Podcasts about Scotty

WE ARE BACK BABAY!!! On this week's episode, JP is no longer homeless, and Scotty has the worst 2 weeks of his entire life. The LA Angels hit 7 home runs and still doesn't win, and Cleveland, OH is hosting the National Massage Therapist Convention with Deshaun Watson right down the street! Is she still a 10 if she has no arms, are crotchless panties overrated or underrated? What are some rejected names for Viagra, and what are the best wrestler catchphrases of all time? Enjoy another episode, and keep on laughing, assholes!!!

It's Bananas live from Brooklyn, NY! Kurt and Scotty talk about a man falling into Mount Vesuvius while trying to take a selfie, why Cheetos are banned in Germany, a message in bottle seeking a boyfriend, the medical reason you might have to put sugar on your butthole and a shirtless drunk man arrested while shoveling pasta into his mouth!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Timmy is joined by Scotty, Rosco, Scoop, Paulie, and Floggy

Beam me up Scotty! We want off planet Earth!.. Speaking of space though, are we the only ones creeped out by outer space and the deep ocean? Alessandra and Vee explain their weird phobia with that and with holes. Vee needs ideas for celebrating her new house, Alessandra is upset at Trader Joes, and Vee shares the intense dream she had the other night that left her crying and scared. For Spill The Tea For Therapy - Vee was triggered for Alessandra! How do you get out of a horrible relationship when you have no one around to ask for help? Thank you to our sponsors!Better Help: Get 10% off the first month of online therapy at BetterHelp.com/VIBINTHRIVINProgressive: Visit progressive.com to get a quote todayAnd Kelloggs!

How should I treat the other people looking at houses?

One of our listeners Scotty from Lynn calls up to shout out the Lynn 15U Babe Ruth Baseball team, as they get ready to travel to Virgina for the World Championships!

Naughstie, Scotty and Ryan dive into the weeds of our gut-wrenching loss to Collingwood, as we bemoan our inability to punish them, the JVR calls are growing, while we criticise the behaviour of the Pies' fans.

Inside the mind of Scotty, AUG 7, 2022.

Avast, ye landlubbing listeners!It be I, Cap'n Marion, sendin' ye a piratey postcard direct from the deck of the Burn Voyage! Are ye havin' a swashbucklin' summer? I surely be! For I be spendin' me summer tellin' me friends—and even me enemies!—"I love you!" And how does a scurvy sailor such as myself say "I love you"? Why, with compliments, o' course! Just this mornin' I told one o' the Fire Pirates that his hook glittered like a dolphin in the sun. And I told me adoptive mother that her laugh makes me happier than a treasure chest full o' gold!How do ye say "I love you"? Let me know! Put yer message in a bottle and send it to kind@imagineneighborhood.org, and I'll make sure that Scotty rewards each and every one of ye beautiful buccaneers with a sticker!Well mateys, keep yer sails to the wind and yer booty off the barnacles, and I'll see you soon back at The Imagine Neighborhood!PS: If ye be sailin' near Madison, Wisconsin on August 18th, drop anchor at the Alicia Ashman Library where they be hostin' a kids' podcast listenin' pARRRty all about The Imagine Neighborhood!PPS: AYE love you!!

Join Scotty, Holly, Kerri and Lynn Mellantine (Scotty's sister and Ten Junk Miles Racing Announcer) for ten junk miles in which they discuss: Lynn's life and starting running at 50, being Scotty's sister, Holly and kerri's run at Silver Rush, DNS'ing, Olivia Newton John, a Dells Trip, RD reputations, Astrid the dog, and much much more!! This episode brought to you by UCAN!!!  Use the code TENJUNKMILES for 20% off now!!!! Also brought to you by UCAN.  Fuel smarter.  Use the code TENJUNKMILES 20% off: https://ucan.co Website: http://www.tenjunkmiles.com/ Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/tenjunkmiles Twitter: https://twitter.com/tenjunkmiles Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/tenjunkmiles/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TenJunkMiles/

This week Tim(@_scotty.o) pulls up to discuss Beyoncé's new album “Renaissance”, Monkeypoxs outbreak, leader of friend groups, happiness in relationships, passing of the late great Bill Russell, and a whole lot more. Enjoy!

Inside the mind of Scotty

Society is collapsing: we're dancing with the risk of nuclear annihilation, the world is burning, housing is increasingly out of reach, and there's going to be a Halloween candy shortage! Scotty and Paul test their smarts with a geography quiz and roast an old video by TJ.

Land-Grant Holy Land's newest podcast, ‘Bucketheads' takes you on a journey across the college basketball landscape every episode. The only basketball-focused podcast in the LGHL family of podcasts, co-hosts Connor Lemons and Justin Golba give the latest scoop on the Ohio State Buckeyes as well as all the other happenings in the college hoops world. We are back and we have a BOOM! for Ohio State hoops. The second-ranked player in the state and main priority for Chris Holtmann and his staff, Devin Royal from Pickerington Central, has made his verbal commitment to the Buckeyes. We discussed this, Scotty Middleton's commitment on Saturday and Dailyn Swain's plan to drop his top-five on Friday — conveniently right before Middleton's decision. Also, we were joined by Davis Moseley of Rivals to talk about Royal, Middleton and more. We talked about Ohio State recruiting, Big Ten recruits and some national prospects folks should keep an eye on during the 2022-2023 season. Connect with the Podcast: Twitter: @BucketheadsLGHL Connect with Connor: Twitter: @lemons_connor Connect with Justin: Twitter: @justin_golba Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Land-Grant Holy Land's newest podcast, ‘Bucketheads' takes you on a journey across the college basketball landscape every episode. The only basketball-focused podcast in the LGHL family of podcasts, co-hosts Connor Lemons and Justin Golba give the latest scoop on the Ohio State Buckeyes as well as all the other happenings in the college hoops world. We are back and we have a BOOM! for Ohio State hoops. The second-ranked player in the state and main priority for Chris Holtmann and his staff, Devin Royal from Pickerington Central, has made his verbal commitment to the Buckeyes. We discussed this, Scotty Middleton's commitment on Saturday and Dailyn Swain's plan to drop his top-five on Friday — conveniently right before Middleton's decision. Also, we were joined by Davis Moseley of Rivals to talk about Royal, Middleton and more. We talked about Ohio State recruiting, Big Ten recruits and some national prospects folks should keep an eye on during the 2022-2023 season. Connect with the Podcast: Twitter: @BucketheadsLGHL Connect with Connor: Twitter: @lemons_connor Connect with Justin: Twitter: @justin_golba Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Going from never meditating to becoming a “good” mediator is a bit like going from never lifting weights to becoming a bodybuilder. It takes time and consistency (and lots of reps!) to build the habit. In this Emotional Push-Up with Coa's Lead Product Engineer, https://www.linkedin.com/in/scotteckenthal/ (Scotty Eckenthal), Dr. Emily explores the process of creating a safe and calm space within oneself through meditation. Tune in and let's meditate together! Listen to the song https://music.apple.com/us/album/generations/1597792311?i=1597792312 (Generations) by https://deargravity.net/ (Dear Gravity).  Thank you for listening! Staying emotionally fit takes work and repetition. That's why the Emotionally Fit podcast with psychologist Dr. Emily Anhalt delivers short, actionable Emotional Push-Ups every Monday and Thursday to help you build a better practice of mental health. Join us to kickstart your emotional fitness. Let's flex those feels and do some reps together! Follow Dr. Emily on https://twitter.com/dremilyanhalt (Twitter), and don't forget to follow, rate, review and share the show wherever you listen to podcasts! #EmotionallyFit  The Emotionally Fit podcast is produced by https://www.joincoa.com/ (Coa), your gym for mental health. Katie Sunku Wood is the show's producer from https://www.studiopodsf.com/ (StudioPod Media) with additional editing and sound design by https://nodalab.com/ (Nodalab), and featuring music by https://open.spotify.com/artist/4opkPECBBcY1LIDa3quwpy?si=l53ce-ONSG2l0yvfJaOVBA (Milano). Special thanks to the entire Coa crew!

Scotty is back with another episode of Slasher Scotty and his guest is none other than Marian Sing, who played Andrea Wagner in the Halloween (2018) film. Marian discusses with Scotty the troubles and intricate details of filming her death scene which led to her getting a huge knot on her forehead and her hair falling out, how her death scene was an Easter egg of Alice's death in Halloween 2 (1981), how she slowly found out she was in a Halloween film, and much, much more. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/slasherscotty/support

A quirk of fate brings both Lem and Fanshaw face to face with people from their pasts.  disagreeable reunions bring up disagreeable memories, and show a taste of what makes a man into a gunslinger. Written and Produced by Julie Hoverson Cast List Lemuel Roberts /Deadeye Kid -  J. Spyder Isaacson Clarence Fanshaw -  J. Hoverson ~~~~~~ Grisham - Bill Hollweg  (BrokenSea Audio) Lisette Carmichael - Robyn Keyes Commander Bannington -  Glen Hallstrom Scotty - Mike Campbell Other Voices: Episode 1 Bartender - Rick Lewis Episode 2 Townsfolks - Mark Olson, Candace Behuniak, Big Anklevitch & Rish Outfield (Dunesteef audio magazine) Episode 3 Juliet - Alexa Chipman (Imagination Lane) Glen Hallstrom Episode 4 Bandits - Big Anklevitch & Rish Outfield (Dunesteef audio magazine) Piedmont - Russell Gold Mr. Roberts - Jack Kincaid (Edict Zero) Episode 5 Nanny - Jennifer Dixon Bandits - Big Anklevitch & Rish Outfield (Dunesteef audio magazine) Episode 6 Bandits - Big Anklevitch & Rish Outfield (Dunesteef audio magazine) Mark & Connor Olson Russell Gold Cover Design:  Brett Coulstock Announcer:  Glen "Ole Hoss" Hallstrom Opening theme:  "The Wreck of Old '97" from public domain recording found on archive.org Any incidental music:  Kevin MacLeod (Incompetech.com) Editing and Sound:   Julie Hoverson   No gunshots herald his approach.  No trademark left behind him when he leaves.  The Kid had his fill of notoriety in days gone by - as plenty of empty boots can surely testify.   Some say he rides alone.  That's the Deadeye Kid. ******************************************************************   Auld Lang Syne [DeK4] EPISODE 1 MUSIC 1_ARRIVAL SOUND HORSES, RIVER, BOAT TRAFFIC LEM Largest town I been near in a good passel of time.  I hear tell it started out as a frontier fort, but the frontier moseyed west and left it a-setting behind. FANSHAW Will it be safe? LEM Safe? FANSHAW I had rather assumed you were avoiding larger towns.  For ... notoriety's sake. LEM Meaning I don't want be invited to a necktie party?  'at's part of it, though I'm purty sure I ain't never been posted in this territory.  FANSHAW Is it worth the risk? LEM [shrug noise]  Time to time a man wants a bath and a night in a bed. FANSHAW There are some distinct benefits to being deceased. LEM [laughs]    I don't gotta listen to you bellyaching about aches and pains and sleeping on the ground no more.  Never mind being all prissy and citified about finding you a comf'table bush now and then-- FANSHAW [rolling eyes]  Yes, yes. LEM Sides, I'm outta coffee.  And low on shells.  FANSHAW [teasing] Heavens.  How DO you manage? 2_STROLLING AMB IN TOWN SOUND WALKING ON WOOD LEM Lotta trade hereabouts.  Reckon I'll be able to get what all I need. FANSHAW Lem!  LEM [voice low]    We'll go on over yonder.  [beat] Must still be a fort within spitting distance.  FANSHAW I did notice that the old fortification appears to have become the mansion for an authority of some kind.  LEM Probly best to get my business done and skeddaddle. SOUND SALOON DOOR OPENS, JUST OFF, PEOPLE COME OUT FANSHAW I say.  Isn't it a bit early for a drink? LEM [shrug] Three weeks.  Don't seem early to me. FANSHAW I'll-- LISETTE [off a bit] Clary? FANSHAW [stunned and horrified] Oh god. LISETTE [off a bit] Clary?  I'd know that voice anywhere! LEM Friend o'yourn? FANSHAW [stiff, covering]  Old acquaintance.  Go on ahead! LEM 3_SALOON SOUND HE WALKS INTO SALOON AMB SALOON LEM One here. SOUND DRINK POURED BARTENDER There you go. SOUND COINS SOUND LEM DRINKS GRISHAM [angry growl] Lemuel Roberts. LEM [SPIT-TAKE] SOUND GLASS SLAMMED DOWN BARTENDER Something wrong, fella? LEM [coughing, trying to clear his throat]    Hit like a snakebite. GRISHAM You look at me, you pissant slab of gun leather. BARTENDER [sympathetic] Tarnation.  You need it yonked?  Barber can‑‑ LEM [finally getting clear] No, no.  I kin handle it.  SOUND COINS, GLASS DOWN LEM   And sorry about the-- BARTENDER [dismissive] Ain't no nevermind. SOUND MORE COINS LEM Give me the bottle. GRISHAM Now I found you, you could float a heap o rotgut and won't never drown me! BARTENDER You drink more careful now, you hear? LEM 4_LISETTE AMB OUTSIDE LISETTE [close, laughing] Oh, good lord, look at you!  Mustache and all.  Aren't you a little brigadier? FANSHAW [acknowledging] Carmichael. LISETTE Oh, how formal.  Just like at school.  What have you been up to Clary, dear? FANSHAW "Fanshaw," if you please. LISETTE And we used to be such chums.  However did you end up here? FANSHAW I'm quite sorry to see that you are dead, Carmichael. LISETTE [laughing] Oh, I rather doubt that!  You're only very sad to see that I'm here, aren't you? FANSHAW Would you prefer that I said I am pleased to find that you died, since that would be the only circumstance that could ever have stopped you from tormenting every living soul around you? LISETTE [not amused any more]  At least that would be closer to the truth. FANSHAW Jolly good.  Happy you're dead.  Must get along. LISETTE Don't run off so quickly, Clary!  FANSHAW [long breath of self-control]  LISETTE There's been no one interesting to talk to or listen in on for simply ages.  FANSHAW How unfortunate.  Must rush. LISETTE I noticed you speaking to that fellow. FANSHAW [quiet] Bloody hell.  [up]  I speak to a lot of people. LISETTE I'm sure.  But he replied.  Might I speak with him as well? FANSHAW I-- LISETTE Oh, just watch your face!  You're trying desperately to come up with a lie!  You never could hide anything from me, mustache or no mustache, silly Clary-- FANSHAW Stop calling me that. LISETTE Oh, how I've missed these little moments with my dearest friends - ever since I made the leap.  I shall have to spend a great deal of time with you - and with your rugged looking friend.  FANSHAW [gritted teeth] Jolly good. 5_SALOON2 AMB SALOON SOUND LEM DRINKS, SLAMS DOWN GLASS GRISHAM I know you kin hear me, you toad-bellied worm. SOUND CHAIR SHIFTS, KICKED OUT FROM TABLE LEM [low] Sit. GRISHAM What makes you think I'd sit with you?  You done went and killed me! LEM That's one reason I'm plumb surprised to see you.  You went down all the way to Fayetteville - damn far north o' here. GRISHAM I ... drifted. LEM That's just what's got me hornswoggled.  Ain't no one drifts. GRISHAM Well I did, and I's planning to get you back for what you done, one way or t'other. LEM [sigh] SOUND DRINK POURS 6_PIGS SOUND PIGS LEM Why'd you drag me out to the slaughterhouse? FANSHAW That woman - ghost woman. LEM An old flame? FANSHAW Nonsense!  We knew each other as ... children.  She is-- [changing the subject] She is unlikely to follow us here.  LEM Spect not.  Womenfolks ain't fond of this sort of messy business. FANSHAW [disgusted] Yes... LEM So?  You'd best'a brought me here fer a reason. FANSHAW Lisette Carmichael.  She [hard to say] is a person who likes to know things.  About other people.  She likes to -- LEM Hold a grudge?  Like a noose over yer head? FANSHAW Aptly put.    LEM You cain't have much in the way of dark secrets, though, can you?  Leastways not no more. FANSHAW You might be surprised. LEM Who's she a-gonna tell?  [realizes] Oh.  FANSHAW And while I'm fairly certain you think you could overlook any past indiscretion on my  part, I don't doubt there are a few things that might shock even you.  Lord knows, she's not even above the occasional fabrication. LEM [after a moment]  Did it involve a sheep? FANSHAW What? LEM Whatever it was you done. FANSHAW   It isn't - it's not like that at all. LEM [shrug] Sounds like we should jest ride on out. FANSHAW What? LEM Got my coffee, ain't no reason to lollygag. FANSHAW You would leave?  Over this? LEM I figger you saved m'life more'n once, and ain't much I can do in return.  SOUND WALKING IN MUD LEM Let's get gone before you start a-thanking me. 7_BARN AMB BARN SOUND TACK, HORSES, ETC. LEM You distract her, I'll get the gear.  Come and find me when you feel the pull. FANSHAW Righty-ho.  SOUND LEAVES GRISHAM Running away, eh?  Allus knew you'ure yella. LEM [sigh]  You're lucky ain't no one about but us.  Otherwise, I wouldn't dignify none of that with an answer. GRISHAM You kilt me! LEM We had it out, fair and square.  I never shot no one in-- [breaks off, a bit choked up]  I never din't kill any one not a-gunning fer me.  Not on purpose. SOUND LAST BIT OF TACKING UP GRISHAM Are you saying I was asking fer it? LEM I seem to recall you a-calling me out in the middle of a fairish game of cards.  Yellin blue bloody murder that I should step out and face you. GRISHAM Well, yeah, but I was drunk. LEM I din't do THAT to you neither.  You called me out, without no good reason agin me. GRISHAM [losing some of his bluster] I fancied making a name for myself. SOUND LEM GETS INTO THE SADDLE LEM By shooting the Kid?  You ain't the first. GRISHAM But you still kilt me. LEM And I won't never forget none of it, but you got what you asked for, and not a jot more.  Blame providence if you cain't blame yerself, but don't put this guilt on me.  Hee-yaw! SOUND RIDES OFF 8_DISTRACTION FANSHAW Lisette? LISETTE There you are!  Just like a naughty boy, running off to filthy places to get away. FANSHAW So sorry.  Didn't have much choice.  My friend is quite fascinated by... hogs. LISETTE Did you make a clean breast of it?  Or just warn him not to believe a thing I say?  FANSHAW You don't understand what you're threatening to do - you never did.  LISETTE So bothered over trifles!  How much people change! FANSHAW Ruining someone's life never meant anything to you!  Do you recall poor Selfridge? LISETTE Carmela?  Served her right.  FANSHAW She threw herself off a bridge! LISETTE She also let herself be compromised!  I didn't put her in the family way, and she was the one lying and hiding-- FANSHAW Are you trying to imply that you are somehow in the right?  A champion of truth? LISETTE Shall I point out what it is you are doing that flies in the face of nature? FANSHAW History is replete with-- LISETTE Oh, spare me.  Next you'll be quoting Shakespeare. FANSHAW Very well.  I shan't try and justify myself, but I will point out that whatever I am doing, it cannot be changed.  Being dead, there's not much one can do about such trifles. LISETTE Then why should it be such a catastrophe were I to tell? FANSHAW [beat] You've never had a real friend, only people who fawned on you in order that you would not reveal their shortcomings.  LISETTE [outraged] I--?  You--! FANSHAW Kindly allow me to finish.  There is a certain camaraderie among men that simply does not - cannot - occur once a woman is involved.  Once you put your nose in, I fear it would never be quite the same. LISETTE No doubt.  I'll just go and find your friend now, shall I? FANSHAW [strange gasp, ending on a laugh]  No, but I think I shall. SOUND FANSHAW LEAVING NOISE CLOSING         Auld Lang Syne [DeK4] EPISODE 2 1_MOSEYING AMB OPEN COUNTRYSIDE, nighttime SOUND HORSES WALKING LEM I still cain't reckon how he got so far from where he-- I-- where we had it out. FANSHAW How odd.  Have you ever encountered other ghosts who could travel? LEM Present comp'ny only. FANSHAW And we know the how and why of that.  Perhaps this fellow has a similar... arrangement? LEM How?  And who with?  Ain't no one would carry that ugly cuss a dog's walk, let alone some hundred miles. FANSHAW Well, every one of we "spirits" seems to be a bit different. LEM Like your lady friend back there? FANSHAW [sigh] From her current appearance and [disapproving] "costume", she had fallen on ‑ahem- hard times indeed.  Possibly drifted west - whilst alive - in hopes of making something better for herself.  LEM Lot of people can say that, out this way. FANSHAW [a bit snotty] Frankly I'm not surprised at her misfortune.  When you alienate all those around you, no one will step in to help if things take a turn for the worse. LEM Cain't say I ain't never been that fella. FANSHAW [chagrined] Oh.  MUSIC FOR FLASHBACK NOTE Lem is younger, more cocky, more superior in the falshback - need to really show who he used to be 2_THE OLD KID AMB SALOON LEM Gimme two. SOUND CARDS LEM [pleased noise]  I'll see you and raise-- SOUND CROWD HUSHES GRISHAM [snarling declaration] I hear tell the Deadeye Kid's here in town? LEM [ignoring him, smug] Raise ten. DEALER [shaky] Uh, Kid? GRISHAM Which one o' y'all's sposed to be this weasel? LEM Your call. PLAYER1 [shaky] Um...  I fold. LEM [chuckles] PATRON1 How can he--? Patron2 Shh! SOUND HEAVY SPURRED BOOTS CROSS FLOOR, PEOPLE SCUTTLE OUT OF WAY GRISHAM [heavy menace]  You the deadeye kid? LEM [offhanded] I'm the man playing a nice civil hand of cards.  Mebbe you can hold your hosses there, whistle stomper. GRISHAM Either you come out and face me now, or I swear'n I'm gonna shoot you where you sit. SOUND CHAIRS SCOOTING OUT, PEOPLE LEAVING TABLE LEM [long dramatic sigh]  Now that sounds a mite like a threat. PLAYER1 [muttered] Uh, yeah.  I'm done.  Fergot my wife wants me home. GRISHAM Are you coming, or am I shooting? LEM If everyone's takin' leg, I guess I win by forfeit? DEALER Um, I don't think anyone's gonna argue you on that. GRISHAM You turn around now and face me, you yellow bellied dog! SOUND MONEY BEING SHOVED TOGETHER LEM Give the frog a chance to jump, knuckles.  Cain't just leave all this layin around. SOUND G's GUN DRAWN AND COCKED GRISHAM Now! LEM [to dealer, cocky] You'll look after this til I get back? DEALER .. certainly. GRISHAM I'll do it!  I will! SOUND CHAIR SLOWLY MOVES, LEM'S SPUR-STEPS, STANDS LEM Rightchere in front of all these good folks?  And leave the dealer to clean up the mess?  [tsks]  Let's at least be civilized and take this on outside. 3_EASIER MUSIC BACK TO NOW SOUND HORSES WALKING FANSHAW Seems as if it would be a great deal easier. LEM Whazzat? FANSHAW Shooting someone in the back. LEM And killin a chicken's easier than takin down a buffalo, but ain't a thing to swell over.  Ain't no pride in the easy way.  FANSHAW Backshooting would gain you notoriety just as quickly. LEM It's all about how folks look at you... and how they see you. MUSIC BACK TO FLASHBACK 4_WARMUP GRISHAM Are you stepping? LEM What flavor of tarantula juice got you fit to wake snakes?  Milk?  [insulting that he can't hold his liquor] GRISHAM [furious noise]  I got a pill to run you on, and I'm gonna chew back every moment of it. LEM [to the crowd] Righchere's a rumbustious fellow for you.  SOUND DRINKS DOWN HIS LIQUOR, SLAMS IT DOWN LEM Barkeep?  Have me a shot of top mark waitin. SOUND WALKS OUT, SLOWLY GRISHAM You look at me while I'm a talking to you! LEM [walking out] You say somethin' more wheat than chaff, mebbe I will. 5_RATTLING FANSHAW Were you trying to upset his equilibrium? LEM What's that when it's at home? FANSHAW uh - Throw him off - make him upset and more likely to make mistakes. LEM   Yup.  There's as much head as hand in a proper showdown.  Not that this was one o' them. FANSHAW Why not?  He called you out. LEM He was halfway round on rotgut.  Not a nugget's chance agin me.  Even if he had all his [careful] equilibriums about him. FANSHAW But you stepped out with him?  Even knowing he had no chance? LEM A'course.  He wouldn't take no.  Drunk fellers who ain't gettin their way are as likely to shoot just about anyone.  I reckoned I was a-helpin, putting him down. FANSHAW [a bit touchy] And you couldn't simply injure him or knock him out - he had to die? LEM Ain't no place for fine feelins when there's a man with a gun a-facin you.  And ain't no time to aim all purty and shoot him just so.  You hit hard and put him down, cause if you don't, he'll do it to you.  That's the part you cain't get away from - one or t'other's likely for boot hill, and you GOTTA face it that way. 6_SHOWDOWN MUSIC BACK TO FLASHBACK SOUND OUTSIDE NOW GRISHAM You ready? LEM Why trouble yerself to call me out anyhow?  I kill someone yer riled over? GRISHAM [duh] Yer the Deadeye Kid! LEM [duh] Yep.  [beat] That's your sole entire reason?  You wanna walk in my boots? GRISHAM No faster way to make a name, than laying out a name. SOUND THEY MOVE TO EITHER SIDE OF THE SOUNDSCAPE SOUND GUN BEING CHECKED, LEM LEM And o'course it gots to be a callout.  [digsut, sarcasm] No one wants to be the next Robert Ford.  [man who backshot his friend Jesse James] GRISHAM Come on!  Kick it up, Deadeye!  Less'n yer yellow! SOUND LEM - DIRT PATTERS - checking the wind] LEM [maddenginly cool] Oh.  I'm ripe and ready to drop. SOUND TENSION NOISE, CROWD NOISE, THEN SUDDEN FLURRY OF GUNFIGHT. SOUND G - BODY DROP SOUND LEM - GUN INTO HOLSTER.  A MOMENT.  FEET WALK BACK UP INTO SALOON 7_ENJOY MUSIC BACK TO NOW FANSHAW [relenting a bit] I suppose it's very like being in battle - not a good place to have consideration for the other fellow. LEM Have to ice over that pond.  Hard and cold.  Hard and cold. FANSHAW I- I do apologize for sounding disapproving.  I want to assure you, it's the process that... well... seems so very pointless. LEM [a litle lighter] Men'll be men. FANSHAW But men can behave in a civilized manner!  Look at we Brits. LEM [grunt - half laugh half dismissive] FANSHAW Do you enjoy it? LEM [very mixed feelings] Enjoy? FANSHAW Throughout history there have been men who reveled in killing, in battle. LEM   [musing] There's a fire that burns you at that moment, like bugs in the skin. LEM S'like the best whiskey and the moment you almost fall off a cliff, and being with the love of your life, all at the same damn time.  FANSHAW The thrill of danger? LEM That, but even more so.  If'n you just want danger, you go climbin cliffs or breakin broncs.  This is starin into the eyes of death - death right there and then and ain't no "maybe so" about it.  Kill or be killed.  [beat, then not quite truthful]  Enjoy?    FANSHAW Sometimes a person's strength is in making the right choice, even when it might pain them to do so. LEM I reckon. 8_WINNER MUSIC FLASH BACK AMB INSIDE SALOON, HUSHED SOUND GUNSHOT, OUTSIDE WOMAN [gasps] SOUND [CROWD NOISE, OUTSIDE], THEN OMINOUS BOOTS ON WOOD, SALOON DOOR OPENS SOUND PIANO PLAYS, CHATTER BEGINS AGAIN LEM [voiceover]  there's also this way people have of lookin at you - like yer the best.  Used be I din't see the fear beneath it. SOUND BOTTLE POURS, GLASS SET DOWN BARTENDER Your shot, Mister. LEM [drinks big, then bragging] My second shot in two minutes! SOUND Forced laughter from the crowd, warps out a bit. 9_HUNKER MUSIC BACK TO NOW LEM [brisk] It's coming down dusk.  Need to find a place to hunker fer the night. FANSHAW I shall keep an eye out for-- [dread] oh! LEM Whazzat? FANSHAW Look - the horizon! LEM Signal fires, and a lot of em.  FANSHAW They're a little far off to get a better look at.  We shall... have to return, shan't we? LEM Someone's gotta warn the town.  Whether it's injuns or sumpin else, looks like an ambush on the march. FANSHAW [weakly] Surely the garrison maintains lookouts? LEM Not so much that I saw.  They're purt near closed up shop, from the looks back there.  FANSHAW [heavy sigh]  Right, then.  SOUND DISMOUNT, SHIFTING A FEW THINGS FROM HORSE TO HORSE LEM You worried about your lady friend? FANSHAW She's neither a lady nor a friend.  But whatever she might have to say will matter to none but me.  [change of tone]  We are a couple of hours out. LEM Horses ain't fresh, but I weren't pushin.  We can get back before them out there can get into spittin distance. SOUND MOUNT OTHER HORSE FANSHAW [resigned but determined] Shall we? MUSIC     Auld Lang Syne [DeK4] EPISODE 3 1_WONT SPOOK SOUND READYING FOR BATTLE LEM If'n you got a fresh horse, I kin go scout some fer you. COMMANDER You've done enough already, stranger.  Ain't even your fight. LEM I know where they're at, and I got some idea of where they're likely to be by the time I get back there.  Give me one horse ain't like to spook, and I'll-- COMMANDER I'll have to send a man along with you. LEM That's fine.  Make sure he ain't like to spook neither. 2_LISETTE SOUND [above scene plays out in the background] LISETTE And here I thought you had run away and left me all alone.  FANSHAW [sigh] Why don't we step outside to have this conversation? LISETTE   I like seeing what the "menfolk" are up to.  [frustrated noise] What I wouldn't give to be able to leave this rattletrap town.  I'm still not sure how you did that.  Or why you came back. FANSHAW We had to warn the garrison. LISETTE Always full of suprises, aren't you - and yet still sanctimonious.  Fanshaw, dear old chum.  Are you not afraid of what I might say? FANSHAW Any concern you might cause me is negligible when weighed against the potential danger to others. LISETTE [surprised laugh]  Hah!  All you superior little snobs, with your noses in the air!  And deep down, all just as afraid as the rest of us. FANSHAW I've no idea what you're talking about, and I don't care to find out.  Whatever you plan to do, just get on with it.  We have a job to do. LISETTE Wait! FANSHAW [long sigh]  Yes? LISETTE Shall I wish you "good luck"? FANSHAW I doubt I shall need any.  But I thank you for the sentiment, Miss Carmichael, however grudgingly bestowed. 3_JULIET FLASHBACK JULIET Romeo, doff thy name, And for that name which is no part of thee Take all myself. FANSHAW I take thee at thy word: Call me but love, and I'll be new baptized; Henceforth I never will be Romeo. JULIET What man art thou that thus bescreen'd in night So stumblest on my counsel? ROMEO By a name I know not how to tell thee who I am: My name, dear saint, is hateful to myself-- SOUND POUNDING LISETTE Oh heavens!  Not again! MAN [calling from off] Sorry. SOUND POUNDING STOPS LISETTE Try that scene again from the top.  Romeo? FANSHAW [sigh] Yes? LISETTE Couldn't you try to be a bit more ... masculine? JULIET Oh, I like "him".  So terribly byronic. FANSHAW I'll see what I can do. 4_SCOTTY SOUND PACKING A HORSE SCOTTY Sir? LEM Yeah? SCOTTY Private Scott.  Commander Bennington told me to report to you. LEM [sigh] Right.  You ever shot that for real? SCOTTY O'course. LEM Against a person? SCOTTY Well, against animals. LEM GRISHAM Not everyone can be you. LEM [sighs] SCOTTY Don't you worry!  I ain't afraid! GRISHAM This pullet ain't even got pinfeathers yet.  You get him killed, you gonna adda a notch fer him too? LEM You got a horse, Scott? SCOTTY Everyone calls me Scotty. GRISHAM Later, they'll just call him dead. LEM   Right.  You gotta horse? SCOTTY Over there. GRISHAM [rueful] My damn horse.  Serving in the army like the rest of the idjets.  LEM Well, go and get'im. SCOTTY Right, sir! GRISHAM Ain't he a little young?  You should oughtta throw him back. LEM I'm stuck with him.  And I never kept notches. GRISHAM That ain't what I heered. LEM Lot o' tales goin round - ain't a one of 'em naught but sagebrush smoke. GRISHAM And the tale 'bout how you kilt me? LEM [sharp intake] I don't brag on none o' that no more. GRISHAM So, you think I like being plumb forgot? LEM If I thought tellin about it would ease you on to the next thing, you think I wouldn't? SCOTTY Tell me about what?  Injuns?  [certain] I know all about them. LEM [sigh] 5_SCOUTING AMB CRICKETS SOUND HORSES FANSHAW They're still out of range.  I can just barely catch snippets of sound at my farthest reach, but I'm fairly certain it is not Indians. LEM Hmm? FANSHAW I can make out English and Spanish.  Are we anywhere near the Mexico territories? LEM [quiet] Ain't impossible.  Deserters, mebbe. SCOTTY What ain't impossible? LEM We're gettin close.  Best to go on foot.  SCOTTY These here horses are my responsibility! LEM Best you stay and watch'em, then.  FANSHAW Don't forget the satchel. SOUND CREAK LEM Like I'd forget that. SCOTTY I wouldna gone through your kit or nothin!  I ain't no finger monkey. FANSHAW [laughs]  I ne'er heard that one before. SOUND REMOVING SPURS LEM Ain't that I don't trust you, son, just might need me some things.  If I was you, I'd take them horses up yonder - forge as far into the high rough as you can, but keep where you can see if I come tearin out of there.  You reckon? SCOTTY How'll you find us? LEM I'll find you.  Just be ready.  And don't shoot me. SOUND QUIET FEET ON DIRT 6_JULIET2 FLASHBACK echoey hallway LISETTE [running up] Fanshaw? FANSHAW LISETTE [trying to start a fight] We've been reconsidering your costume.  Those leggings are positively scandalous. FANSHAW [bland] Romeo can hardly appear in bloomers.  Would be rather difficult to climb to the balcony. LISETTE Perhaps plain trousers, then.  [sly] Though I understand you were quite keen on showing off your legs. FANSHAW [rueful] There is a great deal to be said for the freedom of movement.  [dismissive] But a costume is a costume.  I certainly shan't make a fuss. LISETTE [annoyed at not being able to get a rise out of F] Very well. 7_FANSHAW SCOUTS SOUND SLIGHT RUSTLE OF LEAVES LEM [very quiet] Close enough? FANSHAW I'll have a look round.  SOUND FANSHAW LEAVES GRISHAM [very loud] You hiding from something? LEM [reaction noise, quickly stifled] GRISHAM Ooh!  Scairt you, din't I? LEM [whispered] Made me jump damn near out my skin. GRISHAM [smug and evil] Well that's good, then.  Looks like I can get my own back on you. LEM What all do you want? GRISHAM Apart from you in a pine box?  I'm hankerin to be alive agin, but that ain't gon happen. LEM Not likely, nope.  How'd you follow us? GRISHAM What kind of tenderfoot you take me for that I can't follow my own damn horse? LEM [half realizing something] Damn. SOUND FANSHAW COMES BACK FANSHAW Who the devil is this? GRISHAM Who the devil are you? LEM What'd ya find out? FANSHAW A motley crew, but definitely girding themselves for battle.  GRISHAM What kinda girlie man are ya?  Highfaluting slicker talk! FANSHAW [sigh, but determined] They're half mounted already, but I could make out that they're waiting til after midnight, to make certain of finding as many people abed as possible. GRISHAM Put you in a dress, and I bet everyone'd wanna dance! FANSHAW We need to get moving. GRISHAM I think you need a shave, girlie man. SOUND KNIFE FANSHAW [finally breaking concentration] God damn you all to hell! SOUND PUNCH, KNEE TO GROIN LEM [trying not to laugh] GRISHAM FANSHAW Marquis of Queensbury be damned.  We need to go. GRISHAM [different kind of ooooh - like he's falling, or being dragged off] SOUND SUCK NOISE AND GRISHAM VANISHES LEM What'd you do to him? FANSHAW I didn't!  I couldn't-- I... haven't the faintest idea?  8_JULIET3 SOUND TAP ON DOOR LISETTE Fanshaw? FANSHAW Come in. LISETTE I've brought you your hat-- whatever are you doing? FANSHAW I was considering what I might do with my hair.  To create the right ilusion. LISETTE That is what the HAT is for. FANSHAW I prefer not.  It looks like an ottoman on my head.  LISETTE And Romeo does not wear a moustache. FANSHAW Whyever not? LISETTE On the stage, moustaches are only for villains and army colonels! FANSHAW [considering] I might just cut my hair. LISETTE That is the final straw!  Miss Peabody said this would happen. FANSHAW What? LISETTE That you would take too many liberties.  You are out. FANSHAW Out? LISETTE [snidely satisfied] You are no longer a member of this production. 9_DEAD SCOTT SOUND QUIET BOOTSTEPS LEM [very quiet] Scotty? FANSHAW [off a bit] Oh, good god. LEM Do I need to keep quiet? FANSHAW I don't see anyone.  .. hostile. SOUND QUICK, NOISIER FOOTSTEPS SCOTTY [as if waking up] Oooh! LEM What is--  [tragic regret] Ohh. SCOTTY They come in out of nowheres! FANSHAW I don't doubt it. SCOTTY And they took the damn horses, Mister Roberts! FANSHAW I think that just might explain-- SCOTTY And who in blue blazes is this feller? LEM [heavy sigh]  CLOSING       Auld Lang Syne [DeK4] EPISODE 4 1_DROP EVERYTHING SOUND UNBUCKLING, BAG DOWN, ETC. LEM Good thing I had that with me.   Though now I gotta leave it. SOUND SATCHEL DOWN FANSHAW Of course. SCOTTY I'm really sorry about this, sir. LEM I doubt me you coulda stopped it, son.  And you been punished enough. SCOTTY What do you mean?  They musta knocked me out, but I don't even feel it. FANSHAW I'll deal with him. LEM I'll leave you to it.  SCOTTY What are you doing? LEM Gonna haveta hoof it back to town - cain't take naught but my guns.  You gon' be all right? SOUND RUSTLE OF BUSHES FANSHAW Well, we won't be able to do much to stop them if they came across your bag, but that looks like a good hiding place.  Especially in the dark. SCOTTY Can't do anything?  What are you talking about?  FANSHAW Hush, Scotty.  Let Lem get moving and we'll have a good long talk. SOUND BOOTS RUN OFF 2_REBEL CAMP SOUND MANY HORSES, MEN CHATTER, etc. SOUND GRISHAM STUMBLES IN GRISHAM Where the hell?   [Thunder?]!  Goddam rustlers!  SOUND MEN WALK BY LEADER Two horses, two saddles.  I don't like it. SECOND Guerrero had the kid down before we realized.  But if there's another scout, he won't be able to get anywhere - at least not soon enough.   LEADER [thinks, then definite] We must move up the charge. SECOND We're nearly ready.  3_NO HEAVEN SCOTTY [trying not to cry] So that's IT?  I mean this is it?  No nothing left?  No heaven? FANSHAW There are so many things even I don't understand.  I wish I could offer you more in the way of consolation. SCOTTY But don't no one ever pass along? FANSHAW Most do.  And I'm even aware of those who spend some time like this, and then pass on, though there's no easy answer for how or why it happens. SCOTTY And I won't never even get to be with a woman. FANSHAW [uncomfortable] Oh, dear.  That is a shame. SCOTTY What's it like? FANSHAW [dread] What is ... what... like? SCOTTY Being with a woman? FANSHAW ... 4_RUNNING LEM [heavy but measured breathing] SOUND RUNNING FOOTSTEPS - TROT, NOT DASH LEM [muttered] Dammit.  Leastways there's a good moon. 4A_FLASHBACK MUSIC FLASHBACK SOUND NIGHT, DOGS, CHICKENS - ALARUMS SOUND ANGRY MOB, OFF ROBERTS [yelling, off]  Leastways, there's a good moon!  PIEDMONT [up close, heavy breathing, trying to be quiet] ROBERTS [off, yelling]  Spread out!  Don't let that traitor get away!  Where's that rope? PIEDMONT [gasp, then trying to breathe even quieter] SOUND VERY SLOW CREAK, SHUTTING DOOR ON THE NOISE. YOUNG LEM [about 12] Whatchoo doin', mister? PIEDMONT [terrible gasp, smothers a scream] 6_EXPERIENCE FANSHAW My experience is not ... vast, but I have had one or two ... romantic encounters. SCOTTY Well, you're a man of the world, ain't you?  You been all over the place! FANSHAW Oh dear.  [up]  I've spent most of my life deep in study.  I suppose I've always felt there would be time - later - to settle down to a family and all.  SCOTTY Me too.  Not the studying, but the ... "later". FANSHAW [after a moment]  Women are.... soft. SCOTTY [eager] Yeah? FANSHAW And round.  In places where men aren't. SCOTTY But they do got legs, don't they? FANSHAW [flabbergasted]  What? SCOTTY You never don't see none of them out of skirts!  Who knows what they got under there? FANSHAW Well, that I can answer - generally, women are made the same as men.  Arms, legs, heads - well, one head.  You understand. SCOTTY [avid] And bosoms. FANSHAW   Yes, that. 7_VARMINT SOUND RUNNING, LEM'S HEAVY BREATHING UNDER THIS? PIEDMONT Shh!  Don't let anyone know I am here. YOUNG LEM You the varmint they's looking fer? PIEDMONT There is no call to use such language, boy.  Do you know this area? YOUNG LEM I should hope I do!  My pa's Mr. Jorgenson's top man. PIEDMONT [sarcastic] So he's the one leading the search. YOUNG LEM [pride] Yup. SOUND OUTSIDE, THE ROW GETS CLOSER ROBERTS [outside]  Get him, Honeysuckle, there's a good bitch! YOUNG LEM [pride and fear] That's my pa! PIEDMONT But you're not going to tell him I am in here? YOUNG LEM I don't fancy getting whupped.  I ain't sposed to be in the barn at night.  8_YOUNG LOVE FANSHAW I was in love.  When I was very young. SCOTTY Was she really purtty? FANSHAW [sigh] I thought the sun rose and set with my beloved's face.  Have you ever seen hair so fine and blonde that your fingers desperately wanted to touch it? SCOTTY You talk so flowery, I bet all the girls jest love you! FANSHAW Our parents objected.  They said we were too young, and I was packed off to school. SCOTTY What didja do? FANSHAW I waited.  I nursed my deep love, and remained constant, like patience on a rock. SCOTTY You waited on a rock? FANSHAW I waited at school.  I was determined that one day, when we were old enough that no one could object, I would return and we would be joined forever. SCOTTY What happened? FANSHAW I made my way to the object of my affection and...discovered... SCOTTY Yes? FANSHAW That I was the only one who had bothered to wait. SCOTTY She'd gone and -- FANSHAW My "dearest love" had married another.  Had, and I quote "almost forgotten about that summer." SCOTTY Damn!  Women are right terrible. FANSHAW Don't fault women, boy.  There are quite as many constant and sweet-natured females as there are fickle and wicked men.  We all deserve a "heaping helping" of the blame. 8_DISCOVERED SOUND UNDER - LEM WALKING NOW, STILL BREATHING HARD, PACING HIMSELF YOUNG LEM They're fixing to hang you? PIEDMONT YOUNG LEM Why?  What for? PIEDMONT We were on opposite sides in a fight. YOUNG LEM You mean the war?    My pa says why keep slaves when you can hire men for even cheaper and don't have to sell them if'n they don't do the job right. PIEDMONT [incensed] You think your pa knows so much about everything, don't you? YOUNG LEM [a bit afraid] Well, he knows where you are. SOUND DOOR SLAMS OPEN ROBERTS There he is! MAN Get him! PIEDMONT [scream] SOUND SCUFFLE, KNIFE DRAWN YOUNG LEM [gasp, cut off by hand] PIEDMONT I'll kill your boy, just see if I won't! 10_STUCK SCOTTY You said you know about some folks what was like this for a time and then moved along? FANSHAW   We've encountered one or two. SCOTTY How'd it work? FANSHAW Work? SCOTTY I mean, I don't wanna be stuck out here, middle o' nowhere, all by my lonesome, forever! FANSHAW I don't know that I have an answer for you.  I've only been - like this - for a... a couple of years, myself, and haven't seen a fraction of what Lem has. SCOTTY Years?  You been dead for years and ain't moved on? FANSHAW .. help people.  And I get to see the world - [half pleased, half rueful] hmph... in perfect safety.  11_SHOT SOUND LEM RUNNING AGAIN PIEDMONT [panicky, but trying to be placating] I am going to have to ask you to take a step back, sir!  My hand could slip a fraction of an inch, and that's all it would take.   YOUNG LEM [gasp]  Pa? SOUND GUNSHOT SOUND TWO BODY DROPS ROBERTS [cold] You understand we cain't leave that kind of critter running loose, don't you? 12_BUSINESS FANSHAW Some folks stay because they have unfinished business, and once the business is completed, they are able pass on.  SCOTTY Business?  I ain't never been in business. FANSHAW No, no.  For instance, one young man was able to move along once his murderer was uncovered and hung. SCOTTY   I spose that could happen. FANSHAW Or perhaps when the horses have been recovered, since that was your task at the time of your death. SCOTTY [very down] Oh, right. FANSHAW [cheering]  Or, when the town has been warned.  That could very well have been at the forefront of your thoughts. SCOTTY [wailing] Oh no!  FANSHAW Whatever is the matter? SCOTTY What if it's ladies? FANSHAW [careful] What if what is "ladies"? SCOTTY What if I can't never pass on til I been with a lady? FANSHAW [cold, practical] That would be most extremely awkward.  Worry about that once we find out if you can get back to town or not. 13_WHUPPING YOUNG LEM [sniffles a bit] ROBERTS You crying, boy? YOUNG LEM [stifling it] No sir. ROBERTS   Now run and let Mrs. Roberts have a look at that scratch. SOUND A COUPLE OF STEPS, THEN TURN YOUNG LEM [blank] You shot him dead. ROBERTS YOUNG LEM In the dark, and on the draw, and din't even hit me. ROBERTS   [beat]  You asking something? YOUNG LEM What if he'd'a kilt me?  Or what if you did? ROBERTS [long pause]  Life's hard, boy.  You cain't let folks get away with wrongdoing, no matter who they got a grip on. YOUNG LEM SOUND BARN DOOR SWINGS OPEN, COUPLE OF STEPS ROBERTS Lem?  YOUNG LEM [almost a gasp] Yessir? ROBERTS [casual] Don't think I'm not gon' whale you for being in the barn by night, neither. [neeether] YOUNG LEM [quiet, resentful] Yes, sir. 14_CRICKET SCOTTY It ain't fair!  I'm being punished and I ain't never even done nothing! FANSHAW Life is not fair.  Death even less so.  SCOTTY I-- FANSHAW [cutting him off] Still, I expect there must be some sort of answer.  SCOTTY Answer? FANSHAW Very likely, when they take your body back to town, you will accompany it, and there will find what you need to do to pass on. SCOTTY What if they don't take it - me back? FANSHAW Lem will see that they do. SCOTTY   And what about you, Mister Fanshaw? FANSHAW What about me? SCOTTY Don't you get to pass on too? FANSHAW   But you see Scotty, I have no wish to. SCOTTY No?  Why? FANSHAW I still have many things to see.  And I feel like I'm doing good here.  There's a story I read some time back, a sort of fable, about a puppet that comes to life. SCOTTY That's crazy talk. FANSHAW That's why it's a story.  In the tale, a cricket is asked to stay with him and make sure he does the right things. SCOTTY All right.  Wait, a cricket, like a bug? FANSHAW A talking bug, but yes, a bug.  SCOTTY That's just plumb crazy. FANSHAW   [gasp]  Look at the horizon!  I think they are on the move! SCOTTY Is there something we can do? FANSHAW This is one of those times I truly wish there was. CLOSING     Auld Lang Syne [DeK4] EPISODE 5 1_COMING SOUND IN TOWN - HORSES, MEN, READYING FOR BATTLE COMMANDER [commands]  We need more shot at the western boundary!  Get someone over there! SOLDIER Yessir! SOUND FEET RUN OFF SHARPLY SOUND DISTANT APPROACH OF PAINED, SLOW RUNNING SOLDIER2 Sir!  Someone's coming!  On foot! COMMANDER On foot?  SENTRY [off] Halt! LEM [breathless, with long gasps] I can't... If I stop...  I'm gon fall down...  And I gotta get to...  The commander. SENTRY Stop, I say! COMMANDER Let him on through. LEM They're a-movin.  Deserters 'n comancheros.  Have guns.  COMMANDER Why are you-- LEM Kilt Scotty.  Took the horses.  Look sharp. Ungh! SOUND FALLS DOWN COMMANDER Are you all right?  [up] Someone get Doc! LEM I'll be [coughing fit] fine. Jest let me lie till the shakin goes off. 2_SPOOK HORSES SCOTTY We got to do something! FANSHAW And just what do you have in mind?  I've already done all I can, scouting them for Lem.  By the time they come close enough for us to get a look at, they will be moving fast enough that we shall hardly have time to observe. SCOTTY Can't we spook the horses or nothing?  That's what haints do, isn't it? FANSHAW I was with you the entire trip out from town.  Did the horses seem spooked to you? SCOTTY [really down] No. FANSHAW If Lem makes it back in time, there are ways we can help him.  Otherwise, we are merely spectators at this show. 3_TONIC DOC Can you get yourself around this? LEM [still hoarse, puffing] Tonic? DOC [shrug] Mostly brandy.  LEM [rusty chuckle] Thanks, doc. [drinks] LISETTE Oh, goodness.  I believe you are Fanshaw's dear friend.  LEM [coughs] DOC Din't say it was GOOD brandy. LEM [hawks, spits, clear throat]  Hits the spot.  LISETTE [calculating] And not able to walk away.  [cruel chuckle] How perfectly jolly. DOC The commander's gone off to rally the men, but they're like to need you to guide them.  You up fer it? LEM Will be... shortly.  Any chance of a mite to eat?  It's been a powerful long night, and not looking to roll up any time soon. 4_DO SOMETHING SCOTTY He's the only one what can hear us? FANSHAW We've come across... others.  But they are very rare. SCOTTY [yelling] I want to DO something!  I want to help! FANSHAW There is no need to make such a ... a ruckus!  I am in precisely the same predicament! SCOTTY But I-- GRISHAM [off]  Will you two shut up?  They're trying to sneak up on your position! FANSHAW Oh dear.  Come along. SCOTTY Where? FANSHAW To do the only productive thing - gather as much information as possible. 5_SADDLED SOUND MEN READY TO GO SOUND MOUNT UP LEM [sigh of relief, but also soreness]  COMMANDER You doing all right, there, feller? LEM Better saddle than boots.  I fair run the soles offa these. COMMANDER Morning comes, we'll stand you a new set.  Least we can do.  Let's go. SOUND HORSES MOVE OUT LEM Commander? COMMANDER Hmm? LEM Rather than meet them headlong, since ain't no way to know how far they come, might could I suggest a defensive position? COMMANDER This town is not a good place for that.  Too spread out.  And there's no way to get everyone into the fort, not without leaving near everything they own ripe for the picking. LEM Nah - I'm a-thinkin just this side of the bridge, right about halfway out.  Bridge and creek - they ain't much, but if we can catch them this side of it, put their backs to water, and use the treeline for cover-- COMMANDER I like the way you think, hombre.  [up] Company!  [attention!] 6_FIGHT GRISHAM Ain't no way you're taking me by surprise again, you-- ow! SOUND PUNCH FANSHAW [casual] shut up. SCOTTY That was a good'un! But what if he lands one on you - he's awful big! FANSHAW Leave him!  [quiet, moving away]  We can't actually be hurt.  But not everyone realizes that, and many feel the pain, even when there is no reason to.  I learned that the hard way. GRISHAM [off] I'm a-gonna get you! FANSHAW Blast!  He may not be able to harm me, but he can annoy and distract, and make it difficult to get anything constructive done. SCOTTY Maybe - maybe I could keep him from bothering you? FANSHAW How? SCOTTY Well, I been plumb angry since I got kilt, and my momma says sometimes the best way to get over anger, if you don't got no pie, is to-- GRISHAM Kill you, you girly man! SCOTTY [grunt as he punches him] GRISHAM oof! SCOTTY Better'n pie!  You go on, Mr. Fanshaw, and do what you gotta. FANSHAW Good lad. 7_GRANDKIDS LEM [muttered] Fanshaw?    Too far out.  COMMANDER What's the terrain like beyond the bridge? LEM Nothing much to speak of.  Some hills.  A ridge off to the north where first we saw them.  No place fer them to make a stand tween here and there, though. COMMANDER   Cain't let this sort of thing go.  LEM Course not.  COMMANDER You got the extra shot you needed, did you? LEM   Had to leave all o' mine cached back with Scotty. COMMANDER You're sure he's ... dead? LEM I'm afraid I do know dead when I see it. COMMANDER [sad] That's too bad. LEM Kin? COMMANDER   LEM [trying to ease] He went down fightin. COMMANDER That don't give my sister grandbabies. LEM [symp] Nope, it shore don't. 8_PIRATES SOUND MUCH CREEPING FANSHAW Looks like about three score.  Hardly a fair fight, sneaking up on a defenseless town at night.  Like pirates. 8A_FLASHBACK MUSIC FLASHBACK AMB BRIGHT SUNNY DAY NANNY Come along in now, bunny bug. YOUNG CLARA Stop calling me that, nanny!  I'm very nearly 10 years old. NANNY You'll always be my little bunny bug.  Oh!  Whatever is that tea towel doing on your head?  [gasp of fear]  Did you hurt yourself?  Show nanny! YOUNG CLARA No!  I am a pirate. NANNY Do not be so silly.  There are no pirates. YOUNG CLARA Of course there are.  They are in books, so they must be real. NANNY Besides, you cannot be a pirate. YOUNG CLARA Well not just NOW.  When I am bigger, I shall be able to do whatever I want. 9_WASPS COMMANDER Did you see how big a force they had? LEM Not to count them, but it was bigger'n I thought.  At least 30, probably more. COMMANDER [skeptical] Really? LEM They had a dozen cookin fires goin, and you don't make a fire to feed a lone fellow. COMMANDER [considers, then agrees] No, you don't.  LEM 'Sides, better to expect a whole hive of wasps than be surprised by one too many. COMMANDER [chuckles]  Sound thinking.  [up]  Lieutenant! 10_BAG SOUND STILL MUCH MOVEMENT SOUND SCOTTY AND GRISHAM, FIGHTING SCOTTY [pleased] You tired yet, feller?  I ain't even blowed! GRISHAM [tired] You little whippersnapper!  Think you can pull a man's whiskers and walk away! FANSHAW [muttered] There are some distinct benefits to being dead.  More than he will ever know.  [gasp] No. RUFFIAN1 Hey!  I found something! SOUND CREAK OF LEATHER - LEM'S GEAR FANSHAW [worried] Damn!  Lem's bag! RUFFIAN2 What? SECOND Silence! RUFFIAN2 [whispered] bring it - we'll split it later! RUFFIAN1 Split it?  Nonsense!  It's mine, whatever it is! SECOND [whispered] Keep moving! 11_SCOUT AHEAD COMMANDER [ordering, but hushed] Take your men and circle round up thataway.  Get to high ground and cut off retreat. BOB Yessir! LEM If you don't mind, sir, I'us thinkin I might scout on up ahead a mite.  COMMANDER You aren't even being paid to be part of this, fellow, why do you keep risking yourself? LEM [shrug] Someone's gotta.  'sides I had to leave my kit behind, and wanna get it if I can before someone else lays hands on it. COMMANDER Valuables? LEM Nothin worth money, but some things cain't be replaced. COMMANDER [teasing a bit] Go on then, but if you see them coming, you'll come back and tell us first, eh? LEM [chuckle] I reckon. 12_LEAD ROPE SCOTTY Mister Fanshaw!  That fellow just vanished!  Like he flew away, whilst I was a-hittin on him! FANSHAW I fear I shall be gone shortly as well. SCOTTY Why? FANSHAW I am not sure of his reasons, but I must stay with the bag.  Now that it has been found... SCOTTY Why?  Keeping an eye on it? FANSHAW   There's something in there - Oh!  It's moving.  Stay with me as long as you can.  SCOTTY Why can't I--? FANSHAW Shh!  [very hurried] Picture a rope tied to something, say, to you - your body, over there.  And you are on the other end. SCOTTY Like a training rope? [ASK PAT] FANSHAW Basically, yes.  You can go anywhere, within the circle made by that rope. SCOTTY [figuring it out] So you're ... tied to that bag? FANSHAW Yes!  [gasp] Bloody thieves! SOUND FANSHAW SUCKED AWAY 13_BE A BOY YOUNG CLARA I am going to be a pirate!  I shall sail the seven seas and steal all the gold! NANNY Stealing is very wicked.  YOUNG CLARA But you can't be a pirate without stealing!  Then you're just a sailor! NANNY And young ladies do not become pirates.  Young ladies become mommies. YOUNG CLARA Or nannies. NANNY [reassuring] Don't fret yourself, bunny bug.  You shall be a mummy. YOUNG CLARA I should rather be a nanny.  Mummies are boring.  Nannies have things to do. NANNY [sigh] Mummies have things to do too. YOUNG CLARA I don't want to be a mummy, I want to be a pirate!  I want to see the world! NANNY [stern] There are many thing in this world, Clara Fanshaw, that are only meant for boys. YOUNG CLARA Then I want to be a boy! END     Auld Lang Syne [DeK4] EPISODE 6 1_READY SOUND NIGHT, MEN BEING QUIET, HORSES OFF COMMANDER Yer sure you wanna go on out there, all on your own?? LEM I'm best on my own, and I don't want another of yer boys on my conscience. COMMANDER [acknowledging] Scotty. LEM If I can't see my way to get back and warn you quick enough, I'll shoot off twice-- COMMANDER [warning] They'll know you're there. LEM I kin look after myself.  Two shots means it's a-comin, and I spect after that there'ull be plenty more shots to keep y'all busy.  I best get a move on. COMMANDER One thing. LEM Yeah? COMMANDER One of my men swore he'd seen you before. LEM [down] Oh. COMMANDER And that you're the Deadeye kid. LEM I- COMMANDER [overriding, but clearly lying] I told him not to be so credulous.  Deadeye Kid looks nothing like that man that's about to save our town. LEM [realizing] Ri-ight. COMMANDER [serious] Don't make me a liar. LEM I kin only do my best. SOUND WALKS AWAY 2_BLACKGUARDS SOUND COMMOTION, MANY MEN, HORSES, TRAVELING LEADER [loud whisper] We'll leave the horses near the stream and sneak up. FANSHAW RUFFIAN2 [whisper] What's in that bag you found anyways? RUFFIAN1 [whisper] Ain't had no time, but it's shore heavy. RUFFIAN2 [whisper]  Heavy is good!  Mebbe it's gold! RUFFIAN1 Well, I still ain't sharing! FANSHAW Such stimulating conversation.  I wonder how far ahead of these ruffians I can manage to stay.  3_TALLYHO SOUND STEALTHY MOVING THROUGH UNDERBRUSH, STOPS LEM   [angry hmph] They cain't be too damn far off.  And ridin. FANSHAW [distant]  Tally-ho!  LEM [starts to laugh but turns it into a snort] FANSHAW Halloooooo!  Halloo- [suddenly cut off] LEM What the devil?  [shrugs, to himself] Well, you can take care of your own damn self. SOUND RUNNING FEET TAKE OFF 4_STRUGGLE AMB IN THE ATTACK FORCE GRISHAM Now I gotcha sorted out! FANSHAW [muffled noises] SOUND STRUGGLING GRISHAM Oh, no you don't!  SOUND MORE STRUGGLE GRISHAM I finally figgered out cain't do nothing to hurt me.  Long as I ignore it.  But I can still keep a tight grip on you. FANSHAW [noise of effort] GRISHAM [ouch!] Hey!  You bit me!  FANSHAW Keep ahead of them!!!! GRISHAM   [disgusted noise] FANSHAW [to grisham] Damn you all to--[muffled again] GRISHAM Stop with all the wiggling, you stupid--  [stunned!] whatthehell? FANSHAW [noise of effort] SOUND STRUGGLE, BREAKS FREE GRISHAM You're a-- ?  FANSHAW You may be stronger than me, but I am faster. SOUND FANSHAW LEAVES GRISHAM what the hell?  A female? 5_SIGNAL COMMANDER He's been gone a fair piece. SOUND [DISTANT] TWO GUN SHOTS COMMANDER [commanding, but quiet]  They're coming! SOUND [command passes along ranks - GET VOICES] COMMANDER [a bit superior]  I knew that that fellow was no sort of outlaw.  6_PLAN DOS LEADER Shots? SECOND Sir? LEADER   Someone has seen.  Get El puerco and his fellows.  Tell them plan dos. SECOND Plan dos, sir? LEADER They'll circle south and get behind the town.  We get some children in hand, no one will fight any more. SECOND Yessir! SOUND RUNS OFF SCOTTY [torn] I can't just let them-- [plaintive] but what can I do? 7_BUCKETFULL SOUND HORSES APPROACHING NOTE - Lem is lying in wait, letting the group go past, and plans to pick them off from behind. FANSHAW [distant but closer, yelling] Lem!  That dead friend of yours is about - watch out! LEM [muttered] Damn.  And I don' want to go shootin no good horse jest to lay a varmint like that down. SOUND HORSES BEGIN TO PASS LEM [very quietly] 30...?  Nearer fifty.  That's a bucketful of wasps. SOUND SHOTS!  (where the horses went to) LEM [muttered to self] hold on.  SOUND NO MORE HORSES COMING LEM [muttered] almost... GRISHAM There you are! LEM [sharp intake of breath]  That don't work on me twice.  Specially when I been warned. GRISHAM Oh, that girly friend of your'n?  Funny thing about that-- SOUND GRISHAM IS YANKED AWAY LEM Good riddance.  And jest in time. SOUND BEGINS SHOOTING MaN [shot, fall] 8_HOLD THE LINES COMMANDER [roaring now] Hold the lines!  More shot, boy! BOY Yessir! MAN [hit, argh!] COMMANDER Stay low! FANSHAW All seems rather well here.  GRISHAM There you are. FANSHAW Bloody hell. GRISHAM [nasty chuckle] I was just wondring - if I kin grab you, I bet I kin kiss you, little lady! FANSHAW [dodging] I doubt you'll catch me again, now that I'm watching for you, but I will admit that one advantage to being a ghost is that I needn't make an effort to remain upwind of you. SOUND FANSHAW OUT 9_RELOAD SOUND COMMOTION OFF, NOT RIGHT HERE SOUND RELOADING SOUND NEARBY HORSE PFFS LEM That's nine.  SOUND SLAPS GUN SHUT SCOTTY [distant, yelling] Someone!  They're circling round!  There's some fellers as are going south to get behind lines! LEM   [listens for a second]  Fanshaw?  Damn.  SCOTTY [yelling]  Please!  Don't let them hurt nobody in town. LEM [muttered] boy'll yell himself hoarse.  [chuckles]  dead don't get hoarse.  But I gotta get one.  [clucks to horse] SOUND HORSE BLOWS LEM [grunts as he swings into the saddle]  Come on. FANSHAW [a bit distant] Lem? LEM Wazzat?  There you are! FANSHAW Close as I can get just now, and can't stay.  That blighter keeps trying to grab me. LEM Grisham?  FANSHAW The commander seems to be holding well.  The villains have taken heavy losses and are starting to fall apart. LEM   Can you yell to Scotty, let him know I got his message? FANSHAW What message? LEM Just try and tell the boy.  So he can rest hisself.  [to the horse] Geeyah! SOUND HORSE TAKES OFF FANSHAW Scotty?  Can you hear me? 10_YOU STAY COMMANDER Let's clean this up - leave none of them to try and harm the town. CORPORAL Yessir! Should we capture them, or-- COMMANDER This is no time to be peaceable.  They set themselves up to attack a settlement, and we have to take serious measures. SOUND HORSE APPROACHING LEM [distant] Commander! COMMANDER Let him through.  [up, to Lem]  Looks like we've got nearly all of them.  SOUND GUNSHOTS DISTANT COMMANDER A bit of tidying up to do, but-- SOUND HORSE PULLS UP and STOPS LEM [to horse] Whoah!  I overheard a couple at the back, saying they had a force circlin south - dozen men mebbe - to get round any resistance and come up behind.  COMMANDER My god! LEM Horse up a few good men, load em up and come with me. COMMANDER You, boy! BOY Yessir? COMMANDER Bring my horse, quickly! LEM You're needed here, surely? COMMANDER You're the one who needs a rest, mister Roberts.  My corporal, here, will be happy to hear any other suggestions you might have, but I will be leading my men. LEM Sound thinkin.  I have been going a bit. COMMANDER Corporal? CORPORAL [acknowledging] Yes sir. FANSHAW Lem?  I think I got through to Scotty, but there's such a distance.  Poor lad, he merely wants to do his duty. SOUND LEM DISMOUNTS LEM Let's you and I see if we cain't root out a few more of these varmints.  I see purty well in the dark. CORPORAL Excellent!  FANSHAW I'll see what I can turn up. GRISHAM Found you! FANSHAW Oh, damn!  GRISHAM You ain't never getting away from me, you-- FANSHAW [hits out] GRISHAM [ungh!] FANSHAW Have to get him out of here, Lem.  Too distracting. SOUND FANSHAW LEAVES GRISHAM [laughs triumphantly]  Coward!  But I don't suppose I should be surprised. LEM [quietly, but deadly serious] You don't stop making a fuss, I'm gon' kill your horse. GRISHAM What? LEM You sit still and be quiet or that horse yer so attached to is gonna find itself on the wrong end of a bullet.  You hear me? GRISHAM [all the bluster gone]  LEM   I don't fancy killin no animal just fer this, but this here's a battle-- SOUND GUNSHOT LEM [gasp, hit!] Damn! SOUND QUICKDRAW, GUNS BLAZE GRISHAM Hah!  I still gotcha! LEM [weakening, through gritted teeth] Din't no one see them a-sneakin up?  CORPORAL [commanding] Men! SOUND MORE GUNSHOTS LEM [groan] SOUND BODY DROP AS HE COLLAPSES END   NEXT EPISODE BEGINS SOUND FADES IN AND OUT COMMANDER Hold on, there, fellow. LEM [vague] all's well? COMMANDER We got em. LEM My pack? COMMANDER I'll set someone to finding it. FADE OUT DOCTOR Bite down on this.  He's lost a lot of blood. FADE OUT BOOTMAKER I'll have a new pair ready before he'll be walking anywhere on them.  You sure I should even bother--? FADEOUT WOMAN Just a little bit of broth, mister.  You need to get some o'yer strength back. SICKROOM LEM [annoyed moan] FANSHAW You're awake. LEM [quiet]  Anyone--? FANSHAW Not close enough to hear - as long as you stay quiet. LEM   I been shot? FANSHAW At least twice, judging by the bandages.  Once in the chest, once in the leg, I should say.  I should have been watching. LEM [reassuring] Can't leave you to do everythin.   FANSHAW [awkward pause, then stiffly]  Should I ...go? LEM Go?  go where? FANSHAW [covering] I - I mean, leave you in peace.  To rest.  I don't doubt you will still be needing a great deal of it. LEM [straining a bit]  Did you see, did it go alla way through? FANSHAW I don't know, but you were very fortunate - or so the doctor declared. LEM [satisfied]  FANSHAW I'll leave you to your rest, then, shall I? LEM Go or stay, I ain't so wrung out I cain't tell you got somethin on yer mind. FANSHAW LEM Is it that female ghost o'yours yer frettin over? FANSHAW [bracing breath]  LEM [exasperated snort]  Yer worried she said sumpin, izzat it? FANSHAW LEM [playing it up a bit] You furriners and the trifles that plague you. FANSHAW So she did--? LEM [shrug]    So? FANSHAW [surprised] So? LEM You cain't be the first. FANSHAW First? LEM Nor the last, like enough. FANSHAW But it... doesn't... bother you? LEM Well, you don't do it no more. FANSHAW .. don't? LEM 'sides, plenty of little fellers wet up the bed right up til they'us in long pants.  FANSHAW What? END    

Kurt and Scotty read your confessions about stealing toilet paper from work, hooking up with guy who didn't own toilet paper and a substitute that ran out of class because his cat was in the microwave! See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

We talk all about Scotty's big charity bike ride... then some other things Andy can't think about for the description, OOPS!

Scotty is back with another interview and his guest is returning guest, David Perry, who played Jason Campbell in 72 and Calvin in Scream: Legacy. David discusses with Scotty his preparation for 72 and how to act in a pandemic horror film, the stereotypes of being black and the first to die in a horror film, which Amityville film that he's been a part of is his favorite, and much, much more. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/slasherscotty/support

On this episode of Car Torque, Matty is joined by Alam, Ed, David, Patrick and Scotty as they discuss their latest updates, David takes us on a Journey to Japan to discuss Kei cars and the boys battle it out in the quiz. Don't forget to subscribe, rate and review! Support us and become a Patreon! https://www.patreon.com/cartorquepodcast Check out our merch here! https://car-torque-store.creator-spring.com/ https://carloop.com.au/

We knew it was going to happen eventually! Unfortunately, the Scotty household is infested with Covid, so instead of not having an episode this week, here are more of the greatest hits, and funniest stories. We apologize for the convenience of another great episode, and keep on laughing, assholes.

This week we are having a Cult Meeting and catching up since we haven't been together in a bit.  Jestina tells us of her trip to New Orleans, that leads us to a Hamilton discussion,  plus Scotty watched Nope and started a religion on Nick Saban, look its that kinda show, plus Steph is really excited about our next movie.  Got to tune into find out what it is! The Cult Movie Cantina is a Podcast that takes a look at favorite Cult Films, pairs it with a cocktail or alcoholic beverage, shows it to someone who hasn't seen it and then talk about it.  The show is filled with great trivia and fun facts along the way. Join the Cult https://www.facebook.com/CultMovieCantina Join us on YouTub www.YouTube.com/MopcastNetwork TikTok @Mopcast Get Show Notes http://www.scottywhite.com/

Scotty is back with another episode of Slasher Scotty and his guest is none other than Marc Sheffler, who played Junior Stillo in the original The Last House on the Left film. Marc discusses with Scotty his thoughts on the remake of The Last House on the Left, what it feels like to be in a cult classic film, what it was like working with an, at the time, unknown Wes Craven and Sean S. Cunningham, and much, much more. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/slasherscotty/support

Sarah Marshall (You're Wrong About podcast) joins Kurt and Scotty to talk about breathing through your butthole, a Japanese worker that lost a USB stick with the entire city's data on it, a sentient AI that hired an attorney and a man who called the police to see if he was ripped off buying meth!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This week they invade 1986 with Scotty Cav and run down venomous snakes, Cobra, and choking on chicken. Join the invasion! Patreon | Instagram | Facebook | Twitter MERCH: https://silkshopstores.com/invadethedecademerch/shop/home  Miller & Son BBQ Sauce: https://www.millsauceco.com/ PURE YogaTV: https://pureyogatv.com/ Music Credits: "Fife and Drum" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 License https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/legalcode  "Exhilarate" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/legalcode  "Glitter Blast" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/legalcode 

During today's conversation on Back Porch Theology, I have the HUGE privilege of introducing you to one of my living heroes of faith – the man who introduced me to grace. I've been attending church since I was in utero and have been reading the Bible – or having it read to me - from my earliest memories but the concept of grace – of God's unmerited favor - was always like wet soap to me – it was hard to hang on to. Until I moved to Nashville at the age of 21 and began attending a church led by a Birkenstock wearing pastor named Scotty Smith. It's not hyperbolic to say that the Holy Spirit used Scotty to create a seismic shift in my heart toward Jesus – the long season I enjoyed as a member of his church, and ultimately as one of the students he mentored at Covenant Theological Seminary is what built the spiritual scaffolding that supports my belief system, as well as the intimacy I now have with Jesus. I love and respect this man so much that if I had a son, I'd probably name him Scotty – of course, that implies getting married and having this old jar of clay restored back to its pre-menopausal vitality, so I digress! The bottom line is, I'm beyond happy to have Pastor and Professor Scotty Smith here today so please grab a cup of coffee and your Bible, unless you're driving or shelling peas of course, and come hang out on the porch with us. Back Porch Theology sponsored in part by Dwell Bible App. Save 30% off Dwell for Life at Dwellapp.io/LisaHarper

Karen returns as we have an extended roundtable discussion of what we have been up to! Scotty, Karen, Mike, Lyndsay, and Jon catch up on the many thing that we have been up since last we have been together on…

Greetings, my Royal Subjects! It is I, Princess Donnasaurus, wishing you a most resplendent summer! I have been making sure that my summer is resplendent by bestowing Royal Hugs upon all of my friends. That is a very good way to say “I love you!” Of course, I only give Royal Hugs to my friends if they want them. If someone says they do not want a hug right now (even one from a Regal Personage such as myself!), another majestic way to say “I love you” is to save your hug for another time. I would be delighted to offer you a Royal Hug, but unfortunately, we are too far apart. Instead, may I suggest that you have your grown-up help you write me to tell me—how were you kind today, and then I decree that Scotty shall send you a sticker!Have a stately summer, my friends, and I shall see you soon in The Imagine Neighborhood! PS: I love you!! 

Naughtsie and Scotty did an exclusive chat to wingman James Jordon on his new role, September aspirations, who his mentors are, plus a whole lot more. To access the full interview sign up to DeeBrief Premium via http://thedeebrief.com/ and get ALL of our exclusive content.

The Bluebloods are live from ASUN Media Day in Atlanta, GA. Austin Peay Head Coach Scotty Walden give his thoughts on the upcoming season for Austin Peay, replacing QB Draylen Ellis this offseason, the recruiting strategy for Austin Peay, & which players that could have a huge season for the Governors. All this and more right here on The Bluebloods!​ --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/the-bluebloods/support

Liz checks in from maternity to talk about what's been going on!

In this episode, we revisit a classic Veteran's Day interview between Pastor Greg Laurie and Captain Scotty Smiley. They discuss Scotty's service as an Army Ranger and his experience as the Army's first active-duty, blind officer. On April 6, 2005, Scotty lost his eyesight when a suicide car bomber blew himself up thirty meters in front of Scotty's IAV Stryker vehicle. Shrapnel blew through Scotty's eyes, leaving him blinded and temporarily paralyzed. He woke up in Walter Reed Army Medical Center a week later. Through questioning his faith, Scotty made a decision to forgive and rebuild his life and continue to serve in the Army, becoming the first blind active-duty officer in military history. Listen in for an amazing testimony. Learn more about his story at hopeunseen.com. It's important that we take the time to remember and honor our military veterans. It's because of their selfless service and sacrifice that we live in a free country today. --- Learn more about Greg Laurie and Harvest Ministries at harvest.org. This podcast is supported by the generosity of our Harvest Partners.Support the show: https://harvest.org/supportSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

In this episode, we revisit a classic Veteran's Day interview between Pastor Greg Laurie and Captain Scotty Smiley. They discuss Scotty's service as an Army Ranger and his experience as the Army's first active-duty, blind officer. On April 6, 2005, Scotty lost his eyesight when a suicide car bomber blew himself up thirty meters in front of Scotty's IAV Stryker vehicle. Shrapnel blew through Scotty's eyes, leaving him blinded and temporarily paralyzed. He woke up in Walter Reed Army Medical Center a week later. Through questioning his faith, Scotty made a decision to forgive and rebuild his life and continue to serve in the Army, becoming the first blind active-duty officer in military history. Listen in for an amazing testimony. Learn more about his story at hopeunseen.com. It's important that we take the time to remember and honor our military veterans. It's because of their selfless service and sacrifice that we live in a free country today. --- Learn more about Greg Laurie and Harvest Ministries at harvest.org. This podcast is supported by the generosity of our Harvest Partners.Support the show: https://harvest.org/supportSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Scotty is back with another episode of Slasher Scotty and his guest is SJ Hermann, who was the director and screenwriter for Trepidity. SJ discusses with Scotty how overnight shooting is difficult, an upcoming film project titled It Came From Somewhere that is going to be a throwback to 1950s Creature Feature films, how special effects were challenging in the making of Trepidity, and much, much more. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/slasherscotty/support

Alex Kirry and Scott Mitchell are joined by Hans and Scotty hosts Hans Olsen and Scott Garrard to preview tomorrow's Pac-12 Media Day. Follow UnRivaled onTwitter,InstagramandFacebookfor more.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

A quirk of fate brings both Lem and Fanshaw face to face with people from their pasts.  disagreeable reunions bring up disagreeable memories, and show a taste of what makes a man into a gunslinger. Written and Produced by Julie Hoverson Cast List Lemuel Roberts /Deadeye Kid -  J. Spyder Isaacson Clarence Fanshaw -  J. Hoverson ~~~~~~ Grisham - Bill Hollweg  (BrokenSea Audio) Lisette Carmichael - Robyn Keyes Commander Bannington -  Glen Hallstrom Scotty - Mike Campbell Other Voices: Episode 1 Bartender - Rick Lewis Episode 2 Townsfolks - Mark Olson, Candace Behuniak, Big Anklevitch & Rish Outfield (Dunesteef audio magazine) Episode 3 Juliet - Alexa Chipman (Imagination Lane) Glen Hallstrom Episode 4 Bandits - Big Anklevitch & Rish Outfield (Dunesteef audio magazine) Piedmont - Russell Gold Mr. Roberts - Jack Kincaid (Edict Zero) Episode 5 Nanny - Jennifer Dixon Bandits - Big Anklevitch & Rish Outfield (Dunesteef audio magazine) Episode 6 Bandits - Big Anklevitch & Rish Outfield (Dunesteef audio magazine) Mark & Connor Olson Russell Gold Cover Design:  Brett Coulstock Announcer:  Glen "Ole Hoss" Hallstrom Opening theme:  "The Wreck of Old '97" from public domain recording found on archive.org Any incidental music:  Kevin MacLeod (Incompetech.com) Editing and Sound:   Julie Hoverson   No gunshots herald his approach.  No trademark left behind him when he leaves.  The Kid had his fill of notoriety in days gone by - as plenty of empty boots can surely testify.   Some say he rides alone.  That's the Deadeye Kid. ************************************************************* Auld Lang Syne [DeK4] EPISODE 1 MUSIC 1_ARRIVAL SOUND     HORSES, RIVER, BOAT TRAFFIC LEM    Largest town I been near in a good passel of time.  I hear tell it started out as a frontier fort, but the frontier moseyed west and left it a-setting behind. FANSHAW    Will it be safe? LEM    Safe? FANSHAW    I had rather assumed you were avoiding larger towns.  For ... notoriety's sake. LEM    Meaning I don't want be invited to a necktie party?  'at's part of it, though I'm purty sure I ain't never been posted in this territory.  FANSHAW    Is it worth the risk? LEM    [shrug noise]  Time to time a man wants a bath and a night in a bed. FANSHAW    There are some distinct benefits to being deceased. LEM    [laughs]  Ayup.  I don't gotta listen to you bellyaching about aches and pains and sleeping on the ground no more.  Never mind being all prissy and citified about finding you a comf'table bush now and then-- FANSHAW    [rolling eyes]  Yes, yes. LEM    Sides, I'm outta coffee.  And low on shells.  FANSHAW    [teasing] Heavens.  How DO you manage? 2_STROLLING AMB    IN TOWN SOUND    WALKING ON WOOD LEM    Lotta trade hereabouts.  Reckon I'll be able to get what all I need. FANSHAW    Lem!  Soldiers. LEM    [voice low]  Right.  We'll go on over yonder.  [beat] Must still be a fort within spitting distance.  FANSHAW    I did notice that the old fortification appears to have become the mansion for an authority of some kind.  LEM    Probly best to get my business done and skeddaddle. SOUND    SALOON DOOR OPENS, JUST OFF, PEOPLE COME OUT FANSHAW    I say.  Isn't it a bit early for a drink? LEM    [shrug] Three weeks.  Don't seem early to me. FANSHAW    I'll-- LISETTE    [off a bit] Clary? FANSHAW    [stunned and horrified] Oh god. LISETTE    [off a bit] Clary?  I'd know that voice anywhere! LEM    Friend o'yourn? FANSHAW    [stiff, covering]  Old acquaintance.  Go on ahead! LEM    Right. 3_SALOON SOUND    HE WALKS INTO SALOON AMB    SALOON LEM    One here. SOUND    DRINK POURED BARTENDER    There you go. SOUND    COINS SOUND    LEM DRINKS GRISHAM    [angry growl] Lemuel Roberts. LEM    [SPIT-TAKE] SOUND    GLASS SLAMMED DOWN BARTENDER    Something wrong, fella? LEM    [coughing, trying to clear his throat]  Toothache.  Hit like a snakebite. GRISHAM    You look at me, you pissant slab of gun leather. BARTENDER    [sympathetic] Tarnation.  You need it yonked?  Barber can‑‑ LEM    [finally getting clear] No, no.  I kin handle it.  SOUND    COINS, GLASS DOWN LEM    Another.  And sorry about the-- BARTENDER    [dismissive] Ain't no nevermind. SOUND    MORE COINS LEM    Give me the bottle. GRISHAM    Now I found you, you could float a heap o rotgut and won't never drown me! BARTENDER    You drink more careful now, you hear? LEM    Ayup. 4_LISETTE AMB    OUTSIDE LISETTE    [close, laughing] Oh, good lord, look at you!  Mustache and all.  Aren't you a little brigadier? FANSHAW    [acknowledging] Carmichael. LISETTE    Oh, how formal.  Just like at school.  What have you been up to Clary, dear? FANSHAW    "Fanshaw," if you please. LISETTE    And we used to be such chums.  However did you end up here? FANSHAW    I'm quite sorry to see that you are dead, Carmichael. LISETTE    [laughing] Oh, I rather doubt that!  You're only very sad to see that I'm here, aren't you? FANSHAW    Would you prefer that I said I am pleased to find that you died, since that would be the only circumstance that could ever have stopped you from tormenting every living soul around you? LISETTE    [not amused any more]  At least that would be closer to the truth. FANSHAW    Jolly good.  Happy you're dead.  Must get along. LISETTE    Don't run off so quickly, Clary!  FANSHAW    [long breath of self-control]  LISETTE    There's been no one interesting to talk to or listen in on for simply ages.  FANSHAW    How unfortunate.  Must rush. LISETTE    I noticed you speaking to that fellow. FANSHAW    [quiet] Bloody hell.  [up]  I speak to a lot of people. LISETTE    I'm sure.  But he replied.  Might I speak with him as well? FANSHAW    I-- LISETTE    Oh, just watch your face!  You're trying desperately to come up with a lie!  You never could hide anything from me, mustache or no mustache, silly Clary-- FANSHAW    Stop calling me that. LISETTE    Oh, how I've missed these little moments with my dearest friends - ever since I made the leap.  I shall have to spend a great deal of time with you - and with your rugged looking friend.  FANSHAW    [gritted teeth] Jolly good. 5_SALOON2 AMB    SALOON SOUND    LEM DRINKS, SLAMS DOWN GLASS GRISHAM    I know you kin hear me, you toad-bellied worm. SOUND    CHAIR SHIFTS, KICKED OUT FROM TABLE LEM    [low] Sit. GRISHAM    What makes you think I'd sit with you?  You done went and killed me! LEM    That's one reason I'm plumb surprised to see you.  You went down all the way to Fayetteville - damn far north o' here. GRISHAM    I ... drifted. LEM    That's just what's got me hornswoggled.  Ain't no one drifts. GRISHAM    Well I did, and I's planning to get you back for what you done, one way or t'other. LEM    [sigh] SOUND    DRINK POURS 6_PIGS SOUND    PIGS LEM    Why'd you drag me out to the slaughterhouse? FANSHAW    That woman - ghost woman. LEM    An old flame? FANSHAW    Nonsense!  We knew each other as ... children.  She is-- [changing the subject] She is unlikely to follow us here.  LEM    Spect not.  Womenfolks ain't fond of this sort of messy business. FANSHAW    [disgusted] Yes... LEM    So?  You'd best'a brought me here fer a reason. FANSHAW    Lisette Carmichael.  She [hard to say] is a person who likes to know things.  About other people.  She likes to -- LEM    Hold a grudge?  Like a noose over yer head? FANSHAW    Aptly put.  Yes.  LEM    You cain't have much in the way of dark secrets, though, can you?  Leastways not no more. FANSHAW    You might be surprised. LEM    Who's she a-gonna tell?  [realizes] Oh.  FANSHAW    And while I'm fairly certain you think you could overlook any past indiscretion on my  part, I don't doubt there are a few things that might shock even you.  Lord knows, she's not even above the occasional fabrication. LEM    [after a moment]  Did it involve a sheep? FANSHAW    What? LEM    Whatever it was you done. FANSHAW    No.  It isn't - it's not like that at all. LEM    [shrug] Sounds like we should jest ride on out. FANSHAW    What? LEM    Got my coffee, ain't no reason to lollygag. FANSHAW    You would leave?  Over this? LEM    I figger you saved m'life more'n once, and ain't much I can do in return.  SOUND    WALKING IN MUD LEM    Let's get gone before you start a-thanking me. 7_BARN AMB    BARN SOUND    TACK, HORSES, ETC. LEM    You distract her, I'll get the gear.  Come and find me when you feel the pull. FANSHAW    Righty-ho.  SOUND    LEAVES GRISHAM    Running away, eh?  Allus knew you'ure yella. LEM    [sigh]  You're lucky ain't no one about but us.  Otherwise, I wouldn't dignify none of that with an answer. GRISHAM    You kilt me! LEM    We had it out, fair and square.  I never shot no one in-- [breaks off, a bit choked up]  I never din't kill any one not a-gunning fer me.  Not on purpose. SOUND    LAST BIT OF TACKING UP GRISHAM    Are you saying I was asking fer it? LEM    I seem to recall you a-calling me out in the middle of a fairish game of cards.  Yellin blue bloody murder that I should step out and face you. GRISHAM    Well, yeah, but I was drunk. LEM    I din't do THAT to you neither.  You called me out, without no good reason agin me. GRISHAM    [losing some of his bluster] I fancied making a name for myself. SOUND    LEM GETS INTO THE SADDLE LEM    By shooting the Kid?  You ain't the first. GRISHAM    But you still kilt me. LEM    And I won't never forget none of it, but you got what you asked for, and not a jot more.  Blame providence if you cain't blame yerself, but don't put this guilt on me.  Hee-yaw! SOUND    RIDES OFF 8_DISTRACTION FANSHAW     Lisette? LISETTE    There you are!  Just like a naughty boy, running off to filthy places to get away. FANSHAW    So sorry.  Didn't have much choice.  My friend is quite fascinated by... hogs. LISETTE    Did you make a clean breast of it?  Or just warn him not to believe a thing I say?  FANSHAW    You don't understand what you're threatening to do - you never did.  LISETTE    So bothered over trifles!  How much people change! FANSHAW    Ruining someone's life never meant anything to you!  Do you recall poor Selfridge? LISETTE    Carmela?  Served her right.  FANSHAW    She threw herself off a bridge! LISETTE    She also let herself be compromised!  I didn't put her in the family way, and she was the one lying and hiding-- FANSHAW    Are you trying to imply that you are somehow in the right?  A champion of truth? LISETTE    Shall I point out what it is you are doing that flies in the face of nature? FANSHAW    History is replete with-- LISETTE    Oh, spare me.  Next you'll be quoting Shakespeare. FANSHAW    Very well.  I shan't try and justify myself, but I will point out that whatever I am doing, it cannot be changed.  Being dead, there's not much one can do about such trifles. LISETTE    Then why should it be such a catastrophe were I to tell? FANSHAW    [beat] You've never had a real friend, only people who fawned on you in order that you would not reveal their shortcomings.  LISETTE    [outraged] I--?  You--! FANSHAW    Kindly allow me to finish.  There is a certain camaraderie among men that simply does not - cannot - occur once a woman is involved.  Once you put your nose in, I fear it would never be quite the same. LISETTE    No doubt.  I'll just go and find your friend now, shall I? FANSHAW    [strange gasp, ending on a laugh]  No, but I think I shall. SOUND    FANSHAW LEAVING NOISE CLOSING         Auld Lang Syne [DeK4] EPISODE 2 1_MOSEYING AMB    OPEN COUNTRYSIDE, nighttime SOUND    HORSES WALKING LEM    I still cain't reckon how he got so far from where he-- I-- where we had it out. FANSHAW    How odd.  Have you ever encountered other ghosts who could travel? LEM    Present comp'ny only. FANSHAW    And we know the how and why of that.  Perhaps this fellow has a similar... arrangement? LEM    How?  And who with?  Ain't no one would carry that ugly cuss a dog's walk, let alone some hundred miles. FANSHAW    Well, every one of we "spirits" seems to be a bit different. LEM    Like your lady friend back there? FANSHAW    [sigh] From her current appearance and [disapproving] "costume", she had fallen on ‑ahem- hard times indeed.  Possibly drifted west - whilst alive - in hopes of making something better for herself.  LEM    Lot of people can say that, out this way. FANSHAW    [a bit snotty] Frankly I'm not surprised at her misfortune.  When you alienate all those around you, no one will step in to help if things take a turn for the worse. LEM    Cain't say I ain't never been that fella. FANSHAW    [chagrined] Oh.  MUSIC     FOR FLASHBACK NOTE    Lem is younger, more cocky, more superior in the falshback - need to really show who he used to be 2_THE OLD KID AMB    SALOON LEM    Gimme two. SOUND    CARDS LEM    [pleased noise]  I'll see you and raise-- SOUND    CROWD HUSHES GRISHAM    [snarling declaration] I hear tell the Deadeye Kid's here in town? LEM    [ignoring him, smug] Raise ten. DEALER    [shaky] Uh, Kid? GRISHAM    Which one o' y'all's sposed to be this weasel? LEM    Your call. PLAYER1    [shaky] Um...  I fold. LEM    [chuckles] PATRON1    How can he--? Patron2    Shh! SOUND    HEAVY SPURRED BOOTS CROSS FLOOR, PEOPLE SCUTTLE OUT OF WAY GRISHAM    [heavy menace]  You the deadeye kid? LEM    [offhanded] I'm the man playing a nice civil hand of cards.  Mebbe you can hold your hosses there, whistle stomper. GRISHAM    Either you come out and face me now, or I swear'n I'm gonna shoot you where you sit. SOUND    CHAIRS SCOOTING OUT, PEOPLE LEAVING TABLE LEM    [long dramatic sigh]  Now that sounds a mite like a threat. PLAYER1    [muttered] Uh, yeah.  I'm done.  Fergot my wife wants me home. GRISHAM    Are you coming, or am I shooting? LEM    If everyone's takin' leg, I guess I win by forfeit? DEALER    Um, I don't think anyone's gonna argue you on that. GRISHAM    You turn around now and face me, you yellow bellied dog! SOUND    MONEY BEING SHOVED TOGETHER LEM    Give the frog a chance to jump, knuckles.  Cain't just leave all this layin around. SOUND    G's GUN DRAWN AND COCKED GRISHAM    Now! LEM    [to dealer, cocky] You'll look after this til I get back? DEALER    Uh... certainly. GRISHAM    I'll do it!  I will! SOUND    CHAIR SLOWLY MOVES, LEM'S SPUR-STEPS, STANDS LEM    Rightchere in front of all these good folks?  And leave the dealer to clean up the mess?  [tsks]  Let's at least be civilized and take this on outside. 3_EASIER MUSIC    BACK TO NOW SOUND    HORSES WALKING FANSHAW    Seems as if it would be a great deal easier. LEM    Whazzat? FANSHAW    Shooting someone in the back. LEM    And killin a chicken's easier than takin down a buffalo, but ain't a thing to swell over.  Ain't no pride in the easy way.  FANSHAW    Backshooting would gain you notoriety just as quickly. LEM    It's all about how folks look at you... and how they see you. MUSIC    BACK TO FLASHBACK 4_WARMUP GRISHAM    Are you stepping? LEM    What flavor of tarantula juice got you fit to wake snakes?  Milk?  [insulting that he can't hold his liquor] GRISHAM    [furious noise]  I got a pill to run you on, and I'm gonna chew back every moment of it. LEM    [to the crowd] Righchere's a rumbustious fellow for you.  SOUND    DRINKS DOWN HIS LIQUOR, SLAMS IT DOWN LEM    Barkeep?  Have me a shot of top mark waitin. SOUND    WALKS OUT, SLOWLY GRISHAM    You look at me while I'm a talking to you! LEM    [walking out] You say somethin' more wheat than chaff, mebbe I will. 5_RATTLING FANSHAW    Were you trying to upset his equilibrium? LEM    What's that when it's at home? FANSHAW    uh - Throw him off - make him upset and more likely to make mistakes. LEM    Rattlin.  Yup.  There's as much head as hand in a proper showdown.  Not that this was one o' them. FANSHAW    Why not?  He called you out. LEM    He was halfway round on rotgut.  Not a nugget's chance agin me.  Even if he had all his [careful] equilibriums about him. FANSHAW    But you stepped out with him?  Even knowing he had no chance? LEM    A'course.  He wouldn't take no.  Drunk fellers who ain't gettin their way are as likely to shoot just about anyone.  I reckoned I was a-helpin, putting him down. FANSHAW    [a bit touchy] And you couldn't simply injure him or knock him out - he had to die? LEM    Ain't no place for fine feelins when there's a man with a gun a-facin you.  And ain't no time to aim all purty and shoot him just so.  You hit hard and put him down, cause if you don't, he'll do it to you.  That's the part you cain't get away from - one or t'other's likely for boot hill, and you GOTTA face it that way. 6_SHOWDOWN MUSIC    BACK TO FLASHBACK SOUND    OUTSIDE NOW GRISHAM    You ready? LEM    Why trouble yerself to call me out anyhow?  I kill someone yer riled over? GRISHAM    [duh] Yer the Deadeye Kid! LEM    [duh] Yep.  [beat] That's your sole entire reason?  You wanna walk in my boots? GRISHAM    No faster way to make a name, than laying out a name. SOUND    THEY MOVE TO EITHER SIDE OF THE SOUNDSCAPE SOUND    GUN BEING CHECKED, LEM LEM    And o'course it gots to be a callout.  [digsut, sarcasm] No one wants to be the next Robert Ford.  [man who backshot his friend Jesse James] GRISHAM    Come on!  Kick it up, Deadeye!  Less'n yer yellow! SOUND    LEM - DIRT PATTERS - checking the wind] LEM    [maddenginly cool] Oh.  I'm ripe and ready to drop. SOUND    TENSION NOISE, CROWD NOISE, THEN SUDDEN FLURRY OF GUNFIGHT. SOUND    G - BODY DROP SOUND    LEM - GUN INTO HOLSTER.  A MOMENT.  FEET WALK BACK UP INTO SALOON 7_ENJOY MUSIC    BACK TO NOW FANSHAW     [relenting a bit] I suppose it's very like being in battle - not a good place to have consideration for the other fellow. LEM    Have to ice over that pond.  Hard and cold.  Hard and cold. FANSHAW    I- I do apologize for sounding disapproving.  I want to assure you, it's the process that... well... seems so very pointless. LEM    [a litle lighter] Men'll be men. FANSHAW    But men can behave in a civilized manner!  Look at we Brits. LEM    [grunt - half laugh half dismissive] FANSHAW    Do you enjoy it? LEM    [very mixed feelings] Enjoy? FANSHAW    Throughout history there have been men who reveled in killing, in battle. LEM    Hmmm.  [musing] There's a fire that burns you at that moment, like bugs in the skin. LEM    S'like the best whiskey and the moment you almost fall off a cliff, and being with the love of your life, all at the same damn time.  FANSHAW    The thrill of danger? LEM    That, but even more so.  If'n you just want danger, you go climbin cliffs or breakin broncs.  This is starin into the eyes of death - death right there and then and ain't no "maybe so" about it.  Kill or be killed.  [beat, then not quite truthful]  Enjoy?  No.  FANSHAW    Sometimes a person's strength is in making the right choice, even when it might pain them to do so. LEM    I reckon. 8_WINNER MUSIC    FLASH BACK AMB    INSIDE SALOON, HUSHED SOUND    GUNSHOT, OUTSIDE WOMAN    [gasps] SOUND    [CROWD NOISE, OUTSIDE], THEN OMINOUS BOOTS ON WOOD, SALOON DOOR OPENS SOUND    PIANO PLAYS, CHATTER BEGINS AGAIN LEM    [voiceover]  there's also this way people have of lookin at you - like yer the best.  Used be I din't see the fear beneath it. SOUND    BOTTLE POURS, GLASS SET DOWN BARTENDER    Your shot, Mister. LEM    [drinks big, then bragging] My second shot in two minutes! SOUND    Forced laughter from the crowd, warps out a bit. 9_HUNKER MUSIC    BACK TO NOW LEM    [brisk] It's coming down dusk.  Need to find a place to hunker fer the night. FANSHAW    I shall keep an eye out for-- [dread] oh! LEM    Whazzat? FANSHAW    Look - the horizon! LEM    Signal fires, and a lot of em.  Damn. FANSHAW    They're a little far off to get a better look at.  We shall... have to return, shan't we? LEM    Someone's gotta warn the town.  Whether it's injuns or sumpin else, looks like an ambush on the march. FANSHAW    [weakly] Surely the garrison maintains lookouts? LEM    Not so much that I saw.  They're purt near closed up shop, from the looks back there.  FANSHAW    [heavy sigh]  Right, then.  SOUND    DISMOUNT, SHIFTING A FEW THINGS FROM HORSE TO HORSE LEM    You worried about your lady friend? FANSHAW    She's neither a lady nor a friend.  But whatever she might have to say will matter to none but me.  [change of tone]  We are a couple of hours out. LEM    Horses ain't fresh, but I weren't pushin.  We can get back before them out there can get into spittin distance. SOUND    MOUNT OTHER HORSE FANSHAW    [resigned but determined] Shall we? MUSIC     Auld Lang Syne [DeK4] EPISODE 3 1_WONT SPOOK SOUND    READYING FOR BATTLE LEM    If'n you got a fresh horse, I kin go scout some fer you. COMMANDER    You've done enough already, stranger.  Ain't even your fight. LEM    I know where they're at, and I got some idea of where they're likely to be by the time I get back there.  Give me one horse ain't like to spook, and I'll-- COMMANDER    I'll have to send a man along with you. LEM    That's fine.  Make sure he ain't like to spook neither. 2_LISETTE SOUND    [above scene plays out in the background] LISETTE    And here I thought you had run away and left me all alone.  FANSHAW    [sigh] Why don't we step outside to have this conversation? LISETTE    No.  I like seeing what the "menfolk" are up to.  [frustrated noise] What I wouldn't give to be able to leave this rattletrap town.  I'm still not sure how you did that.  Or why you came back. FANSHAW    We had to warn the garrison. LISETTE    Always full of suprises, aren't you - and yet still sanctimonious.  Fanshaw, dear old chum.  Are you not afraid of what I might say? FANSHAW    Any concern you might cause me is negligible when weighed against the potential danger to others. LISETTE    [surprised laugh]  Hah!  All you superior little snobs, with your noses in the air!  And deep down, all just as afraid as the rest of us. FANSHAW    I've no idea what you're talking about, and I don't care to find out.  Whatever you plan to do, just get on with it.  We have a job to do. LISETTE    Wait! FANSHAW    [long sigh]  Yes? LISETTE    Shall I wish you "good luck"? FANSHAW    I doubt I shall need any.  But I thank you for the sentiment, Miss Carmichael, however grudgingly bestowed. 3_JULIET FLASHBACK JULIET    Romeo, doff thy name, And for that name which is no part of thee Take all myself. FANSHAW    I take thee at thy word: Call me but love, and I'll be new baptized; Henceforth I never will be Romeo. JULIET     What man art thou that thus bescreen'd in night So stumblest on my counsel? ROMEO     By a name I know not how to tell thee who I am: My name, dear saint, is hateful to myself-- SOUND    POUNDING LISETTE    Oh heavens!  Not again! MAN    [calling from off] Sorry. SOUND    POUNDING STOPS LISETTE    Try that scene again from the top.  Romeo? FANSHAW    [sigh] Yes? LISETTE    Couldn't you try to be a bit more ... masculine? JULIET    Oh, I like "him".  So terribly byronic. FANSHAW    I'll see what I can do. 4_SCOTTY SOUND    PACKING A HORSE SCOTTY    Sir? LEM    Yeah? SCOTTY    Private Scott.  Commander Bennington told me to report to you. LEM    [sigh] Right.  You ever shot that for real? SCOTTY    O'course. LEM    Against a person? SCOTTY    Well, against animals. LEM    Right. GRISHAM    Not everyone can be you. LEM    [sighs] SCOTTY    Don't you worry!  I ain't afraid! GRISHAM    This pullet ain't even got pinfeathers yet.  You get him killed, you gonna adda a notch fer him too? LEM    You got a horse, Scott? SCOTTY    Everyone calls me Scotty. GRISHAM    Later, they'll just call him dead. LEM    Scotty.  Right.  You gotta horse? SCOTTY    Over there. GRISHAM    [rueful] My damn horse.  Serving in the army like the rest of the idjets.  LEM    Well, go and get'im. SCOTTY    Right, sir! GRISHAM    Ain't he a little young?  You should oughtta throw him back. LEM    I'm stuck with him.  And I never kept notches. GRISHAM    That ain't what I heered. LEM    Lot o' tales goin round - ain't a one of 'em naught but sagebrush smoke. GRISHAM    And the tale 'bout how you kilt me? LEM    [sharp intake] I don't brag on none o' that no more. GRISHAM    So, you think I like being plumb forgot? LEM    If I thought tellin about it would ease you on to the next thing, you think I wouldn't? SCOTTY    Tell me about what?  Injuns?  [certain] I know all about them. LEM    [sigh] 5_SCOUTING AMB    CRICKETS SOUND    HORSES FANSHAW    They're still out of range.  I can just barely catch snippets of sound at my farthest reach, but I'm fairly certain it is not Indians. LEM    Hmm? FANSHAW    I can make out English and Spanish.  Are we anywhere near the Mexico territories? LEM    [quiet] Ain't impossible.  Deserters, mebbe. SCOTTY    What ain't impossible? LEM    We're gettin close.  Best to go on foot.  SCOTTY    These here horses are my responsibility! LEM    Best you stay and watch'em, then.  FANSHAW    Don't forget the satchel. SOUND    CREAK LEM    Like I'd forget that. SCOTTY    I wouldna gone through your kit or nothin!  I ain't no finger monkey. FANSHAW    [laughs]  I ne'er heard that one before. SOUND    REMOVING SPURS LEM    Ain't that I don't trust you, son, just might need me some things.  If I was you, I'd take them horses up yonder - forge as far into the high rough as you can, but keep where you can see if I come tearin out of there.  You reckon? SCOTTY    How'll you find us? LEM    I'll find you.  Just be ready.  And don't shoot me. SOUND    QUIET FEET ON DIRT 6_JULIET2 FLASHBACK    echoey hallway LISETTE    [running up] Fanshaw? FANSHAW    Carmichael. LISETTE    [trying to start a fight] We've been reconsidering your costume.  Those leggings are positively scandalous. FANSHAW     [bland] Romeo can hardly appear in bloomers.  Would be rather difficult to climb to the balcony. LISETTE    Perhaps plain trousers, then.  [sly] Though I understand you were quite keen on showing off your legs. FANSHAW    [rueful] There is a great deal to be said for the freedom of movement.  [dismissive] But a costume is a costume.  I certainly shan't make a fuss. LISETTE    [annoyed at not being able to get a rise out of F] Very well. 7_FANSHAW SCOUTS SOUND    SLIGHT RUSTLE OF LEAVES LEM    [very quiet] Close enough? FANSHAW    I'll have a look round.  SOUND    FANSHAW LEAVES GRISHAM    [very loud] You hiding from something? LEM    [reaction noise, quickly stifled] GRISHAM    Ooh!  Scairt you, din't I? LEM    [whispered] Made me jump damn near out my skin. GRISHAM    [smug and evil] Well that's good, then.  Looks like I can get my own back on you. LEM    What all do you want? GRISHAM    Apart from you in a pine box?  I'm hankerin to be alive agin, but that ain't gon happen. LEM    Not likely, nope.  How'd you follow us? GRISHAM    What kind of tenderfoot you take me for that I can't follow my own damn horse? LEM    [half realizing something] Damn. SOUND    FANSHAW COMES BACK FANSHAW    Who the devil is this? GRISHAM    Who the devil are you? LEM    What'd ya find out? FANSHAW    A motley crew, but definitely girding themselves for battle.  GRISHAM    What kinda girlie man are ya?  Highfaluting slicker talk! FANSHAW    [sigh, but determined] They're half mounted already, but I could make out that they're waiting til after midnight, to make certain of finding as many people abed as possible. GRISHAM    Put you in a dress, and I bet everyone'd wanna dance! FANSHAW    We need to get moving. GRISHAM    I think you need a shave, girlie man. SOUND    KNIFE FANSHAW    [finally breaking concentration] God damn you all to hell! SOUND    PUNCH, KNEE TO GROIN LEM    [trying not to laugh] GRISHAM    Oooohhhh. FANSHAW    Marquis of Queensbury be damned.  We need to go. GRISHAM    [different kind of ooooh - like he's falling, or being dragged off] SOUND    SUCK NOISE AND GRISHAM VANISHES LEM    What'd you do to him? FANSHAW    I didn't!  I couldn't-- I... haven't the faintest idea?  8_JULIET3 SOUND    TAP ON DOOR LISETTE    Fanshaw? FANSHAW    Come in. LISETTE    I've brought you your hat-- whatever are you doing? FANSHAW    I was considering what I might do with my hair.  To create the right ilusion. LISETTE    That is what the HAT is for. FANSHAW    I prefer not.  It looks like an ottoman on my head.  LISETTE    And Romeo does not wear a moustache. FANSHAW    Whyever not? LISETTE     On the stage, moustaches are only for villains and army colonels! FANSHAW    [considering] I might just cut my hair. LISETTE    That is the final straw!  Miss Peabody said this would happen. FANSHAW    What? LISETTE    That you would take too many liberties.  You are out. FANSHAW    Out? LISETTE    [snidely satisfied] You are no longer a member of this production. 9_DEAD SCOTT SOUND    QUIET BOOTSTEPS LEM    [very quiet] Scotty? FANSHAW    [off a bit] Oh, good god. LEM    Do I need to keep quiet? FANSHAW    I don't see anyone.  Anyone... hostile. SOUND    QUICK, NOISIER FOOTSTEPS SCOTTY    [as if waking up] Oooh! LEM    What is--  [tragic regret] Ohh. SCOTTY    They come in out of nowheres! FANSHAW    I don't doubt it. SCOTTY    And they took the damn horses, Mister Roberts! FANSHAW    I think that just might explain-- SCOTTY    And who in blue blazes is this feller? LEM    [heavy sigh]  Ayup. CLOSING       Auld Lang Syne [DeK4] EPISODE 4 1_DROP EVERYTHING SOUND    UNBUCKLING, BAG DOWN, ETC. LEM    Good thing I had that with me.   Though now I gotta leave it. SOUND    SATCHEL DOWN FANSHAW    Of course. SCOTTY    I'm really sorry about this, sir. LEM    I doubt me you coulda stopped it, son.  And you been punished enough. SCOTTY    What do you mean?  They musta knocked me out, but I don't even feel it. FANSHAW    I'll deal with him. LEM    I'll leave you to it.  SCOTTY    What are you doing? LEM    Gonna haveta hoof it back to town - cain't take naught but my guns.  You gon' be all right? SOUND    RUSTLE OF BUSHES FANSHAW    Well, we won't be able to do much to stop them if they came across your bag, but that looks like a good hiding place.  Especially in the dark. SCOTTY    Can't do anything?  What are you talking about?  FANSHAW    Hush, Scotty.  Let Lem get moving and we'll have a good long talk. SOUND    BOOTS RUN OFF 2_REBEL CAMP SOUND    MANY HORSES, MEN CHATTER, etc. SOUND    GRISHAM STUMBLES IN GRISHAM    Where the hell?   [Thunder?]!  Goddam rustlers!  SOUND    MEN WALK BY LEADER    Two horses, two saddles.  I don't like it. SECOND    Guerrero had the kid down before we realized.  But if there's another scout, he won't be able to get anywhere - at least not soon enough.   LEADER    [thinks, then definite] We must move up the charge. SECOND    We're nearly ready.  3_NO HEAVEN SCOTTY    [trying not to cry] So that's IT?  I mean this is it?  No nothing left?  No heaven? FANSHAW    There are so many things even I don't understand.  I wish I could offer you more in the way of consolation. SCOTTY    But don't no one ever pass along? FANSHAW    Most do.  And I'm even aware of those who spend some time like this, and then pass on, though there's no easy answer for how or why it happens. SCOTTY    And I won't never even get to be with a woman. FANSHAW    [uncomfortable] Oh, dear.  That is a shame. SCOTTY    What's it like? FANSHAW    [dread] What is ... what... like? SCOTTY     Being with a woman? FANSHAW    Ohhh.... 4_RUNNING LEM    [heavy but measured breathing] SOUND    RUNNING FOOTSTEPS - TROT, NOT DASH LEM    [muttered] Dammit.  Leastways there's a good moon. 4A_FLASHBACK MUSIC    FLASHBACK SOUND    NIGHT, DOGS, CHICKENS - ALARUMS SOUND    ANGRY MOB, OFF ROBERTS    [yelling, off]  Leastways, there's a good moon!  PIEDMONT    [up close, heavy breathing, trying to be quiet] ROBERTS    [off, yelling]  Spread out!  Don't let that traitor get away!  Where's that rope? PIEDMONT    [gasp, then trying to breathe even quieter] SOUND    VERY SLOW CREAK, SHUTTING DOOR ON THE NOISE. YOUNG LEM    [about 12] Whatchoo doin', mister? PIEDMONT    [terrible gasp, smothers a scream] 6_EXPERIENCE FANSHAW    My experience is not ... vast, but I have had one or two ... romantic encounters. SCOTTY    Well, you're a man of the world, ain't you?  You been all over the place! FANSHAW    Oh dear.  [up]  I've spent most of my life deep in study.  I suppose I've always felt there would be time - later - to settle down to a family and all.  SCOTTY    Me too.  Not the studying, but the ... "later". FANSHAW    [after a moment]  Women are.... soft. SCOTTY    [eager] Yeah? FANSHAW    And round.  In places where men aren't. SCOTTY    But they do got legs, don't they? FANSHAW    [flabbergasted]  What? SCOTTY    You never don't see none of them out of skirts!  Who knows what they got under there? FANSHAW    Well, that I can answer - generally, women are made the same as men.  Arms, legs, heads - well, one head.  You understand. SCOTTY     [avid] And bosoms. FANSHAW    Yes.  Yes, that. 7_VARMINT SOUND    RUNNING, LEM'S HEAVY BREATHING UNDER THIS? PIEDMONT    Shh!  Don't let anyone know I am here. YOUNG LEM    You the varmint they's looking fer? PIEDMONT    There is no call to use such language, boy.  Do you know this area? YOUNG LEM    I should hope I do!  My pa's Mr. Jorgenson's top man. PIEDMONT    [sarcastic] So he's the one leading the search. YOUNG LEM    [pride] Yup. SOUND    OUTSIDE, THE ROW GETS CLOSER ROBERTS    [outside]  Get him, Honeysuckle, there's a good bitch! YOUNG LEM    [pride and fear] That's my pa! PIEDMONT    But you're not going to tell him I am in here? YOUNG LEM    I don't fancy getting whupped.  I ain't sposed to be in the barn at night.  8_YOUNG LOVE FANSHAW    I was in love.  When I was very young. SCOTTY    Was she really purtty? FANSHAW    [sigh] I thought the sun rose and set with my beloved's face.  Have you ever seen hair so fine and blonde that your fingers desperately wanted to touch it? SCOTTY    You talk so flowery, I bet all the girls jest love you! FANSHAW    Our parents objected.  They said we were too young, and I was packed off to school. SCOTTY    What didja do? FANSHAW    I waited.  I nursed my deep love, and remained constant, like patience on a rock. SCOTTY    You waited on a rock? FANSHAW    I waited at school.  I was determined that one day, when we were old enough that no one could object, I would return and we would be joined forever. SCOTTY    What happened? FANSHAW    I made my way to the object of my affection and...discovered... SCOTTY    Yes? FANSHAW    That I was the only one who had bothered to wait. SCOTTY    She'd gone and -- FANSHAW    My "dearest love" had married another.  Had, and I quote "almost forgotten about that summer." SCOTTY    Damn!  Women are right terrible. FANSHAW    Don't fault women, boy.  There are quite as many constant and sweet-natured females as there are fickle and wicked men.  We all deserve a "heaping helping" of the blame. 8_DISCOVERED SOUND    UNDER - LEM WALKING NOW, STILL BREATHING HARD, PACING HIMSELF YOUNG LEM    They're fixing to hang you? PIEDMONT    Yes. YOUNG LEM    Why?  What for? PIEDMONT    We were on opposite sides in a fight. YOUNG LEM    You mean the war?  Hmph.  My pa says why keep slaves when you can hire men for even cheaper and don't have to sell them if'n they don't do the job right. PIEDMONT    [incensed] You think your pa knows so much about everything, don't you? YOUNG LEM    [a bit afraid] Well, he knows where you are. SOUND    DOOR SLAMS OPEN ROBERTS    There he is! MAN    Get him! PIEDMONT    [scream] SOUND    SCUFFLE, KNIFE DRAWN YOUNG LEM    [gasp, cut off by hand] PIEDMONT    I'll kill your boy, just see if I won't! 10_STUCK SCOTTY    You said you know about some folks what was like this for a time and then moved along? FANSHAW    Yes.  We've encountered one or two. SCOTTY    How'd it work? FANSHAW    Work? SCOTTY    I mean, I don't wanna be stuck out here, middle o' nowhere, all by my lonesome, forever! FANSHAW    I don't know that I have an answer for you.  I've only been - like this - for a... a couple of years, myself, and haven't seen a fraction of what Lem has. SCOTTY    Years?  You been dead for years and ain't moved on? FANSHAW    We... help people.  And I get to see the world - [half pleased, half rueful] hmph... in perfect safety.  11_SHOT SOUND    LEM RUNNING AGAIN PIEDMONT    [panicky, but trying to be placating] I am going to have to ask you to take a step back, sir!  My hand could slip a fraction of an inch, and that's all it would take.   YOUNG LEM    [gasp]  Pa? SOUND    GUNSHOT SOUND    TWO BODY DROPS ROBERTS    [cold] You understand we cain't leave that kind of critter running loose, don't you? 12_BUSINESS FANSHAW    Some folks stay because they have unfinished business, and once the business is completed, they are able pass on.  SCOTTY    Business?  I ain't never been in business. FANSHAW    No, no.  For instance, one young man was able to move along once his murderer was uncovered and hung. SCOTTY    Oh.  I spose that could happen. FANSHAW    Or perhaps when the horses have been recovered, since that was your task at the time of your death. SCOTTY    [very down] Oh, right. FANSHAW    [cheering]  Or, when the town has been warned.  That could very well have been at the forefront of your thoughts. SCOTTY    [wailing] Oh no!  FANSHAW    Whatever is the matter? SCOTTY    What if it's ladies? FANSHAW    [careful] What if what is "ladies"? SCOTTY    What if I can't never pass on til I been with a lady? FANSHAW    [cold, practical] That would be most extremely awkward.  Worry about that once we find out if you can get back to town or not. 13_WHUPPING YOUNG LEM    [sniffles a bit] ROBERTS    You crying, boy? YOUNG LEM    [stifling it] No sir. ROBERTS    Good.  Now run and let Mrs. Roberts have a look at that scratch. SOUND    A COUPLE OF STEPS, THEN TURN YOUNG LEM    [blank] You shot him dead. ROBERTS    Yup. YOUNG LEM    In the dark, and on the draw, and din't even hit me. ROBERTS    Yup.  [beat]  You asking something? YOUNG LEM    What if he'd'a kilt me?  Or what if you did? ROBERTS    [long pause]  Life's hard, boy.  You cain't let folks get away with wrongdoing, no matter who they got a grip on. YOUNG LEM    Oh. SOUND    BARN DOOR SWINGS OPEN, COUPLE OF STEPS ROBERTS    Lem?  YOUNG LEM    [almost a gasp] Yessir? ROBERTS    [casual] Don't think I'm not gon' whale you for being in the barn by night, neither. [neeether] YOUNG LEM    [quiet, resentful] Yes, sir. 14_CRICKET SCOTTY    It ain't fair!  I'm being punished and I ain't never even done nothing! FANSHAW    Life is not fair.  Death even less so.  SCOTTY    I-- FANSHAW    [cutting him off] Still, I expect there must be some sort of answer.  SCOTTY    Answer? FANSHAW    Very likely, when they take your body back to town, you will accompany it, and there will find what you need to do to pass on. SCOTTY    What if they don't take it - me back? FANSHAW    Lem will see that they do. SCOTTY    Oh.  And what about you, Mister Fanshaw? FANSHAW    What about me? SCOTTY    Don't you get to pass on too? FANSHAW    Oh.  But you see Scotty, I have no wish to. SCOTTY    No?  Why? FANSHAW    I still have many things to see.  And I feel like I'm doing good here.  There's a story I read some time back, a sort of fable, about a puppet that comes to life. SCOTTY    That's crazy talk. FANSHAW    That's why it's a story.  In the tale, a cricket is asked to stay with him and make sure he does the right things. SCOTTY    All right.  Wait, a cricket, like a bug? FANSHAW    A talking bug, but yes, a bug.  SCOTTY    That's just plumb crazy. FANSHAW    True.  [gasp]  Look at the horizon!  I think they are on the move! SCOTTY    Is there something we can do? FANSHAW    This is one of those times I truly wish there was. CLOSING     Auld Lang Syne [DeK4] EPISODE 5 1_COMING SOUND    IN TOWN - HORSES, MEN, READYING FOR BATTLE COMMANDER    [commands]  We need more shot at the western boundary!  Get someone over there! SOLDIER    Yessir! SOUND    FEET RUN OFF SHARPLY SOUND    DISTANT APPROACH OF PAINED, SLOW RUNNING SOLDIER2    Sir!  Someone's coming!  On foot! COMMANDER    On foot?  SENTRY    [off] Halt! LEM    [breathless, with long gasps] I can't... If I stop...  I'm gon fall down...  And I gotta get to...  The commander. SENTRY    Stop, I say! COMMANDER    Let him on through. LEM    They're a-movin.  Deserters 'n comancheros.  Have guns.  COMMANDER    Why are you-- LEM    Kilt Scotty.  Took the horses.  Look sharp. Ungh! SOUND    FALLS DOWN COMMANDER    Are you all right?  [up] Someone get Doc! LEM    I'll be [coughing fit] fine. Jest let me lie till the shakin goes off. 2_SPOOK HORSES SCOTTY    We got to do something! FANSHAW    And just what do you have in mind?  I've already done all I can, scouting them for Lem.  By the time they come close enough for us to get a look at, they will be moving fast enough that we shall hardly have time to observe. SCOTTY    Can't we spook the horses or nothing?  That's what haints do, isn't it? FANSHAW    I was with you the entire trip out from town.  Did the horses seem spooked to you? SCOTTY    [really down] No. FANSHAW    If Lem makes it back in time, there are ways we can help him.  Otherwise, we are merely spectators at this show. 3_TONIC DOC    Can you get yourself around this? LEM    [still hoarse, puffing] Tonic? DOC    [shrug] Mostly brandy.  Medicinal. LEM    [rusty chuckle] Thanks, doc. [drinks] LISETTE     Oh, goodness.  I believe you are Fanshaw's dear friend.  LEM    [coughs] DOC    Din't say it was GOOD brandy. LEM    [hawks, spits, clear throat]  Hits the spot.  LISETTE    [calculating] And not able to walk away.  [cruel chuckle] How perfectly jolly. DOC     The commander's gone off to rally the men, but they're like to need you to guide them.  You up fer it? LEM    Will be... shortly.  Any chance of a mite to eat?  It's been a powerful long night, and not looking to roll up any time soon. 4_DO SOMETHING SCOTTY    He's the only one what can hear us? FANSHAW    We've come across... others.  But they are very rare. SCOTTY    [yelling] I want to DO something!  I want to help! FANSHAW    There is no need to make such a ... a ruckus!  I am in precisely the same predicament! SCOTTY    But I-- GRISHAM    [off]  Will you two shut up?  They're trying to sneak up on your position! FANSHAW    Oh dear.  Come along. SCOTTY    Where? FANSHAW    To do the only productive thing - gather as much information as possible. 5_SADDLED SOUND    MEN READY TO GO SOUND    MOUNT UP LEM    [sigh of relief, but also soreness]  COMMANDER    You doing all right, there, feller? LEM    Better saddle than boots.  I fair run the soles offa these. COMMANDER     Morning comes, we'll stand you a new set.  Least we can do.  Let's go. SOUND    HORSES MOVE OUT LEM    Commander? COMMANDER    Hmm? LEM    Rather than meet them headlong, since ain't no way to know how far they come, might could I suggest a defensive position? COMMANDER    This town is not a good place for that.  Too spread out.  And there's no way to get everyone into the fort, not without leaving near everything they own ripe for the picking. LEM    Nah - I'm a-thinkin just this side of the bridge, right about halfway out.  Bridge and creek - they ain't much, but if we can catch them this side of it, put their backs to water, and use the treeline for cover-- COMMANDER    I like the way you think, hombre.  [up] Company!  [attention!] 6_FIGHT GRISHAM    Ain't no way you're taking me by surprise again, you-- ow! SOUND    PUNCH FANSHAW    [casual] shut up. SCOTTY    That was a good'un! But what if he lands one on you - he's awful big! FANSHAW    Leave him!  [quiet, moving away]  We can't actually be hurt.  But not everyone realizes that, and many feel the pain, even when there is no reason to.  I learned that the hard way. GRISHAM    [off] I'm a-gonna get you! FANSHAW    Blast!  He may not be able to harm me, but he can annoy and distract, and make it difficult to get anything constructive done. SCOTTY    Maybe - maybe I could keep him from bothering you? FANSHAW    How? SCOTTY     Well, I been plumb angry since I got kilt, and my momma says sometimes the best way to get over anger, if you don't got no pie, is to-- GRISHAM    Kill you, you girly man! SCOTTY    [grunt as he punches him] GRISHAM    oof! SCOTTY    Better'n pie!  You go on, Mr. Fanshaw, and do what you gotta. FANSHAW    Good lad. 7_GRANDKIDS LEM    [muttered] Fanshaw?  Damn.  Too far out.  COMMANDER    What's the terrain like beyond the bridge? LEM    Nothing much to speak of.  Some hills.  A ridge off to the north where first we saw them.  No place fer them to make a stand tween here and there, though. COMMANDER    Good.  Cain't let this sort of thing go.  LEM    Course not.  COMMANDER    You got the extra shot you needed, did you? LEM    Ayup.  Had to leave all o' mine cached back with Scotty. COMMANDER    You're sure he's ... dead? LEM    I'm afraid I do know dead when I see it. COMMANDER    [sad] That's too bad. LEM    Kin? COMMANDER    Nephew.  LEM    [trying to ease] He went down fightin. COMMANDER    That don't give my sister grandbabies. LEM    [symp] Nope, it shore don't. 8_PIRATES SOUND    MUCH CREEPING FANSHAW    Looks like about three score.  Hardly a fair fight, sneaking up on a defenseless town at night.  Like pirates. 8A_FLASHBACK MUSIC    FLASHBACK AMB    BRIGHT SUNNY DAY NANNY    Come along in now, bunny bug. YOUNG CLARA    Stop calling me that, nanny!  I'm very nearly 10 years old. NANNY    You'll always be my little bunny bug.  Oh!  Whatever is that tea towel doing on your head?  [gasp of fear]  Did you hurt yourself?  Show nanny! YOUNG CLARA    No!  I am a pirate. NANNY    Do not be so silly.  There are no pirates. YOUNG CLARA    Of course there are.  They are in books, so they must be real. NANNY    Besides, you cannot be a pirate. YOUNG CLARA    Well not just NOW.  When I am bigger, I shall be able to do whatever I want. 9_WASPS COMMANDER    Did you see how big a force they had? LEM    Not to count them, but it was bigger'n I thought.  At least 30, probably more. COMMANDER    [skeptical] Really? LEM    They had a dozen cookin fires goin, and you don't make a fire to feed a lone fellow. COMMANDER    [considers, then agrees] No, you don't.  LEM    'Sides, better to expect a whole hive of wasps than be surprised by one too many. COMMANDER    [chuckles]  Sound thinking.  [up]  Lieutenant! 10_BAG SOUND    STILL MUCH MOVEMENT SOUND    SCOTTY AND GRISHAM, FIGHTING SCOTTY    [pleased] You tired yet, feller?  I ain't even blowed! GRISHAM    [tired] You little whippersnapper!  Think you can pull a man's whiskers and walk away! FANSHAW    [muttered] There are some distinct benefits to being dead.  More than he will ever know.  [gasp] No. RUFFIAN1    Hey!  I found something! SOUND    CREAK OF LEATHER - LEM'S GEAR FANSHAW    [worried] Damn!  Lem's bag! RUFFIAN2    What? SECOND    Silence! RUFFIAN2    [whispered] bring it - we'll split it later! RUFFIAN1    Split it?  Nonsense!  It's mine, whatever it is! SECOND    [whispered] Keep moving! 11_SCOUT AHEAD COMMANDER    [ordering, but hushed] Take your men and circle round up thataway.  Get to high ground and cut off retreat. BOB    Yessir! LEM    If you don't mind, sir, I'us thinkin I might scout on up ahead a mite.  COMMANDER    You aren't even being paid to be part of this, fellow, why do you keep risking yourself? LEM    [shrug] Someone's gotta.  'sides I had to leave my kit behind, and wanna get it if I can before someone else lays hands on it. COMMANDER    Valuables? LEM    Nothin worth money, but some things cain't be replaced. COMMANDER    [teasing a bit] Go on then, but if you see them coming, you'll come back and tell us first, eh? LEM    [chuckle] I reckon. 12_LEAD ROPE SCOTTY    Mister Fanshaw!  That fellow just vanished!  Like he flew away, whilst I was a-hittin on him! FANSHAW    I fear I shall be gone shortly as well. SCOTTY    Why? FANSHAW    I am not sure of his reasons, but I must stay with the bag.  Now that it has been found... SCOTTY    Why?  Keeping an eye on it? FANSHAW    No.  There's something in there - Oh!  It's moving.  Stay with me as long as you can.  SCOTTY    Why can't I--? FANSHAW    Shh!  [very hurried] Picture a rope tied to something, say, to you - your body, over there.  And you are on the other end. SCOTTY    Like a training rope? [ASK PAT] FANSHAW    Basically, yes.  You can go anywhere, within the circle made by that rope. SCOTTY    [figuring it out] So you're ... tied to that bag? FANSHAW    Yes!  [gasp] Bloody thieves! SOUND    FANSHAW SUCKED AWAY 13_BE A BOY YOUNG CLARA    I am going to be a pirate!  I shall sail the seven seas and steal all the gold! NANNY    Stealing is very wicked.  YOUNG CLARA    But you can't be a pirate without stealing!  Then you're just a sailor! NANNY    And young ladies do not become pirates.  Young ladies become mommies. YOUNG CLARA    Or nannies. NANNY    [reassuring] Don't fret yourself, bunny bug.  You shall be a mummy. YOUNG CLARA    I should rather be a nanny.  Mummies are boring.  Nannies have things to do. NANNY    [sigh] Mummies have things to do too. YOUNG CLARA    I don't want to be a mummy, I want to be a pirate!  I want to see the world! NANNY    [stern] There are many thing in this world, Clara Fanshaw, that are only meant for boys. YOUNG CLARA    Then I want to be a boy! END     Auld Lang Syne [DeK4] EPISODE 6 1_READY SOUND    NIGHT, MEN BEING QUIET, HORSES OFF COMMANDER    Yer sure you wanna go on out there, all on your own?? LEM    I'm best on my own, and I don't want another of yer boys on my conscience. COMMANDER    [acknowledging] Scotty. LEM    If I can't see my way to get back and warn you quick enough, I'll shoot off twice-- COMMANDER    [warning] They'll know you're there. LEM    I kin look after myself.  Two shots means it's a-comin, and I spect after that there'ull be plenty more shots to keep y'all busy.  I best get a move on. COMMANDER    One thing. LEM    Yeah? COMMANDER    One of my men swore he'd seen you before. LEM    [down] Oh. COMMANDER    And that you're the Deadeye kid. LEM    I- COMMANDER    [overriding, but clearly lying] I told him not to be so credulous.  Deadeye Kid looks nothing like that man that's about to save our town. LEM    [realizing] Ri-ight. COMMANDER    [serious] Don't make me a liar. LEM    I kin only do my best. SOUND    WALKS AWAY 2_BLACKGUARDS SOUND    COMMOTION, MANY MEN, HORSES, TRAVELING LEADER    [loud whisper] We'll leave the horses near the stream and sneak up. FANSHAW    Blackguards. RUFFIAN2    [whisper] What's in that bag you found anyways? RUFFIAN1    [whisper] Ain't had no time, but it's shore heavy. RUFFIAN2    [whisper]  Heavy is good!  Mebbe it's gold! RUFFIAN1    Well, I still ain't sharing! FANSHAW    Such stimulating conversation.  I wonder how far ahead of these ruffians I can manage to stay.  3_TALLYHO SOUND    STEALTHY MOVING THROUGH UNDERBRUSH, STOPS LEM    Nothin.  [angry hmph] They cain't be too damn far off.  And ridin. FANSHAW    [distant]  Tally-ho!  LEM    [starts to laugh but turns it into a snort] FANSHAW    Halloooooo!  Halloo- [suddenly cut off] LEM    What the devil?  [shrugs, to himself] Well, you can take care of your own damn self. SOUND    RUNNING FEET TAKE OFF 4_STRUGGLE AMB    IN THE ATTACK FORCE GRISHAM     Now I gotcha sorted out! FANSHAW    [muffled noises] SOUND    STRUGGLING GRISHAM    Oh, no you don't!  SOUND    MORE STRUGGLE GRISHAM    I finally figgered out cain't do nothing to hurt me.  Long as I ignore it.  But I can still keep a tight grip on you. FANSHAW    [noise of effort] GRISHAM    [ouch!] Hey!  You bit me!  FANSHAW    Keep ahead of them!!!! GRISHAM    Waitaminute.  [disgusted noise] FANSHAW    [to grisham] Damn you all to--[muffled again] GRISHAM    Stop with all the wiggling, you stupid--  [stunned!] whatthehell? FANSHAW    [noise of effort] SOUND    STRUGGLE, BREAKS FREE GRISHAM    You're a-- ?  FANSHAW    You may be stronger than me, but I am faster. SOUND    FANSHAW LEAVES GRISHAM    what the hell?  A female? 5_SIGNAL COMMANDER    He's been gone a fair piece. SOUND    [DISTANT] TWO GUN SHOTS COMMANDER    [commanding, but quiet]  They're coming! SOUND    [command passes along ranks - GET VOICES] COMMANDER    [a bit superior]  I knew that that fellow was no sort of outlaw.  6_PLAN DOS LEADER    Shots? SECOND    Sir? LEADER    Damn.  Someone has seen.  Get El puerco and his fellows.  Tell them plan dos. SECOND    Plan dos, sir? LEADER    They'll circle south and get behind the town.  We get some children in hand, no one will fight any more. SECOND    Yessir! SOUND    RUNS OFF SCOTTY     [torn] I can't just let them-- [plaintive] but what can I do? 7_BUCKETFULL SOUND    HORSES APPROACHING NOTE - Lem is lying in wait, letting the group go past, and plans to pick them off from behind. FANSHAW    [distant but closer, yelling] Lem!  That dead friend of yours is about - watch out! LEM    [muttered] Damn.  And I don' want to go shootin no good horse jest to lay a varmint like that down. SOUND    HORSES BEGIN TO PASS LEM    [very quietly] 30...?  Nearer fifty.  That's a bucketful of wasps. SOUND    SHOTS!  (where the horses went to) LEM    [muttered to self] hold on.  SOUND    NO MORE HORSES COMING LEM    [muttered] almost... GRISHAM    There you are! LEM    [sharp intake of breath]  That don't work on me twice.  Specially when I been warned. GRISHAM    Oh, that girly friend of your'n?  Funny thing about that-- SOUND    GRISHAM IS YANKED AWAY LEM    Good riddance.  And jest in time. SOUND    BEGINS SHOOTING MaN    [shot, fall] 8_HOLD THE LINES COMMANDER    [roaring now] Hold the lines!  More shot, boy! BOY    Yessir! MAN    [hit, argh!] COMMANDER    Stay low! FANSHAW    All seems rather well here.  GRISHAM    There you are. FANSHAW    Bloody hell. GRISHAM    [nasty chuckle] I was just wondring - if I kin grab you, I bet I kin kiss you, little lady! FANSHAW    [dodging] I doubt you'll catch me again, now that I'm watching for you, but I will admit that one advantage to being a ghost is that I needn't make an effort to remain upwind of you. SOUND    FANSHAW OUT 9_RELOAD SOUND    COMMOTION OFF, NOT RIGHT HERE SOUND    RELOADING SOUND    NEARBY HORSE PFFS LEM    That's nine.  SOUND    SLAPS GUN SHUT SCOTTY    [distant, yelling] Someone!  They're circling round!  There's some fellers as are going south to get behind lines! LEM    Damn.  [listens for a second]  Fanshaw?  Damn.  SCOTTY    [yelling]  Please!  Don't let them hurt nobody in town. LEM    [muttered] boy'll yell himself hoarse.  [chuckles]  dead don't get hoarse.  But I gotta get one.  [clucks to horse] SOUND    HORSE BLOWS LEM    [grunts as he swings into the saddle]  Come on. FANSHAW    [a bit distant] Lem? LEM    Wazzat?  There you are! FANSHAW    Close as I can get just now, and can't stay.  That blighter keeps trying to grab me. LEM    Grisham?  Yeah. FANSHAW    The commander seems to be holding well.  The villains have taken heavy losses and are starting to fall apart. LEM    Good.  Can you yell to Scotty, let him know I got his message? FANSHAW    What message? LEM    Just try and tell the boy.  So he can rest hisself.  [to the horse] Geeyah! SOUND    HORSE TAKES OFF FANSHAW    Scotty?  Can you hear me? 10_YOU STAY COMMANDER    Let's clean this up - leave none of them to try and harm the town. CORPORAL    Yessir! Should we capture them, or-- COMMANDER    This is no time to be peaceable.  They set themselves up to attack a settlement, and we have to take serious measures. SOUND    HORSE APPROACHING LEM    [distant] Commander! COMMANDER    Let him through.  [up, to Lem]  Looks like we've got nearly all of them.  SOUND    GUNSHOTS DISTANT COMMANDER    A bit of tidying up to do, but-- SOUND    HORSE PULLS UP and STOPS LEM    [to horse] Whoah!  I overheard a couple at the back, saying they had a force circlin south - dozen men mebbe - to get round any resistance and come up behind.  COMMANDER    My god! LEM    Horse up a few good men, load em up and come with me. COMMANDER    You, boy! BOY    Yessir? COMMANDER    Bring my horse, quickly! LEM    You're needed here, surely? COMMANDER    You're the one who needs a rest, mister Roberts.  My corporal, here, will be happy to hear any other suggestions you might have, but I will be leading my men. LEM    Sound thinkin.  I have been going a bit. COMMANDER    Corporal? CORPORAL    [acknowledging] Yes sir. FANSHAW    Lem?  I think I got through to Scotty, but there's such a distance.  Poor lad, he merely wants to do his duty. SOUND    LEM DISMOUNTS LEM    Let's you and I see if we cain't root out a few more of these varmints.  I see purty well in the dark. CORPORAL    Excellent!  FANSHAW    I'll see what I can turn up. GRISHAM    Found you! FANSHAW    Oh, damn!  GRISHAM    You ain't never getting away from me, you-- FANSHAW    [hits out] GRISHAM    [ungh!] FANSHAW    Have to get him out of here, Lem.  Too distracting. SOUND    FANSHAW LEAVES GRISHAM    [laughs triumphantly]  Coward!  But I don't suppose I should be surprised. LEM    [quietly, but deadly serious] You don't stop making a fuss, I'm gon' kill your horse. GRISHAM    What? LEM    You sit still and be quiet or that horse yer so attached to is gonna find itself on the wrong end of a bullet.  You hear me? GRISHAM    [all the bluster gone]  Yeah. LEM    Good.  I don't fancy killin no animal just fer this, but this here's a battle-- SOUND    GUNSHOT LEM    [gasp, hit!] Damn! SOUND    QUICKDRAW, GUNS BLAZE GRISHAM    Hah!  I still gotcha! LEM    [weakening, through gritted teeth] Din't no one see them a-sneakin up?  CORPORAL    [commanding] Men! SOUND    MORE GUNSHOTS LEM    [groan] SOUND    BODY DROP AS HE COLLAPSES END   NEXT EPISODE BEGINS SOUND FADES IN AND OUT COMMANDER    Hold on, there, fellow. LEM    [vague] all's well? COMMANDER    We got em. LEM    My pack? COMMANDER    I'll set someone to finding it. FADE OUT DOCTOR    Bite down on this.  He's lost a lot of blood. FADE OUT BOOTMAKER    I'll have a new pair ready before he'll be walking anywhere on them.  You sure I should even bother--? FADEOUT WOMAN    Just a little bit of broth, mister.  You need to get some o'yer strength back. SICKROOM LEM    [annoyed moan] FANSHAW    You're awake. LEM    [quiet]  Anyone--? FANSHAW    Not close enough to hear - as long as you stay quiet. LEM    Good.  I been shot? FANSHAW    At least twice, judging by the bandages.  Once in the chest, once in the leg, I should say.  I should have been watching. LEM    [reassuring] Can't leave you to do everythin.   FANSHAW    [awkward pause, then stiffly]  Should I ...go? LEM    Go?  go where? FANSHAW    [covering] I - I mean, leave you in peace.  To rest.  I don't doubt you will still be needing a great deal of it. LEM    [straining a bit]  Did you see, did it go alla way through? FANSHAW    I don't know, but you were very fortunate - or so the doctor declared. LEM    [satisfied]  Good. FANSHAW    I'll leave you to your rest, then, shall I? LEM    Go or stay, I ain't so wrung out I cain't tell you got somethin on yer mind. FANSHAW    Oh. LEM    Is it that female ghost o'yours yer frettin over? FANSHAW    [bracing breath]  Yes. LEM    [exasperated snort]  Yer worried she said sumpin, izzat it? FANSHAW    Yes. LEM    [playing it up a bit] You furriners and the trifles that plague you. FANSHAW    So she did--? LEM    [shrug]  Yup.  So? FANSHAW    [surprised] So? LEM    You cain't be the first. FANSHAW    First? LEM    Nor the last, like enough. FANSHAW    But it... doesn't... bother you? LEM    Well, you don't do it no more. FANSHAW    I... don't? LEM    'sides, plenty of little fellers wet up the bed right up til they'us in long pants.  FANSHAW    What? END

“You never get over somebody dying, but there is ways to make sure their memory lives on.”   On the 10th July 2009 Nikki's world was totally turned upside down when she had the knock at the door that every Army wife dreads, and was told that Lee had been killed. Her world fell apart. The most painful thing for me was knowing our two precious children would now have to face life without their daddy.   Times were so difficult for Nikki and her children afterwards and around 9 months later she decided to start Scotty's little Soldiers the charity dedicated to supporting bereaved British Forces children.   Nikki takes us on a journey of the serious struggles and lifelong loss of a husband and a father to one that despite all of this provides hundreds of children across the UK with support and guidance throughout their childhood.     Resources:      

Scott Rintoul joined us for his regular Thursday hit from the beaches of Tofino. Right off the bat Scotty shared his thoughts on the 25 year anniversary of the Canucks signing Mark Messier. In relation to our Bodog Poll Question, it's not the worst move in Canucks history. Hear what Rintoul has to say about that and an interesting juxtaposition to another Canucks trade that worked out in the team's favour. Scotty went around the BC sports landscape after a big win by the Whitecaps and what we've seen from Nathan Rourke. The win was massive on a Thursday night.Our Vancouver Canucks reporter, Jeff Paterson, joined Matt and Blake in his daily spot. Starting off with our Bodog Poll Question, Jeff gave his answer, to which there was no doubt in his mind. JPat talked about what Messier was like to deal with as someone who was covering the Canucks. Jeff talked about the defensive depth and where Tucker Poolman fits into the plan with new management.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This week the Cultist travel to 1986 where they go looking for whales to save the Earth and they are bringing I Heart Radio's Uncle Henry with them.  Jestina has some great fun facts from the year 1986, Stephanie has a tasty libation for everyone,  Scotty brings the trivia, and Uncle Henry gives Producer Caleb a new nick name!  All this and more in this ultrapacked episode!   The Cult Movie Cantina is a Podcast that takes a look at favorite Cult Films, pairs it with a cocktail or alcoholic beverage, shows it to someone who hasn't seen it and then talk about it.  The show is filled with great trivia and fun facts along the way. Join the Cult https://www.facebook.com/CultMovieCantina Get Show Notes http://www.scottywhite.com/ Join us on Youtube:  https://www.YouTube.com/MopcastNetwork And On Tik Tok:  @Mopcast        

VLOG: Josh Schulte juror 4 Juan Flores admits notes shared among jurors, violating Judge Furman's order - now hearing like in #GhislaineMaxwell on Scotty David? Don Russell pleads in EDNY, UNSC fails on Iraq & Turkiye as SG @AntonioGuterres continues vacation

Kurt and Scotty talk about how balancing on one foot can tell you whether you will live or die, a woman who won every category at county fair but no one can find her and police pulling a python out of man's pants after he was arrested for fighting!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

The Eugene tour continues! Sprint events have been incredible and our post-meet bar shenanigans have been almost just as unforgettable. Scotty lived a lifelong dream of doing a Paul Swangard impression in front of Paul Swangard, and the boys also got to run with the Citius Mag group. Not even to mention all the Gold and Silver medals the US has secured... Contact the show: chiptimepod@gmail.com. Leave a 5-star rating on Apple or Spotify if you enjoyed. Pick up Shoe Dog by Phil Knight if you want to participate in the Chip Time Book Club. Shop my Favorite 100% Science-Backed Amino Acid Supplements Enter Code "CHIPTIME " To Save 30% ► aminoco.com/CHIPTIME

Scotty Benda, LightRiver's New Chief Product Officer, joins JSA TV for his first time, describing his role in this brand new position at LightRiver that will help to strengthen its leadership team. Scotty describes his career in telecoms and how he will leverage his experience at LightRiver to advance market opportunities in the era of open optical networking and automation, accelerate LightRiver's growth and increase the scale and scope of its operations.SUBSCRIBE to JaymieScottoTV for the latest Telecom News: https://www.youtube.com/JaymieScottoTVHOMEPAGE: http://www.jsa.netLIKE JaymieScottoTV on FACEBOOK:  https://www.facebook.com/JaymieScotto...FOLLOW JaymieScottoTV on TWITTER: https://twitter.com/jsatv

Greetings, friends!  Macho Supreme here!  How is your summer going? Is it extremely macho? Macho hopes that it is. Macho is making his summer extremely macho by doing one of the most macho things Macho can think of—saying “I love you!” Macho has decided to say “I love you!” to all of Macho's friends by helping them! So far this summer, Macho has helped the Fire Pirates, and Nana Supreme, and Princess Donnasaurus, and Macho has even helped Count Vacula by leaving goblin glitter on the floor for him to eat . . . although, now that Macho thinks about it, that may not have been the best idea Macho has ever had. What ideas do you have for saying “I love you” to your friends and family? You can have your grown-up help you write to Macho to tell him all about it, and then Macho can tell Scotty to send you some awesome stickers! That would definitely be extremely macho!Well, Macho has more friends to go say “I love you” to, and Macho also thinks he should probably check on his friend Count Vacula. Macho is concerned that Vacula has eaten a little too much goblin glitter and might hurt himself zooming around so fast. That would not be macho at all.PS: Oh! Did you think Macho had forgotten to say “I love you” to you? That would also not be macho at all!PPS: I LOVE YOU!!

This was perhaps the happiest day of our lives and we're not even exaggerating. After watching some ELECTRIC 200m Finals on the Track, Scotty and Michael ventured to Track Town Pizza after getting a personal invite from NCAA All-American Krissy Gear. The boys meet some all-time greats and partied harder than ever before. The night will never be forgotten. Contact the show: chiptimepod@gmail.com. Leave a 5-star rating on Apple or Spotify if you enjoyed. Pick up Shoe Dog by Phil Knight if you'd like to be part of the Chip Time Book Club. Shop my Favorite 100% Science-Backed Amino Acid Supplements Enter Code "CHIPTIME " To Save 30% ► aminoco.com/CHIPTIME

Kurt and Scotty read listener confessions about sleeping with twin brothers, reheating chicken and falling asleep, going on a date with a porn star and parents who decided on different names for their baby! See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Scotty and Andy want to play a game...

V Spehar (@underthedesknews) joins Kurt and Scotty to talk about how people like other people who smell like them, a guy that spent over $8.5k a year on Pepsi, a man who is going to push peanut up a mountain with his nose and the world's most expensive bath!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.