Podcasts about ask for help

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Best podcasts about ask for help

Latest podcast episodes about ask for help

RealPositiveGirl - Weekly Encouragement & Mental Health
How to Manage Your Insecurities - Don't Be Controlled By Fear or Fixed Mindset

RealPositiveGirl - Weekly Encouragement & Mental Health

Play Episode Listen Later Jan 27, 2023 29:50 Transcription Available


Learning how to manage your insecurities will limit distractions from self-growth, getting in the way of changes we are making, and accomplishing your goals, especially goals that require stepping outside of your comfort zone. We got 5 tips on how to manage your insecurities.Show Notes:It takes a lot of honesty to admit to yourself what you are struggling with and what needs to change. But once you do this, you will be able to move forward with better understanding on why you are struggling and what needs to happen next for change.And I don't want you to think that it's super easy to start being honest with yourself. It can take some time if we are used to brushing things under the rug or downplaying anything good or bad that happens or we have a lot of pride & ego issues getting in our way. But it's worth the effort to just start admitting to yourself what is not working, what is really getting in your way & what is only around because of vanity reasons. Stop chaining yourself to pain by clinging to all these issues.The episode that released right before this was all about how you can know you're insecure & struggling with insecurities. If you haven't listened to that episode, I would highly recommend it to know the why before the how. Which leads me to what we are going to talk about today, the details on HOW we can manage our insecurities. And again, the reason we are looking to manage our insecurities is to no longer allow these things to control us & get in our way of accomplishing our goals, moving forward with change and live your life without as many distractions to talk you out of stepping outside your comfort zone & achieving self-growth.Here are 5 tips on How to Manage Your Insecurities:Accept & Confront Your Insecurities. (Where is your insecurity coming from? Comparison/Past Criticisms/Negative Self-Image/Find the root cause & confront the core issue.)Forgive & Let Go of Past Experiences.Challenge Negative Thoughts & Practice Self-Approval. (Stop yourself in your tracks when you start thinking negatively about yourself or other things. Also, learn to let go of needing validation from others.)Remember Comparison Will Be the Death of You. (You get nothing from comparison. Some say it can help with motivation of what you want, but you having the thing someone else has WILL look different then THEM having it. We can't just copy & paste. It doesn't work like that.)Adopt a Growth Mindset. (A fixed mindset will tell you that you can't get better or be different than you naturally are. A fixed mindset is a deadend. This is why a growth mindset is so important because it tells you to keep trying, to KNOW you can change and learn new things & be different than you are if you CHOOSE to be.)Thank you so much for listening, downloading & sharing the show!! You are supporting me so well by doing these things!Thank you!!Support the showSupport the Show on Patreon: patreon.com/realpositivegirlPlanner Now on AMAZON!: https://amzn.to/3WwthT2Get the NEW PLANNER-JOURNAL!! https://www.sabrinajoy.com/mindsetshopVisit me on Instagram or TikTok: @sabrinajoyperozzoTwitter: @realsabrinajoyEmail Me: realpositivegirlpodcast@gmail.com Sign up for my weekly newsletter https://www.sabrinajoy.com/newsletterCashApp Show Donations: $sabrinaperozzo

The Declutter Hub Podcast
226 How do I ask for help with my clutter?

The Declutter Hub Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later Jan 27, 2023 33:19


Have you ever been in a position where someone has offered to help you with your decluttering project? Sometimes it's the best thing in the world, but often it leaves you feeling out of control and bereft. In this podcast we're going to talk about why.Mentioned in this episode:Getting your family on board with declutteringAbout the Declutter Hub Podcast We're Ingrid and Lesley and are super excited you're here!If you're sick to the back teeth of clutter dictating your home life then we are here to help you get control back and spend your valuable time doing the things you want and not shuffling piles of stuff around 24/7.We have been decluttering and organising homes face to face and online for over 24 years together and have helped thousands of members and clients to regain the home of their dreams. We have a passion for people, practicality, and piles of paper and love nothing better than to carve out solutions for anyone overwhelmed with clutter. If that's you, you're in the right place.Our podcast is packed with actionable tips, inspiration and motivation to get your decluttering done. We believe decluttering is all about emotions first, stuff second.Tune in, subscribe and enjoy! New episodes every Friday.Get in touchWe'd love to hear from you. We have so many ways that you can reach out to us to say hello.Our Free Facebook Group - The Declutter Hub Community - emotions based declutteringInstagram - @declutterhubWebsite - Declutterhub.comOur Membership - members.declutterhub.comEmail - support@declutterhub.comDonate & Support the PodcastWe have set ourselves up on Buy Me A Coffee, meaning that if you enjoy the podcast and our episodes you can give us a one-off donation to support us. We are totally committed to our free weekly content but if you would like to show us some love, that would be most appreciated.Buy Me A CoffeeCan you spare 5 minutes of your day to leave us a review? Your reviews mean the podcast can be found more easily which in turn will mean more people can get the benefit of our decluttering advice. You can share a review on your chosen podcast player. Don't forget to hit follow or subscribe too. The Declutter Hub 2023

RealPositiveGirl - Weekly Encouragement & Mental Health
How to Know You're Insecure - Understanding Insecurities

RealPositiveGirl - Weekly Encouragement & Mental Health

Play Episode Listen Later Jan 23, 2023 37:40 Transcription Available


Sometimes we don't even realize we are experiencing insecurities because what we are going through feels so normal or not a big deal. But the sooner we determine what we are struggling with, the sooner we can take action to manage it. Here are 5 signs you're struggling with feeling insecure.Show Notes:Being insecure was like a past time for me growing up. We all know I was a hard core people pleaser, but beyond that, I also believed more of what people told me about myself than what I thought of myself. I lacked confidence & self-esteem, so there were very few opportunities for me to feel good about something I did or could do. Even now, I do feel insecure about creating something or doing something that I think could be helpful that wasn't requested. But I try to remember that even if one person doesn't find something helpful doesn't mean someone else won't. And when I am feeling unworthy or less than or like I don't matter, I try to examine what is contributing to feeling this way and whether or not this is a true insecurity or something that is fleeting.When you are dealing with a true insecurity, you feel doubt, fear or uncertainty about yourself. And having these feelings from time to time is no big deal and totally normal. But if you find it becoming something that weighs heavily on you and you think about it often or is getting in the way of you actually doing things and stepping out of your comfort zone, you're gonna need to address it so it doesn't cause ongoing issues for you.You are probably struggling with being insecure if you:Feel inadequateOften feel jealous or enviousAre highly critical of yourselfFear rejectionAre a people pleaser and/or perfectionistInsecurities can become something harder to manage when it's combined with comparison. We can feel insecure about the way we sing because we have been told it's not the best or it doesn't sound the same as others. But when you couple that with thinking it NEEDS to be the same as someone else's, you are really rooting in the insecurity. If you're unsure how to tell if you struggle with being insecure or not, then you're in luck because it's exactly what we are going to talk about today. This episode will share tips on how to determine if you're struggling with insecurity and the next episode at the end of the week will go over how to manage your insecurities so those don't end up controlling you.Here are 5 signs of someone struggling with being insecure:You can't feel good about yourself until you brag about yourself to others.You often undercut other people's opinions. You allow past experiences to dictate future ones.You're defensive. You're negative about what you're doing and/or what others are doing.Thank you SO MUCH for listening, downloading & sharing the show! I appreciate every single one of you!Support the showSupport the Show on Patreon: patreon.com/realpositivegirlPlanner Now on AMAZON!: https://amzn.to/3WwthT2Get the NEW PLANNER-JOURNAL!! https://www.sabrinajoy.com/mindsetshopVisit me on Instagram or TikTok: @sabrinajoyperozzoTwitter: @realsabrinajoyEmail Me: realpositivegirlpodcast@gmail.com Sign up for my weekly newsletter https://www.sabrinajoy.com/newsletterCashApp Show Donations: $sabrinaperozzo

Aid for Aid Workers
When and How to Ask for Help

Aid for Aid Workers

Play Episode Listen Later Jan 23, 2023 19:42


It's not always easy to ask others for help.  It can make us feel vulnerable, incompetent or we don't want to burden someone else. And yet, there are times when it is actually our responsibility to ask for help. I am talking about when to ask your supervisor for help. Many of the leaders I work with are reluctant to ask for help, when it is obvious they need it and that doing so would alleviate a lot of worry and anxiety. In this episode I discuss when is it appropriate for you to ask for help from your supervisor, and how can you feel more comfortable doing it?  I also share how to make it more comfortable for your team to ask you for help. Related episodes: How Saying No Makes You More of a Team Player  

Ag State of Mind with Jason Medows
ASOM Ep 169 - Be a Good Beginner

Ag State of Mind with Jason Medows

Play Episode Listen Later Jan 22, 2023


We are about 1 month into the new year. Lots of us are being put to the test on our New Year's Resolutions. Maybe some of you have committed to learning a new skill. Last week, I read an article in Horse & Rider magazine titled "Be A Good Beginner." It it, it listed 5 attributes of what it takes to be a good beginner. 1)Be a Learner 2) Ask For Help 3) Be Goal Oriented 4) Be Willing to Work 5) Know When to have fun. Using this as a framework can be very helpful in doing all the things it takes to be successful at learning a new skill. We are never too old to learn something new. We just have to be patient and humble. Sign up for my newsletter at https://www.subscribepage.com/agstateofmindmorningroutine

RealPositiveGirl - Weekly Encouragement & Mental Health
How to Manage Anxiety as a Mom - Tips for Dealing with Anxiety

RealPositiveGirl - Weekly Encouragement & Mental Health

Play Episode Listen Later Jan 20, 2023 30:21 Transcription Available


These tips may not be wildly different than ones I would give in a generalized chat about anxiety, but it's all about the perspective that we see our struggles through & how these tips can be shifted to serve us in that way. Here are 5 tips for managing anxiety as a mom.Show Notes:I sometimes blame myself for how badly my kiddo deals with anxiety because I truly believe she learned it from me. I did my best to put on a brave face anytime I was feeling anxious or heavy-hearted in some way, but I'm sure she still FELT it. Kids are SO GOOD at seeing right through you & finding the truth if you aren't careful. There were, for sure, times I just let my stress, frustrations and anxieties out for her to witness. And after any outburst that wasn't appropriate or the best choice, I also let her know afterward. Especially if that meant apologizing to her because I may have chosen to react instead of respond and took it out on her.s was such a good opportunity to teach real-life lessons & have honest conversations about how people act & how we should deal with that. I am very much a ‘let's learn in the moment' kind of mom. More often than not I am talking about a lesson that can be learned in that experience. And that was really helpful when I would let an anxious moment spin out of control because I was able to show our kiddo how to recover.I'm not saying you should just let it all out & use it as an excuse to teach your kiddo something. It can't be like that all the time. We need to figure out what will help us manage our anxiety, even under the weight of everything we do as a mom. If you missed it, the episode that was released right before this one is all about some common causes of anxiety for moms. I talk about financial pressures, work-life balance, things like that because it's important to draw awareness to what's contributing to our struggles to better understand it & be able to manage it.Today I want to share some tips for actually managing anxiety as a mom. These tips aren't wildly different from what I would share with anyone else struggling with anxiety, but it's helpful to see your struggle through both your personal perspective and a wider, more generalized perspective.Here are 5 Tips for Managing Anxiety as a Mom:Prioritize Everything You Can.Work On Being More Present.Set Boundaries to Limit Overwhelming Commitments.Practice Self-Compassion.Make Having a Support System a Top Priority. Thank you so much for sharing the show & being dedicated to listening & downloading. I appreciate it so much & am really grateful for you all.Support the showSupport the Show on Patreon: patreon.com/realpositivegirlGet the NEW PLANNER-JOURNAL!! https://www.sabrinajoy.com/mindsetshop Visit me on Instagram or TikTok: @sabrinajoyperozzo Email Me: realpositivegirlpodcast@gmail.com Sign up for my weekly newsletter https://www.sabrinajoy.com/newsletter Join the Text Community: Text @realpos to 81010 and you're in!CashApp Show Donations: $sabrinaperozzo

RealPositiveGirl - Weekly Encouragement & Mental Health
Struggle with Anxiety as a Mom - The Causes of Anxiety in Motherhood

RealPositiveGirl - Weekly Encouragement & Mental Health

Play Episode Listen Later Jan 16, 2023 43:09 Transcription Available


Anxiety can be a struggle for anyone, but it can be helpful to drill down on why anxiety is a struggle by seeing it from your specific perspective. This is why we have 5 possible reasons why moms struggle with anxiety & seeing it from the motherhood experience.Show Notes:I had already struggled with anxiety before becoming a mother. It was something I dealt with because of my need to fit in & measure up to what everyone else was doing. But when I became a mother, my anxiety did increase a considerable amount.It was more induced by not knowing exactly how to be the best mom I could be to this little being that joined us in the world. I had studied child psychology in school because I was on pace to become a child psychologist, but just because you read all the books and even have time watching & bringing up other kids doesn't mean you will know exactly what to do with your own kid.So for me, my pre-existing anxiety turned into something greater and a little harder to deal with.Anxiety is a big deal for anyone that struggles with it. There is no categorized group of people that struggle more or less, it's all just in a different way. But I think it's important to speak on those differences and how anxiety can become a struggle, depending on the perspective you're coming from in that season of life. And taking a look at anxiety through the motherhood perspective can be helpful in understanding where it could be coming from & how it's still sticking around and/or getting worse.I honestly can't tell you how the idea of speaking on having anxiety as mom came to be, but I remember sitting on the couch in my living room and it popped into my head and I immediately started researching it. And as I was thinking over it more and more, I realized it could be a really great episode to speak on and better understand why moms struggle with anxiety and what to do to manage it.Today, I am going to talk about some of the reasons moms can struggle with anxiety. The next episode will be about how to manage anxiety as a mom.Let's get into 5 possible reasons moms struggle with anxiety:Financial Pressures Social Expectations of Being a MomPrevious Trauma/ExperiencesWork-Life Balance Lack of SleepThank you SO MUCH for listen, downloading & sharing!I also appreciate any way you decide to support me, whether financially or socially by sharing the show with others.You're all amazing!Support the showSupport the Show on Patreon: patreon.com/realpositivegirlGet the NEW PLANNER-JOURNAL!! https://www.sabrinajoy.com/mindsetshop Visit me on Instagram or TikTok: @sabrinajoyperozzo Email Me: realpositivegirlpodcast@gmail.com Sign up for my weekly newsletter https://www.sabrinajoy.com/newsletter Join the Text Community: Text @realpos to 81010 and you're in!CashApp Show Donations: $sabrinaperozzo

RealPositiveGirl - Weekly Encouragement & Mental Health
How to Trust Your Gut - Learning to Trust Yourself

RealPositiveGirl - Weekly Encouragement & Mental Health

Play Episode Listen Later Jan 13, 2023 37:11 Transcription Available


Instead of relying on others to tell you what you should do & being addicted to external validation, it's best to develop trust in yourself to know what decision is best for you, even if it turns out to not be exactly correct. Here are 5 tips on how to start trusting yourself.Show Notes:I used to have this bad habit of asking so many people for advice to figure out what I should do in life. And yes, it was definitely a symptom of being a people pleaser, but it was also a lack of confidence and trust in myself. It's also an offshoot of external validation. And if you want to learn more about letting go of the need for external validation, listen to episode 367 of the podcast because it's the perfect jumpstart for that.When you rely on others to validate you, you learn to not trust yourself. You learn to dismiss your own gut feelings and trust whatever other people say because it feels safer, but also feels more reliable coming from people you allow to pass judgment on you & who's opinions you allow to control you.Yes, I know, that might have come off a little strong, but let's not pretend we aren't leaning in the wrong direction sometimes. Regardless, let's acknowledge what is true and move forward in doing what is necessary to become our best selves in this moment.You might think it's easier to just rely on others to lead you in the right direction & trust in what THEY say you should do. And you're right, it IS easier, but it also causes issues at the same time. The more you rely on others to decide things for you, the less you'll rely on yourself to make decisions and the harder it will be to turn that train around. To get back to trusting yourself. To return to a mindset that is ok with taking a chance on your own gut/instinct and accepting the possibility that a mistake or failure might occur. Learning to trust yourself is integral to making decisions easier, building up your own confidence and even being trusted more by others. When others see the trust you have in yourself, it exudes confidence and belief in what you're doing. And since you're not questioning it, they don't feel the need to question it. Self-trust also leads to stronger self-understanding. We can better understand the reasons we do certain things and become more honest with ourselves in what we're struggling with & what needs to happen next to become better. Just as someone else decides to be vulnerable & transparent with you about something, leading to more trust because they are being authentic, it works the same way with ourselves. It's the self-awareness that starts to question WHY we are fearful and discover what insecurities are getting in our way that will help us grow and start to trust ourselves more.Here are 5 tips on How to Start Trusting Yourself:Abide by Your Personal Boundaries. Validate Your Own Feelings & Needs. Let Go of What/Who Doesn't Serve You or Harms You. Reflect on Times You Have Trusted Yourself. Learn from Mistakes & Failures. Support the showSupport the Show on Patreon: patreon.com/realpositivegirlGet the NEW PLANNER-JOURNAL!! https://www.sabrinajoy.com/mindsetshop Visit me on Instagram or TikTok: @sabrinajoyperozzo Email Me: realpositivegirlpodcast@gmail.com Sign up for my weekly newsletter https://www.sabrinajoy.com/newsletter Join the Text Community: Text @realpos to 81010 and you're in!CashApp Show Donations: $sabrinaperozzo

Mother's Guide Through Autism
How to Ask for Help!

Mother's Guide Through Autism

Play Episode Listen Later Jan 12, 2023 21:35


It is so hard for many moms to ask for help, even when they need it desperately!Oftentimes, they'd rather do it themselves than to have to deal with guilt, disappointment, and feeling rejected. But the thing is, you can't do it alone on this autism parenting journey. I'm going to show you how to shift the negative feelings that come with asking for help so that you can get the help you need on your journey. Enjoy!Purchase my book A Mother's Guide Through Autism:https://amzn.to/3mO1fmSSign up to get news and updates from me: https://www.mothersguidethroughautism.comTheme song: Look at the Clouds by Tristan Lohengrinhttps://soundcloud.com/tristanlohengrin/look-at-the-clouds

Daybreak Drive-IN
January 12, 2023: Police ask for help after deadly I-65 shooting

Daybreak Drive-IN

Play Episode Listen Later Jan 12, 2023 2:30


ALSO: Trash can argument spirals to shooting of officer... Pacers lose game and key playerSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Power In The Granny Gear
Part 2: When Life Takes an Unexpected Turn, Don't be Afraid to Ask for Help

Power In The Granny Gear

Play Episode Listen Later Jan 11, 2023 45:23


In this episode of Power in the Granny Gear, the Grannies speak with featured guest, Andrew Hyatt. Andrew tells a tragic story about the day his life took an unexpected turn and what he has done to recover and persevere from the event.*** Disclaimer - This episode has content related to crime, trauma, and mental health disorders. ***instagram: @powerinthegrannygearfacebook: Power in the Granny Gear Podcastemail: powerinthegrannygear@gmail.com

Talaera Talks - Business English Communication
79. How to Ask for Help Professionally - Talaera Bits

Talaera Talks - Business English Communication

Play Episode Listen Later Jan 10, 2023 11:58 Transcription Available


Asking for help at work can be very scary. And yet, the vast majority of people who do great work (and get awarded for it) ask for advice and help from others. In this episode, Simon walks us through the different steps one should take to ask for help professionally.Get the summary on this LinkedIn post: https://www.linkedin.com/feed/update/urn:li:activity:7019224405096509440- Business English Training- Free communication webinars- hello@talaera.com

Sober Solutions Podcast
Episode 61: Dude, Ask for Help! with Ben C. from Rhinebeck, NY

Sober Solutions Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later Jan 10, 2023 40:28


“Recovery can be just asking for help and even in asking for help, especially when asking for help, we suddenly open ourselves to receive unbelievable gifts…” On this week's episode, we chat with Ben C. who you may remember as the “Dude, you're getting a Dell” guy. He talks about the importance of asking for help and the power we receive in accepting help. We can't - and don't have to - do this alone. Our recovery community is here to help us when we can't help ourselves and there's no shame in asking for help. Connect with Ben through his Instagram @bencurtisofficial or his LinkTree at https://linktr.ee/bencurtis To hear previous episodes, check us out on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, Amazon Music (Alexa), Google, or other streaming services as well as on our YouTube channel. We thank you for joining us on this journey through recovery! Please like, subscribe, and review our show by connecting with us on your platform of choice by using our LinkTree (https://linktr.ee/sobersolutionspodcast). We'd love to hear your thoughts!

RealPositiveGirl - Weekly Encouragement & Mental Health
How to Become More Likable - Being Approachable & Friendly

RealPositiveGirl - Weekly Encouragement & Mental Health

Play Episode Listen Later Jan 9, 2023 32:43 Transcription Available


There is a difference between NEEDING to be liked & wanting to be likable. One is based on wanting to develop relationships & the other is more based in people pleasing behaviors & mindsets. Here are 6 tips on how to become more likable.Show Notes:Let me start by saying that I don't mean this in a people pleaser-y type of way AT ALL. There is a difference between needing to be liked and wanting to be likable.When you NEED to be liked, you are desperate and really doing anything you can to convince and manipulate others into liking you, even if it's just surface level. But when you want to be likable, you want to be someone that is approachable and open and truly being themselves. Being likable means you aren't trying to be someone you aren't. When you need to be liked, you will become whoever you need to be to get the likes. Similar to people pleasing.It's often not until someone else brings it up that we realize we are not as likable as we think. It can also happen when we start to realize the people we try to be friends with don't really reciprocate those feelings. This isn't ALWAYS true, but sometimes it is.We might not be as likable as we think. This can happen when we have managed to gain friends and/or partners as we currently are and don't see anything that needs changing. Or we don't consider any behavior and/or mindset changes we have had recently and can't see that we are different than we were when we created connections easier.One of the biggest things I know I struggle with is Resting B Face. It's that face where you look stone cold unapproachable and like if you do approach, it won't be a fun time. And usually it's not because you are angry or mad or whatever. For me, I usually look this way because I'm thinking deeply or unsure of what is going to happen next, so I don't really have any emotion.Regardless of what the reason is for you feeling or knowing you're not likable, it's something most people want to adjust so they can have relationships and live a fuller life with connections and people in it.Here are 6 tips on how to become more likable:Be interested in others genuinely. Be your authentic self.Don't be attention-seeking. Be caring to others.Be confident in yourself. Don't always be a downer. I really appreciate everyone for listening, downloading & sharing the show. Thank you!Support the showGet the NEW PLANNER-JOURNAL!! https://www.sabrinajoy.com/mindsetshop Visit me on Instagram or TikTok: @sabrinajoyperozzo Email Me: realpositivegirlpodcast@gmail.com Sign up for my weekly newsletter https://www.sabrinajoy.com/newsletter! Join the Text Community: Text @realpos to 81010 and you're in!

Fried. The Burnout Podcast
#straightfromcait: How to Ask for Help

Fried. The Burnout Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later Jan 8, 2023 25:04


Is asking for help something that makes you feel very uncomfortable? Do you struggle with figuring out your needs, feeling safe when asking for help, and with actually accepting the help that is offered? Contrary to what many of us like to believe, we cannot do everything on our own. People need each other. In today's #straightfromcait episode, Cait, host and burnout speaker, talks about how to ask for help.    Asking for help opens the door for other perspectives and possibilities you may not have been able to see on your own and also increases your access to resources, which in turn increases your resilience. However, it does not come naturally to everyone. People have this warped idea that asking for help is a sign of weakness or would somehow be an inconvenience to others. The best way to get better at asking for help is to practice. Start practicing asking for help in safe low-stakes situations until you feel more comfortable with the concept. Small daily asks like asking for a glass of water, having someone hold the door open for you, or simply borrowing a pencil can help train your body that asking for help is actually safe.    We are all interconnected and rely on each other for a functioning society. It is important for people to be able to ask each other for help and to feel safe in doing so. No one can succeed purely on their own all the time and trying to do everything by yourself will likely lead to burnout. Learn how to get more comfortable with asking for help, how to determine your needs, and how to accept the help that is offered.    Quotes • “I want you to be able to take this year, use it for practicing asking for help, and do it so often that by the time we get to 2024 asking for help is so natural to you that you forgot that you ever really sucked at it.” (2:09-2:26 | Cait)  • “Asking for help is the only behavior that's even known to increase your resilience by way of increasing your access to resources.” (3:07-3:15 | Cait) • “When you're burnt out, different perspectives and possibilities can be really hard to see, and simply asking for help increases your ability to see possibility, as well as opens the door for other people to present options that you might not have thought of yet.” (7:04-7:20 | Cait) • “My favorite way to figure out where you need help and support and boundaries is to look toward the anger group of emotions, specifically resentment, but including anger, irritation, frustration, annoyance. The anger group is where we find so much great information.” (10:01-10:17 | Cait) • “If you find yourself crowdsourcing for an opinion and nothing fits, I might want you to dig a little deeper to find out if you're completely help resistant. And if you are, it might be time for a coach or a therapist, right? Because we need to find a way to actually get the help in. If you're not going to let any of it in then asking for it is useless.” (14:52-15:12 | Cait) • “Try practicing small asks to gain comfort with the act of asking. We have spoken at length about the fact that burnout recovery requires feelings of safety and asking can feel unsafe. So it is imperative that you ask with training wheels on before you hop on your bike and ride through the streets without a helmet.” (19:47-20:08 | Cait) • “Learning to ask for help by starting small isn't just about your burnout. It's about your humanness. It's about interconnectedness, it's about not buying into and adding to individualistic burnout culture. It's about squashing this idea that alone equals better, and it's about finding ways to protect your long term health starting today.” (23:43-24:07 | Cait) Links  https://cuely.ai/FRIED https://bearaby.com https://caitdonovan.com/resentment-journal https://friedtheburnoutpodcast.com/ https://facebook.com/groups/friedtheburnoutpodcast XOXO, C   If you know that it's time to actually DO something about the burnout cycle you've been in for too long - book your free consult today: bit.ly/callcait   https://friedtheburnoutpodcast.com/quiz   Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm

RealPositiveGirl - Weekly Encouragement & Mental Health
How to Leave Your Pain in the Past - Allow Yourself to Be Free

RealPositiveGirl - Weekly Encouragement & Mental Health

Play Episode Listen Later Jan 6, 2023 27:23 Transcription Available


Instead of allowing your past pains & traumas to hold you hostage & get in your way of achieving new goals & having new experiences, decide to let these pains stay in the past & not be the reason you don't move forward in life. Here are 5 tips that will help you do this.Show Notes:I wanted to bring this topic up because as we enter a new year, as important as it is to focus on new goals & opportunities we are embarking on, it's ALSO important to not drag unnecessary baggage & pain from the past into this new year.Maybe you don't feel the need to have a fresh start altogether, but at least a clean slate for the moment will make it a whole lot easier to achieve your new goals & not spend too much time on things you cannot change. You cannot change what happened in the past. You can only learn & grow from it, then move on.When we grasp too tightly to our past pains & tough experiences, these things can hold us captive & it can feel like it's taking over our whole lives. It's as if these things that happened however long ago are STILL happening because you are constantly reliving the pain. And sometimes we believe that by going over what happened & reliving it, we are somehow fixing what happened or going to find a way out by still continuing to go through it. And I know most often the only way forward is through, but in the case of past trauma and pain, you don't have to go through it by reliving to move forward. You can deal with it and then be done.Holding onto your pain makes the journey of moving forward so much heavier & harder. This is why I want to share with you 5 ways to leave your pain in the past, so you can live in the present & look forward to your future. How to leave your pain in the past:Honor & Accept Your Feelings About the Experience Create Distance - Mentally & Physically Let Go of Your Need for Apologies & UnderstandingMake Room for the NewTake Responsibility for Your PartI appreciate every single one of you that listens!Thank you so much!Support the showGet the NEW PLANNER-JOURNAL!! https://www.sabrinajoy.com/mindsetshop Visit me on Instagram or TikTok: @sabrinajoyperozzo Email Me: realpositivegirlpodcast@gmail.com Sign up for my weekly newsletter https://www.sabrinajoy.com/newsletter! Join the Text Community: Text @realpos to 81010 and you're in!

Everyday Positivity
It Is OK To Ask For Help

Everyday Positivity

Play Episode Listen Later Jan 5, 2023 1:04


Follow Everyday Positivity On Instagram

The Christin Morris Show
106- 4 Reasons why you might be Struggling to Ask for Help

The Christin Morris Show

Play Episode Listen Later Jan 4, 2023 22:14


Get honest with yourself about what you need. This may force you to gain better clarity on what you're doing and if it's honestly working or not. I want you to know you are not alone and it's ok to ask for support. --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/christin-morris/support

Career Dreams
044: Ask For Help, Prioritize, Find Perspective

Career Dreams

Play Episode Listen Later Jan 3, 2023 27:16


While Michelle and Chase take some time off for the holidays, they are taking turns looking back at some of their favorite episodes so far. Chase reflects on Episode 17 - Feeling Overwhelmed, Now What?  A new year can feel overwhelming - resolutions, goal setting, wrapping up the year prior. How do you best combat feeling overwhelmed or when you're managing competing priorities? This episode shares three tips for helping us work through this question.  Resources: Article: 3 ways to feel less overwhelmed (CUInsight) Article: How to take care of yourself when you're feeling overwhelmed (Mental Health First Aid) Like it? Share it! If you're finding value in exploring your Career Dreams through this podcast, please share it with your friends, followers and colleagues! Also, your ratings and reviews help others find the show...so please, let us know what you think! You can share your Career Dreams with us anytime via email: careerdreams@forumcu.com. To learn more about making your Career Dreams come true at FORUM Credit Union, visit our website:  https://www.forumcu.com/careers Dream on!

Lets Be Honest Before We Start Pretending
Resolutions vs. Lifestyle Choices with Paige Killian

Lets Be Honest Before We Start Pretending

Play Episode Listen Later Jan 2, 2023 50:50


It's a new year and it's a NEW Season, welcome to Season 4. We're talking about 3 steps to make better, intentional lifestyle choices versus the typical New Year's resolutions. My special guest, professional organizer, brilliant speaker, and personal friend, the amazing Paige Killian joins me for our second crossover podcast episode more than two and a half years after our podcasts launched in 2020! We love strategizing and simplifying the process to reach our goals and outcomes. We're using The 3 E's Philosophy to focus on making productive lifestyle choices over those resolutions that tend to fizzle out a few weeks after we make them. Essential: Take the Lead Enhancement: Ask for HelpExtra: Share with Others We address those excuses that may arise like lack of time, money, or motivation. This is real life after all, but what's personal is universal. That means you're not alone!Join us in thoughtfully declaring our plans, hopes, dreams, goals, and outcomes for this year, as we focus on our purpose and how we can get there together! Ready to level up your results in 2023?Join Coach Kelly on January 11, 12, 13th for an exciting challenge...The Empower(her) Results 3 Day Challenge is designed to help you make decisions using tips/tools/strategies from The LIFT Method that will have you acting with clear intention instead of waiting.Register Here Here are the highlights from this episode:{7:39} Swap your resolutions for declarations{14:01} Expect the unexpected{18:22} We are at choice every second of every day{26:48} Ask for help{32:21} Clear the clutter to see the blessings{37:38} What's personal is universal{42:52} Add The LIFT Method to your life Mentioned on this episode:Ep 1: The 3 E's Philosophy on Paige's podcastEp 2: No Such Thing As Balance with Paige Killian on Kelly's podcastEp 7: The Essential Purge on Paige's podcastEp 60: Ask For Help on Paige's podcastEp 83: The Lessons-Why, Oh Why on Kelly's podcastEp 85: The Lessons Part 7- “Ask For Help” on Kelly's podcastShare your Curiosity Challenges, learnings, and any questions Connect with Paige here:The Mom's Organization Motivation YouTube ChannelSUBSCRIBE now with this link and be sure to hit the little bell to be notified when the next video airs every...

RealPositiveGirl - Weekly Encouragement & Mental Health
How to Plan Your Best Year - Being Open to Change & Growth This Year

RealPositiveGirl - Weekly Encouragement & Mental Health

Play Episode Listen Later Jan 2, 2023 42:57 Transcription Available


After you create your goals for the year, let me give you 5 tips on how to plan for your best year & accomplish those goals, while also being mentally flexible & open to change.Show Notes:I used to believe you had to have everything so ready to go at the top of the year for everything else to work out.  It felt like, if you didn't know what was supposed to happen every step of the way, you were destined to fail. It's as if everything was hinging on all these decisions & commitments at the beginning of the year.When in reality, so many changes & shifts can happen at each stage of whatever you're working on, that will require you to refocus, replan and shift your perspective in a new direction. It's important for us to recognize that change happens and it's not something to run from or to fear. And oftentimes, change is an opportunity to shift into a better direction and towards something we didn't realize would be better and more suited that season of life.So, when we go into creating goals and intentions at the top of the year, it's important to acknowledge that the plan we create can and probably will change and we should be flexible and open-minded when that happens.Not everything is going to fall apart because we have to go in a different direction or realize what we wanted isn't something we want now. It's also not something you need to feel guilt or shame over. Mistakes and failures are life's best learning lessons. We learn just as much, if not more, from the experiences that don't go as planned as the things that work out.Today I wanted to talk about how we can set our mindset up for success by creating a plan for the year that allows us to accomplish our goals, while also allowing us to grow & develop into our best selves with less resistance toward the unknown.Here are 5 tips on How to Plan Your Best Year with Mental Flexibility:Create Monthly Check-InsCelebrate Every Progression & Milestone Decide What You Need to Let Go ofDon't Compare This Year to Years PastPush Through the Pain & Don't Give UpThank you so much for listening, downloading & sharing!Happy New Year to you all!Check out episode 455 on How to Create Your Best Goals for the Year.Support the showGet the NEW PLANNER-JOURNAL!! https://www.sabrinajoy.com/mindsetshop Visit me on Instagram or TikTok: @sabrinajoyperozzo Email Me: realpositivegirlpodcast@gmail.com Sign up for my weekly newsletter https://www.sabrinajoy.com/newsletter! Join the Text Community: Text @realpos to 81010 and you're in!

Total Information AM
John Hancock had to ask for help to get a bird out of house

Total Information AM

Play Episode Listen Later Dec 30, 2022 56:25


Here is a surprise -- Michael Kelley is out of town so John Hancock is joined by Debbie Monterrey they start the show talking about dogs getting out and Hancock has a story about when a bird got in his house. Next, Southwest Airlines says they will get back on track today, George Santos and sports betting. Michael Kelley joins the show from Florida. Hancock and Monterrey discuss Josh Hawley and Ukraine staying strong against Russia. Many people have started doing dry January. Finally, making New Year's resolutions.

The Power of Purpose Podcast with Judy Carter
Episode 151 – How to ask for help in 2023

The Power of Purpose Podcast with Judy Carter

Play Episode Listen Later Dec 30, 2022 22:35


In their final episode of 2022, Judy and Jason discuss the RIGHT way to ask for help in your comedy career. Tips include how to reach out to potential mentors, what to say, how to say it, and what to do with that help when you get it. Happy New Year!

RealPositiveGirl - Weekly Encouragement & Mental Health
How to Create Better Goals for the New Year - Resolutions & Intentions

RealPositiveGirl - Weekly Encouragement & Mental Health

Play Episode Listen Later Dec 30, 2022 45:10 Transcription Available


It's easy to write down a list of things that would be NICE to accomplish and that would impress others. But wouldn't it be BETTER if you created goals you actually accomplished? Here are 5 tips on how to create better goals that are beneficial & easier to accomplish.Show Notes:I enjoy goal setting & thinking ahead on how to achieve dreams & ambitions, but a lot of the time I will take on too much and not be as organized as I could about it. I also don't do the work of considering how I want to feel at the end of the year if I have actually achieved my goals. And often, I wouldn't even TRULY believe I would achieve my goals, but really hang onto hope & fake belief that it would all just come together. But nothing really comes together if you don't have a good plan with multiple steps & ways to ramp up the progress & reflect on milestones achieved. If you say you're going to start a business in the next year, but don't have the intention & action to create a business plan, research start-up costs & have checkpoints to hit, you're not gonna start a business. You might actually waste a lot of time and money with nothing to show for it.And I know some people don't believe in new years resolutions or setting goals at the top of the year because of fake statistics that say people give up in the first month or so. And maybe your reasons are different for why you don't believe in this practice, but either way, I encourage you to consider thinking about goal setting in a different way.Think about it more in a way to keep yourself accountable to actually starting a goal (especially if you're one of those people that say you're gonna do something but never do) and allowing the newness of the year to breathe fresh life & hope into you, while simultaneously allowing the past year to become less of a burden & worry for you.So, in today's episode, we are going to talk about how to CREATE our goals and in the next episode will be how to actually work on these goals and better plan your life over the next year. Here are 5 tips on how to create goals & resolutions for New Year's that are worth creating:Don't feel forced to start on Day 1.Ask yourself how you want to feel after you accomplish this goal. Know your reasons for achieving the goal.Come up with your goal, then break it down into the smallest steps possible. Don't be afraid to change your mind. Thanks so much for listening to this episode! I really appreciate you!Support the showGet the NEW PLANNER-JOURNAL!! https://www.sabrinajoy.com/mindsetshop Visit me on Instagram or TikTok: @sabrinajoyperozzo Email Me: realpositivegirlpodcast@gmail.com Sign up for my weekly newsletter https://www.sabrinajoy.com/newsletter! Join the Text Community: Text @realpos to 81010 and you're in!

Grace, Grit & Glow Podcast with Nikki Tang, Beautypreneur

Are you scared to ask for help for fear of looking incompetent or maybe it could be because of pride? Whatever it is, this self-handicapping behavior can sabotage your chances of success. While it is good to protect our self-esteem, it can also come at a high cost. Asking for help as a sign of weakness is a misconception because in reality it is a hallmark of a mature and resilient learner. In fact, the number one benefit in asking for help is RESILIENCE. If we are able to ask for help and obtain feedback, we can overcome setbacks and grow – one of the key traits needed to enhance our resilience. Be in the know why it is good to ask for help by listening to the very end. In this episode of Grace, Grit, and Glow, you will learn: Why do people avoid asking for help? (...What are their reasons?) What are the benefits in asking for help? How do we know when to ask for help? Why do women find it hard to ask for help? Resources: Past episodes mentioned by Nikki: “You Are Not a Fraud, Overcoming Imposter Syndrome” “Setting Boundaries with Confidence and Ease” Connect with Nikki Tang: Linked In - https://www.linkedin.com/in/nikkitang/ Website - https://www.iamnikkitang.com/ Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/NikkiTangofficial Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/nikkitangofficial Facebook Group - https://www.facebook.com/groups/beautyandbeyondwithnikkitang Beautypreneur: Website - https://beautypreneurph.com/ Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/beautypreneurph/ DMark Beauty: DMark Beauty Website - https://www.dmarkbeauty.com/ Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/dmarkbeauty/ Derm Asia Corp: Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/DermAsiaCorp/ Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/dermasiacorp

RealPositiveGirl - Weekly Encouragement & Mental Health
How to Disagree With Others Respectfully & Confidently

RealPositiveGirl - Weekly Encouragement & Mental Health

Play Episode Listen Later Dec 26, 2022 29:36 Transcription Available


Instead of getting in a fight or not sharing your opinion at all because of not knowing how to do it respectfully or with confidence, take these 5 tips on how to disagree with others with respect & still owning your opinion & perspective.Show Notes:I was sharing with my therapist this week that I am was really proud of myself for being confident in my own perspective & opinion while participating in a group discussion online. I often am the person that will fall to someone else's opinion because they come across as an authority figure or they say enough things to down play my opinion that I, too, render it useless. But this week I did not! I stood up for my thoughts & opinions in discussion, all while being respectful & open-minded.And this was a big deal for me! It also lined up with what I was focusing on this week, which was ‘acting as if' I were confident in most things I do. I struggle with confidence a lot because of my people-pleasing issues, but it's something I want to work on & become a lot better at. So I set it as my goal to pretend (or as my therapist calls it, “acting as is.”) I was confident & live my life like that. It was a pretty good experiment that yielded positive results, so we are repeating for the next 2 weeks. But the point of this podcast isn't to recount my entire therapy session, but to share with you what this taught me about disagreeing with others & doing so respectfully.Whether we are confident or not, it can feel difficult to disagree with someone and do it respectfully because of how their point of view leads us to feel or the way they are coming across or even knowing they are incorrect in what they are saying. Whatever the reason, we can struggle with this, which can lead to bigger blowouts & uncomfortable situations.But I can tell you from recent experience that being able to express how you think & feel, without it coming across as aggressive or rude (unless the receiver decides to see it that way, nothing we can do about that) is such an amazing feeling. And I think talking about this during this time of year of getting together for the holidays can be really helpful when having discussions or casual chats.Here are 5 tips of How to Disagree Respectfully With Others:Use ‘I' statements when you share your opinion.Don't let your emotions control you. Choose to respond, not react.Don't put down or make fun of their opinion.Practice active listening skills. Hear them out.Know when to move on from the topic at hand.Thank you SO MUCH for listening, downloading & sharing this episode and ANY episode of the show. You are GREATLY appreciated!  Thanks!Support the showGet the NEW PLANNER-JOURNAL!! https://www.sabrinajoy.com/mindsetshop Visit me on Instagram or TikTok: @sabrinajoyperozzo Email Me: realpositivegirlpodcast@gmail.com Sign up for my weekly newsletter https://www.sabrinajoy.com/newsletter! Join the Text Community: Text @realpos to 81010 and you're in!

Simply Healthy You
When to Ask For Help With Your Health

Simply Healthy You

Play Episode Listen Later Dec 23, 2022 36:16 Transcription Available


Sometimes when you're in the throws of your life with a lot going on it's hard to tell the difference between a reasonable level of being run down and what actually requires asking for help and support.Is your situation dire enough for you to need to actively start doing something about your health?So I thought in this episode I could help you break it down because it's one of the most common conversations I have with women.Get on my email list and download my free Eat Whole Foods on a Budget guide! https://change.simplyhealthykacey.com/budget-freebie/Contact Simply Healthy Kacey Apply for Simply Healthy Academy DM or tag us on Instagram @simplyhealthykacey Follow us on Facebook Simply Healthy Kacey Email us at simplyhealthykacey@gmail.com

Life After The Military
How to Find Mentors and Ask for Help

Life After The Military

Play Episode Listen Later Dec 22, 2022 73:21


In this new Pivotal Moments Media Charlie Mike Channel episode of Life After the Military, Lee and Howie speak with Navy Petty Officer First Class Mike Brown.Mike talks eloquently about the value of owning your own transition and starting your professional network early in your military career. Mike shares how he used LinkedIn as an effective tool to broaden and deepen his network. Even though he had to medically retire and did not have as much time as most to prepare, his early networking efforts helped him land softly in his post-military career.Mike also speaks about the importance of finding and using mentors who have recently navigated the military transition process to take advantage of their lessons learned.Although struggling with some mental health challenges, Mike candidly shares the value of seeking and asking for help and being there for others when they need someone to talk to. Find more transition advice and inspirational content at PivotalMomentsMedia.com

The Boss Lady Podcast
121. It is OKAY to Ask for Help.

The Boss Lady Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later Dec 22, 2022 29:02


Teresa is continuing her theme of preparing for next year. In this podcast, she has a conversation with Inez Nazario Vega, owner of Business Essentials VA, a virtual assistant company. Inez offers great advice and tips on how to know if you should hire a VA and how to interview them to get the right fit. Connect with our Guest, Inez! https://www.businessessentialsva.biz Connect with the Boss Lady Community: The Teresa Rand Consulting Website The Boss Lady Facebook Page Follow Teresa on Instagram

Sex, Drugs, and Jesus
Episode #83: Staying Sober In The LGBTQIA+ Community, Hiding Alcoholism & When To Ask For Help, With Dillan Gay, Host Of The Sober Gay Podcast

Sex, Drugs, and Jesus

Play Episode Listen Later Dec 22, 2022 56:19


INTRODUCTION: The Sober Gay is a podcast hosted by Dillan Gay with Aubrey Lee in Denver, Colorado. They explore a wide range of topics that relate back to a common theme: staying sober in a community that was designed to glorify alcohol.  INCLUDED IN THIS EPISODE (But not limited to): ·      Dillan's Journey Of Sobriety  ·      Our Opinion's On Anonymous Programs·      The Impact Of Accessibility To Alcohol On Sobriety ·      The Impact Of Community On Alcohol Use·      The Importance Of Perspective·      How Jealousy Plays A Role ·      Beware Of Routines·      FOMO·      Mental Health & Physical Health·      Sex Before And After Sobriety   CONNECT WITH DILLAN: Website: https://www.thesobergay.comInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/thesobergaypodcast/Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/thesobergayYouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@thesobergay7432  CONNECT WITH DE'VANNON: Website: https://www.SexDrugsAndJesus.comWebsite: https://www.DownUnderApparel.comYouTube: https://bit.ly/3daTqCMFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/SexDrugsAndJesus/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sexdrugsandjesuspodcast/Twitter: https://twitter.com/TabooTopixLinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/devannonPinterest: https://www.pinterest.es/SexDrugsAndJesus/_saved/Email: DeVannon@SexDrugsAndJesus.com  DE'VANNON'S RECOMMENDATIONS: ·      Pray Away Documentary (NETFLIX)o  https://www.netflix.com/title/81040370o  TRAILER: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tk_CqGVfxEs ·      OverviewBible (Jeffrey Kranz)o  https://overviewbible.como  https://www.youtube.com/c/OverviewBible ·      Hillsong: A Megachurch Exposed (Documentary)o  https://press.discoveryplus.com/lifestyle/discovery-announces-key-participants-featured-in-upcoming-expose-of-the-hillsong-church-controversy-hillsong-a-megachurch-exposed/ ·      Leaving Hillsong Podcast With Tanya Levino  https://leavinghillsong.podbean.com  ·      Upwork: https://www.upwork.com·      FreeUp: https://freeup.net VETERAN'S SERVICE ORGANIZATIONS ·      Disabled American Veterans (DAV): https://www.dav.org·      American Legion: https://www.legion.org ·      What The World Needs Now (Dionne Warwick): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FfHAs9cdTqg  INTERESTED IN PODCASTING OR BEING A GUEST?: ·      PodMatch is awesome! This application streamlines the process of finding guests for your show and also helps you find shows to be a guest on. The PodMatch Community is a part of this and that is where you can ask questions and get help from an entire network of people so that you save both money and time on your podcasting journey.https://podmatch.com/signup/devannon  TRANSCRIPT: Dillan Gay[00:00:00]You're listening to the sex drugs and Jesus podcast, where we discuss whatever the fuck we want to! And yes, we can put sex and drugs and Jesus all in the same bed and still be all right at the end of the day. My name is De'Vannon and I'll be interviewing guests from every corner of this world as we dig into topics that are too risqué for the morning show, as we strive to help you understand what's really going on in your life.There is nothing off the table and we've got a lot to talk about. So let's dive right into this episode.De'Vannon: Dylan Gay is a host of the Sober Gay podcast and he is here to open up about his fight in overcoming alcohol in their sobriety journey through the L LGBTQIA A plus community. Please join us today as we discuss the impact of alcohol on mental health, physical health, sexual health, and so much more.And feel free to reach out to me and let me know how alcohol has had an impact on your life. Thank [00:01:00] you so much and enjoy the show. Hello everyone. My name is Devana and I'd like to welcome you to the Sex Drugs in Jesus podcast. I got my homie Dylan Gay here with me today from the Sober Gay Podcast. And yes, gay is his real last name. He was at the start of each of his shows. How the fuck are you, my Dillan: friend? I'm wonderful. How are De'Vannon: you?I'm fantastic. Yes. Uh, We're recording this on Friday, the 9th of September. I got on my lsu. Tigers, Louisiana State University t-shirt. We start tailgating tomorrow. Ooh. Looking forward to stepping away from my Xbox and actually going out and talking to real humanoids. Yes, . . Dillan: You're out in the world again, , De'Vannon: right, and just doing a twirl.It's a great workout. Louisiana State University is a huge fucking campus, so it's a good [00:02:00]exercise day for. So so like I said, Dylan hosts the So Brigade podcast. The website is the, so brigade do com. You can catch them on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube. Primarily Instagram though. And today we're gonna be talking about Dylan's sobriety journey.So on my show I've taken, you know, everybody through my whole journey of, you know, you know, not doing drugs because of the church getting on of them after I got kicked out of the church. And that my dicey relationship with like crystal Meth Anonymous and the anonymous movement as a whole to my current hallucinogenic expiration.And, you know, I go back and forth, you know, with it. Making space for everything. But today I thought it would be great to get back to talking about, you know, sobriety and the people who are, you know, still in that camp though, I've broken away from that. So talk to me about why you started the podcast, what [00:03:00] led you to it, and give me like a synopsis of your sobriety.Dillan: So I started the show in right in the beginning of the pandemic. It was in April of 2020 or May. I started, so I was about three months sober at that time, and I really just needed an outlet and something to do because I didn't foresee as anyone else did the pandemic coming and much less, you know, three months into sobriety when you know, it's a very crucial time to be not worried about the world around you and just worried about yourself.I really didn't know what to do with myself. I was trying to find some kind of queer outlets or something I could relate to. All I could really find was female ran podcast that I could really feel relatable. I didn't feel any, you know, queer love from any like sobriety. [00:04:00] Topics, or, you know, anything, podcasts.So I was like, you know, let's just make one . So I made the sober gay very early in my sobriety. It was very like, kind of weird. Like I, I had a like, thought like, you know what, if this doesn't work out, I'm only three months into it, and here I, I'm making a show about it. But it actually worked out really nicely.Creates a chronological timeline of my beginning of sobriety up until almost three years of sobriety. So it's like you can start the show in the beginning and really feel where I'm at and watch how I grow into, you know, a better version of myself. And so what started my sobriety in general? I was, Drinking a lot.10, about 10 years. I started when I was about 17, 18, really heavy drinking every and heavy drinking. I mean, like [00:05:00] every day, even when I've got strep throat or when I'm really sick, I'm making sure I still can choke down, you know, three glasses of wine or four, you know what I mean? Like it was, and I'm sure you know, you as a.Addict understands what that's like. When even your body is sick and telling you to just rest, you're like, okay, I'll rest, but as long as I have a little bit of, you know what I need in my system, I can rest. And it just, you never fully give your body a chance to rest. And I was getting tired. It was 10 years into it and it was just a charade at that point.I had, I was 28 when I got sober and. I just remember getting wine and shots every night, and that was my, every single, every, every day thing go home by myself at that point. Because once you're that far into it, I had gotten very isolated just by myself and enjoying my habit. And it was one night I was, [00:06:00] it was December 14th, I was.going home, and I was like driving past the same liquor store that I'd always stop at and I said, you know what? I should just not stop at the liquor store and just go home and give myself, give my body a rest. I could use my, my body could use a rest and I couldn't do it. I literally, it was like, A force had taken over me and my, my hands held the steering wheel and pulled into the parking lot of the liquor store and I was screaming in the car audibly, screaming out loud, stop.What are you doing? Why are we doing this? Why are we stopping here? You can just go home. I was saying this like to myself, screaming it and I parked, got outta the car and it was literally felt like I was like in a video game and couldn't control my own vessel, like, and I was just walking to the liquor.I grabbed the bottle. Grabbed my shots, paid, went home, smiled at the cashier, left and went home, and I sat down. When I, as soon as I got home, I sat down and I said, okay, you got your stuff. [00:07:00] Let's do it in silence. No stimulation. I turned everything off. I made sure I put my phone away and I just wanted to sit there and get as hammered as I could and just experience it as fully as I could with no stimulation external.And it was a very, very horrible night for me. I mean, just sitting there in silence with myself and my thoughts, it was one of the first times I had been able to just sit with my thoughts without something drowning it out, and to be all drunk. It was just miserable. I was so sad. It's just, I felt all of the sensations, I felt dizzy.I, it's like things I had never felt from the alcohol before. So the next day, I said, no, I'm not gonna do it. I'm not going to the liquor store. And that was the first day. December 15th was the first day that I had said no, and I'm just not gonna do it anymore, and I'm just gonna go straight home [00:08:00] and throw myself in a bathtub.And I've been sober since. So that was kind of what really drew me into it was just how bad it had gotten. And I, I know I didn't. Say all the bad things that happened leading up to it, but I don't really need to. It had gotten to a point where it took over my body and it was all I could care about. So that's kind of the main gist of why I stopped and why I started the podcast.De'Vannon: Right. And you know that, that, that point of when it's too much varies per person. And we're gonna talk about later on, because one of the, the things of one of your shows was asking for help and, you know, and so, so we'll talk about, you know, when does that point come, you know, where you need help. But what I, but what I wanna ask you is, How did you stop?Did you use like alcoholics Anonymous, a rational recovery, some sort of program, or do you feel like you received the Divine Deliverance? [00:09:00]Dillan: I made my own little. Thing, I guess I, I, I dabbled into Alcoholics Anonymous. I went to a couple meetings here and there. I knew that wasn't gonna be my sole outlet of getting sober, though I just didn't relate to a lot of it.I didn't like how they worded a lot of it. So I wanted different options. I read a lot of books. I read this Naked Mind from Annie Grace, that's Probably what really put the nail in the coffin for me. It really just kind of breaks down what alcohol is in a non-biased way and just kind of tells you everything, how there's.Type one drinkers, type two drinkers. People that can drink one drink and then go about their day and be done or whatever they need to do and not drink for days or months, whatever. And then there's type two, you know, like people that obsess over it, if they have just a little lick of it and can't [00:10:00]stop, won't stop until they finish and get as fucked up as they can.She kind of breaks it down into just like the hard facts and it really just kind of reset my brain into my relationship with alcohol. So definitely Annie Grace. I had to listen to a lot of podcasts. I did a lot of meditation trying to just get inside my body and out of it at the same time.That was mainly, I didn't use, I didn't go to rehab, I didn't do any of that stuff this time around. This was my third attempt at getting sober and this was the one that stuck was, and I think mainly what I had to do is because I was making the choice for myself my previous times trying to get sober, it was.External sources influencing me to get sober, whether it be an ex or friends. This was the time where I really wanted it for myself, and I think that's where it clicks you. I mean, it's hard to do anything for [00:11:00] anyone else that's remotely difficult, so you gotta really wanna do it for yourself or to be able to succeed, you know, to your fullest potential, in my opinion.Hmm. De'Vannon: Very interesting. Yeah. I'm all for the autonomous approach to self-development. I believe in independent spirituality. Say like in the Christian world, like without going to church, I believe in sobriety without the need for like a group, you know, because I feel like when. When we take it so personally and stuff like that, it seems to stick more with us.And then when we, when we're believing what we're believing or we're doing what we're doing on the path we're on, because we want to be on it and because of what's coming to us and not because of the group or some authority figure, you know, physical authority figure, you know. I think it's more permanent because [00:12:00] eventually, you know, holes get poked in the, in the images of the people we look up to or in the institutions or in the organizations.So be it the churches, the anonymous movement, you know, whatever. They start off with a glistening reputation and then it gets a little tainted over the time and then that can fuck up people's sobriety. It can fuck up people's faith, you know, in their God it can, it can make people dis distrust, you know, which is a lot of what happened to me.I ain't for the anonymous movement. It started off cute because you know, that's the best thing that I had available. But as I got more into it, I saw the holes in it, you know, I was like, how dare you tell me I should not do crystal meth and cocaine when you're chain smoking cigarettes and drinking a gallon of coffee at every week.Oh hell no,This hypocrisy will not work. . Right, right.So then this brings me to a [00:13:00] question I wanted to ask you. I know I'm not hearing anything about like drugs in your history, but just, just for shits and gigs, I wanna get your opinion on this because you know, you were able to walk into the liquor store, you know, and buy what you want and everything like that.People who are strung out on drugs and shit like that. You know, generally, unless you're like in a place where it's decriminalized, which in the United States is only Oregon, you can't just like, you know, go into the store and buy you a gram of meth, you know, or an vol of Coke. So like there, there's barriers to access.Do you feel like You know, with, with people who struggle with alcohol because the thing that is, is hurting you is legal. You know, as long as you're over 21, you can just bloody walk into the store and buy all you want and there's, nobody's gonna stop you. Do you, do you think that, that the ease of access has to something to do Dillan: with that or?Absolutely. I think it's, I mean, it's so easy to get and it's branded everywhere. You, you sit on the bus stop on [00:14:00] the corner and there's a Coors Light ad on it, and it's, you can't escape it in this, in our, the world that we've created for ourselves here. So of course I think it definitely makes it a little harder to be sober, especially in the beginning times.But I mean, when every event and everything is sponsored by a different alcohol and every event is centered around drinking, whether it be a wedding or a funeral or anything, there's gonna be alcohol provided. And it's not looked at as like weird. It's socially accepted for someone to be in grief and to take a drink to make them feel better, it's like, People encourage that.They're like, oh, they need a drink after that. Like, it, it's the only, no one would say like, oh, they need to hit a meth after that. Like, , like, it's like, so like you don't have to go around hearing like that encouragement from the world around you. It's just, it's like, Blah. . . De'Vannon: They would've [00:15:00] said that in my trap house back in my church.Dillan: Oh, just take a little hit of Matthew. De'Vannon: You'll feel better. We would say a bumper tool. Old Do Dillan: a bumper two or do De'Vannon: bumper tool do. That was ourselves, our slogan. Dillan: Oh God, . De'Vannon: So the, the, the theme of one, of, one of your shows was actually called, you know, staying Sober in a community that was designed to glorify alcohol, staying sober in a community that was designed to glorify alcohol.And I was gonna ask you about that. And I suppose that's much of what you were just saying, but by community, I was wondering if you meant the L G B T Q community or like Yeah. At large. Dillan: I think especially the, it's targeted towards the LGBTQ community. Just like any nightclub or anything, that's, that's the safe space for queer people is a nightclub that's full of alcohol and it's just always around the culture.It's just, I, I can't, every gay person or queer person has a story of a time that [00:16:00] someone, either they or someone around them was way too drunk and something bad happened. It's like, It's just rampant in the queer community. That's one of the main reasons I started the show was because I couldn't find any of the resources, like talking about it, like how bad it was in the community.And it, it's not even just alcohol, it's just drugs in general. Like queer people are looking for an escape from this world, this reality around us. And that's one of the only things people feel they can turn to is a mind altering substance to take away all the, the baggage we've been holding on for so long.De'Vannon: Right, because whenever I'm in a gay bar, I hope, you know, hopefully I don't never have to take a shit because you will not be able to get any of those stalls. Cause everyone's all the coen. Yeah. video1658291643: Seriously De'Vannon: though I'm not judging them. And if you see me, I would like a bump, but you know, , but you know, I'm not, I'm not here to judge.But it is just true, you know, no [00:17:00] matter what city I'm in. invariably, there will always be drugs in the club right now when you've been on the, you know, the bus or whatever the case may be. You know, and you've see, you know, you've seen the, the Corona. Corona signs and God forbid, taka vodka, oh Lord.Mm-hmm. , you know, if you're gonna put something in your body, at least have some decency. Girl , you know? So, so how would you center your mind, you know, if you're trying to overcome alcohol, you're seeing it branded. Everywhere you go is on every commercials, on all the billboards. People got it on their fucking t-shirts, you know, everywhere you go.How would you, where, where, where would you go to in your head? How would you overcome. Dillan: That changes for everyone. I think a lot of people get it really triggered. For me personally, I literally had to, you know, really just wake up and see what the world for, what it is, and just decide my own choices, what I wanna make.It's, it's not easy. It's not like, [00:18:00] you know, but it's also not that hard at this point that I've gotten so used to it. I just kind of had to reframe everything. I had to question everything honestly. And. Question why I believed the way I believed things were and if I even wanted to be that way anymore.Yeah. And like I really had to just, you know, listen to what I felt and not what everyone else was telling me to feel. De'Vannon: I couldn't have said it better myself. I got to a point in reevaluating my stance on like religion and churches and drugs, and I just told the Lord. I was like, you know what? I'm just gonna take my life at this point and just kind of throw it all in the trash because the other people's voices are too enmeshed in my conscious and subconscious, and you use the word that we used in hyp hypnosis as I'm a train hypnotist as well, you use a reframe.You know, we're always reframing. Reframing, reframing, you know, and or replacing depending on the situation. But it's, you know, there's a [00:19:00] lot of reformation that has to happen. And, and I tell God like, you know what? This, this is just so clouded in my head, so let's just toss it all out and I'm gonna act like I'm a baby just being born and I'm gonna approach a life brand new.And you, yes, communicate with me what you do and don't want because I don't trust the other people cuz they had shady motive. Dillan: Right. And I like the reframing because you can't get rid of anything. You can't get rid of. A lot of people think that, and I, I'm saying this personally, I thought I could get rid of my anger.I thought I could get rid of my sadness. You can't get rid of it. You have to learn to reframe it and learn to live with it and learn to move it into a, a transfer of energy into another part of your body and make it better. It's not always about getting rid of everything and just forgetting about it, expelling it.It's not there. I don't believe it. It's not, it's not the inside of me anymore. Therefore it's gone. It's not, I don't think it's like that. It's, you really have to just rework it in your brain and make it [00:20:00] into a space that's comfortable for you to be okay with it. Cuz I mean, you don't have to love everything about yourself, but it's good to be okay with it.So you're talking De'Vannon: about a perspective shift. Dillan: Yeah, just everything. When I see all those ads for alcohol, I don't even see them anymore. Honestly. I've learned to just see that as like, ugh, garbage. It's like spam mail. You don't read through every single spam mail like title. It's like, nah. You just know. You see it instantly and you're like, that's spam.I don't need it. De'Vannon: You might wanna right, you might wanna look into training as a hypnotherapist is what you, is what you're talking about doing is the exact sort of stuff I learned in school. Oh, really? . , Dillan: right? Intuition. , De'Vannon: yeah. Like reframing, replacing like, so, so someone comes with like, It comes to us for a hypnosis to work on, say, smoker cessation.They don't wanna smoke anymore. We're not gonna like try to take the habit. We're gonna like maybe replace that with something else. And I like, maybe when they think about smoking, maybe they'll kind of pinch their fingers together or maybe they'll, [00:21:00] you know, or maybe reach for, transfer the energy right now.Right. Yeah. You're taking that and you're, cause it looks like a baby. If they, they want the little suckle thing, you don't take it from them. You have to take that and give them something else. Mm-hmm. , you know, Absolutely. So, and maybe look into that. I went to H M I, the Hypnosis Motivation Institute out in Tarzana, California, that they have great online courses.They were the first accredited hyp hypnotherapy school in the United States. They're not paying me to promote, to recruit people or nothing like that, but you seem to have the gift . So Dillan: thank you. Thank you very much. I'm gonna, I'll definitely look into that cuz it's, I've always, I'm always looking into different cool mediums That's very up De'Vannon: my alley.Yeah. And that's all about the mind and subconscious and neurolinguistic programming and you know, and how we're affected by things without realizing it, you know, and everything like that. And, you know, it's, it's quite fascinating. It helped me to reframe anger and stuff that I used to hold, like towards my boyfriend and different people, you know?And I began to look at it from a [00:22:00] different perspective and I was able to gain a great amount of peace. , you Dillan: know, Yeah, it's just long. It's just all that perspective, perspective shift. It's just like you can either wake up and see it as like, oh, I missed the bus. I did this went wrong, this went wrong. Or you can see it as like, oh, I'm getting an opportunity to walk a little slower to work today.And they'll understand I'll be late. And like just reframing everything, just totally changes. Could change anything about yourself. But I guess that's what you were talking about with hypnotherapy, cuz that's literally what it's for, is to help change parts of yourself, , mm-hmm. De'Vannon: and getting through all the noise in the head and the subconscious.My favorite thing that I've reframed lately was like, so when I was in the military, you know, they always taught me to move fast, fast, fast, fast, fast. If you're 15 minutes, Early than you're really late, you know? Right. Thing. Everything's over the top. You're better than than normal civilians. You know, you don't wanna be like that.And you know, and I got outta the military like 20 years ago and I just had this [00:23:00] reformation like the other week, you know, or maybe even the other day. And I then I thought to myself, you know what, because when you get outta the military, you get outta there judging society because they've taught us that we're better than everyone else.But they don't, they don't. Deprogram our military minds when they throw us back out into society. So then, then I'm thinking, you suck cuz you're slow and you're late. And the shit's not that big a deal. It's a form of P T S D that many of us get outta the military with unfortunately, it seems. Mm-hmm. So I thought to myself maybe, maybe it's not that people are slow.Maybe I'm moving too damn fast. Dillan: Right. Right. So you just have to like stop and reframe it. You're like, everyone's not going so slow. Yeah. I'm just in hyper De'Vannon: speed. . Yeah. Maybe I sneak to slow the fuck down. And I'm a Sagittarius though. It's hard for me to dial it Dillan: back. Oh yeah. SA is, you guys are always wanting to go explore and go and go.Go. , De'Vannon: but it's unrealistic, you know? And so I was like, you know what, maybe VA slowed down. You know, I have my times where I can go fast, but not [00:24:00] all the time, the van. And so that, as simple as that may seem, I've never told myself that too much before. Mm-hmm. , you know, but little one-liners like that can really redirect us.Absolutely. So another topic of one of your shows you were talking about like jealousy and anger at people who can still drink. Mm, so this, so this bacon, so like a bitterness. When somebody decides that, Hey, for me, it's coming too far and I wanna stop drinking. Now I'm at this party, and that bitch over there has that cosmo that I would love to have.Fuck her. Mm-hmm. , you know, how do you deal Dillan: with that there? Yeah, mine, mine is red wine. Any Cabernets or anything? I was always very, you know, I'm from the East Coast, very like it's very New York City to have a glass of red wine in your hand, you know, like right . So that one is like, that one still kind of gets to me.Just, I just miss that elegance in the class and you just, [00:25:00] it just makes you personify this new feeling. And it's not even the drink that was doing it. It was literally just the glass with the red liquid inside of it that I was holding that made me feel that, you know, fanciness, . But yeah, it does suck seeing other people be able to enjoy it and, I'm like, oh, I've done all this work on myself.I've done all this therapy. I should be able to go have a drink now. Right? Eh, like I tell myself that sometimes and I'm like, eh, maybe not , but it does suck to see other people enjoy it. And I just know I can't ever get to that level again. De'Vannon: Right now, don't remember it was you and, and y'all, Dylan as a co-host, his, his name's Aubery one of you mentioned.how you go to weddings and parties and stuff like that and that you're finding that you're not actually the only sober person. And so, so it seems like, it sounds, it feels really lonely at first, but you're finding that you're actually, you're not the only sober gay running [00:26:00] around. Dillan: Right. And I mean, the first wedding I went to, I had a lot of fun, but I left early cuz I just got so anxious and.Just uneasy. But I went to a, a wedding after that and it was much easier. I think I had to really just like get back into the groove of it. But the first one I went to after getting sober was definitely hard. I, you know, seeing everyone dance and let loose and, you know, run back to their table and take a little shot or whatever to loosen them up a little more to go on the dance floor.And I was like, oh, I, I'm just, I, they're just expecting me to just go on the dance floor, like there's no inebriation in my system. Like they're just expecting me to go out there and dance. I just couldn't do it. I had to leave. . But the wedding after that, I had, you know, the second one I went to after that in sobriety, I, I kind of felt like I saw everyone getting up.I, it was the same thing. I saw everyone getting up and starting to get on the dance floor and I was like, had that feeling of like, okay, am I gonna do what I did last time? And just like, let this overwhelm me until the point of [00:27:00] where I just gotta go. Or I could just take that energy and just go dance.And I went and danced and I had a great time. And so I guess that was brings us back to how you can reframe things. , De'Vannon: I hope you popped your pussies. Aveoli. . . I did. Clearly left burn marks on the dance floor. For Dillan: real though. I, I'm pretty sure I did. I think they had to repaint the venue. Hell De'Vannon: yeah. Fuck.That's shit all the way. So, so another one that you talked about was like routines that you had in your life, like before drinking and after drinking. And so it sounds like, do you think like when you were into the drinking that maybe subconsciously or maybe intentionally that you rearranged your life so that you would always have access to the drink?Or talk to me about these routines. Dillan: I think the routines start at least for me, the routines started later in my drinking. [00:28:00]Career. In the beginning it was very just, you know, drink to have fun and it turns into drinking every night. You kind of find a way to drink every night when you're younger.You can find a party anywhere, the round kids your age. But once I get to like 25, 26 years old, it really turned into, okay, so-and-so's busy. Oh, so-and-so's busy. I'm just gonna go, you know, drink by myself at my house and that. You know that anytime you do anything regularly in your home, that creates a routine.And so, you know, drinking just a little bit to calm my nerves, turns into drinking to fall asleep and making sure that I'm blacked out by 10:00 PM if I have to get up early the next day. Or if I, you know, if I have to wake up at like 4:00 AM for a flight, I gotta make sure I get blacked out by like 7:00 PM so I'm like knocked out by eight.It's like those. Shifts in my routine that I was centering around. Just drinking and just getting my fix was totally [00:29:00] disrupting everything else in my life, but it didn't matter to me. As long as I was able to get my fix, then I could, you know, solve every other problem. But it was always get drunk first and then, you know, I'll deal with that problem after I get a little buzz.But the, the catch 22 of that is you get a little buzz. You don't care. So you start to put off everything and you know, next thing you know, your water gets shut off every other month because you're not, you're forgetting to pay the bill here and there. And my electric was getting shut off a lot. Not because I didn't have the money, but because I wasn't remembering to pay the bill.And, or I would see the notice saying it was late. And I'm like, I don't feel like dealing with that right now. I, I still have some more time before they'll actually shut me off. And it's like the stupidest things that like you don't think about when you have a clear head. And you just are living, it's, you're so clouded when you get to that point where you're making those decisions where it's like, I got, I, I, I can, I can pay for the light bill right now, but it's, I'm too wasted or I'm not drunk enough to deal with it, and then I'm getting too drunk to [00:30:00] even deal with the website.So it's like, it's just get, everything's getting pushed off. So I was just pushing off everything for years and years and years and years, and. De'Vannon: So it sounds like this routine crept up on you before you realized it. Dillan: Yeah. Yes, absolutely. Good way to say it. It's like if you don't, you don't. I wasn't just like one day like, okay, I'm gonna start my drinking here.It was like all of that stuff kind of happened organically. It was like, it just happens naturally. It's almost like the way you think, like, oh, I need to go to sleep now to get my, if I wanna get six hours of sleep, like that was my way of thinking. But for drinking, Like, I gotta start drinking now so I could be drunk by this time.And it, it's become second nature. I, but like you said, it was like, I didn't go into it with the intent of making these schedules for myself. It just happened. De'Vannon: It just happened. Well, I'm glad it not happened for you. . Dillan: Me too. De'Vannon: Oh, and I love the [00:31:00] transparency of your podcast. And I feel like it's so beneficial to people who are struggling with alcohol because they will not feel alone.There's so much feelings of isolation in this world. You know? That's why I do what I do too, to be super transparent because it's, it's so not true because the people around us are going through so much. It's just like, When I was younger, we were too busy partying and doing all the drugs and being cute and trying to see how skinny we can get.Nobody was really talking about real life issues and stuff like that. And so then when real life problems and issues happened to me, I was thinking I was the only one. And really that wasn't true. Right? So, you know, I gotta open my mouth for more than sucking dick, y'all. We have, we have to do better.Dillan: better. Well, I'm very happy that you're using a good platform for good in spreading your story as well. De'Vannon: Yes. And so, So we, so you talked about FOMO in one of your shows, y'all, and that's fear of [00:32:00] missing out. So, so when you start, it sounds like when you first started the sober journey, maybe you thought that there were some places you wouldn't have been able to go anymore, that you think you might lose some friends.You know, what, what did you think you might miss out on? Dillan: I, my biggest thing was like like weddings. I, like I talked about before, that was like, I didn't know how to like go to a wedding or anything like that. . And like, just like the fear of missing out of just going to, you know, see friends at clubs and bars and things like that because it is such a popular destination for socialization is to just go and drink.So I was, you know, unfortunately I did lose a lot of friends just because that's wasn't my main topic of interest anymore. So I, I did miss out on a lot, but at, in the same time, I think I gained, you know, more about myself learning. I tried not to polarize everything as such good and bad. I didn't think of it as like a bad thing.It's [00:33:00] just, it is what it is. But it does, you know, the fear of missing out is still there. But that's always just gonna be like, humans are curious by nature. You know, we're always gonna be like, what could have been if I did this? Or if I was still drinking, where would I be? Would I be, you know, living my life to the extent and doing all the things that I fear I'm missing out of because I'm not drinking?And then I kind of stop thinking about it , when I frame it that. Mm-hmm. De'Vannon: How did it feel to lose friends that you feel hurt, betrayed, relieved Dillan: Kind of a mixture of all of that. It's in the beginning, you're like you kind of think like, everyone's gonna support me on my journey. All my, you know, but I had all, a lot of.Drunk friends like they were, that's, you know, that's what they did. And a lot of them did support me and do, and you know, most of them did openly say like, you're doing the right thing. This is good for you. [00:34:00] But you know, naturally, just because we're not hanging out, just kind of. You know, disappear and they fade away.And then you kind of get that feeling of like a little bit afterwards you're, you're getting angry cuz you're like, well damn I haven't talked to that person in two months and I bet you, I bet you damn wells cuz I'm not drinking. And then you start to get that feeling. And that does give you a sense of like, feeling betrayed by people you once trusted.But I mean, that's like you said. Then you move on kind of into the next phase and you're like, okay, you know what? I'm relieved. This is for the best. You know, I'm gonna do me, I can, you know, take this time to focus on me and not worry about them. I don't like to think of it as, I lost a lot of friends though, because they're still there.You know, social media, you don't really lose anyone nowadays. They're still there. I just, you know, You know, change the energy of the friendship. It's just, you know, it's online now. . [00:35:00]De'Vannon: Okay. Hey, I guess Dillan: you reframed It does suck though. Yeah, it does suck though. I'm not, I'm not trying to sugarcoat it too much.It, I mean, but it's, it's life. Say Lavie, you know, it goes on, you just have to look at it that way and not as like, oh, I lost everyone. It's like, ah, fresh start. It's a new De'Vannon: beginning forever. Spring baby. Forever spring. Dillan: Mm-hmm. . Absolutely. Let's talk De'Vannon: about sex, baby. Oh lord. Okay. No hole in the hole. . And so, so on your show, you were mentioning, like you were paralleling the difference between like drunk sex, not drunk sex.Mm-hmm. you feel like there's a, a change in, in, like in your sex life for, for, for the better or worse since you stopped drinking? Did, was there a difference for you? Dillan: Well, yeah, I think, well, towards the end of my drinking I was actually having issues with [00:36:00] my sex life, well, my sex drive I was having issues with.I couldn't, you know, Even get hard really, cuz I was just, I was drunk too much. It was just like I couldn't do it right. And I couldn't hold an erection. So that was started, that was another red flag of just what was wrong. And I was, I couldn't control my bladder. I was peeing the bed all the time.It was, and so getting into being sober and starting to like, regain control of my body. Is great and then it all comes with, you know, being aligned and aligning yourself again after you get sober. Cuz you can't just get sober and expect everything to fall into place. You gotta do the work and, you know, I had to literally align my, my sexual shocker and get it, you know, back into the place it's supposed to be.And. Not treat sex the way I was treating it in the past and, you know, thinking like, oh, I had to be, you know, drunk to like even ex, you know, have fun or be good at it, or at least be a little [00:37:00]tipsy to be the right partner. You just experienced it a different way. I had a lot of resentment towards sex when I got sober, cuz of how I had been viewing sex for so long that once I got sober and saw it for what it was and saw it as a beautiful act, you know, I treated it a lot differently and a lot more sacred than I was before.And just, you know, I just treated my whole, the whole energy was more sacred to me. I guess that was what I'm trying to say. It is great though. It's much, it's much better experience for me now that I'm more in tune with it than before where it's kind of just like a wham bam. Thank you ma'am. Now I feel like you know, when I experience it now it's, you know, very much a spiritual experience and fully engaging all of my body into this act, if that makes sense.De'Vannon: Yeah. All of your body, all your breathing, all of your awareness, all of your [00:38:00]consciousness, Dillan: yes. Yeah. I'm not like putting my consciousness somewhere else and putting my body on autopilot. It's like, you know, I'm in my body experiencing it.De'Vannon: Okay. I'm here for the conscious, conscious love making and sexual explorations and experiences and Dillan: things. Right, right. There was a time though I was celibate for a long, long, long, long time. like years because of, I just couldn't do it. I didn't want to, and I, you know, just body image issues at the time.That's a whole other topic, but the, it was part of the drinking as well. De'Vannon: The celibacy came after you began to get sober, or was it during Dillan: the drinking? It was during it all kind of blended together towards the end of the alcohol and the beginning of sobriety that I was pretty celibate and abstaining from relationships and sex, not on purpose.It just kind of was happening. I didn't really, I wasn't like , I just wasn't seeking [00:39:00] it. De'Vannon: I've been through that before. You know, Dillan: you have to be selfish every once in a while and just be like, you know what? I can't do anything . I just, I just don't wanna do anything with anyone. I just want to focus on me. De'Vannon: I don't view that as selfish.I view that as more like self-sacrificial. Hmm. Dillan: Interesting. Oh, De'Vannon: I view it as great discipline and great restraint because you know, it's so easy to go get a piece of ass somewhere these days. You can order it like, like a, like an Uber or Lyft or some shit. You just open an app and order it and the ass will come through the door like you don't Dillan: evenBut see, I don't know. You say it, it's like, it's like, I guess we just see it differently when you say restraint, I never really see myself having to like restrain or wanting to like restrain myself from. Going, I get I, but I've never was like that. Even when I was a drinker, I was never really like promiscuous or like wanting to like seek out another person's comfort, which I think goes a lot to like child trauma history.But that's a whole nother topic as [00:40:00] well.De'Vannon: what happened in video1658291643: yourDillan: childhood? , oh God. Very, We'll, just briefly, just religious parents, abusive, physically, emotionally abusive that kind of deal. Southern Baptist. Ooh just, yeah, that kind of you Yeah. You get it.De'Vannon: Jesus Christ on the throne. One of my greatest struggles is I'm very like, Like God, Jesus Christ, holy Ghost. But I'm very like anti-church and Antio Nation. Dillan: Absolutely. I deal De'Vannon: with So you too. Yeah. Yeah. I deal with so many people who have been on the receiving end of like religious and church trauma, like I was too.And it is so hard. Like they, they [00:41:00] carry so much pain and I've once carried it too. It's so hard to get them to. To be able to have a conversation or to think about God without it being like a searing pain in their chest. Yeah. You Dillan: know, they have an image of a God that's just, that they're so ingrained in their brain that they can't hear anymore attributes to God because they just don't believe it.It's not there. De'Vannon: Right. So the physical people who, who once represented God to them, hurt them, lie to them, misinformed them, you know? But when you're new in the faith, that's what you have. You know, as you grow, then you begin to understand, just like with any sort of educational growth, you know, I don't actually need the professor anymore.I, I can do this shit myself. Yeah, thanks bitch. Juices, , but you know, But churches aren't like that. They, they, they, they treat you like you gotta stay there and constantly learn from, from that pastor forever for the rest of your life. And I'm all like, that doesn't make any sense. [00:42:00] Church is a school. You're going there to fucking learn.Why Fuck can't I graduate, bitch. Dillan: Right. Oh, wow. That's such a good way to say that. De'Vannon: You know, because you have an agenda, then you need the money. You have, like all the shit you got going on. But, you know, in the, in the Bible even says that there comes a point that you will have need that no man teach you.But they don't teach that in churches, you know? Right. Dillan: And so, but I just feel bad for the Bible. It's been so pick and choose from that. It is just, it's so, it's a book that's used against itself. It's literally just so picked and choosed in different religions. Like it's hard. De'Vannon: I don't wanna encourage my audience and everyone listen like I always do.You know if it's, fuck the church, fuck the church, but don't be like, fuck God. You know? I made that, yeah, I made that mistake when I got kicked outta Lakewood Church for not being straightened. I went through like about five or six years of just silence in between me and heaven because I wasn't as mature spiritually as I thought I was, and I couldn't separate the bad thing.[00:43:00] Joel Osteen and his church did to me. I couldn't separate that from God, you know? And so I really, really don't want people to fall into that trap because it was just a very bitter way for me to be living. And it did not serve me at all. . Mm-hmm. , right? Not all. You know, they're gone on writing more books and selling more arenas than making more millions, and I'm bitter and pissed off at them and, you know, using drugs to numb the pain, not even realizing it.So, mm. So let's talk about hiding drinking, because one of your shows, you talked about that. Now I know what it's like to have a bunch of syringes and pipes and shit that I don't want bitches to find, you know, tucked away or whatever the case may be, . But you know, you have, you know, it's not uncommon to go in someone's house and all the bottles are displayed on a beautiful bar, you know?Was there a point that you felt like you had to hide your drinking? If so, why and how did you do it? Dillan: The, I, I didn't hide it most of the time. I've always been very proud of myself and [00:44:00]proud person in general, but there was times where I did notice myself starting to hide it. I had a, a group of, or a couple friends live with me for one point when they were in the middle of buying a house, and this is probably like eight, nine years ago.And this is probably the first time that anyone had ever, ever been on the inside of my. Because I know I've been, I was single for so long and this was someone coming into and, you know, seeing my life and. You know, start, that's whenever the, the next day they're like, oh, we noticed that you got home last night at like midnight, but there's like an empty wine bottle in the f in the trash and like two empty beer cans.Like, did you have a little party? Like, what happened? And I was like, Oh no, . I just, you know, got off work and came home and drank a bottle of wine and two beers, like like, so then the next night I'm like, fuck these people in my fucking house. And I'm like hiding, like stashing bottles away. And I'm like, [00:45:00] to dare them.I just wanted to come home at midnight and have a fucking drink and go to sleep. And now they're judging me in my house. So there , there was a time I started hiding it. Whenever I was, you know, living with other people and they actually got to be on the inside. And then I start to see the, you know, public opinion of what I'm doing is not exactly normalDe'Vannon: Oh, I would've read them for Phil. I'm like, no, bitch, we're not doing that. We are not doing that. Dillan: They were, they were actually the ones that when we were talking about earlier external sources, you know, trying to influence you to go get help, they were actually some of the people that after living with me for a couple months, that they wanted me to go get help.And it was a very unsuccessful attempt with me and getting professional help to stop drinking . De'Vannon: No, everybody's gotta make those decisions on their own. Mm-hmm. you know, good counselors, good therapists and mental health therapists [00:46:00] always are asking, you know, well, what do you want to do? You know, what is your, what is, you know, how do you wanna proceed?You know, so that you, so that the person always has ownership of whatever direction the mistakes, friends and families make when you're dealing with people. You might consider to be an addict or an alcoholic. I hate those terms, you know, to my, yeah, I same. There's someone in your opinion, who does it more than they should, you know, trying to rush them into rehab and into this and into that, because you feel like they should, first of all, I think it's inherently selfish.Mm-hmm. And then it's not gonna work. And it's selfish because the family member or friend are doing it because they want to feel better. You know, they can't stand to see what we're going through. They want that pain to go away. So let's hurry up and show you into one of these treatment facilities and what the fuck Dillan: ever.That's the only, honestly, just drives a little like wedge between the two. From the, from the person who's using perspective, at least in my personal experience, it kind of [00:47:00] creates like some animosity. To that person after it's over, especially if it wasn't successful . It's like, okay, like what are you trying to interfere with in my life?I'm a freaking adult and you know what I mean? Mm-hmm. . . De'Vannon: So friends and families are people who, by your assessment, you think are doing too much and they may be, the only thing you can do is just be there. Just be like, I'm here if you need anything. You don't have to go support the habits and bring them their meth or their beer or whatever, but the judgment ain't gonna work.it's, I'm gonna work. Dillan: Absolutely not. De'Vannon: Okay. So then as I mentioned earlier, I'll circle back around to, to asking for help. , and I know it's different for everybody, but talk to me about how do we know when it's too much? Is there some sort of sign? Is it an inner voice? Do we clearly, if you can't hold an erection and you're, and you're pissing in the bed, that might be an indication, right?With alcohol, I know [00:48:00] it can like fuck with your blood pressure too, which can also fuck with an erection. So what, what, what do you, what are your thoughts on asking for help and when to know when to do? Dillan: I think for, just for anyone, it, it's just so, it's such a unique journey that if you're thinking if I should ask for help, it's probably time to ask for help.I mean, when I was Googling free rehab, no insurance, Like gay, I can't stop drinking queer rehab, like that, that when you start Googling stuff like that, that's when you probably should start finding help and seeking help. Likeand I was like searching things like I, like I would type in the Google search bar, Reddit, so I'd get my Reddit results. Reddit. Drinking every day. No erection, peeing, bed. People like me, . . De'Vannon: Okay. Dillan: No, there's no one like that. I can't find that anyone's talking about that. Yeah. No. [00:49:00]Okay. Probably an issue. De'Vannon: So then maybe this is like your subconscious, maybe like your body reaching.you know, in a way cuz like the fingers are doing the typing and the mind's doing the working, but it hasn't yet clicked that the time for help has come somehow. Yeah. Dillan: I it's just, like I said, it's very personal. There was plenty of times where I wanted to do something about it and I didn't truly in my heart think I could.I think whenever I gave myself my own confidence, I faked it. I just, you know, fake it till you make it, honestly works. Some with manifestation. I said, you know, I got this. I'm the shit I'm, and that helps me. That helped me a lot, just like not talking so down upon myself and telling myself, oh, but you need it, but you can't do without this.You can't do without this. And instead just being like, you got this. You're fine. You're great. You're doing perfect. You're able to, just reframing the way I would talk to myself in my, the little voice in my head. [00:50:00] Just, you know, telling him to stop saying mean things and just start saying only nice things.And try and just make it a little better in my head and clear out the cobwebs a little bit. I think that helped a. De'Vannon: Whatever you can do. And another thing that will help people a lot is listening to the Silver Gay Podcast, . Dillan: Yes, please. . God. De'Vannon: God knows we need alternatives to to the anonymous movement.It's okay. So then the last thing we wanna talk about we'll, and then on a super positive note, like some silver celebrities you live, look up to. Dillan: Ooh, who I love RuPaul. I mean, RuPaul, I've not a, I love RuPaul's show. He used to have a show a podcast called What's the Tea? And I used to love listening to him talk about his sobriety and like the way he, he taught me one of my favorite, you know, comebacks to when someone offers me a drink now.So when someone offers me like, Hey, can I [00:51:00] get you a drink? Instead of going to this long, like, oh, I'm sober. Cuz who the fuck wants to hear that when they're trying to have a good time? I just say, oh, I've had enough. Thank. That's it. That doesn't go into anything. I don't have to explain anything. I don't have to go anywhere with it.I've had enough. Thank you. And like I just, RuPaul is one of my favorite sober celebs by far. And not even that like transparent about, he doesn't even really talk about being sober as like his main thing. But he's been sober over 20, 25 years now, I think. Yeah, I De'Vannon: didn't know that. But that comeback is, is like It is a polarizing statement and it's one that works in your favor because if someone were to try to overcome that statement, it would be somebody who's disrespecting your boundaries.Dillan: Absolutely. Yes. Yes. And then, or they could just take it as a joke and let, but yes, you're right. It's a polarizing statement in that, in that sense that you can't, you can't have anything bad to say to it or else you're gonna be the bad guy. , right?[00:52:00]De'Vannon: absolutely. So I love that. I love everything about that. Dillan: Oh, thanks. I've had enough . No further explanation De'Vannon: right now. That enough may have been 20 years ago that I've had enough, but you don't need to know all that . Dillan: Yeah, yeah, right.De'Vannon: Okay, so, so you see people, even the rich and famous are celebrities. You know, a lot of times in Hollywood, you know, you know, they catch a bad rap, you know? when we see in God bless her, you know, like Ms. Lindsay Lohan or, you know, certain, certain people,you know, but not everybody, you know, in, in, in Hollywood is on like their fifth and 10th dui. You know, some people actually don't do drugs and you know, and you see a lot of movies like Studio 54. , the Andy Warhol diaries, you know, whatever it is that you wanna watch. [00:53:00] And there's always a lot of drugs and, and alcohol the way Hollywood is glamorized, you know, but not everybody, even on the big screen drinks or takes drugs.Dillan: Right. And it's, there's a lot of people don't even realize that I made a sh we made an episode going through all of the people that were sober and I can't remember a lot of the names off the top of my head right now for some reason. Just cause I'm not, I don't really, I'm not very good versed on a lot of.Unless I care about them . But there are so many, there are so many out there that don't drink or do anything and they still just get their job done. . De'Vannon: That's not to say they're not doing everyone now, honey. Right, right. talking about getting, getting your freak on . Holly, we, Holly. Weird . Okay. There's a lot of sex in Hollywood.Hell's yes. Okay. So that wraps up our delicious discussion here, but I'll let you go ahead and have the last word [00:54:00] of wisdom, whatever you'd like to say to this globe. Dillan: Mm. Oh my goodness. Wow. I think my last word of wisdom that I would just like to share with the world is to always think for yourself and question any feelings that you don't feel are right.And that can work with anything . De'Vannon: Amen and amen. Y'all's name is Dylan Gay from the Sober Gay Podcast. The website is the sober gay.com. You can find them at that website on Facebook, YouTube, but primarily Instagram. I look forward to having Dylan back on the show. Thank you so much for coming on today.Have a rocking weekend, my friend. Dillan: Thank you. You too. Thanks for having me.De'Vannon: Thank you all so much for taking time to listen to the Sex Drugs and Jesus podcast. It really means everything to me. Look, if you love the show, you can find more information and resources at [00:55:00] SexDrugsAndJesus.com or wherever you listen to your podcast. Feel free to reach out to me directly at Davanon SexDrugsAndJesus.com and on Twitter and Facebook as well.My name is De'Vannon, and it's been wonderful being your host today. And just remember that everything is gonna be all right. 

WHOA That's Good Podcast
Knowing When to Ask for Help with Your Anxiety | Sadie Robertson Huff & Tay Dome Lautner

WHOA That's Good Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later Dec 21, 2022 55:35 Very Popular


Sadie welcomes newlywed, mental health advocate, and entrepreneur Tay Dome Lautner. Tay speaks candidly about her time working as a nurse in recent years, how she realized she'd become so anxious and depressed that she needed to stop, and how she turned that experience, and subsequent PTSD, into a passion for helping other people with their mental health by starting Lemons by Tay. Sadie and Tay both share the moments they realized they were in a bad place and needed help and how to summon courage to ASK for help. Tay encourages us to celebrate small victories in BIG ways, and Sadie challenges us to choose to find joy in whatever situation you're in and, when possible, make bad things good!  https://www.audible.com/SADIE — Visit the link OR text SADIE to 500-500. New members try Audible FREE for 30 days! https://athleticgreens.com/whoa — Get a FREE 1-year supply of Vitamin D & 5 FREE travel packs with your first purchase! https://dwelldifferently.com — Get your first month absolutely FREE with code SADIE! - Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

agentXcel with Chris Bowers
38: Mindset, Models, and Mentors: Dustin Runyon on Knowing When and How to Ask for Help

agentXcel with Chris Bowers

Play Episode Listen Later Dec 21, 2022 49:18


Sometimes when we're struggling professionally or personally, the last thing we try is just asking for some help. My guest this week is here to say that it shouldn't be a hard thing to ask for, and in fact we'd all find success far easier if we didn't let our ego get in the way. Dustin Runyon, coach, realtor, and overall great guy has made it his mission in life to share his superpower: knowing when to ask for help and using that help to realize our own potential: professionally and personally.   You can reach out to Dustin through his website, www.dustinrunyon.com

The Cold Calling Podcast
Know how to ask for help

The Cold Calling Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later Dec 21, 2022 4:18


In this eposiode of Cold Calling Podcast, Ronen Pessar joins Collin as he speaks to the wrong prospect and tries to get him to help with the right information on who to reach. He shares some tips and tricks to be succesful at getting help from other people on the phone and the importance of your tone. Ronen also shares he's been successful with one specific area code. 

RealPositiveGirl - Weekly Encouragement & Mental Health
How to Improve Relationships - Relationships Need Work Not Pain

RealPositiveGirl - Weekly Encouragement & Mental Health

Play Episode Listen Later Dec 19, 2022 31:47 Transcription Available


Sometimes we think we are doing the work to better our relationships but actually are creating more burdens for us to bear to not get out of having honest conversations with our people. Here are some ways we are & aren't doing the work.Show Notes:I started all of the relationships I was in as a people pleaser. This meant that I would always be catering to what their needs were, taking the blame for anything going wrong and never even sharing my needs, but just accepting whatever attitude, abuse or attention I would get. It's nice to say now that I know this isn't the way to be in relationships, romantic or not, but it still hurts to think about what how I let myself be taken for granted & not appreciated as much as I should have been. And I'm not saying it was all the fault of the person I was with because it is definitely my fault that I didn't stand up for myself or attempt to instigate any change. Being a people pleaser or just allowing someone to treat you a certain way is not only their fault. You have to take the responsibility of at least trying to get changes to happen. If you don't, you're allowing yourself to be a victim. But if you have tried to do something about the way people treat you and nothing changes, that's a whole different situation.I'm sure you're familiar with the idea that relationships take work. You gotta put in the time, energy & willingness to communicate with each other and figure out whatever it is. But I think a lot of people don't realize that putting in work is different than taking abuse & being pushed around.When you put in the work in a relationship, you are doing what you believe will help you get on the same page, understand each other better & minimize any fights/disagreements that lead to larger blowouts & hurt feelings. But again, we need to be aware of what doing the work actually looks like & what someone that is more controlling & manipulative would see as YOU doing work but it's really hurtful, not helpful & abusive.Today I want to share with you examples of what it looks like to put work into a relationship and what it looks like when you're just being abused.Here are 5 examples of what putting work into a relationship is NOT:Trying to change the other person.Walking on eggshells.Tolerating dishonesty.Allowing them to be disrespectful.Having your boundaries crossed regularly.Here are 5 examples of what putting work into a relationship IS:Working on your triggers.Practicing patience & being kind.Learning to compromise.Communicating your needs.Asking for help.Thank you so much for listening!! You're amazing!!Support the showGet the NEW PLANNER-JOURNAL!! https://www.sabrinajoy.com/mindsetshop Visit me on Instagram or TikTok: @sabrinajoyperozzo Email Me: realpositivegirlpodcast@gmail.com Sign up for my weekly newsletter https://www.sabrinajoy.com/newsletter! Join the Text Community: Text @realpos to 81010 and you're in!

From Fear to Love
Why it's so hard to ask for help.

From Fear to Love

Play Episode Listen Later Dec 17, 2022 17:41


Ever wonder why it's so hard to ask for help? This episode invites the listener to engage in thoughtful introspection into deciphering any personal barriers to asking others for help and if so, why? Alma shares her thoughts about the resistance in asking for help and what she thinks folks should do in those instances. Lots of helpful ideas in today's episode of From Fear to Love with Alma Leigh --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app

The Professional Step-Dad Show
It's okay to ask for HELP Step-Dads | Episode 148

The Professional Step-Dad Show

Play Episode Listen Later Dec 16, 2022 12:31


Asking for help does not make you weaker Step-Dads. Asking for help, seeking advice, guidance, and mentorship makes you STRONGER as a man, leader and father. Enjoy.... Are you a Step-Parent who has questions? Send us an email: contact@theprofessionalstepdad.com ⬇️ Social Media ⬇️ Instagram@ https:https://www.instagram.com/theprofessionalstepdad Rumble@ https://rumble.com/user/theprofessionalstepdad Apple Podcast@ https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-professional-step-dad-podcast/id1504288883 Spotify@ https://open.spotify.com/show/7kYcvYqG2ihQCOmEkEvt7c FaceBook@ https://www.facebook.com/The-Professional-Step-Dad-110155751420989 Anchor@ https://anchor.fm/franco-zavala

RealPositiveGirl - Weekly Encouragement & Mental Health
Admit When You're Wrong - Take Responsibility When You Do Something Wrong

RealPositiveGirl - Weekly Encouragement & Mental Health

Play Episode Listen Later Dec 16, 2022 31:03 Transcription Available


The fear, shame, guilt & worry that can happen when we do something wrong can get in our way of admitting it sooner or finding a way to not take responsibility for it when it's actually best if we just admit it & move forward. Show Notes:Have you ever been in a situation where you did something wrong that would affect others and were afraid to admit it was your fault? I think we have all been in that spot. And it can feel like you're exposed and vulnerable & might even create some anxiety for you. I personally have felt fear, overwhelm & shame before admitting what I did wrong & apologizing for whatever happened. And a lot of those feelings came from being a people pleaser & not wanting to let anyone down, but also hating the feeling or not doing everything so perfectly or at least good enough to get by.When something doesn't go the way we planned, either due to doing something incorrectly or lack of attention to what we are doing, it's never a situation we celebrate. We often mourne all the times before it that went so well & dread having to tell anyone about what happened. And one of the reasons could be not knowing how other people are going to react to the news. It could also be having to suffer consequences for what happened. And if we don't know what the consequences are, it could insight even more anxiety & fear. And the more we think about and worry about it, the worse we feel. Even with those feelings, some people STILL won't tell anyone what happened until the last possible second, which allows those feelings to crowd your mind for much longer than it should. It's like torturing yourself.But the best thing we can do is just admit that we did something wrong and move forward. Despite what might happen, even the worst possible outcome, you gotta do it so you can move forward. And so the situation can be resolved, if necessary, from the error that occurred.I know I say this all the time, but it really applies here: Mistakes & failures are life's best learning lessons. We don't need to cower in the face of mistakes & failures & those moments when we do something wrong. We need to take the most we can from those experiences & learn all we can. It will help us do better in the future, to understand what went wrong now & to be prepared for something similar down the line. I know it's not fun in the moment, but these experiences are necessary to become our best selves. No one gets away with not doing something wrong.In addition to admitting when you're wrong & taking that responsibility on, here are a few more things to remember in regard to admitting fault & taking responsibility:Don't take responsibility for things that aren't your fault or that you weren't a part of.Don't take responsibility for things on someone else's behalf because you want to protect them or don't want them to feel bad.Don't blame other people.Don't come up with excuses.Don't falsify what happened.Thank you so much for listening, downloading & sharing the show! You're awesome!Support the showGet the NEW PLANNER-JOURNAL!! https://www.sabrinajoy.com/mindsetshop Visit me on Instagram or TikTok: @sabrinajoyperozzo Email Me: realpositivegirlpodcast@gmail.com Sign up for my weekly newsletter https://www.sabrinajoy.com/newsletter! Join the Text Community: Text @realpos to 81010 and you're in!

Aha! Moments with Elliott Connie
Remembering Stephen 'tWitch' Boss

Aha! Moments with Elliott Connie

Play Episode Listen Later Dec 15, 2022 4:57


Remember, it is okay to ask for help. And always remember to be kind in others in case they need to ask you for help.Contact the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline if you are experiencing mental health-related distress or are worried about a loved one who may need crisis support.Call or text 988Chat at 988lifeline.orgSupport me on Patreon!Twitter:  @elliottspeaksInstagram: @elliottspeaks 

Hill-Man Morning Show Audio
The Greg Hill Post Show - I won't ask for help, but I'll gladly accept it - Behind the scenes of Jackson's "melon" car saga

Hill-Man Morning Show Audio

Play Episode Listen Later Dec 14, 2022 6:11


I won't ask for help, but I'll gladly accept it - Behind the scenes of Jackson's "melon" car saga. Santa Ernie swoops in to save the day

The Manspace
Why Don't Men Ask for Help?

The Manspace

Play Episode Listen Later Dec 14, 2022 70:20


Matt, Mike, and Rob tackle another manly mystery (or misconception...either way, we alliterate). Why don't men ask for help? Is it stigma? The need to feel capable? Are men too insecure to ask for help? I bet it's that we just don't need help--cause we're so rad all the time. Maybe you disagree. Listen to the episode. Then have 50 of your closest friends listen. Then, you can all sign a petition saying that I'm wrong. But I won't even consider said petition until I see 50 new downloads. I digress. Listen in. And you'll never have to ask for help again. Spread the word! The Manspace is Rad!!

The 4 Phase Cycle Podcast with Zesty Ginger || Hormone Balance | Women's Health | Mindset
The Series of Possibility Episode 9: Can You Ask for Help?

The 4 Phase Cycle Podcast with Zesty Ginger || Hormone Balance | Women's Health | Mindset

Play Episode Listen Later Dec 13, 2022 13:40


Have you ever been in a situation where you were able to help someone? And have you ever been in a situation wherein you were the one who needed help? Today's episode is all about asking for help and community. Megan talks about how having a balance of giving and receiving creates a life of possibilities. Transcript: https://www.zestyginger.com/possibility-e9/ Connect with us:   Follow us on IG: @zesty_ginger   Find us on FB: www.facebook.com/zesty_ginger Visit us at www.zestyginger.com/ to learn more about the 4 Phase Cycle Approach. Sign up for Coaches connect: https://www.zestyginger.com/coaches-connect/ Sign up for the January event: https://www.zestyginger.com/jan Workbook link: https://www.zestyginger.com/possibilityworkbook

Coaching Real Leaders
How Do I Ask for Help?

Coaching Real Leaders

Play Episode Listen Later Dec 12, 2022 56:13 Very Popular


She's carved out a unique role for herself, which she loves, but worries that the pace of work is unsustainable. As she thinks about the next step in her career, she realizes that it will require her to lean on the help of others — something she's not used to doing. Host Muriel Wilkins coaches her through how to get the support she needs to move forward in her career.

RealPositiveGirl - Weekly Encouragement & Mental Health
5 Tips on How to Accept Yourself - Self-Acceptance of Who You Are Right Now

RealPositiveGirl - Weekly Encouragement & Mental Health

Play Episode Listen Later Dec 12, 2022 24:56 Transcription Available


We are often giving grace to others & being more open & understanding of what other people go through & struggle with. But we don't do it for ourselves. Here are 5 tips on how to be more self-accepting of who you are right now.Show Notes:Isn't it amazing how easily we will accept other people's flaws & problems & issues, even without explanation, and we are hyper-critical of ours. We are like, “Absolute not. Do not accept who you are because it's unacceptable & unreasonable.” We lack the ability to give ourselves grace or any slack, at all, because we have to deal with those things we classify as ‘unreasonable' on the regular & that can just feel like too much.Self-acceptance is SO IMPORTANT to our confidence, our belief in being able to do something & how well we take care of ourselves & put ourselves first. It's way more important than you think it is, which is why I knew I had to talk about it because we are missing out.We are missing out on the opportunity to treat ourselves with the same love & acceptance we give to other people. And let's not forget about the forgiveness & ability to not care when a mistake is made or something isn't achieved as quickly as anticipated. We are truly missing out on this opportunity we afford to others and it needs to stop. We need to treat ourselves the same, if not a little better, than others because we need to be the best we can be to keep helping others & be so forgiving & accepting of others. We will be even better at accepting others if we are more accepting of ourselves.Here are 5 tips on how to be more self-accepting of yourself & secure in who you are right now:Honor Where You Are Right Now. No One is the Model of How to Be.Minimize Criticizing. Have Boundaries With Others that Like to Criticize You. Spend Time With People that Accept You.Thank you SO MUCH for listening, downloading & sharing the show! You're amazing!!Support the showGet the NEW PLANNER-JOURNAL!! https://www.sabrinajoy.com/mindsetshop Visit me on Instagram or TikTok: @sabrinajoyperozzo Email Me: realpositivegirlpodcast@gmail.com Sign up for my weekly newsletter https://www.sabrinajoy.com/newsletter! Join the Text Community: Text @realpos to 81010 and you're in!

RealPositiveGirl - Weekly Encouragement & Mental Health
How Are You Doing? - 5 Tips On How to Check In With Yourself

RealPositiveGirl - Weekly Encouragement & Mental Health

Play Episode Listen Later Dec 9, 2022 29:46 Transcription Available


We spend so much time asking other people how they are, but how often are we asking OURSELVES how we are doing? Not enough. Here are some tips on how to check in with yourself.Show Notes:You know the awkward answer you sometimes give or even receive when you greet someone, there is the question of, “How are you?” and a lot times we respond with something menial like, “I'm good,” “I'm fine,” or whatever else is really subpar. And sometimes we mean those things and other times we don't. But there is also the awkward response of having a PAUSE before responding with whatever standard answer or actually starting to go into what's actually going on in your life before catching yourself because it's not customary to also tell the truth when someone asks that question.I've been told that in other countries when people ask you that, you're supposed to be truthful with your answer and only Americans lie because we think it would be an inconvenience. I'm not saying EVERYONE feels that way, it's just a generalization. And after I heard that (still not sure if it's true or not, it doesn't matter to me), I decided that if it wasn't disruptive to an interaction, I would be honest with how I'm feeling. If it was a hard time, I would say it's a hard day. If it was a boring day, I would admit that. Whatever way my day went, I want to be as honest as possible, but end it with saying that I believe it will get better or will look forward to a new day tomorrow.But, I want to ask you & I want you to answer honestly (which you can because I won't actually hear your response), “How are you doing right now?” How are you truly feeling with whatever is happening in your life? Are you struggling with wanting to feel one way but actually are feeling another? Maybe you haven't taken any time recently to ask yourself this question, so you aren't exactly sure how you're feeling. And that's fair. But if that is the case or any other example I have given or not given, this is the whole reason I wanted to chat about this today.Let's chat about some good ways for you to check-in with yourself & know how you're feeling so you know what needs to change & what you should do next:Determine if you are avoiding or suppressing any emotions. Did anything happen recently that has you all in your feels?Decide if there is anything you need to cut out of your life that is causing issues or just isn't right for this season.Review how you have been taking care of yourself physically & decide what needs to change there. (sleeping habits, exercise, eating habits, breaks outside)Create a list of things you have felt proud of in the last week. (small things, big things, medium things)Think about what you do to create happiness in your life and determine if you need to be doing more of that or need to make any changes.Thank you so much for listening, downloading & sharing!!Support the showGet the NEW PLANNER-JOURNAL!! https://www.sabrinajoy.com/mindsetshop Visit me on Instagram or TikTok: @sabrinajoyperozzo Email Me: realpositivegirlpodcast@gmail.com Sign up for my weekly newsletter https://www.sabrinajoy.com/newsletter! Join the Text Community: Text @realpos to 81010 and you're in!

The By Words Show
58. How to Ask for Help (And Help Yourself) (ft. LaQuetta Dawson)

The By Words Show

Play Episode Listen Later Dec 9, 2022 40:23


“No one benefits from you running on empty.” In recent years, the phrase “self care” has become more and more popular, but what does it actually mean and how do we actually do it? Today we're talking to Christian marriage and family therapist, LaQuetta Dawson, about why it's so important to care for ourselves. As we've said on the show before, you can't pour from an empty cup. When you are cared for, you can better care for the people around you. I can't wait for you to hear this conversation! I hope it leaves you as encouraged and inspired as it did for me. To learn more and connect with LaQuetta, head over to https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/laquetta-dawson-fort-worth-tx/1050992 Get 20% off your BIOHM Health order with code HANNAH: https://www.biohmhealth.com/ SHOW YOUR SUPPORT: https://anchor.fm/bywords/support WORK WITH ME: https://thehannahhughes.my.canva.site/ Connect: www.thehannahhughes.com Instagram: @thehannahhughes @thebywordsshow Shop my Amazon faves: https://www.amazon.com/shop/thehannahhughes --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/bywords/support

The New Mom Boss Podcast
135. How To Ask For Help and Manage Postpartum Overwhelm With Heather Ratych

The New Mom Boss Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later Dec 8, 2022 32:15


Welcome back to the New Mom Boss Podcast! My guest Heather Ratych has made it her mission to help new moms by guiding them through all of the emotions that come with pregnancy and postpartum at her Ontario-based perinatal and maternal mental health clinic, Bloom Psychotherapy.    As a Psychotherapist, Reproductive and Perinatal Specialist, and mom, Heather is all too familiar with the messages that torment women in this stage of life, and is passionate about supporting them in feeling grounded, confident, and connected.    In our conversation, we talk about overwhelm, specifically how that looks in motherhood, what contributes to it, and why it's so difficult to simply ask for help.   Some big takeaways are: Everyone experiences overwhelm - no one has life completely figured out. Know your internal dialogue and what you're saying to yourself. Don't treat self-care as “extra”, but as a normal part of your routine.  Take a listen and learn more by reading the show notes! https://www.newmomboss.com/blog/135   Join the waitlist for the Prepping For Postpartum Workshop! https://www.newmomboss.com/pfp-waitlist Work with me 1:1! https://www.newmomboss.com/guidance  Guest Resources: Heather's Website: https://bloompsychotherapy.ca/   Heather's Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/bloom.psychotherapy/    Heather's Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/heatherratych  Follow me on social media! Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/newmomboss/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/newmomboss

RealPositiveGirl - Weekly Encouragement & Mental Health
How to Ask for Help - Allowing Other People to Help You

RealPositiveGirl - Weekly Encouragement & Mental Health

Play Episode Listen Later Dec 5, 2022 38:48 Transcription Available


It could be fear or our ego & pride or past experiences that prevent us from asking for help, but if we are able to push past those things, we can get the help we want & need and know that we are worthy of asking for it.Show Notes:I don't do this well AT ALL. Growing up, asking for help seemed like something weak to do or when you didn't know how to do something, which was so embarrassing because you didn't want to get caught not knowing something. I couldn't ask for help unless I ABSOLUTELY needed it.Can you tell how unhealthy my mindset was growing up? But this is really how it was for me and how it probably was for many of you. But I'm here to tell you that you don't have to be afraid to ask for help because it's one of the BEST things we could do for ourselves.The caveat is that there WILL be people that still behave the way we are used to people behaving when we ask for help, but the majority of people want to be helpful. Allowing other people to help you gives the helper an opportunity to use their gifts & talents in what they are skilled in. It's almost a gift to the helper to have them help you, especially in a task they are really suited for based on skills alone.So today I want to share with you some tips on the best way to get out of our own fixed mindsets & ask people for help when we need it or just want it. But before we get into that, it is important to accept that there will be times when we will experience rejection. Not everyone likes to help (and it doesn't matter the reasons) or feels like they can't help (this is more because of their own mindset & imposter syndrome issues), so they will say no. If, on top of the ‘no,' they give you grief about asking for help, make sure to shut them down for projecting their insecurities onto you when they really need to focus on themselves.Rejection is a fact of life. It's going to happen. We can't hide from it forever. You can try & get really comfortable in your comfort zone, but it isn't going to keep you safe forever. There will come a time you have to step a toe out of there & you will experience it's wrath. But it's something that makes us stronger (I know that was cheesy, but we all know it's absolutely true) & helps us realize that rejection doesn't mean we failed or it's the end of the road. It just means we either need to find someone else to ask or reframe what we are looking to get out of this request.So let's go over the 7 tips I have for you on How to Ask for Help from Others:Start with this Affirmation: “I am worthy of asking & receiving help from others. This doesn't have any reflection on who I am or what I am capable of doing.”Don't Get in Your Own Way. You Have to Actually Ask for Help. Find Someone You Trust to Ask First. Have a General Idea of What You Need Help With. Embrace the Discomfort for Gained Strength. Don't Deny Someone When They Offer to Help & You Know It Will be Helpful. Thank you SO MUCH for listening, downloading & sharing the show.You're INCREDIBLE!!Also, sign-up to get a free Christmas or non-holiday specific card from me. Click the link to access the sign-up form on my website!Support the showGet the NEW PLANNER-JOURNAL!! https://www.sabrinajoy.com/mindsetshop Visit me on Instagram or TikTok: @sabrinajoyperozzo Email Me: realpositivegirlpodcast@gmail.com Sign up for my weekly newsletter https://www.sabrinajoy.com/newsletter! Join the Text Community: Text @realpos to 81010 and you're in!

Mentally Strong People with Amy Morin
219 - Friday Fix: How to Ask for Help

Mentally Strong People with Amy Morin

Play Episode Listen Later Dec 2, 2022 13:09


Whether you want an extra hand moving furniture or you need professional help for depression, asking for help can be tough. It can feel scary too. We don't want people to reject us, judge us, or feel more powerful than us.  But the sooner we ask for help and make our needs known, the sooner we can get some relief. Fortunately, there are some things you can do to make asking for help feel a little less uncomfortable. With each successful request, you might build the courage to ask for help again. And with a little help from those around you, life often becomes much more manageable and enjoyable.

Unleash Your Inner Creative with Lauren LoGrasso
Heal Codependency, Learn to Ask for Help + What IS Self-Love, Anyway? w/ Melody Beattie, Author of Codependent No More

Unleash Your Inner Creative with Lauren LoGrasso

Play Episode Listen Later Nov 30, 2022 55:02


Today's guest is Melody Beattie. She's a New York Times Best Selling Author known for titles such as The Language of Letting Go, Playing It by Heart, The Grief Club, Beyond Codependency, and her most famous book, Codependent No More-which just came out with a revised and updated edition that you should check out! Codependent No More, has sold over 7 million copies since its release in 1986. Melody is a true pioneer in this field and has helped millions find healing. Her work has changed my life, and it might just change yours, too! From our chat you'll learn: The true meaning of codependency and whether you might be codependent How to heal codependency through creativity What it REALLY even means to love yourself How to not turn on yourself when you're disappointed How to trust the creative process--even if it takes YEARS! Why Codependent No More IS Actually a romance novel Plus never-before-heard insight into Melody's creative process and how she birthed the original Codependent No More! And More! -Remember to subscribe/follow the show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or wherever you get your pods. Please leave us a rating and review- it helps SO much in getting the show out there. And tell a friend about the show- podcasts are very personal and tend to be spread person to person. If this show helped you or made you smile, share the love :) Check out Melody's work and get her new edition of Codependent No More here: https://melodybeattie.com/ Follow the show: @unleashyourinnercreative Follow me: @LaurenLoGrasso --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/unleashyourinnercreative/message