I'm going to learn to play the piano or I'm going to learn how to speak german and then there's unconscious learning it could be conscious also but where you adapt to certain patterns. You know your phone. May notice that you prefer watching animal videos at night. But you prefer watching news videos in the morning I know that was that was what I noticed interestingly enough when I was just still logging in. To youtube instead of using a separate browser and not being logged in and just searching for what I want and it would give me like you know would give me like John stossel and all these different guys who I actually trust and then at night it would show me more like. Animal videos like learn about the peacock spider and things like that so you will um basically be guided throughout your day by algorithms that are digital or otherwise. And you develop these patterns that are repeated over and over again. So it's very difficult to get out of those patterns once you're in and that's why having a pattern break is so valuable. 29:02.35 mikebledsoe Yeah, well, it's Interesting. You come out the unconscious learning and I read this book called Spiritual enlightenment. The damnedest thing by Jed Mckenna have you read that 1 okay. I Think you really enjoy it total. Yeah yeah. 29:20.99 Max Shank I've only read like 4 or 5 books in my life total. Yeah, that includes Dr. seuss books. The loax was good. 29:31.70 mikebledsoe Ah, so in that book he talks about how the mind is built and he says that people like to visualize the mind like it's this beautiful web and I've got this thought over here this belief or this idea and it's over here and then ah and. String goes across and it connects over here and this is beautiful intricate web that just it's infinite in Nature. That's how I used to think about the mind and the fact that he outlines that in the book tells me that other people think about the mind similarly and. He talks about how how ah language is laid out when as we as we get older and the order in which we learn words impacts how our mind works and what those words mean to us at that age and how that impacts the mind and. But he what he finally gets to in this explanation is that people think that mine is this beautiful integrated web and it's really just a rat's nest. It's just all jumbled up you and I could be born at the same time same place same parents in our interpretation of. The world is gonna be different and and you only need 1 interpretation early on kind of like the butterfly effect right? He's like you've got this butterfly over here that causes a hurricane on the other side of the world. Ah, there's 1 1 instance where you interpret something your mom or dad did at the age of 2 that shape your personality in a way that the impact the lens that you look through for the rest of your life and so you completely neglect certain pieces of information and you collect the evidence to support your your lens. 31:25.90 Max Shank Is confirmation Bias right. 31:25.63 mikebledsoe Over here, right? and nobody is nobody is safe from that confirmation Bias we we all do it and so that's 1 thing that when we if we're talking about learning needs to be acknowledged is that. Much of what we we believe to be true just is not true and it's good to question those be able to question those thoughts and and do some unlearning because learning something new I I found to be a lot easier to learn new things. When I look at what must be unlearned and that's not necessarily an easy task. So the way I look at it is ah it's easier to to write on a if we're thinking about a. Ah, a hard drive I want an empty hard drive and I want to be able just put things on top of that or what may be better is up. Yeah, or or you got a page you're you're writing you're writing your thoughts on a page with a pencil and. 32:30.10 Max Shank Empty your cup like that ah martial arts example. 32:42.41 mikebledsoe Ah, you're just having to rewrite So you've got these thoughts that you believe to be true and you're trying to overwrite them So you're just trying to make the words on top of those other words darker and thinking that you're going to be able to change those thoughts and at some point those darker words may overshadow. 32:51.17 Max Shank The. 33:01.11 mikebledsoe Words that were previously on the page. But why don't you just use an eraser first using erase or era words then write. It'll be much more clear it. So it it may take a little more effort in the beginning but long run it's way easier or if you start with a blank page instead of a. 33:06.78 Max Shank A. 33:19.59 mikebledsoe Page that already has writing on it. These are the things that this is how I think about the mind and when I'm learning something new I ask myself? what do I need to unlearn before I learn this. 33:31.89 Max Shank I think part of the reason it's hard for people to let go or erase or burn ego death is because they identify so much with it whether it's ah good or bad or neutral. It's familiar and we gain a lot of our sense of stability through our self-im image and so if you have a self image that is maybe harmful to you. You know some people are ah shoot all kinds of things anorexic. Self-loathing whatever there are all these manifest obese. Um, you know to protect yourself. So for example, a lot of people are really overweight just because they never want to have a chance to be rejected in the first place but if so if they're just this big fat person. No 1 that'll never even happen. So you get so identified with this identity that it blocks out any potential for change and that's why any kind of change requires some sort of removal of material like you have to chip away. At the ego in order to make room for something new and different. 34:51.53 mikebledsoe You know. 34:57.42 mikebledsoe So aside from chipping away the ego and unlearning First what are some? What are some things that you put into a place I'm a big fan of your your five minute strategy. 34:57.74 Max Shank The. 35:11.97 Max Shank Um, yeah, yeah, there's sort of a quantum effect of 5 minute blocks because it feels easier to start psychologically and it's it's so easy for me to. 35:13.44 mikebledsoe For learning new things. Can you explain that 1 35:31.81 Max Shank Just jump around from thing to thing and put stuff off. So if you do like usually five minutes the word just comes right before it. Oh it's just five minutes but ten minutes feels too long and with my mobility program I did five minute flow I get. So many versions of the same message which is hilarious which is you know I started doing five minute flows. But now I can't keep them under ten minutes I can't keep them under fifteen minutes and yeah 36:05.94 mikebledsoe I've got a problem. How do we fix this? ah. 36:08.90 Max Shank Right? Exactly? No, That's that's exactly the thing. It's a scam and I tricked. You guys. So haha I tricked you into getting started which is where the inertia is and once you start moving then it's really easy to keep going with regard to learning you don't. Want to practice a skill poorly. You're better off to take a break and come back and do it Again. Probably the biggest fallacy with this is within like the fitness thing. It's like you're pushing through. The the pain or pushing through the struggle or like you know, but you wouldn't do that if you were practicing shooting baskets or hitting golf balls. You would try to stay as fresh as possible and that's really 1 of the key elements for optimal learning. Is you. 37:03.39 mikebledsoe I think. 37:06.39 Max Shank Go in you do the thing total focus and then you pull away from it and then you go back in total focus and then you pull away from it and if you've ever done something where it requires total focus like tennis or fencing or fighting. Um, or even like ah a video game where you have to constantly either like move left or right let's say to avoid obstacles the ability to focus and not break that focus for a long period of time is something that you can practice as well. But you will. Improve that ability better if you take some small breaks. 37:48.26 mikebledsoe Yeah, the the increasing the capacity for focus the way that I like to approach that is I can tell when I'm losing focus. So. Um, working on I like to work on 1 task at a time I think that's important if people are trying to multitask they're they're so unfocused the whole time. They don't even realize when their their capacity for focus is going down because they just are starting so low already and what I like to do is set up a timer. And so I know that I can work if it's before noon I can do a ninety minute work session completely focused I use brain fm I use a bi neural beats type of thing to help me focus and my phone's on a timer. So the music will stop. When I'm supposed to stop my work and so most the time if it's before noon and I can work in ninety minute sprint I don't move out of my seat I'm in front of my computer and I am I am knocking out whatever needs to get knocked out and then the afternoons I noticed that. I don't have the same amount of juice might be seventy five minutes as the day goes on my my amount my periods of time of work separated by a break becomes shorter now. 39:12.53 Max Shank So that's wisdom is knowing yourself and acting accordingly. 39:16.92 mikebledsoe Yeah, and what what got me there was I got into ah started getting into deep work zones which can take twenty thirty minutes to get into the the space of deep work the the amount of. Focus that you have is basically what I'm describing and that that level of focus can be achieved a lot sooner I can achieve that focus a lot sooner now because I've done it so many times I've gotten into that really deep work zones. So frequently that my my brain knows how it goes it says oh this is what we're doing now shut everything else out focus on this 1 thing and so when you get into this deep work zone enough. You can tell when your mind is starting to leave it. So. 40:08.77 Max Shank Free. 40:10.99 mikebledsoe when I when I'm reading something and I read the same paragraph 3 times you know I have to reread the email that I am going through or I you know I basically just start making mistakes mistakes or needing to repeat things to try to remember or whatever it is. Ah. I can so I'm watching my mind begin to drift and so what I've done is is instead of working through that empowering through that. What I've done is I go oh I gotta take a break I go for a walk I go check my mail which is you know quarter mile away I go. Take a nap I ah you know, go play with someone's dog. Whatever so. Ah, match gave me a good look. Ah so I I know when to take a break because the mind works very much so like muscles in the body and and you know in the fitness industry. It is very interesting that people have this tendency to. Push through the pain and basically practice shitty movement they practice moving poorly and they practice getting injured is what they're doing and so ah I think ah I think a large part of. That reason is because there are certain benefits to pushing to that point of failure but they are overemphasized in the fitness industry and then in addition to that people people just don't understand. What poor movement is and what good movement is and they don't understand they're they're practicing to get injured and then of course if you throw in something like Crossfit now you have this competitive competition component that is going to drive people to do things that they don't really they don't really have the capacity 42:07.66 Max Shank Well, we've we've learned a false image of fitness I think so that's something really interesting about the things that you learn is you may very well have learned a false premise. So even if you do everything. 42:08.40 mikebledsoe To do so. 42:15.37 mikebledsoe Yeah. 42:27.29 Max Shank Allegedly, correct if the entire if it's built on a false Premise. You're totally Screwed. You have like no chance of optimizing the amount of effort that you put in so with fitness For example. If Your athletic capacity is not increasing from your health and fitness practice or your movement practice. Whatever you're probably wasting your time I mean a lot of people use fitness as a way to burn Energy. With no rhyme or reason it's like putting too much gasoline on your in your car like overeating and then putting your car up on blocks and just running the engine. So It doesn't overflow. That's like 1 of the worst things you can do um because just like with investing. What you're sacrificing for doing that Bs is the chance to do something that could improve your overall capacity your ability to fight your ability to run your ability to play I mean Ah, that's the tricky thing about opportunity cost is you're sacrificing. Everything else you could be doing to do this. So If you're not enthusiastic about it. It's like dude, why? why bother there are plenty of good options and you know getting stuck into the whole thing about aesthetics is ah is another tricky thing. That's just based on. 43:49.84 mikebledsoe Go. 44:02.99 Max Shank What we've learned you know like I always joke about the aztec aesthetic which is like a big fat guy at the top of a temple watching the heads roll down like he was the best thing you could be a big fat guy and then you know over time sexy lady. Has changed from fat lady to thin victorian era plump and then we went through like the Ninety s or something where the supermodels weighed like 85 pounds and now we're kind of coming round to like thick is good again. So it's all. 44:39.33 mikebledsoe Yeah. 44:42.50 Max Shank It's all a matter of that individual perspective and that's why you can think of your focus like a lantern or a laser.. That's what I usually tell people is you can soften it like a lantern and that's for a martial artist may have heard the term soft eyes before. Like sometimes I'll practice while I'm juggling and I won't look at the balls I'll juggle but I'll be trying to take in as much other stuff as Possible. So I can focus right in your eyes right now or I can step back and I can be as aware as possible of everything else in the room. 45:09.17 mikebledsoe Ah. 45:20.51 Max Shank And it's a really big difference in terms of how you focus so being able to cycle between those is extremely valuable because you don't want to always be laserfocused sometimes you want to have that wider perspective. Of what's going on and that's usually where joy and gratitude can come from is when you see the big picture rather than like oh my god my my life sucks compared to that guy over there and I hate that guy. He's got a nice, whatever and you know you get stuck. 45:59.36 mikebledsoe Yeah. 45:59.65 Max Shank Ah, tunnel vision right? So being able to zoom in and zoom out and realizing that your concepts of good and bad good and evil are are learned. You know, ah lions don't worry about that. Lions don't have a concept of good and evil they have a concept of danger from like other lions and they have a concept of hunger and that's it they don't have a concept of good and evil it's ridiculous. It's like totally a human invention I mean there are a lot of. Old stories that talk about that. What's that the wasn't that where eve ate the Apple wasn't it. The tree of the knowledge of good and evil so that the whole thing is just having this awakening that's crazy uncomfortable that. 46:41.45 mikebledsoe Yeah, yeah. 46:53.50 Max Shank Your whole idea of this is good and this is bad is just implanted from from the last guy 46:59.48 mikebledsoe Yeah, yeah, are yeah I mean anything that's conceptual in nature that is that that we can't point at physically is usually passed down from from somebody else and. 47:14.59 Max Shank Yeah, so if you focus on things that are intrinsically enjoyable then you will find the things that will make you the most enthusiastic you will naturally put more time into learning you'll. 47:17.61 mikebledsoe Very interesting. 47:33.24 Max Shank Be interested in learning the finer details. You know I sometimes I say it's not exactly true. But I think the sentiment is right? The only difficult thing is something you don't want to do if you want to do it then it doesn't matter. 47:47.39 mikebledsoe E. 47:52.80 Max Shank Like you you would just want to do it and if you don't want to do it then it's probably going to be more difficult. So. 47:53.43 mikebledsoe Right. 47:59.67 mikebledsoe It's why people look at people doing a crossfi workout and go I can't I don't know understand how you do it? How do you push through whatever not realizing that that person is doing that workout loves doing that workout for whatever reason or they've at least learned to love the workout. 48:11.80 Max Shank Um, yeah, um, well and sometimes you can sacrifice the temporary feeling for a bigger picture win like I actually never um, enjoyed lifting weights that much as weird as that might sound. Just did it because I wanted to be the most Alpha guy Possible. So now that I'm in a place where I'm a lot more honest with myself about what I'm doing just to get a result or what I'm enjoying I do a lot of weird stuff at the like I enjoy like explosive things like heavy lifting is like okay. Do some but I can play tennis for like 2 hours and I'm dying to play more tennis because it's so Fun. It's so engaging I'm using all these different skills. So That's intrinsically enjoyable to me but you know the idea of doing like a Crossfit workout. 48:56.40 mikebledsoe Yeah. 49:09.73 Max Shank I Don't even see the point of it for example so you change over time. 49:11.51 mikebledsoe Yeah I Want to go 1 thing I Want to ah point out I mean you said a lot of really good stuff. There 1 is how you how you use your focus and how you can go from laser focus to that soft focus and I think about that as contraction and expansion. And if you spend too much time in contraction then you won't be able to expand very much if you if you spend too much time in that expansion. It's gonna be difficult to to concentrate that that attention. But um, being able to cycle between the 2 is gonna give you more capacity for each. So. The same way then analogy with um, you know somebody who's really athletic their muscle needs to be able to contract incredibly fast but also be able to relax incredibly fast so you got to be able to snap that muscle and it's got to be able to snap back into. 50:01.41 Max Shank Her. 50:08.33 mikebledsoe And to just relaxation and those are the people who are the most athletic have the most endurance all these things um and the same thing with with attention. Can you play? Can you go that soft focus. Can you go that that laser focus and I think about it just like breathing. You got an inhale and you've got an exhale. Got to spend time in either. So I do want to hit that and then the other thing you talked about is the false premise and it's very interesting because that's 1 of the things that I I see creates a lot of disagreement in the world is well 1 is. Which we talk about regularly which is semantics people just are they don't even realize that they're in disagreement about the meaning of words and so they think the word that someone else is using means something than what they intended it to be so um, it's that that's number 1 I think number 2 is and what we've witnessed over the last couple years is the premise in which people are coming from are different and they're arguing about stuff that's at the surface or they're focused on what's on the surface and not looking at the premise in which everything else is based. So. Ah, it's what's that's a term in Mathematics. Ah for for assumptions I forget what it is maybe it'll come to me but basically it's it's ah the premise that you know 2 plus because 2 plus 2 equals four then. All this other things and mathematics must be true because 1 plus 1 equals 2 that then means and so what I've what I've witnessed especially in like say so the scientific world and is ah. 51:45.39 Max Shank Um, right? or. 52:00.53 mikebledsoe We see these big shifts in how science is viewed when someone comes out and questions the validity of the premise in which we've been operating from and so ah, there's. 52:14.57 Max Shank Often Those guys get burned at the stake historically speaking. 52:18.95 mikebledsoe Yeah, they get historically speaking it. You do not be want to be the 1 that that ah challenges consensus. Yeah yeah, well, ah well that that's the other thing too is be be aware of of ah. 52:25.51 Max Shank Um, don't kill the messenger I think we've heard before. 52:38.25 mikebledsoe Consensus group think and anytime anyone uses the word is it Ah, who was it. Ah, the guy who wrote Jurassic Part Michael Crichton I you. 52:46.69 Max Shank That guy is an animal I recommend anybody go listen to some of his talks Michael criton is a fucking animal. That's a genius. 52:55.65 mikebledsoe Yeah, he you you sent me a video of his and I is an hour long talk and I ate it up. It was so good but he talks about how Consensus science is not science. It's. 53:05.67 Max Shank Yo, ah. 53:12.84 mikebledsoe Anyone who starts using the word Consensus science is actually anti. It's an anti-science concept. You can't state of fear is talk. Yeah, so you know just throwing that out. There is a warning anytime anyone starts using consensus science. Ah. 53:17.75 Max Shank Um, it's called State of fear. That's the name of the talk I think I think so yeah. 53:32.56 mikebledsoe That's that's when you know you should turn around and run. 53:33.61 Max Shank Well, you got to consider the source. He also introduced me to a concept called gelmon amnesia which is where like you're an expert in fitness so you open up the paper and you read a fitness article and you're like this is totally false. This is ridiculous. But then. You forget that that was totally false so you read the rest of the paper as if it's true. It's like wait a second like fool me once shame on you fool me twice shame on me. 53:56.45 mikebledsoe Ah. 54:02.42 mikebledsoe Yeah, yeah, but we have we have a whole world of people running around with false premise theyre running around with um that this is I'm not going to say that I know how all this works but there's 1 thing that I've noticed. 54:09.61 Max Shank Right. 54:21.90 mikebledsoe But you know I listen to people who are healthy so people who are healthy and have spent a lot of time thinking about these things long before the pandemic those are the people who I like to talk to and think about what they say but 1 1 premise would be germ theory versus Terrain Theory. And ah germ theory is a false premise because it's not even being considered a it's considered to be a fact versus the way it's being treated is it's not being treated as a theory. Ah, and that's 1 thing I'm noticing in society as a whole is that people are treating theories as if they're facts I was just I was just ah and this is how far I'll take it is I was watching a ah. My girlfriend was watching like an animals show is basically like Discovery Channel you know, looking at these cats and it starts off with eleven million years ago this predator descended into this region of the world and I go. Are they fucking serious. They just state that that like it was a fact I'm going I'm going No fucking wonder adults are running around the world acting like things are facts that are theories or that are just ideas presented by other people. Yeah, you may have a lot of evidence to suggest that but it's still a theory and so what we're experiencing right now is we have this mass adoption because because traditional or I'll say conventional medicine in the United States is based on germ theory When. Ah, the when if you were to just look through this pandemic through the lens of of terrain theory Everything that's being advised for people to do sounds insane. But. 56:26.81 Max Shank Yeah, of course you got to be careful who your mentors are like with kind of bringing it back to learning like who do you trust? what's hilarious is that so many more people trust Joe Rogan than they trust any of the other people allegedly reporting on what's going on. 56:29.76 mikebledsoe But if you. 56:43.89 mikebledsoe M. 56:46.27 Max Shank And there are so many premises that we've been talking about here's ah okay, like obesity for example, obesity rates are like through the roof so you could argue that most people kill themselves because obesity is like the easiest way to die quicker. From all causes whether it's diabetes, Heart disease etc like all that stuff. Um, if you're weak and fat. You die Faster. There's no question about that. But I think the biggest false premise is that we should run people through the same filter. That's exactly 1 of the reasons why school is so catastrophically bad like I don't think ah ah like about some things I'm like really dumb but about ah like I almost got held back in school like that's crazy when you think about it like I'm not like too dumb you know what? I'm saying. 57:34.22 mikebledsoe M. 57:41.46 mikebledsoe You're 1 of the smartest people I know so that. 57:41.77 Max Shank So the whole nah I mean but I've only like read a few books isn't that all that matters. No I think smart is about how efficiently you can live the way you want to live like if you're living the way you want without expending a lot of energy then you're smart. Most people just want to. Ah, peer Smart I don't frankly give a flying fuck how I appear to people as long as I can live in an efficient and effortless way as long as I can move in efficient and effortless way and I think that's why people like fighting that's why I like it because it's very honest, you got a winner and you got a loser. You know I like playing tennis because it's honest I can't be like ah that ball was in no it was fucking out you missed bitch like try again. Ah so the the whole the whole premise that we should be run through the same filter is ridiculous. The whole premise of health is ridiculous. The whole idea that we should just blindly follow what a few people say we should is ridiculous like there's like a list that goes on and on I don't have it right in front of me but I wrote a bunch of the stuff that I thought was wrong about it down. But. I mean it's it's the same um as anything else. There are so many false premises out there that will lead you down a path because you can have a valid thought process and those are the 2 pillars of truth right? You have a true premise or false premise and you have a valid thought process. Or an invalid thought process. So a lot of the time you have a false premise with a valid thought process so it looks good. You're like yeah that that does like make like the logic make sense but because the premise is false everything else just goes completely out the window and that's. Kind of where I tie it back into where you put your faith or where you put authority into because when it comes to learning 1 of the quickest ways 1 of the best ways to learn is through a good teacher. But if you choose the wrong teacher. That is also a sure-fire way to fuck you up, you are going to inherit all of his ego bullshit I mean look have you ever seen youth sports probably like the parents and the coaches. 59:54.20 mikebledsoe Here. 01:00:03.44 mikebledsoe Oh yeah. 01:00:10.84 Max Shank Are doing a lot of harm to those little fuckers especially if they're trying to live out their dreams or like how about how about like a beauty Pageant Mom I mean when it comes to learning you got to really consider who you try to emulate like there are people out there who seem very healthy, Very joyful. 01:00:11.35 mikebledsoe Oh yeah. 01:00:30.39 Max Shank And loving relationships and maybe they're not behind the facade so you got to you got to do some digging to really see like do I want to try to emulate. Do I want a monkey see Monkey do that person's life. It's a big deal. 01:00:44.10 mikebledsoe Yeah, that is a big deal. Ah so I I sat down on an airplane on Saturday and this really old indian guy that's down next to me. 01:01:01.65 Max Shank Dot or feather. 01:01:03.48 mikebledsoe And dot and ah he sits a real indian he sits down next to me like from India ah, he had the accent and everything you know he he spent some time India and pakistan and. 01:01:11.84 Max Shank Yeah I get it. No, you're right. 01:01:20.77 mikebledsoe Sits down he starts talking I mean he was referencing something things that were happening in the sixty s so this is how old this guy is and do you have to go? Oh maybe it was on my hand. Ah I think late. Anyways. 01:01:28.30 Max Shank That wasn't on my end. 01:01:40.32 mikebledsoe Um, I sit down. We start talking and I come to find out. He's a ah substitute teacher and in Florida and I was asking him all these questions about does he enjoy it. So um, by the way this guy had a stroke the month before so he was he was being a He was a little slow so I actually spent the flight helping him do things like open up his his chips and getting him to the bathroom and all these things but he sat there and just taught me shit the whole time. So. Ah, my girlfriend was blown away. She's like why did you like that guy I was like he was teaching me the whole time. Ah so 1 of the things he says is he goes you know what the problem with kids these days is I say don't know how to think they only know what they know and he says ah that. They believe that 2 plus 2 equals four which is true but they think that that's the only thing that equals four they don't realize that 3 plus 1 equal 4 this is the analogy he was using. You know they don't realize that 4 times 1 equals four. They only know that 2 plus 2 equals four. He says. 01:02:50.40 Max Shank It's kind of. 01:02:52.63 mikebledsoe They only know what they know they don't know how they got there and and and. 01:02:56.58 Max Shank I Know exactly what you're talking about.. It's like a reflexive fear-based reaction to like hey don't worry I know don't worry I know they're like regurgitating stuff that they learned but they don't have like any kind of logical. Thought process that can help them discover something different or New. They don't have a set of tactics that can help them learn something better. 01:03:23.95 mikebledsoe Right? So he said that and I go Wow. That's such a really simple way of explaining critical thinking versus whatever, whatever, not critical thinking would be but being a dumbass. Ah, is and so ah, yeah, if anyone been. 01:03:47.61 Max Shank What's more important. What's more important you own a business I own a business. What's more important if you're going to hire somebody that they already know a bunch of things or that they have the ability to learn new things. 01:03:54.80 mikebledsoe What. 01:04:01.22 mikebledsoe Oh definitely the ability to learn new things. Um, well, there's there's 2 different types of employees. You got the people that that Mcdonald's is shopping for which is we just want people to be able to follow the steps. Yeah, we want robots. 01:04:10.45 Max Shank Ah. 01:04:17.62 Max Shank Automatons. Yeah. 01:04:20.35 mikebledsoe Um, and then you have you know Google executives Those people are hired because they're not going to. You know they're going to create the rules they're going to think of new things right. 01:04:27.94 Max Shank They can see the big picture they can. They can think of what to do. It's like the difference between being a ah Master chef and a soou chef where you're just preparing the diced vegetables. 01:04:40.20 mikebledsoe Yeah, and the the problem is is we're we're closing out 2021 here in the next couple months and ah, all those jobs can be that don't require creativity are going away. They're being replaced by robots. Ah, those amazon jobs won't be around much longer truck truckers won't be around in 1015 years that won't be a thing and that makes a but lot of people that's a lot of employment so you know that we're 60000. 01:05:16.63 Max Shank We'll probably go to more service business. 01:05:18.99 mikebledsoe You know we're now 60000 ah truck drivers short in the United states as part of the you know? yeah I read. 01:05:23.57 Max Shank I I didn't know that I met a guy who I thought was really dumb but he was actually really smart because he was like a pretty young kid when I was doing Moyai and he owned like 5 semi trucks by the time he was twenty 2 Did n't graduate high school and he started driving a truck and then he bought another truck and then he bought another truck and he just he was like retired he was like 25 years old is like it was great but he sounded dumb and about a lot of no, he really did. 01:05:51.19 mikebledsoe Wow brilliant. 01:06:00.36 mikebledsoe Well, he found his strategy. 01:06:02.16 Max Shank Ah, nice guy exactly That's what I mean like you you don't want to compare everybody with the same measuring stick because however you measure yourself That's also going to be the same stick that you beat yourself with basically well which if you're into that I mean that's fine. But. 01:06:08.13 mikebledsoe Right. 01:06:19.37 mikebledsoe I've always thought of myself as quite the masochist so works out. 01:06:25.54 Max Shank That's why we get along so well I'm a little more sadistic and you're a little more masochistic. 01:06:27.42 mikebledsoe Am Yeah, you're the dom fits. 01:06:31.64 Max Shank I Think everybody knew that already. 01:06:38.24 Max Shank Ah. 01:06:38.28 mikebledsoe Ah, alright, let's wrap this bad boy up any any closing thoughts. Yeah. 01:06:43.66 Max Shank On learning. Ah when it comes to learning the most important thing is that it's important to you that you use it and that you continue to use it and. When it comes to learning movement. Probably the thing that people miss the most is going super slow like even a super slow walk across the room. Super slow walk across the room with your eyes closed take the normal movements you do close your eyes try to do it as slow as possible. Try to do it as fast as possible. Try to change the angle a little bit and deliberately go outside of that normal range and there are a lot of other ways but I'll just keep it brief I would say maybe changing the speeds is like 1 of the most powerful ways. Especially really slowing down and. Consciously moving through the entire movement and then just be careful who you choose as a mentor for overall learning. 01:07:44.74 mikebledsoe Yeah, love it. Yeah, stop listening to our show. Um, now you so. My my final thoughts are what what are your be intentional. So the best way to learn is to be intentional with each moment that goes by and that's something that's practicing itself but ask yourself why you're doing something so as max was talking about. Um, learning a new skill. Why am I why am I squatting today you know am I doing it fast am I doing it slow. Why always be in the why why you're doing something and the more time you spend in the intention and understanding the why. But when you're doing anything. Probably find yourself take more time take more care and the quality of that go up I think that quality is definitely the result of learning so that's all I got Appreciate. Conversation today max where can people find you. 01:08:58.41 Max Shank Thank you brother I can be found at Maxshank Dot Com or at macshank everywhere you can Also Google me, there's also there's a ton of stuff out there. 01:09:06.35 mikebledsoe Whatever you do don't get google my name. Ah it'll be you get a mixed bag of things you find me find me on Instagram at mike underscore blood. So and. 01:09:15.46 Max Shank Don't really. If there was ever way to make people want to Google you that was it. 01:09:25.00 mikebledsoe Ah Shh telling him my secret later yall love me max. 01:09:31.43 Max Shank Love you buddy.
In this Self-Coaching episode Lauren and I talk about improving your social/people skills. By injecting empathetic communication into your social exchanges you can learn to progress from small talk to real talk. Becoming a better communicator means learning to overcome emotional hesitation by developing your self-trust muscle. Self-trust begins with a willingness to risk connecting with others. You can keep it simple at first, perhaps just a nod or smile as you pass someone on the street or at the office. Find out that the world doesn't end if you open yourself up to others. So, stop holding your head down avoiding others, make yourself connect. Stop acting like you're so vulnerable that you have to protect yourself from…from what? Be honest, what are you afraid of…embarrassment? Vulnerability? Stop running. Stop hiding. Start realizing that with practice your self-trust muscle grow, your confidence will grow, and your world will no longer be hijacked by insecurity. And what exactly is self-trust? It's a willingness to risk believing in yourself. And does it work? Just ask Dr. Seuss: “Yes indeed, yes indeed! Ninety-eight and three-quarters percent guaranteed!”
A Hell On Earth vibe check with guests Marcy and Thrift Store Jobber. Check out Marcy's Twitch channel and her podcast X Over Go to Thrift Store Jobber's Etsy shop why dontcha Listen to David Hates David Help our pal Sally out getting plane tickets to see her girlfriend
I'm currently reading Ryan Holiday's Courage is Calling, and he talked about a writer, Varlam Shalamov, who, in the 1930s, was sentenced to hard labor in a Soviet gulag. This passage stood out at me:“There he was in one of the darkest places a human could be, and what did he find? He found deep insight into the human condition. “I discovered that the world should be divided not into good and bad people but into cowards and non-cowards,” he wrote. “Ninety-five percent of cowards are capable of the vilest things, lethal things, at the mildest threat.”When we ask about courage, we are thinking about it precisely wrong. It's not our question to ask. For it is we who are being asked the question.”We live in an age of cowards. Of people going along with the crowd because it's the easy thing to do. It feels safer to throw stones at the other side than it does to stand for something positive and hopeful. There's risk in questioning things and seeking other perspectives, whereas joining in the mob costs us nothing (except perhaps our character).But maybe things have always been this way. It's still difficult for most people to wrap their minds around the Holocaust, how so many people just went along with it. The more I learn about psychology, the more I understand how it happened, but it doesn't make the lack of courage any more appalling. As a kid learning about WWII, I had no doubt in my mind that I would have done the right thing had I been in Germany at that time. I'm less sure now that I'm older but I hope I would have acted like a man I learned about when visiting Berlin's Topography of Terror. In a black and white photo at this museum, I saw a crowd of mostly men raising their arms in the nazi salute but one man did not join them.Caption to this photo: “Conformity and refusal: Spectators and workers of the Blohm & Voss shipyards during the singing of the national anthem and the Horst Wessel Song following the ‘Fuhrer's address' given by Adolf Hitler on the occasion of the launch of the German Navy training ship ‘Horst Wessel' Hamburg, June 13, 1936. While all those present raise their right arms in the obligatory ‘German salute' one man refuses and crosses his arms. We have varying, sometimes conflicting, information on the identity of this brave non-conformist. His name was probably August Landmesser.” Wow. Can you imagine yourself doing the same? Really think about that now and how courage plays out in your own life. How often do you stay silent or go along with the crowd because it feels better than standing apart?Courage doesn't have to be as grand as being part of the nazi resistance. It can be as small as offering to help a stranger on the sidewalk. In your mind, you might debate, “Well, do they really need my help? Would I offend them if I offered to open the door for them?” And you might really worry about offending them, but you're likely also worried, maybe more so, that they would make you feel bad if they took offense to your offer.Courage is about stretching out of your comfort zone and doing the right thing. You won't always get congratulated for that, but, when it comes to helping people out, they are almost always appreciative of kind gestures.This episode discusses what courage is anIt's not super easy for U.S. citizens to get visas to live and work abroad (and the U.S. gov doesn't make it easy for people to come in either). But millions of Americans have figured out how to create a life overseas, and so can you.Here's my cheat sheet of the nine easiest countries to move to from the U.S.https://www.sarahmikutel.com/countryguide
The boys recap Michigan Basketball's victory over Tarleton and give their take on how to fix the Wolverines' underwhelming start to the year. They also provide the perfect game plan to end the decade of L's to OSU and do a thanksgiving dish draft to celebrate the holiday. Crack a cold one and enjoy the show. All of our Maize n Brew podcasts are available wherever you get your shows! Subscribe, rate, and leave us a review: Apple | Spotify | Google | Stitcher | Megaphone Twitter: https://twitter.com/MaizenBrew Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/maizenbrewsbn/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/maizenbrewsbn YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCZBJuf_eohVzbfZmZzMIdqA Discord: https://discord.com/invite/vZMsMTF Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Michigan. Ohio State. Big Ten East title. Potential College Football Playoff birth. Everything is on the line Saturday in the Big House when Ohio State pays Michigan a visit. Luke Ghiardi, Justin Roh of Blue by Ninety, and Von Lozon break down the game and the key matchups. All of our Maize n Brew podcasts are available wherever you get your shows! Subscribe, rate, and leave us a review: Apple | Spotify | Google | Stitcher | Megaphone Twitter: https://twitter.com/MaizenBrew Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/maizenbrewsbn/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/maizenbrewsbn Discord: https://discord.com/invite/vZMsMTF Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
00:00.00 Max Shank Welcome back to the Monday morning podcast with max and mike today we are going to talk about relationships because I don't know mike I've noticed that most people ruin their lives with just 1 or 2 bad relationships or maybe it becomes a pattern but. I think 1 of the biggest traps is to fall into the common way that people relate with each other especially with romantic relationships I'm sure you have some experience and have seen that as well. 00:30.70 mikebledsoe Yeah I think most people have we go back to their first relationship. They had their first girlfriend or first boyfriend. Whatever it is and probably for most people every person they've dated since that person has just been a new iteration of the same thing. They they'd likely relate to them the same way. They they find a lot of things that are in common in the beginning. It's really easy to overlook the the all the bad things. All the things that that may have gone south in your previous relationship because well you're. 01:02.63 Max Shank To name. 01:08.48 mikebledsoe You're on drugs when you're in love I'd say the first six months and. 01:10.20 Max Shank No doubt so you think the first relationship sets the tone for all the rest of them. 01:15.13 mikebledsoe I Think you I think your relationship with your father sets a tone for all your romantic relationships because when you're when you're born. 01:24.32 Max Shank That explains why I go for beefy guys with big mustache. I was wondering what that was. 01:32.20 mikebledsoe Ah, well this this is the framework I've been operating from over the last few years when when looking at relationships and that is when you're born you are. Ah yeah, it's your first love the so your mother. 01:43.53 Max Shank I remember you telling me this you said your father is your first friend first relationship outside yourself. 01:51.85 mikebledsoe When you yeah when you're born and you come out of your mother's womb you you were inside of her and then you should at least go to the breast pretty early after after being born and you really associate with your mother. So your mother really. Teaches you how to have a relationship with yourself and then your father is the first person outside of yourself that you have a relationship with so whether you're a man or a woman. He really sets the stage for ah how you relate to people and not necessarily just romantic relationships. Um, and ah I've also heard paul check talk about this which is you're usually ah attracted to a woman who has a similar body type to your mother. So if your mother had big breasts you probably are attracted to big breasts and so on and so forth I don't think that's always true but I imagine it's a fair. Fair assumption. So. 02:48.95 Max Shank So so basically what you're saying is that the relationship you have with your dad and the physical appearance of your mom guides a lot of your selections in choosing a mate. 03:04.82 mikebledsoe Yeah I would say people yeah people who haven't done a lot of work are more likely to just fall into those patterns. That's so I'm not saying this is an absolute. It's comfortable. It's safe. 03:07.24 Max Shank From a very young age. 03:14.00 Max Shank It feels comfortable. It probably that that makes sense it would feel what would feel more comfortable than someone who acts like your dad and looks like your mom. But. 03:25.82 mikebledsoe Ah, yeah. Um, yeah, yeah, well well people people hate change right? And so well what they do is your parents really teach you how to relate to other people. They they teach you? How love looks you know people who grew up in a home where the parents are fighting all the time. Maybe there's physical abuse. 03:30.77 Max Shank I mean I guess it's familiar of god. 03:50.35 mikebledsoe And then they get an abuse of relationships. It's like well they don't They aren't experiencing love unless that experience is happening. Um and what's that. 03:56.73 Max Shank I Think that takes us to the next phase really well which is how your parents romantic relationship looks to you because you're going to. You're going to probably copy that to a certain extent or you're at least going to say oh that's normal. 04:08.41 mikebledsoe That's true. 04:15.87 Max Shank So whether your parents are very cold and standoffish and not very affectionate toward each other or whether you live with a single dad who's just a casanova taking home a different lady every other Night. You're probably going to just mimic. That instinctually I guess or naturally you're going to mimic those behaviors. 04:36.83 mikebledsoe Yeah, and it's really interesting because a lot of people don't think that they are but they're out they the people on the outside looking in are going. Oh that's totally what you're doing but because it is so normal to people they don't They don't even see it. Ah yeah, it's ah. 04:55.62 Max Shank Well you see ah some couples like look almost like carbon copies of each other too. You see a guy in a gal who look almost the same they look like they could be brother and sister. They're not in the cases that I'm talking I mean I know that happens sometimes but. 04:55.64 mikebledsoe It's fascinating stuff. 05:03.48 mikebledsoe Yet. 05:12.62 mikebledsoe Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's ah, there's a name for that that I've seen a chart somewhere. It says like the different types of coupling that can occur and. 05:14.38 Max Shank And the cases I'm talking about they just find someone who looks like them. 05:26.85 Max Shank Man. 05:29.39 mikebledsoe A lot of times if that type of coupling is occurring then you know there's likely ah a repetition of patterns. There's likely like gonna you're gonna feel really good about the relationship in the beginning but over time you may find dissatisfaction and I say may a lot here because I I don't. 05:42.63 Max Shank Anyone. 05:46.87 mikebledsoe There's no absolutes with all of this and ah 1 thing I Want to point out too is we're talking about what people learn from their parents which is different than what your parents taught you So what? a teacher intends for you to learn and what you receive it. These are different Things. So I like to keep that clear too because max said you said something that really stands out which is how you perceived your parents' relationship as how you're gonna be behave So as an adult what can happen a lot of times is. We intellectually look at our parents relationship or we look at the past and go oh that was not a big deal or I you know you can reason it away you can create reasons for and against why things were a certain way. But if you dig down deep enough which I've I've done a lot of that type of work where we deep dig. Deep down into what happened emotionally at a young age and people end up what we end up discovering is oh I learned this thing and I as I got older I intellectualized it away but it. But even though I intellectually intellectualized it away. 06:51.96 Max Shank And. 06:59.65 mikebledsoe It was still a pattern that was dominating my life. So I like to just bring that to people's awareness. Yeah, a lot of subconscious behavior. 07:01.52 Max Shank Um, subconsciously subconsciously I think it's really important to distinguish between instinct and intellect. That's 1 of the main things I like to communicate with people is that you have these instincts that have. Basically nothing to do with your Upbringing. You're going to have an instinctual desire If. You're a man toward a female most of the time and so you're going to find a lot of ladies sexually desirable and your intellect is. Able to override your instinct but not all the time right? So you have things that are instinctual. 07:41.73 mikebledsoe Well it depends on if you're It's probably how stressed how stressed you are in that moment or how much fear you're experiencing dictates the instinct versus intellect. 07:51.28 Max Shank So it's like the pause between Impulse and action I guess because some things are instinctual and then some things are ingrained like I think beating your spouse is not an instinct but I'm I'm guessing. But if you. 07:55.20 mikebledsoe Um. 08:03.39 mikebledsoe No. 08:09.39 mikebledsoe I. 08:09.86 Max Shank If you see your if you see your parents beating each other then that's going to be ingrained into you right? So you have the the pure instincts which is sexual attraction and ah probably ah, there's a sense of family there as well. Maybe. 08:16.29 mikebledsoe Right? right. 08:26.57 mikebledsoe Just me. 08:29.12 Max Shank More nurturing on the side of females generally and then you have behaviors and patterns that are ingrained where you have these roles that each participant in a relationship plays and you're going to.. It's like you were saying you know you don't. Necessarily do what your parents tell you you don't do what your teachers tell you you just either copy them or you try to do the opposite mostly right, right? What what you see. 08:53.77 mikebledsoe Yeah, yeah, it's what you learn from them. Not what they try to teach you? Yeah all right? So we covered super early development in regard to relationships which is a good foundation. 09:05.20 Max Shank I Think it's good. We have we have like a right? So then we move on into relationships should we go to relationships because that's probably I think we don't need to go into like. 09:17.88 mikebledsoe I want to let everyone know we're we're ten minutes in his show while them know we're gonna talk about how to pick up chicks at some point in this just ah so people keep paying attention. 09:24.91 Max Shank Oh yeah, so here's what you do you? Ah you spend like 10 years getting into really good shape and getting really rich and then the rest of it doesn't matter or or another option. 09:39.71 mikebledsoe Ah. 09:43.41 Max Shank You can just ah, go up and and talk to girls that you're interested in and actually be interested in them. 09:50.20 mikebledsoe Yeah, that's the key. Well I think most guys I'm gonna talk about guys because I think we're more of an expert on men than we are women. 09:57.87 Max Shank Are we gonna talk about are we gonna talk about the pedestal today. We we we got to talk about the pedestal today I can tell I you and I are on the same like wavelength I've been there I've done it too. 10:02.62 mikebledsoe Yeah, we can talk about the pedestal. We got to talk about the pedestal. Actually I what I was about to say kind of leads into that. Yeah. 10:17.84 Max Shank I've put ladies up on this high pedestal. Not healthy, not healthy to do that. 10:18.43 mikebledsoe Yeah, well now I forgot what I was gonna say so yeah, well when we get in our our first relationships ah man women are just so ah I would say a lot of. What got me in my first relationships is me me trying to. 10:38.16 Max Shank Like holding the pause button women are so oh God What's even do. 10:47.43 mikebledsoe Um, so like when I when I first started why it totally didn't know it at the time but I looked back at my childhood and and the girls and it was it was all about you know. Making myself feel loved like I wanted to feel loved. So I you know would go after I like need to go after the prettiest girl I wanted to go after the same girl that everybody else was going after. Um, there was yeah yeah, then everyone would worship me which is not completely inaccurate. 11:17.60 Max Shank Then we would all like you. 11:25.32 mikebledsoe I Mean if you date if you're with someone that a lot of people want to be with that does raise your status I've witnessed this I've I've had that experience. 11:30.10 Max Shank You get a lot of fifth bumps from strangers. Um, you like my man get look at hit him. 11:39.95 mikebledsoe Actually I was like I had that experience forty 8 hours ago or you know 36 hours Saturday night I was out. Yeah, my my girlfriend gets up from the table. He gives me a fist bump like yeah and. 11:49.20 Max Shank Right? You automatically get street cred and why is that it's because women are Judgmental. That's I think that's the word you are looking for is women are very Judgmental now before before I'm crucified. Let me qualify that with that's just. 11:59.81 mikebledsoe I. 12:08.42 Max Shank The way of animals generally Speaking. We do a little dance show you our pretty feathers and we're like hey look at this nest I Made what do you think and you're like they're taking notes like okay, he's got a 8 out of 10 on nest building. Nice flowers. Nice feathers I like your bird song. Okay I'll accept your your dna we can name so that's but that's the same word. That's the same thing but but. 12:31.10 mikebledsoe Yeah, it well they have ah they have discernment. For instance, my my girlfriend she is yeah similar I think Judgment judgment carries. Ah to me that if we're getting in the semantics as we do. Ah ah. 12:46.57 Max Shank We have to. 12:50.19 mikebledsoe Judgment comes with it a making wrong a it. It becomes so um, a moral a moral issue whereas something may not be good enough for this specific thing but it doesn't make you a bad person for instance like I'm not in ah I'm not in ah to blonde women. It's not. 12:53.53 Max Shank Um, yeah, pass or Fail. Um. Um, so I feel like yeah. 13:09.86 mikebledsoe Because blonde women are are bad. It's just because it's not my I discern against that for what that's a poor example I should probably pick something that's more of like a behavior trait and a look but women are discerning Well I say that I say that because my girlfriend is way more discerning than I am. 13:14.14 Max Shank Right? I think I think discern. Yeah I think discernment is a good word. They discriminate. Women are way more discerning than men are generally speaking I don't think that I'm telling any tales out of school with that comment I think most of the things totally but wouldn't you say that most of the crazy things that guys do are. 13:28.50 mikebledsoe And social situations. 13:33.17 mikebledsoe Well this is this is where being being with a woman and listening to her is a superpower keeps me out of lot of trouble. 13:45.13 Max Shank Mostly to attract women I mean nobody yeah no, that's what I'm saying nobody's this is like the core of the thing for all the fell is listening I mean the whole reason. Ah, you try to get 6 pack abs is because you want some lady to go oh look at him I like that whole reason you buy. 13:45.96 mikebledsoe Almost everything. 14:04.89 Max Shank A crazy fancy car is to you know, convince or Persuade or appear to a potential mate as if you are, you're qualified. You meet the parameters for like yeah I'll get with that guy. Otherwise why would you be getting fist bumps. And it's weird because guys are usually valued on what they can provide and girls are usually valued on what they are. 14:32.52 mikebledsoe I like to look at it as men are are valued for ah hold value for success and women hold value for Beauty is is what I've typically noticed which is similar to what you're saying. But. 14:49.44 Max Shank Yeah. 14:52.42 mikebledsoe But I think those are the primary things that people are like men are judging women on Beauty and that's why you see so many old rich dudes with with young hot girls. It doesn't go the other way around. Yeah yeah, so it's um, you know for young men out there. 14:55.60 Max Shank Here. 15:01.81 Max Shank It's because it's because wealth compounds and Beauty deteriorates. 15:11.63 mikebledsoe It might be a little rough. Um, but I don't think it has to I Just think it it tends to be. 15:13.78 Max Shank I I don't think so I think if you have I think it's probably the best time to just be a little bit courageous because I would say that by and large men are becoming very weak very fragile. Emotionally. And if you're just willing to have the courage to ask for what you want and ask ladies out and be that male masculine Archetype it. It'll be like shooting fish in a barrel I think. 15:47.54 mikebledsoe It it really is when I was living in San diego um I was living in a part of town where it was a very like just had a feminine essence. You actually you live there so you know, um, but I'm taught. Yeah. 16:00.51 Max Shank I Do I live in a very feminine place. 16:05.61 mikebledsoe It's ah ensonnitos california very feminine. It's very laid back easy going a lot of the men there I think max max and I were probably 2 of the 2 out of maybe five masculine men in the whole town which does which. I wonder how many guys in Nsonitas are listening to this show which does make it feel like shooting fish in a barrel because I know I know for you I I imagine it's fairly easy to find good looking women and I know I definitely had that experience when I lived there. Um, and it was easier there than say awesome texas where there's a lot of there's a lot more bravado here. There's more masculinity here. So if you're going to out masculine another dude like you know you better have 5 million in your bank account in a and a fast car. Yeah. 16:57.78 Max Shank Just got back from a bull riding competition. You got a 10 pound belt buckle that sort of thing. 17:03.67 mikebledsoe Yeah, you need guns and trucks and land. These are the things and big houses. But ah yeah, it's different. So like if you just have if you just and and embody that masculine energy like you're saying. 17:09.60 Max Shank Right? It's totally different thing I think that. 17:21.51 mikebledsoe Most of society has gotten soft and so if you're able if you're if you're a stronger not just physically stronger. But you're emotionally strong Mentally, you're developed. You're if you're developed in these ways in a in a masculine way. Yeah, women will come flocking. It'll be hard to keep them away. 17:41.38 Max Shank Um, well and I think the the biggest thing in my opinion is ah approaching it from an abundance mindset instead of a scarcity mindset like if you ask a lady out and she says no and you get emotionally crushed to the point that you don't ask any more ladies out. That's not good if you get into any relationship at all just because you're afraid you won't be able to find anyone else who likes you. That's not going to work at all That's going to be a scarcity mindset too and I think the same thing happens with guys. Staying in relationships is because they are living in a scarcity mindset where they're like oh I'll I'll never find anyone else and so you have to become resilient to the word. No. Because it's not just about getting every lady to say Yes, it's about having your request be like a filter so you find someone who resonates with you and I'm talking more about like who you actually want to spend time with than just sex I don't think. I Don't think it's too valuable for for us to just like teach people how to like hook up with random people at the bar I think that's simple and straightforward enough. 19:03.51 mikebledsoe Yeah, and with all the apps out there now I think it's pretty easy and if you can write some good copy on your tinder account I think you'll be just fine. Yeah. 19:11.58 Max Shank Right? Just buy a puppy and be rich and you're be fine. 19:19.63 mikebledsoe Ah, yeah, so being in a satisfying relationship. That's interesting. 1 thing I want to cover that I'd like to address here is ah and if there's any ladies left by this point that this would be. They're gonna love hearing it but the way I the way I look at it is women pretty much. 19:32.87 Max Shank They're gone. 19:38.47 mikebledsoe Drive We We already said this drive all male behavior like women are in charge when women start complaining that that men are in charge home going. You lost you don't you don't see what's going on here men make money because. Want to attract women all these things but I think it comes From. It's an evolutionary thing where you know it used to be the biggest strongest guy was the 1 who got the woman and it was the you know got to where it they you started being judged on your intellect and I think that. 20:03.98 Max Shank Um, a. 20:15.19 mikebledsoe That's there's a big argument for that's what's driven the evolution of consciousness is the more you can develop your intellect as a man the more more valuable you'll become and the more status you'll have So it's I think so I think so but but. 20:26.94 Max Shank Um, is it because you can provide more though I think so too. 20:34.27 mikebledsoe And which way can you provide big strong can kill shit protect or do the same exact thing because you're you're loaded with a bunch of money and and you know how to use it. 20:43.26 Max Shank Way more. The latter nowadays you know like your your martial arts capacity is like the last thing on most ladies minds number 1 20:48.26 mikebledsoe Nowadays. Yeah, that's where we got. 20:59.31 Max Shank A guy with 20 years of martial arts experience will lose to a guy with 1 day of firearms experience. So there's almost no point in being big and strong from a self-defense standpoint whatsoever and the likelihood of any physical violence is so low you can create way more. Force and power you have more power just being able to write a check and being able to use language. Well. 21:22.75 mikebledsoe Yeah, people want to get along people deep down they they avoid conflict most so I I don't mind conflict I I find it fun. It's like a little bit of. 21:38.47 Max Shank I disagree on you're wrong. 21:41.52 mikebledsoe I fuck with it a bit and I noticed I noticed that a lot of people there. A lot of people are not that way. Ah y'all start I'll step into a conflict and people fold really quick. Um, and I'd I'd say I run into ten percent of people out there. Okay, with conflict other people. 21:53.49 Max Shank The. 22:01.39 mikebledsoe They they just want to avoid it at all costs I think I think you're right like it's it's safety in 2021 physical safety. It's pretty. You know, not saying that violence can't happen but have a gun there. You go no. 22:13.14 Max Shank Yeah, it's rare. Yeah, you don't need to be like super buff. Most ladies don't care because that has changed right? The aesthetic over time for women has changed the desirability of men has totally changed. 22:29.29 mikebledsoe Yeah, they like skinny guys now like being skinny is in which was when I was a kid that was the last thing you wanted to be. Yeah. 22:38.14 Max Shank Not no, you were so it was called Scrawny back Then. And and ladies I mean it used to be. They were supposed to be plump like Victorian Era type of thing and then we had some stuff happen a little thicker well and then it. 22:52.92 mikebledsoe Ah, well up until Marilyn Monroe Marilyn Monroe was she's a thick woman and then. 23:05.25 Max Shank Swung back around to like the supermodel phase of the Ninety s where you have 6 with tall women who weigh 1 hundred pounds and you're like oh my god like it looks like skeletor right? and then now I think it's kind of circled back around to the thick ladies. 23:13.69 mikebledsoe Yeah, yeah, yeah. 23:20.56 mikebledsoe Yeah I'm loving that I yeah I need a little I don't like him too skinny I tried I tried the 2 skinny ones didn't wasn't as pleasurable. Be honest, got to try it all out. Yeah yeah. 23:33.22 Max Shank You got to find out what you like you got to find out what you like that's it. Um, it does sort of circle us back to if you're ready to talk about how to choose the right person I mean we can. 23:40.36 mikebledsoe Take a 1 more little meat on her bones. You know. 23:48.20 mikebledsoe Oh yeah, we should? Yeah, we we just. 23:52.64 Max Shank We could just talk about what ah physical traits we like in ladies but just watch all the female listeners just slowly go away if you're a lady and you made it past me saying women are judgmental then I so. 23:57.74 mikebledsoe Ah, all right, all right? Ah I'll let you. 24:11.92 Max Shank really support that thank you that's really nice ah yeah thank you for the support. Ah so it comes back to that scarcity idea. It's possible to just date 1 lady and have her be the 1 and. 24:13.10 mikebledsoe Thank you for the support ladies. Yeah. 24:31.12 Max Shank Get married and have a family would you say that's a little bit risky. 24:36.41 mikebledsoe Boy it doesn't sound like you're diversifying your portfolio seems like an all eggs in 1 basket. 24:40.48 Max Shank well well I mean all your eggs in 1 basket is more like the argument for being polyamorous I just mean like sampling sampling different personality types. 24:54.97 mikebledsoe Ah, ah before you before you go into a marriage. 24:59.85 Max Shank Yeah, because I think having ah a relationship can be 1 of the best things ever or possibly the worst thing ever. That's why I think it's such a good topic because there's that saying behind every ah. 25:09.64 mikebledsoe Well. 25:16.37 Max Shank Great man is a strong woman I'm guessing a woman came up with that quote had to have been right? but but also behind every like broken suicidal man is 1 or many women who made his life miserable now it's probably his own fault. But I'm saying is. 25:30.31 mikebledsoe Yeah. 25:35.78 Max Shank Both ways. Male female. A relationship can be like a crazy boost that defies the laws of physics or it can be ah like a poison that you take every day. 25:50.68 mikebledsoe Yeah, yeah, totally agree. 25:52.60 Max Shank I mean I've seen it I've seen it both ways and how can you choose? Well if you don't interact with multiple types of person. 26:04.80 mikebledsoe Well this is this is a really big challenge because I don't think people really appreciate how long we as human beings have been choosing our marriage partners. It's like 100 years old I think prior. The further back you go the more arranged marriages you're going to see and americans I think have probably been on the cutting edge of choosing your your mate ah to the rest of the world. Ah, and ah the wealthy. You know I think kept it around longer than the poor I think the poor were more into choosing than the wealthy the wealthy were you know is all part about it was playing a role in joining together families. And yeah, political and financial. So so this idea of you choosing a mate. 26:51.95 Max Shank It's poor political. 27:01.43 mikebledsoe Is is very very interesting because it's it's new it choosing your mate is new and then not only that the amount of choices I went on bumble and it's it's overwhelming I mean I I would sit there and I could swipe through. Ah, hundred women in five minutes and you know rewind a hundred years or further back ago and that might have been how many women you've ever met in the first twenty years of your life. You know you may have met your. 27:33.60 Max Shank That there are times where you wouldn't meet a hundred women who weren't your family members. 27:39.00 mikebledsoe Yeah, yeah, and so like this idea that we now get to choose a mate and previously it was like you know what you get the the cards you were dealt. It's kind of like your looks right? It's like oh your face looks like that you're stuck with that rest of your life. Think that's how ah marriage was probably seen back then is yeah, you're just going to marry this person or you know you get out of these 3 women. You're probably going to you know, end up with 1 of them might as well start courting and so I only bring that up because. You know if we look at the generations if I look at all right? My dad definitely picked my mom and they met from different sides of the country. Um, they came together in 1 spot but were were nowhere near each other they they had a lot of options but then I look at my my dad's dad grew up in a town of four hundred. my dad grew up in a town of four Hundred he's like fortunate like he was on that cusp of he left his hometown in his late teens for adventure and found my mom now my grandfather was a town of. 28:48.69 Max Shank I. 28:54.18 mikebledsoe 400 and married a woman from that talent at 400 right so he probably his the amount of choices he had was probably you know a dozen you know. 28:55.18 Max Shank Ah. 29:05.72 Max Shank It's probably a lot more clearly defined gender roles within a marriage at that time too though. 29:09.96 mikebledsoe That as well and if you look back at his father who the fuck knows like they they had such so I only I bring all that up to to create this context and give ourselves a little bit of grace for. If we're if we seem like we're not not max and I I mean we can give us grace too but give yourself grace if you're fumbling around in relationships a bit because most of the things that are happening in relationship are new choosing a mate for yourself. That's new without having parents heavily. Ah. 29:49.53 mikebledsoe Influencing it. So yeah I just bring that up because give ourselves some grace and we're all learning and I think it's a skill that you're gonna have to get even better at in the future because choice is only going up. 30:01.35 Max Shank Well I think that is a really good point that you are always learning and so people change within the course of a relationship and that relates to what we're talking about with arranged marriages like right now. I'm pretty sure you could fact check me on this I'm pretty sure that right now it's still common plaque common practice in some parts of india to marry off your 12 year old daughter to a 30 year old dub. 30:30.61 mikebledsoe Yeah, was it up? Well yeah I think so well I saw a news story Yesterday a girl in Afghanistan was a 12 year old girl was sold for two thousand dollars in afghanistan and you know it's probably propaganda from cnn basically. Trying to make the taliban look like a bunch of dicks which they probably are a bunch of dicks. But um, anyways I don't think that's specific to the taliban I think there's just a bunch of dudes out there a bunch of dicks. But ah. 30:49.93 Max Shank That seems really cheap. 31:01.26 Max Shank Well I think that's ah sort of what we're talking about you know? ah a lady has that intrinsic value. You couldn't sell like a boy for that price. Probably. 31:17.43 mikebledsoe Yeah, women are gonna be more expensive are gonna cost more has more value there. So. 31:24.80 Max Shank So okay, we're into arranged marriages which is like hey this is just how it is and there was no concept of divorce and then you know the story of King James King James bible. 31:42.34 mikebledsoe Nah. Thanks! So yeah, please tell it? yeah. 31:42.88 Max Shank 1 of my favorite stories ever he but you know he's a he's Good. Ah Catholic guy I Want to say Catholic Christian something like that he was He was hip with the bible and then he was married to this lady. He's like fuck I got to get out of this thing and they're like sorry church doctrine says no go and he's like we're gonna have to rewrite this book and so and so they did now you have the the King James bible which is like yeah divorce is okay Now. And I think that's hilarious I think that it's okay to play it either way. It's okay to want to stick it out and try to make it work and it's also okay to be thankful that for the time that you had with somebody. 32:21.67 mikebledsoe To what. 32:36.62 Max Shank And and move on with your life I think it's I think it's important to understand that people do grow in different ways. So this whole idea of till death to us part is like a really good idea. It. It seems meaningful but also I mean people do. Change people go through midlife crisis people go through just constant evolution and people grow differently sometimes sometimes you grow the same get intertwined and sometimes you grow in polar opposite directions and you have nothing left in common anymore. 33:08.22 mikebledsoe Yeah I'll throw in my ah I'll throw in a vulnerable share of the day. So the ah so I was made for 9 years huh 33:19.90 Max Shank You're bisexual. What's that huh. 33:25.50 mikebledsoe I was married for 9 years and so greedy bunch of bastards just pick aside. Um so I'm actually really jealous of of people can go both ways. Oh yeah. 33:30.17 Max Shank Bisexual is just greedy so greedy double dipping not cool man. 33:43.57 Max Shank Um, yeah, it's greedy. It's amazing. Yeah. 33:45.22 mikebledsoe Yeah, they have double the opportunity. Yeah so I was made for 9 years and ah, you know we we so parted ways about 2 and a half years ago now. Um. Ah, when when I got married I don't think she's gonna listen to this I'll I'll over share a bit but we'll see yeah, ah, when we were first married like. 34:10.80 Max Shank This will be the first 1 She listens to no question. 34:21.83 mikebledsoe We were a certain type of person I I know ah she was full of Insecurity I was full of Insecurity I was ah fairly I was very stressed out all the time I was ah yeah I was. I was fearful around relationships specifically I had a scarcity mentality I you know I I look back and and you know I made some decisions based on the wrong reasons and the reason I did that is because nobody can I never heard anyone tell me the right reasons you would want to be married. 34:57.87 Max Shank And. 34:59.60 mikebledsoe Like I I remember growing up in church and hearing things but like now that I'm forty was married for 9 years and I'm in ah, a really ah relationship I'm stoked about for a year and a half and now I can see I can see things so much clearly now and. And the advice that I would give somebody who's 25 or what was I was 27 when I got married twenty eight the advice I would give that person is no 1 gave me the advice I would give me now and but so some of it has to do with. Who you're surrounding yourself with and this before podcast before I get all enlightening shit. But ah so so enlightened. Yeah, yeah, that's usually it. Ah so ah. 35:42.46 Max Shank So enlightened. That's what all the enlightened people say I'm I'm just so enlightened. 35:56.82 mikebledsoe So I look back and go Wow! It's just a lot of core wounding. There's like a lot of lot of emotional wounds. A lot of insecurity that was driving a lot of the decisions during that time which made us a perfect couple we were we were meant to be together. We matched lock and key. 36:08.73 Max Shank You matched Harm eyes. Yeah. 36:14.25 mikebledsoe Yeah, like she she had like the ways in which I showed up for her was probably how she wished her dad would show up for her and and so on and so forth and so over the years the relationship it was 1 of those things where as we. Healed a lot of those wounds and didn't have the same insecurities popping up and and a lot of that just didn't matter anymore. You know, certain things didn't bother me anymore and I and I was open to more of my own desires versus what I was scared of losing and. During that time. We also improved our communication skills. We went to workshops and improved how to communicate I attended relationship workshops I did a lot of a lot of my personal development was how to improve relationships in general and so while. While I was in a relationship that what bound us together began to dissolve I also was getting better at relationships. So it was. It was like the relationship would get hard and then would get easier and so I was in this I was in this relationship I was like oh that is really hard. Don't know if I can make it. 37:15.17 Max Shank Live. 37:30.00 mikebledsoe And then I learned some way new way of relating and I changed something about myself and then like oh now we're jam and this is great and then we'd hit another hard stop and it really I got to the point where I go oh that that the core thing that has been binding us together for so long that's gone and. 37:45.92 Max Shank Ah. 37:48.77 mikebledsoe Now it's about just trying to make this relationship work because we've been in it for so long and so yeah, yeah, and um, you know and when I when I left that relationship there. It took me. 37:54.23 Max Shank Sunk cost policy. 38:07.79 mikebledsoe It's been 2 and a half years it has not been that long for a nine year relationship 2 and a half years is not that long. So I still It's like every day that goes by I experience this less. It's almost nothing. It's probably a few times a week at this point, there's this guilt that may come up it. It. Kind of like this question comes up with could I have done something differently or could I have been a different way or I see myself in my current relationship where I'm doing things for her that my ex wanted me to do for her but I just didn't do. 38:39.77 Max Shank Um. 38:43.87 mikebledsoe Or I was for for some reason I was incapable in that moment and even though I tried and now I'm witnessing myself. Do it with ease and then I feel a little bit of guilt like oh why is it that I can do this so easily now it's so difficult then um, and so it's It's a very interesting thing to have. 38:50.94 Max Shank Yeah, yeah. 39:02.44 Max Shank That's a big deal. 39:03.58 mikebledsoe Been and yeah, been in a nine year relationship and be able to look at it and go oh yeah, and and I'm very fortunate because when I left the relationship. You know there was there was a good year where a little over a year we were working on it before we split like we was we we knew that we this was a possibility. 39:16.11 Max Shank Ah. 39:22.73 mikebledsoe And ah yeah, what I what I made sure of when I loved that relationship is I didn't want to bring any of the bullshit into the next relationship or go you know what I need to make sure that I'm I like clean here I don't want. Ah. 39:33.12 Max Shank Whatever. 39:42.38 mikebledsoe Even though we we still ended up splitting I had to make sure that it wasn't me. It wasn't like something that was 1 hundred percent me that was that was the problem because I knew that that would just show up in the next relationship and I don't want to do that to somebody else and so ah so i. Um, in my my experience I largely did that and then splitting up I had a year where I really focused on myself and I did date a little bit but man a lot of lessons there too. 40:12.71 Max Shank Yeah I think that guilt that you were talking about is really um, it's nice that you feel comfortable sharing that I've definitely felt that myself. Basically every relationship I've ever been in is I Always think what I could have done differently whether it's a. 40:27.76 mikebledsoe Um, a. 40:31.51 Max Shank Business relationship or romantic relationship. Ah professional project was just telling someone the other day that as soon as I finish teaching a course I think of like 10 things I wish I had done different as soon as I finished launching a product I'm like oh God should have done this this and this different as soon as the relationships. And I'm like oh man I could have done this this and this and you you got to be kind to yourself and recognize that you're doing the best you can with what you got based on how you think and feel at the time you know and so it's important not to drag any of the Bs along with you. 40:52.23 mikebledsoe Yeah, yeah. 41:03.28 mikebledsoe Yeah, so. 41:10.22 Max Shank But you still want to remember those lessons So I'm really appreciative of all the relationships that I have had and I try to keep the lessons that I've learned and I try to focus on the things that I did like because then you also have a good frame of reference. For whatever relationship you're in now and you know you don't want to get into like comparison syndrome or something like that. But it's good to know. Um what you like and what you don't like and get comfortable drawing drawing boundaries and saying this is what I'm willing to um trade off or sacrifice. For what I'm willing to give what I'm willing to get out of a relationship. What I'm looking for in a relationship and I think that maybe the most important thing to realize is if you can't say no then you're basically a slave like if you can't say. You can't say no to something then you're you'll just be eroded over Time. So You're not really yourself. 42:10.41 mikebledsoe Yeah, yeah, that. 42:26.23 mikebledsoe I'll find the thought. 42:38.44 Max Shank Yeah I think it's natural to judge ourselves especially when a relationship ends any anytime something finishes I think it's normal to say like oh what could I have done different. It's also probably common to viciously attack the character of the other person and say it's all their fault. 42:48.71 mikebledsoe Well probably. 42:56.90 mikebledsoe I Think that's the most common. Yeah, that's more common than yeah I mean's a mix of both I'm sure but you know we we can judge our previous self harshly because we've learned the lesson now we didn't know then where we didn't know it well enough then. 42:57.47 Max Shank So you don't want to get into that trap either. 43:09.21 Max Shank Yeah. 43:14.10 mikebledsoe To take action on it or you didn't know how to do it. But after the fact you look back and go I know how to do that and then that's another reason to to give yourself a little bit of grace but you were digging into boundaries and um, yeah, the boundaries has been 1 of the most important things. Oh yeah, what I would that remind me of. Is well we can talk about boundaries later. But what I want to dig in here based on what you were just saying is when I said hey I want to I want to reengage with my dating life again and which I mean in my first marriage I was also dating other women. 43:45.80 Max Shank The. 43:52.29 mikebledsoe It was completely open. We were completely transparent about it. It was so it wasn't like I had gotten back up now the way I approached dating was very different. It felt very different from you know when I was married it was just like okay I'm gonna go have fun with this person when I was single it was like. 44:02.75 Max Shank The. 44:11.38 mikebledsoe I Had this experience of oh this could be something more and so it's like the pressure went up on it to a degree where which was surprising to me. Yeah, yeah, yeah, it was actually interesting to watch myself. Ah, yeah, Wow I actually desire to be in a relationship. 44:17.56 Max Shank Right before it was a play date before it was a play date Now you're playing for keeps. Basically. 44:29.37 Max Shank Ah. 44:31.27 mikebledsoe Ah, and so ah, what I did was I I was sitting with my coach at the time he's actually in Encinitas and he says to me. Ah well,, you're very interested in women even though you're you're newly divorced and. All that you seem to attract women pretty easily and you like being in a relationship you like to be with women like yeah, that's all Accurate. He goes well I would write down what it is you want in a woman and because basically. I was working with him during you know all that leading up to my divorce and afterwards and what he saw was when you're when you're breaking away from a relationship. It is very difficult to see what it is. You do want you? you primarily see all the things you don't want or what you don't like. 45:25.87 Max Shank The. 45:27.76 mikebledsoe Like I want out of this I don't want this anymore and so it was I remember it was very hard for me to shift the gears into focusing on what I did want from a woman or maybe not from her but ah of a woman versus what I didn't want. And the list of didn't was so you can translate this the the list of don't wants can really inform you your do wants you can make all your list of like I don't want this this and this and go what's the opposite of that. So um, that's how I started I started I was like you know what? I don't want all this shit. 45:59.55 Max Shank 10 46:06.70 mikebledsoe So I do want this and what I did was I swung really hard and I went to the other side of the spectrum and and then dated a woman who was the opposite of my ex and in a lot of ways. Um, and. 46:19.40 Max Shank And. 46:23.69 mikebledsoe And my coach even I remember got a chuckle at it's like dude you you just went the other direction hard like how's that going I'm like I'm loving it and then crash and burn is like no I don't love that and I realized that there were a lot of traits that I thought were valuable and this is going back to your your point early on which is. 46:27.61 Max Shank No. 46:42.76 mikebledsoe Good to try out a lot of different types of people when dating and looking at different. You know what type of personality traits all this stuff. There was a lot of things that I imagined that I desired. But for instance I desired a woman that was ah like financially independent I wasn't going to need to take care of them all this kind of stuff. So I ended up dating a woman who made like 2 to 3 times the amount of money I was making and it was It was really exciting I was like oh cool like I don't have to cover everything and she doesn't mind this and that and I get to go have lavish experiences and. 47:14.42 Max Shank And. 47:19.66 mikebledsoe Fivestar hotels and all this shit Ca Bana Boy Mike Yeah, so and I make good money so like ah for her to make triple like she's banking. She's you know? and so I but then I was like oh the emotional availability of this person is just nothing. 47:21.45 Max Shank Cabana Boy mike. 47:39.10 mikebledsoe And I was like oh I I didn't have that written down because it was just a like to me I think it was probably a given but I wasn't focused on it consciously so I wasn't choosing it. So then I go you know what I don't care. She doesn't have to be filthy rich she ah because I actually put down the intention I Want to date someone who makes more money to me. 47:44.38 Max Shank And. 47:56.93 Max Shank I Thought that was gonna be your advice for the listeners is just marry a rich girl. Ah. 47:59.50 mikebledsoe And. Um, yeah, well, you know if she's self-made that could be a good thing if she's not good luck. Um, because I've I over the years I I dated some ah some rich girls when I was younger I was like in my teens but ah what a pain. So what I did was I kept refining my list I kept refining and writing down like what I wanted in a woman and then I got to a point where well I then went celibate for seven months. The first hundred days was on purpose and then. The rest of the time I was sell that was due to covid. So I basically I was gonna end my Ninety my hundred day was gonna be like the beginning of March like I was like about to get back in the game covid hit and then so I had to wait another few months to get back in. But um, yeah, during that time lot of reflection. 48:41.90 Max Shank And. 48:49.40 Max Shank Avenue. Ah. 48:59.36 mikebledsoe And so when I did meet the person I'm with now she really does check all the boxes and I I think it is part of it is I did the work of finding Out. What is it that I really want somebody and things that I thought were valuable like. Aren't as bad but like I I value emotional development over money for sure. 49:26.64 Max Shank It's really valuable to write those things down and what's interesting is I've done the same thing. The list of things that you want is also the best way you can show up in a relationship. 49:39.25 mikebledsoe Show like. 49:42.90 Max Shank Like it just turns right back on you, you're like dammit This is like how I can best be in a relationship too. You know it's not just like ah okay, ah, pretty lady here's a list of things I want from you and she's like great. She hands you the list back and's like yeah I want that too and you're like fuck. 49:46.47 mikebledsoe Yeah. 49:59.41 mikebledsoe I Well I think there's I think there's some I think that's partly true. Ah, you know, kind of like the treat ah treat others the way you want to be treated. Um, but really the. 50:02.41 Max Shank Ah, yeah. 50:13.33 Max Shank Oh I don't think that's true. Yeah. 50:16.51 mikebledsoe Yeah, you want to treat people the way they want to be treated so like in a relationship that probably is the ways in which you could show up better but also be on the lookout for what is it they want and how they like for me I I could I could do with less touch and my relationship like. 50:33.54 Max Shank Well. 50:36.37 mikebledsoe Um I I love touch I'm a high touch person but my girlfriend's even more so so like she has to remind me like are you gonna touch me I'm like oh okay, yeah, and I appreciate the reminder. But if I touched her as much as I wanted to be touched. She would not be satisfied. 50:41.16 Max Shank Um. Right. 50:52.68 Max Shank As long as you're both willing to communicate that then it can work out. Okay, and as long as you understand what's going on there then it's okay, but like I think shying away from direct Crystal clear communication. 50:57.13 mikebledsoe Yeah, yeah. 51:11.60 Max Shank Is maybe perceived as not very sexy sometimes but also it's the main reason that people quietly suffer in a relationship they're like in their head I'm not getting what I want but I'm just gonna I'm just gonna keep things really smooth and it's like no, that's not. 51:15.48 mikebledsoe It. 51:30.66 Max Shank That's not going to work Meanwhile if you have like 2 gay guys and they're both tops. There's no confusion there because no 1 is going to be happy in that situation. You need a top and you need a bottom and you know you understand what I'm saying like they're they're not going to. Well. 51:45.83 mikebledsoe I get it I do it I know how I know how gay people do it? yeah. 51:50.23 Max Shank I've met a lot. Ah I've met a lot of gay guys. Um, yeah, what? Ah what a fun bunch of fellows. Um, but yeah, there's no, there's no mincing words there is what I've noticed. It's like I am ah I am a top I am a bottom. Ah great. 52:01.62 mikebledsoe Is what it's what. 52:09.87 Max Shank Um, a bottom. It's not going to work. There's no,, There's no compatibility there and the same thing is true with asking for what you want out of a relationship and being clear on what the expectations are and I think of a relationship. Ah, like a romantic 1 is really a lot more like ah, a business partnership than anything Else. You are building a life together and you need to have more or less an operating agreement just as just like you would need in any other business like. You know I'll get the food and you cook the food and you do this and I'll do this and this and you know we have our responsibilities So There's no confusion about who's responsible for what and there's none of that um lack of clarity that can make people start to. Quietly Harbor resentment which is a huge problem. So if you don't ask for what you want and you get resentful. That's on you. 53:13.35 mikebledsoe Yeah, yeah I think for a lot of people. They don't even know what they want so they I I yeah. 53:20.32 Max Shank Yeah, we'll shoot. Don't most people choose partners just based on how pretty they look by the way I think that if you prioritize that above everything else, You're probably going to have. Ah, relationship that is really challenging at some point. 53:41.43 mikebledsoe I've never seen anyone who valued that over everything else have a ah long happy relationship. 53:46.59 Max Shank Well because a relationship you know, even if you're doing a lot of sex. It's still like four percent of your day. It's an ah, an hour is four percent. The rest of the the rest of the time there's got to be other things that keep you interested. 54:02.63 mikebledsoe Yeah, I'm not remembering who who told me this but ah, probably some relationship guru. Ah and which is sex is there to bridge the gap so that you have time to build the. 54:05.28 Max Shank You know what. 54:09.27 Max Shank Um, and. 54:21.29 mikebledsoe Foundation of the relationship and if you make sex the foundation of the relationship. It's not going to last because like I said the beginning of the show. The first six months of relationship you're on drugs you're high. You're not, you're not thinking straight your hormones and. 54:22.23 Max Shank Are. 54:29.10 Max Shank Yeah, right? no. 54:40.77 mikebledsoe Neurotransmitters are firing very differently than they will be in a year from now. Ah when you're relating to the same person so sex is a you know great sex I think for me isn't I need great sex I I will if I if I'm not getting that i. Begin to wander pretty easily. Um I mean I got high sex drive or something. 55:02.50 Max Shank I Don't think there's anything I don't think there's anything wrong with that I think recognizing that things are changing in a way that you don't like is extremely valuable and it kind of correlates back to another important point which is if you're not. Comfortable by yourself. You probably won't be able to make the right choice for a relationship. 55:29.60 mikebledsoe That's true. Yeah I the relationship I'm in I was I actually went this whole process where I was because I didn't know what was going to happen with a pandemic I'm like oh maybe I'm single for the rest of my life. Maybe there was a moment where that was like in the first the first month of it. 55:43.40 Max Shank Oh yeah, what. 55:47.10 mikebledsoe Was going world seems pretty chaotic I don't know if I'm gonna find a mate anytime soon. It might be a while I might as well enjoy me and without a partner. Um, yeah, what was I saying before that feel like we jumped tracks I was on to go back. 55:51.70 Max Shank Um, ah. 56:05.70 mikebledsoe Um, and my memory is not go ahead. 56:07.47 Max Shank What you're the you you were talking about that. Um, you have a certain level of touch desire. Your lady has a slightly higher 1 Great sex is important to you but it's not the only thing you said sex is the bridge to build the foundation of other stuff. 56:21.71 mikebledsoe Oh yeah, yeah, the. But yeah, the set sex will hold 2 people together long enough to build that foundation. But if you don't spend time building the other aspects of your relationship aligning your boundaries aligning your values your vision of the future together. If. You don't take care of that in the first six months you probably won't it probably won't last and if you do make the choice to stay in a relationship and you don't have those things I would I would challenge you to look at whether you're with that person out of insecurity versus. 56:56.80 Max Shank Um, it's really more like codependence and you're not willing to cut your losses even though it's the right choice I mean that is 1 of the most common fallacies in relationships is the sunk cost fallacies. Well I've been with this person it. So I'll stay with this person and it's like. 56:58.77 mikebledsoe Out of true desire. 57:04.43 mikebledsoe Right. 57:13.18 mikebledsoe In here. 57:16.80 Max Shank No, it's the same as ah, owning stock or owning possessions. It's not what I keep this. It's would I buy this today brand new again and if the answer is no then like what are you doing like yeah. 57:32.20 mikebledsoe That's. 57:36.79 Max Shank Oh man, it really is That's why I was so interested to talk about this and it's funny how you and I were just both thinking about the same thing because the whole concept of I know we both just were like how about relationships because it is I think the. 57:44.37 mikebledsoe If we didn't know what we were gonna talk about 2 hours ago. You know. 57:56.24 Max Shank The number 1 greatest thing ever is having ah like a loving romantic relationship or even just loving relationships in general and the worst thing is to have a relationship that is ah the source of Resentment. You know the source of settling for for less and it it can be really really good or really, really Awful. So It's probably the most important choice to make. 58:18.67 mikebledsoe Yeah I think. 58:27.21 mikebledsoe I would say there was a there was a ah early my relate. You know my previous relationship there was I would work to get away I would I was always wanting to travel you know business conference signed me up. You know, just a little bit of relief here and there. 58:39.61 Max Shank The. 58:45.81 mikebledsoe And but now I find myself now wanting to like I want to work to provide for the the family like I want to set things up so that we can spend more time together and when we travel apart. 59:01.59 Max Shank Yeah, perfect. 59:03.60 mikebledsoe Um, like I miss her and like it's it's it's oh I wish she could be with me instead of you know, whatever so and she actually has been traveling more than me which is ah that's a first as well is well that's not the first time I've been in relationship where they they were traveling more but it's ah. 59:12.68 Max Shank And. 59:21.36 mikebledsoe In a relationship that's lasted this long being with somebody who travels as much as she does is like okay. 59:25.45 Max Shank So when you were a little younger you were traveling a lot and not ah not getting too attached kind of so it's really funny like because you know I traveled a ton for work and I think I also. 59:32.23 mikebledsoe Yeah, yeah, okay. 59:44.60 Max Shank Had this idea that if I was desirable to women then that was the best thing so I wouldn't want to be in a relationship I would just want to be like coveted which sounds pretty like twisted I guess but that's just the way I was so I wouldn't even I wouldn't even date people who lived close to me they had to. Live like really far away so it was like totally clear like hey we're just we're just having fun. There's like nothing to because I don't want to hurt anybody's feelings. But I also thought that my worth as a person was directly correlated. Whether. As to whether as to how I was judged by women if I was desirable isn't that funny. 01:00:24.38 mikebledsoe Um, yeah, have a similar experience which is ah I was married and then like I just I wanted to be seen as desirable. So I had to walk I know a party with 2 women on my arms like instead of just 1 ne's not enough. 01:00:37.90 Max Shank Yeah, right. 01:00:41.63 mikebledsoe Have 2 I got to show that I got to show everybody that I'm desirable I'm good enough. 01:00:44.70 Max Shank And that's what I would come in with 3 and that's when I would come in with 3 because that meant I was 1 lady better than you. 01:00:54.89 mikebledsoe I wish that scene actually did go down like I walk in with 2 I'm like you walk in with 3 like fuck man. He beat me again. 01:00:56.94 Max Shank It's like that would have been. Then Jay-z walks in with 21 of them is beyonce and we're just like I guess he wins it's It's funny. Ah, how direct that message is. Like popular culture and especially music like it's all about like cars and planes and hoes and that's like the value of a man is like how many hose he has poolside and his mansion and what kind of plane. 01:01:26.72 mikebledsoe Yeah. 01:01:35.10 mikebledsoe Yeah, is a thing 1 thing occurred to me in this conversation which I'm I'm having a lot of appreciation for myself and that I never thought I'd be as good with women as I am today? Um, um, ah I did become quite the ladies man I can I can work a room. I can pick up women I can ask them out on dates fairly easy. And yeah, when I was younger I was terrified that I would never be attractive or be able to talk to women with confidence. So just conversations allowed me reflect on that. So it's. 01:02:11.79 Max Shank I think I I did the same thing I put them up on a pedestal like they were some sort of otherworldly creature and they are in a certain sense. It's interesting because what we like about women is that they're different than men. But also what we hate about them. 01:02:12.24 mikebledsoe Pretty cool. 01:02:31.78 Max Shank Is the way that they're different from men most of the time. So So it's ah it's interesting. That's what makes relationships. Um fun I think is the differences but it's also what makes them challenging because you can't know what another person's. Life experience is like and you know I think maybe 1 other thought that is important is it's never personal like no 1 Ne's ever personally rejecting you? No 1 Ne's ever personally attacking you no 1 Ne's ever. 01:02:52.23 mikebledsoe No. 01:03:09.75 Max Shank Like lashing out at you. They're just in a state where their lizard brain has taken over because they feel afraid or they just want something different, but it's never personal to you as an individual what someone else does and I think that's that's probably pretty hard for. 01:03:23.34 mikebledsoe So. 01:03:29.74 Max Shank Most people too believe but it's true. 01:03:31.90 mikebledsoe Yeah, not taking things personally is huge I think in general but in relationships yeah, that's in romantic relationships if you can master that 1 then that'll that'll help you out I mean my my girlfriend I have gotten into we've had 1 fight. 01:03:49.50 Max Shank Or. 01:03:50.91 mikebledsoe Many disagreements but were able to work it out 1 fight where I raised my voice and regretted it but um and quickly mended that is 1 of those where like the the switch got flipped. There's 3 o'clock in the morning you know I'll make up all sorts of excuses why it happened but ah. 01:04:05.98 Max Shank Here Come the excuses. 01:04:10.57 mikebledsoe Ah, ah, but now I forgot what I was talking about all the shame came rolling in. Um, yeah, so what was I talking about. 01:04:16.73 Max Shank Yeah, you should be ashamed of yourself for losing control for 1 minute. 01:04:30.30 mikebledsoe I took nootropics this morning and I think they backfired my memory has been terrible on this show. 01:04:32.87 Max Shank Oh gosh I am also cutting you off more than usual because I wanted to say a few things today. 01:04:38.86 mikebledsoe Ah I think it's good I think I think it worked out my lack of memory here. It's perfect. Perfect I hope you got a lot of words in today. 01:04:47.10 Max Shank yeah yeah I did I got in more than usual, um because that's you know how we assert our dominance in this conversation. Maybe maybe the folks at home can vote on which 1 of us is the dominant 1 in this podcast. 01:04:57.30 mikebledsoe It's not. It's right? it. 01:05:05.77 mikebledsoe Ah, we should just be a vote for every show you know who won who won this who won the match. It's like it's ah it's a podcast fight you know, um. 01:05:08.73 Max Shank Yeah, yeah, who. 01:05:20.70 Max Shank That's actually 1 of the things I like about our conversations and usually I find this is more true with talking to women as they don't interrupt and steamroll as much and they're better at listening. 01:05:31.84 mikebledsoe And. 01:05:34.14 Max Shank And I'm not trying to compare you to women at all I think I also have a more feminine conversational style where I feel comfortable just letting someone talk for a long time but it's very difficult to make any headway in a conversation if you are only talking with people who want to win the conversation. 01:05:51.60 mikebledsoe Yeah. 01:05:53.91 Max Shank Right? That's ah, that's a huge
The boys recap a Michigan Football blowout victory over the Maryland Terrapins and preview the biggest game of the Harbaugh era so far. Crack a cold one and enjoy the show. All of our Maize n Brew podcasts are available wherever you get your shows! Subscribe, rate, and leave us a review: Apple | Spotify | Google | Stitcher | Megaphone Twitter: https://twitter.com/MaizenBrew Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/maizenbrewsbn/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/maizenbrewsbn Discord: https://discord.com/invite/vZMsMTF Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Join us on today's episode for part two with Doug Noll. On this episode Doug goes into the how-to's of how to really listen, not to the words but the the feelings and emotions. If you missed the first part of our conversation, be sure to go and listen to that one https://www.raisingconfidentteens.com/episode-060 (here). Find more information about the resources Doug mentioned here: https://dougnoll.com/podcast/confident-teens-podcast (https://dougnoll.com/podcast/confident-teens-podcast) Doug's website: https://dougnoll.com/ (https://dougnoll.com) Raising Confident Teens Links Website https://raisingconfidentteens.com/ (https://raisingconfidentteens.com) Facebook Business Page https://www.facebook.com/confident.teensbizpage (https://www.facebook.com/confident.teensbizpage/) Parents Community Group https://www.facebook.com/groups/confident.teens (https://www.facebook.com/groups/confident.teens)
On today's episode Hudson and I chat with Doug Noll. Doug had a rough start in life. He was born partially deaf, nearly blind, crippled and super smart. The girls were not beating down his door when he was young. However, he managed to not only get through school, but also begin a successful career as an award-winning civil trial lawyer for more than twenty years. Then he experienced a shift and found his true calling – that of a peacemaker. Since he left his successful law practice, Doug has devoted his life to help others learn how to understand conflict. His work has helped thousands of people, some of whom society would have considered past the point of help, dramatically improve their lives. Find more information about the resources Doug mentioned here: https://dougnoll.com/podcast/confident-teens-podcast (https://dougnoll.com/podcast/confident-teens-podcast) Doug's website: https://dougnoll.com/ (https://dougnoll.com) Raising Confident Teens Links Website https://raisingconfidentteens.com/ (https://raisingconfidentteens.com) Facebook Business Page https://www.facebook.com/confident.teensbizpage (https://www.facebook.com/confident.teensbizpage/) Parents Community Group https://www.facebook.com/groups/confident.teens (https://www.facebook.com/groups/confident.teens)
Famed high school coach Joe Newton used to have his team run for 45 minutes, take a 5min break, run for 30 minutes, another 5-minute break, and finally run for 15 more minutes. Ninety minutes of total running, but split up. It’s an idea that few other teams copied, yet seems to have helped York…
The reason to use checklists. I first talked about checklists way back in episode 89 of Resourceful Designer. In it, I shared various types of checklists you can use for your business. I even shared my now outdated checklist for starting a new WordPress website. Today, I'm not going to share checklist ideas with you. Instead, I want to talk about the importance of using checklists. To emphasize their importance, I want to start by telling you a story. I heard this story while listening to an audiobook called My Best Mistake, Epic Fails and Silver Linings written by Terry O'Reilly. It's a great book of stories about failures that led to amazing things. Check it out if you have the chance. One of the stories O'Reilly tells in the book inspired is what inspired what you're reading here. It's estimated that the average American undergoes seven surgeries in a lifetime, and surgeons perform over 50 million surgeries annually. That's a lot of operations. In 2009, roughly 150,000 patients died immediately after surgery—3 times the number of fatalities from road accidents. What's scary about that number is that half of those deaths were completely avoidable. That number caught the attention of Doctor Atul Gawande, a Boston surgeon and professor at Harvard Medical School. It's the 21st century. How can all these complications happen despite the accumulated knowledge of professionals? Gawande wondered if there was a way to reduce the number of operating room errors that resulted in these deaths. To find an answer, Gawande looked at other fields for ideas. Back in 1935, The U.S. Army was looking for the next generation of long-range bombers. They held a competition between top airplane manufacturers to come up with a new design. Although the issued tender was fair for all involved. It was a known fact that Boeing's technology was miles ahead of their rivals Martin and Douglas. Boeing's new Model 299 could fly faster than any previous bomber, travel twice as far, and carry five times as many bombs as the Army requested. The Army was prepared to order sixty-five of the aircraft before the competition was even over. The big brass of the Army Air Corps gathered for the first test flight of the Model 299. The impressive machine took to the sky with its 103-foot wingspan and four gleaming engines (instead of the usual two found on most planes.) It was quite a sight to see. As the plane took flight, it climbed to three hundred feet, stalled, and crashed in a fiery ball of flames. Two of the crew died that day, including the pilot who was the Army Air Corps' chief of flight testing. The Army decided to award the contract to Douglas instead. And Boeing almost went bankrupt. However, The follow-up investigation revealed that there was nothing mechanically wrong with the plane. And it was determined that the crash was due to pilot error. But how could that be? How could the chief of flight testing, one of their most experienced pilots, make a mistake that would lead to the crash of such a sophisticated plane? As the investigation showed, the Model 299 required the pilot to monitor the four engines. Each one requiring its own oil-fuel mixture. He also had to attend to the landing gear and wing flaps, adjust the electric trim to maintain stability at different airspeeds and regulate the constant-speed propellers with hydraulic controls. And that was only a few of the things on which the pilot needed to concentrate. It turns out that while attending to all of these things, the pilot forgot to release a new locking mechanism on the elevator and rudder controls. It was a simple oversight that led to the crash. Boeing was ready to scrap the plane, but a group of pilots believed the Model 299 was flyable. So they got together to find a solution. When they later approached Boeing, they didn't request any mechanical changes to the plane. Nor did they think pilots needed to undergo extended training on how to fly it. Instead, they came up with a simple and ingenious solution. They created a pilot's checklist. They made a list that was short enough to fit on an index card. It covered all the mundane step-by-step tasks required for takeoff, flight, landing and taxiing. In other words, the checklist covered all the dumb stuff. With the new checklist, pilots flew the Model 299 over 1.8 million miles without one single accident. To distance themselves from the previous failure during the test flight, Boeing changed the name of their new plane to the B-17. The Army ordered 13,000 of them, which gave the Air Corps a decisive advantage in WWII. All because of a checklist. Since the 1960s, nurses have relied on charts, a form of a checklist, to know when to dispense medicine, dress wounds, check pulse, blood pressure, respiration, pain level, etc. And although doctors would look at these charts when visiting a patient, they viewed these checklists as “nurse stuff.” In the late 90s, a study determined the average hospital patient required 178 individual actions by medical staff per day. Any one of which could pose a risk. The researchers noted that doctors and nurses made errors in only 1% of these actions. But that still adds up to almost two errors per day, per patient. When you multiply that by every hospital worldwide, it means millions of people around the globe are potentially harmed by the very medical staff assigned to help them. In 2001, a doctor at Johns Hopkins designed a doctor's checklist for putting in a central line; a tube inserted in a large vein used to administer medication. It's a standard procedure that just about every doctor is familiar with. It was also a widespread cause of infection in patients. So this doctor devised a simple checklist listing the five steps involved in carrying out the procedure. He then asked the nurses to observe the doctors for one month and record how often they carried out each step. They found that in over 1/3 of all patients, doctors omitted at least one of the five steps. The following month, hospital administration instructed the nurses to insist doctors follow each of the steps. The doctors didn't like being told what to do by the nurses, but the nurses had the backing of hospital administration, so they grudgingly complied. When the new data was later tabulated, they thought maybe a mistake had been made. The infection rate for central lines dropped from 11 percent to zero. They continued the study for longer, to be sure, but the results were the same. It was estimated that a simple checklist had prevented 43 severe infections and possibly eight deaths in that one hospital, saving $2 million in costs. And yet, even with this evidence, many doctors refused to grasp the importance of this precaution. They were offended by the very suggestion that they needed a checklist. They already had so much to do that they didn't want one more sheet of paper to worry about. To prove his point, the doctor who wrote the checklist introduced it to other hospitals in Michigan. There was pushback, but in just three months, the rate of bloodstream infections dropped by 66 percent. Many of the test hospitals cut their quarterly infection rate to zero. A cost savings of nearly $200 million. All because of a simple little checklist. All checklists have an essential function. They act as a “mental net” to catch stupid mistakes. In 2005, the director of surgical administrator in a Columbus, Ohio hospital created a checklist for operating rooms. It contained simple things such as verifying they had the correct patient on the table and the right body area prepared for the surgery. This little addition improved surgical success rates by 89%. There's a lot more to this story. In his book, O'Reilly shares stories of how more and more hospitals started implementing checklists for various things, but I'm not going to bore you with them. Back to the original story. In 2008, after conducting his research, Atul Gawande devised a checklist to be tested by a group of pilot hospitals worldwide. Some operating rooms embraced it, while others protested it as a waste of time. During a knee replacement surgery to be performed by one of the checklist's most vocal critics, it was discovered while checking the boxes that the prosthesis on hand was the wrong size. If they had started the surgery, the patient might have lost his leg. That surgeon became an instant checklist evangelist. In all the hospitals using the checklists, surgical teams began working better together, and the surgical success rates soared. Complications fell by 36 percent, deaths by 47 percent and infections by 50 percent. And patients needing return visits to the operating room fell by 25 percent. What's amazing about using checklists is that they dramatically improved an outcome without increasing skill or expenditure. Instead of adding rigidity to their lives, checklists free people by getting the dumb stuff out of the way. Today, 90 percent of hospitals in North America and 70 percent worldwide use a checklist. And you want to hear something funny. When Gawande's original pilot project was completed, doctors were asked to fill out an anonymous survey. Seventy-eight percent said the checklist had prevented errors. But there was still 20 percent who didn't like the checklist saying it took too long to implement and didn't think it was worth it. However, when those 20 percents were asked if they had to undergo surgery, would they want the checklist to be used? Ninety-three percent of those who opposed the checklist said yes. I hope you found these facts as interesting as I did. Now you may be saying, sure, a checklist in a plane or an operating room makes sense. It can save lives, after all. But I run a graphic design business, so I'm good. I don't need checklists. I used to think that way as well. But remember, checklists are freeing because they help get the dumb stuff out of the way, which frees you up for the more important things you do. I remember a couple of years ago. I was doing routine maintenance on one of my websites I had launched a couple of years prior. While verifying and updating things, I noticed something that almost made my heart stop. The little checkbox next to “Discourage search engines from indexing this site.” was still checked. Meaning, for close to two years, my website was telling search engines, “I'm good. Don't pay any attention to me. Go look somewhere else.” That's a stupid mistake that I could have avoided with the use of a pre-launch checklist. Today, I have several checklists I use regularly. I now have a website pre-launch checklist. A WordPress install checklist. A first client contact checklist. A podcast client checklist. A Resourceful Designer podcast checklist. And many more. As I said earlier, these checklists help ensure the dumb stuff gets done so that you can concentrate on the more important things without worrying. If you are not already using checklists in your business, I suggest you start now. And if you think that your checklists are in your head, remember the story about doctors putting in a central line. There are only five steps involved, steps that every doctor knows. And yet, when observed, nurses noted that over 1/3 of all patients, doctors missed at least one of the five steps. Your memory is failable. A checklist is not.