Nothing Works Here

The pandemic rages on. Ed and Ginger are sequestered at their respective domiciles and producing the show via video conferencing so you'll have to excuse the weird audio...we're working on it! Ed's wife, Savannah, has been busily preparing for the long period of staying at home. If fact, she seemed to know a lot more about what was to come than anyone not in the health care profession. There must be only one answer: SHE'S NOT FROM THIS PLANET.

After a three-month hiatus attempting to get a business running, Ed and Ginger are back...BUT they're stuck at their respective houses because of the damn Coronavirus. That doesn't mean we can't get together and talk things up, however! Sit back and enjoy the comforting sounds of your buddies as we all get through quarantine in America!

Ginger gets shorted $1,400 on her last paycheck, Star Wars has turned into an unrecognizable mess and shopping at Victoria's Secret with your 14-year-old is tremendously awkward. Merry Christmas!

THIS JUST IN: Walmart is actually kind of cool. We know that you won’t believe us but no worries. You’ll have to tune in to this episode of Nothing Works Here to find out how the big box store is making strides to make you actually WANT to shop there. However, having to go out in public with EVERYONE ELSE just isn’t fun. In fact, sometimes it downright sucks. Doesn’t it seem like Christmas shopping is a season of Survivor sometimes? Pushing and shoving and rudeness…forget THAT. So bring on the world of online shopping! Now we can all be crazy recluses! Being a recluse could be sort of fun with all sorts of packages getting delivered including Ginger’s latest shipment of horrendously expensive wine. We’re opening that $#!+ next week! Ed is the biggest Star Wars nerd ever yet he’s not excited about “The Rise of Skywalker”. But it might be that lack of excitement (and expectation) that may make this round the best ever…maybe? All this (and more for the holidays) on NOTHING WORKS HERE!

It's Christmastime in Pleasantville which means everyone is merry, especially Ed and Ginger who have quit their jobs at the Pleasantville War Memorial Civic Center. Yes, really.

Ginger's got stories just in time for the holidays! Between her old classmate turning people gay and spending obscene sums of money, she is gearing up for Christmas. Enjoy!

Disney Plus is finally here and with it an incredible new Star Wars show! Ed can't stop going on and on about it but Ginger is waiting until she's all caught up on...watching online videos of people eating food? Craziness. Happy Thanksgiving!

Ed and Ginger have made it one year without giving up! Did you SEE that World Series game? And did you HEAR Joe Buck phone it in again? Enjoy!

Between Ginger not remembering what beer she's drinking, Ed's mom getting a tattoo and Ed's wife Savannah rummaging around her grandmother's house finding old booze, it's been a real white trash week in Pleasantville.

In this episode:Things at the Pleasantville War Memorial Civic Center still suckJob placement email services are really just about (shocker!) sending you spamYou’ve got to have a dark soul to work for a talent agencyGinger doesn’t like coffee (WHAT?!?)Savannah is responsible for corrupting Ed with all the great vices in lifeCraigslist can be creepy and Ginger loves true-life stories of murderSkunk carAmazing Verizon service storyCutting the cordThe Last Jedi is the worst Star Wars movie EVER and really shouldn’t be considered a Star Wars movieEd and Ginger bet on whether Joker’s gonna be nominated for best picture, RDJ’s gonna win best actor and maybe Avengers: Endgame is gonna win best picture?Ginger can understand why people snap at work nowEnjoy!

Ginger has HAD IT with the accounting department.

Have you ever had a job, a relationship, family struggles…that resulted in actual physical sickness? Let us tell you right now that it’s AWFUL. On this week’s episode, Ed and Ginger layout how stress has introduced some issues into their daily routines. Shingles at 47? GAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH. And the medication they give you for it? “Stop taking if you have mental/mood changes like confusion, new/worsening feelings of sadness/fear, thoughts of suicide or unusual behavior.” Dear LORD. Nothing Works Here starts…NOW!

Beware the Cylons!

Just celebrating his 47th birthday, Ed pontificates on not sleeping now that he’s older and how times at the Pleasantville War Memorial Civic Center seem dire these days. The Women’s Field Hockey team, security vendor changes and Miss Tiffani aren’t making things easier. Cannabis cream is a thing and it WORKS. Hear Ginger’s harrowing tales of visiting multiple pot shops to find it! All this AND: Human Composting. Game of Thrones. Millennial burnout (poor babies). Mommie Dearest on TNT. Come have a laugh and a listen, won’t you?!?

Hey, everyone: Ed here. Ginger is on vacation so I’m lying down on the therapy couch and letting loose about divorce, life, and being cool to your fellow human beings. I got taken back to court for (hopefully) the last time by the Ex. It took a weirdly tragic emotional toll on me after ten straight years of hell. This episode is just me waxing poetic regarding the end of the road of the “paperwork” and where I go from here now that my boy is eighteen years of age and off to college. Warning: While this show is NOT necessarily funny, it might help those of you out there that go through the same ridiculous crap with former significant others. ***Apologies for the weird Tinker Bell tambourine-ish sounds throughout…I’m still figuring out this audio mixing bit!***

‘Tis the Season for Kurt Russell as the Santa we all need in these dark times! PLUS: Thieving, gambling nuns gone rogue, cheesecake (not THAT kind) promotions gone horribly wrong, young store cashiers who don’t understand what cash is and…PRESENTS! Grab that eggnog and raucously listen to this very merry episode of NOTHING WORKS HERE! Yay!

In today's episode, Ginger is all freaked out about the infamous Dr. He and his evil, gene-spliced embryos sanctioned by the Chinese government! It's all okay though because we've got a Christmas gift list for the stupid rich! And: Ginger breaks down and purchases a fake Christmas tree. Hilarity ensues. All this and more on...Nothing. Works. HERE.

Big thanks to these artists for their permission to use their sick beats:Canon and Variation and Hip Hop Christmas by Twin Musicom is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution license (https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/)Artist: http://www.twinmusicom.org/

Ed finally gets around to watching Stranger Things 2 (because of Halloween and all) and can't shut up about how good it is. Thanksgiving is coming up and it's TOTALLY better than Christmas. Finally, Ed and Ginger wonder: Does every workplace have crazy accountants (or three)?

Winter has hit Pleasantville, USA, and Ed isn't ready to deal with the dark and cold! Ginger has her knickers in a twist over the new redhead emoji. Meanwhile, our beloved president has had a really memorable week of tweeting and press conferences (even for him); Ed and Paulie talk up which political leaders would be fun to have a beer with. Enjoy!

Ed and Ginger talk up the NFL from the weekend and call attention to weird coach and player names therein. Ed attended a Divorce Party and tells you all about it. Ginge has a 5 MPH rule when driving and DAMN YOU ALL TO HELL IF YOU DON'T RESPECT IT. Yay!

Are guys supposed to tip their barber? Do barbers get angry when called hairdressers? Is there a handbook for this stuff? Is fire really necessary to kill spiders? What constitutes a "blow torch"? Are people really stupid enough to use fire from a blow torch in their houses? Man, there are a LOT of questions being asked on this episode.

'Tis the season so Ed blows $437 on light bulbs for Halloween. Paulie comments on her favorite guilty pleasure websites; one delivers custom, personal video messages from "celebrities" like drag queens and reality TV people. Wow.

You have found your weekly dose of the crazy and the ridiculous! In this first episode ever of NOTHING WORKS HERE, you'll meet Ed Matthews and Ginger Paul, two friends that enjoy to have an audio rage-out about pop culture, lovable family struggles, really dumb workplace issues and the universally stupid. The world is freaking ridiculous. It’s full of things and people that just. Don’t. WORK. We’ll bring you raw, honest commentary with each episode. Come join the hateful fun, won’t you?