The Beacons Are Lit: A Lord of the Rings Podcast

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The Beacons Are Lit is a Lord of the Rings Podcast discussing all things Middle-Earth including the upcoming Amazon Prime series The Rings of Power, the films, and more. What we lack in extensive Tolkien knowledge we make up for in humor and passion. If y

Crossroads Comedy Theater


    • Aug 18, 2023 LATEST EPISODE
    • infrequent NEW EPISODES
    • 1h 12m AVG DURATION
    • 29 EPISODES


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    Latest episodes from The Beacons Are Lit: A Lord of the Rings Podcast

    Grond! Grond! Grond!: The Return of the King Part 5

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 18, 2023 79:00


    The fellowship returns to cover part five in our years long coverage of Return of the King. In this section we're in the thick of battle and all hell is breaking loose. Arachnophobia grips Frodo, Gothmog's all do as I say not as I do, the Orcs are moments away from starting the wave, The ghosts get to work, Denathor finna burn Faramir alive, Gandalf gets caught slippin, The Witch King becomes distracted very easily, the Rohirrim and the Bivouacers arrive. We'll be back soon with Part 6. The post Grond! Grond! Grond!: The Return of the King Part 5 appeared first on Crossroads Comedy Theater.

    It Has Been Remade: The Return of the King Part 4

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 7, 2023 77:04


    Elrond arrives with refurbed gifts and raised stakes, Aragorn and the Scoobies go g-g-ghost hunting, Gothmog gets embarrassed in front of his boys, Denathor gets walloped. Meanwhile the people of Minas Tirith like we got no Rohan, we got no Aragorn, our soldier's heads are fallin' off! The post It Has Been Remade: The Return of the King Part 4 appeared first on Crossroads Comedy Theater.

    The Beacons Are Lit: The Return of the King Part 3

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 24, 2023 75:10


    We return a mini hiatus to hit part 3 of our coverage of Return of the King. It's our golden episode! The part of the film in which we get our podcast name and boy do we milk the moment. We welcome steward of Kelly's throne, Kirsten LaCerda, to discuss lighting the beacons, sharing the load, bring your hobbit to work day, the many Mogs, and much more. The post The Beacons Are Lit: The Return of the King Part 3 appeared first on Crossroads Comedy Theater.

    Show Us the Meaning of Haste: The Return of the King Part 2

    Play Episode Listen Later May 29, 2023 65:34


    After an 8 month hiatus, the Beacons have once again been lit. The fellowship has assembled to continue our coverage of the original trilogy now hitting The Return of The King. In what will likely the first episode of a ten part series we cover Gollum being a morning person, Saruman the Shit Talker, Wormtongue sympathizers, Gimli getting wet, Theoden's Soap Box, Gandalf the White having no chill, and so much more be it related to the movie or not. The post Show Us the Meaning of Haste: The Return of the King Part 2 appeared first on Crossroads Comedy Theater.

    A Fool, But An Honest Fool He Remains: The Return of the King Part 1

    Play Episode Listen Later May 14, 2023 69:24


    After an 8 month hiatus, the Beacons have once again been lit. The fellowship has assembled to continue our coverage of the original trilogy now hitting The Return of The King. In what will likely the first episode of a ten part series we cover Gollum being a morning person, Saruman the Shit Talker, Wormtongue sympathizers, Gimli getting wet, Theoden's Soap Box, Gandalf the White having no chill, and so much more be it related to the movie or not. The post A Fool, But An Honest Fool He Remains: The Return of the King Part 1 appeared first on Crossroads Comedy Theater.

    ROP S01E08: Nenya Business

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 25, 2022 78:53


    This episode of the Beacons Are Lit covers season 1 episode 8 of the Rings of Power titled “Alloyed.” The Sauron / Stranger guessing game is mostly at an end and, in the words of Dennis Green, “They are who we thought they were” … for the most part. Earion likes to do drorings, Celebrimbor […] The post ROP S01E08: Nenya Business appeared first on Crossroads Comedy Theater.

    ROP S01E07: Sometimes Less is Mordor

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 14, 2022 80:45


    After some scheduling issues we have returned to cover season 1 episode 7 of the Rings of Power titled “The Eye.” Be sure to listen to this before you watch the finale! It’s the aftermath of Mount Doom exploding and somehow mostly everyone in its path is still alive and found a way to get […] The post ROP S01E07: Sometimes Less is Mordor appeared first on Crossroads Comedy Theater.

    ROP S01E06: The Old Switcheroo

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 4, 2022 70:53


    This episode of The Beacons Are Lit: A Lord of the Rings Podcast covers season 1 episode 6 of the Rings of Power titled “Udûn.” The Numenorians race to a battle they don’t know is happening, Arondir struggles against an big Orc mini-boss, Galadriel competes in the Middle-Earth X games, Halbrand becomes the King of […] The post ROP S01E06: The Old Switcheroo appeared first on Crossroads Comedy Theater.

    ROP S01E05: Middle-Earth or Burst

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 27, 2022 75:25


    This episode of The Beacons Are Lit: A Lord of the Rings Podcast covers season 1 episode 5 of the Rings of  Power titled “Partings.” Galadriel her ragtag band of Numenorian skilled workers head for Middle-Earth, Bronwyn gets her village to help her fight Adar and the orcs and immediately loses half of them to […] The post ROP S01E05: Middle-Earth or Burst appeared first on Crossroads Comedy Theater.

    ROP S01E04: Who’s Your Orc Daddy

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 20, 2022 65:25


    This episode of The Beacons Are Lit: A Lord of the Rings Podcast covers season 1 episode 4 of the Rings of  Power titled “The Great Wave.” Galadriel enlists an army of factory workers to take down Sauron, Numenor’s future is gonna get wet, the Dwarves can’t keep their precious gray metal secret or safe, […] The post ROP S01E04: Who’s Your Orc Daddy appeared first on Crossroads Comedy Theater.

    ROP S01E03: Release the Chihuahwarg

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 13, 2022 89:16


    In this episode of The Beacons Are Lit: A Lord of the Rings Podcast we discuss Season One Episode 3 titled “Adar.” What’s the deal with the warg look? Who is Adar? Are the Harfoots right or wrong to leave people behind? What’s it take to get into the Builder’s Guild? These questions and more […] The post ROP S01E03: Release the Chihuahwarg appeared first on Crossroads Comedy Theater.

    Rings of Power S01E01-2: We Come to It At Last

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 6, 2022 100:42


    In this episode of The Beacons Are Lit: A Lord of the Rings Podcast we at long last discuss actual episodes of The Rings of Power. We dive into both Episode 1 (A Shadow of the Past) and Episode 2 (Adrift). Does the show hold up to the price tag of a billion dollars, the […] The post Rings of Power S01E01-2: We Come to It At Last appeared first on Crossroads Comedy Theater.

    The Edge of a Knife: A Rings of Power Preview

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 16, 2022 43:31


    In this episode of The Beacons Are Lit: A Lord of the Rings Podcast we take our first, full look at the Rings of Power trailer. We talk about our hopes and fears for the show, play a game of “what’s it about?”, discuss the recent Time article (linked here), and dream of people leaving […] The post The Edge of a Knife: A Rings of Power Preview appeared first on Crossroads Comedy Theater.

    The Ents Are Going to War: The Two Towers Part 7

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 25, 2022 77:49


    In this episode of The Beacons Are Lit: A Lord of the Rings Podcast we continue our journey through the Two Towers with Part 7. This is our last episode of the Two Towers coverage. Yes, we finished one episode earlier than our expected 8 episodes. This part sees Faramir showing his quality when it […] The post The Ents Are Going to War: The Two Towers Part 7 appeared first on Crossroads Comedy Theater.

    So It Begins: The Two Towers Part 6

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 14, 2022 67:54


    In this episode of The Beacons Are Lit: A Lord of the Rings Podcast we continue our journey through the Two Towers. Merry gets frustrated with all the Ents, Pippin is content to get back home, Aragorn escapes death and arrives at Helm’s Deep, Theoden resents being questioned about literally everything, an old man kicks […] The post So It Begins: The Two Towers Part 6 appeared first on Crossroads Comedy Theater.

    He’s … Dead: The Two Towers Part 5

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 30, 2022 51:36


    In this episode of The Beacons Are Lit: A Lord of the Rings Podcast we continue our journey through the Two Towers. Wormtongue tips Saruman off to the weakness of Helm’s Deep, Faramir daydreams about his brother, we get a taste of Denathor that’s missing from the theatrical cut, Gollum regains control of Smeagol, and […] The post He’s … Dead: The Two Towers Part 5 appeared first on Crossroads Comedy Theater.

    Boilem Mashem Stickeminastew: The Two Towers Part 4

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 27, 2022 78:51


    In this episode of The Beacons Are Lit: A Lord of the Rings Podcast we continue our journey through the Two Towers. Saruman cooks up some sick burns for Gandalf, Wormtongue takes great interest in Aragorn’s jewelry, Theoden has a mad post-possession hangover, Eowyn’s got her eyes set on the Ranger, and Frodo’s snooping gets […] The post Boilem Mashem Stickeminastew: The Two Towers Part 4 appeared first on Crossroads Comedy Theater.

    Breathe the Free Air Again, My Friend: The Two Towers Part 3

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 14, 2022 58:11


    In this episode of The Beacons Are Lit: A Lord of the Rings Podcast we continue our journey through the Two Towers. Gandalf saves King Theoden with some extraness, Grima skedaddles out of Rohan, Frodo and Sam reach the Black Gate where Sam pulls a Took, Merri and Pippin are left in the forest to […] The post Breathe the Free Air Again, My Friend: The Two Towers Part 3 appeared first on Crossroads Comedy Theater.

    The White Wizard Will Know: The Two Towers Part 2

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 10, 2022 68:32


    In this episode of The Beacons Are Lit: A Lord of the Rings Podcast we continue our journey through the Two Towers. Frodo kerplunks into the dead marshes, Wormtongue is trying to Weekend at Bernie’s King Theoden, Gandalf gets extra extra, Treebeard turns in the “orcs,” Aragorn breaks a toe, and Eomer gets voted off […] The post The White Wizard Will Know: The Two Towers Part 2 appeared first on Crossroads Comedy Theater.

    You Will Take Us to the Black Gate: The Two Towers Part 1

    Play Episode Listen Later May 24, 2022 70:57


    In this episode of The Beacons Are Lit: A Lord of the Rings Podcast we begin the second leg of our journey as we dive into the extended edition of the Two Towers. Would Theoden’s signature banishing Eomer hold up in court? Is ethics covered in Orc school? Who is Saruman talking to? These questions […] The post You Will Take Us to the Black Gate: The Two Towers Part 1 appeared first on Crossroads Comedy Theater.

    The Ringer Awards for the Fellowship of the Ring

    Play Episode Listen Later May 13, 2022 62:54


    In this episode of The Beacons Are Lit: A Lord of the Rings Podcast is our look back at the Fellowship of the Ring via our Ringer Awards! We have a bunch of categories such as Best Fight, Most Valuable Player, Worst Line of Dialogue, Funniest Moment, etc. We recap and discuss the movie through […] The post The Ringer Awards for the Fellowship of the Ring appeared first on Crossroads Comedy Theater.

    My Brother, My Captain, My King: The Fellowship of the Ring (Part 7)

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 10, 2022 69:57


    In this episode of The Beacons Are Lit: A Lord of the Rings Podcast we cover the events from the Argonath through the end when Frodo and Sam set off on their own. Why is Legolas always so cryptic? Why did Lurtz decide that was the time to showboat? Why is the last 15 minutes […] The post My Brother, My Captain, My King: The Fellowship of the Ring (Part 7) appeared first on Crossroads Comedy Theater.

    You Will Find Your Courage: The Fellowship of the Ring (Part 6)

    Play Episode Listen Later Feb 15, 2022 68:52


    In this episode of The Beacons Are Lit: A Lord of the Rings Podcast we cover the events following the fall of Gandalf through the passing into the realm of Gondor under the Argonath. Did Legolas know what the elves were singing about Gandalf? Was Galadriel just trying to get rid of things before moving? […] The post You Will Find Your Courage: The Fellowship of the Ring (Part 6) appeared first on Crossroads Comedy Theater.

    Fly, You Fools!: The Fellowship of the Ring (Part 5)

    Play Episode Listen Later Feb 4, 2022 72:46


    In this episode of The Beacons Are Lit: A Lord of the Rings Podcast we cover the events following the Council of Elrond up until the Fellowship’s escape from Moria (or most of the Fellowship anyway). We talk about Gimli hyping up Moria for days and then doing nothing to help open the door, the […] The post Fly, You Fools!: The Fellowship of the Ring (Part 5) appeared first on Crossroads Comedy Theater.

    You Cannot Wield It: The Fellowship of the Ring (Part 4)

    Play Episode Listen Later Jan 28, 2022 63:38


    In this episode of The Beacons Are Lit: A Lord of the Rings Podcast we talk about the Council of Elrond. Only the Council of Elrond. In addition to actually discussing the this great scene, we spend too much time talking about Viggo’s “it has no other master” line, discuss the various pronunciations of Morrrdorrr […] The post You Cannot Wield It: The Fellowship of the Ring (Part 4) appeared first on Crossroads Comedy Theater.

    My Tomato’s Burst: The Fellowship of the Ring (Part 3)

    Play Episode Listen Later Jan 14, 2022 76:57


    In this episode of The Beacons Are Lit: A Lord of the Rings Podcast we talk about events immediately following leaving Bree to just before the Council of Elrond. What is elevensies? Was that one Ring Wraith trying to sneak off? Why didn’t Elrond end this mess 3,000 years ago? These and many other questions […] The post My Tomato’s Burst: The Fellowship of the Ring (Part 3) appeared first on Crossroads Comedy Theater.

    I Know What Hunts You: The Fellowship of the Ring (Part 2)

    Play Episode Listen Later Jan 7, 2022 81:57


    In this episode of The Beacons Are Lit: A Lord of the Rings Podcast we talk about events from Frodo and Sam seeing the wood elves on up until Strider makes his debut and saves the hobbits. We also discuss such important things as Saruman’s cleaning habits, Aragon’s choice of introduction, if the ring would […] The post I Know What Hunts You: The Fellowship of the Ring (Part 2) appeared first on Crossroads Comedy Theater.

    Shire! Baggins!: The Fellowship of the Ring (Part 1)

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 23, 2021 101:15


    This second episode of The Beacons Are Lit: A Lord of the Rings Podcast covers the first 45 minutes of the extended edition of the Fellowship of the Ring. We discuss the prologue that almost wasn't, Gandalf arriving precisely when he means to, Bilbo's speech preparation, Gandalf's trip to the library, and the first steps […] The post Shire! Baggins!: The Fellowship of the Ring (Part 1) appeared first on Crossroads Comedy Theater.

    Fellowship, Assemble!: A One Hour Trailer

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 14, 2021 56:23


    The Beacons Are Lit is a Lord of the Rings Podcast discussing all things Middle-Earth including the films, upcoming Amazon Prime series, and more. What we lack in extensive Tolkien knowledge we make up for in humor and passion. If you enjoy LOTR you will enjoy us enjoying LOTR too. Features Mike Marbach (host), Kelly […] The post Fellowship, Assemble!: A One Hour Trailer appeared first on Crossroads Comedy Theater.

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