Absent Father Podcast

In this episode, Dr. Gary Salyer discusses a new take on attachment theory, based on his groundbreaking research into this science of how our brain gets wired to love and be loved. He shares a technique for breaking the cycle of picking partners that mirror early childhood experiences which left us feeling unloved or unworthy.Dr. Gary Salyer is a transformational relationship mentor. For the last decade, Dr. Salyer has been in private practice offering singles and couples heart-centered transformation so they can re-write the rules for love in their brains and create a love that lasts. Dr. Gary speaks to a national audience as a featured expert on various celebrity TV and radio shows such as Hay House Radio and Coast to Coast AM. He is the author of the ground-breaking book, Safe to Love Again: How to Release the Pain of Past Relationships and Create the Love You Deserve.www.garysalyer.comLearn more at absentfatherproject.com | rodneymueller.comEmail me at me@rodneymueller.comTheme song written and performed by Scott Ginsberg.www.scottginsberg.com

In this episode, I interview Mytrae Meliana, who is a trained holistic psychotherapist and sound healer. What does it look like to address the pain or the wound of growing up with an absent or distant father? We explore the concept of re-parenting - finding your own inner parent who will be with you no matter what. We also discuss how to tap into the inner parent and our innate ability to heal ourselves.Mytrae, who is A WOC immigrant from India, shares her own story of healing and empowerment in her memoir "Brown Skin Girl: An Indian-American Woman's Magical Journey from Broken to Beautiful".www.mytraemeliana.comSign up at her Temple of Sound Healing website to receive a free Crystal Singing Bowl recording:www.templeofsoundhealing.comLearn more at absentfatherproject.com | rodneymueller.comEmail me at me@rodneymueller.comTheme song written and performed by Scott Ginsberg.www.scottginsberg.com

In this episode, we learn the deeper meaning of super-resilience fromDr. Scott Mills, creator of the Human Evolution System: A GentleApproach to Creating More Resilience, Abundance and Joy in the Lives ofPeople. He shows us how we can finally free ourselves from our hiddentraps.Learn more at absentfatherproject.com | rodneymueller.comEmail me at me@rodneymueller.comTheme song written and performed by Scott Ginsberg.www.scottginsberg.com

In this episode, I talk to Mikey, a young father of two boys, who grew up with an absent father and has never met, nor seen a picture of his father. He shares about father figures that helped him along the way, coupled with the slow, steady experiences of pain and loss of growing up with an absent father. We also explore what the super powers he's created in becoming a father and his commitment to being present and connected. It's inspiring for any parent, especially if you grew up with an absent father. Learn more at absentfatherproject.com | rodneymueller.comEmail me at me@rodneymueller.comTheme song written and performed by Scott Ginsberg.www.scottginsberg.com

Today’s episode is a conversation with Courtney, a successful sales person and the mother of two young men who shares her story of starting with the idyllic family, a divorce at a young age and a father who slowly faded away.Vulnerably and courageously, she shares many painful moments, big and small, throughout her life and some deep wisdom that she has learned along the way. She shares how her experience with an absent father impacted her romantic relationships and the healing she has gained from raising two young men. Her superpowers shine through the entire conversation, from her being the leader and care taker at her father’s bedside as he passed away to the extraordinary success she has had in her career and the dedicated, self-aware mom she is today.Learn more at absentfatherproject.com | rodneymueller.comEmail me at me@rodneymueller.comTheme song written and performed by Scott Ginsberg.www.scottginsberg.com

In the second episode of Season 2 of Absent Father Podcast, I interview Nile. In his own words, he is “the product of a bi-racial, lesbian couple and was conceived through the process of artificial insemination.”His story is fascinating in that he shares all of the traits and super powers and yet, his father never left him, he just never existed. We talk about the challenges he faced trying to understand and come into his own identity, being bi-racial, having two moms and trying to figure out how to be a "man" without the guidance of a father.Nile is a deeply insightful and thoughtful human being and he vulnerably shares the challenges he faced growing up, the struggle of his parents not knowing how to deal with his big emotions and the amazing super powers he has created from that experience that has him doing deep, healing men’s work and life coaching.Learn more at absentfatherproject.com | rodneymueller.comEmail me at me@rodneymueller.comTheme song written and performed by Scott Ginsberg.www.scottginsberg.com

An interview with Toni, a mid 20's cosmetologist who has never met her father, although she knows its one of two men. One, she would be happy to have, and the other would bring even more pain to her absent father story. Learn more at absentfatherproject.com | rodneymueller.comEmail me at me@rodneymueller.comTheme song written and performed by Scott Ginsberg.www.scottginsberg.com

Exciting announcement about what to expect in Season 2. And a call for your stories. Please reach out to me if you would like to be featured on the Absent Father Podcast, be interviewed by me and share your story related to Absent Fathers in service of bringing awareness and healing to the impacts of growing up with an absent father.Also in this episode, we have a conversation about our extreme desire for reliability and where that comes from all spurred my car being stolen in February and lessons from that experience.In addition to discussing reliability, I dive into the other thing I crave which is value. Value is essentially getting the most quality by parting with the least amount of money.Check out this episode to learn how all of that relates to growing up with an Absent Father.Learn more at absentfatherproject.com | rodneymueller.comEmail me at me@rodneymueller.comTheme song written and performed by Scott Ginsberg.www.scottginsberg.com

Today's episode explores perfection and the crippling impact of always comparing ourselves to some fantasy version of life. I share two stories that really illustrate how perfectionists latch on to what's not working, in the face of all the things that are working.Finally, we also look at the superpowers that come with this curse of seeing a path to perfection in everything.Learn more at absentfatherproject.com | rodneymueller.comEmail me at me@rodneymueller.comTheme song written and performed by Scott Ginsberg.www.scottginsberg.com

Last month, I was interviewed by Mytrae Meliana, acclaimed women's empowerment and Divine Feminine teacher, speaker, author, and sound healer.In this one hour interview, we go in depth on the origin of the Absent Father Podcast, as well as the pain and learning from my own absent father story.I absolutely loved this conversation and something about it unearthed some emotions I hadn't access to in a long time.Toward the end of the interview, we discuss masculinity and leadership in the 21st Century.I hope you enjoy the conversation as much as I did.Learn more at absentfatherproject.com | rodneymueller.comEmail me at me@rodneymueller.comTheme song written and performed by Scott Ginsberg.www.scottginsberg.com

Authority Figures can be bosses, leaders, people with rank, people you perceive as better than you, rich people, etc. How we relate and interact with "authority figures" is often directly related to our relationship (or lack there of) with our fathers. In this episode, we delve into our relationships to authority figures, why they can be so triggering, the different ways we interact with them and how to create more empowering interactions and relationships with perceived authority figures.Learn more at absentfatherproject.com | rodneymueller.comEmail me at me@rodneymueller.comTheme song written and performed by Scott Ginsberg.www.scottginsberg.com

In part 2 of "Why Do Dad's Leave?" we discuss the generational nature of father absence. How our family history and the generation's who came before use greatly contribute and help explain why Dad's leave. My hope is that it helps all of us to see the bigger picture in our society that contributes to father absence and makes it less personal. If you had an absent father, there's an excellent chance that your father's father was also absent, emotionally or physically, and that his father was absent.As we begin to understand the father absence and the generation nature of it, perhaps we can begin to interrupt the cycle of physical and emotional abandonment.Learn more at absentfatherproject.com | rodneymueller.comEmail me at me@rodneymueller.comTheme song written and performed by Scott Ginsberg.www.scottginsberg.com

In this episode we tackle the big question: "Why Do Dad's Leave?" If you have a child, or a dog that you love, you might have thought about that one. How could someone abandon someone and something so great? In some ways, it may be a simple answer. That we avoid things in our lives that remind us of our shame or what we believe is not good enough about ourselves. The more shame and pain, the more we are absent.This is true for the absent father, this is true for me. So my question is no longer, "Will I abandon the people I love someday?" instead, it's "How do I abandon the people I love?"Learn more at absentfatherproject.com | rodneymueller.comEmail me at me@rodneymueller.comTheme song written and performed by Scott Ginsberg.www.scottginsberg.com

Today's episode discusses the role that spirituality and religion plays in our lives. I begin a conversation about my own spiritual journey by sharing the story of my confirmation in the lutheran church (aka Catholic without the fun stuff like drinking and gambling,) and how it served to create the opposite of "confirmation" of faith for me.I talk about the rest of my spiritual journey and how it relates to our relationship with our parents, specifically our fathers. Finally, we explore the parallels between our relationship to our parents and our relationship to God/Spirit/Universe, or as my longtime friend and mentor, Jodi Larson, might call it: "The Blueberry Muffin in the Sky."Learn more at absentfatherproject.com | rodneymueller.comEmail me at me@rodneymueller.comTheme song written and performed by Scott Ginsberg.www.scottginsberg.com

Today's episode discusses analysis paralysis. The agonizing process many of go through when making a choice about buying something.A small purchase or big purchase, we analyze to the point of exhaustion or to the last minute.How to recognize it, where it comes from and how start practicing something new.Learn more at absentfatherproject.com | rodneymueller.comEmail me at me@rodneymueller.comTheme song written and performed by Scott Ginsberg.www.scottginsberg.com

In the second installment of Our Super Powers, we discuss leadership. People who grew up with an absent or distant father tend to have these three qualities that make us exceptional leaders. I share a story of my first experience as leader in the Army, at age 21, on the verge of war leading a team much older than me. Finally, we discuss the source of this super power of leadership, and like most super powers, it's a gift and a curse. Learn more at absentfatherproject.com | rodneymueller.comEmail me at me@rodneymueller.comTheme song written and performed by Scott Ginsberg.www.scottginsberg.com

Do you find yourself in a constant pursuit of being good enough? Are you always busy, often tired and feel like you can never catch up?This episode is for you, and us. In this episode, we breakdown the never ending chase for feeling good enough, where it started, how it relates to our father relationship and how to stop running this race.We will look at creating a life where our worthiness, value and lovability are derived from the inside-out, rather than the outside-in.Learn more at absentfatherproject.com | rodneymueller.comEmail me at me@rodneymueller.comTheme song written and performed by Scott Ginsberg.www.scottginsberg.com

Today's episode is primarily about Abandonment. In 2013, I was a guest on Oprah's Life Class with Oprah and Iyanla Vanzant, when Iyanla asked a question that forever changed my perspective on abandonment. We discuss that question in this episode.We talk about the types of abandonment, what it looks like when we do it to the people we love and how to become more present, starting with our self first.Learn more at absentfatherproject.com | rodneymueller.comEmail me at me@rodneymueller.comTheme song written and performed by Scott Ginsberg.www.scottginsberg.com

Today's episode discusses depression. It's a serious word, but what does it really mean and how does it relate to the absent father wound.I also share my experience of going through a deep depression, how I dealt with it and what I learned from it.Ultimately, depression can be access to our biggest leaps of growth and development.Also, please check out the therapist/healer I shared in the show, Mytrae Meliana. She is amazing for healing and coaching.Her website is: www.mytraemeliana.comLearn more at absentfatherproject.com | rodneymueller.comEmail me at me@rodneymueller.comTheme song written and performed by Scott Ginsberg.www.scottginsberg.com

In this first installment of taking a look at the superpowers that you create along the way as a result of growing up as absent or distant father, we dive into the superpowers of intuition, empathy and safety.You might call it intuition or a deeper intelligence where you're able to connect the dots between people's current experience and other experiences. It's an ability to see behind the scenes. We also look at empathy. From our heartbreak we have a special ability to understand the depth of another person's experience, to really get and connect with other's experience. Finally, we look at the safe space that we create. For some reason, people seem to open up to us. Look for future episodes to dive into more of our super powers. Learn more at absentfatherproject.com | rodneymueller.comEmail me at me@rodneymueller.comTheme song written and performed by Scott Ginsberg.www.scottginsberg.com

In this episode, we discuss joy and celebration. We talk about how those of us who grew up with absent or distant father have a very reasonable relationship to joy and celebration.The idea is that when we "make it" or when we actually do something good enough, then we will have time to enjoy it and it will be worth celebrating. The problem for us is that whatever we do is never good enough and being that whatever we do is never good enough, there is also not much reason to celebrate.The problem is that joy and celebration are crucial to creating sustainable success and a life without joy and celebration just plain sucks.Learn more at absentfatherproject.com | rodneymueller.comEmail me at me@rodneymueller.comTheme song written and performed by Scott Ginsberg.www.scottginsberg.com

This is a wide ranging conversation about forgiveness, pain and healing. We talk about the number one access point to forgiving our fathers and others who we feel have caused us great pain. We wade into deeper issues in the world today and how it's an opportunity to start a real conversation about true forgiveness, with empathy as the key access point.We also discuss what it looks when we don't forgive, when we operate on top of our pain versus lovingly addressing it.Learn more at: absentfatherproject.com | rodneymueller.comEmail me at me@rodneymueller.comTheme song written and performed by Scott Ginsberg.www.scottginsberg.com 

In this episode we talk about money and how those of us who grew up with an absent or distant father quickly learn to equate money with our safety. We talk about the devastating impact of relating to money in this way, some of the ways it looks, the strategies we employ to protect ourselves and the possibility of creating a new relationship to money.Learn more at absentfatherproject.com | rodneymueller.comEmail me at me@rodneymueller.comTheme song written and performed by Scott Ginsberg.www.scottginsberg.com

In this week's episode we talk building community and creating healthy relationships.You've got to be in community in order to have community. In this episode, we look at healthy relationships and community, how to have them, how we sabotage it and what's possible on the other side.Learn more at absentfatherproject.com | rodneymueller.comEmail me at me@rodneymueller.comTheme song written and performed by Scott Ginsberg.www.scottginsberg.com 

In this week's episode we talk about pressure and more specifically how to not "choke" under pressure. Where does pressure come from and how does it relate to performance and growing up with an absent father.Learn more at absentfatherproject.comEmail me at me@rodneymueller.com

In this episode, we talk about procrastination. We all say it, might even identify as one, but what is it really?Why do we procrastinate and how is it related to growing up with an absent father?Get in touch with me at rodneymueller.comRead more at absentfatherproject.com

Let's break down what qualifies as an absent or distant father, what the father represents to the child and the number one impact to people who grew up with absent father.

In the first episode, I talk about my absent father story and why I want you to join me in this conversation.