CPNP Podcasts | Crazy Pants No Pants

A Special Show for A Special Time The unedited Crazy Pants No Pants Hour of Mike Foolery Special. Featuring Brad the Believer. This is a full hour of funny. And I haven't listen to the whole thing so don't blame me if we offend or bore. We promise nothing.

10/13/08. 8 mins.  Brad actually got physically ill during the live broadcast of this show. And I think I know why.

10/08/08. 3 mins.  It's 3 minutes long. It doesn't get a description.

9/29/08. 5 mins.  Warm and fuzzy, that's how I would describe this little show. Warm like a fuzzy nipple. The kind of show where people laugh louder at jokes that they actually get, regardless if it's a funny joke or not. 

9/23/08. 14 mins.  Mike Foolery is here, Barry is missing, and Fucking Seth is learning how to cook. But there is good news: Fat Bret Favre is back for more and I like our odds. Join us for another raucous edition of the CPNP RADIO SHOW.

9/18/08. 10 mins.  Tonight on CPNP Radio: Barry the Loquacious is nowhere to be found, I reflect on spitting gum in an innocent girl's hair, my Michael Caine impression is close to perfect, and Fucking Seth refuses to read Vampire News. It's a short one.

9/17/08. 33 mins.  We defend our lack of vampire news, Barry introduces us to some controversial abortion poetry, Mikey liked it and he did die from mixing pop rocks and soda, and R Kelly reminds us what it's like to be human again.

9/16/08. 33 mins.  Satanists eat human hearts - what does PETA have to say, two hookers murdered after a sex party - do you still have to pay them, the shortest man and the longest legs - who has the advantage. Plus, LiLo hits back at the paps, Audrina Partridge gives us Prom advice, and Banana slugs devour each other's penises. All this and more with Mike Foolery and Barry the Loquacious.

9/15/08. 40 mins.  The love Dr. offers some saucy advice, we discuss the best way to kill yourself without embarrassing your family, can eskimos really predict the future, is it lice or just a practical joke, and how many fingers am I holding up? You better know the answers to these and many more questions or I'm going to do things to this country you only read about in Tom Clancy joints.

9/10/08. 23 mins.  We'll hear Matt Damon comparing Sarah Palin to a Disney Movie, A 21-year-old girl puts her virginity up on eBay, exclusive premier of the hit God song 'Jesus is my Friend', and did the world end today? We'll let you know the answer to this and many more questions like, how do I hire a hitman? Coming up next, on The Crazy Pants No Pants Show

9/09/08. 28 mins. Don't interrupt me. I just ate Chinese food and the MSG is making me shake. 

9/08/08. 33 mins. Admitting an addiction to sex is comparable to suggesting a thirsty person is addicted to water. Boo.

9/05/08. 16 mins. A Special Friday night edition of CPNP Radio. Tonight's topics: Big things, Vampires, McCain, what the hell is wrong with Aubrey O'Day's face, and many other things. 

9/04/08. 20 mins. I was way too high last night to fly that plane. Follow me, people. I will lead you to the promise land. Get the lead out.  

9/03/08. 20 mins I don't know what happened tonight. You have to hear it to believe it. This show reminds me of things that are always the best things in the world.

9/02/08. 26 mins. Everyone is talking about Palin and her troubles. So, let's have a go. Plus, we'll scratch the surface of the best geek movies to raise your kids on, a weatherman that does the 69, and all the vampire news you can stick in your special place.

9/01/08. 28 mins. Palin is going to be a GILF.  

8/27/08. 26 mins. I want to tell you all about the world. And maybe even add in a little crazy pants. Smell me?  

8/26/08. 25 mins. This whole show is about sex. 

8/25/08. 18 mins. Who are you going to vote for? Don't be a baby. Tell me. And then I'll tell everyone else. And then make fun of you. Holy homo things?

It's happy fun day Monday. And you know what that means. We will bring you all the latest developments. And I am introducing a new segment, Vampire News.

Health Care costs are through the roof, small businesses are closing at a record pace, average Americans are falling through the cracks. And there won't we a new episode of Lost for, like, six months. Who the f*ck is in charge? Time to rig another election.

And that's not even the question of the day folks. Tell that to the 97% of your DNA you share with chimps. This show is experiment with Political Talk Radio. Not really a comedy. I'm not sure if I picked a side. But I sound like I know what I'm saying. 

Religion is ruining certain professions. But it makes the world a lot more fun. We will discuss how the adult video industry is affecting the economy and the American dollar in foreign markets. Titties.

I'm getting tired of every friggin' political email my parents keep sending me. Why do I read them right before bed? They always give me indigestion. I just found out that there is a 4% chance the I am my own biological father. 4%.

This show sucks donkey balls. And not the good kind. The other kind. 

I'm sorry, Miss Jackson. I am for real. I want the Olympic girls to do their gymnastics on my face. But, only the legal ones. For tax purposes.

8/14/08. 33 mins. Biggie Biggie Bigfoot can't you see, sometimes your balls just hypnotize me. Oh my titties. Get the lead out. This is the greatest discovery since Quentin Tarantino rediscovered John Travolta. And then he went away again. 

Somebody has to do something about the weather. Who makes the weather these days? Is it the same guy that picked the names of Santa's reindeer? Because that dude is whack dice.

Let's just call him your face. Thank you for making last night's show the most discussed podcast in the history of alien technology. Why do I pay for a cell phone? I'm still going to die someday.

Winnie Cooper sounds like Mini Cooper. And Harrison Ford belongs in a museum. This is the worst show I've ever been a part of.

Cheese is a weird thing if you really think about it. Just think about it. Pretend I have never heard of cheese before. Now, explain it to me. Tough, isn't it?

Let's talk about Mormons. Quickly, before they get here. And, I got a bone to pick with our world. What's going to happen when the martians decide to take over? If we don't wise up and join as one, we're going to get stuck watching the paint dry. You smell me, dingleberry?

I've got a lot to say and a very limited time to say it. Here goes, I want you to want me. And I'm not just talking to Katie Holmes anymore. She's off my radar. I got a new get. So get with it. Got it? Get the word out, Carlos.

Imagine Al Pacino screaming this line: "You think I'm afraid of you???? Just cause you a life guard?????????

I haven't had a bowel movement in three days... and boy are my arms tired. Tune in tonight. We will cover everything from Citizen Kane to the International boycott of (fill in later). I have a PhD in ass kicking your face. I'm Mike Foolery.