Sex & Consent

POV you're having a difficult interaction with a guy about gendered violence when you suddenly reach a fork in the road …  Do you shut the conversation down, call him an idiot and walk away – or do you engage him in a meaningful conversation that might help steer him in the right direction? Well, in our view, it depends: how close or far is he from being an ally?  In this episode, we unpack our approach to engaging different types of men about sexual, relationship and gendered violence using our own successes – and failures – as a guide. If this episode brings anything up for you, you can contact 1800RESPECT or check out the support services here: https://bit.ly/3tcehNV ⚠️ CW: Lots of swearing, anecdotal storytelling of rape and sexual coercion, and discussion of sexual assault and intimate partner abuse ⚠️ 

We often talk about sexual consent in the dating world – but does sexual coercion happen in relationships too? Short answer: absolutely.  In this episode, Mardi and Lizzy unpack how sexual coercion can play out in healthy relationships and in abusive relationships, and the factors that often drive cis men's decision to coerce their women partners (including patriarchal beliefs and supporting traditional gender roles). We also cover, in particular, the use of sexual coercion and assault in abusive relationships. If this episode brings anything up for you, you can contact 1800RESPECT or check out the support services here: https://bit.ly/3tcehNV ⚠️ CW: Anecdotal storytelling of sexual coercion, discussion of sexual assault and intimate partner abuse

Between moving houses, relocating interstate and months of overseas travel, we've taken a little break – and will return to recording later in the year. As always, thank you for listening to the Sex & Consent podcast. We look forward to hopping back on the mic for you soon. Love you, Mardi and Lizzy

Like many teenagers, Megan got drunk at a house party when she was 17. When a friend offered to help sober her up in a bedroom, he instead coerced and sexually assaulted her.  After opening up about it, Megan and her parents agreed to blame the incident on her drunkenness and the topic stayed dormant for years – until #MeToo erupted. In this episode, we unpack Megan's reckoning with her assault, how she's overcome its impact on her life and how her parents took part in an awakening. If this episode brings anything up for you, you can contact 1800RESPECT or check out the support services here: https://bit.ly/3tcehNV  Come say hello on Instagram and TikTok @sexandconsent 

We all have a story to tell. In our Storytelling Mini-Series, you'll hear everyday people's stories of sexual consent, coercion, misogyny and patriarchy – which Mardi and Lizzy unpack together. In this episode, Lexi* shares her story of going home with someone she vibed with – only to be confronted with his slut-shaming, dismissiveness and a complete disregard for consent when they got home. Stuck at his place without a phone, she had to figure out how to keep safe. Through Lexi's* story we explore themes of misogyny, rape culture and sexual violence. This episode discusses rape, violence and heavy themes. If listening brings anything up for you, please contact 1800RESPECT or check out the support services here: https://bit.ly/3tcehNV Subscribe to this podcast and follow us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sexandconsent

Does the justice system really serve victim-survivors? Are all people who rape held accountable? How does rape culture intersect with the justice system? Join us as we unpack the reality of sexual violence statistics, how the criminal justice system fails victim-survivors and advantages perpetrators, and why rape myths are so important to bust. If this episode brings anything up for you, you can contact 1800RESPECT or check out the support services here: https://bit.ly/3tcehNV Subscribe to this podcast, babes, and follow us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sexandconsent/

Josh is a 45-year-old dad who works for himself, is devoted to his young sons and who transitioned at the age of 40. With the unique experience of living in the world presenting as a woman and as a trans man, Josh shares his story of coming to know who he is, the process of medically transitioning and what it's like to live truly as himself. This episode discusses topics like trans gender identity, medical transitioning and parenting as a trans person. If listening brings anything up for you, please check out the support services here: https://bit.ly/3tcehNV Subscribe to this podcast and follow us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sexandconsent

We all have a story to tell. In our Storytelling Mini-Series, you'll hear everyday people's stories of sexual consent, coercion, misogyny, patriarchy and more – which Mardi and Lizzy unpack together. In this episode, Claire looks back on a series of problematic sexual experiences from her teens and 20s. With help from Claire's eloquent storytelling, we connect her encounters with coercion, rape culture, indifference to consent and violence to their origins: patriarchy, misogyny and mainstream porn. This episode discusses rape, violence and heavy themes. If listening brings anything up for you, please contact 1800RESPECT or check out the support services here: https://bit.ly/3tcehNV Subscribe to this podcast and follow us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sexandconsent

The US Supreme Court's overturning of Roe vs Wade will impact millions of people who need an abortion – but some voices are missing in the uproar, while others are busy touting gun rights. In this episode, Mardi and Lizzy explore: What the Roe vs Wade ruling means for people who can get pregnant in the US Abortion rights in so-called Australia The absence of cis men's voices in the abortion conversation The enraging hypocrisy between abortion rights and gun laws in the US If this episode brings anything up for you, you can contact 1800RESPECT or check out the support services here: https://bit.ly/3tcehNV

We all have a story to tell. In our Storytelling Mini-Series, you'll hear everyday people's stories of sexual consent, coercion, misogyny, patriarchy and more – which Mardi and Lizzy will then unpack together. In this episode, Louise* shares her story of a nightmare housemate who turned on her when she rejected his sexual advances. We look at the ways he punishes Louise* through a framework of misogyny and abusive behaviour. Thank you for your story, Louise*. Our Storytelling Mini-Series will touch on heavy themes. If this episode brings anything up for you, please contact 1800RESPECT or check out the support services here: https://bit.ly/3tcehNV We'd love if you could subscribe to this podcast and follow us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sexandconsent *Pseudonym

We all have a story to tell. In our Storytelling Mini-Series, you'll hear everyday people's stories of sexual consent, coercion, misogyny, patriarchy and more – which Mardi and Lizzy will then unpack together. In this episode, Anna* shares an experience of sexual coercion. From this story, we pull back the layers of coercion, male fragility, victim-blaming and protection of people who coerce. Thank you for your story, Anna*. Our Storytelling Mini-Series will touch on heavy themes. If this episode brings anything up for you, please contact 1800RESPECT or check out the support services here: https://bit.ly/3tcehNV We'd love if you could subscribe to this podcast and follow us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sexandconsent *Pseudonym

In the sixth and final episode of our Consent & Coercion 101 series, we take a look at masculinity and men's involvement in sexual violence (yeah not all men, we know). We get across the current context of male-perpetrated coercion and sexual violence in Australia, the social factors that contribute to this, what people mean by male entitlement, patriarchal (sometimes called toxic) masculinity, shitty rigid gender roles for men and how men are impacted by sexual violence. If this episode brings anything up for you, you can contact 1800RESPECT or check out the support services here: https://bit.ly/3tcehNV Babes, we'd love if you could subscribe to this podcast and follow us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sexandconsent/

In the fifth episode of our Consent & Coercion 101 series, we dive into the *really* interesting research that inspired Mardi's PhD on sexual coercion. This includes two epic bits of research that debunk the ‘miscommunication theory' (the theory that date rape is merely a result of men and women “not understanding each other”) and proof that, actually, men do know how to do consent – even when they claim that it's confusing. If this episode brings anything up for you, you can contact 1800RESPECT or check out the support services here: https://bit.ly/3tcehNV Babes, we'd love if you could subscribe to this podcast and follow us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sexandconsent/ Resources Armstrong, E, Gleckman-Krut, M & Johnson, L 2018, ‘Silence, power & inequality: an intersectional approach to sexual violence', Annual Review of Sociology, 44(1), pp.99-122 Beres, M 2014, ‘Rethinking the concept of consent for anti-sexual violence activism and education', Feminism and Psychology, 24(3), pp.373-389 Beres, M, Senn, C & McCaw, J 2014, ‘Navigating ambivalence: how heterosexual young adults make sense of desire differences' Conly, S 2004, ‘Seduction, rape, and coercion', Ethics, 115(1), pp.96-121 Kitzinger, C & Frith, H 1999, ‘Just Say No? The use of conversation analysis in developing a feminist perspective on sexual refusal', Discourse and Society, 10(3), pp.293–316 O'Byrne, R, Rapley, M & Hansen, S 2006, ‘“You couldn't say ‘No', could you?”: young men's understandings of sexual refusal', Feminism & Psychology, 16(2), pp.133-154 O'Byrne, R, Hansen, S & Rapley, M 2008, ‘“If a girl doesn't say ‘no'...”: young men, rape and claims of “insufficient knowledge”', Journal of Community & Applied Social Psychology, 18(3), pp.168–193 Powell, A 2010, Sex, power and consent: youth culture and the unwritten rules, Cambridge University Press, Australia

In the fourth episode of our Consent & Coercion 101 series, we show you what rape culture looks like. Tune in as we explore definitions of rape culture, how rape culture manifests in our everyday lives, how rape culture impacts survivors of sexual assault, and examples of rape myths and where they show up. If this episode brings anything up for you, you can contact 1800RESPECT or check out the support services here: https://bit.ly/3tcehNV Babes, we'd love if you could subscribe to this podcast and follow us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sexandconsent/ Resources Kate Harding, 'Asking For It: the Alarming Rise of Rape Culture & What We Can Do About It' Lizzy refers to the Victorian Aboriginal Education Association in Northcote St Kevin's students chant recorded from video by Guardian News, 'St Kevin's students filmed singing sexist chant on Melbourne tram'

In the third episode of our Consent & Coercion 101 series, take our hand as we step inside the patriarchy (oh wait, we're already in it). Tune in as we discuss definitions of the patriarchy, how to spot the patriarchy in your everyday life, and how the patriarchy impacts women, non-binary/gender-diverse folk and men. If this episode brings anything up for you, you can contact 1800RESPECT or check out the support services here: https://bit.ly/3tcehNV Babes, we'd love if you could subscribe to this podcast and follow us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sexandconsent/ Correction: When describing patriarchal masculinity, Lizzy incorrectly said 'being physically strong' is a trait of this; she meant to say 'feeling like you NEED to be physically strong to be a man'. Resources Clementine Ford, 'Boys Will Be Boys' bell hooks, 'The Will to Change: Men, Masculinity and Love' bell hooks, 'All About Love' Jacob Tobia, 'Sissy: A Coming-of-Gender Story' Alok Vaid-Menon, 'Beyond the Gender Binary'

In the second episode of our Consent & Coercion 101 series, we're talking about consent, baby. Tune in as we discuss outdated views of consent, today's affirmative consent model, what consent and non-consent look like, consent as a process, and the nuance between consent and *willingness* to have sex (something that comes up in relationships). If this episode brings anything up for you, you can contact 1800RESPECT or check out the support services here: https://bit.ly/3tcehNV Babes, we'd love if you could subscribe to this podcast and follow us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sexandconsent/

In the first episode of our Consent & Coercion 101 series, we dive deep into the topic of Mardi's PhD thesis: everyday coercion – that is, the way that sexual coercion has been normalised in heterosexual sex. Tune in as we explore sexual coercion broadly, the tactics that people (mainly blokes) use to turn a ‘no' into a ‘yes', the connection between coercion and rape, and some of the best bits of Mardi's PhD. If this episode brings anything up for you, you can contact 1800RESPECT or check out the support services here: https://bit.ly/3tcehNV Babes, we'd love if you could subscribe to this podcast and follow us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sexandconsent/ Resources Popaganda Podcast by Bitch Media: https://www.bitchmedia.org/feminist-podcasts/popaganda Wilson, Mardi, 2021, 'Everyday Coercion: An Exploration of Young Adults' Negotiations of Heterosexual Sex, Consent and Intimacy', PhD Thesis, Griffith University, Australia⁠