The Substantial Meal

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There was a dark time in Irish history when having a drink in a pub with some friends required the additional purchase of a “substantial meal.” Countless nights of talking absolute nonsense were lost. To combat this, three friends decided to crank up thei

Collaborative Studios


    • Sep 22, 2022 LATEST EPISODE
    • every other week NEW EPISODES
    • 52m AVG DURATION
    • 50 EPISODES


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    Latest episodes from The Substantial Meal

    The 50th Episode

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 22, 2022 70:03


    This week, it's the 50th episode of The Substantial Meal

    Ep 49 - Pub Quiz

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 1, 2022 50:17


    This week on the show, Justine, Martin, and Dermot invite you to join them for the inaugural Substantial Meal Pub Quiz! Get your pens and papers ready! The picture round is going to be tricky...

    Ep 48 - Ghosted

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 25, 2022 40:36


    This week, Dermot goes fishing, Martin is a good boy, and Justine is chill. She's CHILL, okay?!

    Ep 47 - Squats

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 18, 2022 38:10


    On the show this week, Justine, Martin, and Dermot attempt to find… okay, if you're still reading this, here's the plan this week: take a selfie with an animal, post it to your socials, tag The Substantial Meal, and use the caption “Bond. Jimmy Bond.”

    Ep 46 - Sexy Priest Calendar

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 11, 2022 38:14


    Does anyone actually read these things? If so, prove it by taking a selfie while listening to the podcast, post it to your social media with the caption "I CAN READ!", and tag the Substantial Meal. Let's see who's paying attention.

    Ep 45- 14 Apples a Day

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 4, 2022 36:15


    An apple a day keeps the doctor away. 14 apples a day absolutely will not.

    Ep 44 - You're Welcome

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 28, 2022 39:12


    Join Justine, Martin, and Dermot this week, as problems are solved and cliffhangers are resolved

    Ep 43 - Two Frubes and a Babybel

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 21, 2022 25:47


    On the show this week, Justine, Martin, and Dermot discuss big hammers, fortune tellers, and romantic soups.

    Ep 42 - Mother in the Press

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 14, 2022 42:36


    On the show this week, Justine, Martin, and Dermot have choices to make: fame... or fortune? Murder... or death? Clammy hands... or farts?

    Ep 41 - Pong

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 7, 2022 38:45


    After a short break, we're back with a video game-themed episode, where Justine wants you to wear socks, Martin wants you to cover your thigh tattoos, and Dermot would like to show you his Tetris. It's good to be back.

    Ep 40 - Bouncy Castle Shortage

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 16, 2022 31:03


    This week, Martin gets some acting tips from Justine (Girl Who Downs A Pint in Poster Boys) and Dermot (the guard in Deadly Cuts)

    Ep 39 - Arse Attack

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 9, 2022 37:26


    This week, Martin, Justine, and Dermot answer three important questions: Did James Bond ride his sister in law? Did Pat Kenny ride an elephant? And which one of them is riding Banksy?

    Ep 38 - The Substantial Real

    Play Episode Listen Later May 26, 2022 32:43


    On an introspective edition of the show, Justine, Dermot, and Martin face up to their feelings of struggle, insecurity, and self-doubt in the world of showbiz. Well, two of them do. One of them's doing grand, thanks.

    Ep 37 - Go for the Juggler

    Play Episode Listen Later May 19, 2022 36:58


    This week on the show, Justine, Martin, and Dermot confront their fears, as they delve into the world of phobias and investigate the psychological ramifications of- oh who are we kidding, they go completely off topic and end up talking about sperm banks or some shite. Enjoy!

    Ep 36 - A Lotta Lube and a Werther's Original

    Play Episode Listen Later May 12, 2022 38:54


    This would usually be where we give a vague description of what you can expect from the episode. But as you'll hear, we're mixing things up this week. So instead, here's the opening paragraph from the Wikipedia page for The Lyrics Board: The Lyrics Board was an Irish game show hosted by Aonghus McAnally and then by Eurovision Song Contest 1992 winner Linda Martin. In each episode there are two teams. Each team consists of a piano player/team captain who is joined by two celebrities/singers, at either side. A team would choose a number from one to five, from "the board", revealing a word. The team would then have to sing a song with that related word to remain in charge of 'the board'. If the team sing the secret song which is on the board, then this team would win a point, with the team with the most points declared as the winners.

    Ep 35 - Ladder to Mars

    Play Episode Listen Later May 5, 2022 40:22


    This week, Dermot is tiring, Justine is inspiring, and Martin is firing on all cylinders as they prove they have their fingers on the pulse by covering topical news from two weeks ago, and decide which billionaire they want to ride

    Ep 34 - Sad But Dry

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 28, 2022 32:46


    On this week's episode, we preview festival season, and Martin has a big (and/or small) surprise for Justine and Dermot...

    Ep 33 - One Last Hurrah for the Elderly

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 21, 2022 39:18


    On the show this week, Justine, Martin, and Dermot once again try to focus on the subject of health, but things take a turn for the wurst

    Ep 32 - Abattoir Feet

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 14, 2022 30:51


    On what was supposed to be a health-focused edition of the show this week, Justine, Martin, and Dermot instead lose their minds talking about wrestling for the entire episode. We hope you enjoy it as much as they clearly did.

    Ep 31 - Black Beans, Both Ends

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 7, 2022 34:29


    This week on the show, Martin regales Justine and Dermot with tales from his America trip, including gifts from listeners, horrific food poisoning, and lots of bean talk.

    Ep 30 - April Fools

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 31, 2022 34:50


    This week's episode is all about April Fool's Day! Or is it? But it is. But what if it's not! Because it isn't. But really it is! However that could be an April Fool's? But it isn't. Because it is. We're very high...

    Ep 29 - And the Oscar Goes to...

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 24, 2022 45:28


    This week on the show, Justine, Martin, and Dermot are off to the Oscars! By which we mean they're just talking about the nominated films and performances, having seen maybe four of them? Grab some popcorn and a beverage

    Ep 28 - Paddy's Day

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 17, 2022 46:41


    On the show this week… Guess

    Ep 27 - Snoop Dogg's Trouser Situation

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 10, 2022 31:50


    On the first ever transatlantic episode of The Substantial Meal, Martin (in America) zooms in with Dermot and Justine (in Ireland) to discuss amorous comedy fans, Dublin Comic-Con, and which Irish media personality would make the best Horror Movie villain

    Ep 26 - (What's the Story) Morning After Glory

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 3, 2022 39:05


    On the show this week, Dermot opens the Listener Mailbag, Martin reveals his bathroom habits, and Justine presents a TedTalk on breakfast cereals

    Ep 25 - Taxes with the Stars

    Play Episode Listen Later Feb 24, 2022 39:17


    On the show this week, it's a Ride/Finger/Bog special as Martin, Justine, and Dermot prepare to take over Hollywood

    Ep 24 - External Meatus

    Play Episode Listen Later Feb 17, 2022 77:12


    This week on your favourite guilty pleasure, Justine takes apart the Tinder Swindler, Dermot tries (and fails) to not curse, and it's time for another edition of Martin Angolo's Which is Longer

    Ep 23 - Teddy

    Play Episode Listen Later Feb 10, 2022 74:21


    Love is in the air on the show this week, as Justine reminisces about her first kiss; Dermot tries to think of a 5-letter word for pathetic loser; and Martin has some tips for Valentine's Day xoxo

    Ep 22 - Wookiee Grunt

    Play Episode Listen Later Feb 3, 2022 76:49


    On the show this week, Justine reveals her acting ambitions; Martin is sick of everyone's faces; and Dermot is totally fine about an encounter he had almost 20 years ago.

    Ep 21 - Grease Her Up!

    Play Episode Listen Later Jan 27, 2022 77:25


    On this week's super(hero) episode, Dermot is a lonely nerd, Martin runs the rule over Philip Schofield's journalistic integrity, and Justine considers entering the Rose of Tralee

    Ep 20 - Briefcase of Sorrow

    Play Episode Listen Later Jan 20, 2022 62:21


    On another (but hopefully final!) remotely-recorded episode, Justine, Martin, and Dermot dish out some more helpful advice to listeners; suggest the best cures for the January Blues; and inadvertently concoct a smash-hit country song

    Ep 19 - Started from the Bottom, Now We're Back

    Play Episode Listen Later Jan 13, 2022 71:27


    This week on a remotely-recorded episode, Dermot is depressed, Justine reveals her wrestling crushes, and Martin has some exciting news about everyone's favourite member of Simon & Garfunkel who isn't named Paul

    Ep 18 - Tampon Tomfoolery

    Play Episode Listen Later Jan 6, 2022 70:41


    On the first episode of 2022, Dermot wants to make some personal changes, Martin has his first wedding experience, and Justine absolutely loses her mind. It's gonna be a long year.

    Ep 17 - There's Nothing Wrong with Dogging

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 30, 2021 77:38


    This week on the show, Justine, Martin, and Dermot are swapping dating tips, nuts are placed on a table, and - in a brand new segment - the gang attempt to help YOU with your problems. You're welcome.

    Ep 16 - A Very Substantial Christmas

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 23, 2021 65:24


    On the first ever Christmas edition of The Substantial Meal, Justine updates us on her ear canal drama, Dermot makes hot whiskeys, and Martin whips out his cucumber. God bless us, every one!

    Ep 15 - Stringfellow's Last Words

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 16, 2021 67:03


    This week, Martin, Justine, and Dermot decide to throw an elaborate dinner party, featuring Subway sandwiches, god-awful celebrity impressions, and even worse advice about ear canal blockages.

    Ep 14 - It's Hard to Get Purchase

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 9, 2021 56:03


    On the menu for this episode: Justine, Martin, and Dermot plan their next live show; can you guess the Word of the Week?; and the gang are joined in the studio by special guest, Mike Tyson*.

    Ep 13 - Can You Libel Yourself?

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 2, 2021 72:07


    Hope you're hungry, because The Substantial Meal is BACK! Gorge yourself on Martin Angolo, Justine Stafford, and Dermot Ward, as they discuss the difference between a season and a series, whether a Jaffa Cake is a cake or not, and the best time to use a gift card.

    Ep 12 - Really Good Episode Title

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 27, 2021 75:35


    On the season finale, Justine, Martin, and Dermot display their previously unheard musical abilities; discuss what makes a good podcast host; and then round things off with the nation's favourite, Ride/Finger/Bog See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

    Ep 11 - Death by Bueno

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 19, 2021 66:18


    On the penultimate episode of the season, Angolo, Stafford, and Ward discuss ouija boards; where the nearest active volcanos are located; and who has been the biggest Prick of the Pandemic See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

    Ep 10 - The Oilman Cometh

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 12, 2021 70:58


    This week, Martin, Justine, and Dermot lay out their plans for making the world a better place.God help us all… See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

    Ep 9 - Justine Bieber and the Sixteenth Chapel

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 5, 2021 64:24


    On a music-themed episode, the gang are ALL IN THE SAME ROOM as they discuss whether Wonderwall or Baby Shark is more annoying; how they'd use a life-changing amount of money; and one of Justine's former bandmates features in another edition of Ride/Finger/Bog. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

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