Spousing: On Modern Marriage

Your hosts A some Qs and also have a little summer announcement.

In this episode, Lauren and Katie discuss The Gottman Institute's principles of "accepting your partner's influence" and "yielding to win." HEAD'S UP: Parts of this episode feature summery hum of our neighbors' lawn mowers (the day we recorded this episode was a real beaut...). We know it's a little distracting, sorry! We'll be back with some less noisy content next week.

This week your hosts tackle the research behind the advice "When in doubt, say 'yes, dear" and "Communication is key!" Recommendations: Voting for common sense gun laws. Netflix Movies: Wine Country & Always Be My Maybe

Your hosts consider the research on common marriage advice. Today we begin with "Never go to bed angry," and "Don't keep score."

Spousing: A pro-marriage podcast for the rest of us. Lauren is an elementary school teacher, queer lady and IPA enthusiast. Katie is a psychotherapist who never uses her inside voice. We're best friends, newly(ish) weds and totally would have been in separated for talking too much if we had been in grade school together. Drawing from personal experience, expert opinion, and conventional wisdom, we approach the gravitas of marriage with candor and levity. We take marriage seriously, ourselves not so much.

Birthdays, graduations, new jobs - when you have a lifelong partner, the list of things to celebrate is endless! How do you mark your partner's milestones? How can you manage the stress of expectations? In this episode, we explore the ups and downs of celebrating your spouse. Recommendations: Katie: American Housewife (ABC Sitcom) Lauren: 1. Keeping a list of your friend's recommendations. 2. Dirty Computer (album by Janelle Monae). 3. Know (album by Jason Mraz); 4. Cars with automatic car keys and push start buttons.

Spousing: A pro-marriage podcast for the rest of us. Lauren is an elementary school teacher, queer lady, and IPA enthusiast. Katie is a psychotherapist who never uses her inside voice. We're best friends, newly(ish) weds, and totally would have been separated for talking too much if we had been in grade school together. Drawing from personal experience, expert opinion, and conventional wisdom, we approach the gravitas of marriage with candor and levity. We take marriage seriously; ourselves not so much.

"You can discover more about a person in an hour of play than in a year of conversation." - Plato* In this exciting episode RECORDED IN KATIE'S KITCHEN; your hosts dig into the importance of play in relationships. Recommendations: Katie: Mark Manson article -https://markmanson.net/healthy-relationship-habits Lauren: Azul (board game) *Or at least POSSIBLY Plato... It's hard to accurately quote the Greeks.

As Katie's Floridian grandfather used to say, "Life is just waiting for another hurricane." This both was literally true for Katie's grandfather, and metaphorically true for all relationships. On today's episode, Lauren & Katie discuss how to be beacons of light--not rescue boats--for our spouses, and share survival stories from past metaphorical hurricanes. Silliness ensues.

Your hosts dig into some listener questions about date nights, what we like about each other's marriages and what we've learned from past relationships. Check out this artist for all your reproductive organ / body part art needs: https://designsbyduvetdays.com/shop/uterus-anatomy/

Emotional intelligence: What is it? Who has it? What do you do when your partner doesn't use it? In this episode, we address the perils of both emotional and physical infidelity before diving into the research on emotional intelligence. Article: https://verilymag.com/2016/03/marriage-advice-communication-emotional-intelligence Recommendations: Lauren - Russian Doll (Netflix); Mile Marker 181 (Podcast) Katie - Couples Massages (Duh), "Night Shift" by Lucy Dacus (song)

Your hosts respond to a listener Q about the politics of name-changing. Next, we dissect the 4 types of support identified by the research. Recommendations: Sushi Go (card game) Leaving Neverland (HBO Documentary) Armchair Expert: Johann Hari Episode (Podcast) Invisibilia: The Fifth Vital Sign Episode (Podcast)

Your hosts dig into the research about attachment styles, the fascinating interpersonal relationship patterns that form in the early years of your life... and then (SURPRISE) show up in all kinds of mysterious ways in your adult relationships. Recommendations: Orange Theory and Sisters (on Netflix).

This week, Lauren and Katie are processing the helpful framework of Love Languages and how knowing how to "speak" your partner's Love Language can improve your groove. Recommendations: One Day at a Time on Netflix (a rare double endorsement!) The Anthropocene Reviewed from WNYC

Our hosts dive into the world of The Enneagram! From Reformers to Peacemakers, there's something in this episode for everyone. Recommendations: Broadchurch (Netflix); SubReddit r/skincareaddiction .

In this (slightly tardy) episode, your intrepid hosts tackle the oh-so-blissful and short-lived honeymoon phase of every long-term relationship. Recommendations: 1. Brisket 2. Married at First Sight on Lifetime 3. Pen15 on Hulu 4. Brisket

In this week's episode, your hosts are getting all mushy in honor of Valentine's Day. That's right, we're throwing it back to the days we became spouses-- our wedding days!

This week, your hosts discuss our relationships with mental health and offer some resources to be conversation starters. Check them out here: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1Dq9eQE_QSVA5pd3QvUQbiWkhzI1hfMqs/view?usp=sharing Additionally, we answer a listener question about traits we sought in partners in dating vs. traits that have turned out to be important in marriage.

In this episode, your hosts take a listener question about the complexities of same-sex partnerships, get (lovingly) shamed for their bad taste in alcohol, and discuss daunting considerations for the pre-parenthood set. THINGS YOU SHOULD LOVE: -"Derry Girls", "Orphan Black", and "Three Wives One Husband" on Netflix -The Orphan Black review podcast "Tatiana is Everyone" Don't forget to leave us a review and share with your friends!

In this episode we tackle what it's like to have a spouse as a roommate. We also answer a listener question and fall in love with some seriously beautiful prose. Sources: https://www.brainpickings.org/2018/09/03/rilke-love-marriage/mc_cid=a499f42fca&mc_eid=48d2c43154 https://contemporaryfamilies.org/whocohabits/

It's that time of the year... In this episode, Katie and Lauren are discussing resolutions. We take a look at 2018, and we look forward to a whole new year. How do we set goals as a couple? How do we hold our spouse accountable without triggering each other? Also, since Katie is perpetually sick, new drinking game: drink every time Katie coughs! LINKS: Vision Setting for Couples https://www.couplesinstitute.com/vision-setting-for-couples/ RECOMMENDATIONS: Gloriavale (documentary available on Amazon) Joking Hazard

We're talking about religion in polite company, y'all. Lauren and Katie are discussing the gifts and struggles an interfaith marriage, and ways to make them work. We also take our first ever listener question and (as always) discuss the state of our unions. What happens when you fall in love across the religious divide? https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2017/nov/18/muslim-wife-christian-interfaith-marriage-reza-aslan Recommendations: WINTER ROBE: https://www.llbean.com/llb/shop/118953?page=scotch-plaid-flannel-robe&bc=12-27&feat=Bathrobes-SR0&csp=f&searchTerm=Bathrobes Marvelous Mrs. Maisel Season 2

Your trusty hosts catch up on the state of their unions, discuss how quality time with your spouse can make you feel #BLESSED and #STRESSED, and (as always) try to get you into the stuff they're into right now. The Love Language of Quality Time: https://www.5lovelanguages.com/2009/01/speaking-the-love-language-of-quality-time/ Time Together Time Apart: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/so-happy-together/201702/time-together-and-time-apart Endorsements: Hallmark movies (especially while providing commentary and analysis with your bestie) Developing the habit of tracking your books

In this episode, Lauren and Katie talk about the leading killer of marriages everywhere: money issues. They also recommend some stuff, including pot roast breakfast burritos and Lin Manuel Miranda's "21 Chump Street."

In this episode, Lauren and Katie discuss the weird and wonderful world of in-laws (you know, the other people you married when you married your spouse). Recommendations: "Songs of the Season" by Ingrid Michaelson 10 Questions Happy Couples are Constantly Asking One Another (https://www.gottman.com/blog/10-questions-happy-couples-constantly-asking-one-another/) Baby Teeth by Zoje Stage

Our first episode! We process our spousing wins and losses from the week, explore what it means to be in a "modern marriage," and introduce you to a drinking game where you get to drink every time one of our dogs bark. Rules for a Happy Life by Charles Murray: https://www.wsj.com/articles/advice-for-a-happy-life-by-charles-murray-1396045908 How Millenials are Defining Marriage from The Gottman Institute: https://www.gottman.com/blog/millennials-redefining-marriage/ Recommendations: Quirkle, Grocery delivery services