Swinger Diaries

For every beginning there is and end, even in podcasting. Recording this show has been an awesome adventure that has totally enriched our lives. After all the time and energy we've invested over the years, we could not be more proud of the Swinger Diaries Podcast. In this episode, we not only say our last goodbyes but shamelessly take a bow by reading some of the heartwarming messages that listeners wrote to us relaying their stories, thank you’s and compliments. We are floored by the outpouring of support and well-wishes and we’re honored to know that we've affected, and indirectly improved, so many lives. As proud as we are that the show has helped so many listeners, we are equally touched by the comments sent in by other content creators. Its absolutely humbling to hear the way our podcast seems to have had an impact on the genre. Thank you all for listening. Its been a true privilege to be ambassadors of a lifestyle that has given so much to us. Its been an complete joy to remember our stories, and a deep honor to be able to “pay it forward to the all the curious, skeptical and nervous future swingers out there”. We hope we've done justice to this amazing lifestyle but in the end, this journey is, at its core, about us and our relationship so more than anything, the message we hope our diary leaves with you is that this lifestyle has immeasurably benefited our relationship. More than ever we are, desperately, hopelessly, passionately, and deeply in love with each other.  Thank you for listening. We hope to meet you all someday as we continue to explore and enjoy this fascinating, challenging, wonder-filled, exhilarating, swinging lifestyle. -Penn and Paige

Just like swinging, podcasting has been an awesome adventure for us. The two hobbies are so intertwined and have a lot of similarities. Podcasting has allowed us to form our opinions about one of our favorite topics, the swinging lifestyle; reconnect as a couple in remembering our experiences; and make a network of fantastic friends. As we near the end of our podcast journey, we thought it would be fun exercise to offer some of the insights we have gleaned from the adventure of podcasting and, in the spirit of our show, pay it forward to others who might aspire to share their stories and observations like we have done over the past 6 plus years. Its mind blowing and humbling to realize the way our simple voices have so dramatically affected peoples lives and we invite all of you to share your stories with the world too.

If you've just discovered Swinger Diaries, stop right here. Do not listen to this episode because this one is nothing like our previous shows. As we begin to wind up the podcast, on this episode we indulge ourselves in a trip down memory lane to explore the evolution of the show itself.  Using clips from previous episodes and our memories about our attitudes and inspirations, we discuss some of the important milestones in the podcast that shaped Swinger Diaries into what it has become. In this show we remember the high points and low points of our adventures in recording our stories over the past 6 years. If you're a longtime listener, you might enjoy hearing some of the backstories as we pull the curtain and reveal our insecurities, embarrassments, triumphs and points of pride in our podcasting journey. In the spirit of full disclosure, we even read our one and only hate mail.

If you've been waiting to hear what our big announcement is then you’ve found the right episode, but before we tell you, you'll have you endure a brief recap of our recent trip to Desire during the pandemic and our usual musings around three swinger related topics. In the Best of the Lifestyle segment we declare the best toy to bring to a playtime encounter, even if the answer seems pretty obvious. Our question for this show is about the things that we and our listeners once told ourselves we would never do but now engage in comfortably. The listener question this time is about wealth disparities in the lifestyle and whether or not they affect affluent swingers’ potential for making strong connections for play. All three topics are part of this diary story as we remember a fantastic connection made with a sweet, genuine, fun, intriguing, thoughtful and sexy couple while at Desire. Throughout our time with them, our bond and trust grew allowing all of us to try out some new toys in the bedroom and even engage in something which, at first, they thought they wouldn't ever want to do with another couple.

In this episode, we were pretty loose and relaxed after Paige had a couple of drinks and there was some considerable editing needed.  After a little bit of soap box grandstanding and quite a lot of giggling, we did something that we absolutely hate hearing other podcasts do… tease about what’s to come. Without being too dramatic, the next episode of the Swinger Diaries Podcasts will include the biggest announcement we’ve ever made on the show. If you are a long time listener or even if you’ve just found this podcast and you have any interest in the future of Swinger Diaries, you will want to tune in to Episode 93.While we had some great listener advice about the best condom to use for swinging encounters, and we had an interesting conversation about swinger cards and whether they are thoughtful or just creepy, by far the most spirited input from our audience came to us in response to our listener’s question out being TOO hot and sexy in the lifestyle. Could being a “10” actually limit your play opportunities?Super hot swingers can be very intimidating to approach. Nobody wants to waste their precious time nor others’ time either and absolutely nobody wants to be rejected. At Naughty in Nawlins a few years ago we met up with a couple that we thought was way out of our league. We would never have considered hitting on them. We were blown away and completely flattered when they asked us if we were interested in playing. Boy, are we lucky that they did because the experience with these fantastic lovers was erotic, sensual, rare and amazing.

Having just gone through some pretty intense and time consuming life changes, our schedule has definitely been very full lately but we’re never too busy to miss making our monthly entry into our journal. Luckily, with the obligations of our growing family and our new home now settled, we can get back to enjoying our time together. We are eagerly looking forward to some fun dates and a few exciting trips to Mexico headed our way in the coming months. This episode feels like it is heavily influenced by questions about the grey areas of merging your vanilla life and your swinging life. In the Best of the Lifestyle segment, we talk about the best way to put the names of your friends into your contacts list on your cell phone. Then we and our listeners discuss our question about the transitional moments when we each believe we became swingers. Lastly we muse over a listener question about when its ok to become Facebook friends with your lifestyle friends. Tricky questions for sure. One of the original motivations of this podcast was that it would allow us to chronicle our journey and keep a diary of our adventures. The story told in this episode is recounted here so that forever we will have the recording of our memory of the weekend that we became swingers.

Thankfully, the world is ever-so-slowly seeing the very first hints of "normal" as the county's reasonable minds begin to put the true risks of the virus into perspective and realize that for most people, COVID may not be quite as statistically deadly as the sensationalized media has portrayed… but panic, fear and isolation sure can be. As a result, many children, including ours, are returning to school. While we love having them back to developing their minds and their friendships, in the dorms and in the classrooms, we don’t love all the furniture moving we’ve been doing lately. Fall is always a busy family season for us. Three challenging questions highlight this episode. We begin by exploring the topic of the best nude beaches in America. Then we challenge listeners with a question about being a swinger and actually still being a good parent. Is that really possible? Finally, we poke around at a great philosophical inquiry from a listener asking if swingers consider themselves to be part of the LGBTQ+ community. With most large events canceled or postponed, like many others we have been refining our swinging adventures and prefer to spend quality time with our most trusted and intimate lifestyle friends. This episode’s Diary Story is about a recent weekend with very special people and the way that the deep friendship between Paige and her “bi-situational” girlfriend, sparked a particularly hot girl/girl play experience. 

Like so many things in the summer of 2020, our recently planned excursion through the West was changed at the last minute because of pandemic closures and the social chaos. We still had a great trip, standing in 12 states in only 5 days, but it was an East Coast and Deep South path this time. We're proud to report that, in addition to making some great new friends and enjoying a lot of valuable reflection time together, we were able to check three more states off of our “Sex In All Fifty States Bucket List”. We never imagined that out podcast would grow as big as it has. Surpassing 1,000,000 downloads on Podbean this month shows that people really do enjoy our questions so, as always, we asked three new ones on this episode. In this show we talk about the best way for swingers to maintain and manicure their body hair. Then we discuss the authenticity of the sounds heard in group playrooms. Finally we hear from listeners about the prevalence and efficacy of ED and performance enhancing drugs in the lifestyle. Group playrooms are a wild scene. The sights, smells and sounds are many people’s fantasies come to life, but those environments also have their challenges. In this Diary Story we remember a chance meeting with a couple in a swinger’s, cruise ship playroom that was erotic and tantalizing… that is, until it surprisingly crossed a personal comfort boundary for us.

Since the Corona Virus continues to cause havoc, we are eagerly but cautiously planning our upcoming trip west to continue our bucket list quest to have sex in all 50 states. Luckily we have a lot of flexibility about where we should travel and we can adjust our destinations to take advantage of open economies, willing friends, and pretty weather. Three interesting topics are the heart of this episode. We have some interesting discussions and hear advice from listeners about the best online virtual chat platforms for swinger meetings. Then we have a lighthearted but needed conversation about chewing gum in lifestyle situations. Finally, we hear from listeners about why girl/girl play is so common among newbies. In this show’s Diary Story, we go way back to the very beginning, even before we were in the lifestyle to remember the events that began to awaken our curiosity about swinging. The memories we have are of weird, awkward, confusing situations but, like most newbies, they eventually became the building blocks of our swinging adventure.

As we finally see the distant light at the end of the Corona Virus tunnel, we lament the wasted months of productivity, personal growth, and life experiences. With all of this summer’s events cancelled or postponed, we refuse to wallow in limbo any longer, so in this episode we announce a grand new personal bucket list ambition that we will begin next month. We’re excited! Usually our job of recording this podcast is made easier by the flood of creative and insightful responses written in by our listeners, but not this time. Weirdly, our audience must be too busy watching Netflix because we got uncharacteristically few answers to our questions this month. So in this show we have to meander around without firm conclusions on the topics of the best lifestyle travel agency, whether or not swingers live double lives and the best number of guests to invite to a swinger house party. A few of years ago, we recorded a very long show (SD Episode 47) about the most grand and epic swinger vacation we have ever taken. In this recording, we remember that trip again but this time as a memory of our experiences with rare, dear friends who uniquely cross the bold firewall we’ve established between our lifestyle and vanilla lives. Listen as we offer a summary of the strengths and weakness of the travel agency and tour operators. One thing is for sure. It was the trip of a lifetime!

The worldwide lockdown is an uncomfortable and infuriating situation and we are not immune from its effects. With the loss of our business, our income, our long-awaited vacations, and our time together with friends, in this episode our frustration boils over a little bit. Three great questions are discussed on this month. We talk about the best lube to use for swinging encounters. Then we have an interesting discussion about how to break up with long-time playmates after the relationship has runs its course. Finally, tensions get high as we share out feelings about the pandemic and the rifts it has created among our swinging friends. Most notably, we get off on a tangent and rant about the implied role of podcasters in setting the tone and agenda as leaders of the community. We will definitely offend some people in this show. We consider ourselves traditional swingers. We like casual encounters with friends that sometimes include non-committal, sexual interactions. We are not polyamorous at all but, like all swingers, over the years we have made some really intimate deep connections. In this story, we remember how one such connection crossed the line for us and we recount the long ugly process of ending that powerfully special relationship.

Well, the world is upside down. That's for sure. In the midst of the COVID-19 quarantine orders, the swinging world, like most of the rest of society has come to a screeching halt. We recorded this episode with tears in our eyes for the loss of our long-awaited annual group trip to Desire. Now, we will just have have to wait until August to get naked and party with all of our friends. Let the new countdown begin. As a distraction form the mess on the news, in this episode our listeners provided us with pages of fantastic answers to our questions about what is the best food to eat if you anticipate play might be “on the table”, whether or not its a good idea to meet couples without seeing their face pics first, and why some people in the lifestyle indulge in drug use as part of their swinging encounters. Since we don’t use drugs and we, personally, would never meet a couple without seeing their pics first, we were challenged for a Dairy Story but then we remembered a pair of recent encounters on the outdoor rooftop hot tub beds at Desire and realized that the experiences we had on that trip taught us a lot about how conversely intimidating and yet sexy a “blind date” could be.

First, please excuse the terrible audio on this episode. We all know that podcasts are a free informational and entertainment medium but that doesn’t mean that podcast listeners aren’t entitled to decent, listenable sound. This episode is not up to our standards. We sincerely apologize, but upon learning of the recording problem, we just couldn’t scrap this show. It's too full of fantastic comments from listeners. The questions on this show blew up our email. Listeners provided a deluge of information and opinions about the best areas of North America for swinging fun; the top turn-offs for swingers; and a fascinating debate about whether small breasted women get more or less attention in the lifestyle. Not every lifestyle party, nor every Diary Story ends with a pile of panting, bleary-eyed, smiling, naked bodies. Not every encounter goes well. In this episode we remember an experience where we should have slowed down and listened to our own intuitions about the red flags and turn-offs that our play partners were giving us. In the end we paid a heavy price for our foolishness.

We're back from our unannounced getaway to Desire and it was amazing, as always. This time it was fun to go as ourselves and not worry about carrying the reputation and notoriety of "Penn and Paige" but we also took advantage of the opportunity to meet with the Desire staff and set up some of the logistics for our annual group trip which is only a few weeks away. Being with our sexy group at our favorite resort on the planet is going to make for an epic party! We know that a lot of podcasts broadly appeal to their audiences because they cover a range of sex positive topics and we appreciate that, but our show has always been about one subject first and foremost. Our show is about swinging. Here, in the Best of the the Lifestyle question, we discuss vibrators from a swingers perspective. Then we talk about techniques that experienced swingers use to encourage play to happen earlier in the evening. Lastly we tackle a listener question about women being "the gas" in the lifestyle. Ever heard of "Reverse Dating"? Neither had we, until we met a gorgeous couple that we just couldn't miss the opportunity to play with at Naughty in Nawlins. While we made a date for late afternoon play, the anticipation got the best of all of us and we found ourselves in bed with these special friends even before the scheduled time. Although the hot Louisiana sun was still shining brightly and the parade was going by on the street below, that afternoon the four of us made our own Bourbon Street memory.   

Our swinger mojo is coming back! After a few really sexy dates, a fun NYE club night at Trapeze in Ft. Lauderdale, and a last minute trip planned to Desire, we are past the fun family obligations of the holidays and ready to go back to the gym to get into tip top swinger shape for more adventures. As always, in this episode we begin with the Best of the Lifestyle and talk about the best way to meet the "true unicorn"; a classy, sexy, respectful, charming, single guy. Then we discuss our monthly question. This one is about the frequency of anal sex in swinging play. Lastly we try to answer a lister question about how to keep the sex hot with regular play partners. In all of our years of swinging, if Penn had to choose the single most exciting and intense five seconds of all of our playtimes, this would be it. On this show we remember an encounter with a hot, mysterious, single man which is forever burned into his memory. Its hard to understand why some moments rock your world and stay with you forever but this experience will forever be one of our favorite moments of our swinging journey.

As we mentioned on our last episode, recently, at the invitation of Dave and Andi from Double Date Nation, we joined a group of podcasters for a meet and greet event called Podcaster Shinanigans at Menages in Nashville. It was a real treat to have so many varied-style podcasters together in one place so, to memorialize the occasion, we all sat around with our microphones just before the club opened and attempted to record a huge joint show, but sadly, it was an epic fail. The next day it was discovered that the whole audio file was distorted and completely unusable. The conversation was fun and interesting with fantastic observations and opinions from Euphoria Chronicles, Our Naughty Escapades and Spiritual Swingers. It was disappointing to have lost it. We were so thankful for the hospitality of DDN and Menages, and so sad to have lost the insights that we had all recorded, that last week we made a return trip to Nashville and attempted to recreate just a little bit of the lost information and ideas. In this casual, unscripted recording, we and the founders of DDN took up the same prompt that was ill-fatedly discussed by our podcaster's group, "What's so great about lifestyle clubs?" In a format very different than our typical show, the four of us got comfortable on Dave and Andi's couch, poured some drinks, pushed record, and enjoyed a great evening of relaxed conversation. We hope you enjoy this impromptu bonus episode. Merry Christmas!

Every lifestyle career has ups and downs. It's common to go from being, on the prowl and  hungry for play, to being completely uninterested and wondering if there’s something wrong with you in only a short period of time. In this, our 5 year anniversary episode, we talk for a few minutes about our own journey and the way we’ve been riding the rollercoaster of swinging lately.  In this show, we discuss our Best of the Lifestyle question about where to go on a first swinging date with a couple and then we transition to a definition question about what it means to “ghost” somebody in the the swinging lifestyle. Lastly, we try to answer a listener question about the best resources to get regular STI testing. Since we are self admitted “ghosters” we had no shortage of memories for our Diary Story on this topic. In this episode, our journal entry is the memory of a club night where we ghosted on one very fun couple that we do like to party with, we just don't want to play with, and instead deftly but obviously ghosted on them in order to play with another couple in the club that night. Luckily, although there was some occasional awkwardnesses, there were no hurt feelings. *One note about this episode… We experienced some kind of weird electrical disturbance during the recording of this show and there is an annoying interference in the background that is heard during the second question. We did our very best to minimize it through editing but it’s still there. It goes away after about 10 minutes but we are still a little embarrassed that you’ll have to endure a recording that is not up to our usual sound standards. Thanks, in advance, for your forgiveness.

We’re back from a fantastic, unannounced, quick, getaway in the gorgeous, warm, Mexican sunshine at Desire Pearl and now we are ready for the beginning of the Fall swinger season. With parties on our schedule in Toronto, Cincinnati and Nashville in the month of November, things are heating up for us even as the weather turns colder. To us, it definitely seems like Fall is the beginning of the swinger season but in this episode, listeners chimed in with their own opinions about the best season for swinging fun. We also discuss our question for this month about how many details of your personal play preferences you should share with new play partners. Then, with help from our audience, we do our best to answer a listener question about inactive profiles on dating websites. Some of our stories are more descriptive than others, but the experience we remember in our Diary Story in this episode was just so fun and exciting for us that we couldn’t resist sharing the juicy details. Listen as we giggle our way through the memory of a very hot experience with some newbies and the way they showed us a whole new technique for erotic play.

Fall is upon us and with the changing leaves and cooler temperatures the swinging scene really heats up. We are definitely excited about the upcoming lifestyle travel we have planned and about the fall party scene. It’s been a challenging summer for us as we have been juggling some health issues while still fitting in time for our active swinging schedule. We aren’t complaining. It’s been a great summer but, now back to full health, fall is going to be even better. As with last month’s question about bisexual men in the lifestyle, one of this month's questions really struck a raw nerve with some listeners and we were flooded with answers on the subject of women’s insecurities about the size and shape of their labia. It’s a fascinating topic. In this episode we also discuss, being too soft and gentle in play and, as avid travelers, we talk about the best way to book your lifestyle vacations. As we’ve intimated in the past, Paige has been dealing with a painful and stressful health issue regarding her breast. In our diary story for this show, we pull back the curtain and give you the details of how this injury actually occurred and in doing so, demonstrate how important it is to be respectful, gentle, careful, communicative and responsive during play.

Want to know what happens at the world largest swingers convention when dozens of sexy women kick all their husbands out of the room and, while drinking mimosas, let go of all of their inhibitions? If you're thinking toenail painting which evolves into pillow fights and then a wild all-girl, kitten-pile style orgy… then you would be wrong. But, while not quite as titillating, when, at Naughty in New Orleans, these women pulled out the microphones and pushed record with no men to interrupt or talk over them, the result was some fantastic and insightful conversation. Consider it a girl-power, brain orgy. In this bonus episode, we present Part 2 of the three part series of the recording that happened in that room in New Orleans. If you have not heard Part 1, stop right here. Go immediately to the Two or More to Tango Podcast (Episode 31) and listen to the beginning part of the discussion so you can pick up the conversation here on Swinger Diaries. When you’re finished listening, you will surly want to hear the conclusion which is posted on the Average Swingers Podcast (Episode 115). It was a casual, raw, fun-filled morning of girl talk. I was flattered to be included in the conversation and even more honored to be able to call all of these amazing women, my friends.

We're back from the biggest swingers convention in the world, Naughty in New Orleans, and every year it seems to grow more massive and more exciting. One of the highlights of this year’s trip was a special recording made by the “Ladies of the Lifestyle” (LOL), a group of podcasting women who all got together, with no men in the room, to talk about the topics that affect women in the swinging lifestyle. You’ll be able to hear all three parts of that recoding by tuning into the special bonus episodes soon to be released on the Two or More to Tango Podcast for part one, then right here on Swinger Diaries for the second segment, and then the wrap up of the conversation on the Average Swingers Podcast. We think you’ll enjoy the casual but insightful banter of these sexy ladies. After a fantastic house party last month, for this episode’s The Best of the Lifestyle segment, we were inspired to discuss the characteristics and attributes of the best swinger house parties. We also answer a listener’s question about how to broach the topic of swinging with your spouse in a way that doesn’t cause indignance and insult. However, the most engaging question of this show, as evidenced by the deluge of emails we received, was the topic of bisexual men in the lifestyle and why they are still so closeted in the general swinging population. Our listeners had some pretty powerful replies. We do love to travel and have been to most of the biggest lifestyle venues in North America. This episode’s diary story is about an encounter we had at Temptation Resort in Cancun. Unlike Desire, in this wild party atmosphere where the crowd isn’t always made up of the classic heteronormative male-female couples, Penn came face to face with an obvious and open invitation to explore some play with men and… well, lets just say that the night did end in a pile of same-sex bodies.

We are so lucky. We live an amazing life. Sometimes we have to pinch ourselves to believe it's real. Almost every weekend this past month we have traveled all over the country to visit amazing sexy venues, parties and friends. Even though this podcast is entertainment and information for our listeners, it's also our diary and so in this episode we indulge ourselves with a few minutes of memories as we recount our recent adventures. Because we visit so many great events, in The Best or the Lifestyle we discuss the best themes  that party planners can use to get the maximum participation by their guests. We then ask a question of our listeners for our own benefit because we don’t know the answer and we get a little lesson about the benefits of separate room play. Our listen’s question is a great one too. It's all about the inconsistency of condom use for oral and vaginal sex in the swinging lifestyle.  We don’t play separate, not really as rule but more as a preference, but this month’s diary story is the memory of an encounter where we pushed that boundary. The experience was interesting but it definitely cemented our feeling that, for us, we will always have and always will prefer to be together when it come to playtime.

Podcasts are such a powerful medium. Not only because they share so much unfiltered, valuable information, but because the create a very real and intense one-sided friendship between hosts and listeners. We know. We are both hosts and listeners of so many shows. In the spirit of wanting to complete the open circle of friendship with our listeners, we have some fantastic events coming up this year and we would love to have you join us. From meet and greets, to NIN, to our annual Desire trip, to the epic Podcast-a-Palooza, we would love to meet you in person. Come travel and party with us! Some topics really touch a raw nerve with listeners and solicit a deluge of responses. This is one of those shows. In the Best one the Lifestyle segment, we talk about the best websites to use to buy your sexy swinging outfits and accessories. Then we discus our question (which we shamelessly stole from themonogamishmarriage.com) about whether or not we SHOULD be telling our kids about the lifestyle. Finally, listeners write in amazingly insightful answers to a request for advice about how to handle a couple that wants an exclusive relationship. Our diary story is a cautionary tale about our friendship with a couple that crossed the line from casual sexy play to deep and real emotional connection. Some people prefer the casual hook ups, some want a long and deep relationship and some are searching for polyamory. The awkward, painful, frustrating friction happens when not everybody is on the same page.

As we decompress and recover from our week in Desire’s lap of sexy luxury last month, we begin to look forward to new adventures. Our next exciting event is this summer’s NIN convention. It should be epic, as it is every year. In this episode’s The Best of the Lifestyle segment, we discuss an often-asked question which is frequently posed by newbies about what, in our opinion, is the best swingers’ dating website and what makes some sites better than others. Once your are on a site, it probably won’t take you very long to get an unsolicited, generic greeting from a stranger. Some sites call it a poke, some a flirt, some call it blowing kisses, but what are you supposed to do with that compliment and vague invitation, answer back or ignore? What’s the proper etiquette? Lastly, as always, we attempt to reply to a request for advice from listeners. This question is about how to approach a couple without intimidating them by the fact that you are a threesome. Thankfully, our listeners, gave some sage advice. Our diary story this month is about a much anticipated get-together with a couple we met online. Prior to the big date, we scoured their profile for every detail. They seemed perfect but, unfortunately they neglected to correctly report one very important detail on their profile and the revelation of some unexpected information changed the trajectory of the evening.

We anticipated it for a whole year but it was worth the wait! This episode was recorded LIVE in the disco at Desire RM where a flatteringly huge audience of people took time away from the week-long naked party to join us and help answer questions. It was another epic week for us and this recording gives you just a taste of the kind of sexy, provocative and fascinating conversations that were had in the jacuzzi every afternoon.  In the Best of the Lifestyle segment our live audience discussed a breakdown of the differences and similarities between Desire RM and Desire Pearl. Then we shifted gears to discuss the best way to make an invitation to another couple for play. Finally, we all struggled with the question of age in the LS. How young is too young and can you ever get over the weirdness of playing with people who are your kids’ ages? Our Diary Story in this show was a very fresh memory. It actually happened at Desire the very night before we recorded. Although we are Desire veterans and experienced swingers, even we struggle with “sealing the deal”. This situation reminded us of the importance of being clear and bold in making the invitation to play, even when it's with great friends, or you just might miss out on some fantastic experiences.

After an unusual week when we found ourselves in two different Midwest lifestyle clubs in two different states in only 48 hours, we got to thinking about clubs and what makes some better or worse to us for our particular party preferences. So, in this episode’s, The Best of the Lifestyle segment, we review Midwest clubs. Because we live in the Midwest, we’ve been to quite a few but not nearly all of them so we’d love to hear listeners’ opinions about their experiences too. Our question for this episode is about whether swingers like the “shock factor” of being able to confuse and titilate observers and eavesdroppers when they are in vanilla settings. To us it seems like the answer comes down to a personal enjoyment or aversion to being an exhibitionist at heart. Our listener’s question comes from a single guy who plays separately with a hall pass and he asks if it's really necessary or even fair that so many couples seem to require verification from his wife before they play. After all, we are all consenting adults aren’t we? But on the other hand, nobody wants to be a home-wrecker either. While most of our diary stories are of our memories of fun sexy play experiences with other people, what’s rarely said on our podcast is that at the end of a fun night of clubbing, we often end up just wanting to play together. Sometimes, like in this episode’s story, just the flirting and watching and sexy atmosphere is all the entertainment we need and the show that naturally exists at a great lifestyle club leads to a hot encounter for just the two of us.

As we begin Book 3 of Swinger Diaries, we recall the milestones we’ve passed on our podcasting journey and then introduce our new format which involves answering one question of our’s, one directly from a listener, and our new segment, The Best of the Lifestyle, where we review the largest swinger’s convention in Canada. It’s a huge hotel takeover that happens every year in the beginning of February and its called Valentines in Niagra. As we will in all Book 3 episodes, we discuss one philosophical question of ours. This time it’s about the veto power and who uses it more often, him or her. Then we we have a conversation about a related question that was asked by a listener about how to handle an unequal attraction to another couple. Our diary story is one of the hardest we've ever re-told. We have avoided recounting it many times in past episodes because, even years later, the memory is still so painful for Paige. It’s an emotional story for us but it reminds us that sometimes, in the sensitive world of the lifestyle, tact and sensitivity are as important as honesty. While growth may come from the discomfort of challenging yourself, for us, first and foremost, this lifestyle adventure is about our fun as a couple and so we consciously choose to pursue only the encounters that we both enjoy.

In this, our final episode of Book 2, we take a few minutes to look back, look around, and look forward to the future of Swinger Diaries. We never imagined that this podcast would become so well-received as it has or that we would make so many contacts with amazing people through it, but as we contemplate the potential of Book 3, we can't help but ask ourselves if we are nearing the end of our show. We think not. The final three questions for Book 2 are as challenging as usual. In this episode we ask our listeners for their opinions on the topic of whether or not its acceptable to prefer play with a person based solely on his or her ethnicity or race. Then we discuss the best tactics for playing “defense”. Lastly, we give our opinions and hear from listeners about whether it’s better to go on swinging vacations with a group or just the two of you. As huge Desire fans, we knew where we wanted to go for our 25th wedding anniversary, but we didn’t know that we would be sharing the celebration with a couple from the other side of the world. While everybody believes they are selective, sometimes, in just the right mood, with the just right attitude, on just the right night, sexy encounters can find you when you aren’t expecting them. This night, the source of our pleasure came in the form of an exotic accent that was so charming that it was irresistible to Paige.

We’re back from another amazing swinger cruise and we’ve got some fantastic memories and stories to tell. On this sexy trip we spent a week floating around the Caribbean with stops in Key West, Nassau and Havana. It was an epic adventure for sure. The ports were fascinating and the action on the cruise ship was hot and steamy. We had so much to reminisce about that this show ran few minutes longer than usual. One great thing about being on a boat with hundreds of experienced swingers is that it gave Penn the chance to ask this episode’s three questions to tons of people… and did he ever! From our newest friends on the ship, we heard answers to questions about their biggest fears when they first got involved in swinging; about whether or not, at clubs and events, it’s fair and wise to charge singles a different rate than couples; and about if they have ever had full swap sex with a person who’s name they didn’t know. The responses from our shipmates were as insightful and interesting as the ones written in by our listeners. We do enjoy the occasional encounter with a charming, sexy, single man. The problem is that good ones are very tough to find. That’s not because men are pigs but because most guys around the swinging scene are just too inexperienced to know the rules, and etiquette required for making a good impression on real couples. In this episode’s diary story, we remember an experience with a single guy who was still learning the ropes and finding his way as he entered into the swinging lifestyle.

If you listen to shows like ours, its easy to think that all swingers live this constant, wild, sex-crazed life, but in reality thats not true. 99% of our life is made up of typical, common, routine, vanilla joys and responsibilities, just like yours. As swingers our interest in the lifestyle actually ebbs and flows and, to be quite honest, lately we’ve been in a rut. Luckily, we have an exciting swingers cruise coming up in just a few days that will surly break us out of our funk. As always, we should have some amazing stories to tell when we return. This episode’s questions were again inspired by listeners. They wanted our audience’s collective opinions on questions like, who mages your online communications, him or her? They also wanted to know, is it ok to play with a couple if you know they don't always use condoms? Lastly, they asked, who has more pressure in a first play situation, newbies or vets? All are interesting and easily debatable questions. We tapped into our listeners’ advice and did our best to give our own opinions too. For this show’s diary story we went back and listened to a very early recording from our past to refresh our memories about what is was like to be brand new. The encounter we heard and retell in this episode is one where we relied on the careful and kind direction of an extremely responsible, experienced couple. Don't misunderstand, enthusiastic consent is sexy, but there is also such a thing as too much coddling in a first play situation, even for scared timing inexperienced newbies.

Passionate Hedo fanatics might want to look away from this one. We are back from our second visit to the world’s most infamous swingers resort and we can't help but offer our review. We had a great time, as we always do, but in our considerable lifestyle travel experience, the epic reputation of Hedonism II in Negril Jamaica is a little overhyped considering all of the other amazing opportunities that exist out there for sexy fun. As usual, three interesting questions are discussed in this episode including topics like, the most common reasons people leave the lifestyle, with whom it's best to share your sexy secrets, and the most effective ways to ensure that a couple is real before meeting them. Our favorite experiences occur when the conditions are just right and we are able to take the time to get to know a couple. The tempting environment that exists at classy, sensual resorts is our favorite because the slow erotic build up sometimes culminates in an explosive encounter. In this episode's diary story we recount just such an experience with listeners for whom, after hours of hearing our stories, when we met, they had full confidence that we really are who we say we are.

Our whirlwind travel schedule continues as we reminisce about our recent trip to the Napa Valley and the sexy encounter we had with experienced friends who showed us the finest places that the Northern California Wine Country has to offer. Luckily, we appreciate great sex more than we appreciate great wine. This episode’s topics have a slant toward questions dealing with newbies. In it we discuss the query of whether our listeners prefer play with new or experienced couples. Then we dive into a conversation about the delicate situation of sharing a hotel room with another couple. Finally, we hear from listeners as to how we should reply to the most common email question we receive, what’s the best way to get started in swinging? As long-time listeners know, Swinger Diaries started as our private recordings which we created to remember our adventures. To this day, after every encounter, in order to preserve the memory, we still pull out our phone and record the experience by making an entry in our intimate audio journal. We always swore that those recordings were far too personal to ever share… until today. For the first time, this episode’s diary story is the actual, groggy, morning-after recording of our observations after a wonderful evening in which special friends generously trusted us to explore a new sexual boundary with them. The audio is bad but the sentiment is unfiltered and real.

While we know that our show is designed to stay focused on asking and exploring the unanswerable questions of the swinging lifestyle, this month we selfishly just can't resist reveling in a quick recap of our amazing trip to Naughty in N’awlins 2018 and then also our follow up excursion to Toronto for our anniversary just ten days later. It was a whirlwind couple of weeks full of new friends, wild parties and some of the most thrilling play experiences we’ve ever had. We're already booked for more fun next year.  Happily, we get so many answers from listeners to our episodes’ questions that these days, our show practically writes itself. All we have to do is read the intelligent, creative, insightful answers written in by listeners. There were so many this month that we couldn't even hope to pack them all in. In this episode, our listeners answer questions about why swingers use the word “play”; about whether it's preferred to play in a hotel room with one king bed or two queen beds; and whether swingers become more or less selective with experience. This episode’s diary story is a recent memory from a hotel takeover. We were glad we had a room with two beds in order to handle the fantastic free-flowing orgy that happened when we mingled an exciting, new, eager couple with some of our favorite sexy, experienced, friends. The encounter was the perfect example of the playfulness that occurs when six, openminded, adventurous, naked friends get together for an evening of casual, sexy fun.

We’ve just returned home from Naughty in Nawlins 2018 and yes, it was awesome! However, because we knew that we wouldn’t have time to record and edit this episode after returning, and because we also knew that our listeners tune into this podcast in order to hear thoughtful, challenging questions about lifestyle topics and not to listen to us brag about our mind-blowing vacations; we recorded this episode before NIN. Therefore, if you really want a recap of the fantastic times that were had, check out some of our friends and fellow podcasters; Average Swingers, Two or More to Tango and Sex Uninterrupted.  In this episode, all three questions of our are a little provocative and challenging. This time we discuss the most commonly heard rule in the lifestyle and ask if its ever ok to “take one for the team”. Then we talk about the etiquette and protocol for taking pics in playtime situations. Finally we explore the meaning of the word “straight” when a woman identifies herself that way in a couple’s online profile. The experience recounted in our diary story describes the grey area that exists in the idea of taking one for the team and the unexpected affects and consequences we had when our communication about a planned playtime wasn’t as strong as we’d have liked it to have been.

As avid podcast listeners, we never understand why lifestyle podcasters think people would be interested in hearing their version of yet another “Here’s what we did on our vacation” recap which is a format we find to be desperately tired and overdone. After all, who wants to hear about the mundane details of someones travel experience? Does anybody really like looking at other peoples’ vacation photos? Of course not. As a result, we prefer to structure our show so that the events described have a purpose for listeners and produce a lesson or a moral that we’ve learned.  We aspire to make our podcast’s content evergreen so it can be used as a resource for others and not just for our own selfish memories and musings. However, we just returned from two very interesting events and, at our listeners’ request, we are compelled to share some of our insights and observations about the Friction hotel takeovers and the New York City lifestyle club scene. After reviewing our adventures over the past month, we dive into our questions. We discuss what, if anything, is so fun about flipping vanillas. Then Penn gets on his soapbox for a rant about whether or not singles in the lifestyle can be considered swingers. Finally, we take listeners’ advice about the best ways to spot other swingers in vanilla settings and make a call to all swingers to reclaim the use of the black ring to identify ourselves to each other.  From the beginning of our swinging career we have always insisted on a very clear boundary between our swinging activities and our vanilla life. To preserve our privacy and anonymity, we regularly travel for our sexy fun. We promised ourselves from the start that we would never allow those two parts of our lives to mingle… well, except this once. This episode’s diary story is the memory of what happened when we broke our own rule and allowed our two parallel worlds to mix for just a few hours.

We love meeting up with listeners and our awesome upcoming travel schedule offers lots of opportunities. In addition to our usual tour of clubs and hotel takeovers, New York, New Orleans, Toronto, Negril, Havana and Cancun are all on this years agenda. Its going to be a fantastic year of sexy fun. This episode has some philosophical questions to be discussed by us and our listeners. This month we talk about our “play percentage” in a variety of different scenarios. Then we struggle with the puzzle of whether good kissing is an objective or subjective skill. Finally, we explore the answers to a listener’s question about how to clean up after a playtime.  Although we travel often, the highlight of our upcoming year will be our visit to Desire RM with friends and listeners in March of 2019. In this entry into our diary, we remember some wild encounters that happened on last year’s Desire trip. While we aren’t usually orgy fans, the memory told in this story is seared into our minds as one of the most epically erotic and sensual group play experiences we’ve ever had.

Lifestyle travel is a huge part of our swinging experience and we are loving the fact that so many of our listeners want to make memories with us. Last month, on our 16th visit to Desire, we were joined by dozens of friends and listeners who made it one of the best trips we’ve ever had. We are excited to announce that we are doing it all again next year, March 24-30, 2019. In the mean time, we also have a full travel schedule planned for this year and we would love to have you join us on one of our many adventures.  Three great listener questions are discussed on this episode. We answer questions about how the lifestyle has changed and about how to handle contacting playmates on the morning after a play experience, and then we scratch the surface on one of the biggest challenges for newbies to the swinging lifestyle, jealousy.  As we listen back to the 60 diary stories we’ve told over the years, one thing seems obvious, we love variety. Every encounter is unique and each one teaches us a new lesson about ourselves, our playmates and the swinging lifestyle. This story reminds us that even after years of experience and even with our closest and most trusted friends, that weird unexplainable pang of jealousy is always a possibility.

For the first time ever, this episode was recorded live, in front of an audience, with the sea breeze on our skin, and the tropical birds chirping in the background while overlooking the ocean from the Passion Suite at Desire Resort and Spa in Riviera Maya, Mexico. Dozens of friends and listeners traveled with us to this amazing place and after days of tequila and naked flirting in the rooftop jacuzzi, some of our newest and best friends joined us for this episode to try to answer three new challenging listener questions. In this show, we ask our live audience for their opinions on what they think is the sexiest position for a foursome. Then, we all reach a surprising consensus on the question of whether or not its ok to fake an orgasm in a swinging play situation. Finally, we crowd source the advantages and disadvantages of being the hunter or the prey at a lifestyle club or event. After the crowd left us, we sat together and remembered an encounter that we had a few years ago on the group bed in the playrooms at the largest swingers convention in the world, Naughty in N’awlins. That night, the hunters became the prey in an anonymous experience that gave us some unexpected sexy fun and the memory of one of our favorite foursome positions.

After one full year of recording Book 2 of Swinger Diaries, we are surprised to realize that, in this new format alone, we’ve covered over 70 topics! Podcasts are such a fantastic resource for learning about the swinging lifestyle and there are some great shows that have just begun releasing new episodes. Listeners are hungry for information as evidenced by the long list of questions we’ve compiled written in by our listeners for our show. It looks like we’ve got a few listener question episodes coming up. Like none before, the questions in this show got us challenging our beliefs about ourselves and others self perception. In this episode, we talk at length about our “number” and how others gauge theirs too. Then we discuss the preference among experienced swingers and new swingers for FMF or MFM encounters. Finally, we call ourselves out as being somewhat foolish and irrational about STIs by agreeing with the common play standard which is that we never use condoms for oral sex. We love getting away for intimate reconnection weekends and we always seem to work in a little sexy fun when we go. This diary story is about an afternoon delight that we had with a well-vetted single guy and the amazing souvenir Penn has from the encounter.

Podcasting is a labor of love for us. Its like a secret hobby within our secret hobby. Its so fun to make connections and spread the news about the joys of the swinging lifestyle, but its also a lot of work. In order to make sure that we protect the privacy of our friends and produce a content filled product that we are proud of, a lot on editing is required. To make sure we can continue to look forward to recording our stories and not allow this show to turn into a job, in this episode we are announcing a new release schedule for Swinger Diaries. This episode’s questions are big ones. Full swap vs. Soft swap; the best conversation starters for meeting new couples; and the explanations for why its so common that  “she’s hot… he’s not” are all discussed on this show and as always our listeners had some great comments, observations and explanations. Our diary story is a memory from early in our swinging experiences when we were adamant about our self imposed boundary of being a “soft swap only” couple. While the invitation to play was awkward, the playtime itself was comfortable, respectful and fun. Its an example of how different styles and levels of play can be intimidating but if the rules are clear in advance, everyone can relax and just enjoy the pleasures of the moment.

As our next eagerly-anticipated visit to Desire approaches, we are enjoying the use of a modern messaging service to get to know others who will be sharing jacuzzi water with us. Kik is the most common chatting app among swingers because it doesn’t require much personal information to establish an account. Unfortunately, when the group gets huge, it loses some of the personal touch and at the top of this show Paige goes on a little rant about one of her personal annoyances in large group chats. As always we have three interesting questions to discuss. In this episode we talk about why swingers regularly discuss the prevention of STIs but almost never talk about the possibility of pregnancy. Then we tackle a question from a listener who wanted to know how often is too often for sexy fun and how to keep your swinging and vanilla life in balance. Finally we explore answers from listeners about the advantages and disadvantages of going to events as a couple and as a foursome. Our diary story is the memory of our experiences with a very young couple for whom pregnancy was a real concern and a barrier to full swap sex. We remember the awkwardness and challenges of attending a club with them and also the sexy playtime that resulted. Having a scheduled encounter with a couple has its advantages but there were plenty of inconveniences and weird moments too.

Even though Paige’s foot is in a protective boot which is temporarily cramping our style and limiting our playtime opportunities, we won’t let it mess up our recording schedule. Luckily for us, she will be fully healed in time for our upcoming weekend getaway to Trapeze in Atlanta and she will have her dancing heels ready for our fast approaching trip to paradise in March. We got pages and pages of responses to this episode’s questions about the regional expectation of condoms during play; the debate over the best lifestyle resort in North America, Desire or Hedo; and the most common origin for swingers. Are they repressed rule-followers, or just life long adventurers? We take some time in making our diary entry to remember our own origin and the resistance we had to joining into the naughty fun of this wild lifestyle. It was a slow process for us, but in this episode we remember a big step. We recount one of our first playtimes at Desire with experienced swingers. We talk all about the resulting shock and self-doubt that came from pressing our boundaries and the way, like all newbies, we just had to take our time to process the experience.

As we look forward to going out for the first time in years to a New Years Eve party, we take note of the fact that for us, swinging, like life, is all about attitude. We don't waste time looking backwards with regret or lamenting challenges we've met throughout the year. We never forget that we are living an amazing life and so we are, as always, looking forward to what next year will bring in our vanilla and swinging lifestyles. This episode has three fairly commonly discussed topics, but with our listeners’ help we try to approach each with a slightly new perspective. We talk about what to do when you can’t get (or stay) hard during play, the best piece of advice for single females aspiring to be swinging unicorns, and the secret signals couples exchange to express interest in potential play partners. While unicorns are not necessarily our favorite play choice, we have had some awesome encounters with quite a few. In our diary story, we remember a slightly awkward playtime with a beautiful, but very selective single girl who joined us in a playroom at a house party and the way she enhanced our sexual experience that night.

Once again we have a listener question episode. Our listeners are always sending questions and topic suggestions and, since we certainly don't have all the answers, occasionally we select three great inquiries to crowd-source the best advice.  In this episode we discuss the debrief conversations that we have on the car ride home and how they have actually lead to the creation this podcast. Then we gingerly talk about the challenging topic of being overweight and how it potentially affects your lifestyle experiences. Finally, we present a listener question that has appeared on our Kasidie Community wall and hear the responses of other listeners about whether or not its bad swinger etiquette for a guy not to orgasm during play. Our journal entry is the story of a playtime encounter that was memorable to us because it was so peculiar. Never before have we had a play session in which our experiences were so completely different. For Penn, it was fantastic, energetic, exciting, fun, wild and amazing. For Paige, well, we’ll let her describe it for you. It made for a very interesting and challenging debrief on the long car ride home.

We are still recovering from another fantastic Desire adventure. We had a great time meeting listeners and indulging ourselves in the opulent luxury that is the new Desire Villas. Just in time, the Thanksgiving holiday came right when we got home allowing us to rest and rebalance ourselves with family and friends. Although swinging is an amazingly fun hobby, our vanilla life is our true priority and we never want to forget it. In this episode, our three topics discuss how much you really want to know about your play partners; the best advice for single men who want to get into the swinging lifestyle; and the tricky topic of adjusting your alcohol consumption if you think play is on the table for that night. In our journal, we remember an encounter with a man who is that rare find; a charming, sexy, interesting, clean, reliable, respectful, classy, sexy, single guy. This memory is an example of how we view the valuable roll that single men can fill in our lifestyle and how they can truly enhance a mature, secure, committed couple's love making.

Some day when we are 85, sitting in rocking chairs, sipping lemonade, and holding hands on our front porch, we want to be able to bring up these recordings, push play, and listen back to our stories as we knowingly smile and nod our heads to each other confirming to ourselves that… we lived! As a result we prefer to recollect the best of our experiences. Why remember the disappointments when the triumphs are so amazing? However, we realize that this show is more than just a diary of our memories for our own keeping. Its also a resource and many of our listeners need more than just the hot stories. They also need the real, balanced truth about swinging too. Hence, this episode’s story. As always, we discuss crowd-sourced answers to three questions from our list. We talk about accidentally sexting vanilla friends, the uncomfortable topic of how to answer questions about work at swinger parties and whether or not its ok to lower your standards for play while on a lifestyle vacation, which brings back a tumultuous memory. Swinging is an adventure for us and as such, we want to enjoy the ride no matter where it takes us. We never want to second-guess or dwell on experiences that don't quite turn out the way we expected or even would have preferred, but in this episode we remember an encounter that honestly, we hate admitting is part of our swinging memories, Paige’s one regret.

It’s the swingers’ high holy day, Halloween. To be truthful, Halloween blowouts aren’t our favorite swinger parties but on a few awesome occasions those newbie-filled, overcrowded, makeup-laced events have produced some fantastic memories for us. We have another three great questions for this episode, but in this show, the conversations about determining your swinger “number” and the best icebreaker games for swingers were almost lost in the deluge of answers we received about one of the most polarizing and opinion inducing questions we have explored. It seems that everybody has a opinion about… the bush! In honor of Halloween and in preparation for this episode’s diary story, we listened back to one of our very first private swinger diary recordings. It made us both giggle and shake our heads at ourselves as we listened to our wide-eyed recollections. The memory we heard, and now re-tell here, was about our very first swinger Halloween party and how, in one unexpected night, our “number” doubled, from one to two.

When we pushed "record" for the first time, almost three years ago, we honestly didn’t think we would repeat the posting process 50 times, but here we are. This podcast started as our diary which we created to remember the amazing adventures that this lifestyle has provided, but it has grown into more than that. Now, its a resource for our audience and a priceless way to make connections between us and our listeners. If we had to direct new listeners to our podcast toward just one episode to understand what we and this show are about, this is it. You might say this is our manifesto. In this ridiculously long episode, we tackle an epic challenge, to list the top 50 things that we and our listeners say are the best things about the swinging lifestyle. It was a huge endeavor. We dare you to try to take it all in! One of the best parts of this show is the influence it has on explaining the joys and benefits of swinging to those who are curious and nervous. In this episode, we tell the story of how our podcast has aided the journey of one such couple. We are proud to have helped expose them to the wonders and pleasures of swinging and humbled to call them friends.

As we approach the Episode 50 milestone, we announce the introduction of our new logo and renew our invitation to listeners to send us their lists of their favorite things about the swinging lifestyle for our upcoming Top 50 countdown. As the title of this show suggests, in this episode we discuss listeners’ preferences for variety vs. having a “type” when it comes to play partners; the question of whether or not we could walk away from swinging and be content with only one partner for the rest of our lives; and some conversation about the nature of the term “vanilla” in the lifestyle. All of our stories are very real, after all, they are our memories, but in this episode we talk about the motivations behind one of our encounters with a couple who were very unlike our usual type and the way that for us the swinging lifestyle is a fantastic vehicle to allow us to bond, blow off steam and continually renew our love and commitment to each other.

We are back from a last minute Labor Day weekend trip to Florida where we snuck in some recon at a place thats been on our bucket list for a while, Caliente. We had a great time laying naked in the sunshine all day and partying all night. We do travel to some amazing lifestyle destinations and we’d love to have you to join us. In this episode, in addition to answering our listeners’ questions about accepting compliments, using fake names, and the best playtime music in the swinging lifestyle; we announce an upcoming event that we need your help with. For our fast-approaching 50th Episode, we are compiling the top 50 things that we, and you our listeners, love about the swinging lifestyle. Send us your answers.  Our diary story is the memory of a classic playtime encounter in which the casual, honest, genuine connection and the perfect playtime environment, resulted in a rare and exciting play experience… twice!

We are back from our amazing lifestyle cruise through the Mediterranean and we have so much to talk about! After skipping our usual release date in the middle of this month, we are bursting with stories and reviews of our journey. Please excuse the length of this episode. Although its a long one, we barely scratched the surface of all of our adventures and observations. After that trip, we will surely have diary stories for many years to come. After all, it was truly the trip of a lifetime. True to our format, after recapping our fantastic swinger cruise, in this episode we discuss the question of how long it should take to get into swinging. We talk about tips and advice for keeping the sexy spark alive with a couple in anticipation of a date that is still far away. Then we expose our own occasional crisis of confidence and talk about when and why we sometimes think that we suck at swinging. Though almost all of our diary entries are memories of our sexiest encounters, not every evening ends with mind-blowing orgasms. This journal entry is the memory of a night when we left the club with unfulfilled fantasies. Sometimes you just lose your mojo and when that happens, you have to wisely assess the situation, pack up, make a graceful exit,  and know that there will always be more sexy opportunities in the future.