HKWL podcast

Just when WL was losing hope.... HK took it upon himself to really dig in and take his education into his own hands. We talk about what caused this change and how he feels about it now.

We have taken a LOT of time off, but we're back! Today it's just WL... talking about why we went on hiatus, some tough realizations that have landed in the last few months, and how I am trying to wrap my head around them.

We had a really hard week on multiple fronts. This is HARD folks... this week we each thought about 3 things we want the other person to know when we're in the thick of it, and we share them with each other for the first time in this episode and discuss.

Finally we give our "Siskel and Ebert" review of the movie "Instant Family".

We got more so we answered more! Another Listener questions episode.....

Well you KNOW we love getting questions from our listeners! Today we answer yours...

Last week WL blindsided HK with a topic and this week HK turns the tables! Interview style, HK gets to know more about WL and her mysterious past...

Ladies and Gentlemen.... After seeing MANY posts this week from parents struggling with their 12,13 and 14 year olds, WL has come up with a NOBEL PRIZE WORTHY theory on why this age is tough. Complete with mathmatical (momatical?) models and numbers. You're Welcome. (Trademark WL, 2019 all rights reserved.....)

Back to actual topics after a chaotic episode and a weekend off. (sorry!) Today we are getting REAL talking about what works for kids and teens when it comes to parenting talks/rants/lectures and what doesn't. We discuss some of our best and worst moments in an attempt to figure out the best way to overcome conflicts and tackle issues.

Hmmm.... so the kids really wanted to do an episode all together. But they weren't super set on a specific topic. This one is little loose and rambling but sometime you have to let the kiddos run with an idea, am I right? Anyway, consider this maybe kind of a palate cleanser... it might be more for their benefit than ours!

Sometimes in this process there's the spouse or partner that has the initial idea to look into foster/adoption and if that person is really lucky their partner/spouse is supportive and on board. What's it like to be that supportive partner? What are some of the concerns and thoughts that Dad has had on this journey? Also this week we talk about why we think you should not try to do this alone. Having an advocate and an agency in your corner can be vital!

Christmas can be tough for everyone as we try to get through the season with love ones who are absent from our lives, but there is the potential for the added elements of complication and trauma in the foster and adoptive world. We share YOUR stories, current issues and solutions as we discuss this topic with Grammy!

How do Grandparents factor in to all of this and how do they feel? Especially since we as foster/adoptive parents are asking them to take on something that was our choice and not theirs... Grammy is here this week and we couldn't pass up the opportunity to have her on the show to share her perspective. We also need your foster/adopt Christmas stories, good/bad/hard/beautiful... for our Christmas episode next week!

We are tackling an unfortunate and dark topic today... what do WE as the larger foster/adoption community do about toxic foster families. They ARE out there, and in a system that is underfunded and overworked, they are largely ignored. We talk about our own growing awareness of this issue, and are asking for solutions from YOU dear listener! How we manage to discuss deep things with so many goofy asides is beyond me but we certainly managed to to it this week. What are your thoughts?

We had a tough week this week. We discuss our take-aways and talk about something that's being discussed a lot right now: kiddos that think they would be better off somewhere else because their parents are >gasp< ACTIVELY PARENTING. This is a tough one.... how do we assure them they're in the right place, that it IS hard, that we love them unconditionally, and that the grass is NOT always greener in another family. I need a nap just thinking about it......

In this episode brainstormed by HK, we talk about "Dangerous Decisions" with finances, in school, and on-line. We also answer a listener question.

This week a listener question sparked this topic. We should EXPECT foster kids to come into our homes with gaps in their learning/habits/behavior, yet it can still be super-frustrating for parents and kiddos to fill in those gaps. We talk about gaps that we have tackled this first year and how important it is to stop and celebrate progress because it's always easy to focus on where we still need to go instead of looking back to see how far we've come!

Why do older kiddos in the system sometimes feel that they need to lie and leave a smokescreen of their activities even when things are all above board? Today we brainstorm this challenge and our thoughts about why this happens and what parents can do about it. Plus... listener questions!

Today we discuss a book that I read a long time ago that I had HK take a look at this week. The book is called "A framework for Understanding Poverty" by Ruby K. Payne, Ph.D. The book talks about the very different rules that belong to different classes and the blind-sides that might occur when people shift from one setting to another. The book has helped me as a teacher and has definitely given me insight into some unexpected things that have happened in our first year with HK.

In this special 3 part series that HK came up with, he talks about what it's like to be an young teen the system... ages 11-14 We talk about what has gone down for him in the last 3 years, how that has felt, and what foster and adoptive parents can do to help.

In this special 3 part series that HK came up with, he talks about what it's like to be an older child in the system... ages 5-10. We talk about what he remembers and what parents can do to help kids at this age

In this special 3 part series that HK came up with, he talks about what it's like to be a small child in the system... ages 3-6. We talk about what he remembers and what parents can do to help kids at this age

How do we help our foster/adopt kiddos create a cultural heritage when all they understand of their culture is "not white"? We are making it up as we go on this one for sure but we share our thoughts and strategies.

Fostering and Adopting older kiddos means that sometimes we have to parent "out of phase" which almost always creates mayhem and bad feelings. We brainstorm this and talk about strategies that can make it feel less awful for both kiddos and parents when we have to go back and fill in those parenting gaps.

What do adoptive families need from friends and families? This week we swap experiences with a key part of our families support system and talk all about ways to support families going through fostering and adoption.

Big Sis is on the podcast today along with her good friend who's family took placement of 2 little girls 2 weeks before we got placement of HK. They share the highs and lows of their journey in the first year with new siblings.

How do new experience impact and change our lives? This week we unpack HK's latest adventure... FIDDLE CAMP!

Special Guest: Little Bro. What's adoption and fostering like from the perspective of a kiddo already in the home? We ask LB....

What's it like trying to adjust to your "new normal" during those early days? HK and WL each share a high, a low, and a blind-side. Plus more listener questions!

What's it like when you're about to become the legal guardian of a total stranger? We talk about the parent side of things and tackle our first listener questions!

What's it like to be dropped off with strangers? HK tells you how it feels when you're in the car. And we discuss things that parents can do to make that first day easier.