FourFourWhoPod

Welcome to Four Four Who, where one person with semi-decent football knowledge attempts to teach another person with no football knowledge about football. Football. In our first episode, Charles shows just how precious little he knows about the game, Dan covers its long and enthralling history, and we talk about what to expect from the coming season.   

On the morning of the quarter finals (this is a very timely podcast), Dan attempts to teach Charles the rules of football, from handballs to the handing out possible drugs (we're looking at you, Hand of God). 

Delving deep into the stuff behind the pod's witty title. We talk tactics, formations, and why you wouldn't play two in the middle against three up front without a holding midfielder (or would you? Dunno). 

It's here. It's the big one. We talk a bit about leagues, then Charles discovers who he'll be supporting. Includes informed discussion of the new team and a look ahead to their opening fixture of the season. 

Charles gets his first taste of defeat after Southend's disappointing start to the season. How does it feel? Unpleasant, juding by the tactical analysis and terrifying team talk suggestions.

The Shrimpers get a point while Charles gets a lot of players’ names wrong. We also look ahead to the midweek Carabao Cup clash and learn some ‘fun’ Southend-based facts.

Three points at last. We discuss Charles' first win as a football fan while getting a bit philisophical about what any of it means. There's also a more fact-based look at upcoming fixtures, just to balance things out.

Despite being on his jollies, Charles briefly gives his opinions on Southend's most recent results while appealing for help to understand the game. Dan does nothing because he's not there.

Fight! Fight! Fight! We unpick the missed chances and scuffles after an eventful home loss to Charlton, on which Charles has a very hot take. The main man also gets a present to help him on his footballing journey.

After an eventful loss to Peterborough, we chat with a Posh fan about the game and The Shrimper's chances this season. Charles also claims everyone's been doing football wrong, which is an interesting shout...

We're back. Did you even notice we'd gone? After a week off due to illness (and a delay due to technical failure), we discuss two weeks-worth of Shrimper results. There's also a lot of chat about geese, for some reason...

After nearly snatching defeat from the jaws of victory, we chat about the Shrimpers' hanging on for a win. There's some fairly erratic talk about crests as well. At least it's vaguely football-related, eh?

Well, what a classic. We briefly touch on what was a dire draw that yeilded two shots on target the entire game. TWO. There's also a fairly depressing summation of modern football, to cap off the positive mood. Enjoy.

Chalk another win up for The Shrimpers (discounting the Checkatrade Trophy, no one gives a shit). With the table looking pretty rosy, Charles gets all mathematical with stats and things. We also go on a hefty nickname tangent, obviously. 

It's a loss out of the blue (geddit, Coventry play in blue) for The Shrimpers, and Charles isn't happy. We talk average league performances and accidentally cross-promote a lot of other podcasts that are probably funnier than this one.  

*Southend in inconsistent form shocker* Nah, not really, that's the joke. We talk a storming Walsall win and a disappointing Sunderland defeat. Charles demonstrates his hipster music nerd credentials, to the surprise of literally no one.

We're five months into Charles' footballing quest, so just how much has he learned about the beautiful game? We put his acquired knowledge to the test in some carefully-sculpted content. 

Go on then, which year was Zinedine Zidane on the cover of FIFA? Charles ponders such questions, as well as how you end up drawing at home to Crawley, in another tangent-filled odyssey through ropey football knowledge.

A third straight league loss and another red card; Charles is unimpressed, but not more so than Powelly. He looks for a reaction in the Crawley replay, even offering up a prayer to Shrimp Christ for help. Yeah, this one got weird.

Some football happened, Powelly's cross again and we talk about it briefly. But this week is undoubtedly all about the best quiz ever to grace recorded sound. Fact. You can thank Charles later.

After a mixed bag of a week, we reflect on what's been a middling season so far for The Shrimpers. But, more importantly, Charles busts out another spectacular quiz and hilarity ensues.

After a predictable loss to Portsmouth, we contemplate the sting of repeated disappointment. Speaking of repeated disappointment, Dan introduces a new feature, and Charles shows off his quizmaster skills once again. This one's a doozy for 90s cartoon fans.

Happy 2019 and all that. Good Christmas? Great. Now that's out the way, we review Southend's festive results and kick 2019 off with a cracking quiz. Start as you mean to go on.

Well, at least you can call them consistent. We chat The Shrimpers' continually alternating form and discuss the wondergoal that made the most recent loss a little better. Charles reaches new quizzing heights.

What have we got this week? Bloody loads of goals, that's what. We chat about The Shrimpers' convincing win and discuss the nuances of the transfer market. There's a quiz as well, obviously.

This is the bit where we usually talk about Southend's piss-taking form. Seriously, we can't even be bothered to write a fresh intro for it any more. You can hear talk of that, referees, and a fun little feature in this week's episode.

Breaking news - Southend Utd drew a match. Thank god for that. We talk about the result, sure, but not nearly as much as we talk about cereal. Looots of different types of cereal. Why, you ask? Because why the hell not. You're welcome.

After The Shrimpers' weekend heroics, we discuss whether we're seeing a new trend forming - the not winning trend. We also discover that there's fuck all interesting in Accrington, and Michael Mann should be ashamed of himself.

Seriously, what are we supposed to say? It's another Southend draw, another hollow comment on consistent inconcistency etc. etc. Yawn. What you REALLY want to hear is Charles make up Sunday League team names. And you, good people, are in luck.

For our 30th episode, we thought we'd do something really special. Something commemorative. But instead we talk the usual bollocks about Southend and go incredibly off topic. There's also a vaguely offensive quiz. You wouldn't have it any other way...

As the business end of the season approaches, things could soon be getting serious for Southend after yet another draw. Luckily, even after nine months as a 'fan', Charles isn't that fussed - we talk being non-plussed by football and do another quiz.

It's all looking a bit bloody grim for The Shrimpers. No win in 10 and one place outside the relegation zone makes for a pretty shit time. We pick apart the latest loss, look ahead with endless optimism at the season run-in and long for simpler, Tony Robinson-filled times.

Well, there's nothing like your episode being out of date before you even post it. We talk about another loss that cost the Shrimpers' manager his job on Tuesday afternoon, and look ahead to the run-in that could (will definitely) mean serious trouble. What a week.

Oh dear. New manager, same problems. After a week off we examine another loss for new boss Kevin Bond. Surely the Shrimpers can't go down? One thing's for certain - we play a silly quiz.

Full disclosure - we're a bit hungover in this episode. But we still offer our thoughts on another Southend loss as the season draws to a close. That and chat rubbish about TV series. You're welcome.

They only went and bloody-well pulled it off, didn't they. After a cliffhanger of a game, Charles reflects on a first season as a football fan that pretty much had it all. Southend survive, he is converted. Here's to Series Two. 

WE ARE BACK, BABY. Four Four Who returns for a brand new season after what was a lovely little break. We've got more Southend, more quizzes and more nonsense for you than ever before. Ready for another 9 months of it? You bet.

Welp, there goes another one. We pick over the bones of Southend's second loss of the brand new season, and contemplate whether Bondy's time might be short already. In true style, there's a semi-offensive quiz, too.

Three episodes into the new season and we're already running out of funny ways to talk about Southend's ineptitude. We give it a good go though. And Charles excels himself in the weekly quiz.

Argh, when will the misery end? Southend manage to stuff up a seemingly certain victory, meaning Charles must try and fathom just what went wrong once again. We also indulge in somewhat melancholic Bondy-themed trivia after his frank post-match thoughts. Poor bloke.

Unsurprisingly, it's another Shrimpers defeat. Somewhat more surprisingly, Kevin Bond is still in a job. Go figure. We contemplate how long this pain may last, and Charles makes a bold prediction ahead of Leasing.com Cup action.

Ding dong, Bondy's gone. It's been a drawn-out process, but we pick through the wreckage of Kevin's brief managerial reign and see whether this season is actually salvageable. Dan gets pretty wound up about Pick 'n' Mix as well.

It's been nearly a month since the last episode, but little seems to have changed for the Shrimpers. We discuss the  long-awaited first win of the season, candidates for Bondy's vacated throne, and ask just how many Cornettos is too many. 

We've finally succumbed to the doom and gloom, folks. Another disappointing loss leaves Charles contemplating the point of it (football) all. And with no manager on the horizon, we wonder when all this hurt will stop. There is a quiz, though. Every cloud.

Getting spanked by your direct relegation rivals should be a sobering experience. But we're well past that, aren't we. So much so that we talk about everything but Southend in this episode, including a 'fascinating' look at derbies.

With a point in the bag and the arrival of a new manager imminent, things are looking a bit rosier all round this week. We take a look at boss-in-waiting Sol Campbell's credentials, and wonder whether his arrival will turn things around. One can dream.

There's certainly been a lot going on at Roots Hall this week. After Sol(uable) Campbell arrived in time to see the Shrimpers' Tuesday annihilation, Charles ponders how long the new manager's grace period will last. There's also a Hallowe'en theme, where the only thing scary is the comedy.

With Captain Brexit's men only just losing away at Sunderland, things may actually be turning a corner at Southend. That's what Charles is telling himself, anyway. Elsewhere, he reminisces about James Bond off of the 90s and the criminal miscasting or Robert Carlyle.  *Apologies for last week's sound gremlins, these have now been fixed.*

Southend face lower-league opposition in the FA Cup and lose. Literally no one is surprised. Charles tries to find SOMETHING interesting to talk about in the midst of all the gloom. When will it end? Meanwhile, Dan tries his hand at being quizmaster for the week.

My, isn't it nice going into a weekend knowing Southend can't lose? After week off from the league, Charles wonders whether the mid-week Leasing.com victory is enough cause for optimism. Dan joins in the chat with (gentleman's) relish.

Southend lost another game of football in what's now starting to feel like a parody season. We chat about other hopeless teams in vain hopes of consolation, and look ahead to CHARLES' FIRST EVER MATCH, coming very soon.  

No fixture for Southend means a stress-free weekend. But, next week everything changes - we preview Charles' first ever game, against Bristol Rovers on Saturday. What can he expect? What happens with replays? How much can he insult the players? All good questions.

Well, it had everything, didn't it. But unfortunately for Charles, his first game had neither a competent Shrimpers performance (or an an acceptable outside temperature). We reflect on a match that may have Sol on the brink already.

In a must-win game Southend, somewhat predictably, lost - what does it mean for their already tattered season? Charles contemplates just how much lower they could go, and looks ahead to what's needed in the January window. Hint: a miracle.

Happy New Year, one and all. We welcome 2020 with 'analysis' of Southend's latest result - a point at Wimbledon. There's also some reflection on the decade past and, of course, a quiz. Feels like home.

Another point on the board for Sol's shrimpy boys. A much-needed distraction after a rough week. Unpaid players, strike threats - what's going on down in Southend? Charles gives his thoughts.

Chalk a 'W' up for the Shrimpers, 'cos they've finally got three points on the board. We know, incredible. Charles ponders whether the revival starts now in a truncated episode (he wasn't well, bless him).

After a pretty devastating transfer window, the Shrimpers notch another win. How, you ask? Good question, and one Charles ponders in great detail. We chat other great escapes and train etiquette, because it's important.

It was nice while it lasted. Southend return to familiar territory with a defeat so Charles analyses (no, really - genuinely analyses) how the season could pan out. Fireman Sam also gets a shout out.

Pshhh, what can you say? Not a lot as it turns out. Another loss means Charles turns to anything but football for this week's entertainment. TV series, Hugh Laurie, inclement weather - literally anything but football.

Turns out the best way to get into a pomegranate is to cut it into quarters from the top. Who knew? That's just one of the top fruit tips from this week's attempt to avoid talking about Southend losing again. Dammit.

This week's hot topic is television series once again. That and the various merits of US-based comedy. In footballing terms we chat chants aaaaand, of course, Southend's latest defeat. Unfortunately, it has to be done.

Just a short one this week folks, some technical hitches cut the convo short. BUT, we do briefly get to chat about a Southend WIN. We know! Probably what broke things, but it happened. 

This is a bit fucking nuts, isn't it? We may be confined to our homes but the pod doesn't stop - join us for loose rambles, social observations and, of course, a quiz. Remain indoors.

Day 6,248 in quarantine and we thought it high time for another pod. There's nothing to talk about of course, so strap in for a loooooad of waffle. Including the usual Netflix chat and swearing at work.

The season has finally concluded and so has the Four Four Who podcast. After nearly two years following football, Charles calls time on his adventure. Has he enjoyed it? Absolutely. Is he a lifelong Shrimper? Hmm. Hear his final thoughts in the last ever episode.