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Trevor is an internationally recognized coach and therapist dedicated to helping individuals transform anxious attachment into secure, fulfilling relationships. After overcoming his own anxious attachment, breaking his jaw, ending a toxic relationship, and leaving a corporate career at Tesla, he found his passion for helping others build lasting growth, experience transformation, and step into secure relationships.With a master's degree in Marriage and Family Therapy and advanced training from some of the world's top attachment experts, Trevor has helped thousands of clients around the globe. He's been featured by the Gottman Institute and has spoken to audiences of over 10,000. As the founder of The Art of Healing, he teaches his unique method "The Secure-Self Journey" to overcome attachment issues to people all over the globe, creating lasting change and healthier relationships worldwide. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.
“All couples fight. In fact, how they fight in the first three minutes predicts with 96% accuracy not only how the rest of the conversation will go, but how the rest of the relationship will go six years down the road,” says relationship expert Dr. Julie Gottman. Dr. Julie and John Gottman are founders of the Gottman Institute and the Love Lab where they study how to sustain love and health in relationships. They join Chris to discuss why more people now than ever are deciding to go solo, what a healthy end to a conflict looks like, and the 52 questions you should ask your partner before getting married.This episode is part of a series of bonus videos from "How to Be a Better Human." You can watch the extended video companion on the TED YouTube Channel and the extended interview on the TED Audio Collective YouTube Channel.WatchJulie and John answer listeners' questions: https://youtu.be/nJ4RtT0T_BAExtended interview with Chris: https://youtu.be/CxW0JRAw8bkFollowHost: Chris Duffy (Instagram: @chrisiduffy | https://chrisduffycomedy.com/)Guest: Dr. Julie and John GottmanLinksHumor Me by Chris Duffy (https://t.ted.com/ZGuYfcL)https://www.gottman.com/Instagram: @thegottmaninstituteYouTube: @TheGottmanInstituteLinkedin: @the-gottman-instituteTikTok: @thegottmaninstituteFollow TED! X: https://www.twitter.com/TEDTalksInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/tedFacebook: https://facebook.com/TEDLinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/ted-conferencesTikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@tedtoks Podcasts: https://www.ted.com/podcastsFor the full text transcript, visit go.ted.com/BHTranscriptsInterested in learning more about upcoming TED events? Follow these links:TEDNext: ted.com/futureyou Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
The idea of love maps comes from the Gottman Institute in their studies on relationships, specifically marriage. We wondered if it could be applied to power exchange, too. In this episode: Join us through... The post Love Maps and Power Exchange appeared first on Loving BDSM.
Discover all of the podcasts in our network, search for specific episodes, get the Optimal Living Daily workbook, and learn more at: OLDPodcast.com. Episode 2779: Terry Gaspard explores how a thoughtfully structured trial separation, anchored in clear boundaries, mutual respect, and professional guidance, can become a path toward healing rather than disconnection. Through proven therapeutic strategies and practical steps, she shows how couples can use space not as an escape, but as a deliberate pause to rebuild trust, clarity, and emotional attunement. Read along with the original article(s) here: https://www.gottman.com/blog/do-trial-separations-work/ Quotes to ponder: "If you and your partner are not willing to compromise, then the relationship isn't likely to improve." "Absence makes the heart grow fonder." "Recharge your battery and take time to learn more about yourself so you can view your relationship with a fresh perspective."
Discover all of the podcasts in our network, search for specific episodes, get the Optimal Living Daily workbook, and learn more at: OLDPodcast.com. Episode 2778: Terry Gaspard explains how trial separations can serve as a constructive pause for couples overwhelmed by conflict, offering time to reflect, heal, and rediscover shared values. Through tools like the Gottman-Rapoport Intervention and the Two-Oval Compromise, partners can practice empathy, clarify core needs, and strengthen communication, whether to reunite or move forward separately with understanding and respect. Read along with the original article(s) here: https://www.gottman.com/blog/do-trial-separations-work/ Quotes to ponder: “When both partners feel understood, they will be better prepared to work out the terms for their trial separation.” “Most of the couples who consider a trial separation have grown weary of ongoing struggles and they feel too overwhelmed to make a decision about staying together or splitting up.” “The goal of the method is to help couples to honestly discuss their feelings and beliefs about an issue without blaming or criticizing each other.”
Did you know the average person says around 16,000 words a day, but only one in five are actually positive? That stat from the University of Arizona blew my mind — and honestly, it made me stop and ask, am I speaking more complimentary or more critical?In this solo episode of The Happy Hustle Podcast, I dive deep into one of the most powerful mindset shifts that has changed the way I communicate, in my marriage, my business, and my own self-talk. It's all about replacing criticism with genuine compliments and learning how to speak life into the people (and moments) around you.Here are a few key takeaways from this episode:Your words are building or breaking connection — Every sentence is either bringing you closer or pushing you apart from your partner, your kids, your team, even yourself.The “5:1 ratio” is real — According to the Gottman Institute, successful relationships have five positive interactions for every one negative one. When that ratio flips, so does the harmony.What you reinforce gets repeated — Whether it's your spouse, your kids, or your employees, people thrive when they're recognized and appreciated. Highlight what's working — it multiplies.Curiosity beats criticism — Instead of asking “Why did you do that?” (which usually triggers defensiveness), try “Help me understand what you were thinking.” It opens the door for empathy and connection.The Flip-the-Script Challenge — For the next 7 days, catch yourself when you're about to criticize and replace it with a compliment or a question. You'll be amazed at how quickly your energy — and relationships — shift.This episode is a powerful reminder that our words are spells. They can heal or hurt, connect or divide, uplift or drain. So, speak life. Be the person who compliments more, criticizes less, and spreads positivity everywhere you go.Connect with Cary!https://www.instagram.com/caryjack/https://www.facebook.com/SirCaryJackhttps://www.linkedin.com/in/cary-jack-kendzior/https://twitter.com/thehappyhustlehttps://www.youtube.com/channel/UCFDNsD59tLxv2JfEuSsNMOQ/featured Get a free copy of his new book, The Happy Hustle, 10 Alignments to Avoid Burnout & Achieve Blissful Balance https://www.thehappyhustle.com/bookSign up for The Journey: 10 Days To Become a Happy Hustler Online Coursehttps://thehappyhustle.com/thejourney/Apply to the Montana Mastermind Epic Camping Adventurehttps://thehappyhustle.com/mastermind/“It's time to Happy Hustle, a blissfully balanced life you love, full of passion, purpose, and positive impact!”Episode Sponsors:If you're feeling stressed, not sleeping great, or your energy's been kinda meh lately—let me put you on to something that's been a total game-changer for me: Magnesium Breakthrough by BiOptimizers. This ain't your average magnesium—it's got all 7 essential forms that your body actually needs to chill out, sleep deeper, and feel more balanced. I take it every night and legit notice the difference the next day. No more waking up groggy or tossing and turning all nightIf you're ready to sleep like a baby, calm your nervous system, and optimize your recovery, go grab yours now at bioptimizers.com/happy and use code HAPPY10 for 10% OFF.99 Designs- Need a killer logo, stunning website, or next-level brand design?Stop DIY-ing and start delegating like a boss with 99designs by Vista! Neurable- If you're looking to level up your focus, productivity, and mental well-being all at once, do yourself a favor and check out Neurable. You get a special hookup—just use the code HAPPY at checkout and get $100 off.
Dating works better when it's playful, curious, and pressure-free. We break down why leading with “I'm looking for marriage” screams desperation, how to keep things fun without being a player, and the masculine/feminine dance (men = guardians of commitment, women = guardians of sex). Plus: practical scripts, what “leadership” actually looks like on dates, and when to talk commitment.Chapters • 00:00 Cold open: “Treat dating like it's fun.” • 00:40 Intro + the mindset shift (labels kill chemistry) • 03:15 Why “dating for marriage” backfires (neediness vs. selection) • 07:20 The dance: guardians of sex & commitment explained • 11:45 Nice-guy trap vs. jerk trap (and the real third path) • 16:30 Women's lens: validation, vetting, and slow mystery • 22:10 Leadership & assertiveness vs tactics (how men actually improve) • 27:35 Scripts: flirt without pressure; set clean boundaries • 33:10 When to bring up commitment (timing & phrasing) • 38:25 Red flags: manipulation, love-bombing, performative “boundaries” • 43:10 Weekly challenge + recapRelevant links • Show site & all episodes: https://betterthanperfectpod.com • Gottman Institute (communication & dating research): https://www.gottman.com • Mark Manson's Models (authentic attraction for men): https://markmanson.net/models • Esther Perel (desire & modern relationships): https://www.estherperel.comQuick takeaways • Don't announce outcomes; create chemistry first. • Men: lead with playful flirt + clear plans, not neediness. • Women: keep it fun, vet slowly, don't chase validation. • Talk commitment after mutual momentum, not as an opener.
Therapy terms were meant to heal—so why are they tearing us apart? Today we dig into therapy speak fatigue: how labels like “gaslighting,” “narcissist,” and even “boundaries” get weaponized, why validation isn't agreement, and how to communicate without hiding behind buzzwords. We share concrete phrasing to replace labels with specifics so you can actually fix problems (and reconnect).Chapters • 00:00 Cold open: “Therapy speak is creating a divide” • 00:40 Intro + what we mean by “therapy speak” • 03:10 Weaponizing labels (gaslighting, narcissist, “holding space”) • 07:25 When big words dilute real abuse and real harm • 11:40 Validation vs. agreement (and why constant validation backfires) • 15:30 Boundaries vs. pathologizing: the clean way to set a boundary • 20:05 Scripts: describe behaviors without buzzwords • 25:10 Kids/Gen Z, schools, and the “diagnosis as identity” trap • 29:45 “Therapist as judge” + why outsourced accountability fails • 34:20 Coaching lens: responsibility you control vs. world you don't • 38:15 If your partner weaponizes therapy speak—what to do next • 43:10 Weekly challenge + recapRelevant links & resources • Show site & all episodes: https://betterthanperfectpod.com • Gottman Institute (communication & conflict research): https://www.gottman.com • “Attached” (attachment styles): Amir Levine & Rachel HellerSend us your story or question: betterthanperfectpodcast@gmail.comFollow on socials: @betterthanperfectpodcastTakeaways • Use specifics over labels: “When you did X, I experienced Y. Here's what I need next.” • Boundaries you control: “If name-calling starts, I'll pause this convo and reschedule.” • Validation ≠ agreement. You can honor feelings without surrendering facts.
We all scoff. We all slip into sarcasm. But what if those “little” habits aren't as harmless as they seem? Research from the Gottman Institute shows that contempt — often disguised as casual teasing — is the single strongest predictor of death to connection (aka: divorce)Scoffing, sarcasm, and eye-rolling may feel small in the moment, but they send powerful messages of superiority, dismissal, and disrespect.In this episode, we unpack how these micro-habits of contempt impact the brain, erode safety, and poison connection in marriage. You'll hear real-life examples of how scoffing and sarcasm sneak into everyday conversations, what's really hiding underneath those jabs (hint: it's often unspoken pain), and practical ways to replace contempt with curiosity and vulnerability.If you've ever said, “Oh, we're just teasing,” this episode will help you see why even a few “drops of poison” can contaminate the well of your relationship — and how to choose a healthier, more life-giving way forward.We are giving you a 30 day Challenge: Weed out scoffing & sarcasm from your dialogue. See what a difference it makes. (Remember: don't use this challenge to start tallying how often your partner uses them- mind your half of the yard only :) Class starts in less than a week - click here to get all the info about my Time Management [ for non-type A people] course. Support the show------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------->>> Become a sponor of our shows
Embrace Breakthroughs With The “Heal From a Breakup” Course—Free for Life When You Start a 7-Day Trial. Limited-time only! https://attachment.personaldevelopmentschool.com/dream-life-breakup-course?utm_source=podcast&utm_campaign=dream-life-breakup-course&utm_medium=organic&utm_content=yt-MM-DD-YY&el=podcast It's not usually the big fights that end relationships with dismissive avoidants—it's something far more subtle: the slow fade into the “roommate trap.” In this episode, Thais Gibson explains why love with a dismissive avoidant often erodes into mere coexistence, how neuroscience confirms disengagement is more damaging than conflict, and the exact steps you can take to prevent it. You'll learn about the “four pillars of connection,” why avoidants over-rely on intellectual connection, and how unspoken needs and unprocessed conflicts slowly build walls that kill intimacy. Thais also shares a practical 3-step strategy to stop the cycle and reintroduce emotional closeness into the relationship. You'll learn: ✅ Why dismissive avoidants rely heavily on intellectual connection, neglecting emotional and romantic pillars ✅ How comfort, routine, and security become their version of “commitment” ✅ Why lack of communication about needs leads to walls and eventual disengagement ✅ What the Gottman Institute reveals about emotional disengagement as the #1 predictor of divorce ✅ How oxytocin and shared vulnerability moments rebuild bonding ✅ A 3-step roadmap: set deadlines, clarify needs, and practice “micro-vulnerability” Episode Breakdown (Timestamps): 00:00 – Intro 00:36 – Why Avoidants Prefer Intellectual Connection 00:59 – The Pillars of a Relationship 02:40 – Why Avoidants Feel Safety in Disconnection 04:32 – Heal From a Breakup Course Promo 05:21 – Communication Struggles of Dismissive Avoidants 07:54 – The Neuroscience of Conflict & Vulnerability 09:47 – Step 1: Set a Deadline 10:34 – Step 2: Clarify Your Needs in a Relationship 12:03 – Step 3: Be Upfront About Boundaries 13:06 – Conclusion Meet the Host Thais Gibson is the founder of The Personal Development School and a world leader in attachment theory. With a Ph.D. and over a dozen certifications, she's helped more than 70,000 people reprogram their subconscious and build thriving relationships. Helpful Resources:
I'm back with a deep dive into a topic that many listeners have either asked me directly or perhaps quietly wondered about but may not say out loud: what happens when one partner is invested in personal growth and the other isn't? Drawing from my own journey, years of interviews with experts, and Gottman Institute research, I explore in this solo episode how this dynamic plays out in relationships and what it can mean for intimacy, compatibility, and long-term partnership. Relationships don't always end because of one big betrayal or crisis. Sometimes, they slowly drift apart as one person evolves and the other prefers comfort and predictability. I'm unpacking the tension between growth-oriented partners and stability-oriented partners—and ask the hard question: can these two ways of being coexist, or does the gap eventually become too wide? What you'll hear in this episode: How growth-oriented and stability-oriented partners value relationships differently The ways personal transformation can unintentionally feel like criticism Why recurring arguments often reveal deeper, unspoken dreams What happens when one partner turns toward—or away from—bids for connection How couples can accept influence from each other without fully sharing the same goals A framework for building a shared meaning system that balances stability and growth The moment of clarity that comes from realizing you're asking for more than the relationship can provide Why leaving isn't always failure, but sometimes an act of integrity At its core, this conversation is about honoring both your partner's truth and your own. My invitation to you is to invite you to reflect on what you most deeply want in a relationship and to trust your intuition when the paths no longer align. Resources from this episode: Email me (support@andreaowen.com) or send me a DM on Instagram if you're interested in deeper work in a new group program I'll be offering soon! 691 When Growth Rocks the Boat668: Lesson 8: Leaving people behind to find yourselfSeven Principles for Making Marriage Work by John Gottman Book recommendations: I love a good personal development book, and you do too, right? I've compiled a list of book recommendations, as mentioned in past episodes. Check out these amazing book recommendations here. Happy reading! MSN is supported by: We love the sponsors that make our show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: andreaowen.com/sponsors/ Episode link: https://andreaowen.com/podcast/694 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
This episode stems from a paragraph from Case Kenny's book: The Opposite of Settling. (Highly suggest!) The concept stems from a long standing research on relationshihp study by The Gottman Institute- that for healthy relationships, and then the author of the book related how you can do this to yourself. As in your relationship with you. How you speak to you matters. Get the book here: https://amzn.to/4gg5C4Z Subscribe to Annie on Youtube here:https://www.youtube.com/c/anniecowden
Book a FREE 30-minute breakthrough consultation .In this episode, we're exploring how to consciously communicate in conflict. The best of relationships aren't conflict-free. In fact, conflict in partnership is imperative to the overall health of a relationship. One of the keys to healthy, long-lasting, conscious partnership, it turns out, is not if we fight but rather how we fight. In other words, it's not the absence of conflict that makes a relationship healthy. Rather, it's the presence of consciousness and awareness during conflict that allows a relationship to thrive. BooksFight Right: How Successful Couples Turn Conflict Into Connection* by Julie Schwartz Gottman, PhD and John Gottman, PhDThe Mindful Body* by Ellen J. LangerArticlesHow to Avoid Blowing Your Top: Understanding the Window of ToleranceImages + ResourcesWindow of Tolerance (visual)'I' Statements WorksheetDisclaimer: This podcast is intended for entertainment and informational purposes only and does not substitute individual psychological advice. *This is an affiliate link. Purchasing through affiliate links supports The Soul Horizon at no extra cost to you. Thanks for your support!
Relationship myths, communication pitfalls, and the secret science behind lasting love—today's guest unmasks it all. On this special two-part edition of Women of Impact, Lisa Bilyeu welcomes Dr. Julie Gottman, renowned clinical psychologist, world-leading relationship expert, and co-founder of the Gottman Institute. With 40 years of transformative experience, Dr. Julie reveals what truly makes or breaks a relationship, why men and women cheat, and what most of us get wrong about emotional connection. In Part 1, Lisa and Dr. Julie take you on a myth-busting journey through the psychology of infidelity, the truth about “emotional” versus “physical” cheating, and the surprising evolutionary roots of why men sometimes shut down during arguments. Learn the real drivers behind relationship failure, why loneliness—not infidelity—is the ultimate relationship killer, and actionable scripts to resolve conflict without triggering defensiveness. If you've ever wondered what your partner is really thinking—or why your communication keeps hitting a wall—this episode is your essential guide. 01:13 Myths About Male & Female Cheating10:19 How to Approach Tough Conversations23:21 Why Men Stay, Why Women Leave31:46 Red Flags: Can You Fix a Relationship with a Narcissist? FOLLOW DR. JULIE GOTTMAN:Website: https://www.gottman.comInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/gottmaninstituteTwitter: https://twitter.com/gottmaninstFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/gottmaninstitute CHECK OUT OUR SPONSORS Vital Proteins: Get 20% off by going to https://www.vitalproteins.com and entering promo code WOI at check out. SleepMe: Visit https://sleep.me/woi to get your Chilipad and save 20% with code WOI. Try it risk-free with their 30-night sleep trial and free shipping! OneSkin: Get 15% off with code LISA at https://oneskin.co Shopify: Sign up for your one-dollar-per-month trial period at https://shopify.com/lisa Macy's: Upgrade your glam at https://macys.com ********************************************************************** LISTEN TO WOMEN OF IMPACT AD FREE + BONUS EPISODES on APPLE PODCASTS: apple.co/womenofimpact ********************************************************************** FOLLOW LISA: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lisabilyeu/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/lisabilyeu YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/womenofimpact Tik Tok: https://www.tiktok.com/@lisa_bilyeu?lang=en Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
You're trying to be supportive. They says you're not listening. You open up emotionally. They try to fix it.And bam, you're both frustrated, annoyed and wondering what went wrong. Ugh (been there!).Today I'm going deep into one of the MOST overlooked emotional patterns that quietly causes distance, conflict, and even breakups in relationships... and you probably don't even realise you're doing it. (I had no idea till I read it was a thing!)
Join Pam, Anna, and Erika to talk about bids for connection. John and Julie Gottman from the Gottman Institute coined the term “bids for connection” to describe many moments through our days when people in our lives try to connect with us. In our conversation, we talked about what those bids can look like (sometimes […]
In this episode, we explore the foundations for conscious communication. The way we communicate is an essential part of the small stuff we do in our relationships that adds up to enormous proportions over time. Overlook it and we're bound to face cracks in what was once a solid foundation. Attend to it consciously, mindfully, thoughtfully, and we set ourselves up to thrive in our ability to create healthy, enjoyable relationships. Book a free 30-minute breakthrough consultationSoulrevealed.comEpisodesEp. 115: Attunement + Containment: Building Safety, Connection, and Trust in Conscious RelationshipsBooksIt Begins With You* by Jillian TureckiThe Love Prescription: 7 Days to More Intimacy, Connection, and Joy* by John Gottman, PhD and Julie Schwartz Gottman, PhDHow to Love Better* by Yung PuebloArticlesThe Ultimate Guide to Conscious Relationships in 2025 by Practical IntimacyDisclaimer: This podcast is intended for entertainment and informational purposes only and does not substitute individual psychological advice. *This is an affiliate link. Purchasing through affiliate links supports The Soul Horizon at no extra cost to you. Thanks for your support!
What's the secret to building unshakeable trust with your customers—especially when you're not face-to-face and your product passes through layers before it ever reaches the end user? That question has been top of mind for me, and it's exactly why I was so excited to sit down with Lisa Schwartz, Chief Operating Officer of Mathematica, on the latest episode of the Delighted Customers podcast. If you've ever wondered how trust really forms—not just in simple transactions, but in complex relationships where intermediaries stand between your company and your customers—you're not going to want to miss this conversation. The little things we do, and the way we handle nuanced moments, can echo throughout an entire organization and set the tone for customer loyalty and business success. I invite you to join me and Lisa as we explore the real-world power of trust. Lisa brings together an incredible mix of deep research, operational leadership, and street-smart experience (from her PhD in Developmental Psychology to her days as a bartender, practicing personalization long before it was a business buzzword). I learned so much from her perspective—she simply “gets it,” blending science, practical application, and genuine emotional intelligence in a way that makes it easy to apply to any customer relationship, no matter your industry or selling channel. Here are three powerful questions we tackle together on the show: How can you demonstrate credibility and reliability when you don't actually control the front-line customer interactions? What are best practices for creating intimacy and lowering self-orientation in situations where direct access to the end user isn't possible? What kinds of small gestures truly move the needle in building lasting customer partnerships and loyalty? If these are questions you wrestle with—or you want to elevate trust inside and outside your organization—I hope you'll listen in. Subscribe to Delighted Customers on Apple Podcasts and Spotify, or find us on your favorite podcast platform. Your feedback and support mean the world to me, and I can't wait for you to experience what Lisa has to share! Meet Lisa Schwartz Lisa Schwartz, Ph.D., is the Chief Operating Officer of Mathematica, a leading research and data consulting firm committed to improving public well-being through evidence-based solutions. With academic roots in developmental psychology (PhD, University of Maryland, College Park), Lisa spent years progressing from project leadership to executive management at Mathematica. Since 2019, she has driven the company's customer experience strategy across all divisions, spearheading initiatives that blend data-driven objectivity with a client-centric approach. Lisa's expertise lies in translating academic research into actionable, scalable business practices, all while championing relational trust as the cornerstone of every client journey. Catch Part 2 of 2 with Lisa on Episode #139! Connect with Lisa Schwartz on LinkedIn. Show Notes and References Learn more about Mathematica: mathematica.org Explore the Gottman Institute's work on emotional bank accounts: gottman.com Read about the Trust Equation from “The Trusted Advisor”: trustedadvisor.com Meet Lisa Lisa Schwartz brings 20 years of research and leadership experience to her role as COO at Mathematica, where she guides operational strategy and advances customer experience initiatives. A passionate proponent of evidence-based solutions, Lisa is recognized for blending the objectivity of research with the empathy required for impactful client relationships.
Note: This is Part 1 of a 2-part series What does it take to create an onboarding experience so powerful that clients can't imagine working with anyone else? For executives and customer experience leaders, the onboarding process is much more than an administrative formality—it's the first date, the pivotal moment when a client decides whether to pursue a deeper relationship or walk away. In this episode of the Delighted Customers podcast, Mark Slatin sits down with Lisa Schwartz, COO of Mathematica, to unpack the psychology and structure behind onboarding experiences that build trust, foster loyalty, and drive business results. Lisa draws from her unique blend of research expertise and executive experience to reveal why onboarding is critical for long-term client engagement and how intentional, personal touches can transform a standard process into lasting advocacy. Why listen to Lisa Schwartz? With a PhD in psychology from the University of Maryland and two decades at Mathematica, Lisa bridges academic rigor with operational excellence. She's led the company's customer experience transformation since 2019, skillfully adapting evidence-based practices to real-world client relationships. Lisa's passion for humanizing business, her practical analogies, and her research-backed strategies ensure takeaways for leaders seeking meaningful change in their organizations. Here are three provocative questions Lisa addresses in this insightful conversation: Why does the typical “welcome email” fall drastically short of what true onboarding should accomplish? What are the most common myths and pitfalls organizations fall into when designing onboarding experiences? How can customer experience leaders use psychological principles—like trust building and emotional “deposits”—to foster client relationships that last for years? Don't miss out! Listen to Lisa's episode of the Delighted Customers podcast and subscribe to get every new insight. Find the show on Apple Podcasts and Spotify, or on any of your favorite podcast platforms. Meet Lisa Schwartz Lisa Schwartz, Ph.D., is the Chief Operating Officer of Mathematica, a leading research and data consulting firm committed to improving public well-being through evidence-based solutions. With academic roots in developmental psychology (PhD, University of Maryland, College Park), Lisa spent years progressing from project leadership to executive management at Mathematica. Since 2019, she has driven the company's customer experience strategy across all divisions, spearheading initiatives that blend data-driven objectivity with a client-centric approach. Lisa's expertise lies in translating academic research into actionable, scalable business practices, all while championing relational trust as the cornerstone of every client journey. Catch Part 2 of 2 with Lisa on Episode #139! Connect with Lisa Schwartz on LinkedIn. Show Notes and References Learn more about Mathematica: mathematica.org Explore the Gottman Institute's work on emotional bank accounts: gottman.com Read about the Trust Equation from “The Trusted Advisor”: trustedadvisor.com Meet Lisa Lisa Schwartz brings 20 years of research and leadership experience to her role as COO at Mathematica, where she guides operational strategy and advances customer experience initiatives. A passionate proponent of evidence-based solutions, Lisa is recognized for blending the objectivity of research with the empathy required for impactful client relationships.
The Gottman Institute has been studying couples for decades. They are one of the only empirically backed institutes that has such long term studies on couples. They've pretty much cracked the code on what actually makes a couple stay together or get divorced. Pretty amazing work they've done. The basis to the Gottmans work is something called The Four Horsemen. Four communication styles that are proven to create major foundational cracks in your relationship if done consistently. They are: Criticism, Contempt, Defensiveness, and Stonewalling. I dive deep into explaining each one and what they look like within an argument. This is an important episode if you're trying to work on your relationship or prevent future issues. If you liked my style and are thinking about therapy I'm currently taking client! Reach out below!https://loveyouevenmore.com/TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@thejacquelinebrubakerIG: https://www.instagram.com/jacquelinebrubaker/Support the show
Listeners, our guest this episode is Elizabeth Williamson, well known for her conflict resolution, improved relationships and resilience expertise and practice. This isn't the first time Liz and I have had a 'thriving matters' conversation and I guarantee you won't be disappointed. There are many gems in our latest chat including the latest in the Gottman Institute's research; her new chapter just about to be released; gems from her Conflict Confidence TM Method-6 key steps program and much more. As all rich conversations go we weave in and out of practices, challenges, home and the workplace and laugh as well as listen to each other. Liz is tenacious, her grit and grace legendary, she is real and has scars, bumps and bruises daily and freely shares that 'turning poison into medicine' is the value creating opportunity we all have to live purposefully. If you really resonated with our conversation, we would love a referral onwards to your friends and colleagues, its so easy to subscribe! Go gently now, you are precious and your #thrivingmatters. To connect with Elizabeth: linkedin.com/in/elizabeth-williamson-solutions URL: elizabethwilliamsonsolutions.com Email: info@elizabethwilliamsonsolutions.com To connect with Carrie: LI: linkedin.com/in/carriebenedet URL: carriebenedet.com (Company) Email: carolinebenedet2@gmail.com
Matthew, Audrey, and Stephen dive into what truly makes a long-term relationship successful—beyond the clichés. Whether you're in a new relationship, struggling with resentment, or simply curious about what happy couples do differently, this episode is packed with insight from experts on what really makes love last. In this episode: Results from a 20,000-person Instagram poll on what people think makes a relationship last. The Gottman Institute on bids for connection, and the 5:1 ratio of positive to negative interactions. The toxic buildup of micro-resentments—and how to address them early. How to repair arguments when one person wants space and the other wants closeness. Relationship “hacks” you've never heard of (including love mapping and emotional buttons). Why “perfect” couples still argue—and how to argue better. The Michelangelo Effect: how great couples help each other grow. Links:
Happy Monday, readers! Today, Jake and Brooke are joined by Corina (host of "Lessons from the Couch") to talk about love, intimacy, marriage - and how James Dobson gets it all wrong. Things get wild when 3 therapists talk shit about another clinician. You know us, famous for getting wild on this blog.Listen to "Lessons from the Couch" wherever you get your podcasts!Book referrals:"8 Dates: Essential Conversations for a Lifetime of Love" by Drs. John and Julie Gottman"Come As You Are" by Dr. Emily Nagoski"Hold me Tight: Seven Conversations for a Lifetime of Love" by Dr. Sue Johnson"How Not to Hate Your Husband After Kids" by Jancee DunnReferences:Brittle, Z. (2015, July 30). Committment. The Gottman Institue. https://www.gottman.com/blog/commitment/Carothers, Bobbi and Harry Reis. “Men and Women Are from Earth: Examining the Latent Structure of Gender,” Journal of Personality and Social Psychology 104, no. 2 (2013). Gaspard, T. (2019, April 24). What to Do if You Don't Trust Each Other. The Gottman Institute. https://www.gottman.com/blog/what-to-do-if-you-dont-trust-each-other/George, M. B. (2025, February 5). What Do Trust and Commitment Look Like in a Relationship? The Gottman Institute. https://www.gottman.com/blog/what-does-trust-and-commitment-look-like-in-a-relationship/James, D., & Drakich, J. (1993). Understanding gender differences in amount of talk: A critical review of research. In D. Tannen (Ed.), Gender and conversational interaction (pp. 281–312). Oxford University Press. What is the Sound Relationship House? (2020, November 30). The Gottman Institute. https://www.gottman.com/blog/what-is-the-sound-relationship-house/Music from #Uppbeat (free for Creators!):https://uppbeat.io/t/mood-maze/trendsetterLicense code: 9OT2MTBHWWSRZP5S Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Jacqueline Wielick, LMFT, is a licensed marriage and family therapist and owner of her own private practice, Therapy by Jackie. She has a master of science in marriage and family therapy, and degrees in both psychology and sociology. With a focus on couples, relationships, attachment, trauma, and emotions, Jackie's passion is helping people find deep joy in themselves and in their relationships using her advanced training in research-based theories such as EFT and Gottman Method Couples Therapy. Jackie previously worked at The Gottman Institute for five years, one of the world's leading research institutes for couples and relationships, where she was exposed to their revolutionary research on love and relationships. Learn more at www.jackiewielick.com. Jennine Estes Powell, LMFT, is founder of Estes Therapy, a group practice in San Diego, CA, that concentrates on relationship counseling. As a licensed marriage and family therapist who is certified in emotionally focused therapy (EFT), she has been helping countless couples repair their rifts and reinvigorate their connection for more than twenty years. She also trains other therapists and serves as a mentor for colleagues. Her aim is to strategically apply empirically based techniques to create positive, long-term change. Learn more at www.estestherapy.com. Check Out the Quick Tip Here: https://www.newharbinger.com/blog/quick-tips-therapists/what-to-do-when-couples-therapy-clients-come-into-the-session-escalated-in-their-negative-cycle/ If you have ideas for future episodes, thoughts, or questions, we'd love to hear from you! Send us an email at podcast@newharbinger.com
Discover all of the podcasts in our network, search for specific episodes, get the Optimal Living Daily workbook, and learn more at: OLDPodcast.com. Episode 2579: Dr. Diana Kirschner breaks the myth that healthy relationships are free of conflict, revealing that arguments, when handled with care, can actually strengthen connection and trust. She shares six therapist-approved techniques, like the “Take Two” method and Positive Shaping Talk, to help couples fight fairly, deepen intimacy, and turn tension into closeness. Read along with the original article(s) here: https://lovein90days.com/healthy-relationships-fighting-what-therapists-want-you-to-know/ Quotes to ponder: "Happy couples are authentic, straight with each other, and air their differences." "Keep in mind that your real foe is not your partner but this physiological stress reaction!" "Ask yourself, which is more important: to be right or to be close?" Episode references: The Gottman Institute: https://www.gottman.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Discover all of the podcasts in our network, search for specific episodes, get the Optimal Living Daily workbook, and learn more at: OLDPodcast.com. Episode 2579: Dr. Diana Kirschner breaks the myth that healthy relationships are free of conflict, revealing that arguments, when handled with care, can actually strengthen connection and trust. She shares six therapist-approved techniques, like the “Take Two” method and Positive Shaping Talk, to help couples fight fairly, deepen intimacy, and turn tension into closeness. Read along with the original article(s) here: https://lovein90days.com/healthy-relationships-fighting-what-therapists-want-you-to-know/ Quotes to ponder: "Happy couples are authentic, straight with each other, and air their differences." "Keep in mind that your real foe is not your partner but this physiological stress reaction!" "Ask yourself, which is more important: to be right or to be close?" Episode references: The Gottman Institute: https://www.gottman.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Discover all of the podcasts in our network, search for specific episodes, get the Optimal Living Daily workbook, and learn more at: OLDPodcast.com. Episode 2950: Dr. Ashleigh Louis shares simple yet powerful ways to help children develop long-term self-care habits through consistent routines, outdoor activities, and shared moments of joy. Practicing these habits together not only builds your child's emotional resilience but also strengthens the parent-child bond in meaningful, lasting ways. Read along with the original article(s) here: https://www.gottman.com/blog/teach-kids-self-care-creating-healthy-habits/ Quotes to ponder: "Even if they are not currently stressed or upset, teaching kids to regularly take care of themselves will help ensure that they have the skills to manage future stressors in healthy and effective ways." "The important thing isn't necessarily to get into great shape or to take on big athletic challenges, but to build a regular routine of physical self-care that maintains good health and balance." "Basically, it feels good to do good, and it provides long-term health benefits!" Episode references: The Science of Gratitude - Greater Good Science Center: https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/why_gratitude_is_good The Science of Kindness - Random Acts of Kindness Foundation: https://www.randomactsofkindness.org/the-science-of-kindness The Benefits of Laughter: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6125057/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Discover all of the podcasts in our network, search for specific episodes, get the Optimal Living Daily workbook, and learn more at: OLDPodcast.com. Episode 2950: Dr. Ashleigh Louis shares simple yet powerful ways to help children develop long-term self-care habits through consistent routines, outdoor activities, and shared moments of joy. Practicing these habits together not only builds your child's emotional resilience but also strengthens the parent-child bond in meaningful, lasting ways. Read along with the original article(s) here: https://www.gottman.com/blog/teach-kids-self-care-creating-healthy-habits/ Quotes to ponder: "Even if they are not currently stressed or upset, teaching kids to regularly take care of themselves will help ensure that they have the skills to manage future stressors in healthy and effective ways." "The important thing isn't necessarily to get into great shape or to take on big athletic challenges, but to build a regular routine of physical self-care that maintains good health and balance." "Basically, it feels good to do good, and it provides long-term health benefits!" Episode references: The Science of Gratitude - Greater Good Science Center: https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/why_gratitude_is_good The Science of Kindness - Random Acts of Kindness Foundation: https://www.randomactsofkindness.org/the-science-of-kindness The Benefits of Laughter: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6125057/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
In this episode of Top Self, Shanenn sits down with relationship and communication expert Dr. Jessica Higgins to unpack one of the sneakiest relationship saboteurs: criticism. Whether you're nitpicking over the garage door or bottling resentment until it explodes, criticism can quietly damage your emotional connection. Dr. Higgins breaks down why we criticize, how it's often tied to fear, insecurity, or control—and what to do instead. From revealing instead of blaming, to communicating needs without making your partner defensive, this episode is packed with powerful reframes and tools to shift from criticism to connection.Key Moments:· 2:00 – Why criticism is often an attempt to control, not connect· 6:00 – How to tell the difference between a complaint an emotional need· 12:20 – What your criticism is actually trying to say· 20:40 – How to turn a complaint into a “reveal or request”· 29:00 – The neuroscience behind why we misread our partner's silence· 38:00 – A hilarious hot tub story that'll test your jealousy triggersGolden Episode Nuggets:
Discover all of the podcasts in our network, search for specific episodes, get the Optimal Living Daily workbook, and learn more at: OLDPodcast.com. Episode 2543: Parent Co. shares a heartfelt tribute to the lasting impact of a mother's words, showing how consistent empathy, trust, and encouragement can shape a child's inner voice. This moving reflection highlights how nurturing emotional strength early on leads to lifelong confidence and self-belief. Read along with the original article(s) here: https://www.gottman.com/blog/10-things-mom-told-kid-give-confidence-adult/ Quotes to ponder: "My mom never told me what to do. She made my thoughts and feelings important by asking me about them." "I grew up believing that I could be proud of myself. And I am." Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Discover all of the podcasts in our network, search for specific episodes, get the Optimal Living Daily workbook, and learn more at: OLDPodcast.com. Episode 2543: Parent Co. shares a heartfelt tribute to the lasting impact of a mother's words, showing how consistent empathy, trust, and encouragement can shape a child's inner voice. This moving reflection highlights how nurturing emotional strength early on leads to lifelong confidence and self-belief. Read along with the original article(s) here: https://www.gottman.com/blog/10-things-mom-told-kid-give-confidence-adult/ Quotes to ponder: "My mom never told me what to do. She made my thoughts and feelings important by asking me about them." "I grew up believing that I could be proud of myself. And I am." Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Today's episode was inspired by our personal experiences and a blog post from The Gottman Institute all about perpetual versus solvable problems in long-relationships. As close friends, we've had a front seat to the common disagreements and issues that we each have in our 10-year long marriages. We often will talk through something and try to see the other partner's side, while also working towards solutions - which is what you'll get to hear in today's episode. The Gottman blog post was so interesting to us because it made us realize that what may be a solvable problem for Abby and Colin, may be a perpetual problem for Amy and Drew and vice versa. According to The Gottman Institute, 69% of problems in relationships are perpetual with the most common topics being household chores, parenting, sex, and in-law relationships. We are digging into a couple of these topics today and breaking down whether this is a perpetual or solvable problem in our own relationship and what we've done to work on it together as a couple. We hope that from listening to our personal experiences in today's episode, you're able to reflect if your marital arguments are perpetual or solvable problems in order to evolve with your partner and be in a really happy marriage.Links & Resources:20% off your order of Cymbiotika PLUS free shipping 20% off your first order at Vuori ClothingCheck out the Maui Nui Venison products we're loving!The Gottman Institute Blog Post, “Managing Conflict: Solvable vs Perpetual Problems”Let's connect!HERSELF PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/herselfpodcastHERSELF INSTAGRAM: http://instagram.com/herselfpodcastMEET AMY: http://instagram.com/ameskieferMEET ABBY: http://instagram.com/abbyrosegreenThis episode was brought to you by the Pivot Ball Change Network.
Will your next phase be your time? If you're a people-pleaser, or know someone who is, you'll want to hear from Hailey Magee, author of Stop People Pleasing and Find Your Power. It's time to set better boundaries, advocate for your needs and priorities and start living the life you've imagined. Hailey Magee joins us from Seattle. ______________________ Bio Hailey Magee is a certified coach who helps people around the world break the people-pleasing pattern and master the art of self-advocacy. Holding a credential from the International Coaching Federation and certified by Erickson Coaching International, Hailey has worked with over 500 private clients, helping recovering people-pleasers rediscover not only their power and agency, but their pleasure, joy, and sense of wonder. Her debut book, Stop People Pleasing and Find Your Power, was released by Simon & Schuster in 2024. Hailey's refreshingly nuanced perspectives on boundary-setting and self-advocacy have captured the attention of millions on social media. Her work has been featured in The New York Times, The Gottman Institute, Business Insider, and Newsweek, and she has facilitated workshops in partnership with WeWork, Women In Music, and a variety of other companies and organizations. Hailey is dedicated to offering her clients clear, research-supported strategies for change. She resides in Seattle, WA. ______________________ For More on Hailey Magee Stop People Pleasing and Find Your Power Website ______________________ Podcast Episodes You May Like The Power of Saying No – Vanessa Patrick, PhD The Joy of Saying No – Natalie Lue Edit Your Life – Elisabeth Sharp McKetta _____________________ About The Retirement Wisdom Podcast There are many podcasts on retirement, often hosted by financial advisors with their own financial motives, that cover the money side of the street. This podcast is different. You'll get smarter about the investment decisions you'll make about the most important asset you'll have in retirement: your time. About Retirement Wisdom I help people who are retiring, but aren't quite done yet, discover what's next and build their custom version of their next life. A meaningful retirement doesn't just happen by accident. Schedule a call today to discuss how The Designing Your Life process created by Bill Burnett & Dave Evans can help you make your life in retirement a great one – on your own terms. About Your Podcast Host Joe Casey is an executive coach who also helps people design their next life after their primary career and create their version of The Multipurpose Retirement.™ He created his own next chapter after a twenty-six-year career at Merrill Lynch, where he was Senior Vice President and Head of HR for Global Markets & Investment Banking. Today, in addition to his work with clients, Joe hosts The Retirement Wisdom Podcast, which thanks to his guests and loyal listeners, ranks in the top 1 % globally in popularity by Listen Notes, with over 1.6 million downloads. Business Insider has recognized Joe as one of 23 innovative coaches who are making a difference. He's the author of Win the Retirement Game: How to Outsmart the 9 Forces Trying to Steal Your Joy. Connect on LinkedIn _______________________ Wise Quotes On People Pleasing "It's really just the act of putting other people first at our own detriment, chronically. So unlike regular generosity, which can feel really great and benefit our relationships, people pleasing tends to be a chronic pattern of behavior that really negatively affects us over time. And the costs are high. First of all, because we're always centering other people and putting them first, we become really disconnected from ourselves. So we struggle to access our own dreams, our own desires, our own needs, and that can lead to life feeling kind of hollow and one dimensional. On top of that, our emotional health can suffer because we're often over committe...
The Gottman Institute identified "The 4 Horseman of the Apocolypse", which can supposedly predict the end of a relationship. We shed some biblical light on these ideas as well as some helpful antidotes. We pray it blesses you!Master marital communication: https://speak.fiercemarriage.comTake the 31-Day Pursuit Challenge: https://31daypursuit.comPray for your spouse with intention: https://40prayers.comTo learn more about becoming a Christian, visit: https://thenewsisgood.comThis ministry is entirely listener-supported. To partner with us, visit https://fiercemarriage.com/partner Good news! You can now find FULL video episodes on our YouTube channel, The Fierce Family. Visit https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCkyO4yVeRdODrpsyXLhEr7w to subscribe and watch. We hope to see you there!
Dr. Liz and Dr. Dave welcome Joni Parthimer, education director for the Gottman Institute's Bringing Baby Home program, to discuss how couples can maintain a strong relationship while navigating the challenges of new parenthood.• Research shows 67% of couples experience a significant drop in relationship satisfaction after becoming parents• Three key ingredients for relationship success: maintaining friendship, respectful conflict regulation, and creating shared family meaning• The NURSE framework helps new parents prioritize self-care: Nutrition, Understanding support needs, Rest/Resources, Soul-feeding activities, and Exercise• CPR parenting (Consistent, Predictable, Responsive) builds emotional security for infants• Babies communicate through non-verbal cues and states of consciousness from birth• Understanding infant development helps parents respond appropriately to their needs• Grandparents play an evolving role and should ask what support looks like for each family• Creating a postpartum plan before baby arrives helps the transition for everyone involved• The greatest gift parents can give children is a healthy relationship between themselves• The "family fish tank" metaphor reminds us children are only as healthy as their family ecosystemVisit jptrainsandspeaks.com to learn more about Bringing Baby Home workshops and resources for expectant parents and grandparents. Email Joni at joni.parthemer@gmail.com with questions.Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways: Strongermarriage.org Podcast.stongermarriage.org Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/strongermarriage/ Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/strongermarriagelife/ Dr. Dave Schramm: http://drdaveschramm.com http://drdavespeaks.com Dr. Liz Hale: http://www.drlizhale.com
Be sure to watch this and every episode of the Stronger Marriage Connection Podcast on YouTube: https://youtu.be/FCbpDpXNMpI Today on this episode of Stronger Marriage Connection, Dr. Liz Hale and Dr. DaveSchramm talk with Joni Parthemer, an expert in childbirth education and Director of the Bringing Baby Home program at the Gottman Institute. They discuss the challenges new parents face, how relationship dynamics shift after childbirth, and practical tools to maintain a strong partnership. Joni shares the science behind relationship satisfaction, emotional attunement, and co-parenting strategies that help couples navigate early parenthood successfully. This conversation also highlights the importance of postpartum support, grandparent involvement, and how families can create a shared legacy. Packed with expert insights and actionable tips, this episode is a must-listen for expecting and new parents! About Joni: Joni Parthemer holds a Masters in Curriculum and Instruction/Learning Styles degree and is both a Master Trainer and Education Director for the Bringing Baby Home Program. She also holds certification as a Childbirth Educator and International Childbirth Association Approved Trainer. Joni is a faculty member at Simkin Center for Allied Birth Professions at Bastyr University as well as a Specialist in the Birth and Family Education Department at Swedish Medical Center in Seattle. Joni serves as an educator, trainer and consultant for a variety of educational and organizational programs. She serves families and those who support them with engaging authenticity and wit. She is an award-wining, internationally recognized speaker and facilitator who infuses her decades of experience with her charismatic and energetic style. Joni has developed, published, and implemented, a variety of training materials for educators interested in providing support and growth programs for families and communities. She is married and the mother of two children. Insights: Joni: "A child's well-being is deeply influenced by the health of their family environment. The best gift parents can give their children is a strong, healthy relationship—whether married, divorced, or co-parenting. Parents serve as role models for future relationships, shaping how their children connect with others. By maintaining friendship, managing conflict with respect, and creating shared meaning through family rituals, couples can build a supportive and nurturing "family fish tank" that fosters lasting emotional security." Liz: "The CPR approach—Consistency, Predictability, and Responsiveness—is not just valuable for parenting but also strengthens all relationships, including marriage and friendship. By being reliable, steady, and attentive, we create trust and connection in our most important relationships." Dave: "Education is key to growth. With so many resources available today, we have endless opportunities to learn and improve as partners, parents, and individuals." Joni's Links & Resources: https://jptrainsandspeaks.com/ Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways: Strongermarriage.org Podcast.stongermarriage.org Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/strongermarriage/ Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/strongermarriagelife/ Dr. Dave Schramm: http://drdaveschramm.com http://drdavespeaks.com Dr. Liz Hale: http://www.drlizhale.com This episode is filled with invaluable insights on how to transition smoothly into parenthood while keeping your relationship strong. Tune in and discover practical tools to support your growing family!
Why should your spouse ALWAYS come first in marriage? Discover why prioritizing your partner is the key to building a thriving, love-filled relationship that stands the test of time. On this episode of Married Into Crazy, Snooks and Lovie share personal stories, biblical wisdom, and expert insights from the Gottman Institute. Learn how to strengthen your bond, set a powerful example for your children, and create a safe, supportive space in your marriage. Whether it's handling conflict, making emotional "love bank" deposits, or fostering trust, this conversation is packed with actionable advice to take your marriage from good to phenomenal. Don't miss this heartfelt and practical guide to putting your spouse first! Visit www.MarriedIntoCrazy.com to see how we can help your marriage thrive! #selfimprovement #maritalhappiness #spousefirst #communicationskills #marriagepriorities CHAPTERS: 00:00 - Welcome Back 01:06 - Snooks: Self-Proclaimed Victim 02:56 - Married Into Crazy Gear 05:56 - Importance of Marriage Before Kids 12:07 - Benefits of Prioritizing Your Spouse 19:05 - Kids Are Always Watching 23:36 - Practical Steps for Couples 27:35 - Outro
Feeling overwhelmed but hesitant to ask your partner for more help? You're not alone. Many of us fear that asking for support will come across as nagging or ungrateful—but the truth is, appreciation and needing more can (and should) go hand in hand.In this episode, we'll break down the psychology behind why appreciation motivates behavior change, how to communicate your needs without resentment, and the key to creating a more balanced partnership. Research shows that healthy relationships thrive on a 5:1 ratio of positive to negative interactions (Gottman Institute), meaning the way we ask for help directly impacts the response we get.You'll walk away with:A step-by-step conversation framework for asking for more helpThe science behind why appreciation increases follow-throughWord-for-word phrases to keep the conversation productiveTips for navigating defensiveness or pushbackIf you've ever felt like you're carrying too much but don't want to start an argument, this episode is for you. Hit play now and learn how to ask for what you need—while still making your partner feel valued.Let's keep the conversation going! DM me on Instagram [@chelseabrookeskaggs] and let me know your biggest takeaway!Interested in using coaching as a tool to make the growth you want? Email me chelsea@postpartumtogether.com to explore options!
Be sure to watch this episode on YouTube: https://youtu.be/tEm34gytP4A Today In this episode of Stronger Marriage Connection, Dr. Liz Hale and Dr. DaveSchramm sit down with Laura Heck and Zach Brittle, co-hosts of Marriage Therapy Radio. Together, they break down why couples argue and how to navigate disagreements in a healthy way. Drawing from Dr. John Gottman’s research, they explore practical strategies to express needs, take responsibility, regulate emotions, and increase appreciation. Whether you're looking to stop recurring fights or strengthen your connection, this episode is packed with actionable insights to improve communication and create lasting harmony in your relationship. About: Laura Heck is a licensed marriage and family therapist and Certified Gottman Therapist. She isa relationship specialist, meaning she doesn't work with teenagers, doesn't treat eatingdisorders, and doesn't heal past life trauma. Nope...Laura is solely focused on helping couples.That's it. Better yet, if you are a busy professional couple with children at home that struggle with conflict and intimacy, you are exactly who Laura loves to help.Laura is co-host of Marriage Therapy Radio, hosts The Seven Principles for Making MarriageWork workshop for couples, coaches women through the Epic Wives Experiment, speaks andtrains for The Gottman Institute and is a regular media expert on the topic of intimaterelationships. Laura can often be found running through the wilderness with her pup, cooking up somethingfierce and golfing poorly. Laura has been with her beloved and patient husband for 16 yearsand they have a seven -year-old son together. Zach Brittle has been teaching, coaching, mentoring and counseling couples for nearly 20 years. He is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor (LMHC) in Washington and a Certified Gottman Therapist (CGT) specializing in evidence-based couples therapy based on over 40 years of marital research. He is the founder and co-host of Marriage Therapy Radio, creator of Your Marriage Masterclass, and the author of the best-selling relationship guide The Relationship Alphabet and the Marriage Therapy Journal. My writings and insights have also been featured on the Gottman Relationship Blog, Vanity Fair, Men’s Health Magazine, Real Simple Magazine, The New York Times and the Washington Post. He is happily married to Rebecca for 21 of 23 years – years #8 and 18 were bothpretty rough. We live in Seattle with our two daughters (14 & 18). We own a mini-van and most of the silverware we got as wedding presents. Links: Laura's Links: Marriage Therapy Radio PodcastWorkshop For CouplesEpic Wives ExperimentLaura's Gottman Profile Zach's Links: Your Marriage MasterclassThe Relationship AlphabetMarriage Therapy Journal Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways: Strongermarriage.org Podcast.stongermarriage.org Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/strongermarriage/ Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/strongermarriagelife/ Dr. Dave Schramm: http://drdaveschramm.com http://drdavespeaks.com Dr. Liz Hale: http://www.drlizhale.com This episode provides a compassionate and practical guide for anyone seeking to build healthier perspectives around sexuality, reduce shame, and improve intimacy in their relationships. Don't miss this deeply insightful discussion!
Empowered Relationship Podcast: Your Relationship Resource And Guide
Conflict is an inevitable aspect of any relationship, but how we handle it can make all the difference in the world. Whether you're finding that your disagreements escalate quickly or that issues get swept under the rug and resurface later, understanding your and your partner's conflict style can be a game-changer. How do you transform these clashes into opportunities for growth and deeper connection? The key lies in recognizing the patterns and learning the skills to navigate through them effectively. In this episode, we dive deep into the dynamics of different conflict styles—volatile, validating, and avoidant—and offer insights into how these patterns play out in relationships. You'll discover the importance of understanding not just your style but also your partner's, and how mismatched styles can be addressed for better harmony. With practical guidance and real-world examples, this discussion aims to equip you with the tools to foster a more resilient and connected relationship, even in the face of disagreements. Tune in to explore how you can create a new positive dynamic in your relationship by embracing and working with your unique conflict styles. Dr. Don Cole is the Clinical Director of The Gottman Institute and a licensed mental health counselor in the state of Washington. Along with his wife, Dr. Carrie Cole, he founded The Center for Relationship Wellness. With over 30 years of experience, he has worked with individuals and couples in various areas, including marital therapy, affair recovery, depression, anxiety, trauma recovery, parenting, and personality disorders. Check out the transcript of this episode on Dr. Jessica Higgin's website. In this episode 05:55 The three conflict styles: volatile, validating, and avoidant. 14:38 Conflicts arise in mismatched styles: the validator vs. the avoidant. 17:17 Understanding conflict styles: it's not about maturity or emotional intelligence. 19:34 Examining the volatile style: comfort with high energy and emotions. 26:06 The validator style: problem-solving and seeking understanding. 33:56 Managing conflict with avoidant partners: strategies for understanding. 35:37 Using the Gottman Rapoport style for effective communication. 43:46 Tools and resources: books, workshops, and psychoeducational materials. 45:56 Normalizing conflict: learning to accept and grow through differences. Mentioned Fight Right: How Successful Couples Turn Conflict Into Connection (*Amazon Affiliate link) (book) Evolve in Love (link) (program) Connect with Dr. Don Cole Websites: centerforrelationshipwellness.com Facebook: facebook.com/TheCenterForRelationshipWellness X: x.com/i/flow/login?redirect_after_login=%2FCtrRelWellness YouTube: youtube.com/channel/UCmdTIdlzy6gAz1j7f4ggk_A LinkedIn: linkedin.com/company/center-for-relationship-wellness Connect with Dr. Jessica Higgins Facebook: facebook.com/EmpoweredRelationship Instagram: instagram.com/drjessicahiggins Podcast: drjessicahiggins.com/podcasts/ Pinterest: pinterest.com/EmpowerRelation LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/drjessicahiggins Twitter: @DrJessHiggins Website: drjessicahiggins.com Email: jessica@drjessicahiggins.com If you have a topic you would like me to discuss, please contact me by clicking on the “Ask Dr. Jessica Higgins” button here. Thank you so much for your interest in improving your relationship. Also, I would so appreciate your honest rating and review. Please leave a review by clicking here. Thank you! *With Amazon Affiliate Links, I may earn a few cents from Amazon, if you purchase the book from this link.
Besure to watch this episode on YouTube: https://youtu.be/Lk5moCDwYWQ Today Don and Carrie Cole return and share with host Dr. Dave Schramm and Dr. Liz Hale a unique Relationship Evaluation checklist they created to help couples check up on there relationship connection. Don and Carrie also discuss unique insights and techniques they have learned in practice with couples at the Center for Relationship Wellness and The Gottman Institute to improve relationship connection and intimacy. About Dr. Don & Carrie Cole: Dr. Carrie Cole is the Director of Research for The Gottman Institute and manages the Gottman Love Lab. She holds a Ph.D. in psychological research and a master’s degree in counseling psychology. She is a licensed professional counselor and an approved LPC supervisor in the State of Texas, a licensed mental health counselor in the State of Washington, and a Certified Gottman Therapist. Carrie is a Master Trainer for The Gottman Institute and trains therapists in Gottman Method Couples Therapy around the world. She is a consultant for the certification program and has led The Art and Science of Love weekend workshop for couples multiple times a year since 2008. Carrie has also published peer-reviewed journal articles independently and with doctors John and Julie Gottman. Her work with couples includes couples therapy, workshops, seminars, and intensive marathon sessions. Carrie and her husband, Dr. Don Cole reside in Seattle, WA. Links: Centerforrelationshipwellness.comcarrie@gottman.comdon@gottman.comgottman.com Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways: Strongermarriage.org Podcast.stongermarriage.org Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/strongermarriage/ Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/strongermarriagelife/ Dr. Dave Schramm: http://drdaveschramm.com http://drdavespeaks.com Dr. Liz Hale: http://www.drlizhale.com This episode provides a compassionate and practical guide for anyone seeking to build healthier perspectives around sexuality, reduce shame, and improve intimacy in their relationships. Don't miss this deeply insightful discussion!
A lot of people think if you argue in your relationship it means something is wrong, but relationship therapist and sexologist Lucille Shackleton says it's actually a good thing - it just depends on how you fight.In this ep Dee Salmin gets all the advice from Lucille on how to deal with conflict with your partner in a healthy way. SHOW NOTES: Lucille's InstagramLucille's book All InGottman Institute research on conflict DM us your thoughts, questions, topics, or to just vent at @triplejthehookup on IG or email us: thehookup@abc.net.auThe Hook Up is an ABC podcast, produced by triple j. It is recorded on the lands of the Wurundjeri people of the Kulin nation. We pay our respects to elders past and present. We acknowledge Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples as the First Australians and Traditional Custodians of the land where we live, work, and learn.
In this episode of “Asking For A Friend with TalkDoc,” Dr. Pamela Kreiser, Meredith Edwards Nagle, and Teighlor Polendo discuss the intricacies of communication and relationships, emphasizing the difference between intent and impact. Using Maya Angelou's quote as a backdrop, the hosts explore how words and actions leave lasting impressions. Join the conversation as they share personal stories and research findings to highlight the importance of empathy, curiosity, and mindful communication in maintaining and repairing close relationships. Practical tips, including perception checks, are provided to help listeners improve their interactions, particularly in long-term relationships and family dynamics. Music by epidemic sound. SHOW NOTES: Experts : Angelou, Stamp and Knapp, Albright, Brown, Gottman Resources : Stamp and Knapp Article: https://psycnet.apa.org/record/1991-04377-001 Albright, et al. Study: https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0022103103001288 Maya Angelou Quotation: https://www.goodreads.com/author/quotes/3503.Maya_Angelou Brene Brown: https://brenebrown.com/art/ Gottman Institute: https://www.gottman.com/ Tools : Formula for Perception Checking Identify the Behavior Offer Two Interpretations Request for Clarification Links : Episode 001: The Message Received is the One That Counts https://pod.link/afafwithtalkdoc/episode/6dce9b4a421e11cc80560cc626684dde Episode 065: REAL TALK! Checking Our Perception Checking https://youtu.be/qFih99VMeOU
Scroll down for a transcription of this episodeFrom daily check-ins to meaningful compliments and planned dates nights, we explore a 7-day love challenge to help couples strengthen their relationships. Summary: Developed by renowned psychologists Julie and John Gottman. Based on decades of research, this week-long practice offers simple, actionable steps to deepen connection and nurture relationships. From meaningful check-ins and heartfelt compliments to the importance of touch, we uncover how small, intentional actions can create lasting bonds. Whether you're looking to reignite romance or strengthen your partnership, the 7-day love challenge provides practical tools to bring more love and connection into your life.Sign up for The Science of Happiness podcast's 7-Day Love Challenge to receive these science-backed practices delivered directly to your inbox at greatergood.berkeley.edu/7daylovechallengeThis is part of our series The Science of Love.More about the 7-day love challenge:Drs. John and Julie Gottman are psychologist and the co-founders of The Gottman Institute. They created this practiced based on decades of research studying over 3,000 couples.Check out their book, The Love Prescription, Seven Days to More Intimacy, Connection, and Joy: https://tinyurl.com/34nt5vv9This episode is supported by The John Templeton Foundation.Related The Science of Happiness episodes: Who's Always There For You?: https://tinyurl.com/yt3ejj6wWhen It's Hard to Connect, Try Being Curious: https://tinyurl.com/bde6wyu7Are Your Remembering The Good Times: https://tinyurl.com/483bkk2hRelated Happiness Breaks:Loving Kindness Meditation: https://tinyurl.com/2kr4fjz5A Meditation on How to Be Your Best Self: https://tinyurl.com/3b38pw2fFollow us on Instagram: @ScienceOfHappinessPod We'd love to hear about your experience with this practice! Share your thoughts at happinesspod@berkeley.edu or use the hashtag #happinesspod.Find us on Apple Podcasts: https://tinyurl.com/2p9h5aapHelp us share The Science of Happiness! Leave us a 5-star review on Apple Podcasts and share this link with someone who might like the show: https://tinyurl.com/2p9h5aapTranscription: https://tinyurl.com/bdh2ezhr
Discover all of the podcasts in our network, search for specific episodes, get the Optimal Living Daily workbook, and learn more at: OLDPodcast.com. Episode 2465: David and Constantino Khalaf share their own experiences as an introverted couple navigating these differences, showing how open communication, trust, and small acts of kindness can help partners meet each other's needs without resentment. By embracing their differences rather than resisting them, they've learned to strengthen their relationship and build a deeper emotional connection. Read along with the original article(s) here: https://www.gottman.com/blog/dance-intimacy-independence-marriage/ Quotes to ponder: “There are times when you feel drawn to your loved one and times when you feel the need to pull back and replenish your sense of autonomy.” “If David ignores his need for independence, the abundance of intimacy begins to breed resentment.” “Viewing it as a dance rather than a tug of war reminds us to collaborate to meet each other's needs rather than fight to preserve our own.” Episode references: The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work: https://www.amazon.com/dp/0553447718 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Discover all of the podcasts in our network, search for specific episodes, get the Optimal Living Daily workbook, and learn more at: OLDPodcast.com. Episode 2465: David and Constantino Khalaf share their own experiences as an introverted couple navigating these differences, showing how open communication, trust, and small acts of kindness can help partners meet each other's needs without resentment. By embracing their differences rather than resisting them, they've learned to strengthen their relationship and build a deeper emotional connection. Read along with the original article(s) here: https://www.gottman.com/blog/dance-intimacy-independence-marriage/ Quotes to ponder: “There are times when you feel drawn to your loved one and times when you feel the need to pull back and replenish your sense of autonomy.” “If David ignores his need for independence, the abundance of intimacy begins to breed resentment.” “Viewing it as a dance rather than a tug of war reminds us to collaborate to meet each other's needs rather than fight to preserve our own.” Episode references: The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work: https://www.amazon.com/dp/0553447718 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
On this episode: Nate and Aaron talk about experiences at the 2024 Italian Samson Retreat with nuns. Our Guest: Zach Brittle, who is the only Gottman and RLT trained couples therapist in the world. He is also a cohost of Marriage Therapy Radio, a husband, father, teacher, and four years sober, recovering alcoholic. Zach discusses getting married at 23 and being happily married for 24 of the 27 years. He works for the Gottman Institute and tells us the origins of the Gottman method and why it's so effective in therapy. Zach encourages us to be curious about the possibilities for our relationship beyond repairing the issue that brought us to therapy. Also, being curious about what's not being said, and the origins of addiction and shame. He shares the science behind successful marriage repair. He leaves us with many hopeful and positive resources as well. Links: Zach Brittle Books: Marriage Therapy Journal By: Zach Brittle The Relationship Alphabet: A Practical Guide to Better connection for Couples: By Zach Brittle Reconnect: A Marriage Counseling Workbook: Guided Conversations and Exercises for Long-Lasting Relationship By: Zach Brittle and Laura Heck Other Books Mentioned: I Don't Want to Talk About It: Overcoming the Secret Legacy of Male Depression By: Terrence Real Us: Getting Past You & Me to Build a More Loving Relationship By: Terrence Real How Can I get Through to You: Reconnecting Men and Women By: Terrence Real The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work By: John Gottman and Nan Silver Summit: 2025 Samson Summit Sponsor: Life Works Counseling If you have thoughts or questions that you'd like the guys to address in upcoming episodes or suggestions for future guests, please drop a note to piratemonkpodcast@gmail.com. The music on this podcast is contributed by members of the Samson Society and www.fiftysounds.com. For more information on this ministry, please visit samsonsociety.com. Support for the women who have been impacted by our choices is available at sarahsociety.com. The Pirate Monk Podcast is provided by Samson Society, a ministry of Samson House, a 501(c)3 nonprofit. To help support the vision, please consider a contribution to Samson House.
In this powerful and vulnerable episode, Robert and Sharla demonstrate how to process a regrettable incident—a big fight or emotional injury that still holds an emotional charge. Over the past three episodes, they've explored the ideal steps to repair conflict in the moment - which is ideally the goal. But what happens when repair doesn't happen early or often? How do couples handle the aftermath of a major fight? Using the Gottman Institute's Regrettable Incident Formula, Robert and Sharla work through a recent unresolved conflict live on the podcast. This unscripted conversation offers a real-life example of how to move past defensiveness, build understanding, and create a stronger connection. What You'll Learn in This Episode:- The 6-Step Process for processing a regrettable incident: 1. Agreements: Setting ground rules to create safety and openness. 2. Feelings: Sharing emotions experienced during the conflict without defensiveness. 3. Realities: Taking turns describing perspectives and validating each other's experiences. 4. Triggers: Identifying personal triggers and past experiences that may have intensified the conflict. 5. Responsibility: Acknowledging each partner's role in what happened. 6. Constructive Plans: Collaborating on practical ways to handle future conflicts more effectively. - Why processing past incidents is about achieving understanding, not rehashing or assigning blame. - The importance of waiting until both partners are calm and emotionally ready to process. - How the cycle of harmony, disharmony, and repair builds trust, compassion, and deeper love in relationships. Key Takeaways: - Processing a regrettable incident requires emotional distance and a willingness to engage constructively. - The goal is mutual understanding, not reliving the argument or trying to “win.” - Taking responsibility and creating actionable solutions is essential for true repair. - The most important relational skills—trust, empathy, and love—are built during repair, not during harmony. Why This Episode Matters: Conflict is inevitable in every relationship. Thriving relationships aren't defined by an absence of conflict but by the ability to repair and grow stronger after moments of disharmony. This episode offers tools to help couples navigate the aftermath of major fights with vulnerability and intentionality. Resources Mentioned:- The Gottman Institute's Regrettable Incident Formula - Episodes 1-3 in this series: - The Rhythm of Relationships - How to Speak for Repair - How to Listen for Repair Next Steps:For more practical tools and tips, follow Robert and Sharla on Instagram, and leave a review if this episode resonated with you.
Discover all of the podcasts in our network, search for specific episodes, get the Optimal Living Daily workbook, and learn more at: OLDPodcast.com. Episode 3353: Terry Gaspard explores how couples like Teresa and Brian, struggling with everyday frustrations, can strengthen their marriage by creating shared meaning. Through common goals, open communication, and meaningful rituals, partners can deepen their connection and nurture a lasting, fulfilling relationship beyond just the practicalities of life. Read along with the original article(s) here: https://www.gottman.com/blog/enriching-marriage-creating-shared-meaning/ Quotes to ponder: “It seems like Brian puts all of his energy into his job and has little left over for me, our kids, or our home at the end of the day.” “Just because you fall in love with someone, that doesn't mean that love will stay alive without nurturing your partnership.” “What might be missing is what Dr. John Gottman refers to as a sense of shared meaning.” Episode references: Fighting for Your Marriage: https://www.amazon.com/Fighting-Your-Marriage-Edition-Conflicts/dp/1118672925 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Relationship Experts Drs. John & Julie Gottman EXPOSE the SHOCKING REASON Why Relationships Fail. 94% Accurate Divorce Predictions: Discover the biggest predictors that guarantee which marriages will crumble and how to get the LOVE you WANT! The Gottman duo are world leading relationship researchers that have been studying couples for over 40 years, publishing over 200 academic journal articles and 46 books. They are the co-founders of The Gottman Institute and Love Lab. Drs Gottman drop the ULTIMATE Relationship Bombshells, including the 4 Horsemen of Relationship Apocalypse (Spot these 4 predictors of relationship demise before they DESTROY your love life!), PLUS....learn the #1 skill for Connection and BETTER SEX! Your relationship is either HELPING or HARMING you HEALTH, and is a big factor in how you fight disease. The Gottmans also break down:- The #1 Cause of CHEATING & how it can lead to PTSD- Childhood Trauma's Hidden Role in Relationships: How a lack of positive relationship role models can WRECK your marriage- Ways to better support your partner's trauma- Why Addiction can spell disaster for even the strongest of relationships- Phases of recovery from affairs & other forms of betrayal- How to argue with your partner in a healthy way- Why today's culture seems to be afraid of long term commitment- Codependency: Is it really as HORRIBLE as it sounds, or could it be the key to your marriage's survival & your own longevity?- Why Women Are UNHAPPY: The unsettling reason behind women's relationship dissatisfaction and the FEARS they face daily- Men's Emotional Needs: How today's involved dads are CHANGING EVERYTHING- Social Media's Role in Cheating: How it's fueling nonmonogamy and screwing up your communication- Effects of porn addiction on the other partner- Key communication factors in healthy partnerships- The Managerial Marriage: Why losing PLAYTIME is the nail in the coffin for happy marriages- The Power of a 6-SECOND KISS: This simple act could SAVE your relationship! TUNE IN to MBB now & learn how to turn around your relationship before it's too late! The latest version of The New Marriage Clinic: https://wwnorton.com/books/9781324016311BialikBreakdown.comYouTube.com/mayimbialik