Richard Herring: Ally and Herring's Twitch of Fun

Thursday 21st May 2026 - Foot in Mouth. Rich and Ally are back and looking at the STI figures in the EU and how best to sexily open a condom. Before falling out quite badly. Could this be the end of the partnership?

Wednesday 20th May 2026 - Spygate. Rich is back in more cheerful mood and there's finally been a major development in his puppetry skills. But how many cocaines has he taken? And is his real viewership waiting for him, ungestated, in the future? Today the boys discuss football like a pair of right lads, plus how to be like Rich.

Tuesday 19th May 2026 - Scott Baio's Tapestry. Rich and Ally are back with news of a very important study on the Bayeaux Tapestry, but then have to stop as Rich has to go to a parent teacher thing at his kids' school. Never happened to John Craven. That's why it's under 5 minutes today though.

Friday May 12th 2026 - The Gig Gokker. Rich and Ally are back for the last Newsround of the week and it's all about Riches and riches. Not a single song, so nothing to annoy anyone. I am sure everything is fine.

Wednesday 13th May 2026 - King's Peach. Rich and Ally have news about dogs being kicked in the head and PM's being kicked in the balls. With an exclusive interview with the next PM?? You don't get this on the lame-stream news.

Tuesday 12th May 2026 - Llama Farmer. Rich and Ally are back to get to the bottom of whether the Prime Minister will stay on and whether he is a damp rag or something else all together.

Monday 11th May 2026 - Pert Nipples. Rich and Ally are back after a weekend away and Rich is determined to keep the show to its 5 minute time slot. With all the news from the Met Gala. So should be a nice quiet one.

Friday May 8th 2026 - MV Hondius. Rich and Ally are back for the last time this week and they're looking at the brand new virus that will hopefully spread across the world and get us all into another relaxing lockdown. Plus a report from the deck of the doomed ship, but who will be the reporter today?

Thursday 7th May 2026 - Election Day. Rich and Ally cover all the comings and goings as some of the UK prepares to vote for Reform and not "Crack" Polanski.

Wednesday 6th May 2026 - Hypnotherapy Lies. Rich and Ally have breaking news about the most mendacious politician there has ever been and why we must never vote for anyone who tells lies. You will be shocked to the core by these accusations. Plus find out how to get bigger breasts. It's the show that gives you everything.

Tuesday 5th May 2026 - Mrs Doubtfire. There's news of an upcoming royal birth and suspicions of a clever ruse going on, but you can hear about it straight from the shamed-horse's mouth with a special interview with the grandfather to be.

Friday 1st May 2026 - Rings Of Uranus. Rich and Ally discuss some amazing space news in the first Newsround of the month, but the last one in the week.

Thursday 30th April 2026 - Truncated Due To Chicken Pox. The news is coming in thick and fast, Rich is back on the telly, the universe might end before that and Herring junior needs to be picked up from school. This never happened to John Craven.

Tuesday 28th April 2026 - What BP Do With Their Profits. Rich and Ally are back again with all the big news stories. Today, record profiteering from BP, from a war they didn't pay for and what that means for democracy to the chagrin of feudal kings. It's a very clever show, but we're not going to tell you why. If you're actually clever you'll understand it without having to have it explained to you.

Monday 27th April 2026 - Distraction. Rich doesn't let exhaustion stop him bringing you all the news that matters - no prizes for guessing today's top stories. Though it may not be what the lame stream media is concentrating on.

Friday 24th April 2026 - Nuke Em. Rich and Ally are back for the last Newsround of the week and Rich is a bit tired from performing every night. How did John Craven do it? Not that this is anything like anything he did. They talk about nuclear war and York City's promotion chances. Would a nuclear bomb or York failing to get promotion be worse? That's just one of the questions that is not addressed in this episode, which might include some songs.

Wednesday 22nd April 2026 - Ma-kak-que. It's been a difficult week with no sleep for Rich, but luckily he is a pro and none of that makes it to the screen and it's another serious news day covering Barbary Apes, Finnish sky penises and the interview that all the media wanted. Everything is OK. You have nothing to fear. Apart from Ally coming to your house in the night which is about 50% likely to happen. Sorry.

Tuesday 21st April 2026 - Bullseye! Rich and Ally are back after a brief hiatus with the biggest news story from Spain, involving serious injury to a Spanish man, so no laughs in this one. What do you mean, just like normal?

Friday 17th April 2026 - Keir. Back with all the genital based news from Apple News and definitely recorded today, Rich and Ally discuss the nick name the Iranians have for our PM for an unheralded 5th Newsround of the week!

Thursday 16th April - Beautiful Butterfly. Rich auditions for Saturday Night Live, but Ally is more interested in the revenge of Jesus in a very heavy Trump/Jesus week. Not too many songs if you don't like that bit. Why would you only not like that bit, you idiot?

Wednesday 15th April 2026 - Tomb of Christ. Rich and Ally are back with an exclusive news story for everyone but mechanics, and a live report from the discovery of the tomb of our Lord Jesus Christ. Is he in there or not? Our reporter will tell you, but which reporter will it be today?

Tuesday 14th April 2026 - Who Doctor? Sometimes on a fast moving show like Newsround we get it wrong. Today we make a sincere apology to anyone we have offended. It looks like tomorrow we might have to do more sincere apologies. But more up to the date news that you won't see in the lamestream media.

Monday 13th April 2026 - Lord of the Dance. Donald Trump has declared himself the new Jesus, which is totally normal. But is he the real one? And who will challenge him on this? And why weren't religious people annoyed about him before? You con't get this on the grown-up news

Friday 10th April 2026 - Melania. Rich and Ally discuss Melania's recent Epstein based statement and try to work out if it's possible to predict anything coming out of the White House. With a guest spot from someone who was also not a friend of Epstein and has no connection with him and doesn't know who he is. Weird we got him on really.

Thursday 9th April 2026 - Angels. Rich is back from the brink and ready to do a documentary on his breakdown. Today he and Ally discuss why people shouldn't be allowed to look old and also shouldn't be allowed to try not to look old. Minimal singing to appease the kind of people who think anything is worth saying on YouTube. And also to annoy the people who think anything is worth saying on YouTube if they like the singing.

Wednesday 8th April 2026 - Knicky-Knacky-Knocks. A clearly tired and emotional Richard Herring celebrates the end of the war and the great man who has brought about peace, whilst Ally tries to start an all-out superpower confrontation partly to put viewers of this show out of their misery. All this and an AI Jesus. What's not to love?

Tuesday April 7th 2026 - King of the Farts. Rich and Ally are back on Rich's 14th Wedding Anniversary to finally determine whether men or women have the worst smelling flatus. Yes, it's as bad as it sounds. If you need to get up to speed on Baggy Pants and the Nitwits head here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RmZj7m_u74g

Friday 3rd April 2026 - Randy. It's a party atmosphere as Easter approaches, but the team are all working, making sure the big stories and real music hall songs get to you before the lamestream media cab do anything about it. Today we look at Trump sacking his top officials and poignantly remember the death of our Christ and Messiah. Happy Easter to any Christians still here after this episode. Turn the other cheek.

Thursday 2nd April 2026 - C**t up the ***. After an hilarious April Fool's joke Rich and Ally are back to discover if the moon landing was real and how astronauts get the trajectory to get out into space. With the first extra terrestrial report. But who will be the reporter today? Can you guess?

Tuesday 31st March 2026 - Icarus. Rich and Ally are back temporarily as Rich waits for the call from the TV people. Today they look at the main celebrity news story, a not very famous man cutting himself with an apple peeler. Witness how the lame stream media makes more of this story, whilst only we tell you the truth.

Monday 30th March 2026 - Male G-Spot and Demons. In what promises to be the last Newsround ever, Rich and Ally take a deep dive into genital licking and what combination of tongue and genital are acceptable to discuss with children, plus we look at JD Vance's claims that aliens are demons and why he knows for sure that the devil doesn't exist. Thanks for your support. Don't bother coming back tomorrow. We won't be here.

Friday 27th March 2026 - Roboteacher. Rich and Ally are back for the last Newsround of the week and judging by this one it's probably good they're taking a bit of time to take stock and get their heads together and sort out Richard's health issues. Two news stories covered today which you won't see in the lamestream media - zip lining benefit cheats and Melania's army of info-robots. Watch Bake Off at 7.40pm on Channel 4 on Sunday just to see how good Rich can be on lamestream TV.

Thursday March 26th 2026 - Very Old Dog. Rich and Ally are back to tell you all the main news to ever come out of Cheddar in Somerset. So it's quite a short bulletin.

Tuesday 24th March 2026 - Deuteronomy 22:23-24. Rich and Ally are back in Da House and today they are reporting on the most controversial thing that has ever happened regarding the BBC show The Repair Shop in which they almost repaired an old joke book with some old jokes in it, that they didn't need to read out, but which still mustn't be on TV even in closed book form. Newsround is the most unsexist show on TV or the internet, as long as that is what people still are against, and so only we can report on this without prejudice. Take note Lamestream media and celestial bodies that are trying to blind and silence us.

23rd March 2026 - Finger Hair. Rich and Ally are back to discuss Donald Trump RTing a SNLUK sketch and get an exclusive interview with the real PM to find out if SNLUK is as funny as it used to be.

Thursday 19th March 2026 - Bigfeet. Rich and Ally are back to give you all the news the lame stream media doesn't want you to see. Today they're looking at whether the very convincing 1967 footage of a Big Foot walking through a forest is a real Big Foot or just a man dressed up as a Big Foot. With special report from a forest somewhere.

Wednesday 18th March 2026: Receding Bums. Rich and Ally are back to talk about how many times a day you should be brushing your teeth and what might happen to you if you fail to hit that number. It's more of an intervention than a news programme. Still ignored by the lamestream media.

17th March 2026 - Banksy Uncovered. Rich and Ally are here with all the big news stories and today reveal the true identity of controversial artist Banksy (can you guess what Cocky Carrot calls him?). Journalism at its finest.

Monday 16th March 2026 - Dead as a Dodo. Rich and Ally are back for another week in the Newsround studio, despite really having too much to do. They are discussing plans to resurrect the dodo. I don't have time to write the blurb as I have to take my daughter to the train station.

Friday 13th March 2026 - Faeces and Thyme (Time). Rich and Ally are back after a brief break to bring you all the Roman poop news that you could want. Plus to take the piss out of some foreign academics for their dubious career choices. It's what the public want. Also a new reporter joins the team. It's the yeast we can do for you.

Wednesday 11th March - Crossing the Rubicon. Rich and Ally are back for the shoddiest Newsround yet, as they look at the worst person in the world, a man who cloned his beloved pet. Was it a waste of money when animals reproduce for free? Should you put all your eggs in one basket? What about a ventriloquist dummy/human hybrid? It's all utter nonsense today. They can't all be gold.

Tuesday March 10th - Braintree FC Water Tank Tribute. It's a late night Newsround, cos Rich has been too busy all day to do it, but he didn't want you to miss the big news about Keith Flint's Satanic Churchyard Bench. Also some theological discussions about Satan and a nice song about starting fires.