Richard Herring: Ally and Herring's Twitch of Fun

Friday February 27th 2026 - Galton and Simpson. Rich and Ally are back for the last Newsround of February and it's a story the lame stream media won't touch, last night's by-election. Is this a vindication of Keir Starmer's right wing policies. With an exclusive interview with the current Prime Minister (at time of recording) plus in depth political analysis from Ally Sloper. This is the only independent news source you can choose. We are delighted that the Greens won.

February 26th 2026 - Quality Sperm. Rich and Ally are back talking about what month of the year sperm is at its friskiest. The lame stream media don't dare touch stuff like this. Unlike the scientists who put together these reports.

Wednesday 25th February 2026 - State of the Galactic Union. President Trump has done the longest State of the Union ever and Rich and Ally are here to fact check his claims. A special report suggests the whole world is in the best shape ever, which will be a great relief to us all, as long as we don't look out the window.

Tuesday 24th February 2026 - Worse Than Bin Laden. Having missed the scoop of the millennium, Newsround is back in a 30 degree studio to look at the story of the arrests of Mandleson and some other guy whose name keeps changing. With special correspondent reporting from Sandringham, waiting for a massage. Usual rubbish. Spread the word.

19th February 2026 - I'm Not Going To Take It Any More. Rich is away on holiday but Ally is here to reveal some harsh truths to his young audience. Not suitable for children, though all children should listen and rebel.

18th February 2026 - Did Craven Do It In His Pants? Rich and Ally are back with today's newsround all about dancing Chinese robots and if scientists are wasting their time. There's a special guest in to discuss this and also some upsetting stuff about Rich and Ally's past. Trigger warning for anyone who has been touched by a puppet.

Tuesday 17th February - Pikachu. Rich and Ally are back to give you all the main stories and whilst some news outlets might be giving solemn obituaries for the great Jesse Jackson, our team have uncovered news of a very expensive Pokemon card, which Rich feels might not be worth the price tag, which I think we can all agree is the story of the day. Has all his (and your) suffering for his art been worth it? Plus we go to the (poke)man himself to find out how he feels about the whole thing in yet another exclusive interview which blows the case wide open.

February 16th 2026 - Area 51. Rich and Ally are back with all the news that's fit to talk about in a puppet based Newsround. Today Barack Obama has revealed that he thinks there are aliens, but have they already visited earth? And what do they look like? Is it even possible for them to get this far? With a report LIVE from Area 51 in America somewhere.

12th February 2026 - Tomato Sauce Science. Rich and Ally are back with some of your comments about the new titles. Well suck it. They discuss new evidence that suggests the Turin Shroud may not be really the shroud of Christ, for all those of you who thought this was wrapped up (no pun intended) already. Do we need evidence to believe in Jesus and isn't it more important to follow his philosophy? Is St John a liar? Has Ally confused Jesus with Pinocchio? And is Jesus back now, saying wise things? Maybe on a short YouTube video, rather than a mount.

Wednesday 11th February 2026 - 20-Year-Old Ejaculate. Newsround is back after yesterday's hiatus when no news happened, but the grown-up news has missed today's big story, an interview with tech entrepreneur Bryan Johnson the man who intends to live forever by going to bed at 8.30pm every night. Just like John Craven in the original Newsround, Rich displays his jealousy of a younger man's ability to produce gametes, whilst Ally warns of the dangers of eternal life. Exactly like John Craven's Newsround. Which this is nothing like. Look out for the new titles too. Thanks Andy Bobbin.

Monday 9th February - Penisgate. Rich and Ally are back after their deserved weekend break with all the news that's fit to talk about. Today it's the big controversy at the Winter Olympics, wherever that is, and the lengths and widths that male ski jumpers are prepared to go to to win. But is the real story perverted cock-obsessed journalists, which Rich and Ally definitely aren't? With a live report from the slopes of the Olympics.

Friday 6th February 2026 - Chinese Hotel Sex Cameras. Newsround is back, despite Rich spending most of the day waiting for his car to be fixed. Ally and he discuss "Eric", the most hypocritical man in the news at the moment, who was shocked to see he'd been caught on a Chinese Sex Camera, but only because he loved watching videos of people caught on Chinese sex cameras. Who will be caught on the Newsround Sex Camera? Tune in to find out.

Thursday February 5th 2026 - Peanut Pile. After the success of getting Randrew Andrew kicked out of his house, the Newsround team turn their attention to the Prime Minister, whether he can survive and how good a job he is doing. Once again we beat the Lamestream media to a huge exclusive, which you can only get by watching our Craven Newsround.

RAACN Tuesday February 3rd 2026 - Eggheads Are People Too. After the explosive interview over the weekend, a regular newsround returns examining the recent statements by FIFA President Gianni Infantino and why he should be judged by his deeds and words and not by his appearance. We have a special interview with a fellow egg-headed celebrity to show just how far egghead prejudice can reach and hopefully help open people's eyes to this derided condition.

Newsround Special - Epstein File interview. Always ahead of the grown up news, Richard has procured an interview with the man at the heart of the Epstein Files story, Randy Andy Mountbatten-Windsor-Balmoral. Randrew Andrew explains what's going on in the pictures with the woman on the ground, why he never met Epstein, why he has too much honour, why he can't wear shoes and what he was actually doing on the date the new accuser says he was with her. It's an explosive interview that will surely be shown on all major news channels tonight, thus reigniting Richard's failed career. Hooray!

January 30th 2026 - Sneaky V sign. Rich and Ally are back to discuss how long they think President Trump will live, whether grey hair stops you getting cancer and a surprising way to increase your output at the gym.

29th January 2026 - BWB. Rich and Ally are back for an impressive 2nd day in a row to discuss the worst thing that has happened in America this year, someone putting a bra on the Hollywood sign. Is it appropriate for men to comment on women's bodies and if not is it appropriate for them to comment on people commenting on them?

In an attempt to bring the people the REAL news, not the lies of the Mainstream Media, faded 90s almost-celebrity Richard Herring teams up with an 134 year-old ventriloquist dummy, Ally Sloper, to report daily (yeah right) on the stories that really matter. With reportage and interjection from other characters from Twitch of Fun, a show sadly cancelled before it could reach its 100th episode. Wednesday January 29th - Turkeys Not Voting For Christmas. Rich and Ally take a look at the defection of Suella Braverman to Reform and look at some of the excellent policies that she is backing. With a special report from the conference by our top journalist. Titles by Andy Bobbin Music by Mike Cosgrave Directed by Chris Evans. Any similarity to John Craven's Newsround is entirely coincidental.

6,7. Twitch of Fun is BACK in this non-canonical episode to celebrate the end of another horrible year and to attempt to tempt some temporary temps to this zenith of Richard's work. There's an attempt to extract an apology from our most perverse character (that could be any of us), plus Henry Hippo's New Year's Resolution and Ally and Rich look back at the Coldplay couple and who we are to judge them, a Thai woman who rose from the dead, the evil plan of Labubus and Katy Perry in space. And if you time this right you get a countdown to the new year at the end. What more do you want?

It's Wednesday, it's 2.30pm and it AAHTOF (AAHTOF) with a soft relaunch of the show after a few months off to give everyone a chance to remember their same phrases. Rich and Ally take a look at some serious news involving the end of the world, golden phones, Musk losing billions, the massive ordnance penetrator, Richard's failing, flailing penis and Dr Who giving top actors deadly drugs. So business as usual, apart from no big wobbling boobies.

TOF #99f Gargara and Cuggy Groccoli - Rich is back with a brand new, seductive co-host and a lot of talk about licking things that you really don't want to be licking. Ally is back to talk about whether he will be the new James Bond, if a woman can be Jesus, whether Neighbours will ever end and the imminent collision between our galaxy and another galaxy. Plus could Birthday Donkey get replaced by the puppet that inspired his segment? Might be the last one for a bit as Rich is off on tour. Come and see him on tour: http://richardherring.com/ballback/tour Or sponsor him for not eating Soleros: http://justgiving.com/page/nolero Thanks as ever to Richard Ison for his amazing works.

Twitch of Fun is back but it's just a quick one this week, so not worthy of being Episode 100. But Rich and friends are going full out to be placed in the dustbin of Light Entertainment. Egg Wallace has a new ovoid pal and Marvin the Monkey tries out for main presenter. The team cover Israel/Palestine, Soleros, double bananas (Cocky Carrot fails to comment), whether AI could ever replace this show and some of the more racist songs from US film history. All that and Birthday Donkey, an attempt to find the right size for Richard's huge face and Sybil is back with more terrifying predictions. Sponsor Rich in his attempt to eat no Soleros here: http://justgiving.com/page/nolero

Episode 99d - Seig Heil. Another Friday afternoon catch up - not an official or canonical episode in which Rich attempts to remember what some of his characters do, as well as discussing the Musky arm movement, why Putin was in such a rush, if Obama has got himself a Rachel, how fast Craig David Iikes to move things along, whether Elizabeth I was a man, where to put your bins in a storm and whether Rich has any right to feel a bit bonnie blue about the stresses in his lucky bugger life. Plus the return of some old friends, a cold prediction for a beloved actor and Rich attempts to explain why men are so entranced by BWBs. Back soon with episode 100 for sure. Come and see Rich on tour, so he stops moaning about his life: https://richardherring.com/ballback

It's Friday, it's 3pm and the computer's back but the tech has screws up. But it's all sorted in 3 minutes flat for a non-canon and non-cannon episode of your favourite afternoon topical news show with a washed up TV celebrity and a 133 year-old ventriloquist dummy that also includes a hippopotamus that is obsessed with mammary glands. All right, second favourite. They discuss which dead AI celebrity they'd like to get their divorce papers from, why there's nothing impressive about a woman having sex with 1000+ men in 12 hours, the controversial choices for Match Of The Day presenters, how Kenneth Kendall would react if he saw what's on BBC News these days and a very clever joke about Dune. Plus Richard just looking at the old intro cartoons and laughing at them because he's forgotten all the stuff he used to do. It's not Episode 100, but that can't be far away.

Due to computer malfunctions this is the first Twitch Of Fun ever to be released without any kind of audience, leaving us in an uncanny valley which is both weird and revealing, freeing and constricting, hilarious and tragic. There's a new co-host, due to popular demand and Rich and one puppet or another cover Musk going mad, pornographic prison officers becoming pornographic prisoners, the 21 signs of sexual attraction, why the Duke of York is the only one who gets into trouble, Baldrick becoming Prime Minister and Elon buying Liverpool. Plus Egg Wallace, the Cock Ness Monster and a tribute to the Gard of Avon. This is NOT episode 100.

Twitch of Fun Christmas Eve Eve Special - Hawk Tuah. It's 23rd December 2024 and what better date for a Christmas Eve Eve Special of the show that no one has really been calling to come back? And it's an absolute spitshow full of technical difficulties, dropped props and a host with little to no memory of what the show involves. Ally and Herring cover the death of the star of Crocodile Dundee, the lady who had sex with 100 men in 16 hours, the lady who likes to spit on men's members and the man who likes to shoot people he doesn't like in the back. Which one do you think is seen as the hero? Plus a word from the Duke of York and Henry Hippo and two new characters, one of whom attempts to fit his entire head in an old character. You know you've missed it. But you won't feel that way once you've seen or listened to this one. It's not episode 100!

Twitch of Fun springs back to life for its 99th episode and it's a heartfelt tribute to the fallen of D Day, amongst other things. There's no pressure to be funny luckily and this is just a conversation between two old mates that encompasses Rupert Murdoch's ventriloquist dummy face, the escalation in the chocolate button war, the two words the Queen said to Fergiana, the destruction of the homes of two comedians and the deaths of a lookalike and a pop star. When will episode 100 hit? Who knows? Richard's tour might mean it's a little way away - Get your tickets here: http://richardherring.com/ballback/tour

An unexpected Wednesday Twitch of Fun from an overly tired Richard Herring, but those are usually the worst and thus the best ones. Ally and Herring discuss walking in Noel Edmonds' shoes, whether the Queen has a furry muff, why blood is like a butterfly, whether there's room for a Baby Reindeer character on the show, Terry's work with various David Copperfields, casting for the new Supergran and whether Jesus partly enjoyed himself of the cross. See Rich on tour - links here: http://richardherring.com/ballback/tour Bid on the eBay items here: https://www.ebay.co.uk/sch/i.html?_ssn=herring1967

Richard has had a gig cancelled due to flooding but Bedford's loss is your probably loss as well as you spend nearly an hour of your life in the company of him and a piece of Victorian papier mache. Ally and Herring discuss inserting batteries where the sun don't shine, the end of sex (not a problem for my viewers), a very old tortoise and Noel Edmonds' age. And the Victorian Ghost Child and Fluffy Rabbit turn up to wipe the floor with everyone. Plus exciting news of the guest for last RHLSTP of the tour that you could have got before nearly everyone else if you'd watched it live. Three to 100!

You thought we'd gone away, but we're getting to 100 if it kills us and then 1000 and won't stop until everyone on the planet earth is watching. Plus God. In this extended tribute to our King, like all other news outlets we speculate on the tiny amount we know about the issue for hours on end. What will be the best cancer for the King to have? Is it wrong to wish that cancer on him? And can we go through another funeral and coronation so soon? Plus some proper HIGNFY style jokes about the Tories, disbelief about old Keir Starmers, weather based innuendo, a lot about the frequency and strength of Richard's erections and birthday Donkey comes close to his dearest wish. Plus a haunting song from Ally of unusual beauty. Back at some point in the future.

Twitch of Fun is back for 2024 and Rich doesn't seem very happy about it. Has this really been going for four flicking years? God. The team chat about Rwanda, double fisting, dental improvement, various Royal lies and liars, a Chinese wang and Ronnie O'Sullivan stealing Ally's already stolen catchphrase. Plus a creepy visit from a largely silent Victorian Ghost Child in a mask and find out why Richard has no respect for anyone who likes him or his show.

There's a new host for the show and they're going to scare your pants off (as if you had any pants on to start with), but in a show beset by technical difficulties, interruptions and parental exhaustion things never quite get into (gottle of) gear. Though the ventriloquism is coming on. But who is the dummy? Rich and Ally talk about Princess Anne's health, what not to say to the bereaved, the second Big Bang, porridge brains, drunk kids, the male pill, moths in stuffing, vapes and Neanderthals. It all peters out a bit, but with some very good p sounds. See RHLSTP on tour: http://richardherring.com/rhlstp or Richard's new stand-up show: http://richardherring.com/ballback/tour

There's plenty of incident in this week's show including an extended set by Victorian Ghost Child, only ended by a flood and then Ally and Herring talk about stopping the boats, Russian votes, scanning teenage porn users, pissing in lay-bys, who the real queen is, humping on Good Morning Britain, the lies that pilots tell you, how to get a job and what makes you an adult. Richard's new stand-up tour might get a mention - see if he's coming near to you, and then complain if he's not here: http://richardherring.com/ballback/tour

Twitch of Fun is back and there are no children spoiling (improving) it. It's just Ally Darling and Richy Sweetie and the Birthday Donkey and the death throes of a wasp. The pair talk about celebrity deaths, Dutch Pancakes, lying liars, why men should wash their hands after going to the toilet, whether Elon Musk should rename Twitter again and Eric Idle's greatest song. There's a poignant fairytale and an Australian who doesn't understand the seasons. Back on rollicking form.

Twitch of Fun is back and there's a double pitch invasion this time, but soon Rich restores order to discuss a year of Richie Sunaq, if you can fire Richard Madeley for doing his job, the moon on holiday, how not to say you're sorry and a beautiful rendition of most of the film Encanto.

This doesn't happen on Channel 5 (I expect, don't watch it) but the first 10 mins of the show was not broadcast - but it's here for you now. And the show is then interrupted later for a family emergency. But for a brief few minutes everything worked, with chat about robotic hands, the king's love of kids' pants, the shaming of Captain Tom's daughter and marrying yourself. Plus the resignation of a much loved character.

It's back. Staggering it's way back into existence with a host who doesn't even remember that Henry the Hippo existed. For now it's just Ally and Herring (with some interventions from the younger Herring and a phallic carrot - should they be on the same show?) Herring is tired and Sloper is in surprisingly thoughtful mood, but eventually we got on to dipping fingers into ganache, so it's business as usual. Is JRM a puppet? What household object is Kylie phobic about? Is it OK to say you want to have sex with Suella Braverman (on any level)? And the big name comedian who is going to court. See RHLSTP on tour richardherring.com/rhlstp

With a once friendly partnership turning nasty, there may be big changes on Twitch of Fun, but the cast are contracted to appear one more time before the traditional summer break. Terry fondly remembers a fallen comrade, Henry the Hippo is given one last chance and Rich and Ally discuss the surprising illiteracy of the Princess of Wales, Rolf's last words, the truth about Proud Mary and the wit of Prince Charles. Plus the Duke of York so consumed with grief over the death of his friend that his eyes stop working. See you in the autumn (maybe).

A tired Richard Herring attempts to do a topical news story, but is not only sabotaged by puppets but also by doubts about the whole project and then technical gremlins until he just gives up. Maybe this will be his last ever performance and if so it is a testament to his life's work. Hopefully see you next week with better wifi.

A new character brings the possibility of refinement to the show. But don't worry, even if this is a simulation being run an infinite number of times, this show will never be refined. We chat about Coronation Oaths, Trios with no biscuits in, whether they have Cornettos in Venice, what wine gums are made of, Mike Tindall's favourite room in his massive mansion and what you need to do to become the most famous person in the world. It's not very much. I can only apologise for all of this.

Despite Terry's best efforts, it's a cavalcade of hecklers to start the show, but order is eventually restored and subjects include a possible new opera, Prince Charles' Coronation surprise, a terrible surprise in someone's ear, the awful journalism of the Daily Mirror, why remainers are to blame for the way things have turned out and the return of Victorian diseases. Accept your poverty and enjoy this despite the paucity of entertainment.

Richard continues to be edged out of his own show by his own sentient gametes and is also unable to keep up with the thought processes of a 131 year old inanimate bit of papier mache, that should, by all rights, have a shard of itself in the Coronation Crucifix. Ally is very angry about the Royal Family and if nothing else this episode is testament to how far the Daily Mirror has fallen as a journalistic institution. Also what's the point of gender reveal, is it time to recognise Prince Andrew as a good and decent man, what was Camilla's game plan? And do unborn babies like Marmite. All this and I forgot to mention the ultra runner who took a car for part of the race. Ah well.