Rant Room

Ranting for the sake of ranting, somehow. I found a meme page that pissed me off this morning, I'm burnt out, hungry and sick of the conditioning around being told that we should be obsessed with dating more than anything else.... what else is new?

Hey guys, welcome back to Rant Room

⚠️⚠️ Trigger warning: I'm going to be discussing disordered eating patterns such as binge eating in this episode, please feel free to skip if this is a triggering subject for you! ⚠️⚠️ Hey everyone, welcome back to Rant Room! Last week was Eating Disorder Awareness Week and it got me thinking about my own experiences with disordered eating patterns and body dysmorphia. I wanted to discuss what it can be like to live with hidden eating disorders in particular and how this can impact people, especially in the age of social media and how who we follow can play into our emotions without us even noticing it. Hence why I unfollowed a lot of people not too long ago and replaced them with a lot of accounts that spread more positivity and body neutrality across my Instagram feed, rather than every filter under the sun that makes me feel even worse about myself. Here are a few of my favourite accounts if you are looking for inspiration (especially with regards to ED recovery and body neutrality/body positivity.) @thewellful @bodyposipanda @bulimiacoach @i_weigh @antidietriotclub ...all amazing accounts that have helped me endlessly ❤ Hope you enjoy the episode!

Hey everyone! Welcome back to Rant Room. I wanted to talk about what it actually means to back off and calm down. Why is it so hard to do? How do you do it? The trick is sometimes as simple as this: knowing when you need to calm down. Like me, today. Have a good day and happy listening

Hi everyone! Recently I have been struggling a little... being cooped up in the house over lockdown 3.0 is really starting to mess with my head. A few weeks ago I had a really huge dip and was feeling very inadequate in comparison to people around me... so I recorded a few thoughts on this. I also included a few ideas about how to break out of inadequate feelings. I hope that somebody finds this relatable and it reassures them to know that they're not alone - it really helps to know that. Much love, happy listening and stay safe ❤

With Christmas around the corner, some of us might be planning to see our family (depending on Covid rules in different places), and some of us might not. But here's what to do if you are feeling worried about potentially dealing with toxic family over the holiday season...

Yeah. Me too. It sucks. And it's really hard. This doesn't just go for love, it goes for old friends and family, for places and people and maybe even for what normality used to be like BC (before Covid, ugh.) But you're not the only one, it's fine to miss people even if you feel as though you shouldn't. Even if you were the one who cut them out. Understand your reasoning, and realise that it's okay to experience missing someone, even if you feel as though you shouldn't.

Cultural values are a funny subject. They're so subjective. You're often led to believe that if you reject one aspect of your culture that you're banned from the rest of it. That's a bunch of crap. You can separate yourself from toxic family and toxic values while still embracing your culture - however impossible it seems.

Bit of a trigger warning on this episode for anyone who has been in a potentially dangerous situation on social media. This was a really difficult episode to record, probably the hardest one yet, because I've never talked about it until now, with anyone. When I was a teenager, social media was just starting to become a constant thing. It had been around for a number of years, but by the time I hit my teens, thanks to smart technology and things by a brand called Apple beginning with "i", social media was becoming more accessible than it had ever been before. Gone were the days of having to log into Facebook from your computer, or when 3G (!!!) was a thing in 2007 and every time we accidentally clicked on the Internet button on our brick phones we'd shit ourselves, because our parents would have a fucking fit when the phone bill arrived at the end of the month and go insane. (Nope, that one actually wasn't me!) In 2013, I made my first Instagram account shortly before my 16th birthday, and seven years on I still use it more than most social media apps. You can do so much more with it now - with most apps - than you ever could back then. I experimented with photo filters, used roughly 38 hashtags on each picture, posted cryptic emo quotes, and followed everyone who randomly liked my pictures. About a month after I made the account, a creep slid into my DMs (not at all uncommon in 2020, unfortunately), but this was a different type of creep, the worst type of Instagram creep that seven years later we are trained to look out for and avoid like crazy. But back then, with the accessibility of social media being so new, nobody was talking about this stuff, because it wasn't anywhere near as common as it is today. Safeguarding, stranger danger and all that is still so important, but social media introduced a whole different dimension to it, with online grooming becoming more prevalent all over the globe, which is exactly what happened to me at the age of 16. This was a really tough experience to go through, and it wasn't until earlier this year that I realised the impact and extent of what had happened to me. This is partly because I completely blocked it out and refused to acknowledge it, but also because I did some online safeguarding training during lockdown and it got me thinking deeply about this particular experience. For anyone who has been affected by anything similar, this might be triggering to listen to, so please feel free to skip this episode if you would wish, as I do talk about some difficult stuff. Here are some useful links that talk about online grooming and similar situations: https://www.childline.org.uk/info-advice/bullying-abuse-safety/online-mobile-safety/online-grooming/ and https://www.thinkuknow.co.uk/parents/articles/Online-grooming/

It's hard to cut things out. It's hard to cut people out, and to let people leave your life when you still care about them. But there's no use in keeping things around when they're not bringing anything to your life. Thinking about cutting out things that don't bring any value to your life - and knowing you need to cut them loose - is often more painful than the act itself.

Today's episode is all about being let down. How it feels, how to deal with it and move forward, and how to distance yourself from someone who has let you down. Most importantly, it discusses how to stop dwelling on these experiences and begin to move forward, without necessarily feeling the need to hate them, or trash talk them. (Although, sometimes we all need to let out a bit of trash talk every now and again, because sometimes, let's face it, people who shit on us do deserve it.) Hope this episode is helpful to anybody dealing with a situation where they feel let down by somebody. Happy listening ❤

Hey, hope you're all having a good weekend! I was meant to record this a bit earlier, but I've finally woken up from the mother of all naps and it's getting dark outside

*⚠️WARNING⚠️*: This episode contains references to some subjects that people may find upsetting. So... after graduating, like so many of us, I was skint and clueless about what to do next. I had a lot of choices to make, but I wasn't too fond of the idea of moving home this time last year. So I stayed in my uni city. But it turns out that your uni city looks VERY different when you subtract your student loan and add on a draining full time job and council tax. That's not even the half of it (literally

Hey all! How are you? Recently, I've been in a pretty reflective mood - I recently moved away to start my masters degree. Yesterday I shared a post on Facebook that said "If the version of you from five years ago could see you now, they'd be so proud - keep going." It got me thinking about who I was five or six years ago, and how different life is now. Almost a year ago, I actually found myself writing a letter to my 16/17 year old self, and reflecting on how much I've changed since then. It also got me thinking about where I would hope to be another five years from now, and what I'd like to have achieved by then. Self reflection is always a really positive attribute to have, and that's something I've only really considered in the past year or so - it really helps push us forward and keeps us going. Sometimes it's really motivating thinking about how far we've come over the years. Happy listening ❤

Hey, guys, welcome back to Rant Room! This is quite a short one because I am totally exhausted after a long drive home and a long day in general. Maybe even a long week. Today I took two pretty huge steps (not the kind that Fitbit records unfortunately, think I've hit my step target once since the beginning of September

Hey! Here is the second part of my "year out" podcast...what a whirlwind of a year and a half it's been. I've been out of education since May last year, and will be starting my masters on Tuesday! Very exciting, but also very scary

Hey, guys. I was going to continue with the Uni Series podcast tonight, but in light of recent events that have been in the news there was something really important that I felt I should discuss with you. As you might know if you're based in the UK/have access to the UK news, the tragic story of a 15 year old boy being shot on his way to school hit the headlines and breaking news on Monday morning. This horrific news really hit me hard, as I'm sure it did for many others - I grew up on the same estate that the shooting took place, and a few years ago even attended the same school. From first hand experience I can honestly say that the entire town is in shock. It's such a small, community friendly little area, and more than anything, I've always felt safe here, as have many - something like this would shock me even if it occurred in a big city, but to have it happen round the corner is insane. All my love and thoughts are with the boy and his family right now - nobody really knows much about his condition or about the shooter's arrest, aside from what has already been reported in the news. (If you haven't heard about it, Google "Kesgrave shooting". And if possible, try to avoid the articles from the Scum - shit, sorry, The "Sun". It's a tragic event that completely dominated the headlines all of Monday - it was surreal to see. And unfortunately, whenever there's a big tragedy like this, there are also a bunch of arseholes just waiting to throw the Islamophobia and racism cards and wave the EDL banner like a champ - such as the creatures I unfortunately encountered on my Twitter on Monday afternoon. This angered me deeply for two reasons - a) the focus should have been entirely on this poor boy and his condition, not on blaming POCs and religious people on NO GROUNDS WHATSOEVER. B) It was the absolute audacity that all this horrible stuff was being said in the wake of such a terrible event. C) The fact that whenever there's a report of a big criminal attack, the EDL are out and about instantly blaming everyone who isn't them in the wake of so-called patriotism. D) These assholes don't even do their research. They don't care about the victims or how to stop the crime - they care about blaming it on religion and ethnicity. Just fuck off. I'm absolutely not here for it. One racist Twitter turd actually had the audacity to @ me on Twitter trying to prove his point - when he couldn't even spell! The sad thing is, this was far from the only person tweeting stuff like this on Monday. Unfortunately, this isn't a unique situation. It's just another day for the EDL, and the focus isn't on the boy at the centre of this. The focus is never on how to help the victim, just about who to place the blame on. I'm so sick of it. Again, and most importantly, all my love and prayers are going to the boy who was hurt on Monday, and his family. Everybody is rooting for you, keep fighting ❤ I hope this episode brings clarity about how problematic discriminatory reactions to crime actually are, and why the focus needs to be on the justice system and supporting the many victims of these crimes.

Hey guys, welcome to season 3 of Rant Room, otherwise known as the depression nest

Ah, third year. My best year of uni by a long shot. Although it was arguably one of the most stressful periods of my life, it was definitely the best. I lived with a wonderful group of friends and spent many nights eating Chinese with my best friends in dressing gowns watching Friends and Waterloo Road - what else can we really ask for?! In this podcast, I discuss what it's really like to write a dissertation (and also what it's like to lose it three weeks before the deadline), why it's important to actually be interested in your dissertation topic, how to balance work life and university work, balancing other modules with your dissertation, being in an unhealthy relationship at uni, and how important it is to enjoy the third year in particular before things change - it's natural to hope things stay the same post graduation, but it's not often the case unfortunately

Hey guys, welcome to Episode 4 of Rant Room's Uni Edition! If you can't already tell, I am having a blast recording these

Wondering what your first year of uni will be like? Trying to relive your own? Are you nervous about uni? I'm here to provide some (ahem) kind of reassurance and tell you that however bad it may seem at times, you WILL get through it. I'll also take you through a list of things to avoid, including the following: - drinking when you're sad, Cactus Jacks (it's scum of the earth, especially the blue one), heels on nights out, pasta and gravy, shagging coursemates before the start of your course, spending copious amounts of money on takeaway, Tinder "adventures" in northern cities you have never been to before, and dodgy Instagram "recruiters". I'll also provide some advice on how to make the most of your first year of uni, including: why you shouldn't worry if your flatmates or the first person you meet doesn't become your lifelong best friend, why it is important to actually talk to your lecturers, and the importance of budgeting. Again, I hope you guys learn something from my stupidity... and well, if not, I hope you'll at least laugh at it

Hey guys, welcome to Episode 2 of Rant Room's Uni Edition! Today, I'm going to talk you through the ultimate uni checklist (um... I probably forgot something major so don't take this as gospel...) and explain why you shouldn't take your entire wardrobe to uni with you. Also, what is uni going to be like with COVID still lingering around like a nasty smell? Hmmm... I do wonder...

Hey guys, welcome to Season 2 of Rant Room! With uni season just around the corner and thousands of new students about to start their new adventures (including me, although does it count if you've done it all before!?) I thought now would be a great time to record a few podcasts about what it's like to go off to uni - particularly for the students who are going to experience a socially distant Freshers' Week. Hmmm... I'm not sure I'd have coped - maybe it's a good thing I'm too old for that now! So, if you're just about to start uni, you're a returning student, nostalgic for your student days, or just want to hear me rant about my own student days... tune in! Happy listening ❤

Hey everyone

⚠️⚠️⚠️ TRIGGER WARNING ⚠️⚠️⚠️ This podcast contains references to self harm and mental health issues that may be distressing to some listeners - if this applies to you, it might be best to skip this one!... Hey guys, welcome to Episode 30 of Rant Room. In a few of my previous podcasts I have briefly touched upon the subject of self-harm, but I wanted to discuss it further in depth. This is a really important subject to me - both personally and professionally. I have struggled with self-harm techniques since childhood (when I was actually too young to realise what it was I was doing), so I recorded this podcast for anyone who feels similar, or is trying to learn more about self-harm and how it can impact mental health, personal and professional lives. To anyone who is going through this/has gone through it, just a quick reminder: DO NOT view yourself as weak - you are the complete opposite to that ❤

What does it mean to pick yourself up when you're down? Do we even realise when we're doing it, or what kind of resilience it shows?

This one is for anyone who struggles with insecurity issues or wants to understand somebody dealing with insecurities. Insecurities could relate to relationships (sex, cheating and trust issues in particular) bodies, self confidence, friendship, family, work life, physical and mental health... genuinely anything. The chances are, if a previous experience has impacted you somewhat negatively, it can easily turn into an insecurity. Insecurities are a normal part of life, so there isn't any need to beat ourselves up about them - we've all got them. But do we all know how to handle them? I know I don't quite know, but I'm getting there... I hope this helps anybody struggling to understand feelings of insecurity. Happy listening ❤

What's it actually like to live life always thinking of the worst case scenario? How does a negative attitude impact your general thought process and decisions? In this podcast, I talk about my own experiences with worst case scenarios and negative thinking.

Ah... overthinking, the bane of my existence. Here's a little window into the brain of a seasoned overthinker, and ways to help deal with it.

Hey guys - welcome to episode 25 of Rant Room! Today's episode is all about the practice of self-respect, closely linked to confidence, self esteem, self love and feelings of worth. Most of the time when we find ourselves lacking self-respect we don't even notice it ourselves for a long time. In this episode I discuss attributes of self-respect, what it means, how to get it and how to hold onto it. Happy listening and have an amazing day ❤

⚠️TRIGGER WARNING - SENSITIVE CONTENT THAT MAY BE TRIGGERING - includes references to domestic violence & abusive relationships. ⚠️ Hey guys! Hope all is well and that you guys are having a good Monday. I've been working on this episode for a while (it is by far the longest podcast I have recorded!) and this is about a subject that I know has sadly affected many people out there, not just me. So many of us have come from difficult family backgrounds, often with deadbeat parents who are no longer involved in our lives (this could be a mum or a dad.) This podcast talks about my own personal struggle with a deadbeat father who I have not spoken to since the age of 15, and how this has shaped/prepared me for adult life. This is a really difficult thing for me to discuss, and it may drag up memories for those of you who have been through anything similar. I am currently on my own mental health journey of working on myself and changing my attitudes to the world around me, and to do that I had to get right to the root cause of my feelings, emotions and behaviour. For that, I had to dig deep and uncover some uncomfortable truths about a scarring relationship (or lack thereof) with my father, and how this has influenced me as a person. I hope this is helpful to anybody who has been through anything similar. It was helpful for me just to get it out and hear everything being said, to be fair. If you have experienced this, or anything similar, I am genuinely so sorry - just know that it was not your fault and they are to blame and are the ones missing out - not you. ❤

Hey guys... massive honesty rant tonight I'm afraid

Hey! I know I don't normally release two podcasts on the same day, but this one wouldn't leave my head. So... results day. Bit of a shit show, isn't it? That's an understatement. Today in the UK, sixth form pupils all over England, Wales and Northern Ireland waited anxiously for their A-level results (Scotland's were released last week.) As you'll probably know if you're living in the UK, pupils who were set to take exams during summer 2020 had their exams cancelled earlier this year, and it was announced by the government during lockdown that the grades were going to be calculated using an algorithm, mock results, as well as recommendations of exam boards and teachers nationwide. Unfortunately, the education secretary's plan has spectacularly unravelled, with 40% of pupils being downgraded in at least one subject at the eleventh hour, and hundreds calling for an appeal as their post 18-plans hang in the balance due to an unfair so-called grading system. My heart goes out to all of you guys who have been affected by this, as well as the GCSE students still awaiting results. I sat my own A-levels four years ago and I honestly cannot believe the injustice of this. But for those affected and anyone who might be - I just wanted to say that your grades are NOT a true reflection of you, your intelligence or personality.

If you find yourself beating yourself up and asking yourself a constant stream of questions such as: "Why is she so much prettier/skinnier/funnier than me?" "Why am I not good enough?" "Why am I not in a relationship?" "Why don't I have a house/good job/family?" Why???? ... then this one is for you. I struggle massively with comparing myself to other people to a point where it is insecure and unhealthy - in every aspect of my life. You wouldn't treat your worst enemy like that, would you, so why would you treat yourself and put yourself down like that? You are incomparable to other people. I need to take my own advice...

Have you ever badly needed to move on from something? Most likely. A place, a person, a memory. I get where you're coming from. It can be really hard to know when to move on and what to do next, but that doesn't mean it's not the right choice. If something is not bringing you joy and happiness anymore, then walk away. You don't deserve to be this sad over something you have no control over - focus on bettering the other aspects of your life and letting things go.

"No". A two letter word, short but sweet. Well, okay, maybe not so sweet, but it gets the point across. One of the easiest words to pronounce in the English Language, yet one of the hardest words to say. Well, start saying it. Respect your boundaries and say no to anything that doesn't make you happy - family, religion, relationships, sex, work, anything. Live life for yourself rather than people pleasing - they'll only be pleased for about three seconds before they find something else to moan about! Happy listening ❤ if you're liking the podcast leave me a voice note on Anchor or a message on Instagram: @shaiandawkward

*⚠️DISCLAIMER - CONTAINS SENSITIVE CONTENT THAT MAY BE UPSETTING/TRIGGERING. ⚠️Body Dysmorphic Disorder (BDD) is a recognised mental health condition that both men and women suffer from, relating to negative ideologies of their body image. It commonly affects teenagers and young adults, but can affect people of any age. This subject is close to my heart, having dealt with traits of BDD since the age of 9. Whether you have been diagnosed officially or simply have traits of BDD, it can still have a huge, profound effect on your life, relationships, work, mental health, physical health, self-esteem and self-confidence. In terms of mental health, BDD or traits of BDD can often lead to self-harm, anxiety, depression, or suicidal thoughts. There are a number of different BDD triggers for everyone which vary from person to person, but most commonly triggers include: weighing scales, clothes sizes and shops, changing rooms, mirrors, etc. BDD can be caused by genetic factors, often being diagnosed in those who are related to people suffering from conditions such as depression, and can also be caused by mental triggers such as past bullying and abuse either in school, work, or at home with family. For more information on BDD please read this: https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/body-dysmorphic-disorder/symptoms-causes/syc-20353938 Thank you so much for listening. This episode is truly very close to my heart and if you are suffering/have suffered from BDD, an eating disorder or anything similar, my heart goes out to you because it is one of the hardest things to go through. Thanks for listening and have an amazing day ❤

Do you ever find yourself completely overreacting to a scenario you've practically conjured up in your own head? Or maybe you struggle to contain your reactions to certain events in your life - even if you keep the negative emotions to yourself (which is probably worse than sharing them.) Tune in to find out how I deal with this... thanks for listening and have the best day ❤

Hey all

Independence...dependence... and no, I don't mean independent and dependent variables. There was a reason that I failed all my science GCSEs and A level psychology (because I didn't know the difference!) Dependence can be a tricky subject for many of us, and is something needed to form bonds and support others/be supported... but is there such a thing as being TOO dependent? Yes there is - codependency. Here are a few words about codependency, how to avoid it and take some steps to living a fuller, more independent life for you instead of those around you. Happy listening and have the best day! ❤ please leave a voice note via Anchor or contact me on Instagram!

Hey there! So, for today's episode I wanted to talk a little bit about how living in a toxic environment can destroy our wellbeing, or slowly chip away at it. This is a particularly relevant topic at the minute, with assorted lockdowns going on due to Covid - what's going on behind closed (or possibly locked) doors? Family, housemates, friends, relationships...yourself...any environment can be a toxic environment. Leave me a voice note on Anchor or follow/DM my Instagram @shaiandawkward

"Just trust yourself!" Yeah, right. If only it were that easy... In episode 13 of Rant Room, I talk about the difficulties of self trust and how this goes hand in hand with our interpersonal relationships, self-confidence, self-care and self-love (or maybe lack thereof.) It is a long road to self trust and we're all just trying to work it out, but in order to get there, you'll probably have to dig deep. It may not be too pretty, but it'll be worth it in the end.

Trust is a funny thing. We are born with it, but it is so easily broken, often by those who are supposed to love and care for us most of all - in relationships, families and friendships. But what happens when trust is broken? Is it shattered all at once, or is it chipped away, little by little, by a range of different people? In the first half of this podcast I discuss the people we put our trust in - some from before birth - and how trust can slowly be broken and ruined over the course of time. How does this happen? Is it possible to reclaim? That's up to you...

Welcome to Episode 11 of Rant Room! This one is all about how self-esteem and self-confidence are difficult practices, and can rise and fall according to other factors in your life.

If you're frequently active on social media, you've probably had someone try to recruit you at least once. Some of these companies may be more legitimate than others. Some of them may not be legit at all... This is the story of 19 year old Shy getting "recruited", or "scammed", in other words, during her first year of university. This tale receives ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ for embarrassment and stupidity... but hopefully by sharing my own experience, that may be enough to stop another unsuspecting but well-meaning idiot in their tracks. I can't stress enough... PLEASE READ THE FINE PRINT!!! If you want to read more about this fancy Crazy Redd type scam (Animal Crossing players will get the reference), click on this link. https://www.choose.co.uk/news/mobile-phone-contract-scam-students.html Thank you guys for listening, and if you want to get in touch, leave me a voice note on Anchor or follow me on Instagram @shaiandawkward . Happy listening ❤ (well, not so happy in this case, but you know...)

We've all crossed paths with at least one toxic person in the dating arena... or, you know, ten...

This podcast episode is designed for anyone who suffers/has suffered in the past from anxiety, regardless of diagnosis. Here are a few tips and tricks that I have used to lessen the everyday pressure of living with an anxiety disorder. Wordpress: shaiandawkward141.com, Instagram: shaiandawkward, Twitter: shaiandawkward

So... most of us are finally out of lockdown, but the effects of the coronavirus pandemic still linger in day to day life. Especially in terms of mental health, work and social interaction. How has it affected you?

Have you ever found yourself stuck in a certain chapter of life that you know needs to be closed, but can't seem to motivate yourself to close it? A draining job, toxic relationship, a place that has now become haunted by the past? Me too. Here's how to go about changing it for the better ❤

Hey, welcome to Episode 5 of Rant Room! This is part 2 of the Body Positivity podcast. You might actually be able to hear me a bit clearer this time since I'm not driving

Hey everyone! I'm in the car, so apologies for the running driving commentary