Couples Coaching with Natalie Clay

It's easy to get caught up in who's right and who's wrong when we encounter a different approach to problem solving. Today you'll learn an easier, more honest approach where you can both be right and still support each other.

Hello! It's been far too long! I'm excited to post the conversation I recently had with Jody Moore (Better Than Happy) on her podcast. We had a great talk about my new Marriage Prep course. Hope you tune in!

Today I'm excited to introduce you to Heidi Bollard and Natalie DuLaney of Butter Your Macros. I had the privilege of going on their podcast and I'm sharing it here with you today. These incredible women provide coaching for nutrition, weight loss and stress management. They are incredible at what they do and they are all around lovable women! If you're looking for help with your health, I can't recommend them enough! Head to www.butteryourmacros.com to learn more!

In my experience, most people truly desire happiness for their spouse and find that even more fulfilling than getting everything they want. So why do we feel such an intense need to have things our way? Bonnie and Clyde provide us with a key insight to help answer that question.

Shame and blame are inseperable. But understanding this—and doing the work to eliminate personal feelings of shame—can transform a marriage.

A shared religious faith often helps couples more closely align their values and goals. How does a couple navigate a marriage where one partner no longer believes?

It can feel intense to make important decisions that impact our marriage or family. Clarity comes when we remember to keep our personal values front and center.

What determines equal contribution in a marriage relationship? And what are the results of trying to sort this out—for the marriage and individually?

The way our parents raised us informs the way we raise our own children. Couples often have strong, and markedly different, opinions on how it should be done. Today, I coach Christine and John on this issue.

Want to love your spouse more unconditionally but not sure how to get there? The answer may surprise you.

We often cause ourselves unnecessary stress and pain trying to mold our marriage to fit unspoken standards of what constitutes a “good” marriage. What if we instead create a marriage that fits the uniqueness of the people in it?

In sometimes large, but often small and subtle ways, we set ourselves up to fail when we shame ourselves in an attempt to become who we think we should be.

“Love languages” is a term I frequently hear from my clients. Today I speak with Ann and Tommy as they learn how to navigate their differing styles and use this information to best love themselves and each other.

Am I frugal or a spender? What value do I place on each description? Each of us has deep-seated ideas on how money should be made, saved or spent. Today I talk with Meghan and Jake about their different values regarding money.

This week I sit down with Elle and Jared Rowley to talk about how they have used the principle of taking care of their own needs to thrive within the demands of a marriage, four children and a successful business. To connect with Elle and Jared, find them on Instagram: @ellerowley, @jaredrowley.

What story do you tell yourself about your marriage? Learn how to rework that story and watch your marriage improve!

Resisting emotion is the quickest way to go from feeling bad to worse. Today I discuss when to change your thoughts and when to allow yourself time to feel bad.

We think we know each other so well, but just as often judge wrongly as we do right. But right or wrong, what you believe about your spouse’s character or intentions is what you’ll find.

We’re great at identifying the simplest solution to disagreement. But when the solution involves molding our spouse’s viewpoint, our easy answer becomes nearly impossible.

When things are rocky in our relationships, we can decide that changing ourself to meet our spouse’s expectations will fix things. Does it?

Jobs and kids and the general stresses of life can sometimes make us feel that we are in a business partnership instead of a marriage. Today I coach Marie and Spencer.

For many of us, small day-to-day life challenges over time can bring more stress to our marriage than major events. Today I coach Belle and Paul—newlyweds who are facing the realities of joining their lives together—and offer them tools that can lessen the stresses of daily life.

I often get asked how to differentiate between unkind words and emotional abuse. In today's episode I discuss this with my Psychiatrist, Dr. Karl Martineau, to show how this topic is handled from the coaching and counseling perspectives.   Dr. Martineau runs an adult ADHD clinic with his wife and Life Coach, Kristen Martineau. To learn more about their incredible practice go to https://refocusadhdutah.com. Enjoy!

Whether dating or married, the loss of a relationship can be excruciating. Today I offer some ways to navigate the darkness of heartbreak.

Opposites do attract. But sometimes, after marriage, our differences can feel more challenging than entrancing. Today I coach Margaret and Robinson on how they can effectively navigate a key difference in their marriage.

The modern view of romance includes a whole lot of entitlement. Ridding ourselves of these expectations will help us develop true romance in our marriage. Let’s discuss.

I am so excited to welcome you to Season 2 of the podcast! In this episode I coach Christian and Janae on differences with spending habits, conflict resolution and parenting styles.

Why do we so often gravitate to the role of victim in our marriage? This week I’ll discuss why this role doesn’t serve anyone and what you can do to get out of it.

Are you in a relationship impacted by a diagnosed mental disorder (or undiagnosed but suspected)? This week I share experiences I’ve had coaching people in these kinds of relationships and what I’ve learned from them.

This week I offer three tips to help you confront the fears and stresses of this uncertain time.

What a week we’ve all had. I held a free open coaching session this week—a lot of it, unsurprisingly, was about Covid-19 challenges—and thought it could to helpful to post it here for those who weren’t able to attend. Much love to everyone in this difficult time!

I get hundreds of emails from people asking really interesting questions. It would be impossible to get back with individual answers—as I wish I could—but here’s the next best thing: a new podcast segment where I answer some of these questions using the tools I teach.

What if a successful marriage is the result of a carefully developed skill set? I think that’s exactly what it is.  

Having new beliefs about your marriage is more than simply thinking positive thoughts. Today I discuss how to develop the skill of believing new things—and feeling more love in the process!

Is it possible to improve your marriage if your spouse isn’t open to coaching or to change? Absolutely! The best way to create fast, lasting change in your marriage is to do so as an individual.

Being resigned feels better than being angry or resentful, but the damage can be just as great. Today I teach why we end up resigned and what to do about it.

Self-confidence is so essential to wellbeing in marriage and as an individual that I revisit the topic this week. I’m joined by a very special guest.

How you feel about yourself has a huge impact on your marriage. Let’s discuss.

This week I have a special guest. Jody Moore and I discuss what a boundary actually is and how to establish one from a place of love.

This week I discuss the process I share with couples who are grappling with the decision of whether or not to divorce.

Pornography is a frequent issue confronting couples that I coach and, statistically, couples across the general population. This week I speak with Zach and Darcy Spafford, who share valuable insights they gained when tackling this issue.

It’s a New Year—time to shed the plot lines of our marriage narratives that don’t serve us and replace them with exciting new ones!

Who’s right? Who’s wrong? This week I discuss truth in marriage.

Our desire for a sense of control in our lives can keep us from being authentic. This week I talk about how we can simply be ourselves—and the serenity that comes with it.

Who are you? We each take on an identity as an individual and as a couple. Is the identity you’ve taken on serving you?

Today I discuss why you might consider trashing the “selfish” label so you can take care of your own needs in marriage.

This week I talk about why many of us decide to marry someone quite different from ourselves and how we can learn to approach differences not with irritation, but appreciation.

Do you feel like you are always in trouble in your marriage relationship? Today I talk about how to get free of that oppressive feeling and replace it with love.

Many of us are on 24-hour alert trying to spot the judgement we’re certain others feel toward us. This week I discuss what steps will quiet our primitive brains and remove this unnecessary pain from our lives.

Do you ever have a week where every effort you make seems wasted? Where the simplest task feels like pushing a boulder uphill? Welcome to my week. Today I share a couple of ideas on how you can face a week like this.

This week I share three techniques that will increase the connection you feel with your spouse—even if your spouse doesn’t change a bit!