Nothin' Means Nothin'

This week, the guys are live and in-person tackling their most thorough brackets episode yet! 16 different flavors of donut will be tasted, all from the same chain coffeehouse (hint: allegedly, an entire country is fueled by this company's wares), until one winner is crowned. Will it be a classic, like vanilla frosted or jelly, or will it be a cream-filled abomination like Bavarian cream? No matter the outcome, one thing is for certain: two people should NEVER split and consume 16 donuts in one sitting.

This week, the guys jump around more than a kangaroo wearing moon shoes, going from topic to topic with reckless abandon. Whether it's World War VII, finding things in caves, a Lord of the Rings death metal band, or something about reverse burgling, there's something for at least one person! So grab your favorite juice box and listen to some (alleged) stories on this week's NMN.

This week, the guys talk about western cultural expectations and the definition of "success" in relation to traditional milestones. Also included: picking a celebrity to narrate your life (complete with impromptu impressions), worst movie tropes, and funny car stories. Also also, something about crushing Craig's dreams. It's another episode full of Deus Ex Machina on NMN!

This week, the guys talk about the trials and tribulations of buying a new car and how completely not stressful it is. Also included: cutesy pet names for your significant other, wacky hotels, something about strongman and some impromptu clickbait titles for popular movies. So grab su cariño or tôr chérie and settle in for another romantic episode of NMN!    

It's time for some more brackets! This week, the guys take the finest cuisine that middle America has to offer and try to find the very best chain restaurant. Will it be a certain 'factory', known for its very particular brand of confections? Perhaps a TexMex place named for a hot pepper, with nothing spicy on the menu? Or will it be an underdog, like the place where you're always family or a steakhouse from down under? All of this and more on NMN!

This week, the guys invite Sam "Samwise" Eisenberg back onto the show to talk about his new business venture, Live Limitless! In this discussion, Sam gives us some tips about things like: how to manage your time, how to define "success" for each individual goal, or how to prioritize your values in your day-to-day life. We know we usually utilize our B.S. in BS on NMN, but today, there's actually something of substance! Oh, and also included - virtual hugs, apps that should exist, and duck butts.

This week, the guys weigh the positives and negatives of homeopathic medicine. (No, really) Before that, though, Craig reads an essay that he wrote detailing all of the flaws of...this podcast...? Also, the music of Norway, movies that warrant a repeat viewing, and some oral lore involving bbq and an ancient prophecy. So grab your favorite physician and tell them you need a prescription for tomfoolery. If they opt for the generic brand, we'll see you right back here on NMN!

This week, the guys talk about how lockdowns have been causing people to re-evaluate their careers, relationships, goals and desires. That being said, you can also expect to hear about the pros and (mostly) cons of oregano oil, things that people would never expect our hosts to enjoy, placing characters from one movie into another one, and George's favorite fish. Oh, and lots about Rachmaninoff...kind of. Spoiler alert - don't believe the title! 

This week, the guys get zany (for a change) and talk about a whole bunch of nothing that means nothing. George ponders whether or not he could teach somebody to be Puerto Rican. Craig gets mad at George for not knowing his favorite wine. George romantically describes the value of a good cigar. Craig writes a screenplay for a German action movie. No matter what you're in the mood for, it's ein Ziegelstein zum Kopf on this week's installment on NMN!

This week, the guys get back to the brackets and narrow down the greatest Nintendo 64 games ever to grace our CRTVs with zero round edges. (Spoiler alert: the world's most famous plumber - no, not Bob Vila - might make an appearance...or five). Anthropomorphic bears with backpack-dwelling sidekicks, time-traveling elves in funny green hats, and some guy named Anthony Eagle or something, we've got it all. So sit down, strap in, and do a barrel roll while we take you to nostalgia town on NMN.

This week, the guys get nostalgic and nerdy (which is also the title of their forthcoming hip hop album) and talk about the good old days of Pokemon on the original Gameboy. Also included: the flaws of the Harry Potter house system, buying cars online, and an impromptu...power rangers...skit? ¯_(ツ)_/¯ we were all hopped up on GFuel, I don't know what to tell you. Anyway, grab your link cable and your worm light and meet us at recess - we've got a jacked lizard who needs to grow an extra set of arms.

This week, the guys go variety-show style and answer a few dozen rapid-fire questions. George's oddly accurate Louis Armstrong impression? Got it. A seamless segue from Hilary Duff to Coal Chamber? Right here. A spicy conversation about what Craig finds most attractive about George's girlfriend? You know it. Move over Carol Burnett! Singing, dancing, orange marmalade and ferrets, all in the same place for one night only on NMN.

This week, the guys talk about the Netflix-esque subscription model used for everything from movies and television, to books and games, and what effect it's had on how we, as a society, value our entertainment. Sound too much like a college thesis for your liking? Don't fret! By listening, you could learn, for instance, how to say "livin' the dream" in 10 different languages (seriously). Not into multilingual greetings? Fine, you uncultured swine - there's also plenty of bad words and low-brow humor. Enjoy!

On this bonus episode, relive every introduction from Season One! From Craig "Jack of at least one trade" O'Malley and Uncle Scrooge McMallard, enjoy 10+ minutes of all the usual BS and tomfoolery that kicks off (and continues throughout) every show, now for the first time in one, special collection. That's right, all of your favorites on 32 compact discs or 48 cassette tapes, now for the low, low price of (four installments of) 28.99 plus shipping and handling. But wait! Call in the next five minutes...   

This week, the guys tackle another bracket, this time pitting your (our) favorite classic rock bands head-to-head. That's right - high voices, guitar solos, and a whole lot of hair - and that's just the hosts! Also included: nursery rhymes, advertisements, and Craig attempts (and fails) to hit the high note while singing the greatest song of all time. Madness and tangents abound, as always, on NMN.

This week, the guys talk about small ways to improve your quality of life in a mostly-still-locked-down world. (Bonus fact: a recent poll found that listening to this podcast is recommended by 1 out of 1 dental assistants for maintaining a positive world-view). Also included: becoming the newest deity of a polytheistic pantheon, worst vacation destinations, and a bevy of out of date references. If nothing else, at least we've got good intentions...  

This week, the guys talk about things that people enjoy that they don't quite understand. Also, Craig learns a new word, George declares his love for deep voices, and someone called Christina Ambiguity keeps coming up in conversation. Get your weekly dose of NMN, part of this balanced breakfast. 

This week, the guys kick off Season 2 with a discussion about awesome drumming! Also included: joining the circus, sentient animals performing human jobs, and something about a porpoise. New season, same shenanigans. We're back!

This week, if the title didn't give it away, the guys bring on special guest John Tuosto! Topics include, but are not limited to: Gary Busey, marriage pacts, the word "ubiquitous", and way too many mentions about a certain pay-for-pics website. For our main topic, we discuss the impact of embracing the unfair nature of life, and how entitlement can be an unproductive mindset. Oh, and Stacie Orrico...again...obviously.

This week, the guys bring you the epic conclusion to the Disney  songs mega-bracket! That's right, sixteen of your favorites go head-to-head until one winner is crowned the best song ever cartoon-sung. And when we say "your" favorites we don't mean you, you; we mean more the collective you. Obviously, we can't guarantee your actual, personal favorite songs will be on the list, especially after the "Jingle Bells" fiasco. It's more a figure of speech, to convey that some songs you greatly enjoy could be on th

Do you like anthropomorphic animals? Are you enthralled by humans and or previously aforementioned animals bursting sporadically into song? Would you consider a story's potential unfulfilled if one or more of the protagonist's parents didn't die horrifically within the first 5 minutes? Then you're in luck! This week, 32 Disney songs become 16 as the guys look to declare a winner. Come back next week for the mysterious conclusion! Seriously, it hasn't even been recorded yet, we have no idea how it ends. 

This week, the guys ruminate on why people are their own harshest critics. Also included: some VERY NSFW content between 18:00 and 36:45 (aka skip this if we’re related), hide and seek as a professional sport, and George shares his...unique...opinions about art. If you thought we’d be holding back in 2021, think again! We’re not holding back, front, or to the sides. New Year, same nonsense, on Nothin Means Nothin.

This week, the guys put out a special, bite-sized edition of the podcast! This time, it’s all about New Year’s Resolutions; why we make them, how they can fail, and how to make sure yours will succeed. It’s not the best self-help you can buy, but it is completely free, so... Happy New Year from Nothin Means Nothin!

This week (again), the guys conclude their biggest brackets episode ever in Part 2! 32 Christmas songs have become 16 - and now it's time to decide which one is the best to ever be pa rum pum pum pummed. From the oldest song in recorded history, to the most memorable melody on the list, find out how your favorite did (or didn't) do. Oh, and we definitely didn't forget any songs. Or misunderstand any lyrics... Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays from Nothin Means Nothin!

Part 1 of 2! This week, the guys jump into their biggest brackets episode ever, as 32 Christmas songs go head-to-head in order to eventually crown one ultimate winner. That's right, thine eyes do not deceive you; this bracket is twice as big, twice as bold, twice as...long...as past installments. Find out who makes it out of round 1 this time, and look out for the conclusion in part 2, releasing Christmas Eve. Ho-ho-holy Schnikes, and Happy Holidays, from Nothin Means Nothin!

This week, the guys are even more all over the place than usual! From buffet etiquette, to naming a boat, to starting a hypothetical business, nothing has ever meant this much nothing. If you’ve got two hours and have ever wondered what it would be like to hear Kermit the Frog order food at a French restaurant, you’ve come to the right place...

This week, the guys aren't the guys at all! With George away due to an unfortunate incident involving a 4-iron, a cast-iron skillet, the iron giant and some irony, Craig enlists the help of his sister for an extra special episode. Tattoos, narcotics, former US Presidents, and maybe even some Christmas cheer - nothing is off limits when you put Albe next to a microphone. Hold on to your brain cells...this could get silly

This week, the guys tackle yet more brackets - and you know two former fat kids couldn't go too long without talking about some good old-fashioned fast food! Will the winner be a classic establishment, like the golden arches or the Pippi Longstocking wannabe? Perhaps a regional favorite, like those overly religious chicken-slingers, will win the day? Or is there a dark horse waiting in the wings? Mascots, slogans, and traditional American excess abound on this weeks episode of NMN!

This week, the guys tackle their September brackets two months late, narrowing down the best cartoon of the 1990’s. Will it be the kid with the oblong head? A cartoon duck of some description? Perhaps a couple of large, semiaquatic rodents who are perpetually displeased will steal the show? All of that and more on this week’s episode, where a baby’s gotta do what a baby’s gotta do.

This week, the guys design their own strongman competition. Also included: long-winded recipes, ridiculous product reviews and fancy whisky glasses. Batteries not included, some assembly required, your results may vary and not intended to cure, treat, or diagnose any disease.

This week, the guys jump right into it with another brackets episode, this time tackling favorite childhood board games. Will the winner be that gaggle of ravenous hippos whose appetite for marbles is all but insatiable? How about the game that teaches both amateur surgery AND how to develop an anxiety disorder? Or, perhaps it’s the game about having a crocodile with a toothache slam his reptilian hellscape of a mouth onto your hand over and over. All of these and more on this week’s installment of NMN!

This week, the guys talk about designing their own games, and then dive into if it’s really the thought that counts when giving gifts. Also, anime theme song lyrics, only eating the same meals every day forever, renaming animals, and the shortest fight in history. Hold on to your proverbial hats, it’s Rumspringa in NMN land...and even if you don’t like this one, it’s really the thought that counts.

This week, the guys talk about underrated experiences and the value of suffering. Better yet, there's also Ninja Warrior, Mochi, something about etymology, and contemplating what zoos would look like if aliens took over. So, just your run-of-the-mill episode, really. Walk-of-the-mill? Saunter-of-the-granary? It's an episode, at least, of some description. Your cardiovascular activity of choice may vary.

This week, the guys talk about relationship red flags and the importance of compromise. To avoid too much content of any real substance, there’s also ASMR beatboxing, ridiculous modes of transport, and developing professional wrestling personas. Hold on to your breakfasts, this one’s about to get sweet AND salty...and fatty, they’re usually fatty. Probably bitter, too. And umami, always a little bit umami. It’s like a cooking show, really, but with no cooking and more profanity. Maybe just listen to it.

This week, the guys talk about creating fake art, Bernie Sanders' dinosaur policy, and haunting a location for all of eternity. Also included: favorite childhood memories, another Superfight installment, and television channels that should, but don't exist. Are these podcasts getting longer and longer? Absolutely. The goal is to eventually have to put each one out across two VHS tapes a la Titanic. Oscars, here we come.

This week, the guys talk about life-altering events and how to move forward after losing a loved one. If that wasn't hilarious enough, we've got the hat to end all hats, living inside another person's head, and exploring some of the worst things to fill a burrito with. Annnnd filling the anchor spot in this metaphorical relay race of nonsense, we've got the debut of a brand new segment! Stay Tuned! Well, I mean, tune in and then stay tuned. 

This week, the brackets are back! The guys narrow down their favorite comedy movies of the last 30 years to find out which one reigns supreme. Will it be the fat guy in a little coat? Perhaps the nanny who must look like a yeti in that get-up? Or will Glen Coco do it again - which would, in fact, make five for him? Find out now! ...or whenever you'd like to find out. No pressure, really. 

This week, the guys go full-nerd and talk about video games that they've enjoyed over the years. Also included: 90’s dance songs, phobias, and gladiatorial combat. Also also, our fearless hosts create their very own holidays and they are...exactly as insane as you'd expect. Go Michigan!

This week, the guys talk about what keeps them up at night - but first, interesting pool attire, Star Wars, and choosing personal mascots. Also included: much talk about a certain 1960’s cartoon character, which may or may not be extravagant; excessive, even. 

This week, the guys discuss what they miss most about their 20's and what they're most happy to have left behind. Also, the pros and cons of controlling various elements, discussing new and "delicious" ice cream flavors, the worst places to be stuck, and the importance of being thorough when doing silly voice impressions.

This week, the guys are back at it again with the brackets, this time pitting breakfast cereals head-to-head to determine the best early-morning sustenance to ever grace our tables. Will it be Horatio Magellan Crunch's sugary, mouth-assaulting delicacy? Or Tony the Tiger's revitalized take on boring old corn flakes? Perhaps it's the concoction of a certain chocolate-loving vampire, who somehow attained a mid-level historical title of nobility? Could there possibly be any more hyphens in this description? All of this and more on this edition of Nothin Means Nothin!

This week, the guys delve deep into the strange and oft misunderstood world of ASMR; what is it, how does one get into it, and what is the appeal? Also discussed - celebrity aliases, fake health trends, and terrifying cartoons...plus, Craig continues to find obnoxious ways to say "dot com" 

This week, the guys talk about the biggest animal they feel like they could take down in a fight. Also, fashion icons, celebrity body-swaps, talking dogs, and replacing people with robots. Spoiler alert: it's podcast hosts. We're replacing podcast hosts with robots. 

This week, the guys talk about the most important factors in building a successful relationship...which is, admittedly, a bit rich coming from those two. Also discussed: furious elephants, activism, and what not to wear when visiting France. Not mentioned: the guys' insistence on writing podcast descriptions in third-person even though one of them (guess who) is clearly responsible.

This week, Craig makes George cry. Meanwhile, the guys talk about some of their wildest dating experiences, including George's magnum opus involving three strange women and gentleman bearing Chinese food. Seriously, you don't want to miss this one. Also included: seances, time-travel, and mouth-saxophone. Will the real Tameka, please stand up? 

This week, the guys tackle another bracket, this time narrowing down the best cooking herbs and spices. Also, war elephants, killer bunnies, and magic pens that do mostly horrible things. Just another week, really...

This week, the guys ex-pound (see what we did there?) upon a veritable cornucopia of wild ideas. A text message to the entire world. A secret hideout fit for the evilest of cartoon villains. Legal speeding, a lower drinking age, first time love, Chuck Knoblauch, and one unlucky Abuela. Strap in! When this thing hits 88 miles per hour, you're gonna see some serious...

This week, the guys discuss personal memories that still have an impact on their lives today. Also included: invisible women, more blaspheming about the Queen, and multiple minutes of George not understanding what exactly the phrase "text message" entails. Oh, and if your last name is Potts...well, let's just say don't count on these guys when your life is on the line. 

This week, the guys talk about some of their most embarrassing moments. Also included: a new breed of tree, a fancy Christmas party, an unfortunate text, and some obscure athletic endeavors. Not included: the word "magnanimous" 

The bracket is back! This week, the guys break down the 16 best American chocolate bars in an attempt to find the king of all candy. Just like choosing your favorite child, it's not easy, but there's obviously a correct answer. Other topics include: a replacement of words, a haunting to remember, and an impromptu monologue about underage drinking. There's no wrong way to eat a Reese's, but there is definitely a wrong way to eat a Butterfinger... 

This week, things go off the rails faster than Bruce Willis' train in Unbreakable. Fast food abominations, sexy names, hypothetical dictatorships, Stacie Orrico's "Stuck", it's all here. The guys also ruin a beloved childhood snack; after listening to this episode, there's no guarantee that those crackers will be smiling back.