Boundless Talk 无限的聊

时隔一年，又和老廖（也是我现在公司中鼎晟时的老板）坐下来聊聊这一年的变化。有他，站在创始人角度的一些“肌肉撕裂般的”变化；也有我作为新加入团队的成员亲身的创业感受。希望我们的故事能够给现阶段的你带来一些冬日的温暖或者陪伴～love04:10 2023年公司的巨大变化——“和七年前甚至不是一个公司”14:18 老廖今年最高兴的事儿——几位老朋友的加入为公司带来了巨大的能量27:16 Yvonne发出感慨：合伙人可太重要了！同伴的配合是我今年几乎无休的能量来源33:30 提问老廖：对于之后公司的发展，是清晰的么？36:25 老廖的分享：当员工对老板提问“是什么支撑你每天能量满满的工作？”43:36 Yvonne这一年的收获（作为老师部分）——习得新技能，让我最开心53:53 作为教学总监，Yvonne收获了什么（作为管理者部分）——配合的重要性59:20 创业公司的常态不是快意人生，而是忙到快没有人生。。。01:01:30 希望2024更好哟～

如题～

这期邀请了两位嘉宾——老廖和Chris，他们是创业马上进入第七个年头的合伙人，也是我合作和相处多年的朋友。看标题，听友们也能想到，六年的故事很难在100分钟内讲完。如果你期待的是一个创业成功的励志故事，可能你会失望；如果你期待的是“创业圣经”，那大概率你也会失望；如果你希望听到创业当中的艰难，那些踩过的坑、建立的感情；那些“经历的时候是苦难，回头看全是回忆”的点点滴滴，那么这期节目就是这个了。在嘉宾老廖和Chris的叙述中，可以听到两个人对这六年有着不同却也类似的感触。那些只有亲身经历过的“至暗时刻”，那些“有人拉一把”的共同拼搏。都让在旁倾听的我感同身受。也让我对即将加入的这个团队充满信心。哦，对了，也借这期节目向我的听友们通知一下，老廖和Chris既是这期节目的嘉宾，也将会是我之后事业上的合伙人。具体他们之前经历过了什么，一起听节目吧～00:05:08 老廖为什么会想开始创业00:11:15 Chris为什么会开始创业00:26:30 什么是合伙人？两个人合作的开始00:48:00 “至暗时刻”的到来01:02:00 对老廖而言，低谷中如何找到出路——归因自己01:15:45 个人合作的时候，不要抱着“我能改变你”的期待；对待在乎的人，要经常表达01:21:30 创业嘛，就是没有才要创啊01:25:00 创业嘛，就是把能力强的“单兵”都凑起来，组成“体系”01:36:30 创业嘛，就是做一个模型，但是模型背后，全是人性01:42:30 底气就是，人都在

Hi，好久不见。今天的Boundless Talk又是Yvonne一个人的单口，梳理自己思路的同时，跟大家分享一些经历和思考。关于焦虑，你真的想过你焦虑的东西是什么吗？又是什么导致了你现在“焦虑”的体现。以及能不能找到渠道疏通烦恼，或者解决焦虑呢。这期节目我试图去梳理自己的经历当中的焦虑是什么，以及为什么会有这些情况，以及现阶段的我如何去平衡自己的状态，希望你能从中get到一些对你有帮助的点。也欢迎听友们分享你自己的观点和故事~02:48 焦虑的底层逻辑17:52 你可以做自己的诊断师20:53 焦虑不松弛23:37 举一个我爸的例子35:53 这里口误了——牛油果和坚果是优质脂肪38:51 要有耐心，让一点一滴积小成多41:20 警惕“高效率”、“快”的陷阱42:17 我也曾焦虑到成为百合网的会员45:23 创造自己的“赛道”48:27 看综艺对我而言是个很好的放松和缓解焦虑（夹带一个小私货：披荆斩棘的哥哥二公里的《小半》，我特别喜欢这个舞台，以及歌曲的编曲和表达。大家去看呀~）50:33 认真学习跟自己相处，让“the only person you can count on is yourself”不只是一个口号

Hey，my dear friends～How are you doing？最近Yvonne和Niki在繁忙的暑假搬砖中，播客暂时更新不了了。但是呢，我还是想跟各位分享一下我最近喜欢的一首歌：Allen Su苏醒的一首新歌《Love Beyond The Sea》我给它的中文名是：爱随海来。但是都没有英文更有意境。一点点的蓝调和爵士，自在的调子，很适合在初秋给你带来一丝丝凉凉的问候～这是我的翻唱，自己随意发挥了一下～Hope you like it还有，不要忘记享受秋天，the best season's coming！

人生有趣的其中一个原因，就是你知道你会变化，但是你不知道什么时候，也不知道自己会如何变化。宇宙就像你的对手戏演员，你并不知道你的表演会如何随着他而进退。最近的我并没有行万里路也并未读万卷书，但是能深深感觉到自己某些原有的思维方式在逐渐脱落。这样的改变并非出于我主观的控制，它就是自然发生了而已。于是我就跟随吧。具体的内容是关于跟父母关系的，但是我们好像都通过这个命题，探寻到了更多的答案。希望听播客的你也有共鸣。01:43 Niki回家之后喜提“seven-days quarantine in hotel”10:23 在家呆了一段时间和父母相处之后的自我思考11:47 Niki的故事16:09 脑子很好，但真的需要每时每刻都以此为傲吗？22:00 给「心」以空间，让「心」带领你26:58 Yvonne推荐周海宏教授的B站视频「音乐何须懂」28:06 区分「感性」和「情绪化/很多情绪」34:50 Yvonne的故事38:24 作为女儿的我，其实是利用父母对自己的爱，操控他们的情绪44:28 对自己诚实——说起来很简单，但实操起来真的不容易46:37 希望你们听到现在，还没有被我们绕晕47:47 透过所有的关系，看到自己49:05 清空自己，才能拥抱将要进入你的

大家好，我是拾贰。又来一期推送，让我们帮着Y主播公然蹭蹭热点，聊一期最近靠直播带货火出圈的新东方。虽然董宇辉老师的热点时效性过了，但是这么大的厂子，是永远有话题可聊的。所以，哈哈哈也不算是过时了吧。这一期是反客为主的一期，主要是因为我实在是对于新东方有着太多的问题。这波直播热潮引起了我很多的注意，也攒了很多问题。我作为一个有着一些新东方情节的局外人几度看新闻热泪盈眶。那作为局内的Y主播，到底是如何看待此次新东方直播间火遍全网的呢？当然，这个是个引子。之后，我们聊到了如何成为一个新东方的老师，以及新东方到底是一个什么样的企业，一个在新东方工作了十年的人，对这家公司有着什么样的感受？我个人认为，这一期新东方是要为Y主播额外付费的，因为是被"硬广”了。需要补充的是，节目录制结束后，Y主播说自己忘记说了一个非常关键的点，就是新东方是一个可以和同事交朋友的公司。她很多好朋友都是新东方的同事/前同事。我表示很羡慕，这个不是很容易的。另外，感谢这期节目，让我意识到自己是一个拒绝了新东方三次的女人。看来我也挺酷的，哈哈哈哈哈。话不多说，我们听节目吧。07:00 Y主播眼中的「新东方老师们」08:12 董宇辉老师很优秀，但很多新东方的老师都是如此的优秀、真诚20:23 新东方老师就是最早的带货主播啊30:24 励志是真，感动是真，厌烦可能也是真37:00 新东方老师是真的有「笑话库」42:13 十二女士和新东方的不解之缘48:45 新东方这个企业的最大魅力是让每个人找到自己，成为自己53:26 Y主播眼中的俞敏洪老师1:00:50 Y主播：我的学生也是我的老师1:05:12 几多风雨几多晴，祝新东方有风有浪，继续远航

大家好，我是拾贰。伴随着轻松雀跃的心情，我来写这篇推送的内容吧。本来来到Y主播家做客，是要聊另外一个话题，结果，Y主播的一曲《童年的回忆》，让我感慨万千。顺带也回忆起了，没有童年的只有练琴的童年的回忆。于是和Y主播一拍即合，决定要聊一期各自“从小开始练琴”这件事情。幸福的童年是一样的，但是不自主练习一种“特长”的孩子的“不幸”可能是相同的。比如我和Y主播。Y主播4岁开始练钢琴，连了X年。我6岁开始练古筝，连了8年。儿时别人在外面玩耍的时间，我们都用来练琴了。和父母的对抗，对目标的追逐，和一些想放弃而不得的痛苦，让我们对乐器以及相关的音乐，都有着一种很矛盾的情绪。偏巧，我们两个看到过周海宏教授《音乐何须懂》的分享，解开了很多幼时学琴的心结，也让我们对音乐有了更多的理解。不用每天练琴的时间已经很遥远了，但是有一些东西已经成为了我们的一部分。儿时“被迫”的辛苦是否对我们有意义？意义在哪儿？还愿意重来吗？ 这个可能是终极的问题，我们尝试给出过一些自己截至目前的结论。可能这件事情和鸡娃的逻辑是一致的。于是，我们是不是要真的鸡娃，我们从小对于练琴的经历似乎也是一种验证。当然这是个延伸话题，我们并没有在这一期探讨。总之，欢迎大家听这一期节目。同时，我也要说的是，Y主播做菜是真好吃。吃完了录节目绝对可以让节目效果增加100分。另外，今天的音乐比较特别，是我们俩自己弹的。拾贰同学的是《战台风》慢板部分。之所以选这个，一个是因为也没录过太多自己弹琴的音频，一个是这个曲子是自己练过上千遍的，如果选一首放到网上，那就是这个了；Y主播选的是「水边的阿狄丽娜」ps，私心部分：搜索公众号海角胡同12号《濑名，把壁障，撤走吧》，就是里面提到的悠长假期的观后感。木村拓哉实在是帅。06:17 十二和古筝的故事41:16 Yvonne和钢琴的故事53:27 周海宏教授的《音乐何须懂》，以及十二女士重看《悠长假期》的新体会01:05:25 语言和音乐都是了解世界的方式，同时也是自我的表达01:11:52 音乐对我们来说是什么01:20:32 收在一个好笑的小故事这里吧

这期又是Yvonne的单口。在节目里提过好多次音乐剧，这次就来补之前挖的坑了。这期节目围绕一个主题——中国音乐剧演员刘令飞，以及他所参演的一些音乐剧展开，主要是讲了我自己和音乐剧的一些小故事，以及我喜欢的一些剧的介绍。节目里的垫乐《凝望月亮》，我讲过，我放过（Episode31未能上架），每个月亮很美的夜晚，我都会在朋友圈推荐的一首音乐剧歌曲。单听这首歌已经足够美了，如果有机会再去现场感受，一定更棒。也期待下次能去上海看刘令飞刘师傅的现场。无论怎么低头捡钱，抬头望，天上总有月亮，照亮漆黑的夜空，和满地的六便士

又...拖更了，嘻嘻嘻今天是个好日子，听友们快去享受夏日的阳光吧～It's a PERFECT day！

这期是Yvonne串台芥末章鱼我们聊了一下，如果时间重启，回到2019年，你最怀念的部分是什么；或者说，如果疫情马上就结束，你最想要立刻，马上，right now去做的事情是什么。从2020年开始，我开始学习跟这个变化的世界相处，无论它怎么无常，总有一些确定的事情让我安心，比如，学会跟好的跟自己相处；比如，有很多我在乎的人；比如，很多在乎我的人。我也问了芥章的三位主播，在疫情期间习得的一些习惯或者生活方式，并且想继续下去的，有哪些。其实，在一起聊聊天，就挺开心的也希望听友们，听的开心。以及，疫情结束了，我们一起跳舞吧～

这期是Yvonne的中文单口。翻自己的微博，发现了在时光里一些被记录下来的美好，那些不经意的，没有预期的，陌生人带给我的美好。文字能留下回忆，声音也是。这期播客就是单纯的想跟听友们分享一下，那些曾在我的生命当中留下过浅浅足迹的陌生人，带给我当天的小美好。也是我给自己的一个声音日记。很多时候，big picture太难以企及了，容易让人有挫败感，或觉得受打击；反而是一些当下发生的，琐碎的，微小的事情，能及时的带给人美好的感受。去感受生活、体会生活，美好或不美好都是经历～With Love Always️

又是五月。Boundless Talk 一周年了。本来起播客名字时候我还想说让它叫做Why So Serious,不过后来我也忘记为什么我们选择了Boundless Talk做名字，某种缘分吧。每周一期的录制，偶尔走走心，偶尔闲扯淡，都是挺真实的存在状态。最感谢的是我们为数不多的听友们。虽然你们也不怎么留言吧，但是知道我们没有完全对着空气说话这件事儿也是挺心安的。而于两位主播本身，播客有着并不完全相同的意义。至于如何不同，你们去听听看就知道了。一周年快乐~

脑机接口发明之前，人类的绝大部分沟通还是要靠语言，而这本身是一件既奇妙又有点悲伤的事情。奇妙，因为我们是世界上唯一可以做到用语言形成故事表达抽象观点以形成共识的动物；悲伤，因为你几乎不可能通过目前人类所掌握的沟通方式去让一个即便你很爱的人彻底理解和认同你的想法：即使你们认为当下持有的观点相似，你脑中支撑此观点的图景跟另个人脑中的图景都很可能相差甚远。当然，观点相似已经是一种奢侈。于是我们就聊了聊沟通这个事儿，以及高质量的沟通为什么这么难。当然这期的目的并不是停在一个“难”字上。你可以因为它困难而为它感到抓狂，也可以知道它难，而不对所谓“被人理解”抱有什么期待。这两者之间可就是巨大的心态差别了。祝你们有自己的答案。

这期BT少了Niki主播，Yvonne就来蹭友台流量了。BT的两位主播所从事的行业，从去年开始经历了大规模的裁员。虽然我们的小行业并不在被整盘端掉的范围，但我自己仍然经历了长达一年之久的焦虑。芥章三位主播所从事的互联网行业，这两年的发展也很魔幻。大家从各种新闻上屡见不鲜各种被裁之后的悲剧。带着各自对行业的焦虑，我们开始了这一期的录制。本来想着是：如果所从事的行业不再能够维持下去，自己怎么办。可是聊着聊着，方向就不受控制了（主要是因为友台的某位主播）；气氛就突然向欢乐的方向发展了下去。虽然不是我本来的预期，但是聊完之后，我真的没什么可焦虑的了。如果你也有类似的焦虑，如果你想知道我们最后分别怎么把自己给开解了，那就一起听节目吧PS：垫乐感谢优质听友老季的推荐，我很喜欢！

这期是和吉吉聊天的下半程。我们经过了三个多小时的拆箱之后，回归到了一些最近各自的经历和感受。吉吉刚领证不久（恭喜），所以我很好奇，是什么可以让一个独居很久的人决定要跟另外一个人共度余生，以及如何容忍空间内另一个人的长期存在。也聊到了我工作当中的一些坚持，以及前一天刚收获的感动。吉吉说，有些东西就是一生一会。即便你之后能够再次遇到，它也已经不再是之前的那个“它”了。这比一期一会可能更难得和值得珍惜吧。很抱歉开头的时候有水壶烧开的声音，请听友们见谅～

这一期邀请到我的好朋友兼前同事吉吉。—————————————————————————————————————————辛丑年冬，我赴景德镇做了一个月陶瓷，在南方湿冷的山雾里，沉浸式地体悟充满不确定性的艺术。在与陶瓷修行的日子里，我学会与每个环节可能出现的意外和解，一如应对充满变数的生活。初春三月，陶瓷出窑抵京。欢迎你与我们一起，在客厅里席地而坐，促膝玄谈，听猫咪嬉游，拆箱陶瓷盲盒，听每一件陶瓷器物，如何给我们治愈和欢喜，如何记录了生命中的某个当下，如何与我们在时空里相逢。

时隔一个月，两位主播终于又meet up回归BT的常规录制，主要聊了聊最近Y主播的一件人生大事。放心，不是你们想的那件事，是她终于要搬到自己买的房子里了！从处理旧家具到paint the wall, 跟人跟事交互的过程中也产生了有意思的感想和体会。就，怎么讲，当Y告诉我她要每天去跟空房子培养感情的时候，我莫名其妙产生了一种zen的体验。但愿在听播客的你也能感受到吧。

最近Yvonne的事情实在是太多了，其实跟朋友录了期节目，但是一直没有剪出来。几天在办事儿的路上突然哼起来了这首歌，哼了一路，回来就录下来了，算是给各位听友致歉了（其实并没有任何听友在意是否更新是么�）Anyways，正片仍然不知道什么时候会上，大概是等我忙完了吧。鞠躬

许多人都会有这么一个困惑：如何能学好英语呢？问出这个问题的时候，英语就变成了一个学科，而不仅仅是一种语言了。想想你是怎么学习中文的，就大概知道为什么英语学不好了。因为你没有把它当成一种交流工具。这期想聊一下为什么英语不好的三个主要原因，或者说，如何让你的英语有提高的三个关键点。这期语速偏慢，语言简单，适合脱离文字稿，纯听。GRE--Graduate Record Examination, is a standardized test that is an admissions requirement for many graduate schools in the United States and Canada and few in other countries, according to Wikipedia. Unlike TOEFL, a test of English, with which people are more familiar, GRE is a test in English. I know a lot about this test, and I had a lot of experiences about how to conquer that. But I can't say I am a master in GRE, I just learned a lot from this examination. And I'm still a student, just like you, who wanna know more about how to improve your English, critical reasoning, logic, and all intellectual fields. Today I'd like to share you all GRE takers or anyone interested in learning English, three key points to improve your English. I'm Yvonne, and welcome to BT English. First of all, don't memorize words only from vocabulary books. Pick up words in the reading contexts. Have you ever had this kind of confusion? I learned a new word from a vocabulary book, and I can even remember the position of the word in the book. But I just cannot recall the meaning of it. Hm, that's you, uh? Why?Think about yourself. How did you learn Chinese, our mother-tongue? You can speak Chinese even before you can read Chinese characters on paper, right? How did you get that? You learn how to speak Chinese by imitating your parents first, and then you learn more from TV, reading articles on magazine, newspapers. You never, almost never, learned Chinese by memorizing it from a dictionary. So did English. Pick up words in conversations, in articles, and in reading materials. What's important is not you can memorize the meaning of a new word in the dictionary, but you can use that word in your speaking or writing. Secondly, for the English test takers, especially for the GRE takers, do more readings. Over thousand times, I heard my students' complaints that "Yvonne, vocabulary is my enemy, that's why I can't conquer GRE". Not really. You can't go through this test not only because of a paucity of words but because of a paucity of knowledge. I didn't mean to offend you guys, but that's the truth. When you encounter "suffrage movement" in the reading comprehension part, you get confused. When you encounter "empathy" in the text completion part, you just use it as a synonym of "sympathy". You don't know anything about supernova, an exploding star, or temperance movement, a movement consisting of the largest woman movement in the 19th century America. Yes, we did know a lot about our country, but we knew little about the world history. Thirdly, learning English is a long-term project, which means it's not that obvious when you did make some progress. I think that partially accounts for the question: why so many students are crazy into memorizing words. You are lulled into a false sense of getting improved by the increased number of words you can remember. I know, in modern period, we human beings are all set in a fast freeway. We prefer fast foods, make easy money, and scroll cell phones seeking the next excitement. But you cannot learn English well in such a rush way. You need time to learn new words, and to get familiar with a new phrase. Here is my suggestion: let your interest guide you. If you are interested in literary, go grab some books or e-books of novel. If you are interested in natural sciences, come on, there are tons of documentaries on the Internet. Whatever you are interested in, go for it. You're not learning English. You are learning something you love, by the way, in English. And gradually, you know more about this world as well as about English. I would love to share my experiences and my knowledge all about how to practice English and how to conquer GRE、TOEFL、IELTS stuff thing in the following episodes, and I hope that'll be helpful. I am Yvonne, and see you next time.

最近国内的各大视频网站上重映了《老友记》，你看了没？第一季上线之后，我已经看了五遍。以前看的时候并没有太大的感受，甚至还觉得因为年代久远，有些无法找到共鸣。这次也不知道是怎么了，就是会被六个人的感情给打动，被Monica的那句“Welcome to the real world! It sucks. You are gonna love it”拽进故事当中，随他们笑而笑，随他们难过而难过。Anyways，今天我要聊一聊老友记了(主要是第一二季)，你准备好了嘛～Which one do you like best, Monica, Rachel or Phoebe? And how about the gents? Ross, a little bit geeky, nerdy, but very sensitive and cute; Chandler, witty but sarcastic; or Joey, sometimes silly but very caring and sweet. You guys can figure out that the topic today I am gonna deal with is Friends, a television sitcom created in 1994. Since Friends reshowed on the Chinese video website recently, I have been through the first seasons for 5 times. For me, it's too hard to decide which one of them is my favorite. I just love all of them. In Friends, I can see how these characters grow and how they handle different relationships with parents, friends and lovers. I am gonna talk about several impressive scenarios in my way. I'm Yvonne, and welcome to BT English. As we all know, Ross is Monica's brother. They have shared parents. But the difference is that, to their parents, Ross is the one who never did wrong—he is the "Prince". Monica's not that lucky. Their mother is always picking on her every little detail—her haircut, her dress, her job, everything. It seems like whatever Monica did would never satisfy her mother. Thus, every time when Ross and Monica's parents stopped by her place, she felt very nervous and twirly, just couldn't calm down. Even though I don't have a sibling to overshadow me, I can still connect with Mon. When I was a teenage girl, if I did something wrong, for example, if I got a low score in examination, well, I could totally imagine what's gonna happen. However, the difficult part is that Monica has no idea about how to ingratiate her mother. But in the episode of "Nana's funeral", we can figure that out: just because her Nana, Monica's grandmother, dictated her mother these years, her Mom implicitly treated Monica in the same way. At the very end of this episode, her Mom complained her Nana to Monica, said how picky and bossy she was. Monica asked her mother "do you think things would have been better if you just told her the truth?" Her mother thought for a second and refused. I mean what a reality! No matter how old you are, people just don't wanna confront their parents. Afterwards, when her mother gotta pick on her one more time, suddenly she realized and stopped. And then, she just praised Monica's earrings. Monica said "thank you, they're yours." And her mother replied, "actually, they're Nana's."We always have lot of complaints about our parents, but we still love them deeply from bottom of our heart in the way they love us. And then, let's say something about friendship. Here are two stories impressed me very much. First one is about Joey and Phoebe. In the first two seasons, they're still friends. So, let's start from "they are just friends". Phoebe has a twin sister Ursula with whom she hasn't talked in years. Dim-witted Joey crushed on Ursula in her workplace. I just have no idea how come, I mean, don't they just look the same? Never mind, Joey just crushed on her for no reason. Phoebe was pissed off, not only because Joey didn't show up in her birthday party, but also because he celebrated birthday with her twin sister whom Phoebe didn't like that much. However, Joey's crush on Ursula ended with break-up. On the one hand, Ursula was not that into Joey. On the other hand, Joey wasn't willing to compromise on friendship. He preferred Phoebe. Just like Phoebe said, "boyfriends and girlfriends are gonna come and go, but this (their friendship) is for life."And the second one is about Monica and Rachel. When Rachel finally finds out her feeling about Ross, Ross has a girlfriend, Julie. Oh, come on, such a cliche, you know. Ross has been loving Rachel since 9th grade, but Rachel was not on the same page with him until he's over her. And suddenly, this Julie bumped into Ross. It's Rachel's turn to not feel good. Oh my god, I just wanna say "hello, what's wrong with you guys". And then, my poor little Monica, she just didn't know how to do. Julie, her brother's girlfriend and a nice woman too, invited her to go shopping together. Technically, she would love to hangout with her potential sister-in-law. But there is a Rachel, her real friend who is disturbed by Julie, this new girlfriend. When Rachel caught her going out for shopping with Julie, Monica behaved exactly the same as a husband who is caught an affair by his wife. Yep, I mean, sometimes, we treat our best friend as our partner. We just cannot stop thinking of occupation. And Rachel has her point of view, this woman, Julie, not only stole the man who might be the person she is supposed to be with, but also stole her best friend Monica, this sweet and bitter girls friendship. And then, let me turn to my favorite part—Ross and Rachel's love. What a cute couple they are! I mean, can you imagine another couple on earth could be a little more cuter than they are? No, you can't. I claim they are the cutest of the cute. Yes, you can see how much I love them, huh? I heard someone said Ross is too weak and lack of masculinity. What I wanna say is, maybe you misunderstand what is masculinity. I think a man would be more charming if he could show his care and provide emotional support for his beloved girl, not to mention how smart he is. At the same time, this man has been loving a girl for 10 years! That's the most romantic thing I can ever picture. And of course, Rachel knows that and value that very much. Rachel said they two could have real connection with each other. I have to admit that Ross is not perfect, of course, so is Rachel. But that doesn't mean they couldn't make it to be a perfect couple. Even though they are gonna have lots of troubles in the following seasons, they could fixed them up together. Like what Phoebe said, Rachel is Ross's lobster. And Ross is the man who is worth Rachel's waiting. Certainly, there are some other fantastic moments in Friends, such as the moment Ross sent his lesbian wife Carol to her lesbian lover Susan, the moment little Ben was given birth to, the moment Rachel broke up with her Mr. Right Richard. In every important single moment, each one of the six is having good company around them. Just like the lyric says "I'll be there for you, 'cause you're there for me too." All right, I guess I'm gonna stop here tonight. My dear listeners, have a wonderful night. I'm Yvonne, bye-bye.

去年秋季的时候，GRE老师教研，遇到一道填空题说：共情是很妙的事情，但是无法打破精神上的隔阂。我当时非常的同意，因为一直坚信没有真正的「感同身受」。但这几个月的经历，又让我有了一些新的感悟。也许，没有所谓「真正的感同身受」。但你愿意去倾听和体会，你愿意去相信和提供帮助，这本身就是一种很美好的事情，我想称它为「共情」。这期，根据我自己的经历，我从“自我”聊到“共情”，并且区分了一下“共情”和“同情”，如果你也有类似的体会，欢迎留言，讨论，转发～As you guys can see, I am a teacher who have been teaching GRE verbal section for more than 10 years. Recently, I encountered a question in the text completion part, which says "empathy is a wonderful thing, but it does not defeat mental separateness because all attempts to grasp the subjective experience of another are interpretations, not acts of merging." I agreed with this point in the past few years. I think it's impossible that persons share the same feelings. When your friends say"I can feel exactly what you felt", it doesn't mean they really could feel that, but just mean they think they are capable of having the shared feeling. Yes, I was a skeptic to the concept of empathy. And meanwhile, I was proud of myself that I could hold my own point of view. In other words, I had my ego, an ego that led everything I had in my life. But is that true: there is no such a thing called empathy? Everybody who would like to live an independent life must have their own ego? I am going to talk about something of "ego and empathy". This episode would be a little bit esoteric, and as well I will leave the script in the shownotes. I'm Yvonne, and welcome to BT English. First of all, I'd like to clarify my definition of Ego. Ego here, it's more like "insisting what you genuinely believe in and think"than arrogance or narcissism. In this aspect, Ego is not a completely bad idea. Using myself as an example, my ego led me to my career and brought me confidence. As a GRE teacher, I have to study the reading material deeply and seriously by my own. Unless 100% sure about the questions in the examination, without my own understanding or thinking, I couldn't deliver the knowledge to my students effectively. I have to hold my ego that "I am very familiar with GRE and I am pretty sure what I am teaching in class is right." Speaking of which, I do think that ego lead me a way to becoming more and more professional in my own field. OK, enough with the bright side of Ego, I am gonna turn to another side. I heard a lot of saying about "shedding your ego". I agreed with that, especially in the daily life. When you communicate with other people, when you wanna make some new friends, the most important thing is listening. You need to pay attention to what other people are talking about. At this moment, "what you genuinely believe in and think" doesn't that matter, your conversation and communication matters. That means, you need to put down your beliefs for a while, and focus on other's narrative. Or I can say, when you are the narrator, go ahead with your ego; but when you are a listener, please drop your ego down and just listen. Ego in this situation would interrupt the flow of communication. And when you shed your ego, you are on the way to empathy. I'd like to distinguish two words with some similarities: sympathy and empathy. Some people use these two words in a synonymous way. The overlap is real, but they're not identical. Sympathy is understood as an ability to see other people's pain or misery, and to feel sorry and compassion for their suffering. Empathy is different. Empathy is not feeling sorry, it's more like, here, I'd like to quote a saying from Pharrell Williams "empathy is about looking at someone's experiences through their lenses. " Yes, through their lenses. A lot of us are very set in our ways. We think what we think. We feel what we feel. And we're not really interested in outside points of view. But you don't really ever grow when you allow yourself to be constrained like that. Empathy here is to show you way out of limitations, to build up a connection between you and someone else, to widen the aperture of understanding. Here is my story. Instead of criticism and reproach, I felt empathetic to Strickland, a character in the book and musical The Moon and Sixpence. He is a very controversial character who has been criticized for his irresponsibility and ego many years. But when I was sitting in the theater, going through all his thoughts and ideas in the story, I could understand his thinking and his feeling. I did look at his experiences through his lenses. I knew that he abandoned his wife and children not because of his irresponsibility but because of his dream, a dream to paint exactly what had happened to him. A dream goes beyond his secular life. Empathy doesn't mean "I agree with you", but means "I don't judge you and I care". You're not self-centric anymore, and you shift from selfish to selfless.So, my dear friends, do you have any story to share? Or what's your opinion about Ego and Empathy? You're more than welcome to leave comments down below. I'm Yvonne, and see you next time.

2020年，Netflix的一部纪录片《The Social Dilemma》（中文译名：监视资本主义）上线。去年第一次看了这部纪录片，最近又重看了一遍。虽然我觉得自己对于社交媒体和网络世界有一定的认知，对于娱乐向的app有一定的自制力，以及对于网络上的信息有一定的辨识能力；但是当我看完这部纪录片还是有一些新的思考出现了。这期节目想聊聊关于这部纪录片的内容，以及我自己的一些思考。Last year, I watched a documentary film named The Social Dilemma. The film features interviews with many former employees, executives, and other professionals from top tech companies and social media platforms such as Facebook, Google, and Twitter. All of these experts talk about something we don't know about this digital world. For example, you think Google or Baidu is just a search box, and Facebook or Weibo or WeChat moment is a place to see what friends are doing. Not exactly. What you don't realize is that there is an entire group of engineers and professionals whose job is using your behavior on the Internet to track you and analyze you. That's called Big Data. Today, I'm gonna say something about this Social Dilemma. I'm Yvonne, and welcome to BT English. Big data, or 大数据, is a very popular concept in our daily life. Did you find something tricky here? We are not human beings any more, we are just data. Yes, we are objectified. But wait a second. Can we blame all the social medias for this objectification? I don't think so. It is we, people, that hand in our information to these social medias. Think about this. How often you are shopping in Taobao? How many things in your apartment are bought online? How long did you spend on the social media platforms everyday? "Oh, it's time to log in Tiktok and Weibo to find something new." We constantly need lots of information and interesting things to lead our life. We just cannot help scrolling cellphone to find next excitement. Of course, there are pros and cons about the Internet. And I'm pretty sure everyone of you can list thousands of benefits we can get from the Internet. But besides these advantages, I wanna say something bad about this cyber world. First of all, "If you are not paying for the product, you are the product." There are lots of free resources online, thanks to the Internet. But you really think all the resources are free? Let me tell you something. You paid for every single thing you got from the Internet even you didn't realize. How can it come? Maybe you would say, "I watched movies online for free, and I could download some academic materials online for free. " How did you get them? You paid attention to some ads which appeared in the middle of the movie; you register your phone number or your email for getting a free academic dissertation. You trade your attention and your private information for the movie and the dissertation. These attention and private information are invaluable products for these tech companies. That's why they could analyze and predict their consumers' psychology. Do you still think you get these resources for free? You paid much more than money. Moreover, we are thrown into a huge competition in the social medias. In other words, the social medias are producing anxieties and depression all the time. Have you ever felt anxious about your job, your weight, your appearance, or relationship with your partner? When you're on social media, you felt unsatisfied with yourself particularly. I do remember one scenario in that movie. After more than ten times retakes, a teenage girl posts a photo on her instagram and waits for some likes. Besides lots of likes, she also got something unwanted. A comment said, "can you make your ears bigger? like an elephant?" Even though this cannot be qualified as a mean word, she still felt embarrassed immediately because of her ears. Even though the person who left the comment didn't mean to offend her, the teenage girl felt hurt actually. You would say "that's a girl issue, she's too sensitive and fragile." But could anybody guarantee that the next generation would have a healthy and holistic mental development under this competitive, anxious, depressed situation. Nobody could. Last but not least, "fake news spread six times faster than true news." These days, I was overwhelmed by news about Russia-Ukraine war. Every morning, I wake up with updated number of how many people died and how many people get injured. Some posts in social media are often inflammatory, exaggerated and distorted. If I wanna know what is exactly happening in Ukraine, I have to pay much more efforts to distinguish truth from the false. Of course, I am not saying these tech companies and social media platforms are all bad. They did bring us lots of convenience and benefits in our modern life. But maybe, we could keep alert to them. For example, buy what you really need, pay for products you want. Be aware of "there's no such thing as a free lunch. " Meanwhile, know who you are, don't let others' opinion influence you that easily. And improve your ability to do critical reasoning. We are not tools or data, but we are using the tools and data. I highly recommend The Social Dilemma to you guys. If you have time to spare, this movie is a good choice. I'm Yvonne and see you around.

"Being in the present moment, or the “here and now,” means that we are aware and mindful of what is happening at this very moment. We are not distracted by ruminations on the past or worries about the future, but centered in the here and now."

Have you ever had this kind of question? What is the meaning of life?I have held this question in my mind for a long time. and I am still on my way to find an answer. This is Yvonne, and welcome to today's BT English. The「meaning of life」question happened to me six years ago, when the first time seems like I screwed everything in my life. I have done with a three and a half year relationship with a man who i thought was my soulmate. And meanwhile, my boss, a man with whom I could worked well, left and got his startup. Yes, i did look failed in every aspect of my life. And then, i was lost, I couldn't find myself a reason to proceed. I even had a thought to end my life. The only reason that i didn't do that is my family. It seems like, 「the meaning of life」for me at that moment was having both a very great intimate relationship and a very great performance in my career. I couldn't find any other reasons to cheer me up. I lost all the meanings of life. Four years later, when the virus hit the whole world in 2020, I started to think about this question second time. Because of the pandemic, I have been living at home, in my hometown for nine months with my parents. Suddenly, I didn't have anything else to do except cooking every meal for my family. I spent plenty of time to learn more about cooking: how could i keep the taste and texture of food without losing any nutrition. And how could we, my parents and I, keep fit in quarantine. I had a lof of detailed question to tackle and I had zero time to find the meaning of life. And gradually, I found my value in doing these chores. I enjoyed myself in cooking a meal, doing exercises at home with my parents, sharing my thoughts, my ideas with them. I didn't think i had to find a reason to live. I was living with the person whom i had been loving more than anybody on Earth. I didn't intend to find an answer for the "meaning of life" question any more, i just live my life with it. One day, Niki asked me,"have you ever found the meaning of life?", coz I told her i was reading some books about philosophy. "Not yet", i replied, "I think i have to read more books and i am on my way to find the ultimate answer. "But recently, I have something new in my mind. I read a book named (《西方现代思想讲义》) written by professor 刘擎. He mentions 19 intellectuals in this book who were or who are among the greatest philosophers in modern period. I was enlightened by these greatest thinking mind: maybe finding the meaning of life is meaningless, is effortless, coz there is no such a clear definition or concept. Everybody would held their own interpretations of life. The meaning of life would be too diverse and too amorphous to define. In other words, nobody except yourself could tell you what is the meaning of your life. I would have told you guys that i found the meaning of life. But in fact, I can't. We, human beings, always want a short-cut in life. We wanna get some authentic questions before examinations; we wanna know how to make easy money; we would better win a game without much practice. We long for an exact meaning of life. But there is no short-cut in life till the day you die. You have to live your own life day by day, just like playing the piano, if you wanna get some improvements, you have to practice and practice, many, many times. Ok, I think i am gonna call it a night.and at the very end of this episode. all i wanna say is that instead of finding the meaning of life, go create the meaning of your life. this is Yvonne, i hope to see you soon~

这一期，继续畅销书作者的内心坦白局本来的话题是想说：做一个freelancer的心得体会。但发现完全是「北美高圆圆」心路历程的坦白和自我成长的梳理。是难得的自我剖析和自省时刻，分享给各位，也希望大家有所思考。节目的最后硬是来了个总结，是我们播客一贯的调性——强行升华。我在和宇琪聊天的过程中，感受到了很多的共鸣，很多的相同，给我带来了很多的抚慰。非常感谢宇琪在忙碌的旅程中抽出时间做客节目，这期节目对我来说也是很疗愈的一个过程。除此之外，Boundless Talk希望能够陪伴到身边的人，以及一些路过的朋友。感谢收听～鞠躬

这期节目录制在2022年的一月初。前两天剪出来才发。其中有几次实在没有节目发，Niki说，宇琪来的那期为什么不发啊。对啊，为什么呢？我当时给出的解释是：宇琪作为重要听友的走心对话，要等到年后大家都收心了，能够沉浸下来听东西了才能发。可能还有个原因是，这期节目聊的过程中，我感受到共振带来的无比的畅快。这种情绪浓烈到，哪怕是剪辑的时候重听一次，都会唤起我很大的能量消耗。听的过程是非常享受的，但是体能上却非常累。好了，我编不下去了，我们的优质听友北美高圆圆一定能理解我的这种拖延的（嗯）。———————————————————————————————————————这次邀请BT的优质听友，畅销书《GRE长难句图解与精练》的作者高宇琪来做客。在我看来中，宇琪就是典型的「好学生」的样子，没有被生活伤害过的单纯少年的模样。但是在聊天过程中，她自己的叙事慢慢推翻了我之前对她的印象。给我展现了一个更加立体，多面，我不曾了解的一个朋友。我们有好多好多共同的心事在过去的时空中交错；也有好多我不在现场的经历，通过她的描述，同样能带给我身临其境的感受。甚至这期节目中宇琪说出的一些话，穿越时间（早一个月）呼应了我们上期浪漫的体会。提示：1. 节目开始的非常欢乐，所以这期里面有好多我的大笑，听友们注意保护耳朵2. 节目里提到的关于心理疗愈的一些过程，完全是个人经验，大家参考着借鉴。那就一起听节目吧～

Y: OK. Here it is. I'd like to introduce a brand new channel to you guys, a brand new English channel. In this channel Niki or Yvonne, or Niki and Yvonne will focus on one topic. And every episode won't last long. If you guys are interested in that, if you wanna get some improvements in your oral English or English listening, please click the subscribe button and get your journey started with us. N: OK...Am I allowed to speak right now? Yeah, congratulations. Y: So, this is...N: This is Niki.Y: And this is Yvonne. N&Y: Welcome to today's BT English. Y: Not familiar with the new title. And ...Yas, so we got a brand new channel. And umm...from which we can talk...get started about the story. It's Niki that had this idea first. N: oh, yeah. Y: So, why do you wanna do an English Channel, an English Podcast. N: Because I just want to express myself.Y: in English.N: Yep, in English. Y: Coz you are an English teacher. N: No, not because i am an English teacher, just because I am used to it. I am used to this language. Not because I teach it. Y: ummm, OK. So how about the situation now?N: What situation now?Y: Your English Podcast situation. N: emm. It is pretty healthy. The name of it is Niki的英文语音备忘录。Y: Yep, if someone's new here, welcome... you're more than welcome to subscribe both the channel, Boundless Talk and Niki的英文语音备忘录 in 小宇宙，only in 小宇宙。N: Yeah, currently, only in 小宇宙。And if you guys are just finding or seeking for my podcast, you guys can just click into my personal profile. And you can see that right now I have two affiliated podcasts. The other one is actually the English Podcast. And you guys can just follow me on the channel as well. Y: Yes. N: But for Boundless Talk, we are gonna continue the form of...Y: Long conversation.N: Probably long conversation, two people discussing and talking... and things like that. Y: Yes. So, till now, what do you...any differences between Boundless Talk and your English Channel. N: Um... I think that...Em, in my English...well, are we making, like an interview...Y: Yes. Let's do it, a brief interview. And Yvonne is interview(ing) Niki right now. N: So the difference is that I feel like, my own English podcast explores something deeper, like in my heart. It focuses on something in your own... like heart, in your internal world. I suppose to exploring the outside world. But I felt like Boundless Talk is more like maybe discussing some of the phenomenon that is going on in the society. Or you know, just...Y: Exchange ideas, somtimes. N: Exchange ideas, or just have some fun together. And...Y: Had some fun? I think Boundless Talk is all about deep, serious consideration about the public topic, OMG, so am I wrong?N: OMG, you can just check out your own podcast list, like all the list. I think a lot of things, we are just...we...discussing nothing. And we were just having fun. We actually don't pay so much attention on these social... Y: No, I didn't. I paid a lot of attention...N: But we didn't discuss quite a lot in Boundless Talk. Y: Social, public, public questions. N: We didn't discuss quite a lot in Boundless Talk. I mean, just now, you said Boundless Talk should be about those, like more serious social issues on the broad perspective. Y: Maybe not exactly the social issues. But I take it very serious. And I really talk what I wanna...what I was thinking about the question or issue, or my deeply feel about something. N: Okay.Y: I take it serious. I don't think it's "having fun". Of course, I had fun from doing that things. But meanwhile, I go through my ideas through our communication. N: Okay, it's the difference. I mean, my podcast is exploring like something happening inside of my heart, and just my heart. And sometimes, I would like to share some of my ideas to the listeners. And if you find that kind of...like...may be practical in your own life too, you can just directly take it away. And I'm gonna be very delighted about it. But in contrast, Boundless Talk is, you know something about our discussion on some certain issues. I feel like, yeah, that is the difference. Y: Yes, yes...and... Okay, I think that's done. That's what I wanna...This is just a brief introduction about the new channel. And introduce Niki's own podcast. And again, to the new guys, new friends, you are more than welcome to subscribe both the channel. And if you're only interested in the English speaking, you can go straight to Niki's podcast. N: Okay. Y: Okay. That's all for today. N&Y : So bye, this is the BT English.

由于情人节的关系，我们想要聊一聊浪漫这个主题。但我们并没有只是想去聊男女之爱这样形式的浪漫，而是想让大家可以一定程度上去更认真地感受生活当中很多体验，和经历。这样你也会感到更快乐，更幸福。在节目当中，我们首先回顾了一些让我们感觉到浪漫的事情，接下来总结了一下这些浪漫大概都是属于哪些类别。也希望在听节目的你，可以换一种视角来看待日常得不能更日常的日常，然后感受到浪漫和喜悦。—————————————————————————————————————————希望听友们昨天（情人节）快乐，今天（元宵节）快乐，天天快乐～

Eileen Gu. If you are on social media these days, you couldn't feel strange with this name. People love her and simply couldn't stop talking about her, about how beautiful, confident, eloquent, sharp she is. But now, let's take a moment to put our admiration aside just a little bit, and instead think about what we can learn from her and be cool, too!

疯玩了好几天的主播们，终于想起自己还有节目要更。那就先抓住春节的小尾巴，给听友们拜个晚年！由于疫情的关系，秉持着「尽量不给国家和政府添麻烦」的态度，主播们采取了「就地过年」的庆祝方式。这期从今年的除夕之夜聊起（尤其还是Niki第一次春节没有和父母在一起）讲了三十儿晚上的体验：好吃的年夜饭（当下回味起来都会流口水），以及非常有年味儿的活动。然后展开聊到「春节」在主播们记忆当中的画面，以及这些年来的改变和不变。改变的有很多：随着年纪的增加，小时候期待的一些东西不再会引起我们的兴趣；对于「阖家团圆」（或者「相聚」）的期待却是随时间在累积。不变的是「春节」在我们传统节日当中的重要的地位和意义。各位听友今年的春节都有什么好玩的、有趣的事情呢？欢迎给我们留言评论～

这期是瞎扯向，又有点回忆向，有点总结向。主题是“女生都能在哪些地方花些莫名其妙的冤枉钱”。梳理了一下感觉还好，无非就是here and there 充了个不怎么用的卡，年轻时候因为某些好奇或者某些热爱进行了一些并不精打细算的消费。就还好吧。跟任何其他事情一样，消费不过也是一个镜子，回顾看看可以让我们再多了解自己一些些。希望大家都能搞清楚自己和钱的关系，自己和消费的关系，通往更幸福，更自由的人生啦！你花过什么“冤枉钱”吗？留言告诉我们吧！

这个话题在第一次被我们讨论的时候，产生了sharp contrast。在讨论中，产生矛盾观点的双方——Niki和我们的朋友（AKA肾上腺）——通过拉扯和解释，终于找到了观点不一致的根本原因：对「什么是有益的？」这个问题所采取的立场的不一致。Niki的观点在于：提升个人幸福感是「有益的」，经济发展到一定阶段，就不再能提升幸福感了（因此经济发展不是完全「有益的」）。肾上腺的观点在于（其实他自己也没有完全说清楚，我解读一下吧）：站在整个人类发展的角度上，发展经济或将是比（过度的）保护环境更「有益的」。我对这个话题很感兴趣，虽然知道在这期播客里，我们无法面面俱到的把所有的因素都纳入考量从而得出一个怎样的结论（于是话题就被narrow down to “塑料的使用”）；但是讨论本身就能帮我梳理一些自己模糊的思路。虽然想让这期节目冲突性强一些，但从节目效果来看：只要双方前提一致，信息拉平，并且愿意沟通，我和Niki很难有南辕北辙的观点。就好像，同一个苹果，Yvonne觉得好吃，Niki觉得不好吃。看起来我们俩观点不一致，但事实是：苹果有点酸，Yvonne喜欢酸一点的，而Niki不喜欢酸的而已。苹果还是一个苹果，我们也都同意它是酸的。“好吃”或“不好吃”，仅是根据不同的个人喜好得出的主观感受而已。如果说从这期节目当中，我得到了些什么启示，那么就是：结论只是处理事实、进行思考的最后一步。结论的不同不代表思路的不一致，很有可能只是在最后的主观选择上出现了差异而已。那么，听友们，关于经济发展和环境保护，你有什么想说的吗？留言给我们哟～

爱情神话。在我心中一部独特且让人难忘的小片子。在一众大型叙事故事片，引发思考科幻片，讽刺现实喜剧片中，它并非最吸睛，但却是看了之后会回味悠长的部电影，像是饮一杯山泉水冲泡的铁观音，淡淡甘甜。它慢慢展开了一些失意人的生活—不是失败，是失意。就是那种，剧中人若是向别人讲述内心深处苦闷，会被说矫情，被说凡尔赛，这样类别的失意。从所谓“条件”看，确实他们没什么好抱怨的。一眼看过去的房产，姣好的面容，体面的工作，阔绰的资助者，扎扎实实被剧中人拥有着。然而离最想要的生活总是差一点点的人生，人前光鲜老公却不知所踪的人生，难道并不值得一些实实在在的失意。当然，对电影的喜好其实微妙地反应出你自己的内心。可能潜意识中，我也隐隐失意着，也还没能释怀吧。

那天收到新东方的一个二维码推送，让大家在50个新年flags里面选出9个来立一立，然后生成一张可爱的海报mark一下这一年你plan to have的roadmap. 想到各大app生成的对你所使用app的年终总结，突然觉得提前立flag的行为有点像提前预知了你年终总结的样貌，which can be interesting if you think about it. 那就来立立flag吧，it doesn't hurt anyway. 于是我们就go through了一下所提供的flag的选项，感受了一下哪些目标对我们来说是“日常”，哪些是“challenging goals”,哪些是“这都什么鬼，为什么会需要这样的flag�”还蛮有意思的，In a way helps you better make sure where you are now at life. 总之，任何形式的跟自己对话都是好的，不管你有没有flag.Cheers.Yvonne推荐的几本书：积极心理学——《真实的幸福》，《认识自己，接纳自己》作者：马丁·塞利格曼心理学入门——《蛤蟆先生去看心理医生》（电子书）作者：罗伯特·戴博德正念饮食——《学会吃饭》（电子书）作者：珍·克里斯特勒&艾丽莎·鲍曼；《好好吃饭》（电子书）作者：布莱恩·万辛克社会学类——《经济学讲义》作者：薛兆丰；《Peaks》（中文《刻意练习》）作者：Anders Ericsson & Robert Pool还有一本，我个人非常喜欢的，疗愈性特别强的小画书《想念你的陌生人》作者：索菲·布莱科尔/尹珊珊 沈奇岚 译

最近的大瓜出来之后，全网炸，街头巷尾大众都在讨论这件事。给自己当时的反应一些距离，思考思考其中有多少是冷静的分析，有多少是情绪的发泄，可能也能帮助我们更好地了解一下自己。节目中我们对两方微博开战的时间线和主要内容进行了梳理，也从道德和法律的角度给出了我们自己粗浅的看法。人都是很不完美的，完美偶像和霸气大女主的想象，其实也就是想想就得了。这波大瓜对于作为普通人的我们有什么启发吗？或许就是进一步强化这样一个意识：高质量的婚姻真的非常，非常不容易。双方要可以合作，还要有爱；即便后期爱被慢慢磨平，也要讲好武德为对方留足体面，为自己留下独立和强大。几乎每条都在对所谓的人性发出呐喊和挑战。但是人生在世啊，不是这个战场就是那个战场。如果一定要为什么而战，我永远选择为美而战，为爱而战。另，本期我们选了这位艺人两首好听的歌曲做垫乐，也是在传递一个想法：艺术成就和道德水平是两回事。依然还是感谢他曾经给过我们动人的音乐。

从小到大，经历过好多好多次旅行每次旅行都会通过一些媒介在记忆当中留下痕迹比如美食，比如美景，又比如美人在这次对话期间，我也发现了我和Niki在旅行过程当中的不同追寻：对于Niki而言，她很在乎旅途当中一些唤起她少女时期记忆的景象，比如潮湿的空气，葱郁的森林于我而言，我更在乎在旅途中寻求和我平时生活环境不同的场景。Niki说，在旅途当中，她可以理所当然的不用“入乡随俗”。因为很清楚的知道，自己只是这里的一个过客，在旅行地无论发生过什么，随着旅人的离开，痕迹都会慢慢被抹去。这让她在旅行地拥有了很多的自由，扔掉了很多的包袱。这可能也是很多人会在旅行当中产生一些意外、美好经历的原因吧。因为不再执拗于做平日的自己，反而给旅程增加了很多的惊喜。你呢？有没有哪些旅行让你记忆深刻呢？

现在就问自己，你理想的生活是什么样的？怎样才能让自己感到是快乐的？或许会有很多不假思索的答案，诸如“如果我年薪XX我就很快乐啊”“如果我交往男神我就很快乐啊”。这些答案本身当然是不错的，让人担心的是我们的那些不假思索。开篇的两个问题，这两个几乎应该是我们人生中最最重要的问题，被我们思考得不够多，被我们感受得不够多。我们根据“社会标准答案”一股脑往前冲，最终却血肉模糊撞上这样一堵墙：人生就是欲望不满足就痛苦，欲望满足就无聊。对自己的人生负责绝不是说说而已，好好花一些时间，回忆你过去一周，一个月，半年，一年，感到最最最快乐的时刻，然后努力在这些地方压上珍贵的时间，让它们给你编织出一幅独属于你的人间快乐地图吧。

有很多媒介可以承载记忆，文字是其中重要的一种。小的时候被老师父母要求写「日记」「周记」，虽然都是些流水账，但还是留下了一些记录生活的痕迹。在一个本子的夹层翻到了这封写于2011年凌晨的信。说是信，但从纸质上看，应该就是随手扯了一张草纸在床上歪歪扭扭的写下的，怕是过不了多久就要烂掉了；从内容上看，用现在的流行话说，应该是当晚emo了，情感积满胸膛无法释放，只能诉诸纸上。翻看下来，一边被当时的自己笑到——故作深沉的幼稚；一边也会感慨于“秉性难移”——人会一直处在变化当中，但是有些特性可能还是会贯穿一生的吧。第一次在播客里把自己曾经的情绪问题暴露出来。每讲出一次，我都能感觉到身体轻松了一些。当我决定把这期播客放出来的时候，感觉到前所未有的如释重负。对于播客的期待，一直以来都是「陪伴」，如果节目能够带给大家陪伴感，就是幸福；如果偶尔你能找到共鸣，那就是莫大的幸福了。注：对于本期内容中的「抑郁症状」的表述，仅代表个人的经历和经验。如果听友们有任何的疑问或者需要帮助，请一定咨询相关人士（如果你愿意的话）。

Leo，我GRE班级的学生，也是我们播客目前为止，邀请到的年纪最小的嘉宾。明年才21岁的他，在美国的年头接近自己目前人生的1/2。课下的他，是一个能够随意在幽默风趣和成熟得体之间来回切换的C位男孩。在新东方出国留学部门工作了近十年，我的学生年纪越来越小，却有着越来越多的留学经历。这些从小就被送出国的小朋友们，都各自经历了哪些事情塑造了他们对世界的认知？当然，Leo只是一个例子，他的故事也不代表所有出国留学的00后。但听他平静的说起在美国的点滴，那些听起来孤独的，有趣的，风流的，浪漫的故事，一点一点的刻画出一个即将能够在美国合法饮酒的成年男孩的形象。这次，不输出观点，一起听故事吧。

Leo，我GRE班级的学生，也是我们播客目前为止，邀请到的年纪最小的嘉宾。明年才21岁的他，在美国的年头接近自己目前人生的1/2。课下的他，是一个能够随意在幽默风趣和成熟得体之间来回切换的C位男孩。在新东方出国留学部门工作了近十年，我的学生年纪越来越小，却有着越来越多的留学经历。这些从小就被送出国的小朋友们，都各自经历了哪些事情塑造了他们对世界的认知？当然，Leo只是一个例子，他的故事也不代表所有出国留学的00后。但听他平静的说起在美国的点滴，那些听起来孤独的，有趣的，风流的，浪漫的故事，一点一点的刻画出一个即将能够在美国合法饮酒的成年男孩的形象。这次，不输出观点，一起听故事吧。

Leo，我GRE班级的学生，也是我们播客目前为止，邀请到的年纪最小的嘉宾。明年才21岁的他，在美国的年头接近自己目前人生的1/2。课下的他，是一个能够随意在幽默风趣和成熟得体之间来回切换的C位男孩。在新东方出国留学部门工作了近十年，我的学生年纪越来越小，却有着越来越多的留学经历。这些从小就被送出国的小朋友们，都各自经历了哪些事情塑造了他们对世界的认知？当然，Leo只是一个例子，他的故事也不代表所有出国留学的00后。但听他平静的说起在美国的点滴，那些听起来孤独的，有趣的，风流的，浪漫的故事，一点一点的刻画出一个即将能够在美国合法饮酒的成年男孩的形象。这次，不输出观点，一起听故事吧。

关了节目才想到，怎么没有提到早早就穿起了秋裤这件事儿？！怕与不怕，「变老」就在那，不远不近“你怕老吗？”某天，这个问题突然出现在脑海中。如何定义「老」？是时间流逝，还是阅历的增加，还是体力的衰退。以及多大的年岁才算是「老」？在我看来，当我对这个世界不再好奇，或者我的体力无法支持我继续对这个世界好奇，那就是我老的那一天。所以，我不怕年岁增长，而是怕体能无法支撑我的四处乱晃，智识无法继续增长，对于新鲜信息的的获取速度变缓，在脑海中建立新语系的能力变弱。我一直认为，生命不止有长度，还有厚度。不同的人，在同个时间刻度上，其生命的厚度是不一样的；而同一个个体在不同的时间节点，生命厚度也不相同。既然时间留不住，我一定会老去，就希望在每一个时刻，能够打开感官，感受丰富的情感，积累多样的信息，增加生命的厚度吧。节目最后还是跑题聊了一下，两位正在“变老”的主播对于「美」的理解。大家是怎么理解「变老」这个事儿呢？

关了节目才想到，怎么没有提到早早就穿起了秋裤这件事儿？！怕与不怕，「变老」就在那，不远不近“你怕老吗？”某天，这个问题突然出现在脑海中。如何定义「老」？是时间流逝，还是阅历的增加，还是体力的衰退。以及多大的年岁才算是「老」？在我看来，当我对这个世界不再好奇，或者我的体力无法支持我继续对这个世界好奇，那就是我老的那一天。所以，我不怕年岁增长，而是怕体能无法支撑我的四处乱晃，智识无法继续增长，对于新鲜信息的的获取速度变缓，在脑海中建立新语系的能力变弱。我一直认为，生命不止有长度，还有厚度。不同的人，在同个时间刻度上，其生命的厚度是不一样的；而同一个个体在不同的时间节点，生命厚度也不相同。既然时间留不住，我一定会老去，就希望在每一个时刻，能够打开感官，感受丰富的情感，积累多样的信息，增加生命的厚度吧。节目最后还是跑题聊了一下，两位正在“变老”的主播对于「美」的理解。大家是怎么理解「变老」这个事儿呢？

#写在最前面：Episode 31由于音乐版权的问题暂时无法上架，不是主播拖更哈～————————————正文的分界线————————————————————如果说有什么东西是亘古不变的，我想应该是星空，大海，和爱吧在人类用文字和语言构建的这个世界中，规则，信仰，法律都在变但是对于感情的需求，确实从古至今，是每个人都在追求和期待的也许正是那些语言无法描述的感觉，才是所谓的「爱」这一期，我和Niki通过「Modern Love」这个美剧（本期节目主要谈论了其中的三集。分别是第一集的doorman的爱，第六集对于父爱的渴求，和第七集对于领养孩子的爱）一边讲解剧情，一边分析我们两个在故事当中感受的不同场景下的「爱」随着自己年纪的变大，生活阅历的累积，我个人也在对「爱」有着越来越多的理解从狭义的男女之爱，慢慢扩大到与父母的爱，以及朋友之间的爱「Modern Love」又给我展现了一个更广义的「爱」的定义：它不需要血缘关系，不需要被法律保护或限制；它是一种人与人之间不需要言明，只是心领神会的一种默契现阶段的我，对于爱的理解是：它抽象，无形，在不同的环境下有不同的表现形式；它可以大到是一种“牺牲精神”，也可以小到父母嘴里的“我都是为你好”，当然也可以具体到恋人口中的海誓山盟。它可以是强求的，也可以是无私的，它无处不在，充斥在世界的各个地方，可以给你强大的精神支持，也可能成为你甜蜜的负担。那么，你是怎么理解爱的呢？

#写在最前面：Episode 31由于音乐版权的问题暂时无法上架，不是主播拖更哈～————————————正文的分界线————————————————————如果说有什么东西是亘古不变的，我想应该是星空，大海，和爱吧在人类用文字和语言构建的这个世界中，规则，信仰，法律都在变但是对于感情的需求，确实从古至今，是每个人都在追求和期待的也许正是那些语言无法描述的感觉，才是所谓的「爱」这一期，我和Niki通过「Modern Love」这个美剧（本期节目主要谈论了其中的三集。分别是第一集的doorman的爱，第六集对于父爱的渴求，和第七集对于领养孩子的爱）一边讲解剧情，一边分析我们两个在故事当中感受的不同场景下的「爱」随着自己年纪的变大，生活阅历的累积，我个人也在对「爱」有着越来越多的理解从狭义的男女之爱，慢慢扩大到与父母的爱，以及朋友之间的爱「Modern Love」又给我展现了一个更广义的「爱」的定义：它不需要血缘关系，不需要被法律保护或限制；它是一种人与人之间不需要言明，只是心领神会的一种默契现阶段的我，对于爱的理解是：它抽象，无形，在不同的环境下有不同的表现形式；它可以大到是一种“牺牲精神”，也可以小到父母嘴里的“我都是为你好”，当然也可以具体到恋人口中的海誓山盟。它可以是强求的，也可以是无私的，它无处不在，充斥在世界的各个地方，可以给你强大的精神支持，也可能成为你甜蜜的负担。那么，你是怎么理解爱的呢？

#写在最前面：Episode 31由于音乐版权的问题暂时无法上架，不是主播拖更哈～————————————正文的分界线————————————————————如果说有什么东西是亘古不变的，我想应该是星空，大海，和爱吧在人类用文字和语言构建的这个世界中，规则，信仰，法律都在变但是对于感情的需求，确实从古至今，是每个人都在追求和期待的也许正是那些语言无法描述的感觉，才是所谓的「爱」这一期，我和Niki通过「Modern Love」这个美剧（本期节目主要谈论了其中的三集。分别是第一集的doorman的爱，第六集对于父爱的渴求，和第七集对于领养孩子的爱）一边讲解剧情，一边分析我们两个在故事当中感受的不同场景下的「爱」随着自己年纪的变大，生活阅历的累积，我个人也在对「爱」有着越来越多的理解从狭义的男女之爱，慢慢扩大到与父母的爱，以及朋友之间的爱「Modern Love」又给我展现了一个更广义的「爱」的定义：它不需要血缘关系，不需要被法律保护或限制；它是一种人与人之间不需要言明，只是心领神会的一种默契现阶段的我，对于爱的理解是：它抽象，无形，在不同的环境下有不同的表现形式；它可以大到是一种“牺牲精神”，也可以小到父母嘴里的“我都是为你好”，当然也可以具体到恋人口中的海誓山盟。它可以是强求的，也可以是无私的，它无处不在，充斥在世界的各个地方，可以给你强大的精神支持，也可能成为你甜蜜的负担。那么，你是怎么理解爱的呢？

总有那么些时候不想思考，而是想感受——渐渐变凉的空气，温热慷慨的冬日暖阳，变黄掉落的银杏叶，垂挂夜空的明月和稀星。或者，感受音乐。感受清亮或是低沉的嗓音，感受强劲或是舒缓的节奏，感受那些流淌的故事。好了编不下去了，简而言之就是今天想录一期听歌的播客。Y和N各推荐了三首歌儿，我们都觉得挺好听的。有一些附着在这些歌曲上的经历和情感，也都在节目中慢慢聊到了，也挺好听的！大家找个舒服的姿势开始听歌吧！1. 她来听我的演唱会——张学友2. 凝望月亮——刘令飞3. Dear Friend——顺子4. New Boy——房东的猫&陈婧霏5. Love Song——方大同6. 心领神会——莫文蔚

总有那么些时候不想思考，而是想感受——渐渐变凉的空气，温热慷慨的冬日暖阳，变黄掉落的银杏叶，垂挂夜空的明月和稀星。或者，感受音乐。感受清亮或是低沉的嗓音，感受强劲或是舒缓的节奏，感受那些流淌的故事。好了编不下去了，简而言之就是今天想录一期听歌的播客。Y和N各推荐了三首歌儿，我们都觉得挺好听的。有一些附着在这些歌曲上的经历和情感，也都在节目中慢慢聊到了，也挺好听的！大家找个舒服的姿势开始听歌吧！1. 她来听我的演唱会——张学友2. 凝望月亮——刘令飞3. Dear Friend——顺子4. New Boy——房东的猫&陈婧霏5. Love Song——方大同6. 心领神会——莫文蔚

BIG NEWS：大家可以在苹果系统（iPhone，iPad，MacBook，iMac）自带的Podcasts（播客）——一个紫色的app，直接搜到Boundless Talk并订阅啦！—————————————————————————————————————————本期Boundless Talk又是从我的实际困惑出发——非人工服务带来的不便捷，低效率。但是聊着聊着，话题就跑偏了。。。（like always）节目里面提到的电影「Free Guy」不是第一个也不会是最后一个去讨论人工智能的电影。但是在这部电影里描述了一个有了自我意识的AI。当AI有了自我意识，且能像我们一样，更新迭代自己的思想的时候，ta们算是什么呢？节目里聊到的游戏是「Detroit：Become Human」（可以在B站搜到相关的游戏视频），更是把这个问题推向了一个哲学高度。这些Androids不仅进化出了自我意识，还要起义反抗人类的domination。这个时候，这些仿生人又是什么呢？我对于自然生命的敬畏被这些可能未来不久就会出现的AI给挑战了，到底如何定义“什么是人”。是生理层面上的生命，还是精神层面的意识？以及最后话题转变到了：如果你有决定别人以及自己生命的权利，what are you gonna do？聊完之后，我的困惑并没有减轻，也许时间会给我答案吧～