Truth B Told: Conversations About Culture and Power

Remember Terry McMillan's Disappearing Acts? When Zora surrendered her selfhood to Franklin? In what ways have you vanished and what's now your come-back plan? 

We didn't come her to play; we came here to work. Literally. And many of us are still moving at lightning speed from dawn to dusk. Sister Tricia Hersey, found f the Nap Ministries, says "rest is revolution." And we believe her. Are you ready to stop rushing and grinding and begin to revel in rest? 

We are calling out all the cover-ups, shawls and mumuus. Let's let go of the layered look and bring summer sunshine on the parts of our bodies we usually conceal in shame and body negativity. Why sweat in shapewear or wait for some fantasy body? Our skin deserves to glow- today. What area of your body will unveil and treat to a breeze and sun kiss? 

If you knew that we're sometimes scared, petty, lonely and resentful, would you still call us "friend" or still love us? We challenge ourselves to drop the masks of perfection and cultivate relationships with people who are honest enough to share their realness while we gulp, inhale and share ours. So, what's stopping us from being vulnerable? 

Close your eyes. Think movie. Think mood. Think momentum. What films do you rely on to shift your spirit, support your focus, and amp your flow? Spoiler alert: You might be surprised at our choices of FeelGood flicks. Tell us: what films tell stories that are tried and true to you? 

We are going to release all the mystery, eliminate confusion and make it plain. The more we love on ourselves, the better we are at telling others how we want to be loved. Consider telling someone your own truth. Stop leaving clues and give them the answer. What does it take to love you best? 

You already know: Andrea and Tasneem can be like peanut and butter, pepper and mint, Kool and Aid, yin and yang. What comes natural to one is work for the other. What is your instinct, or your assignment? Is it to face life summoning sweet gentility? Or cruising through it with stern focus? 

Let's give the new year a new look. Instead of creating a list of "need-to-do's," we have a litany of things we plan to "keep-on-doing."  Truth is it's almost 2023 and we like what we see! Sometimes growth is more about continuation and less about transformation. What goodness can you salute from 2022 that you'll keep up and keep going? 

We are conditioned to believe there is one person born to meet all of our needs. Some call them soulmates. We call it illusion. What if our needs are meant to be fulfilled by community and not one lone love? 

We are ever-changing, ever-expanding, ever-shifting. These versions of us aren't who we've always been or who we are becoming. In this episode we decided to interview ourselves and ask: What would your present self tell your younger self about life and living? 

Said in our best Khalid voice, "can we just talk?" In this final episode of the season, we are taking time to listen to you. You've told us your opinions; you've asked questions that challenge us; you've shared candidly and we absolutely love it. Truth is, this episode is all about you! 

Accepting our struggles doesn't mean they aren't hard to deal with in the moment. The truth is, we both have had some real stank, ugly, funky days, weeks, and months. Some days had us on the ropes, pinned down and fighting like no-name contenders. We were fighting to get out of the icky funk we were shoved into. Been in that ring lately? How did you fight the funk? We came out swinging. 

Ohhhh, American South. We know there's more to your charm than buttery biscuits and magnolia trees, plantation tours and country tunes. Our relationship with you is complicated, but...it's ours. And we are telling the truth about what we love, and sometimes loathe, about our Southern roots. 

Truth is sometimes we get comfortable in small spaces. Somehow we grow accustomed to playing small, disappearing, breathing in gasps, silencing opinions, and masking gifts. Who would we be if we lived our big, bold truths? If we lifted our chins, straightened our backs and walked in our fullness? 

We want to keep it real: we've been telling ourselves half-truths because we can't face whole facts. Upon further self-examination, we want to come clean with our Truth B Told family!  We discovered that some of our proclamations are more smoke than fire. 

Certainty ain't certain. Reasoning fluctuates. Thresholds contract. Questions emerge. Doubt abounds. Truth is, some things require re-examination, fresh eyes and shifting perspectives. If we're still thinking and speaking and believing old-school beliefs, perhaps it's time for a shift. How willing are you to see something differently?

We stay seeking practices that anchor us in focus and feel good. One of us finds peace in household plants, the other power walks through the greenways in the city. Whatever works! Truth is, sometimes we neglect the righteous rituals when life swerves, dips, and shimmies. Name the nuance-  romance, vacation, jobs, care taking- then watch our elevation routines lose luster and priority. What rituals do you need to dust off and give new life? What practices will you restore for your own satisfaction? 

Facts up front: we know a few things about a lot of things but not everything about everything. We are sojourners of the truth and this conversation makes it plain. With candor, curiosity and comedy, we shared our sacred space with a few men as they helped us better understand relationships, intimacy and connection.  We got an earful, friends! We hope it inspires you to initiate conversations that request vulnerability and personal truth. 

Fellas: You all ever go to the movies with your friends and eat from the same tub of popcorn? Or sit side-by-side in the theater slurping from the same drink? Or use a one-stall public restroom to get dressed together? Do you ever notice the physical intimacy between women and wonder what it would be like to have homeboys who tuck in your shirt tag or eat Skittles out of your hand? We want to know: do men do friendship the way women do friendship? Tell us the truth! 

Fellas: You all ever go to the movies with your friends and eat from the same tub of popcorn? Or sit side-by-side in the theater slurping from the same drink? Or use a one-stall public restroom to get dressed together? Do you ever notice the physical intimacy between women and wonder what it would be like to have homeboys who tuck in your shirt tag or eat Skittles out of your hand? We want to know: do men do friendship the way women do friendship? Tell us the truth! 

We hear it all the time from our white supporters. How can we help? How do I become an ally?  Truth is, some help isn't helpful at all. And some allyship is powerful enough to convince us that maybe, just maybe, we all are going to be alright. 

We are guiding our children to be free-thinkers, to be visionaries, to believe they are worthy, beautiful and brilliant. But who are their compliments? Have we given them so much of a good thing that isolation is an option? 

We are guiding our children to be free-thinkers, to be visionaries, to believe they are worthy, beautiful and brilliant. But who are their compliments? Have we given them so much of a good thing that isolation is an option? 

Boundaries! More than a mental health buzzword. How do we deal with the culture and conflict to sacrifice self? We know no one owes the world all their time, energy and attention but when do we choose to build a boundary? And when do we choose to move its borders? Is it possible to create boundaries and yet maintain healthy relationships? 

Boundaries! More than a mental health buzzword. How do we deal with the culture and conflict to sacrifice self? We know no one owes the world all their time, energy and attention but when do we choose to build a boundary? And when do we choose to move its borders? Is it possible to create boundaries and yet maintain healthy relationships? 

Some say half-truths are just "storytelling." Others say they're innocent exaggerations. And some say they are just lies, plain and simple- no matter how you spin it. There are endless topics that we aren't fully honest about; and it's time to spill the beans. 

Some say half-truths are just "storytelling." Others say they're innocent exaggerations. And some say they are just lies, plain and simple- no matter how you spin it. There are endless topics that we aren't fully honest about; and it's time to spill the beans. 

We see the grand gestures on social media. The weekends on the yacht. The Gucci, Fendi and Louis. The diamonds with more carats than the produce section. We see the love but we wonder: is true love also seen in the everyday unannounced acts like oiling scalps, zipping the back of a dress, afternoon phone calls just because and small neck massages? 

Seduced by the soft news stories, we ignore issues that persist and demand attention. So while we’re talking about brown suits and exposed shoulders, saxophone solos and titles, we are not paying attention to: children held in detention centers; political prisoners in Guantanamo Bay; wage gap; voter suppression. What distracts us and what do we need to pay more attention to?

This COVID year has been tough. It's been a time of loss, fear, anxiety, fatigue and isolation.  So many of us are weary, weeping and waiting for relief.  We feel you. Tasneem and Andrea are grateful for survival and fascinated with the opportunities to save themselves from unbridled despair. Tell us: What are you doing to save your own life?

Soul Speak. Some call it "code-switching" but this is Andrea and Tasneem's phrase for the words and phrases that rise from comfort, familiarity and cultural connection. Some say the switching exemplifies assimilation, others insist it's a celebration of multilingualism. Listen to this examination of the cultural codes embedded in communication and share your truth: What languages, expressions and words connect you to your soul, to home? 

Some say women are too fickle for good friendships. We’re catty. Petty. Back-biting. Evil. Watch your back. Yet we know the sanctuary of sisterhood. We have found it in one another and we extend it. Sister is a high title. Who are your sister-friends? And what defines your bond?

This episode explores the ways of the culture vulture, the idea imposter, the heritage hijacker. Tasneem and Andrea explore cultural appropriation. Who gets to rock African mud cloth? And who doesn't?  Who gets to sing the blues? And who shouldn't? 

Music is the call for revolution. While some songs move our bodies, others shift our thoughts.  Listen in as Andrea and Tasneem share the work of two artists whose talent and lyricism activate personal peace and social consciousness.   

Sages declared 2020, "The Year of Perfect Vision." Ohhhhhh, what change we witnessed! Tasneem and Andrea tell personal truths about the lessons of 2020 and their new vision for 2021. What experiences will be released? What do they hope to attract? 

We are numb, fam. Frozen in feelings that range from fatigue to frustration. So many tragedies. So much footage. Andrea and Tasneem examine the empitiness that follows yet another shooting, yet another disgrace, yet more heartache. 

Tasneem and Andrea discuss the makings of the hit song that reveres female sexuality, elevates genital lubrication and celebrates feeling good. *Parental discretion

Andrea and Tasneem examine lyrics from the Megan thee Stallion and Beyonce remix to explore the makings of "good girls" and ones who are, well, "wild and undomesticated."

Andrea and Tasneem talk about their favorite podcast series and how they have their minds spinning about monsters, Black people, public schools and white power.

Andrea and Tasneem insist that Blackness is not about burden but excellence, victory and celebration. But you tell us: What do you love about black culture, black identity and black lives?

Learn more about the cultural lessons from Andrea and Tasneem's childhoods. When did they begin to notice social injustice? Who guided them toward careers that prioritize conversations about race and identity as more than than just talk? When have you noticed?

Andrea Blackman and Tasneem A. Grace are two sojourners seeking the truth. This podcast, Truth B Told, examines beliefs about race, social justice and identity using the comfort of conversation.