Collected Layers

Avicii had a profound impact on our Founder, John Tessitore. We marked Avicii's passing last year with an ode to that impact and a conversation around mental health and music.

Enjoy the last episode of Collected Layers season 3! We'll be back later this year!   From my books ‘Letters to the Universe’ up until ‘Andromeda’ I was doing a lot of soul-searching.  I was trying to find out who I was.  I was trying to make any sense that I could out of the things I had went through in my 20’s.  I finally knew in my head that I wanted to live, I just didn’t physically feel that way.  My earlier writing was a product of my seclusion and meditation.  Although it was more positive than my schizoaffective and panic-driven-manifesto days, it was still very ungrounded.  Yes, I was aware and hopeful, however I was not very present and still felt like I was watching my days pass away from afar.  I was the third-person omniscient narrator of my story, and it was boring always knowing what was going to happen.  With ‘Meanwhile On Earth’ I decided to take a break from the spiritual and visit this wonderful place called Earth.  It was my attempt at coming back to myself.  And when I got back I was very surprised that the talk of the town (more the talk of the internet) was sexism, racism, lies, and fear.  Even the people that claimed they were there to serve, were really just serving up fear. Damn, I thought I’d be coming back to a place of peace, love, and understanding?  It was with ‘Meanwhile On Earth’ that I realized why so many people like myself ran away to a journal to get lost deep into the mind.  It felt a little safer in there.  “Meanwhile on Earth, I don’t want to hear another word.”

As caseworkers and social workers, the front line means getting someone to the next day. Ned and Grace are a father/ daughter combination who work with at risk populations in New Jersey. This often means helping individuals with mental illnesses and substance abuse disorders get beds at inpatient facilities, help find jobs, housing, security, among a range of other services. A key piece of this episode is how long many sufferers, from both substance abuse issues and mental health issues, have to maintain motivation before they can get the proper inpatient care they need to succeed. People like Grace, Ned and the tens of thousands of other case workers do the work on the front lines, helping those suffering today. Music by bensound.com

The fourth poetry book that I wrote was named Andromeda. You’ve probably heard the word Andromeda if you are into Astronomy or Greek Mythology. So it won’t be a surprise when I tell you that this book was inspired by both. I have always had a passion for digging into the roots and meanings of why things are the way that they are.  How did some of the earliest forms of civilization see stories in stars? Or were the stars telling the stories? I guess we’ll never really know but I was hell-bent on trying my best to find out. I can promise you this, I do not have a magical cure for depression, however I will promise you that if you go out and look at the stars you’ll be amazed again and again and again. Without fail you will have to ruminate that your life IS worth living after all. If you feel like you can’t see the miracle that is your life, go outside and look up tonight. If Andromeda was saved and still shines bright, you are going to be alright.

Check out the 2nd half of Joseph Fusaro's life story - one of the best raw conversations we've ever had on Collected Layers.

What's going on in the JCK Foundation world? We just finished our first set of Legends Programs!

Harmony, harmony, harmony…. This word replayed on a figurative loop in my head after I release my second book Letters to the Universe.  I had noticed a trend in my writing.  I would get really frustrated, irritated, and overwhelmed at the beginning of starting the first 2 books.  I would then feel this need to spill my frustrations onto paper.  After the first 10 to 20 poems I would start to feel a little better.  Still anxious, still overwhelmed, but somehow a little better than before.  Then for the final 100+ pages of the writing process I could somewhat enjoy it without feeling like I was caught somewhere between the tidal wave and its undertow. Stuck in the foam with just enough air to choke.  I was now treading water, but damn, I wanted to float.   Why was one of my favorite things causing me so much stress?  Was this a microcosm of my life?  Did life need to be stressful?  Does a job need to be difficult and boring?  Does a relationship need to be dramatic and psychologically devastating?  I had all of these questions and the answer seemed pretty plain to see. No.  Could I teach myself how to separate myself and my life from the status quo?   Life is supposed to be filled with peace, grace, joy, fun, contentment, and ease.  I needed to find my Harmony. So I wrote until it made sense to me.

It's tough to fit Joseph Fusaro into a description. We recorded a 2.5 hour interview with him last summer where we recorded his life story, mostly in chronological order. We split this episode into 2 parts to capture the serious ups and downs he's had with manic depression and the myriad of other struggles he faced tangentially. You've also heard Joseph on our blog the last few weeks, he's a prolific writer and hosts a podcast himself called Hysteria Radio, where he talks about the connections between art, creativity and mental health. Check back in next week for Part 2.

Check out the 3rd chapter of our collaboration with the talented writer, Joseph Fusaro. Big hint! We recorded an interview with Joseph last summer and will be releasing it on Sunday May 5th in honor of Mental Health Awareness Month! Sit back and enjoy the calming voice and writing of Joseph Fusaro.

Matt Shyman has been through many battles in his life, from being diagnosed with depression to being diagnosed with cancer, his radical acceptance and resilience is something to be admired. When you hear him tell a story, you can’t help but listen and his “cartoon character” like charisma made for a really special interview. Editing this weeks podcast is another special man, Peter Esposito. A longtime listener with a heart of gold and keen ear for content, “Pops” provided a special perspective as this week's guest producer and host.

As I started putting together my poems for “A Little More Time” I wanted to make sure that I was being as authentic as I could without ending the book on a sad or hopeless note. I decided that the best way to do this was to start with only a few pieces from the years that I felt suicidal and gradually take pieces from my timeline leading up to 2013 when I first started to feel like myself again. One of the most important things that I figured out from writing the last 22 years is that I feel better when I leave off my journals with a positive message. Now, even on my worst days, even if I write 10 pages about how helpless, humiliated, and disgusted I may feel, I will make it a point to turn it around for the last few lines. When I end with pain, I felt pain. When I ended with hope, it left room for me to keep going. I felt a little more free. I felt a little more able to cope with my life and the world around me. There is a lot of truth to the saying “ We write our own story.” I think that “A Little More Time” is where I first started to realize this.

Today would have been John Kelly's 33rd birthday. We've decided to make it a yearly tradition at the JCK Foundation to honor his memory by re-airing the podcast we created in 2018 in his honor. This episode is John’s story told by friends, family members, and acquaintances. We share their memories of him to show the world who John Kelly was and why his legacy will never die. Sit back, relax, and enjoy learning about the legend that is John Cleaver Kelly. More stories of John >> JCKFoundation.org/johnkelly

It’s been 8 years since we lost John Kelly. Today is always a heartbreaking day. We miss John so much, his love and energy lit up a room. He was always looking for adventure, and nothing filled him with more joy than seeing a smile on your face. We wish everyone got to meet John and experience the happiness and comfort he gave to so many of us.vJohn was a visionary, he didn’t live his life by the book and he constantly fought for the underdog and for what was right. He wasn’t afraid to dream big, and his vision lives on stronger than ever as he continues to push the JCK Foundation forward. We will never stop dreaming and we love you so much legend. Thank you for being you.  More stories of John >> JCKFoundation.org/johnkelly 

It’s our pleasure to share with you the incredible writing of Joseph Fusaro. Joseph reminds us so much of John Kelly. His natural ability to connect and his instinct for kindness isn’t something you see everyday. We'll be featuring Joe on our blog for the next few months as he tells his story through the progression of his writing. Each excerpt is from a book of poetry or prose Joe wrote over the last decade. Start with Chapter 1 of “A Little More Time” and get lost in the work of a legend.

Enjoy the introduction to The Legends Program!

On this week's episode of #collectedlayers we talk about the faces behind the #KellysHeroes campaign. There's nothing more rewarding than seeing people believe in the work we do at the JCK Foundation. We share the stories of our first 9 "Kelly's Heroes" hosts and how their dedication pushes the #JCKF forward in more ways than one. Guests: John, MikeHost: JohnEditor: MikeProducers: John, MikeMusicians: TaiCheeba, JaōGraphic: Dom Frabizio We're now available on Apple Podcasts, Google Play and Spotify. JCKFoundation.org/collectedlayers

Chris Leddy of @mindful.memos is not only a great writer, but a true explorer of the mind. Here's a short piece introducing himself, he'll be featured on our blog multiple times over the next few months. Check us out on Apple Podcasts, Google Play and Spotify. JCKFoundation.org/collectedlayers Writer: Chris LeddyReader: John TessitoreProducer: Mike EspositoPhotographer: Unknown

This week on #collectedlayers we talk with the co-founder of Project Heal, Liana Rosenman. Tomorrow marks the beginning of Eating Disorder Awareness Week and we are so honored to have Liana on this episode. When Liana first struggled with her eating disorder, it happened almost silently. It took a family friend (who had struggled herself) to connect the dots for Liana before she finally started getting the help she needed. This is a common theme as 70 percent of people who suffer from an eating disorder don't get treatment. It's a disorder that often is greeted with confusion and silence. She used her experience to create Project Heal while still in High School to provide hope to others suffering. Guests: Liana RosenmanHost: John TessitoreEditor: Mike EspositoProducers: John Tessitore, Mike EspositoMusicians: Bobby Davis, TaiCheeba, JaōPhotographer: Unknown We're now available on Apple Podcasts, Google Play and Spotify. JCKFoundation.org/collectedlayers

My name is Alyssa Gutierrez and I'm a 16-year old passionate about eating disorder recovery. I strive to help others find the light that hid from me for so long. No one should have to endure such painful and harrowing behaviors as I did. I, along with others, are encouraging you to start and continue recovery. Enjoy our 5th audio blog. Check us out on Apple Podcasts, Google Play and Spotify. JCKFoundation.org/collectedlayers Writer: Alyssa GutierrezReader: Mike EspositoProducer: Mike EspositoPhotographer: Gracie Beth

Dating is something that inevitably effects our mental health, sometimes for the better, sometimes for the worse. The anonymous B + L talk with Mike and John about some of the mechanics behind when and how to open up to your partner about mental health, as well as how to respond if your partner opens up to you! We also touch upon the importance of communication, language, consent and much more. Guests: B+LHost: John TessitoreEditor: Mike EspositoProducers: John Tessitore, Mike EspositoMusicians: Joanna Schlatter, TaiCheeba, JaōGraphic: Dominick Frabizio We're now available on Apple Podcasts, Google Play and Spotify. JCKFoundation.org/collectedlayers

Director of the JCK Foundation, Mike Esposito, writes about what it means to have a friend like John with lived experience and how that helped push him through a tough time in his own life. We're now available on Apple Podcasts, Google Play and Spotify. JCKFoundation.org/collectedlayers Writer: Mike EspositoPhotographer: Ron Tu — Punta del Diablo, Uruguay

This week on #collectedlayers we re-revisit an old favorite, Clint Malarchuk. Compassion is one of the beautiful qualities Clint possesses. He's the type of guy that will stay on the phone with you until you feel better, simply because he cares about you. He's gone through some unfathomable battles in his life, but has persevered. To him his purpose is simple, to help people, and he does that as good as anyone on this earth. John and Mike also dive into how deeply they support 12-step programs as a form of support and recovery. Guests: Clint MalarchukHost: John TessitoreEditor: Mike EspositoProducers: John Tessitore, Mike EspositoMusicians: Bobby Davis, TaiCheeba, JaōPhotographer: Dominick Frabizio We're now available on Apple Podcasts, Google Play and Spotify. JCKFoundation.org/collectedlayers

A reprise from the Doming Out archives! Here's our 3rd audio blog titled "Break the Stigma." We're now available on Apple Podcasts, Google Play and Spotify. JCKFoundation.org/collectedlayers Writer: Anthony RizzoEditor: Mike EspositoReader: John TessitoreProducer: Mike EspositoPhotographer: Mike Esposito

SMA stands for Self Mutilators Anonymous, a 12-step program designed to help those who turn to self harm (NSSI, non-suicidal self injury) as a coping mechanism and consider it an addiction. This week we bring you into a meeting to hear 5 different "qualifications" of SMA members. A qualification is essentially a brief history of their lives and how they got to SMA. We hope you listen with intent and compassion, millions of people in the United States use 12-step programs to cope with a variety of struggles but this SMA meeting is 1 of only 3 in the country (1 in New York, 2 in California) despite the program being started by James McLaughlin and Shelly in 1986. They're also the only self harm support group that we know of in the world. Thank you to James McLaughlin, Amanda Beausoleil, Garrett Allen, Liz and Sarah for shining a light on this cause.    Meeting Begins (2:12) James (5:49) Amanda (18:19) Liz (30:37) Garrett (41:43) Sarah (55:56) Closing Statement (1:05:04)   SMA Website: http://www.selfmutilatorsanonymous.org/home.html   Guests: James McLaughlin, Amanda Beausoleil, Garrett Allen, Liz and SarahHost: John TessitoreEditor: Mike EspositoProducers: John Tessitore, Mike EspositoMusicians: L.Farber, TaiCheeba, JaōPhotographer: Dominick Frabizio   We're now available on Apple Podcasts, Google Play and Spotify. JCKFoundation.org/collectedlayers 

Collected Layers has some new bells and whistles! Here's our 2nd audio blog titled "Surely, You Must Know." We're now available on Apple Podcasts, Google Play and Spotify. JCKFoundation.org/collectedlayers Writer: Alicia LutesEditor: Mica ArbeiterReader: John TessitoreProducer: Mike EspositoPhotographer: Unknown

Tom Berry and his partner, CJ Mena, join John and Mike to map out the commonalities between epilepsy and mental health. Tom talks about growing up with John Kelly and the day he learned of his passing in 2011. John and Mike use the last half of the episode to debate optimism vs. realism. Listen exclusively on our website. We're now available on Apple Podcasts, Google Play and Spotify. JCKFoundation.org/collectedlayers Guests: Tom Berry, CJ MenaHost: John TessitoreEditor: Mike EspositoProducers: John Tessitore, Mike EspositoMusicians: L.Farber, TaiCheeba, JaōPhotographer: Unknown

Collected Layers has some new bells and whistles! Here's our 1st audio newsletter exclusively on our website. We're now available on Apple Podcasts, Google Play and Spotify. JCKFoundation.org/collectedlayers Writer: Mike EspositoEditor: Mike EspositoReaders: Mike Esposito, John TessitoreProducer: Mike EspositoPhotographers: Mike Esposito, Tom Murphy Sr.

Collected Layers has some new bells and whistles! Here's our 1st audio blog titled "Inheriting My Father's Mental Health." We're now available on Apple Podcasts, Google Play and Spotify. JCKFoundation.org/collectedlayers Writer: Aly SemigranEditor: Mica ArbeiterReader: Toni BantaProducer: Mike EspositoPhotographer: Toni Banta

Welcome to Collected Layers, an effort by John Tessitore and Mike Esposito at the JCK Foundation to document society's response to mental health. We started recording interviews a few years ago under the moniker "Doming Out." A term Tessitore and his mentor, John Kelly, used when describing their intrusive thoughts. John Kelly succumbed to his OCD and depression in 2011, but we never forgot the passion he had for improving the lives of those around him. We started the JCK Foundation in his honor, where we help create positive mental health cultures on high school and college campuses. We hope Collected Layers is an extension of that. A forum to share stories, strategies and data about the mental health movement to ensure we can be our own advocates and advocates for those around us. Enjoy our 1st episode as Collected Layers featuring John Kelly's father exclusively on our website. We're now available on Apple Podcasts, Google Play and Spotify. JCKFoundation.org/collectedlayers Guest: Dr. KellyHost: John TessitoreEditor: Mike EspositoProducers: John Tessitore, Mike EspositoMusicians: TaiCheeba, Jaō, Joanna SchlatterPhotographer: Unknown