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This is Part 3 and the final installment of Becky and Kerry's response to a woman who separated from her husband whom she claims is abusive and addicted to pornography. They offer suggestions to consider, suggestions for abused women, their friends, and the churches of which they are a part.
Leaving a relationship with someone who has untreated borderline personality traits can feel less like a breakup and more like trying to escape a locked room while being told you're the one causing the fire.In this episode, I speak directly to the people who are rarely centered in these conversations: the partners who have been living inside someone else's emotional emergency. The ones who learned to scan tone, timing, silence, and mood shifts just to survive. The ones whose nervous systems became collateral damage.This is not an episode about diagnosing or vilifying people with BPD. It is about naming the relational impact of untreated emotional dysregulation, identity collapse, abandonment panic, and rage–care oscillation on the person who loves them.I talk about:Why leaving can feel impossible without intense guilt and fearHow reality erosion, false accusations, and emotional role reversal take holdThe cycle I see over and over again: rage → collapse → panic → pleading → accusationWhy reassurance makes things worse instead of betterHow partners slowly disappear while trying to keep someone else regulatedWhy intent does not cancel impact, even when suffering is realIf you've ever felt like you were the safest person in the world one moment and the villain the next—with no transition, no shared reality, and no way to win—this episode is for you.Support the show*Please Note: there is a long intro that explains my services. If you do not want to listen, just fast-forward 5 mins past. This intro will be changed in future recordings to be shorter. I am not paid to record this podcast and it is a free offering. Offering my work is the only way I can sustain the podcast* Join the Patreon: https://patreon.com/Youarenotcrazy *New Course*: Unhooked: Map the Cycle of Abuse in your Relationship Website: Emotional Abuse Coach and high-conflictdivorcecoaching.comInstagram: @emotionalabusecoachEmail: jessica@jessicaknightcoaching.com{Substack} Blog About Recovering from Abuse {E-Book} How to Break Up with a Narcissist{Course} Identify Signs of Abuse and Begin to Heal{Free Resource} Canned Responses for Engaging with an Abusive Partner
After emotional abuse, how do you trust yourself again… and how do you ever trust someone else without fear?In this deeply motivational and inspirational coaching episode, Reginald D addresses one of the most vulnerable listener questions yet: "How do I reclaim self-trust after emotional abuse — and how do I learn to trust again?"This is not surface-level advice. This is a powerful motivational speech on healing, self-improvement, faith and motivation, and rebuilding your internal foundation after trauma.If emotional abuse has made you question your intuition, silence your inner voice, or live in constant alertness — this episode will speak directly to your heart.Emotional abuse is one of the most confusing forms of trauma. It doesn't leave bruises — it leaves doubt.It causes you to:Second guess your intuitionReplay conversations in your headQuestion your realityFeel suspicious of peaceHesitate in safe roomsOverride your gut just to keep the peaceAnd in today's world — where conversations around mental health, trauma healing, and self-improvement are trending on Google and Apple Podcasts — more people are searching for real, motivational and inspirational guidance on how to rebuild trust after emotional damage.This episode delivers:A powerful motivational speech on reclaiming your inner voiceInspirational stories from Reginald D's own journey of overcoming internalized doubtPractical self-improvement tools to rebuild confidence step by stepFaith and motivation rooted in scripture (Proverbs 4:23, Psalm 147:3)Tactical strategies to trust wisely without hardening your heartIf you've been feeling on edge… bracing for disappointment… scanning for red flags… this motivational and inspirational episode will help you understand why — and how to heal.After listening to this powerful motivational and inspirational coaching episode, you will:Learn how to rebuild self-trust through small, daily acts that restore your internal credibility and confidenceUnderstand how to trust others again using boundaries, observation, and emotional intelligence instead of fear or avoidanceGain faith-based and practical self-improvement tools Send a textSupport the showFor daily motivation and inspiration, subscribe and follow Real Talk With Reginald D on social media:Instagram: realtalkwithreginaldd TikTok: @realtalkregd Youtube: @realtalkwithreginald Website: Real Talk With Reginald D https://www.realtalkwithreginaldd.com Real Talk With Reginald D - Merchandise Real Talk With Reginald D is a globally ranked inspirational and motivational podcast designed to motivate, empower, and transform lives through powerful motivational speech, authentic conversations, and real-life inspirational stories. Each episode delivers motivational and inspirational coaching focused on self-improvement, leadership, healing, resilience, and purpose. Rooted in faith and motivation, this Christian-based platform blends practical growth strategies with biblical wisdom, helping listeners strengthen their mindset, deepen their faith, and walk boldly in their calling.
Ask Rachel anythingWhen Brooklyn Beckham publicly announced he didn't want to reconcile with his parents he was joining a painful catalogue of family stories that have gone wrong. Estrangement is reportedly on the rise in Western societies but what's behind it? Dr Joshua Coleman spends his life working with estranged parents so he sees, first hand, the main factors that can lead to it. He highlights that while emotional abuse is often cited as a cause, it's often a matter of unmet expectations and generational differences. Some of the core drivers are divorce, children marrying someone who doesn't get on with your family, social media ideals, therapy culture and individualism. Given that estrangement can be emotionally devastating for parents, leading to feelings of isolation and loss, he advises parents to take their children's complaints seriously and to be open to therapy and family discussions. Dr Joshua Coleman:Family Troubles: https://joshuacolemanphd.substack.com/https://joshuacolemanphd.substack.com/p/how-to-not-become-estrangedhttps://www.drjoshuacoleman.com/Teenagers Untangled Community Substack:https://teenagersuntangled.substack.com/Support the showPlease hit the follow button if you like the podcast, and share it with anyone who might benefit. You can review us on Apple podcasts by going to the show page, scrolling down to the bottom where you can click on a star then you can leave your message. Please don't hesitate to seek the advice of a specialist if you're not coping. When you look after yourself your entire family benefits.My email is teenagersuntangled@gmail.com My website has a blog, searchable episodes, and ways to contact me:www.teenagersuntangled.com Find me on Substack https://Teenagersuntangled.substack.comInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/teenagersuntangled/Facebook: https://m.facebook.com/teenagersuntangled/You can reach Susie at www.amindful-life.co.uk
People in the Pacific are raising the alarm about elder abuse in the region. Worldwide one in six people over 60 have been abused, according to startling statistics from the World Health organisation. In Fiji last year, around 2000 cases of abuse were reported to the police, including physical, emotional and financial abuse. On Sistas Let's Talk Natasha Meten spoke to three women trying to combat the scourge of elder abuse in their community. Sashi Kirin, the Minister for Women, Children and Social Protection in Fiji; Jullian Lava, who leads the women's ministry at her local Seventh-day Adventist Church in Papua New Guinea; and Dr Juliet Boon from Auckland University of Technology, who conducted a study into elder about among New Zealand's Pacific diaspora. Listen to this episode on ABC Radio Australia.
In this episode, I talk about what happens after the fight, the discard, or the emotional explosion, and why the aftermath hits you so much harder than it seems to hit them.I break down a pattern I see constantly in emotionally abusive, high-conflict, and narcissistic dynamics: one person unloads their rage, shame, blame, or dysregulation, and then walks away feeling lighter—while the other person is left carrying it.I explain why this isn't about resolution, communication, or vulnerability. It's about emotional transfer. When someone cannot tolerate their own internal discomfort, they offload it onto you. You're left replaying the conversation, questioning yourself, feeling dysregulated, and trying to make sense of something that was never meant to be repaired.Support the show*Please Note: there is a long intro that explains my services. If you do not want to listen, just fast-forward 5 mins past. This intro will be changed in future recordings to be shorter. I am not paid to record this podcast and it is a free offering. Offering my work is the only way I can sustain the podcast* Join the Patreon: https://patreon.com/Youarenotcrazy *New Course*: Unhooked: Map the Cycle of Abuse in your Relationship Website: Emotional Abuse Coach and high-conflictdivorcecoaching.comInstagram: @emotionalabusecoachEmail: jessica@jessicaknightcoaching.com{Substack} Blog About Recovering from Abuse {E-Book} How to Break Up with a Narcissist{Course} Identify Signs of Abuse and Begin to Heal{Free Resource} Canned Responses for Engaging with an Abusive Partner
Leave a message & include your contact or I won't know it's you.After emotional abuse, it's common to either distrust everyone or to rely too heavily on words, promises, and explanations. In this episode, we talk about how to rebuild discernment by learning how to read people accurately—through patterns of behavior rather than intention or language.We explore why accepting what someone says over what they consistently do often leads to confusion and self-doubt, and how emotional abuse conditions people to override their instincts in favor of hope, reassurance, or potential. You'll learn how to recognize integrity as a pattern, not a personality trait, and why behavior over time is the clearest indicator of safety in any relationship.This episode also gently turns the lens inward. We talk about how your own patterns—follow-through, boundaries, repair, and self-honoring—become a mirror that helps you read others more clearly. Not from shame or self-criticism, but from alignment and awareness. Because when your relationship with yourself is grounded in integrity, clarity with others comes more naturally.Support the showTo learn more about my Programs visit the websitewww.radiatenrise.com Email: Allison@radiatenrise.comFree 30 Min Root Cause Call Join Radiate and Rise Together - Survivor Healing Community for Women GET YOUR FREE AUDIOTo send a DM, visit Allison's profiles on Instagram and Facebookhttps://www.instagram.com/allisonkdagney/https://www.facebook.com/allisonkdagney/*Formerly (The Emotional Abuse Recovery Podcast)
Gugs Mhlungu speaks with Andy Cohen, Psychotherapist and psychoanalyst, editor of “Parenting Psychoanalyzed: Letters to a Parent”, about how to help children navigate intense emotions, decode love and other overwhelming feelings, and provide guidance that supports emotional understanding while preventing inadvertent emotional harm. Weekend Breakfast with Gugs Mhlungu is broadcast on 702, a Johannesburg based talk radio station, on Saturdays and Sundays Gugs Mhlungu gets you ready for the weekend each Saturday and Sunday morning on 702. She is your weekend wake-up companion, with all you need to know for your weekend. The topics Gugs covers range from lifestyle, family, health, and fitness to books, motoring, cooking, culture, and what is happening on the weekend in 702land. Thank you for listening to a podcast from 702 Weekend Breakfast with Gugs Mhlungu. Listen live on Primedia+ on Saturdays and Sundays from 06:00 and 10:00 (SA Time) to Weekend Breakfast with Gugs Mhlungu broadcast on 702 https://buff.ly/gk3y0Kj For more from the show go to https://buff.ly/u3Sf7Zy or find all the catch-up podcasts here https://buff.ly/BIXS7AL Subscribe to the 702 daily and weekly newsletters https://buff.ly/v5mfetc Follow us on social media: 702 on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TalkRadio702 702 on TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@talkradio702 702 on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/talkradio702/ 702 on X: https://x.com/Radio702 702 on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@radio702 See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
This week on Dr. Judy WTF, we explore one of the most covert — and heartbreaking — forms of psychological harm: narcissistic abuse by proxy. Abuse doesn't always end with separation. It often continues through friends, family, institutions — and even children — who may be unconsciously recruited to carry out the narcissist's agenda of control and devaluation. Using the Be The Cause Nine-Panel Mind Map, we break down how trauma bonding, financial manipulation, and survival-based attachment can position children against a targeted parent — not out of malice, but out of fear and security needs. We also discuss the invisible grief of betrayal, and why true healing comes not from forcing others to “see the truth,” but from dignified disconnection, boundaries, and reclaiming your own narrative. You don't heal by being chosen again.You heal by choosing yourself. #NarcissisticAbuse #AbuseByProxy #TraumaBond #FamilyDynamics #EmotionalAbuse #HealingJourney #MentalHealthAwareness #Boundaries #SelfWorth #TruthBeTold
Anne Catona Lynn survived a traumatic car accident at age 4, multiple sexual assaults in her 20s, and decades of unprocessed PTSD—until she discovered EMDR therapy and began her healing journey. Now a trauma-informed consultant and author, Anne shares her transformative story and the specific techniques that helped her reclaim her life. Discover how childhood trauma affects physical health, why self-medication fails, and the surprising connection between adverse childhood experiences and autoimmune diseases. Learn practical, actionable strategies you can implement today to regulate your nervous system and begin healing. Anne also discusses her groundbreaking work building trauma-sensitive, resilient schools and communities—and how the same principles that heal individuals can heal entire organizations. Topics covered: EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization & Reprocessing) therapy breakthrough Childhood trauma and PTSD recovery Sexual assault healing and shame Mind-body connection: trauma and autoimmune disease Practical grounding exercises for nervous system regulation Reframing trauma narratives from shame to strength Building trauma-informed schools and communities Holistic healing: nutrition, movement, mindfulness When to seek professional help and therapy Resources mentioned: "Shedding Lies: Living Beyond Childhood Trauma" (available on Amazon, Kindle on sale for 99¢) "Depression Lied to Me" (anthology featuring Anne's story) Upcoming book: "Grief, Grace, and Gravity" (with her husband) Website: KatonLynnConsulting.com Keywords: trauma recovery, EMDR therapy, childhood PTSD, sexual assault healing, nervous system regulation, autoimmune disease, trauma-informed schools, healing strategies, adverse childhood experiences, mental health Transcript:
How do you survive—and eventually recognize—the BPD cycle of abuse, especially when you are already exhausted, confused, and questioning yourself.In this episode, I break down the cycle as it actually unfolds in real life: The intense honeymoon phase, the sudden emotional whiplash, the accusations and character attacks, the breakups and reconciliations, and the long stretch of chaos that keeps you hooked through intermittent relief.I talk about why this dynamic is so hard to recognize while you're inside it, why your nervous system becomes hypervigilant, why you can't sleep, why you're constantly scanning for tone, mood shifts, and explosions, and why none of this means you're weak, codependent, or “too sensitive.”If you've ever felt like your body knew something was wrong long before your mind could accept it—this episode is for you.Support the show*Please Note: there is a long intro that explains my services. If you do not want to listen, just fast-forward 5 mins past. This intro will be changed in future recordings to be shorter. I am not paid to record this podcast and it is a free offering. Offering my work is the only way I can sustain the podcast* Join the Patreon: https://patreon.com/Youarenotcrazy *New Course*: Unhooked: Map the Cycle of Abuse in your Relationship Website: Emotional Abuse Coach and high-conflictdivorcecoaching.comInstagram: @emotionalabusecoachEmail: jessica@jessicaknightcoaching.com{Substack} Blog About Recovering from Abuse {E-Book} How to Break Up with a Narcissist{Course} Identify Signs of Abuse and Begin to Heal{Free Resource} Canned Responses for Engaging with an Abusive Partner
In this episode, Emotional Abuse vs. Physical Abuse, we take a clear, compassionate look at emotional abuse and why its impact can be just as devastating as physical abuse—even without visible scars. Through a therapist's lens, we explore how emotional abuse shows up in everyday relationships, why it's so often minimized or dismissed, and how it quietly erodes identity, self-trust, and emotional safety over time. We unpack the psychological and neurological toll, the confusing mix of harm and kindness that keeps people off balance, and the powerful role of fear, hope, and survival in why people stay. Most importantly, we speak directly to listeners with practical questions to help identify emotional abuse, challenge self-blame, and begin the healing process of rebuilding trust in yourself, setting boundaries, and restoring your sense of worth. Tune in to see Emotional Abuse vs Physical Abuse Through a Therapist's Eyes.
In this thought-provoking episode of the Secret Life Podcast, host Brianne Davis-Gantt introduces the intriguing concept of "flying monkeys" in the context of narcissistic relationships. Drawing inspiration from the iconic film "The Wizard of Oz," Brianne explains how these individuals—often friends, family members, or colleagues—act on behalf of narcissists to inflict emotional distress on their victims. She candidly discusses her own experiences and insights into the dynamics of manipulation, control, and the insidious nature of these flying monkeys.Throughout the episode, Brianne breaks down the characteristics of flying monkeys, their motivations, and the tactics they employ to uphold the narcissist's agenda. Listeners will gain a deeper understanding of how these enablers contribute to the cycle of abuse and the psychological impact on the targeted individual. With a blend of empathy and expertise, Brianne encourages those affected to recognize these behaviors and take steps to protect themselves.This episode serves as a crucial reminder of the importance of setting boundaries and finding supportive allies while navigating the complexities of relationships with narcissists and their flying monkeys. Join Brianne as she empowers you to reclaim your narrative and avoid becoming a pawn in someone else's game.
Send us a textIn this powerful episode of the Concrete Genius Podcast, Sauce Mackenzie breaks down culture, credit, and respect—and why Black Americans must stop outsourcing their identity, voice, and leadership.From celebrity politics and cultural imitation to hip-hop, reparations, immigration, and the protection of Black women and children, this conversation challenges emotional thinking and calls for strategic unity. Sauce speaks honestly about lived Black American experience, why not all struggles are interchangeable, and why respect for our history, contributions, and trauma matters.The episode also dives into:• Who benefits from Black culture—and who gets erased• Why entertainers protect their interests, not the community• The loss of militancy in hip-hop and political voice• Reparations, voting power, and economic unity• Domestic violence, emotional manipulation, and protecting our youth• Masculinity, boundaries, and accountability in public spacesThis is not anti-immigrant. This is pro-Black American, pro-self-respect, and pro-future.
Laura Richards spent 33 years married to a narcissist before realizing she was being emotionally abused. Now nine months post-divorce and thriving, Laura shares the painful truth about what emotional abuse looks like from the inside—and why it took so long to recognize. Discover the subtle manipulation tactics that kept her trapped: constant devaluation, gaslighting, lack of empathy during family deaths, and the shocking discovery that her husband was likely grooming her best friend (who he's now engaged to). But more importantly, learn the exact strategies Laura used to heal: journaling, therapy, vulnerability, and finding a tribe of friends who truly support you. This episode breaks down the difference between high confidence and narcissism, explains why narcissists are often "people-pleasers," and offers hope to anyone still trapped in an emotionally abusive relationship. Topics covered: Red flags you might miss in a narcissistic relationship Gaslighting, devaluation, and emotional manipulation tactics Why narcissists lack empathy (especially during grief) The people-pleaser narcissist vs. overt narcissism How to identify healthy vs. unhealthy friendships Journaling as a healing tool Therapy and professional help Using humor to cope and survive Breaking the silence: why community matters Moving forward with hope after divorce High confidence vs. narcissism: understanding the difference Resources mentioned: Laura's Podcast: "That's Where I'm At Podcast" Website: ThatIsWhereImAt.com Amazon Journals: Divorce journals, gratitude journals, and more Available on all podcast platforms and social media Keywords: narcissistic marriage, emotional abuse, gaslighting, narcissist red flags, divorce recovery, narcissistic personality disorder, covert narcissist, emotional manipulation, healing from abuse, toxic relationships, narcissist awareness Transcript:
If you've ever been told you “can't communicate” — especially by someone who constantly twists your words or refuses to take accountability — this episode will help you see what's really happening. I break breaks down how abusers weaponize communication to destabilize you, create confusion, and control the narrative. You'll learn why phrases like “you're too blunt” or “you don't make sense” are often not about clarity at all — they're about power. You can view my courses here: https://jessicaknight.thinkific.com/collectionsSupport the show*Please Note: there is a long intro that explains my services. If you do not want to listen, just fast-forward 5 mins past. This intro will be changed in future recordings to be shorter. I am not paid to record this podcast and it is a free offering. Offering my work is the only way I can sustain the podcast* Join the Patreon: https://patreon.com/Youarenotcrazy *New Course*: Unhooked: Map the Cycle of Abuse in your Relationship Website: Emotional Abuse Coach and high-conflictdivorcecoaching.comInstagram: @emotionalabusecoachEmail: jessica@jessicaknightcoaching.com{Substack} Blog About Recovering from Abuse {E-Book} How to Break Up with a Narcissist{Course} Identify Signs of Abuse and Begin to Heal{Free Resource} Canned Responses for Engaging with an Abusive Partner
As originally told on Discovery ID's show, Toxic, Kelly believed she had learned to trust her instincts. A licensed therapist and homeowner who had already survived profound loss, she thought she had finally found the perfect partner when she met Chris—charming, attentive, and deeply loving, with no obvious red flags.⚠️ Content Advisory: This episode discusses emotional manipulation, coercive control, and relationship abuse. Listener discretion is advised.But after they married, everything changed. Kelly became mysteriously ill, doctors had no answers, and her husband began pushing her boundaries in ways that left her confused and isolated. As her health declined, Kelly followed a gut instinct that led her to a discovery she couldn't ignore—one that would set off a chain of events escalating into terrifying violence in Part 2.Resources & Links:
CHECK OUT SUSIE'S WEBSITE!!Go to Susie's website by clicking HERE!Contact Susie by clicking HERE!WHO THIS EPISODE HELPS People navigating childhood trauma, domestic violence, complex grief, and long-term emotional healing after abuse and loss. WHAT LISTENERS WILL GET A deeply honest conversation about grief, trauma, resilience, and how healing begins when someone finally feels that they matter. DESCRIPTION: This episode of Grief Is Not A Dirty Word features trauma-informed peer coach and You Matter founder Susie Delo, who shares her powerful story of surviving childhood abuse, domestic violence, and profound grief. In conversation with host Nick Gaylord, Susie explores how unresolved childhood trauma and silenced grief shaped her relationships, identity, and sense of self-worth. She reflects on losing her brother as a child, growing up in poverty and addiction, and enduring emotional and physical abuse that followed her into adulthood. Susie also opens up about the death of her abusive husband and the complicated grief that followed, including blame, shame, and isolation. Through therapy, faith, and advocacy, she transformed trauma into purpose by creating You Matter to help others heal. This episode centers resilience, post-traumatic growth, and the life-changing impact of finally being seen and believed. This episode answers: How does childhood trauma affect grief and adult relationships?What happens when grief is silenced or ignored for decades?How do survivors heal after domestic violence and emotional abuse?What is complicated grief after losing an abusive partner?How can trauma be transformed into healing and purpose?Key Takeaways: Unresolved childhood trauma deeply shapes grief responses later in lifeSilence around grief can create lifelong emotional damageSurvivors of domestic violence often carry shame that isn't theirsHealing begins when people feel believed, supported, and valuedPurpose and advocacy can grow from even the most painful experiences GIVE THE SHOW A 5-STAR RATING ON APPLE PODCASTS! FOLLOW US ON APPLE OR YOUR FAVORITE PODCAST PLATFORM! BOOKMARK OUR WEBSITE: www.ourdeaddads.com FOLLOW OUR DEAD DADS ON SOCIAL MEDIA: Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ourdeaddadspod/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ourdeaddadspod TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@ourdeaddadspod Twitter / X: https://x.com/ourdeaddadspod YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCmmv6sdmMIys3GDBjiui3kw LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/ourdeaddadspod/
#205 - Some stories don't just move you—they recalibrate your sense of what's possible. Adriene Caldwell grew up in the crosshairs of untreated schizophrenia, constant relocation, and a home life that spun from denial to violence. After losing the grandmother who shielded her, she entered a foster system that should have offered stability and instead delivered degradation: separate dishes, floor seating, and rules designed to remind her she didn't belong. The stats she shares are brutal—one in five inmates are former foster youth, seven in ten foster girls have a child by 21, and fewer than three percent use free college benefits—but the real shock is how incentives often reward keeping kids “high need” rather than helping them heal.What changed her trajectory was a lifeline she claimed for herself: a coveted congressional exchange to Germany. There, a host family modeled warmth, boundaries, and trust. Adriene learned German the hard way—by speaking it every day—aced tough classes at a college-track school, and felt the shift that happens when someone insists you sit in the front seat for the view. Returning stateside just shy of 18, she found no plan waiting and wrote letters up the chain until one emerged. Along the way, a third-grade math teacher delivered hotel toiletries to a housing project, and a fierce English teacher stocked her classroom with computers and left one to Adriene before she died. Those acts—practical, personal, and precisely timed—became stepping stones to scholarships and a future she couldn't yet picture.We also explore why Adriene wrote Unbroken, Life Outside the Lines, and how revisiting old case files forced a reckoning with both the parts of survival that became manipulation and the parts that deserve pride. Her message to teens at the edge is simple and urgent: your life won't always look like this, and soon your choices will shape what comes next—numbing or healing, hiding or asking, repeating or rebuilding.If this conversation resonates, share it with someone who needs proof that change is possible. Subscribe for more human-centered stories, rate the show to help new listeners find us, and tell us: what moment shifted your path?To learn more about Adriene and her book check out www.unbronkencaldwell.com and check her out on Instagram @unbrokencaldwell.You can also find more information about the show at www.thehumanadventure.net and check out my Instagram @humanadventurepod.
Michael Kent, traveling comedian and magician, joins Marissa to share hard-won lessons from 20 years of marriage while spending up to 250 days per year on the road. Discover why performer relationships fail, the "dopamine trap" of audience affirmation, and the one ritual that saved his marriage. Learn the three pillars of healthy relationships (communication, respect, trust), how to communicate vulnerably without blame, and why human connection matters more than ever in our isolated world. Michael reveals advice from Ralphie May that transformed his marriage and shares practical strategies for maintaining intimacy across distance. Topics covered: Why entertainment industry marriages fail (and why his didn't) How to distinguish between audience affirmation and real love The power of saying "What can I do to help?" Reframing relationship conflicts Breaking the content vs. happiness debate Connection as the antidote to addiction and loneliness Keywords: healthy relationships, marriage advice, communication skills, long-distance relationships, relationship tips, emotional intimacy, relationship goals Full Transcript: Marissa F. Cohen (Marissa F. Cohen) Welcome, Michael. I'm so excited to have you on the podcast today. Thank you so much for joining us. Michael Kent Absolutely. It's so good to be here. I was happy to have you on my podcast recently, and I've never been on a podcast like yours, so I'm kind of excited and nervous. Oh, don't be nervous. Marissa F. Cohen (Marissa F. Cohen) It's easy, breezy conversation. We're just chit-chatting. But tell everyone about your podcast, because I thought it was so much fun to be a guest on yours. Thank you. Sure. Michael Kent Well, my podcast, it's funny because it has nothing to do with what I do for a living. So I make my living as a comedian and magician. During the pandemic, me and so many other people decided we were going to podcast. So I decided that mine was going to be about history, but not like the boring history. I am fascinated by the fact that I'm in my 40s and I'm still learning things. Every day, like there's new things to learn. And some of them are important. Some of them are just interesting. They're not important. And so what I decided to do was find a different story from history every week. And it has to sound like it's something that I just made up. And initially, the podcast was called Tell Me What to Google, because tell me what to Google, because there were people giving me these ideas like, hey, you should Google this. Because after the first season, I realized that it's really hard to be found on Google when you have Google in the name of your show. So my buddy Jonathan Burns came up with the title, The Internet Says It's True. And that's what it's been called for 267 episodes. Every week is a news story that sounds like it's absolutely made up. And they're all 100% verifiably true. I go through painstaking efforts to like go back and find the original newspaper articles and everything. But I present them in a way that's really fun and lighthearted. And then we do a quiz at the end. So yeah, it's been a fun project. It's really fun for me to work on something that is not me. It's not about my show and me. Marissa F. Cohen (Marissa F. Cohen) And it sounds really fun. History is so interesting, and there's so much fun stuff out there. I love being on your podcast. For the last couple episodes, we were talking about food, which anyone who knows me knows that food is a passion of mine. Not cooking it, just eating it. But yeah, so check out The Internet Says It's True. It streams everywhere. You can listen to the episodes I'm on. But let's jump into the Healing for Emotional Abuse podcast. Michael, so you mentioned that you are a traveling comedian and magician. Will you tell us a little bit more about what you do? Michael Kent Yeah. Basically, my job for the last 22 years has been to give people an hour of their life where they don't have to think about what's going on outside. They don't have to think about the... about the... They Thank You know, the stress and the tests and the exams, or if it's a workplace, you know, the deadlines and the news and politics. I'm just giving them an escape, which is what magic is. Magic is an amazing ability for us to be able to suspend our disbelief as if we're watching a wrestling match. And it's really easy, it turns out, for people to believe that something's happening that's impossible, because we all want to believe that that's true. Even the most skeptical people react to magic in a way that is almost childlike. Magic has a different reaction from everyone. Everyone has a different way of reacting to it. And I really love that, but I don't love the tension that magic brings. So I do a comedy show. I do a comedy magic show that sort of acknowledges the strange elephant in the room, and that is, I'm a man in my 40s pretending to be a wizard. This crazy career has taken me quite literally all over the world to 49 states. I still need to go to Wyoming. I haven't performed there yet. But 49 states, 19 countries, I believe, and cruise ships and military bases. And gosh, I performed on board an aircraft carrier last year while they were active in the sea. It's been an amazing career for the last couple decades. I'm focusing my efforts now more toward corporate groups and providing corporate groups with sort of an engagement tool and being that engagement facilitator for them to improve their events. So that's sort of the focus of my career currently. But for the last 20 years, I've been one of the top comedian magicians on the college market. So that's how I know you. Marissa F. Cohen (Marissa F. Cohen) That's true. That's awesome. So you have... You've in one relationship for basically like the extent of all of your career. So 22 years on the road, and you and your wife, first, can you tell us how you met? Michael Kent Yeah, it's not like one of those, you know, Hallmark stories. But my wife and I went to college together, had the same major and several of the same classes and never met. Marissa F. Cohen (Marissa F. Cohen) We figured that out after the fact. Michael Kent So we met through the girl that I grew up next door to when I was a little kid. So from the time I was born until I was eight years old, I lived next door to this person who I won't name because I don't know if I have their permission to talk about them publicly. So I grew up next to her, and she's like a sister to me. And we reconnected after college, like right after college, for the end of college, and we're hanging out. And Allison, my wife, was always around in the friend group. And I started sort of jokingly referring to her as my girlfriend because I had a crush on her. And finally, I asked her out, and we went on what I thought was like an amazing date. It was an amazing date. And then, let's see what happened next. We went off and dated other people. It didn't last. And then we reconnected like four or five months later, and that was the end of that. And we're coming up on our 20th wedding anniversary in August. Marissa F. Cohen (Marissa F. Cohen) Wow. Yeah. Michael Kent And like any marriage, know, it's had ups and downs and good times and bad times. And much of the good times and bad times have come from dealing with exactly what you're talking about, the idea that I do spend. At one point, I spent 250 days a year on the road doing shows. And that's really tough on any relationship, married or not, however long, you know, it's... It's just a difficult thing to learn how to deal with. When we met and started, you know, getting serious about dating, I was wanting to be a magician. I was wanting to do this, but I wasn't very successful yet. So she was sort of my sugar mama for the first few years because she had a job and I didn't. And so, you know, it took a while for my career to take off. And then it's been obviously a very, like, fulfilling and lucrative career since. And so, yeah, that's sort of where we are. And she and I are one of those sort of opposites attract couples, you know, like she is a bit more conservative and pragmatic. And I'm sort of a dreamy artist who, you know, head in the clouds type. But we have sort of become more similar as we've gotten older. think that probably just happens with married couples. After a long time, our tastes have become more similar. Marissa F. Cohen (Marissa F. Cohen) That's awesome. So 20 years married, more than 22 years together. In our industry, like the college market, the traveling to entertain market, I don't know the statistic. I can look it up. But I think most marriages end with one partner that travels a lot and the other that doesn't. And thinking to the conferences that we go to or the colleagues that we have, most of them have been divorced. I can really only think of four people who have been consistently married to the same person. So keeping the communication, the love, the marriage alive is very challenging. So what do you and Allison do or like what have you learned over the years that has helped you guys navigate this, you know, kind Michael Kent Yeah, first of all, she is a saint to be able to deal with this, right? Like when you think about someone being gone that much, and that's just the half of it. The being gone part is only half of the equation. We'll talk about the other half in a minute, but I was in Chicago Midway Airport headed to, where was I going? St. Louis. And I was headed to a conference, and the comedian Ralphie May, who has since passed, I recognized him just being a fan of comedy, and we struck up a conversation, and we sat next to each other on the flight, and we talked the whole way to St. Louis, and somehow we got talking about relationships. And at that point, Ralphie was married. He ended up getting divorced later, but he gave me the best relationship advice ever, and it sort of, I think, saved my marriage. And Basically, what he said was, the reason that show business relationships fail is because entertainers, night after night, get this amazing feeling from complete strangers. This affirmation that everyone would love. You'd be crazy not to love it. You have complete strangers. You know, it's like if your husband tells you, you look great today. It means something. It's important. But if a stranger at the gas station says, look great today, why does that? It means a little bit more because they don't have an incentive or motive, you know, like they don't have to tell you that. And that's kind of the feeling that entertainers get on stage is like, oh, my God, these complete strangers adore me. And then that night after night after night. And then you go home to your significant other. And they're like, where have you been? Your dirty laundry is on the floor. You didn't do the chore you said you were going to do. And you start comparing them to the people in the audience. And that's. It's so unfair because the people in the audience only know you for one hour at the most, and it's your best hour. It's the hour that you've been rehearsing. It'd be bad. It'd be weird if they didn't love you for that hour. You know what I mean? Whereas now you're comparing them to someone who knows all of you and all the warts and all of the, you know, the, the history and the, the arguments and your tendencies. And, and it's just not a fair comparison. You're comparing apples to oranges in that instance, and it's not And so I spent so much time like thinking about that and examining that and how, which one's wrong, which one's right? You know? And I think the answer is like, neither one's wrong. Neither one's right. But what I realized is that audience while I, God, I love them. I appreciate them so much that they come to my shows and that they laugh with me. They're not my friends in most Most instances. And so when the show is over, that relationship is over. Now, that's not to say, like, I don't want to, you know, put out content for them to consume and interact with people and enjoy their acquaintanceship. But those aren't family. They're not friends. And so that's the that is the struggle that most entertainers run into is that they see that feeling that they get from a complete stranger when they're on stage or when they're, you know, someone who's reacting to their art and they say, oh, this person sees me. This person really likes me because they see me and through my art and all this. But that's not a real healthy. That's not a relationship. That's just a one sided thing. And and so it took a really long time to realize that. And so what I did, I put in almost immediately after talking to Ralphie, a know, A new tradition slash ritual. When I finish a job, a gig, when I finish a show, after I load out, I have a schedule that I do normally. And this is just what I do. I get to, when the show's over and I've done a meet and greet or merch or whatever it might be afterward, when I start loading out and tearing down my show, I text my wife. I let her know I'm loading out. And both of us know that that means that I'm going to be sitting in my car in about 45 minutes to an hour. And when I get in my car, I don't put in the directions to the hotel. I don't put in directions to the airport. I just sit and I call her and we talk. And we don't talk about my show or my travels. We talk about her day. And we talk about the dogs and what's going on back home. And what it is, is a snapback to what is real. It's a snapback to what is good and what is real. And it's a buffer between this world that can make anyone feel like a king to a world that is more mutual, where this is like, this is reality. This is two-way now. It's not just a one-way thing. That call has met the world to me, and I think to Allison, too, because she doesn't want to hear about magic. Allison hates magic. Marissa F. Cohen (Marissa F. Cohen) I tried to show her magic on our first date, and she goes, know what you're doing, and it's not going to work on me. Michael Kent And she wasn't talking about the trick wasn't going to work. You know what I mean? I had just spent all those years in college using magic to impress strangers, and now all of a sudden I have to use my personality. I was like, I like this girl. So when we talk after the show, it's, you know, it's about her and her horses and the dogs and what's going on back home, you know, and it's, while that's nice for her, it's also nice for me because then... Let's see. I don't do what I used to do, which is before that, I would be like, how can I make this feeling of this audience continue? And I would start looking and saying, okay, who added me on Instagram? Who liked my show? Who commented on that photo? You know, and being like, you know, you just want that feeling to continue. It's why a lot of artists, musicians, comedians turn to substance abuse, because they're trying to continue the feeling that they get when they're on stage. It's an indescribable feeling, and I'm sure you get it when you speak as well. You know, it's indescribable how it feels to be affirmed by complete strangers in a room where there are hundreds of them looking at you. So it's a really difficult thing to compete with, but that's a much bigger aspect of the problem than is the just being gone. Because I could do, it doesn't matter if you're gone, if you're gone. All the time anyway, mentally or emotionally, you know, like that's the important thing is, are you emotionally there? And it's taken me a long time to do this. And you're talking, you're talking to someone who has spent years in therapy dealing with this. think therapy has been just as important as that discussion with, with, with Ralphie May on an airplane, you know. Marissa F. Cohen (Marissa F. Cohen) That's so interesting. I, first of all, that's really cool that you got to, you got to sit next to Ralphie May, but also like that, that advice and like that thought process makes a lot of sense. And I never really thought about it that way, where that like euphoric feeling of being loved and adored, right? Right. And then you turn to your family or your partner where, you know, they don't, you know, they know the full you versus other people who only know, like you said, the one dimension of you, you know, it's, and I wonder just in like the full world, not just our world, but how. that translates to them, right? Sure. Michael Kent Well, it does, because like people that are in the workplace have their work life and their home life. And it's completely different. The people that the way that they interact with people at work is completely different than the way that they interact with their family. And. It's I know that this is a problem for a lot of people, because when you get to that place where you're pulling into the driveway or you're pulling into your garage or whatever to go home, there's a really harsh shift that has to happen between how you deal with work and how you deal with home. And it is it is incredible. It's the same with sports teams as well. When you're on a sports team, your relationship with that sports team or military unit is a bond that you might feel like you never can compete with, with your with your personal relationship. And you have you have to realize and look at it that. It's apples and oranges. It is not the same type of thing. And it's okay for both of those things to coexist. They are not competing with one another. Marissa F. Cohen (Marissa F. Cohen) Yeah. And I think it translates a lot to why people cheat, right? Because if you, like even just looking at work wives and work husbands, right? You have somebody that you have developed a relationship with in your place of work and you're like, oh, this is my work husband or this is my work wife or my work whatever, you know? And then that person only knows the little bit of you that you show at work versus at home where, you know, you leave your dirty socks everywhere and, you know, or, or you're acting at your very comfortable personality, right? And then the other people, when you get upset with your partner and you talk to your work friends about it, right? Or like your work, whatever work wife about it. They're like, oh, I would never do that. I don't understand. I would never yell at you for something so minuscule. So that becomes very, um, attractive, right? Like, oh, this, Person, they would never treat me. But if they knew you the way that your home partner does, right, your real partner, they would absolutely not be okay with that, right? Or they would also have, there would be tiffs, right? And so I just think that that's so fascinating. That's such an interesting perspective. Michael Kent Well, was a perspective that was sort of forced on me that I'm glad that I came to because, you know, when you are in a relationship that you value, that you really want to, if you realize in that moment the value of it, you'll do anything you can to keep it. And in my case, what I realized was that the problem was me, right? The problem was that, and it wasn't just me being gone a lot. Obviously, that's tough. But the problem was that, like, I needed to look at things realistically. And, you know, it's kind of like... When you look at an artist's painting that they've put up in a gallery, like if they put it up in a gallery, they know it's good. But what you're not seeing is all their early works that they're not proud of, that they're not showing off. And your relationship with your significant other probably knows and has seen those early works. And so to stick with the metaphor, the gallery goer might be like, this is the best artist in the world. They can never do anything wrong. You know what I mean? And that's that audience member. That's that person who's only seeing you for or knowing you for an hour. Or the people who only know that you're really good at work and you're a good problem solver. Oh, that person must be like that at home. And, you know, and you fantasize and you create this thing that's not there. And reality is often much more boring. And reality is the... Marissa F. Cohen (Marissa F. Cohen) The reality is in between the highs and lows. Michael Kent That's where most of our life happens, is in the waiting for the next exciting thing to happen. And so you have to kind of get, like, very comfortable with the fact that things aren't always exciting and full of affirmation and butterflies and puppy dogs. Sometimes the greatness of life is those days where you're like, you want to go out to dinner, but we're just so exhausted. So we're going to just make ramen and sit on the couch and watch TV. And that's going to have to be fine. And that's like even the most successful, exciting movie stars do that. You know what I mean? Like they have, it might not be ramen. might still be, you know, their executive chef cooks them something, but everyone has in between times where you might be in between projects or you might be in between this. And that's what, like, to me, that's kind of the beauty of relationships. It's like, this is someone who you have deemed to be comfortable with you when things aren't exciting, when things are good, and when things are really difficult and hard and you're at each other's throats and fighting, like, someone that you can get through that with. So, yeah. I'm talking, like, I feel like I'm really self-conscious right now talking about this because I know how I have struggled as a husband, and, like, I know how I've had my, like, shortcomings in the past, and I'm talking as if I'm some expert on relationships. It's taken a lot of work for me to get here, and in 10 years from now, I probably will look back at this and be like, I was, I didn't know what I was talking about because I will have learned more. You know, that's the hope anyway, right? Marissa F. Cohen (Marissa F. Cohen) That's the whole point of life and relationships, right? Like, we are always growing. We're always learning, right? On your podcast, the premise of it was, I can't believe I'm in my 40s and I'm still learning every day. I have always been like an avid lifelong learner, right? I still – I'm in my mid-30s. I still want to go back for more degrees. I still want to do more learning. And my mother-in-law is always making fun of me because I told her at Christmas I want to go to law school. And she's like, why? Why do you want to go to law school? You don't want to be a lawyer. And I'm like, yeah, but I want to understand. And I want to be able to help. And like if you're not learning, you're dying, right? And so, you know, I can look back on things I wrote. My first book, know, Breaking Through the Silence, I wrote it in 2017. And when I put it out, I was like, oh, this is incredible. Like I did so much work. I did all of this. And look where I got, right? And now I read it and I'm like, oh, my God, this is so embarrassing, right? Because we are always growing. We're always learning. So where you are – about when I make a promo video for my show. Michael Kent By the time I'm editing it, I'm embarrassed by it. Marissa F. Cohen (Marissa F. Cohen) That's how quickly I'm always changing stuff, you know? Yeah, but that's, I mean, we're always growing, and right now, especially in the world with technology and all that we have, we're absorbing so much stimuli and so much information every minute of every day to a point where our brains have shifted so much, and we're kind of getting off topic, but I'm happy about it because I like to talk about this. Yeah, two quick things. Michael Kent Something that I realized that I have realized about relationships is another thing that makes them fail, in my opinion, is that people expect it to always feel the way it did in the beginning. I mean, this isn't a surprise to anyone. Everyone knows that this is a problem, right? You might feel that way with someone at work or someone that, you know, like comes through your life, incidentally, and you'll be like, oh, this is the way I felt with my significant other in the beginning. And what you fail to realize is that relationships always... Are changing and you're never going to have, I mean, I can't say never because I don't, you know, obviously there, I'm sure there are exceptions to this, but it's rare to be able to have the same relationship with your significant other that you had when you met and my wife and I have had different iterations of our life together, right? Like there have been different, it's almost like a different thing that you find that you love about that person and you both grow and you're not the same people you were back then. It would be silly if you were acting the same way you were when you were, you know, I met Ali when I was like 22 or something, right? So there's a, my favorite book is called Zen Mind, Beginner's Mind by Shunryu Suzuki. It's just a book about Zen and the main premise of it is in the beginner's mind, there are many options. In the expert's mind, there are few and many possibilities, I think is what he says. And that is to realize that you don't know. Everything is the ability to learn and to change and to grow. Whereas if you say, well, I got married, I aced it, done, I succeeded, I'm at the plateau, now everything's always going to be like this, and everything's always going to be great, and I don't have to try anymore. That's death, right? That's death. As you described, when you stop learning, you're dying. So anyway, those are the two quick things I wanted to bring up. Marissa F. Cohen (Marissa F. Cohen) And I appreciate that. So Larry and I had a conversation, my husband, it was more of like a debate actually a few months ago where do you strive to be content all the time or do you strive to be happy all the time? Like what's the right, what's the right way to look at life, right? Because if we are striving to be happy, and I was on team, I want to be happy. Thank you. All the time, right? I want to always be feeling like I'm accomplishing. I always want to be feeling like I'm doing something and growing. And he was like, no, because if that's the case, then you're basically chasing a moving goalpost, right? If you always strive to be happy, then you are never happy where you are. And I thought that was so fascinating. So like striving to be content versus striving to be happy. It sounds like from what you said, you strive to be content, right? You know that things are changing and growing and you adjust and adapt and you grow together or you grow apart, right? But you guys work to grow together. So what's your take on that? Michael Kent Well, you're right. mean, I think of those two options, I would say like striving to be content, but I'm not even sure I'm, I like the phrasing of like content because content, it can bring about feelings of like, I'm content, so I'm not going to strive for happiness or for joy, I guess is what I would replace happiness with is. So Or pleasure. Joy and pleasure are fleeting, whereas contentment is not. Contentment is what I would describe as the middle path or the middle road. If you can't tell, I'm really into Buddhism, and that's kind of where a lot of my philosophy comes from, is that it's going back to what I said earlier about how most of life are those in-between times. And those in-between times, contentment is a great way to describe those. You're fine. There's nothing wrong. You're lacking pleasure in that moment, maybe. But you're also lacking profound sadness or fear. You know what I mean? There's just times when you just are. And if you aren't happy, and I mean happy in a very large, vague sense here, if you can't survive, and if you're suffering in the times when... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... There's nothing to be particularly pleasurable or to be joyful about or whatever. That's most of your life. Most of our life are those in-between times. And so if you were on a desert island, a deserted island somewhere, and you didn't have anything, how would you be happy? What would you do to not suffer? And the answer is, you have to just be able to live with yourself. You have to be able to understand that we are beings. The only thing we have to do is breathe. And that's it. We have to eat and breathe and just be. Everything else is icing on the cake. So, but the reason I kind of have issue with the word content is because I think, at least in modern use, it sort of can mean settling or not striving. And I'm always... This is a struggle for me. Sometimes it's really difficult for me to just sit. And it sounds like you're the same way. You've written 40 books. Sometimes it's difficult to just be still. I always have to have that project to worry about. And thanks to my therapist, I know that that's a nervous system response. That's a nervous system response medicating me to try to run away from being here right now. And so it's okay once you have that in mind to do what you want. But realizing it is the hard part. Realizing it is the part where you have to be like, okay, my nervous system is telling me that I'm only doing this and I'm only stressing about this because I need something for it to stress about. We'll be right back. be right And so now that I know that, I can work on it, but not freak out if I don't do it, or not freak out if, you know, about having this thing. So, and allowing yourself to be kind to yourself and take breaks and do whatever else. Marissa F. Cohen (Marissa F. Cohen) I think what you said about, you know, content being kind of sitting still, that's kind of exactly how I felt and feel. I just didn't know how to verbalize it. So thank you, because you just kind of gave me the more of an understanding of what I meant. Yeah, stillness is the middle way. Michael Kent Like, it's the middle path. It's not the big hill you're trying to climb or the valley that you're falling into. It's just being. Yeah. Marissa F. Cohen (Marissa F. Cohen) And I love that. So I loved what you said about, like, if you were on a deserted island, what would you do to not suffer, right? Because you're not going to be happy sitting there on a deserted island every minute of every day. Like, you just can't. How does that translate? Out of relationships, right? So if you're not happy with yourself, you know, the theory is, and I 100% agree with it, but like, if you're not happy with yourself, you're not going to be happy with someone else because you're looking for what you're missing in someone else to come from someone else. So like, how does that, in your opinion, like, how does that translate? Michael Kent Communication. I think you and your partner need to be able to tell each other how you're feeling. So I mean, it starts with you knowing how you're feeling, right? A lot of people just don't realize how they're feeling. But like, or a lot, you know, you might be feeling anxiety, but not know what the anxiety is about. And that's a perfectly acceptable thing to say to a partner, is that saying, I'm just on edge, and I don't know why. That's such a great thing to say. Because if you are short with your partner, and you didn't mean to be short with a partner, which is what most arguments start from, I think is like, you know, Someone's already have something going on by themselves, right? There's something in their life that they're stressed about, and they just accidentally put that on the other person in the act of normal conversation or whatever. If you start that by saying, by realizing, I'm really anxious today, or I'm really, I feel like I'm really on edge today. Just saying that can maybe stop that next interaction from blowing up into an argument or a fight. And because there's a little bit more communication and understanding of where the other person is coming from. And, you know, my wife and I both suffer from general anxiety at different times. And we both know that sometimes there's not a thing that triggers it. It's just there. And so we know that the answer isn't, why are you anxious? What's making you anxious? How can we make that go away? You know, sometimes the answer, a better answer is, what can I do to help? Which is... That's phrase that both of us use quite often with each other. And sometimes that question is enough to help. Because usually there's not a thing, you know, because our brains are weird and we don't understand them. And sometimes you just have anxiety about stuff. So what can I do to help is like one of the most loving things you can say to a partner. One of the most caring, one of the most efficient ways to show care is by saying, I'm here. That's all you're saying. You're not trying to solve problems. That's a big pet peeve of mine. That'll, that'll, if I tell someone my problem and I don't want them to solve it and they start trying to solve it, that is so frustrating. Not just relationship wise, but just in general, you know, family members, anything like that. Like sometimes I just want a . Just let me complain. And getting that complaint out is, is the purpose, right? So, you know, what can I do to help is like commit that to That statement, because there have been so many times my wife has said that to me, and it's all I needed to hear. Because what she's saying is, I'm here, I hear you, and I care. And that little bit of affirmation is enough to be like, oh, it's going to be fine. She's here to help me with whatever this is. Marissa F. Cohen (Marissa F. Cohen) So that's such a good point. And I teach that to a lot of people, especially college students, right? And you're not solving anyone's issue. Just ask what you can do. Be empathetic. I'm here with you, right? We're going to do this together. What do you need right now? You know, so I love that that's how you two communicate with each other and show support. We also both have anxiety and we both have bad days. I'll wake up sometimes and just be like, nope, this is one of those days I'm not getting out of bed. No bones day. Michael Kent Yeah, yeah. Marissa F. Cohen (Marissa F. Cohen) I'm going to melt into my couch and eat as much popcorn as my body can handle. Michael Kent And that's my day, you know? Marissa F. Cohen (Marissa F. Cohen) But I love that. So what piece of advice would you give to... listeners, to our listeners, about having healthy relationships and maintaining a healthy relationship. Michael Kent You have to be brutally honest with yourself about what it is that you're feeling and be able to be vulnerable enough to share that with this other person. That's the thing. Because I think most fights from unspoken things, most fights stem from unspoken things. And humans are just notoriously bad at working our brains. Sometimes we just don't know why we're thinking the way we're thinking. But if you can acknowledge it, it all of a sudden doesn't seem that bad. There's an analogy that I like to use. It's like most suffering in our lives is, it seems a lot larger than it actually is. Whether it's like physical pain, you know, our nerve endings send these signals to our brain that say, like, there's danger, something's wrong, you should know about this. lives. All And that's the siren, not the thing causing it. That's the that's the response. So the analogy I like to use is like on your car, you have like a headlight. And if you've ever seen what a headlight is, it's a tiny little light the size of a pinky. It's a tiny little thing that plugs in. And that creates hundreds of feet of of brightness in front of you because of the reflector. Most of the suffering that we experience in our lives, we perceive from the receptor, not realizing that the thing that's causing the pain is the pinky is the little tiny little the tiny little element that's inside that thing. And so if you can find a way during painful moments, whether it be emotional pain or physical pain, to focus on the pain and what's causing it, it can actually alleviate some of the pain. It can alleviate some of the suffering because you're able to look at what attachment it might be that that brought you to that point. Or what it is. And it takes a lot of work to be brutally honest with yourself to know how you're feeling in order to communicate it. And you have to have a partner who is on that journey with you and receptive to hearing about that. Which is tough because a lot of people, when they hear someone's problems, they want to do what we were just talking about. They want to try to solve them. They feel like that's their job. And sometimes, you know, you just need to . That's sometimes all you need. I had a long conversation about that. Marissa F. Cohen (Marissa F. Cohen) My mom is a problem solver. And so I'd call her and just really want to vent. And she would try and solve the problem. And I'd be like, no, mom, I just want to talk. Right? So we've developed a system where if I call her to, you know, for anything, she'll stop before she says anything and say, is this for comfort or for advice? Like, do you want me to just sit and listen? Or do you actually want me to advise and you want my opinion? And then I get to choose. That's a huge win. Michael Kent mean, what an evolved thing to be able to say, like. And that's because that's like, what she's asking you is, would you like me to turn my maternal instinct that's inside of my body and I can't get rid of off for a moment? And it's probably hard, really hard for her to do that. Because that's just a, I think that's just a parent thing. Parents hear your problems and it's been their job, you know, for the first 18 years of their life, it was their job to absolutely solve those problems for you. No questions asked. And so it's hard. It's got to be, I'm not a parent, so I don't know, but it's got to be hard to turn that off and be like, okay, I'll just listen. Yeah. Marissa F. Cohen (Marissa F. Cohen) I mean, I can't, I had to remind her many a time, but we finally got to a point where I feel comfortable and safe talking to her. Whereas in the past I would call her for something and she would advise, advise, advise. And I'd be like, I don't want your advice. And it would, it actually caused a lot of rifts in our relationship. So it was, it took work, but, but we're in a good spot where like, she's very respectful of, of what I need, whether I want to just vent or, or get advice. So that could be really good way. Michael Kent If you're listening, Marissa's mother, good job. Good work. Marissa F. Cohen (Marissa F. Cohen) Thanks, Amy. You call your mom by your first name? Michael Kent No. Marissa F. Cohen (Marissa F. Cohen) Oh, okay. That was just for the show. Okay. Thanks, Amy. Michael Kent I can say it. You can say it. Marissa F. Cohen (Marissa F. Cohen) So thank you for that advice. That was really helpful. I think even to kind of, it was, it is. And to kind of spin off that, not just to tell, you know, yes, tell like, I'm feeling anxious today. And being honest about it. So instead of saying something like, you know, you're always at work and we never talk, right? It's, I feel lonely, right? So like, I feel like I'm not a priority to you, right? Personalizing it. So you're not talking about this symptom. You're talking about the cause, right? I feel lonely. It feels like you're prioritizing work or it feels like you're prioritizing your friends or it feels like you're whatever over me, right? So it's addressing the things that you're feeling, but also making it honest. Michael Kent And you also have to learn sometimes to sort of reframe that, that statement. So like, you know, if my wife says to me, you're always gone. My tendency is to hear that as what do you want me to do? Not work, not have money. You like, you know, like you're, my tendency is to hear it as a complaint. But I can reframe it to mean she's complaining because she wants me to be around more because she likes Like, you know what I mean? Like that's, you can reframe these types of things and think like, what is, what is this person really saying to me? And, you know, and that's the common thing that people say in relationships when there's some sort of issue is like, what's wrong? And the other person will say, I'm just tired. It's just the easiest thing to say. And it's usually a cop out. I mean, you could legitimately be tired, but usually there's something else going on. Even if you don't know what it is, or, you know, it might be depression, it might be anxiety, but usually it's not just that you're tired, but it could be. I mean, it could be, I do not have the ability to have an in-depth conversation right now because I'm emotionally exhausted or I'm physically exhausted or whatever it might be, and then sometimes you just have some space, but that goes back to communication, right? Like, that's a huge part of a relationship. Yeah. Marissa F. Cohen (Marissa F. Cohen) It's my three pillars, right? My triangle of healthy relationships, communication, respect, and trust, right? If you don't have all three of those things, you don't have a healthy relationship. If you can't communicate and resolve issues, right? If you can't trust each other to be honest and vulnerable, and then you don't feel like you're being respected or like your needs are being met by your partner, like the boundaries or what you say, you know, are not being respected, then you don't have a healthy relationship. And even missing one of those three, just the communication piece alone is so important. You know, it was trust, communication. Michael Kent What was the third pillar? Marissa F. Cohen (Marissa F. Cohen) Respect. Respect. Okay. Yep, yep. If you don't have one of the three, right, you don't have a healthy relationship because trust is built on respecting communication. Michael Kent Yeah, they all are interrelated, right? Yeah. Marissa F. Cohen (Marissa F. Cohen) And so it's important that you have, you know, that strong communication because no one wants to wake up every day and resent your partner because of an issue that happened 10 years ago. And I use Friends, the show Friends is a great reference for that because if you look at Ross and Rachel, right, they had one fight one time in like season two and they never talked about it. Like they talked about it, but it was always very nitpicky and jabby and aggressive. Michael Kent Yeah. And so then by season 10, like there's still, I think it was 10, right? Marissa F. Cohen (Marissa F. Cohen) There's still, were they on a break? Were they not on a break? I don't know. Cause they never had a 15 minute sit down, honest discussion about it. And so they are such an unhealthy relationship. But everyone's like, I want the Ross and Rachel kind of love. Michael Kent And I'm like, no, you don't. No one would have watched if it was a healthy relationship. That's where most of the conflict and the storylines came from. Marissa F. Cohen (Marissa F. Cohen) In any show, right? The only show I can currently think of where the two protagonists have a very healthy relationship is Nobody Wants This. Have you seen that? No. Oh, it's so good. It's Adam Brody and Kristen Bell. But the toxic relationships. weird? I think I have two friends that are in that show. Oh. Michael Kent And I've never watched it. Marissa F. Cohen (Marissa F. Cohen) I do have two friends that are in that show. Like, I've never watched it. Michael Kent And I have no excuse for that. So I'm sorry, friends. Marissa F. Cohen (Marissa F. Cohen) It's a really good show. But Adam Brody and Kristen Bell's characters, anytime there's conflict and there's a lot of external conflict, they have a conversation about it and they work it out together and they understand. So even when one is feeling slighted or one is feeling put off, they have a conversation about it and they resolve it. The rest of the conflict is from external sources. So you're seeing these two people. It's like us against the world, but in a very positive way. And so more shows, I think, are going to start to have that similar dynamic. But up until now, and I do this at colleges all the time, think of a TV show or your favorite movie and think of a healthy relationship dynamic that's in it. It doesn't need to be 100% healthy all the time because that's not realistic. But think of one relationship where through the arc of the show, it is built on healthy principles. Yeah, I can't. It's so hard. It is really hard. Because conflict, like we're addicted to that conflict. That's why we watch the reality TV shows, right? Love is Blind. It's all built on conflict. It's nonsense. Right. Real housewives and all that. It's all conflict. They're all unhealthy. It's all produced on purpose that way. Michael Kent Also, like, you know, there was probably a push in the 60s that was like, we need TV couples to fight and to be unhealthy because real couples are. And people don't want to see the 50s, you know, Cleaver family, like perfect relationships because it doesn't they don't identify with it. So it might be a thing of like where, you know, reality, art imitates life rather than life imitating art. Marissa F. Cohen (Marissa F. Cohen) But I think the pendulum swung too far. Right. Now we look at like we've got Walter and Skylar White, who it's like impossible to know who's telling the truth and who's not. Right. And I mean, now we've set terrible expectations. Right. So in the 50s with Leave it to Beaver and all that, we set a terrible expectation for women. Right. If you are not happy and made up, if you don't like look at Marvelous Mrs. Maisel. Did you watch that show? I watched. Right. Michael Kent Real housewives and all that. It's all conflict. Marissa F. Cohen (Marissa F. Cohen) They're all unhealthy. It's all produced on purpose that way. Also, like, you know, there was probably a push in the 60s that was like, we need TV couples to fight and to be unhealthy because real couples are. And people don't want to see the 50s, you know, Cleaver family, like perfect relationships because it doesn't they don't identify with it. So it might be a thing of like where, you know, reality, art imitates life rather than life imitating art. But I think the pendulum swung too far. Right. Now we look at like we've got Walter and Skylar White, who it's like impossible to know who's telling the truth and who's not. Right. And I mean, now we've set terrible expectations. Right. So in the 50s with Leave it to Beaver and all that, we set a terrible expectation for women. Right. If you are not happy and made up, if you don't like look at Marvelous Mrs. Maisel. Did you watch that show? I watched. Michael Kent Some of it, but I'm currently rewatching Mad Men, but it's a similar era and the same vibe, yeah. If the woman isn't made up, hair perfect, dinner on the table the second the father gets home, right? Then if that's not what you're doing, you're a bad wife. Whereas now, it's like, you know, if you're not fighting about dumb stuff or if, you know, one of the people in the relationship isn't just a complete follower. Like, one person's not allowed to have an opinion and the other person has an opinion or whatever the dynamic is, right? It sets a terrible precedent for what people are willing to accept, which is why I have such a fundamentally challenging time at colleges when I do this activity. And inevitably, somebody will say, you know, well, Joker and Harley Quinn, I want that kind of love. Like, that's a healthy relationship. There's not a moment of time where that's a healthy relationship. But like when Suicide Squad came out, how many young women do you know dressed up like Harley Quinn for Halloween? Yeah. Yeah, there's a similar thing right now with one of my focuses with my career is engagement and dealing with, particularly in the corporate sphere, dealing with apathy and people who are not wanting to open themselves up to connect with other people. And it is somewhat generational, which I hate to say, but this is more of a younger person problem than an older person problem. And when you look at a very famous quote that came from Schitt's Creek, I'm trying really hard not to connect with people right now. It's on sweaters, it's on tote bags, it's on bumper stickers, and it's funny, but I hate it because it is contagion. Like there are people that now think like staying in and binge watching Netflix is a replacement for real live connection. And we are all needing more connection. And it becomes, you know, it's cliche to say, like, you know, because of the internet and social media and all that, but we need connection. We, like, people need connection to be fulfilled in our lives. It's how we, we are a very social species. And so everyone, when they get in that room with friends and they're connected, feels amazing. And if there's those times when you're in that room and you don't feel amazing, it's because you're not connected, which means you're either not present or you're not listening or you're not, you know what I mean? Marissa F. Cohen (Marissa F. Cohen) Like, but when you really, truly feel connected, there's no feeling like that. And it's, we're setting a really bad example by having these types of quotes, like, I'm really trying hard not to connect with people right now as, like, a popular feeling. Because it's, it becomes more than just a TV, you know, line. It becomes like... A whole culture type of thing where you're just, you know, this is more preferable. And I get it. It is more preferable sometimes to not like it feels more safe to just stay at home. But it's sort of lazy and it's sort of it's an easy way to you're letting your nervous system win. You're letting your, you know, your anxieties and everything win when you could be a much more fulfilled, happy person if you content person. If you do allow yourself to connect and be open to connection. Yeah. So fun fact, you might, you might be able to use this on your podcast, but the Eastern State Penitentiary in Philadelphia was the first penitentiary in the country that tried using isolation as a tactic as like a punishment for inmates. And what they found, yeah. So what they would do is like, they'd have everybody, um, uh, In their cells, staggered outdoor time. So they'd never know who was outside with them, and they couldn't see anyone. And they were all in like little, literally high wall, brick wall, five by five outdoor spaces. So they were completely isolated from each other. And they did not have any interaction with anybody, not in their cell, not around their cell, nothing. They were on one wall, separated by walls. And what they found was that within a few months of that lack of connection to anyone, these men went crazy. Michael Kent They went bananas. They tried to unalive themselves. They like were starting to hallucinate and like having severe mental health like backlash from it. So it's not, you know, it is in us. It's biological, that need for connection. And so phrases like I'm trying really hard not to, you know, connect with people right now. I agree with you. It's very funny. I love Schitt's Creek. I'm rewatching it for like the 18th time right now. I just watched that episode. It's like the second episode. But it really does set a bad precedent. And then you have the backlash of that where the loneliness epidemic. And when I go to colleges, a lot of these advisors are talking about, my students come to me and say, I feel like I have no friends, like I'm not connected. But then they have events and the students don't come out to events, right? So it's kind of like you're shooting, you're cutting off your nose to spite your face. Yeah, it's a huge problem. And outside, I don't know whether or not in the higher education world, if this is as much of an issue, but it definitely fuels addiction in the real world. The isolation fuels addiction. And have you ever heard of the Rat Park study? There's a famous study in the 70s. I think it was in Canada, but like British Columbia. Basically, they had a bunch of mice or lab rats or whatever. And they gave them access to, in their water bottle, they had like drugs in the water bottle, like morphine or cocaine or something in the water bottle. And the rats that were isolated constantly drugged themselves, but the rats that were in a community of other rats did not. That's so interesting. Yeah, and it's been used for, you know, for 40 years as this or 50 years as this study that shows that, like, we need connection. We need connection because we don't have connection. find other ways to satisfy our, I don't know if that's our nervous system or whatever that is in us. But we end up, you know, basically the connection aspect of it replaces the need to get dopamine from other things, right? Marissa F. Cohen (Marissa F. Cohen) So we're getting dopamine from those connections, which is critically important to our data. And it might not be substance abuse, right, particularly in those instances like you were talking about where the college students complain and then they don't leave. Michael Kent Well, they might be getting dopamine from scrolling Instagram or scrolling TikTok or reading or watching Netflix or whatever it is that they're doing. I'm not saying any one of those things is worse than the other. Marissa F. Cohen (Marissa F. Cohen) I'm just saying all of them are a thing you do when you're not connecting. If that becomes a replacement for connection to get your dopamine, that's when you're going to be, you know, basically you have to keep feeding that beast, you know, and keep you because that's where addiction comes from. need to keep feeding that dopamine thing because you're not getting it naturally. So I think the key here is, right, even if it's uncomfortable or if it feels, you know, weird, especially post-COVID, right, which I think creates... Michael Kent Created a lot of disconnection. It's finding that connection somehow. And so it kind of takes you away from, you know, trying to find it in other sources. Is that, I love that. absolutely. Yeah. Yeah. You know, we, I think like just natural human connection provides a lot of dopamine. Yeah. But that's if you're actually connecting. That doesn't mean being in a room with a person. means actually connecting. Yeah. That's really interesting. I feel like we've overshot your episode. This is gonna be like three different episodes. No, this is great. Honestly, I love this conversation. I was going to say like, I think we, you know, I could talk to you about this kind of all day. I love your perspective. But we should probably, we should probably get on with our days, you know, but thank you so much, Michael, for being here. Would you mind, I know you just put out a book. So would you mind talking about that for a second, telling everyone where they can get it, how they can reach you? Yeah, I selected more than 50 episodes or topics. pass.,ages, take you It's from my podcast, The Internet Says It's True, and compiled them into sort of like a bathroom reader style book. So you pick this thing up, and each story is only three or four pages, and they're all these amazing stories that sound made up but are really true. Marissa F. Cohen (Marissa F. Cohen) Like, for instance, one of the stories is about how before the Teachers in Space program from the Challenger space shuttle mission, their first idea was to put Big Bird in space. Michael Kent And I did an entire episode about how they really were going to, and Carol Spinney, the guy inside Big Bird costume, agreed to it and wanted to do it. And so we talk about that and, like, why it eventually failed and didn't, you know, that's what launched the Teachers in Space program. So there's stories like that that were, like, you know, make you say there's no way that's true, and they're all true. And at the end of every chapter, there's a QR code that you can scan that links you to the episode where you get to hear not only, you know, that story, but then also... Marissa F. Cohen (Marissa F. Cohen) A quiz with a guest, like we did with you on my previous two episodes. So, but yeah, you can find that wherever you buy books. Michael Kent It's called The Internet Says It's True, Stories That Sound Made Up But Aren't. Thank you so much. Marissa F. Cohen (Marissa F. Cohen) Thank you so much, Michael, for being here, for having this conversation. It felt very, I know we covered kind of a wide range of topics, but I think that it was all very valid and very, like, fascinating. Michael Kent So thank you, and I'd love to have you back on any time that you'd like. Marissa F. Cohen (Marissa F. Cohen) I would love to. Michael Kent This is, I agree with you. Marissa F. Cohen (Marissa F. Cohen) We could have just kept going because I love to talk about things that aren't magic and aren't, you know, history. Like if I can get to a point where I can just talk about real world stuff that, you know, is affecting all of us, I love that. So I envy what you do for a living, that you're helping people in a way that's like very connecting A to B in a straight line, you know? Michael Kent So it's really cool. Marissa F. Cohen (Marissa F. Cohen) Thank you very much. Michael Kent And I love what you do. Marissa F. Cohen (Marissa F. Cohen) I think magic is so fascinating and comedy just makes. People happy. I wish I was funnier. I always laugh when I'm talking to you, so. Oh, it's usually at me, but I appreciate it anyways. Well, you have a very happy new year, you and Larry, and it's good to talk to you again. Thank you. You too. That was awesome. Thank you very much. very welcome. Absolutely. Yeah, that was a lot of fun. Oh, good. And truly, anytime you want to come back. I will. Yeah. I don't know. I feel like we covered everything in the first episode. My episodes always range. Thank you. Yeah, absolutely. All right. So now I'm going to record my two episodes, and I won't have to do anything next week. Woo! Thank you. So I have one set up for this week and next week, so this will be probably January 21st, and when it goes up, I'll send it. me in it, and yep. Will do. Sounds great. Okay. Thanks, Marissa. Thanks, Michael. Have a good one. All right. You too. Bye. Bye.
When you've been in an emotionally abusive relationship, the need for clarity can feel all-consuming. You want to know why they did what they did — why they lied, withdrew, or turned cold. You believe that if you can just understand their behavior, you'll finally be able to find peace.Clarity from someone who manipulates and distorts reality rarely exists — at least not in the way survivors hope it will. The search for answers becomes part of the trap, keeping you focused on their motives instead of your own healing.I break down how the cycle of abuse keeps survivors waiting for closure that never comes, how trauma bonds form from confusion and intermittent tenderness, and how to start shifting your focus from understanding them to understanding yourself.You'll learn:Why abusers thrive in ambiguity and confusionHow seeking clarity can keep you trauma-bondedWhat real clarity looks like (and where to find it)How to stop analyzing their behavior and start rebuilding your peaceIf you're stuck in the endless loop of “why,” this episode will help you turn that question inward — toward your boundaries, your self-respect, and your healing.Mentioned in this episode:Emotional Abuse Breakthrough Course: https://jessicaknight.thinkific.com/Unhooked: The Private Podcast + Course on the Cycle of Abuse: https://jessicaknight.thinkific.com/courses/unhookedSubstack: Hit Me Baby One More Time: https://jessicaknightcoaching.substack.comCoaching and Resources at EmotionalAbuseCoach.comSupport the show*Please Note: there is a long intro that explains my services. If you do not want to listen, just fast-forward 5 mins past. This intro will be changed in future recordings to be shorter. I am not paid to record this podcast and it is a free offering. Offering my work is the only way I can sustain the podcast* Join the Patreon: https://patreon.com/Youarenotcrazy *New Course*: Unhooked: Map the Cycle of Abuse in your Relationship Website: Emotional Abuse Coach and high-conflictdivorcecoaching.comInstagram: @emotionalabusecoachEmail: jessica@jessicaknightcoaching.com{Substack} Blog About Recovering from Abuse {E-Book} How to Break Up with a Narcissist{Course} Identify Signs of Abuse and Begin to Heal{Free Resource} Canned Responses for Engaging with an Abusive Partner
If this title hit a nerve, this episode is for you.In this deeply personal conversation, I unpack the realities of emotionally abusive relationships—the kind that don't start abusive, the kind that look “nice” on the surface, and the kind that quietly rewire your brain.Using pop culture (yes, Bravo men), personal stories, and hard-earned clarity, this episode explores why toxic relationships are so hard to leave, why the in-between space pulls us back in, and how patterns matter more than potential. If you've ever thought, “I never thought it'd be me,” this episode is for you.Sign up for the Tough Love Club- our monthly snail mail subscriptionSubscribe on YouTubeFollow on InstagramFollow on TikTokAll Links
Y'all. Bad Queers was just nominated for a Queerties award for Best Podcast. Our first nomination!We'd love your support, vote for our podcast daily until 2/17! https://www.queerty.com/queerties/vote/?category_id=2609-----This week we dive into Angel Reese joining The Hunting Wives, Karamo Brown has had enough of his toxic Queer Eye cast mates and Unrivaled updates.Plus, Am I A Bad Queer? tackles dating while sober, avoiding politics in romance, and using queerness to finesse work. We wrap with Bad Queer Opinions, P-Valley love, and whether studs finally got their 2026 rebrand.Shoutouts:Kris: The L Table - The L Table is a space where lesbians/queer people can show up as their full selves—no code-switching, no pressure, just real connection through intimate dinners, virtual meetups, and fun events like Lesbians and Legos in NC, VA, SC, DC, ATL, and New Orleans.Follow on IG: @theltable_Shana: Buff Boy Club - Celebrating radical dyke self love and confidence. They promote queer masculinity specifically from a POC perspective - Follow @buffboyclub Episode notes:0:41 - Queer Urban Dictionary8:45 - Category is: The Queerties13:50 - Category is: Angel Reese Joins Season 2 of The Hunting Wives16:50 - Category is: ‘Queer Eye' Star Karamo Brown Opts Out of Morning Show Stops Citing “Mental and Emotional Abuse”25:10 - Category is: Unrivaled38:46 - Am I A Bad Queer?52:23 - Bad Queer Opinions58:44 - ShoutoutsShare your Am I A Bad Queer? hereSupport the showPATREON: patreon.com/BadQueersPodcast Subscribe to our Youtubehttps://www.youtube.com/@BadQueersPodcast The opinions expressed during this podcast are conversational in nature and expressed only for comedic purposes. Not all of the facts will be correct but we attempt to be as accurate as possible. BQ Media LLC, the hosts, nor any guest host(s) hold no liability over the conversations on this podcast and by using this podcast you understand that it is solely for entertainment purposes. Copyright Disclaimer: Under Section 107 of the Copyright Act 1976, allowance is made for "fair use" for purposes such as criticism, comment, news reporting, teaching, parody, scholarship and research.
Listen to today's podcast... Words Hurt. Name Calling is a form of Emotional Abuse. Many of us have worked for or with someone who was emotionally abusive. According to research from Employment Law Alliance, 45% of us reported being abused in the office. People who are the target of emotional abuse are made to feel insignificant and incapable. Take One Action Today To Build Your #Resiliency! So here are Today's Tips For Building Resiliency and Bringing Awareness To No Name Calling Week: There is a thin line between joking around and causing harm to each other in the office. Nicknames are bound to pop up in the office. But once the name calling is unwanted and based on gender, sexuality, or ability, it's no longer a friendly exchange. If we are bullied, we might think it's because we are not a good worker, or perhaps not a good person. In other words, we start to believe what the bully is saying about us. We start to blame ourselves. Don't give in to the lie. Document your experience. If you don't keep track of what is happening, then, in the eyes of the law, it didn't happen. One of the bully's tactics will be to isolate you from fellow workers. Keep your relationships with co-workers as strong as you can. Let them know what is going on and let them know that you need support during this time. Looking for resources to build your healthy workplace? Check out my top 10 tips under Resources and Courses at worksmartlivesmart.com #mentalhealth #hr
Send us a textCamille Toscano joins Sara to share how healing from childhood abuse and divorce required one non-negotiable step: boundaries. Together they unpack red flags, nervous-system warning signs, and practical tools—plus Camille's new Divorce SOS App designed to help people through breakup and divorce.Connect with Camille Toscano:Website: camilletoscano.comDivorce SOS App: www.divorcesosapp.comDivorce SOS Handbook: www.divorcesoshandbook.comInstagram: @camilledivorcecoachLinkedIn: Camille ToscanoFacebook: @camilledivorcecoachTikTok: @camilletoscanoSupport the showFind more information and resources here: http://saradavison.com/Follow me on social media►Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/saradavisondivorcecoach/Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/SaraDavisonDivorceCoachTwitter: https://twitter.com/SDDivorceCoachLinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/sara-davison-742b453/
This episode unpacks what happens when speaking your truth gets twisted into a blame game. You finally name the pattern—gaslighting, neglect, constant eggshells—only to have the conversation hijacked. Suddenly you're defending a mistake from years ago, a text tone, or an unrelated incident. Instead of accountability, you're trapped in deflection, false equivalency, and emotional erasure.Jessica breaks down how this tactic shows up in everyday conversations, why it's such a powerful tool of emotional abuse, and how it connects to the larger cycle. She explains DARVO in real time, highlights the difference between repair and image management, and shares ways to recognize when the blame game is pulling you off center.If you've ever left an argument wondering how you became the problem just for naming your pain, this episode will help you see the pattern clearly—and remind you that you are not crazy.Support the show*Please Note: there is a long intro that explains my services. If you do not want to listen, just fast-forward 5 mins past. This intro will be changed in future recordings to be shorter. I am not paid to record this podcast and it is a free offering. Offering my work is the only way I can sustain the podcast* Join the Patreon: https://patreon.com/Youarenotcrazy *New Course*: Unhooked: Map the Cycle of Abuse in your Relationship Website: Emotional Abuse Coach and high-conflictdivorcecoaching.comInstagram: @emotionalabusecoachEmail: jessica@jessicaknightcoaching.com{Substack} Blog About Recovering from Abuse {E-Book} How to Break Up with a Narcissist{Course} Identify Signs of Abuse and Begin to Heal{Free Resource} Canned Responses for Engaging with an Abusive Partner
#narcissisticabuserecovery #attachmentwounds #innercritic #innerchildhealing Growing up with a narcissist makes that kind of conditional abusive love familiar and then you unconsciously repeat the patterns in all areas of your life until you break the cycle. I share a 5 step process using the chakras on how to shift your identity and energy so this no longer happens sharing my own story and 5.5 years helping clients with this. DFree resources & work with me hereBook 121 here if available: Email manpreet@heartshappiness.co.uk to apply for long term coaching for 4 or 6 months 0:00 Moving From Narcissistic Abuse to Healthy Love 04:22 Root Chakra: Internal and External safety in relationships 16:04 Sacral Chakra: Dissolve shame and Activate desire 26:13 Solar Plexus : Reclaim Your Power 32:00 Heart Chakra: Be the Receiver 36:41 Throat Chakra: Authentic Expression Follow me on socials: Instagram: Tik tok: You tube:Substack: Details on how to work with me here
Relebogile Mabotja speaks with the listeners who share their experiences of growing up facing discrimination due to skin colour, certain physical features and even hair texture in their homes by their own parents and family.702 Afternoons with Relebogile Mabotja is broadcast live on Johannesburg based talk radio station 702 every weekday afternoon. Relebogile brings a lighter touch to some of the issues of the day as well as a mix of lifestyle topics and a peak into the worlds of entertainment and leisure. Thank you for listening to a 702 Afternoons with Relebogile Mabotja podcast. Listen live on Primedia+ weekdays from 13:00 to 15:00 (SA Time) to Afternoons with Relebogile Mabotja broadcast on 702 https://buff.ly/gk3y0Kj For more from the show go to https://buff.ly/2qKsEfu or find all the catch-up podcasts here https://buff.ly/DTykncj Subscribe to the 702 Daily and Weekly Newsletters https://buff.ly/v5mfetc Follow us on social media: 702 on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/TalkRadio702 702 on TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@talkradio702 702 on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/talkradio702/ 702 on X: https://x.com/Radio702 702 on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@radio702 See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
How do you actually break free from emotional and spiritual abuse in your Christian home?Most Christian women stay stuck because nobody tells them the truth: breaking free requires three specific stages. In this episode, you'll find out why you keep falling for the "honeymoon phase" trap, what you need to do first before anything else, and why writing everything down literally saves your sanity. This isn't feel-good advice. This is the actual path thousands of women have walked to get out and stay out.Key Takeaways:Stage One is safety. Learn what that looks like.The abuse cycle speeds up over time: Tension builds, he explodes, then comes the honeymoon where he's suddenly the man you married. Research shows this cycle gets faster and more violent the longer you stay.Write everything down: Keep a detailed abuse log with dates, quotes, and screenshots. This counters his gaslighting and becomes essential evidence down the road.You're in the cycle too: When you feel hopeful after his apology, you're caught in the honeymoon trap. Recognizing why you go back to the “hope drug” will be key to your ultimate freedom. Real freedom is peace without dread: It's waking up without calculating how he'll react to your existence. It's making choices without permission. It's living as yourself instead of his idea of who you should be
In this episode, I talk about a communication pattern that so many people experience in emotionally abusive and high-conflict relationships—but rarely have language for.It's the moment when a message sounds reasonable on paper, calm in tone, even “child-focused”… and yet your body reacts immediately.I walk through what's happening when someone says all the right things while doing the opposite—hiding control behind concern, and contradiction behind “cooperation.” I use a real client example from co-parenting to show how this plays out in everyday emails about clothing, schedules, school, and parenting decisions—and how quickly it turns into self-doubt, over-explaining, and emotional exhaustion.In this episode, I share:Why these interactions feel so destabilizing even when they look calmHow contradictory communication pulls you into constant self-defenseWhat to look for when words and actions don't line upWhy this isn't a communication problem—and why you're not overreactingHow to begin tracking patterns so you can stop gaslighting yourselfIf you've ever read a message and thought, “Why do I feel like I'm losing my footing right now?” this episode is for you.This episode is a re-record of the Double Speak episode because I did not know there was noise in the background!Support the show*Please Note: there is a long intro that explains my services. If you do not want to listen, just fast-forward 5 mins past. This intro will be changed in future recordings to be shorter. I am not paid to record this podcast and it is a free offering. Offering my work is the only way I can sustain the podcast* Join the Patreon: https://patreon.com/Youarenotcrazy *New Course*: Unhooked: Map the Cycle of Abuse in your Relationship Website: Emotional Abuse Coach and high-conflictdivorcecoaching.comInstagram: @emotionalabusecoachEmail: jessica@jessicaknightcoaching.com{Substack} Blog About Recovering from Abuse {E-Book} How to Break Up with a Narcissist{Course} Identify Signs of Abuse and Begin to Heal{Free Resource} Canned Responses for Engaging with an Abusive Partner
Adam works with a client to help them heal from years of emotional abuse and to restore feelings of self love, self respect and the belief that they are worthy. To access a subscriber-only version with no intro, outro, explanation, or ad breaks and 24 hours earlier than everyone else, tap 'Subscribe' nearby or click the following link.https://creators.spotify.com/pod/profile/adam-cox858/subscribe
#202 - What if one hard rule could change the way you face everything from headwinds to heartbreak? I sat down with author and adventurer Teri Brown to unpack how a 3,102-mile tandem bike ride across America helped her leave an abusive past, reclaim her voice, and build a set of life rules sturdy enough to carry her through grief.Starting in Astoria and crossing Lolo Pass into Big Sky country, Teri and her husband Bruce pedaled through pandemic uncertainty, logistics stress, and days so hot the road rippled. Riding tandem forced a new kind of honesty: shared cadence, three-count stand breaks, and zero room for simmering resentment. A Dollar General parking lot became a place to name a hurt and move on. Montana gifted them wonder—horses racing uphill beside them, the Milky Way hanging close, and Comet NEOWISE blazing a tail across the night sky. Those moments of awe refueled their grit when flats stacked up and the wind turned cruel.Out of the ride came Ten Little Rules for a Double-Butted Adventure. “Never quit on a bad day” stopped a mid-ride collapse after three flats; “Do hard things” later became a mantra as Bruce faced glioblastoma. Terry read from the book at his bedside; he passed as she spoke those words, a final gift that still gets her up when grief says stay down. The finish line in Washington, D.C. unlocked a deeper shift: the question changed from “Can I?” to “What do I want?” She chose authorship, publishing novels that explore identity, war, resilience, and healing.If you're navigating burnout, rebuilding after loss, or wrestling with self-doubt, this conversation offers practical resilience, relationship tools, and a fresh definition of adventure: bigger than your plans, kinder than your fear, and honest about the work. Listen, share it with someone who needs a push, and tell us: which rule will you carry into your next hill?To learn more about Teri and her books visit www.terimbrown.com and check her out on Instagram @terimbrown_author.Subscribe to the Human Adventure for more human stories of grit and growth, leave a review to help others find the show, and connect with us to keep the conversation going. You can find me on Instagram @humanadventurepod or check out the video episodes on YouTube @humanadventurepod. Visit geneticinsights.co and use the code "DISCOVER25" to enjoy a sweet 25% off your first purchase.
Email us at: HealingFromEmotionalAbusePod@gmail.com Healing after abuse doesn't end when the abuse does. In this episode, I reflect on 15 years of life after experiencing abuse, sharing how healing evolves over time, what recovery actually looks like long-term, and the insights that only come with distance and self-work. We discuss: The long-term effects of abuse Why healing isn't linear or time-bound Growth, grief, and self-compassion years later Rebuilding identity after trauma Moving from survival into intentional healing This episode is for survivors who are years into their journey and still learning, growing, and redefining what healing means. Ideal for listeners searching for: Healing years after abuse Long-term abuse recovery Trauma reflection and growth Survivor stories and healing journeys Mental health and post-traumatic growth
If the idea of setting big goals this year feels overwhelming, exhausting, or completely out of reach, this episode is for you. For some people, January brings motivation and momentum. For others, it brings heaviness, survival mode, or a quiet realization that they've been running on empty for a long time. In this episode, we're talking about why big goals can feel overwhelming — and what to do instead. Not because you're lazy.Not because you lack discipline.But because your nervous system may be asking for safety before growth. We'll explore why depression and survival mode aren't signs that something is wrong with you, but rather signals — like a check engine light — letting you know that something deeper needs care and attention. I'll walk you through a gentler, trauma-informed process for beginning the year when motivation is low, including: Why survival mode is a valid starting line How to stop forcing yourself to “start the year strong” The power of allowing your emotions without fear they'll consume you Creating a very small baseline instead of big goals Letting joy, relief, and what feels fun lead — without “shoulds” And how this season may be pointing you toward deeper healing of unresolved grief, anger, or old emotional wounds. This is a guided experience for people who are tender and need space. It's a longer, workshop-style episode designed to be listened to slowly, in one sitting or in parts. And it's a conversation about permission.Permission to pause.Permission to feel.Permission to meet yourself where you actually are. No hustle, no bypassing, no pressure to be “better.” Just an honest, compassionate way forward — especially if this season feels heavier than you expected. If you'd like some extra support in this, join me in The Clarity Room: A free live group coaching experience that takes you from Confusion to Clarity. Sunday January 18th, 5pm pst / 8pm est It's a gentle, supportive space designed for moments exactly like this — when big goals feel like too much, when you're in survival mode, or when you know something deeper is asking for your attention, but you don't want to force or rush the process. Links: Add The Clarity Room to your calendar (zoom link included) for Sunday Jan 18th. https://evt.to/mq6v6k1ftd86 Schedule your free Clarity Call at www.bodyyoucrave.com/schedule Download your free end emotional eating tool: https://download.bodyyoucrave.com/feelings-wheel-sign-up Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jillianscoaching Chapters (00:00:02) - Hungry for Love(00:00:19) - How to Set Big Goals When You're Overwhelmed(00:08:22) - Post-Divorce Depression: How to Survive(00:11:01) - How to Reset: Living in Survival Mode(00:18:22) - Emotional Abuse(00:24:09) - Allow Negative Emotions to Exist Without Stopping(00:27:10) - How to Stop Being Negative(00:32:34) - Living in Survival Mode (Step 3)(00:38:08) - How to Raise a Trauma Child(00:42:50) - Step 4: Create a Small baseline(00:45:18) - 5 Steps to Building Joy in Your Life(00:52:07) - How to Let Go of the Timeline of Healing(00:58:23) - How to Heal from a Betrayal(01:02:36) - What is it that's asking for your attention right now?(01:07:31) - Binge Eating and Relationship Cycle Break the Cycle
Attorney Arlene Haeggquist, survivor advocate and legal powerhouse, shares how women can take legal action against workplace sexual harassment, assault, and abuse. Learn documentation strategies, your legal rights, and how to empower yourself through the court process. This episode covers: ✨ Workplace sexual harassment and assault—50% of women experience it ✨ How to document abuse for legal cases (emails, screenshots, timestamps) ✨ Your legal rights as a survivor of workplace abuse ✨ Breaking the silence: why reporting matters ✨ Building support systems during litigation ✨ Toxic workplace culture and power dynamics ✨ Healing from financial abuse and exploitation ✨ Arlene's story: From abuse survivor to advocate for thousands Perfect for survivors, advocates, and anyone wanting to understand workplace rights, boundaries, and legal empowerment. Your journey from victim to survivor to thriver starts here. If you're ready to reclaim your life and learn from others' healing journeys, hit subscribe and join our community of resilient souls. Have a story to share? Email us at HealingFromEmotionalAbusePod@gmail.com —we'd love to feature your questions, healing strategies, opinions and survivor testimonies on the podcast. Transcript of Episode:
After leaving an abusive relationship, it's common to find yourself stuck in an exhausting loop of self-doubt. You replay conversations. You question your memory. You wonder if you overreacted—or if maybe it wasn't that bad.In this episode, I break down why second-guessing yourself after abuse isn't a flaw—it's a survival response. I talk about how abusers train you to distrust your own perceptions and why that confusion lingers even after you leave. I also share practical ways to start rebuilding self-trust, including how to create a reality checklist and a “no-debate list” to help you anchor back into truth when your mind starts to spin.Support the show*Please Note: there is a long intro that explains my services. If you do not want to listen, just fast-forward 5 mins past. This intro will be changed in future recordings to be shorter. I am not paid to record this podcast and it is a free offering. Offering my work is the only way I can sustain the podcast* Join the Patreon: https://patreon.com/Youarenotcrazy *New Course*: Unhooked: Map the Cycle of Abuse in your Relationship Website: Emotional Abuse Coach and high-conflictdivorcecoaching.comInstagram: @emotionalabusecoachEmail: jessica@jessicaknightcoaching.com{Substack} Blog About Recovering from Abuse {E-Book} How to Break Up with a Narcissist{Course} Identify Signs of Abuse and Begin to Heal{Free Resource} Canned Responses for Engaging with an Abusive Partner
If you've been told that staying married "for the kids" is the most loving choice you can make, this episode will challenge everything you thought you knew about protecting your children.The truth is, emotional and spiritual abuse doesn't just harm you, it rewires your children's brains, damages their attachment systems, and poisons their relationship with God. Research shows that staying in a high-conflict, abusive marriage can be up to 10 times more damaging to children than divorce. And when abuse is wrapped in religious language, the harm multiplies. Your kids aren't just losing safety, they're losing their ability to experience God as loving and trustworthy.
This episode is about why everything feels harder, louder, and more urgent during the holidays when you're navigating high-conflict divorce or co-parenting with a controlling or volatile person. Why situations that felt barely manageable in October suddenly feel explosive in December. Why your body feels like it's bracing for impact every single day. And why so many parents reach a breaking point and say, “This can't wait until January.”I break down what's actually happening beneath the surface—how time pressure, court slowdowns, holiday schedules, dysregulated kids, financial stress, and relentless communication collide all at once. How the holidays become a tool for control rather than connection. And why this season so often pushes already-burned-out parents into survival mode.I am well aware this episode is coming after the Holiday season. I am sorry I could not get it out before!Support the show*Please Note: there is a long intro that explains my services. If you do not want to listen, just fast-forward 5 mins past. This intro will be changed in future recordings to be shorter. I am not paid to record this podcast and it is a free offering. Offering my work is the only way I can sustain the podcast* Join the Patreon: https://patreon.com/Youarenotcrazy *New Course*: Unhooked: Map the Cycle of Abuse in your Relationship Website: Emotional Abuse Coach and high-conflictdivorcecoaching.comInstagram: @emotionalabusecoachEmail: jessica@jessicaknightcoaching.com{Substack} Blog About Recovering from Abuse {E-Book} How to Break Up with a Narcissist{Course} Identify Signs of Abuse and Begin to Heal{Free Resource} Canned Responses for Engaging with an Abusive Partner
Meet the new co-host transforming your healing journey. Sami Litchert joins us to explore the relationships that matter—toxic relationship recovery, healthy relationship building, and the power of survivors sharing their stories. If you're breaking free from emotional abuse, learning to set boundaries, or supporting someone on their healing path, this episode is a turning point. Together, we're creating a safe space where survivors are celebrated and empowered. Join us as we dive into what healthy relationships look like and why your story—and your boundaries—are worth protecting. Episode Transcript: https://marissafayecohen.com/healing-from-emotional-abuse-introducing-sami-litchert-boundaries-toxic-relationships-survivor-stories/
What is the weapon Christian abusers most commonly use?In this sixth installment of the Emotional Abuse 101 series, Natalie Hoffman talks about a subtle weapon many Christian men wield in emotionally abusive relationships: criticism. But not the obvious, name-calling type. This is the more insidious, underhanded kind that's drenched in misogyny and spiritual distortion.If you've ever wondered why your husband criticizes you, even while appearing like a “good Christian man,” this episode will show you the truth behind the curtain. And it will help you take your power back.
Emotional abuse doesn’t leave visible bruises. Emotional abuse is always one weak apology away from being brushed under the rug. But trust and physical intimacy are impossible without emotional safety, and anything that disrupts emotional safety is abuse. Sheri and Matt talk through 10 forms of emotional abuse, from the obvious to the subtle. For a free trial month in Echoes of Recovery or SHOUT Sobriety, please start the enrollment process in January. If you have been impacted by your partner’s drinking or emotional abuse, go to EchoesOfRecovery.org. If you are leaving alcohol behind or trying to create an environment of emotional safety, go to SHOUTSobriety.org.
In this episode of Mental Wealth, we take a deep dive into one of the most misunderstood forms of psychological harm: Emotional Abuse. Because it doesn't leave physical scars, emotional abuse is often minimized or ignored, but its impact on the soul and mind can be devastating.I also start this episode with a quick life update and a sincere apology for my irregular posting schedule lately. Thank you for sticking with me as I navigate life's transitions!In this episode, we break down:Defining the Undefinable: What emotional abuse actually is beyond the misconceptions.The 8 Faces of Abuse: A detailed look at Coercion, Gaslighting, Emotional Withholding, Isolation, Surveillance, Financial Control, Degradation, and Dominance.The "Why" Behind the Struggle: The psychological reasons why it is so difficult to leave an abusive environment.Steps to Freedom: How to begin the journey of recognition, stabilization, and breaking the isolation.If you have ever felt like you're walking on eggshells or questioning your own reality, this episode is for you. You are not alone, and there is a path to safety.
Emotional abuse in a Christian marriage doesn't just damage your mental health. It corrodes your spiritual foundation until you can't tell the difference between God's voice and your abuser's voice anymore.
What happens when you're the only one trying in your marriage? When your partner seems indifferent, and you're the one praying, planning, reading, learning, bending, sacrificing only to be met with silence or worse, resistance?In this episode, Natalie peels back the layers of emotional and spiritual exhaustion that come from being the only emotionally invested person in a relationship. With grace, clarity, and a no-nonsense look at reality, she answers a powerful listener question: “If I'm the only one caring, what's the point of staying?”
In Episode 141 of Surviving Your Journey Towards Success, host Nichel Anderson explores a critical and often overlooked issue—emotional abuse in the workplace. This episode dives deep into understanding why such toxic behavior continues to thrive in professional environments and what individuals can do to protect their mental and emotional well-being. Nichel explains that emotional abuse festers when unhealthy power dynamics, fear-based leadership, and lack of accountability become normalized. In many workplaces, subtle forms of manipulation, exclusion, or verbal hostility are dismissed as “just part of the job.” Over time, this creates a culture where employees feel powerless, undervalued, and emotionally drained. Nichel emphasizes that recognizing these patterns is the first step toward change. She offers practical strategies for those facing toxic environments. One key approach is setting emotional boundaries—learning to detach from the negativity and not internalize abusive behavior. Another is documenting incidents to maintain clarity and evidence if escalation becomes necessary. Nichel also encourages seeking support from trusted colleagues, HR, or professional networks to avoid isolation. For leaders and organizations, Nichel highlights the importance of fostering empathy, transparency, and open communication. A healthy workplace culture begins with accountability and respect at every level. This episode serves as both a wake-up call and a motivational guide for anyone navigating emotional challenges at work. Nichel's insights remind listeners that healing and empowerment start with awareness and action. Tune in to Episode 141 of Surviving Your Journey Towards Success to gain valuable strategies and a renewed perspective on overcoming emotional abuse in the workplace—moving forward with strength, clarity, and purpose.
In this episode, I walk you through five crucial differences between a healthy Christian marriage and an emotionally abusive one.
Have you ever been told that saying "no" makes you selfish? That good Christian women never rock the boat, always serve with a smile, and definitely do not have thoughts of their own?This episode is Part 2 of our Emotional Abuse 101 series, and today we're diving into the art of saying no.If the idea of saying no makes your stomach flip or sends you into a guilt spiral, this episode is your lifeline. I'll walk you through WHY it's so hard to say no and HOW to start saying it anyway with confidence and without apology.Key Takeaways:Saying no without guilt is an adult skill, not a rebellious sin. People-pleasing is often a trauma response. Your nervous system isn't broken. It's just been doing its job a little too well.You don't need permission to have boundaries. You're not waiting for anyone's approval. Boundaries ≠ controlling others. Boundaries = choosing how YOU respond when others misbehave.There's neuroscience behind this. Your brain can be rewired to feel safe even when saying no. Read the full show notes and/or ask Natalie a question hereGet a FREE chapter of Is It ME? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, along with the companion workbook for that chapter, by going to flyingfreenow.com. I'll also send you the Freedom Letters. (Also free.
In this inspiring episode of Warriors Unmasked, Chuck Thuss sits down with Adrienne Caldwell — a survivor, author, and advocate whose journey proves that even the darkest beginnings can lead to a life filled with purpose, peace, and hope. Adrienne opens up about a childhood marked by trauma and instability, but also the powerful turning point that set her on a path toward healing, rebuilding, and reclaiming her voice. Today, she uses her story to help others feel seen, supported, and empowered in their own healing. This conversation is emotional, courageous, and ultimately uplifting — a reminder that no matter what you've been through, it's never too late to rise, heal, and write a new chapter. Guest Bio Adrienne Caldwell is the author of the forthcoming memoir Unbroken: Life Outside the Lines — a raw and unflinching account of her journey through trauma, survival, and ultimately, healing. The book sheds light on the darkest corners of the human experience, including untreated mental illness, homelessness, foster care abuse, incest, addiction, and sexual violence, and emerges with a message of fierce resilience and unbreakable hope. More than a chronicle of pain, Unbroken is a story of identity, family, love, and finding your voice when the world refuses to listen. It's about reclaiming power and choosing purpose over despair. You'll hear About The childhood trauma that shaped Adrienne's early life How repression, addiction, and self-medicating became survival tools The moment that changed her healing journey How writing her book forced her to face decades of buried trauma Finding peace, stability, and purpose after a lifetime of hardship Chapters 00:00 Welcome and Introduction 01:10 Adrienne's Mission and Early Life 02:14 Trauma Beginning at Age Five 04:39 Suicide Attempts and a Life-Changing Moment 07:01 Growing Up with Mental Illness in the Home 09:23 Moving Homes, Instability, and Emotional Repression 11:51 Attachment Disorder and Numbing the Pain 13:50 The Psychiatric Ward Epiphany 16:41 Discovering the Truth in Her CPS Files 18:49 Emotional Abuse in Foster Care 20:53 Beginning the Writing and Healing Process 23:36 Overcoming Grief, Loss, and Hardship 26:07 Family Patterns and Lack of Awareness 28:30 Gratitude, Stability, and a New Life 30:53 Living with Purpose and Inspiring Others 33:20 A Message to Anyone Who Feels Hopeless 35:42 Chuck's Closing Reflections Chuck's Challenge This week, take one honest step toward facing something you've been avoiding. Stop the numbing, stop the running, and give yourself permission to feel what needs healing. You don't have to do it alone — just start with one step. Connect with Adriene Caldwell Book: https://www.unbrokencaldwell.com/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/UnbrokenCaldwell Linked In: https://www.linkedin.com/in/UnbrokenCaldwell/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/UnbrokenCaldwel/ Connect with Chuck Check out the website: https://www.thecompassionateconnection.com/ Linked In: https://www.linkedin.com/in/chuck-thuss-a9aa044/ Follow on Instagram: @warriorsunmasked Join the Warriors Unmasked community by subscribing to the show. Together, we're breaking stigmas and shining a light on mental health, one story at a time.
There are books that feel like confession and books that feel like prayer—and then there are books like Ring of Salt, which feel like stepping into someone's storm and finding, somehow, that the wind has shifted in your favor. From the first page, Betsy Cornwell brings listeners into a life carved by longing, survival, and the quiet bravery of beginning again. In this episode, Betsy joins us from the wild coast of Ireland, where she rebuilt her life as a single mother after an emotionally abusive marriage—one she entered with an open heart and left with a baby on her hip and a new truth taking shape inside her.Ring of Salt is her memoir of that unraveling and rebirth. Braided through her story are the landscapes that held her—green cliffs, ancient tides, a historic knitting factory that became her refuge—and the ghosts that tried to follow her from childhood trauma into adulthood. The book reads like a long, lyrical poem: part survival narrative, part love letter to Ireland, part reckoning with the ways emotional abuse distorts a woman's sense of self. It is a story of leaving, of coming home to one's own body, and of discovering that single motherhood, though terrifying, can also be expansive and sacred. Betsy writes with a steadiness that tells the truth without flinching, and a tenderness that reminds every survivor to inhale, to rest, to trust that life can love you again.What emerges from our conversation is a portrait of a woman who has turned pain into offering. Betsy talks about the fear of publishing her own wounds, the responsibility of writing for other survivors, and the hope she pours into the residency space she is building for single mothers in Ireland. Ring of Salt matters because it names what so many live but cannot articulate. It matters because it says: you are not imagining it, you are not weak, and you are not alone. And for anyone standing at the edge of a life transition—unsure, afraid, half-dreaming of something freer—this is the book you reach for in the middle of the night.
Welcome to part one of a brand-new series I'm calling “Emotional Abuse 101: Everything You Need to Know,” because, let's face it, the church didn't exactly hand out “How to Spot a Narcissist in Your Youth Group” pamphlets in Sunday school.In this episode, I'm diving into the 10 most subtle signs of emotional abuse, the kind of signs that don't leave bruises on your body but do leave bruises on your soul. These are the red flags that fly under the radar, the ones that make you ask “Am I too sensitive?” or “Maybe I am the problem?”Here are some things we'll cover in this episode:The Silent Treatment Special — Why emotional withholding isn't just immature behavior, and the real reason he's using it against youMr. Jekyll and Pastor Hyde — What happens when everyone else thinks he's amazing, but you're living with someone completely different at homeStrategic Emotional Sabotage — The shocking pattern behind why your birthdays, holidays, and girls' nights keep getting ruined Weaponized Vulnerability — How opening your heart becomes ammunition in his hands, and why you're not crazy for feeling betrayedDream Crusher Lite™ — The subtle way he makes pursuing your goals absolutely miserable without ever saying "no" outrightPlausible Deniability — Why you're always "too sensitive" or "making assumptions," and how this phrase is actually a manipulation tacticRead the full show notes and/or ask Natalie a question hereTake a FREE emotional abuse quiz by going to emotionalabusequiz.com. Find out if what you're experiencing is normal Christian marriage stuff...or abuse. Related Resources:Was this episode helpful? You may find these two Flying Free episodes equally worthwhile: “Does an Abuser Know They Are Abusive?” and “Nine Tricks Emotional Abuser Use to Pull Us Back Into the Cycle (and six clever ways to respond!)”
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