The Be Free Podcast

It's finally here. I've been hoping to create this interview with Ryan Forsell for literal YEARS. Ryan's heart is akin to no one else I've ever met, and it's because of him and my friendship with him that Be Free even started. I met Ryan my sophomore year of college, instantly fell in love with him, and became best friends with him- only to discover that he could only be in a relationship with a woman. This interview is so important to me because I get to highlight someone who completely changed my life, and ignited a movement out of an incredible story of forgiveness, patience, and redemption.  Also, the first 13 episodes of this podcast are an audiobook of mine and Ryan's story, as written and narrated by me. All of these podcasts, including this episode are scored by the genius Corey Martin. Thank you, Ryan, for changing my life, and now giving me the opportunity to share your love out to the Be Free community.

Today we get to be a little bit more free with Brennan Jung! I've known Brennan for years, but since Be Free came on the scene, he has been right here along the way. We realized Brennan has been to the most Be Free Stories Nights out of anyone! His support, love, and wisdom has given us so much direction and hope for the future of what we are doing with Be Free. Brennan is a Doctoral candidate and psychotherapist with training in clinical psychology and spiritual integration, he's part of Angeles Psychology Group, Angelespsychologygroup.com If you're interested in him or the other therapists you can schedule a direct call with him through the website, mention be free over the phone especially if you want to start therapy. Thank you for listening to the Be Free podcast and staying up on the Be Free Community. 2019 is coming quick and I can't wait to share with you all that we are working on to grow and help more people in more places Be Free!! Peace and Freedom, Brian Terada Be Free

I'm nervous about this episode. I'm nervous about the work that's being done on my heart over this past year, but I'm also so grateful for it. This coming Sunday, December 2nd, 2018, we are having our last Stories Night in LA of 2018. Yesterday, I was driving and I realized I have a new Be Free Story to tell- one that is going on with me right now. It isn't about coming out six years ago, it's about freedom I'm searching for in the present. It is about HOPE that I am searching for in the present. And that is what this episode is about- when life seems mundane, boring, and even depressing- where is the hope?  Through some stories about Be Free and my own experience, I hope we can get close to answering that question- and even find a little hope along the way. Peace and Freedom, Brian

In this very special episode of The Be Free Podcast, I sat down with Cory Marquez. I'm so pumped to share his story with you, because he has been instrumental in the development of Be Free ever since we became friends two years ago. Cory has constantly encouraged me to take the next steps with Be Free and dream big. He believes in the mission so much that he is the Chair of our Board of Advisors. Cory is a co-paster at New Abbey Church in Pasadena, CA and is married to Karissa and has three lovely young kids.  Cory's story is one of conviction and justice. Cory is what some would consider a "beacon of privilege" in that he hits all of the privilege checkmarks: Straight, white, male, Christian, Cisgender, (I would add tall to that list!). However, Cory has chosen to do everything in his power to empower the marginalized. We get to hear so much as to what brought Cory to this mission, but we also get to hear about some of the darkest moments he has had along the way. Cory's VULNERABILITY and gifts of EMPOWERMENT and STORYTELLING are revealed in this episode, and I'm so glad we get to share it with our be free community.  Peace and Freedom, Brian

This past week I did something that I always encourage other people to do, but never do myself. I admitted to myself that I need some help. Sharing that story on this podcast was a release, and hopefully it will be encouraging for you and others in your life to do the same. We belong to each other, we need each other. As much as we would like to, we cannot do this thing called LIFE on our own. There are so many factors that keep us from reaching out and asking for help, such as: 1. fear of being a burden on others 2. it's easier to just ignore the problem 3. admitting to others we need help 4. admitting to ourselves we need help   and I am TACKLING those barriers in this podcast. I had no idea how much those things keep me from asking for help. The truth is, it's okay to ask for help. It's okay if it takes you a long time to get there. My hope and prayer is that we can all be a little bit more free to admit to ourselves and others that we need help :) Peace and freedom, Brian

It is finally time to bring back the Be Free Podcast! This first episode is an interview I did with Callie Mulville. On this episode, she is actually interviewing me about Be Free/my coming out experience for a work project at Sacramento State. I asked her if I could record the conversation because I figured we would talk about a lot of things that the Be Free community should know. Over the last year, we've held Be Free Stories Nights all over the country, and we have so many more planned for next year already. Sitting in these circles hearing these Be Free Stories Nights is such a gift that we wanted to keep telling these stories on the Podcast. So, this show will be serve to keep the Be Free community informed on everything we're up to, how you can get involved, and of course to share Be Free Stories! We will be aiming to post new episodes at least twice a month. We will be interviewing people hearing their stories and reflecting on all we have to learn and grow from hearing from these incredible people. THANK YOU for your support for Be Free, helping people come out as whatever and be a little bit more free. To get involved or support Be Free/the Be Free Podcast, go to befreestories.com :) Peace and Freedom, Brian Terada Music by Corey Martin

How did this BE FREE thing come about? More importantly, WHY did it come about. How can you get involvled? COME TO THE BE FREE BIRTHDAY PARTY ON SEPTEMBER 22ND 2017 at MANTRA COFFEE COMPANY IN Azusa, CA! Live music, Be Free People, Be Free Stuff, Coffee, Treats, etc.  We'll see you there! Peace n Freedom, Brian

It's been a while since I've cried while recording a Podcast. I love you all. Let's never stop dreaming. Let's believe that our God is good and he is faithful too. Ecclesiastes 4:12 Peace and Freedom everyone  

I am so afraid to post this Podcast and to take this next step in the BE FREE journey, but it has become so apparent that this is what needs to happen.  In order to make all of the BE FREE dreams come true (including continuing the podcast, the youtube channel, the documentary, the parties, the conferences, the books), we need more time. And in order to have more time, we need more funds.  Please give this episode a listen if you would like to know why this is the important next step in the BE FREE journey, and if you would like to learn more, head on over to the following link: https://patron.podbean.com/befree  Peace and Freedom Everybody :)

Today we begin a series entitled "How to Love" and I can't think of a better day to start this series than today BECAUSE it is National Coming Out Day! To me, this day is all about love. Loving yourself and loving others JUST as they are and JUST as YOU are! The first part of this series is about starting with yourself because you can't love anyone else if you don't love yourself. We go through a few important ideas to think about when you start with yourself and they are as follows: - In order to love others, you need to love yourself. - Love is an action- including when it comes to loving yourself. - Choosing inspiration over jealousy - Don't believe the lies that say you aren't worth love - Identify the people in your life who know what love is. - Accept the Grace that is offered to you constantly - and give it to yourself too :) Thank you guys for listening, happy national coming out day, and I wish you all peace and freedom :)

The BE FREE Party happened on Friday, September 23rd 2016 and let's just say IT CANNOT be the last one!! SO Many people came together to turn the night into a place of creativity, community, hope, love, and Freedom! We got to sing songs, see art, take photos in a photobooth, and find a place of solidarity and freedom with each other. The first half of this Episode is my own thoughts on the evening and what I think it was the beginning of (MORE PARTIES around the US?!), and the second half is a recording of Brittany Barron talking and then myself talking AND THEN all of us singing a song together about Freedom. If you missed the party, or you went and you want a chance to relive it,  you can listen here or you can also watch the video of the song at https://youtu.be/l4drovZpjfc.  THANK YOU for making this evening possible by the freedom you all give me. Thank you for the countless people who find freedom because of your boldness to dive into the stories of others and discover new ways of loving. Let's have some more parties yeah? Peace and Freedom y'all :)

Three years after I typed the first words of the SPLIT story, I published the first Podcast. But as I finished writing, recording, and editing the SPLIT Podcast, it was so fun to realize that the making of this Podcast was a story in it of itself. This episode is the story of how the SPLIT Podcast came to be. I hope you learn more about the story you are in right now, and I hope that brings about more hope for you :) Peace and Freedom y'all! See you on Friday, Sept 23rd at Mantra Coffee Company for the Be Free Party!

This is the FINAL episode of the SPLIT Story, but not the end of the Podcast. Next week, this podcast will change names from SPLIT to BE FREE- and I couldn't be more pumped about it. Thank you for listening to this story and sharing it out with your friends. The beginning of this episode is about STORY, the BE FREE PARTY (September 23rd, 7pm, Mantra Coffee Company) and the future of this movement. The BE FREE shirts are on their way to me, and you can order yours at befreestories.com (BE FREE means you are a safe person to come out to!) I love you guys, thank you for listening, and I can't wait to see you all at the Be Free Party.  Story Concepts I got from Donald Miller's "A Million Miles in a Thousand Years" SPLIT Story Podcast scored by Corey Nicoles Martin Edited by Jackie Tackaberry and Sarah Lochelt Artwork by Leslie Terada Peace & Freedom friends

Kyle wrote me a letter about the story of our friendship. I read the letter out loud with him sitting by me, so that I could crash into him every time I came to a section I couldn't bear. Once again, he held me, and he cried with me. And then, when I finished the letter, I knew I had to do something that I could have never done before.  ---- Come join us on September 23rd at 7PM at Mantra Coffee Company in Azusa, CA for a night of music, art, storytelling, and freedom. The BE FREE Party is the launch of the BE FREE initiative (BE FREE means you are a safe person to come out to). There are already so many of you that have RSVP'd and I can't wait to see you all and celebrate with you there!! Peace and freedom y'all :)

This episode documents the first time I ever recorded my own story for someone else to read. Kyle asked me to write down everything that happened between us, and I don't think there is anything more beneficial that I could have done after everything happened (If you haven't tried this, I highly recommened WRITING down your own story – you may find that there is more there than you think, and you may begin to make some new connections between seemingly random experiences in your past). Also, there are a ton of announcements in the beginning of this episode about the Be Free Party!! I'm so excited to begin unveiling what the evening will look like by telling you some of the incredible artists that will be joining us! Peace and Freedom my friends!

To be honest, this is me trying something new. This is me giving a free flow of thought, conversation, and story (which I believe is the answer). I hope it helps to bring about reconciliation and grace. Peace and Freedom friends.

The moments in our lives in which we enter a doorway through which we cannot return. The moments when we realize we were chasing after something we wanted instead of something we needed for so long. The moments when everything finally begins to fit together, and we become whole. The moments when true love drives out our fear. Those are the moments in Episode 13: True Love. Peace and Freedom my friends  PS - HUGE ANNOUNCEMENT IN THIS EPISODE. BEFREESTORIES.COM IS LIVE! Pre-orders begin today!!

Usually, when I am at a loss as to what I should do next, I try to figure out what it is I am most afraid to do. Oftentimes, what I am most afraid to do and what I want to do the most are the exact same thing and in order to get moving towards that thing, I need others to push me towards it.  I told Bret that I needed to come out, but I couldn't do it alone, so I needed him to make me do it. And so in a dorm room surrounded by hundreds of freshman men, Bret invited over the dearest people to me and threw together one of the most beautiful nights of my life.  While recording and reliving this episode, I am still in shock that this actually took place. May this scene bless you as it continues to bless me.  Peace and Freedom my friends.

With just a month left in college, a new hope came about in my life. It was something that I thought I never wanted, but I couldn't see that I needed it until the facades of perfection were lifted.  "I need to come out. I need to be free. But I can't. I'm not ready. I need you to make me do it." The risk of rejection is worth the peace of knowing reality.  Peace and freedom

Although it seemed counter-intuitive to continue to see Kyle, there was just one thing I needed him to know. I needed him to know exactly how I felt because I couldn't bear the thought that he didn't know how treasured he is.  And his response was insane, backwards, unexpected, and most of all - undeserved. His response was a culmination of our entire friendship, and I would argue it represents the gracious relationship that Jesus has with the Church.  Here's to an upside down way of loving people, a backwards way of sitting in the tension, and staying with someone until they finally realize that maybe things will be okay. Peace and freedom y'all :)

Have you ever taken a moment to stop and recognize all the ways you are inhibiting other people from loving you? How many things you are hiding, how many things you assume about the way they'll respond to your truth, how many things you wish to change about yourself before you share your story with the world.  Love doesn't wait for you to come around. Love doesn't hold out until you've found your groove. Love isn't a goal you can achieve. Love is yours, now. There are real people in the world who will love you with reckless abandon. These are the people who know who God is and what God is. God is made of love, and God made us in love. This episode is about how I finally started to recognize a pattern in the way that people filled with true love were responding to my heart. This episode was written in hopes that you would find people who would do the same. Peace and freedom my friends

You know that moment when you something has happened and you know you will never be the same because of it? That person says something or treats you a certain way and your entire view of the world and life is flipped upside down and there is no way you can continue living the way you've always lived? That's what happens in Episode 08, and let's just say, the story in Episode 08 is meant to be just that for those who take a listen. Also, there is a HUGE announcement at the end of this episode that I am so excited to share with you all about! It's going to bring people f r e e d o m and I am PUMPED about it! Can't wait to share. Peace and freedom my friends!

As much as seeing Kyle made me shiver with shame, we decided that we would try something that most people would advise against; meet up and talk for hours every week. Zed was skeptical of our plan, so he decided to investigate whether or not this strategy could really be beneficial.  At the end of this episode, I am sharing another huge part of my soul; music. The song I am sharing is a cover of a Josh Garrels song entitled "The Children's Song". During this time in my life, I would listen to this song on repeat, as the lyrics consoled me that life would be difficult, but we can still have hope in the fact that Jesus has overcome the world. I am also so excited to share with you all an idea that I've been dreaming up for a few months now: but I won't be announcing the plan until next week- because the dream came from a realization that I go through in next week's episode. It is going to be so fun and amazing and it will really help a lot of people find freedom.  Peace and freedom to you all!

With the taste of freedom after coming out to my guides, I continued to begrudgingly take steps towards healing. It was then that the last person I expected decided that they needed to be a part of that journey.

I never knew I could want what Ally had until she unashamedly shared the deepest and darkest parts of her story. I never knew that I could possibly do that too, and it may just end up being right.

A celebration of love becomes my living nightmare.

"I wanted to be capable of taking care of myself, loving others, and doing my job. I knew it was time to start taking the painstaking steps towards healing, and I knew exactly what the first step was:  Kyle. I had to tell him all the things I said to him everyday throughout the year when he was too far away to hear. I had to confess my unreciprocated feelings for him, while facing my dread of coming out to him at the same time."

When I found out Kyle fell in love too, just with the wrong person.

I grew up praying for God to send me someone to save me from my imminent doom. But when that person came, my future became a whole new level of doom. I fell in love and I fell a p a r t.